#One Spring Night lockscreens

[ilkkawhat]

[13curses]

𐔌 cockwarming toji after a horror movie scares you ! mdni

𝔀arning. fem!reader, age gap, comfort n sillies except for p in v <3 wc. 1,625 ⟢

you promised your new boyfriend toji you'd be just fine if you guys were to watch a horror movie. a borderline dumb, pig's blood type of slasher would've been just fine, except a psychological found footage horror has piqued your interest. toji claims if you were a cat, curiousity would kill you.

and it does bite you in the ass at three o’clock when you find yourself shifting, having to pee enough for it to wake you up. except . . your silly mind decides to flash images from the movie, hell, your dazed state convinces you that if you're to grab your phone and unlock it, your lockscreen will be from the movie.

your heart quickly begins to palpate and you dare not open your eyes, instead you curl up like the aforementioned kitten toji compared you to. speaking of toji, you've stopped cuddling a couple of hours ago, and as far as you know from the pitch black scenario, you're facing away from one another.

it's fine, it's cool, it's a hot night in the midst of spring and sometimes not glueing to each other is for the best when it comes to comfort. not this time, though.

“toji..?” you mumble.

no response. deep slumber. you hear his soft snorts, you even get petrified when they're delayed after one another.

“toji..” you call out again, voice in a higher pitch, more desperate. you turn to face his back—eyes still shut—and reach out to tap at his chiseled, uncovered back.

you whimper, and like a sleeper agent, toji grunts himself awake, head turning left-n-right, confused.

“mmwhat? what?” he grumbles, chest roaring as he shifts to face you.

he reaches out, and you’re glad he takes the initiative to move closer ‘cause you hold onto his arm for dear life, bringing it to your neck like a scarf. his biceps are adamantine even when he’s not flexing them. his calloused hand, immediately cupping your head, is kind.

“bad dream?” he asks in a suspicious tone with a bit of a told ya so meaning. you hook your hands over his muscles, humming.

“not exactly.” you huff shakily. “i have to pee . .”

toji gnaws at his own saliva, voice hoarse from awakening at dawn. “you panicked ‘cause ya have to pee?”

“no, stupid!” you exclaim, a cartoony wobble in your defensive voice. “i can’t go alone . .”

toji scoffs through his nose, hot breath fanning your face. he attempts taking his arm from you to sit up, but the inevitable force of you not letting go causes him to readjust his movement: he wraps both arms around you, unfolding your curled up state, and easily brings you upwards.

“let’s get you potty-trained, then.”

“you’re horrible.” you mumble, yet as soon as you’re scooped from the messy sheets, you vine your limbs around your boyfriend and bore your nose into his shoulder.

“sure . . shit, your heart’s ‘boutta pop out, sweet thing.”

throughout your trip to the bathroom, toji tells you he wasn’t affected by the horrors at all; he kept in mind that it was all acted out, scripted fiction. in fact, there were probably many bloopers and costume-design mishaps when it came to the part that frightened you the most.

waiting for you to finish, he leans against the counter, scratching his ribs, licking the scar across his lips. you apologise for lying about being fine with the genre and he says he doubts it counts as a lie as he pats your head, placing a lazy kiss in your hair.

when you’re carried back to bed, you intertwine to cuddle.

“you gonna be fine, doll?”

“yeah. you’re . . okay with snuggling, right? i know it’s a bit hot for it.”

“heh. you were not this concerned about clinging ‘ta me when we were just fooling around.”

you sigh, defeated, ear pressed against toji’s chest, listening to his much calmer pulse—trying to synchronise your own heartbeat with it.

“hey, now. you’re scared. i get it. if anyone or anything did come out of the screen to haunt you-”

you nestle impossibly closer at just the idea of that.

“. . which is not happening.” he articulates distinctly. “regardless, i would beat the fuck out of them, even in my sleep.”

you hum in understanding, feeling much more content with his raspy voice talking you out of it. “please stay close all night.”

toji nuzzles your side, trimmed nails soothing your skin. it’s silent for a second.

“wanna make sure i do?”

you look up at him, lashes fluttering in question.

“how? do we wear handcuffs, or?”

toji snorts, humoured, and you smile at the reaction you gain. “no. you’d rip me off the bed with the way you can toss around, sweets. i’m thinkin’ about being inside you.”

oh.

“you mean cockwarming?”

“if it needs a name, sure.”

you give it some thought, seconds pass by, and soon toji’s limbs feel heavier around you, meaning he will fall asleep in a blink if you don’t respond now.

“yes. okay.”

“attagirl.”

the sound of sheets ruffling fills the room as toji leisurely gets rid of his sweatpants and you roll down your panties. “lemme prep you, okay?”

you nod definitively—his massive hands meet your thighs that fit his grip like perfect handles. you hook a leg over his waist so he has more access. he continues palming one thigh of yours, other hand hovering over your chest to meet your nipple under his your tee.

you wince at his touch, buckling your crotch onto his abs. a kiss is placed on your forehead, then between your brows, nose, and you lift your chin when you comprehend that he wants to make out. tasting one another’s sugary lips softly, you claw at his chest dully, heaving delicately.

“can i help you, too?”

toji bites your plush lip slowly before answering, “your reactions are enough to get me going, baby. but if you wanna touch, ‘m all yours, yeah?”

“yeah.” you agree instantly. he finds your eagerness adorable.

as you wander down his torso, fingertips appreciating the way he’s carved, his touch between your lega travels to your core, too. he’s truthful—your little whines and so were enough to get him semi-hard. his large cock curves into your small hold impressively. it makes your breath hitch.

“it doesn’t bite.” he teases.

“it can be mean, though.”

true, his stupidly colossal dick has proved itself to be a menace to your cervix a number of times, but right now, its intentions are not entirely carnal. your comfort device will be oh-so-filling and lovely.

you form a fist around his girth. he lets go of your thigh and brings his index fingers to your mouth, “lick them for me.”

you oblige, pink tongue glossing his digits, even attaching your lips onto them. your teeth graze him as he removes his fingers, you’d keep on sucking if you didn’t know the purpose of getting them wet.

toji brings his hand down to seperate your semi-slick folds, tips lightly pressing against your pearly nub, welcoming it in a circular motion. you pant out in pleasure, fist tightening around his cock as you stimulate him so you have him inside you as soon as possible.

his thumb is pushed against your crotch as he cups your cunt, murmuring in satisfaction at your warmth. “you feel relaxed, little one?”

“yes.”

he moans harshly at the way your thumb crease brushes his mushroom tip. you grind onto him again, and shortly after, your flowing arousal makes a squelching noise below toji’s rubs. it’s all so sensual, you almost wish you didn’t have to end the foreplay.

however, when toji reaches down to take his cock from your clutch, positioning himself between your shorter self, the mere surface of his crown lets you know just how good, how fulfilled you’re about to be.

once in position, he grabs your hips—both of your eyes fixated on the contact happening—to help himself sink, sink, sink into your irreplaceable, gooey hole. he grits his teeth behind ajar lips, and as collected as he is, you’re not with your perfect little 0 shaped mouth.

“biiig stretch, fuck-that’s it.”

(you can tell he’s having a hard time refraining from thrusting into you beyond that.)

“oh…” you exhale, feeling compensated. there’s an itch that penetration scratches, especially when it comes to your boyfriend and his glove-fitting size. not having him move or explore your sweet spot is a bit weird for now, though, and your petal-like walls promptly clamp down on him, your body adjusting to the state of being still.

he hisses, “don’t jinx it.”

your eyes open wide and you beg his pardon, “jinx it?! i can’t loosen it. how about you go more limp?”

he looks you dead in the eye, trying hard to keep focused. he looks so serious to the naked eye, it makes you want to laugh, but that would have you squeezing him tighter, so you bring your hand to your mouth to bite your knuckles, pausing your breath.

toji rolls on his back, flipping you onto his chest as you remain smiling. your pooling wetness guarantees him a ludicrous feeling of warmth, and in return, his rock hardness fills you up deliciously.

you lay your head sideways on his chest, fingers sweetly scraping his side as you’re getting used to the sensation.

“you’re so fuckin’ cute.”

you scoff, relaxing as he gifts you by running his fingers through your hair, caressing your scalp. “you’re so handsome, toji.”

he leans down to kiss you, once long, then just a peck for a good night’s sake.

“good night, pretty baby.”

“good night, toji.”

. . .

“shit. we didn’t check under the bed for monsters.” he taunts.

you squeeze.

[nycbaby21]

Trevor Zegras Imagine

Double date with Jamie and Trevor

word count: 2,869

“C’mon please,” I hear for probably the eighth time in the past hour. I take a deep breath and close my laptop knowing this essay isn’t getting finished tonight. The past three days my roommate Harper has been trying to get me to agree to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend.” If I go tonight there are gonna be some requirements agreed on first,” I sigh knowing soon enough she’d make me cave.

She jumps up from the couch running over and hugging me at the kitchen counter. I laugh as she squeezes me and say,”Harp calm down okay. I said yes but you owe me.” She pulls back, her bright blue eyes filled with excitement, and nods while also slightly jumping up and down.”You will be buying dinner every night this week. You have to do all the dishes too. And lastly, this is the biggest one, please don’t just leave me alone with someone I just met,” I say knowing she will do atleast two of the three things.” Sounds like we have a deal.” Famous last words.

I knew I was being dramatic, Harper knew, hell even Jamie knew I was and he wasn’t even here yet. It wasn’t because I was trying to be difficult honestly, but the idea of going on a date with a professional hockey player was really nerve wracking. Luckily I knew Jamie well enough to know what his roommates name was, so after a quick google search to make myself feel better I felt worse. Trevor Zegras, New York native, number 11 for the Anaheim Ducks, and lastly hottest guy I had ever seen. A soft knockon my door breaks me from my staring contest with my phone.” Come in.”

Jamie opens my bedroom door and smiles wide at me. I return the smile halfway as he sits at my desk chair.” Y/n I want you to listen to me okay. I know you are nervous about tonight and if you really don’t wanna go you don’t have to. I don’t want you doing anything uncomfortable with. Harper is only being so annoying about it because of Z. After he saw her lockscreen of the two of you from Halloween last year he hasn’t stopped asking about you. He finally annoyed her enough for you to come tonight.” I snap my head towards him and raise an eyebrow confused.

” What are you talking about Jamie? I thought you wanted me to go tonight because you felt bad ditching him on his first night back from his trip,” I ask because that is what Harper told me. His blue eyes go wide and blush quickly rushes to his face and falling all the way down to his neck.” Well yeah… I mean of course that’s why… we,” he started stuttering knowing he had messed up. I give him a look as he jumps up and races down to the kitchen. I quickly follow him and am met with him kissing Harp bye and headed home.” See you later,” he rushes as he closes the door.

“What the hell was that,” I look at her and then back to the door.” What? Oh Jamie. Well you know I love him but he is kinda an odd duck sometimes,” she smiles not making eye contact. “Harper was what Jamie said true? He wanted to meet me because of your lock screen,” I question rounding the corner and standing beside her so she has to look at me. She takes a deep breath and finally looks at me.” Yes okay. Jamie didn’t know that I may have left some details out so don’t be upset with him. Trevor saw my phone and said you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen. I just know you Y/n. If you knew Trevor was excited to meet you it would freak you out, like it is doing right now. I promise I didn’t mean to upset you I thought I was helping,” she looked up with sad puppy eyes. I knew she wouldn’t hurt me on purpose and neither would Jamie. I lean over and wrap my arms around her. She sighs and nuzzles deeper into the hug.

“You were right. I am kinda freaking out. I also may or may not have googled him,” I say my voice growing smaller as the sentence finishes. She springs backs and looks at me laughing.” Y/n! This is too good oh my gosh. So, what did you think,” she props her head up with her hands and smirks at me. I push her head and get up walking back towards my room.” Just so you know this is gonna be in my speech at your wedding.”

Hours later I take one last final look in the mirror. I went with a light green sweater and light washed jeans. The jeans were tight enough to show my figure, but not too tight to be uncomfortable. I lean down running my hands through my freshly curled hair and smile. The doorbell ringing makes my smile drop. My stomach is swirling with nervousness. I haven’t been on a date with a guy I didn’t like in forever and now I’m going on one with someone I do. I slowly walk down the stairs to see Jamie waving through the window by the door. Laughing at him, I reach down and twist the doorknob open.

The sight I’m met with is straight from a rom-com. Two ridicously attractive guys standing at the front door with flowers and huge smiles. My eyes drift from Jamie to Trevor’s flowers then finally to his eyes. He smiles and I can see a light pink dusting on his cheeks.” Well don’t you guys look nice. Come in Harper is just finishing up,” I say pulling the door wider and let Jamie lead them in. I laugh silently at Jamie even ringing the doorbell since he already has a key to our place. He makes quick work of finding two vases for the flowers as Trevor stands to the side awkwardly. It was cute seeing this super confident guy look like a kid being dropped off by his parents on the first day of school.” You can sit if you want to, don’t have to stand there the whole time. Harper always takes forever getting ready,” I smile at him hoping to calm both of our nerves.

He joins me at the kitchen counter and slides into the seat next to me.” I’m Y/n by the way. I know you knew that already but it felt weird to not introduce myself.” He turns and I can see just how bright his eyes are this close. His smile curls up his face as he lets out a laugh.” I’m so glad you said that. I was wondering if I was supposed to because Jamie told me you knew the basics about me, so I’m glad you led the way. I’m Trevor by the way and these are for you,” he pushes the flowers in my direction. I take them from him as our fingers brush each other’s and we stop. Looking up quickly at each other and then blushing again. I twirl the small bouquet of daisies around and smile at them.” Harp said they were your favorite,” he says quietly. This is a very different verison of him that I thought I would be meeting tonight. From all the stories and interviews I knew he was a loud lovable goofball but seeing him kinda shy and reserved was interesting.

Jamie interrupted our staring contest by placing the vase down infront of me and softly pulling the flowers from my hands to get them into water. Before he can make a comment, which I could tell he was going to by the twinkle in his eye, Harper finally made it downstairs and greeted Jamie with a small kiss.” Okay let’s go people. Seriously I have no idea why we haven’t left yet,” she jokes laughing at how even she knew her and time had a difficult relationship.

The night exceeded my expectations by a thousand percent. We all walked around the fairgrounds and as the night went along Trevor finally let his personality start to show. We followed closely behind the happy couple infront of us and both laughed at how such a small girl could drag the defencemen around like it was nothing. As I followed them into the line for the ferris wheel, I felt Trevor stop behind me. Turning around I can see the nervous look in his eyes mixed with dread. Sensing his resistance to get in line I figured he wasn’t the biggest fan of heights. Jamie and Harper turn around and see us standing back from them. As Trevor opens his mouth to explain why he stopped I cut him off,” I’m not really feeling this one guys. Trev do you think it’d be okay if we skip this one and do something else.” The anxiety visibly leaves his body as he nods quickly. Reaching down and lacing our fingers together I look back to our friends.” We will catch up with you guys after,” Harper says coming over and giving me a quick hug. She then leans up as close as she can get to Trevor’s ear due to their height difference,” you pull anything your ass in mine Zegras.”

After basically prying Trevor from the spot he had been frozen to since Harper threatened him, we make our way to a small table to eat our shared funnel cake.” Thank you for that by the way,” he says looking over at me with a shy smile. I shake my head,” hey don’t mention it. If I’m being honest I’m kinda glad we skipped it. I’m having fun just the two of us.” His smile reaches his eyes and he slowly reaches out and connects our hands again.” Me too,” he exclaims while rubbing his thumb back and forth on my hands. We finished up and stood up looking around for the rest of our group. A message from a group chat including the four of us, which was just made, explained how they saw us having a good time and decided to go back to the boy’s place for the night. I laugh at the face he makes reading the text.” Oh you think this is funny missy. I love them but they haven’t spent time alone together in a minute so,” he stopped his sentence not having to finish it.” I find it hilarious mister,” I say poking his chest,” because if I’m not mistaken I had to deal with Valentine’s Day so I dont wanna hear it.” We both laughed at our shared trauma of sharing a wall with the two of them.” Okay so what’s next? I do not wanna go home yet,” he says walking forward lacing our fingers back together. I look down and smile at how natural it feels.

“Well they close soon so wanna try and find somewhere else that’s open this late,” I ask pulling out my phone again to search for things to do. I let out a squeal as I notice I never cleared my recent search history, the one including my cyberstalking of Trevor.” No way I just saw what I think I saw,” he laughs reaching down for my phone. I quickly move it behind my back slipping my other hand from his to have a better grip on it.” I have no idea what you are talking about,” I laugh nervously knowing he probably thinks I’m a weirdo stalker now.” Okay then let me see your phone.” As the words leave his mouth I blush even harder and shake my head. He continues walking towards me as I walk back away from him. All is going fine until I feel something hard hit my back. Silently cursing I notice I literally backed myself into a wall.

Trevor finally reaches me and stops just a couple inches from my body. Both of our breathing is heavy and the phone was the last thing on our minds. His blue eyes dart from mine to my lips a couple times making sure I can see it. I smile at him as he leans down slowly, giving me any chance to stop this. Getting frustrated, I lean forwards connecting our lips and wrapping my arms around his neck. He quickly recovers and leans more into me, pushing me deeper into the brick wall behind me. Only pulling away because we need air, I hear him chuckle as I still have my eyes closed scared that if I open them this could all just be a cruel dream. Finally opening them I see his flushed face and slightly swollen lips.” There she is,” he whispers looking into my eyes. I laugh and lean forward resting my head on his chest. I can feel the rapid beat of his heart and just sit in the moment for a second. That second was quickly interrupted by him snatching my phone from my hands and running to put some distance between us.” Trevor! Seriously no,” I plead but it’s too late. He is scrolling through my google laughing the whole time he does it. Feeling so embarrassed I turn away from him and start walking towards the exit. I guess he noticed and caught up to me quickly, stupid long legs. I try not to make eye contact and keep walking ahead when he stops right infornt of me.

“Hey look I’m sorry okay. Please look at me,” I can hear the sincerity in his voice, but that doesn’t help with how stupid I feel. I refuse to look at him, my eyes drifting everywhere else. He lightly places his hand under my chin and moves my head to look at him.” Hi,” he smiles at me almost making it hard for me to be mad he stole my phone.” Hi,” I whisper back finally letting myself relax alittle.” I am sorry Y/n. I just got a little excited. I mean it’s not everyday that you find out the girl you have been dreaming about was looking you up before a date,” he speaks softly like you would to a scared animal. I sigh and let a lone tear fall down my face. His thumb quickly swipes it away,” I just don’t want you to think I’m so weirdo who stalked you.” He laughs and puts both hands on my cheeks. I reach up and wrap mine around his wrist keeping him locked in afraid he may run.” I mean I do think you are a weirdo but not because of that.” I laugh and roll my eyes at his joke.” Seriously I think it’s cute. I totally scrolled all the way through your instagram the second I learned your name from Harper,” he confessed.

Laughing I lean up and connect our lips and then quickly pull back. He makes a small noise of protest and I giggle,” now who’s the weirdo.” He laughs and leans his head down to rest on mine. We stay in the moment until some guy yells at us saying the park closed five minutes ago. Grabbing his hand, I take of running pulling him along with me laughing the whole time. We uber back to my place and Trevor walks me up to the door. He swings our hands with every step and continues even when we reach the door.” I had a really great time tonight,” he blushes running thumb along my hand again.” Me too. Best date I’ve ever been on,” I smile up at him. He leans down and give me one final kiss before walking towards his car, Jamie and Harper must have come back here and got hers. Our hands stay connected until they can’t anymore. I laugh at him and yell out,”dork.” He smiles and runs back up to me kissing me again suddenly.” Only for you,” he winks then runs back to his car heading back to his place. I wave at him as he pulls out and I finally make my way upstairs and get ready for bed.

After getting settled I lay down in bed with a huge smile on my face. This night couldn’t have gone any better. Then my thoughts are cut off by the small ding of my phone. One new message for Trev 😍🥵😮‍💨. I laugh at the contact name he must have put in there when he had my phone.

Trev 😍🥵😮‍💨: I made it back home and I’m laying down wondering what’s the point of going to sleep when my dreams already came true 😘

Number 1 fan 🧡🖤: That was the cheesiest thing I have ever heard. I’m glad you made it home. I can’t wait to see you again.

Trev 😍🥵😮‍💨: Same here. Can’t keep my number one fan lonely now can I?

Number 1 fan 🧡🖤: I’m glad you have to listen to them tonight just for that comment.

[cut-the-camera]

Halloween with Charlie Spring

CHARLIE SPRING X MALE READER

You two have been planning it together for weeks, he managed to convince his mum to let you come over for halloween so you had the whole night planned

He would constantly be sending you pictures of costume ideas or decorations or Tiktok's of things you could bake or films you could plan

In the weeks leading up to halloween the two of you would go on various 'autumn themed dates' whether that's pumpkin picking, corn mazes, apple picking, haunted houses, pumpkin carving, scary film nights, walks in the woods, baking etc (you'd be like those cringy 'couple goals' instagram accounts)

He gets very particular about the decorations, the two of you very much adopt the 'I tell you where to put things and you put the there' or else he gets very frustrated

He has the clever and creative ideas and you make it happen, whether that's hanging up ghosts or stringing up lights

His dad and Tori enjoy themselves watching him boss you around

The two of you might take Oliver and your younger sibling if you have one trick or treating. You'd both find your best last minute costumes and happily escort them from house to house collecting sweets and little toys and chocolates. (You'd both beam if any of the houses allowed you to take some sweets too)

The two of you cuddle up under blankets watching scary/halloween films, with flinching and snuggling closer into each other when things get too scary

You'd both talk about your future together and your dreams of taking your own kids trick or treating and what cute costumes you'd dress them up in

At the end of the night you would take any left over trick or treat sweet up to your room and continue the movie night there

HALLOWEEN PARTY

If he wasn't invited to a party that you went to you would desperately want to bring him with you. He may decline this offer because he doesn't want to crash your friends party

He'd stalk keep up to date with how the party's going through your instagram story (getting only a little bit jealous)

If you did go together, you two would be the kings of gender bent couple costumes whether it's Romeo and Juliet, devil and angel, barbie and ken etc. (this would be after the two of you complain at length about their being very little option for same sex couple costumes)

Before you left you would be excitedly getting ready in your rooms, helping each other with your make up and costumes, taking countless selfies and pictures of each other to post on your stories and social media. A picture of the two of you kissing in a cute couple costume would inevitably become one of your phone backgrounds/lockscreens

If the whole group went, Darcy and Tao would beg you allllll to do a group costume. Whether that's men in black, heathers power rangers, ninja turtles etc

I can't imagine you'd stray far from each other at a party, sticking by each others side and ending up cuddling on the sofa or outside looking up at the fireworks or stars

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

REQUESTS

[angelsturniolo]

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen? a photo of the triplets drawn like the peanuts

🍫 Cheese or chocolate? chocolate

✨ Do you have any nicknames? yes

🎵 Last song you listened to? tunnel vision by melanie martinez

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction? yes

😏 Are you on discord? not really active on there

 💛 Do you have any piercings? i have an earlobe piercing!

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person? personality, hygiene, and music taste

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be? the frosted one with sprinkles you get at the supermarket

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person? i love both! i'm gonna say dogs

🎧 Headphones or earbuds? headphones

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud? shit

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know? taylor swifts enchanted dress, the floral one, there was a small fire backstage and sadly the dress burnt :(

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl all the way

🧸 Favorite place to nap? my bed, couch, or vehicles

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? yes! i'm bisexual

🦋 Describe yourself in three words. sweet, loyal, creative

👖 Jeans or sweatpants? sweatpants

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order? dirty chai latte or a vanila sweet cream cold brew (both iced)

🧡 A color you can’t stand? dark yellow

💎 What’s your most prized possession? my beautifully signed card from the triplets

☕ Coffee or tea? coffee

🦖 Favorite extinct animal? sacabambaspis

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr? almost a month

🌴 Desert island item? water

🐸 Describe your aesthetic. downtown girl/comfy in the fall/winter, y2k and minimal in the spring/summer

🔮 What’s your dream job? a singer

💙 Relationship status? single :(

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit. hoodies, sweaters, zip up hoodies, baggy jeans, fitted tops, sweatpants, black leggings, sweatshirts, sweatshorts, oversized tshirt, tank top

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to? a lot actually, mostly all of melanie martinez's songs, a lot of taylor swift, madison beer, dominic fike, chappell roan

🤎 What color is your hair? blonde, my hair is slowly getting darker though

💌 Do you talk to yourself? yes

💄 Do you wear makeup? everyday.

🌸 Best compliment you ever received? that i literally was the beauty standard

💞 @ your favorite blog. @cherib3lla @bratzforchris

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[unknownjpegs]

not a waste

Xavier realizes he’s nervous when someone bumps into him and he fucking jumps. Makes a noise and everything, a small yelp of surprise that causes him to almost throw his cell phone. The stranger whose shoulder had grazed Xavier’s gives him a judgmental eyeful before tucking herself closer to her small children—which doesn’t help the nerves. One of them stares up at him owlishly, a crust of snot around their nostril. Xavier takes a step away from them as well. His hands sweat, clammy and slick, as he shoves them into his pockets, along with his phone.

He’s waiting for that text. The ‘just landed’ text, but staring at his phone isn’t going to make it magically appear. Or make him less nervous.

Which he shouldn’t be—except, it’s just—it’s that he hasn’t seen Benji in two months. And Xavier thinks when he does see him again, right in front of him, physically present and not just a little image on his phone, he might lose his mind.

They figured out quickly that they don’t do long distance well. Benji had just kept Xavier after their first tour together ended; took him straight home with him, practically until their next one started up. So for a while, it almost didn’t even feel long distance—only this time, between Ratspit’s Summer tour and their Spring one, Xavier couldn’t just go to the UK. He had a downtown Boston apartment that needed rent paid every first of the month—he had bills. He had a job, off tour, that he needed to keep.

Sort of. He sat in a booth at night and watched security cameras for a museum. Walked through the long halls in semi darkness with a flashlight to make sure nothing was amiss. No little characters come to life, or cat burglars dropping from spotlights in the ceiling. Felt cinematic almost, cliche in a way that was sort of endearing. Wes Anderson like, until he had to sit there and stare at the clock and realize he was lonely.

Really, really lonely.

Not just for Benji; but he couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t…mostly for Benji. But the first year of touring with The Band had been, arguably, the best year of his life (was that sad?). Even when it was draining or stressful or frustrating—or he’d slammed his head on a concrete barrier and had to get stitches and now had a scar he could still run his fingers over. Xavier missed them. He missed Lark’s hovering concern, or Matilda’s gentle fingers brushing through his hair to trim off the sides.

Xavier missed being kissed at random times, when there was a spare moment. A small, stolen thing back stage (and Benji laughing against his lips as he had to walk backward to the starting line, drum sticks in his hands). He missed having to plug his ears and smile at Tino when the music was getting louder and louder and louder—and the older man smiling back at him (paternal, soft, kind). He missed eating an entire large pizza with Benny, Maran perched over his shoulder, darting for slices.

Xavier even missed Mouse—who messaged him frequently on Instagram, terrifying memes he couldn’t decipher. But that she sent them at all, the soft reminder that she was thinking of him, made his heart hurt anyway.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. The vibration feels loud and his hand’s weak and fumbling as he pulls it out. The screen is cracked in the corner, a winding splinter down the front. Benji stares at him from his lockscreen, his eyes crinkled mid laugh. His hair is wild and Xavier’s pale hand is pushing it back. He’d taken it on the tour bus, after show, when Benji was exhausted, but still offering him a grin. Would always save one for him, no matter how tired he was. It was a little blurry and the aspect ratio fit horribly on his phone—and he didn’t care. It was his favorite photo.

He looks at the notification, his chest feeling tighter and tighter. Somehow lighter.

Just landed.

—

All the anxiety seems to swell up inside his chest and pop when he sees Benji in the crowd.

His eyes don’t have to search hard to locate his boyfriend; not because Benji is obvious. Because he’s not. He’s in a faded, fraying hooded sweatshirt, his crazy waves of black hair sprouting out from underneath like little snakes, sunglasses on and headphones around his neck. To anyone else maybe he’d blend in with the rest of the sleepy crowd, not unique or special. Maybe nothing about him would stand out in sharp contrast, or everyone was just looking for their person. But to Xavier, his chest pulls in one heavy breath and his gaze swings slightly left and Benji is just there.

Magnetic pull.

Boston Logan International is deafeningly loud around them, throngs of people crowding together as happy families reunite, or businessmen dart through the crowd on cellphones, talking above the undercurrent buzz of noise. It feels distant to Xavier when he steps forward and his hand falls directly to Benji’s hip. It feels like being underwater, like waves keep crashing down on him, pulling him under somewhere. Airports have always felt liminal; awkward junctions between real places. Standing in front of Benji for the first time in so long, yeah. It doesn’t necessarily feel real. But it feels so right.

He watches Benji pull off the sunglasses and lean forward until his chin is touching Xavier’s sternum—and he stares up at him, with tired brown eyes that blink softly and slowly.

“Hi.”

“Holy shit, I missed you so much,” Xavier blathers out, his other hand cupping Benji’s cheek. His heart kickstarts with an aggressive thump when Benji leans into it, flutters his eyes closed and sighs out, long and slow. Xavier’s hand slips back behind the nape of his neck and then suddenly they’re hugging. Just hugging. No dramatic reunion kiss, slow motion in the middle of the airport, move scene worthy. He’s just got his arms around Benji, who loops his own around Xavier’s waist.

Xavier does sneak one poke of his nose into the wild mess of black hair hair, nuzzling until Benji laughs at him.

—

They do kiss on the elevator ride up to Xavier’s apartment, however. Long, slow, lazy kisses that keep making Benji sigh whenever their lips part. Xavier’s hands become possessive paws enclosed around Benji’s hips, height difference making him hunch. Sometimes, Benji will rise up on his toes, arms slung around Xavier’s shoulders, in an attempt to close that gap. But Xavier pushes him down, pushes him to the elevator wall instead and continues kissing, as if neither of them need air.

And they get distracted by the push and pull of each others bodies, the warm press of their mouths together, their tongues and constant roaming hands—because the elevator dings on Xavier’s floor. The doors open. Then close. It brings them right down to the lobby again and Xavier finally pulls away, panting as he slaps the number eight on the panel of buttons. Benji’s mouth touches under his jaw, a warm laugh tickling across his skin and making him feel buoyant. Lighter than air. In love.

When they do finally get out of the elevator, Xavier hefts one of Benji’s bags up over his shoulder. It isn’t everything—apparently some of it is getting shipped straight to Lark, who organizes the tour bus. But enough to carry him through the month (the entire thirty one days) they’ll have together. The significant weight of Benji’s clothes and personal items feels metaphorical almost, strap of the duffle bag straining down his shoulder a little.

“I have a surprise,” Xavier says, subconsciously tucking Benji’s hair behind his ears as he pauses outside his apartment door. He still looks jet lagged, sleep clinging to him in the slow way he blinks. But he looks content, if not tired. He looks dreamy and subdued, with a little tilt of a smile to his slightly kiss swollen lips. It makes Xavier feel like tearing into him, pushing him against the wall again and devouring him in more places than just the mouth. Instead he fishes out his keys and unlocks the door.

“M’gonna trip,” Benji weakly complains with a laugh as Xavier loops his hands around his eyes.

“No, no, I got you.”

They do that comical sort of dance into the apartment, moving together like a strange four legged beast as Benji’s hands touch Xavier’s forearms. The duffle bag drops from his shoulder and onto the floor and Xavier nudges it with a foot toward his couch. For a moment, he thinks to be self conscious of his place. It’s not big. It’s a downtown, one bedroom and he’s shoved all his things inside it haphazardly.

The coffee table has a gun magazine that he panics over, thinking he should have stowed somewhere. And there’s an embarrassing amount of rubber ducks across his entertainment center, no two the same design. His hockey gear should have been put away, but instead leans in a corner, because his closet has most of his winter things packed up, so he has no other place. It’s neat, at least, because he keeps things clean habitually, but it’s filled to the brim.

So, he really shouldn’t have bought the drum kit.

“Tada!” Xavier hops around Benji, dropping his hands and standing in front of it. The massive things been shoved into the awkward space between his bedroom and the tiny kitchen that doesn’t get much use. “I figured—if you’re here for a month, maybe you’d want to practice.” He settles down onto the stool, picking up drum sticks. “It’s not as satisfying as a real kit, but I couldn’t get anything loud. Apartment complex and all.” He twirls one of the sticks in his hand (just like how he’s seen Benji do a hundred times over), only to send it flying across the room.

“Uh, still learning.” Xavier’s cheeks go red hot as he tucks the other one back into place. But Benji is silent in a way that makes Xavier perk up like he’s being loud. He blinks a few times before inhaling sharply and standing.

“Oh. Oh—Benji,” he says softly, striding forward. His foot lands on the drum stick he’d just tossed and it rolls underneath his heel, sending him nearly careening backward with comical pinwheeling arms. Only Benji catches him by the shirt and immediately pulls him closer. Xavier makes a soft huff of a sound when their bodies crash together.

“Menace,” Benji sniffs, the tears making his eyes look glassy, but beautiful. His brows are upturned, pulled in, creating a little line that Xavier wants to kiss away. His hands come up, cup Benji’s cheeks how they always seem to do. He feels like he has no control over that gesture, like his body works on it’s own accord when this man is around him. It’s a dizzying feeling, like he’s swept into currents that are peaceful and warm and soothing. His thumb brushes a tear that manages to escape, wiping it away before Benji’s forehead tucks against his sternum.

He sniffs again, hard and Xavier smiles to himself as he kisses the top of Benji’s head.

—

When the pizza arrives, he has to run down and get it, because the buzzer to the apartment building never seems to work. Benji’s left on the couch, sprawled out with some shitty action movie playing in the background. Xavier has to be normal about the amount of glances he gives him before leaving—catching Benji smiling on the last quick look before he’s out. Xavier bounces on the heels of his sneakers the whole ride down, a smile pulling at his cheeks until he tries to tamper it down—just for it to spring back on anyway.

And he’s running on auto pilot a bit as he stops by the neighbor across from him. His scarred up knuckles rap slightly on the door and Mrs. Fisher answers with a plate already in hand. Her fat tabby cat winds in and out of her legs before winding in and out of Xavier’s as well, tail flicking across his calves. He bends slightly, doing a balancing act with the pizza to scratch the old cats head a little.

“My, my, Xavier,” Mrs. Fisher says in her tiny old lady voice. She blinks behind her giant rectangular glasses, smiling up at him. The cat makes a demanding sound that goes unanswered by her owner. “That’s a lot of pizza for just you.” She’s gesturing with the plate to the two boxes in his hands. He quickly sets them down on the ground (and the cat tries to get at it immediately, so he has to tuck her under an arm) and goes about opening one. He crouches, smiling up at her. As he kneels, she’s about the same height as him anyway.

“Uh, I have company actually.” She holds the plate out as he slips two slices onto it for her. The tabby meows again. Xavier tucks his knuckles to his jaw and smiles, feeling his cheeks go warm again, feeling that smile going too wide again. The cats tail smacks at his side. “My boyfriend is visiting.” The cat gets out of his arm and darts into the apartment, meowing on every stomp of her paws. As he slowly stands and picks up the two large pizzas Mrs. Fisher beams.

“No more lonely holidays for you!” She says, patting his arm with her tiny, wrinkled hand. “Does he cook? I’ll never have to make a Christmas casserole again.”

“You don’t have to do that to begin with, Mrs. Fisher.”

“And you don’t have to share your pizza with me,” she says, slowly tottering into her apartment. “But you do every time!” Xavier closes the door for her, the pizza boxes nearly upending before he catches them and stumbles back to his own apartment.

—

“Why am I not surprised that you’re the tallest one?” Benji taps a finger on glossy paper, snickering as Xavier leans to look. They sit (or lay, rather) on the couch, half tangled—satiated from the pizza and comfortably high from the joint that Xavier had pre-rolled hours before the plane had even landed. One of Benji’s legs splays across his lap, the other underneath. Xavier’s laying sideways, arms folded around his boyfriends thick torso, head against his bicep. He’s tucked comfortably between Benji’s body and the cushions, in a way that squeezes him soothingly.

The yearbook is propped up on Benji’s thigh, an embarrassing relic he’d managed to yank out of a box in his closet for no reason—other than he was high, both on marijuana and the intoxication of time alone with Benji. The picture in question has Xavier lined up with all the other wrestlers, but he is almost a head taller than his awkward, teenage peers. He’s also distractingly pale and his hair is more orange in the terrible early 2000’s photo.

“I was six-three by junior year,” Xavier says proudly, grinning toothily up at Benji. He turns a little and the yearbook slaps to the floor because no hands are holding it any longer. Both of Benji’s have found their way into his hair making his eyes roll close. They’d smoked hours ago, so it’s wearing down, but the body high feels comfortable. Benji’s fingers work softly and make him sigh.

“Thanks for letting me stay, Xavier.”

His eyes pop open and blink rapidly, brows digging in as he looks up from his awkward angle.

“What do you mean?” Benji laughs, air through the nose sort, not the real laugh Xavier loves getting from him. And Xavier is high so he might be wrong, but there’s some sort of self conscious set to Benji’s lips, his teeth tucking against his bottom lip. His eyes, glassy from the weed seem to skate off him and toward the drum kit and then back before he closes them and puts his hand on his forehead.

He doesn’t want Benji to answer then; to have to pull out words that might be difficult to find. Xavier inches his way up, pulling Benji’s body as he does until they’re even. Face to face at the very least. Xavier tucks his lips against Benji’s bearded jaw, giving it a soft peck. He works his way up, listening to the stutter in Benji’s breathing. Hands fist into his shirt as he moves those kisses back down instead, to his neck. Xavier kisses a little harder, little more part to his lips.

“Always gonna be a place for you, Benji.”

The hands in his shirt move into his hair than, tugging him. They kiss once more, pressed together on the couch. Xavier thinks of moving those kisses south, thinks of getting Benji’s belt off and zipper down. Thinks of ways he can say I want you with more than just words, but they keep kissing instead. They kiss and kiss, until they’re panting and they’re tired and Xavier has to pull away and whisper bedroom to get Benji just to move off the couch.

—

The next day, Xavier let’s Benji sleep in.

He wakes up earlier than he means to, because the sunlight catches his eyes, startles him to consciousness from the dream he’d been having. Sharing the bed puts him on the other side of the mattress, the side that’s usually empty (the side he’d been looking at, nightly, wondering if Benji would fit there, just for Benji to steal the portion of the bed Xavier usually sleeps on), so the part of his curtains lets a shard of sunlight hit him directly in the face at seven in the morning. And once he’s up, Xavier is just up.

So he cleans, because that keeps his hands busy. Not that the two of them had made any sort of mess of his apartment the night prior. Benji’s shoes are two separate areas of the living room, because he’d kicked them off. Xavier gathers them and chucks them next to his own by the door before he jogs over and puts them right. The pizza boxes get taken to the trash chute and the cups they’d used to drink from get put in the sink until he stares at them long enough he rinses and dries them. Xavier thinks to roll another joint until he wanders his way back into the bedroom.

Xavier realizes he doesn’t want weed or to clean, or to distract himself any longer with either of those. He wants to crawl back into the bed. Xavier wants to be with Benji so bad it feels like there’s a hook around his spine dragging him forward. But there’s also something so incredibly special about Benji asleep in his bed, that he doesn’t want to ruin it.

They’d not had sex last night; Benji had fallen asleep almost immediately once he was down on the mattress. Xavier had even helped him out of his jeans and shirt. Jet lag, or prolonged lack of sleep to begin with, or the weed. Or safety. Comfort. Love. Xavier’s brain blinks a few times, like someone is throwing the light switch on and off as he looks at Benji curled up. He sleeps like that if Xavier doesn’t intervene. A hand tucked under his cheek, the other arm around his torso. Knees raised, spine bent.

So Xavier gets into the bed again, determined. But careful, so he doesn’t wake the drummer. His side rises and falls in a beautiful, soothing rhythm. He wants to flatten his hand there, feel both the cadence of his breathing and his warm, brown skin. Instead he hovers a little, hands on either side of Benji’s unconscious form.

In the tender, vulnerable morning light that splashes across Xavier’s bed, across Xavier’s lover, he tries to recall ever feeling like this. It’s not that Benji is the first person he’s ever felt for. There have been others; but it’s like having a headache—and then not having a headache. Not being able to conjure the idea of pain without being in pain. Xavier can’t remember what love felt prior to this moment, prior to gently taking Benji’s shoulders and moving him so he’s flat on his back.

He can’t ever remember wanting someone as much as he wants Benji, though he must have, at some point. There must have been someone else he looked at and loved, with his whole heart beating through his chest. Pumping electrified blood through his veins. There must have been. There couldn’t have been. It’s just not possible that Xavier has ever felt this way before; he would remember. So it’s new—and a little terrifying. Like the peak of a roller coaster, or leaning out of a boat with his fingers skimming the water and his grandfather telling him to be careful. It is so scary and so exhilarating.

“Xavier?” Benji breathes in, voice sleep husky.

“Sh,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to Benji’s temple. He presses more down his cheek to his neck. “Sh,” he continues, his hands brushing up and down warm sides. He can feel the way they expand and contrast on a heavy, deep breath. Benji’s soft ‘mmnh’ in his sleep. His hand raises, slips tiredly across Xavier’s chest and then tucks itself underneath Benji’s chin. He watches his eyelids fluttering.

Xavier continues kissing.

He feels a spike of something that tastes like guilt. Something like worry, that he’s being soft and slow and deliberate, that he’s not trying to wake Benji up. That he likes looking at him, sleepy like this, likes kissing his collarbone and hearing a tired sigh. It’s not that Xavier wants Benji asleep—not that he’d ever cross some boundary, that clearly defined line that everyone recognizes. It’s just that Benji asleep feels so special, in a way that he can’t articulate.

Comfortable. Safe. Loved.

Xavier’s teeth touch the skin of Benji’s pectoral. He bites gently and feels his own moan winding through his throat. Unable to stop it, he half silences it by sealing his mouth there. Tongue appreciating the taste of Benji’s skin. The blankets rustle, hands touch his shoulders, fall down his forearms. Xavier doesn’t stop, sucks a mark there and continues on. His mouth moves until he presses a sweet, soft kiss to a nipple. Benji makes a sound then, a soft inhale.

“You’re so beautiful, Benji,” Xavier whispers, his warm breath pressed right against the other mans skin. His tongue flattens, touches Benji’s nipple. He wedges his knees to either side of Benji’s thighs as he continues, teasing bites. His other hand moves, up and down, up and down, a steady rhythm over Benji’s shivering side. Xavier’s open mouth and hot tongue travel once more, to the other neglected side.

He spares a glance to Benji, whose face has pinched with pleasure, but his eyes remain close. His chest draws in heavier, harder. Xavier drags his tongue up, memorizes the taste of Benji’s morning warmed skin.

“Do you know that?” The whispered reply is only Xavier’s name, softly spoken, barely a mumble. He presses another kiss to the corner of Benji’s mouth, subduing him. His legs cage him more, his hands brushing over Benji’s neck and down his shoulders. “Do you know you’re the most beautiful fucking person alive?” Benji’s arm slings around his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. His eyes blink open a few times so Xavier softly lays a hand across them. He kisses him, parts his lips with his tongue.

They kiss, with Xavier’s hand over Benji’s eyes, with Benji’s arm slung around Xavier’s shoulders, until they’re both breathing hard. And then Xavier is tearing away. He’s moving faster, hurried as his palm slaps at his beside table. He feels Benji’s lips on his chest, on his shoulder. No, stay asleep, he thinks wickedly, his breathing heavy and hard as he jerks open the drawer to the table. Sleep and let me make you feel good, wake up feeling good, wake up safe in my bed, feeling good. He blinks rapidly, drawing away and looking down.

Benji lays beneath him, a hand looped around the back of Xavier’s neck. His eyes are barely cracked open, brown pools that feel hypnotizing. Xavier could fall into them—keep falling. Just never fucking stop. He cups Benji’s cheek again, his thumb brushing over his lips until he parts them with the digit and feels Benji’s tongue touch his skin. He moans then, eyes falling shut as he leans forward.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he whispers.

“M’not awake,” Benji replies and Xavier’s spit slick thumb brushes out his mouth, down his chin. Benji’s eyes close again, his back arching up a little as he adjusts and gets comfortable. His head tilts back, bares his beautiful, brown throat. Xavier kisses there, hungrily, so it’s messy when he starts to lube fingers because he’s not even looking. Benji shivers when the cool liquid drips on his stomach, makes a throaty sort of laugh that has Xavier’s mouth going harder. There will be little bruises there, from his teeth and lips that will linger for days.

It becomes something languid then, something warm and unhurried. Xavier’s knee parts Benji’s easily, his hand between his thighs. He likes watching, but his eyes stay up inside, watch the graceful curve of Benji’s brows when he’s penetrated.

“I missed you,” he admits through the amber hued lethargic foreplay. Benji’s heavy breathing become pants, shallow and quicker than the movement of Xavier’s wrist and fingers. He makes a desperate and high sound when another finger joins the first and his body twists upward. Xavier merely uses his other hand to flatten him back down. “I thought about you every night.” He hears his name again, in that sleep soaked tone. Xavier’s lips travel across Benji’s chest again, leaving marks everywhere he can.

All at once, he pulls away—leaves Benji gasping, making a whining sound, like don’t go, but he can’t focus on that. Instead he grabs Benji by the hips and turns him over. He doesn’t mean to make it that fast, definitely not that rough, but Benji’s hands are reaching out, grabbing at a pillow. Xavier breathes heavy against the nape of Benji’s neck, his hands flexing and curling around his waist. He bites once more, and that whine is back in Benji’s voice.

“I want you,” Xavier manages to slur out, moving his teeth. He finds a shoulder blade, biting, and kissing again. He’s only barely managed to yank his own sweatpants down—barely even registered that he had.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Benji moans out, his voice muffled because he’s facing the pillow he’d grabbed. His body curves, inviting and beautiful. Xavier’s eyes drag down his spine, lower. His hand fists his own erection, his body shivering at the sensation of lube and skin. “Give—fuck—I want it, Xavier.”

His name is almost cut off because Xavier gives it then—a shallow thrust, a slow start. It makes Benji’s head snap backward, his back arching more. Xavier’s hand flattens down his spine, his face burying into Benji’s hair. He murmurs something loving, something soft and barely there as his hips thrust forward again, as he feels Benji’s body. He cuts his own words in half with a moan and then a throaty laugh. Both is fists brace onto the bed on either side of Benji as he lays there, on his stomach, prone and under Xavier.

And that starts slow too, just as the foreplay had. Starts with Xavier rolling his body forward and Benji bracing back. Every thrust gets him deeper, makes Benji’s legs splay further, accepting. His arms stay wrapped around a pillow, face into the fabric as Xavier continues. His own face stays buried into those dark curls, his breathing harder. It stays that way for a minute, until Benji turns his face to the side. And the mere glimpse of one of his eyes, rolling slightly from the sensation of Xavier fucking deeper makes it hard to stay fucking sane.

I want to see more, he thinks, the only rational thought he can manage when his hand sinks into Benji’s hair. Maybe he means to continue slow, or for it to be romantic—soft? Instead, his hand jerks Benji’s head back, elicits a loud whimper that practically echoes in his bedroom. His fingers curl, tighten to hold his head still so he can look at Benji’s face. The way his jaw drops, his eyes roll up and close, squeeze shut. Xavier’s body bucks forward at the mere sight of that pleasure and Benji whimpers again. His hands slap against the wall. Xavier realizes all of his weight is pressed down, trapping Benji on the bed.

Something possesses him then. The overwhelming need for more. More whimpers, more moans, more of Benji’s body, more pleasure for them both. He pulls, ever so slightly and Benji makes another harsh, high sound, his head falling back. His eyes blink open, pupils dilated and big. Wet. He can see tears gathering on his pretty black lashes. More. The hand in his hand moves. Both do. They capture of Benji’s that were flat on the wall.

He adjusts so that both their arms are under Benji, completely enclosing around him. His chin to Benji’s shoulder, his body continuing a harder thrust. Deeper. More and more. Every inch he can give. Benji’s head falls forward, resting on Xavier’s forearm as he continues.

“Benji,” he moans it, or it’s a growl really. Something dark and obscene and hungry inside him is driving him forward. “Tell me it feels good,” he continues. His nose touches behind Benji’s ear. His teeth touch there too. The sounds from his thighs clapping against the back of Benji’s almost drown his words out, so Xavier asks again, asks directly into Benji’s ear—tells, rather. Tell me.

“Yes,” Benji gasps out wetly. His head tilts back then, falls against Xavier’s shoulder. “Oh fuck,” he continues. Dissolves into less words and more moans, but it makes Xavier’s adjust again.

“Harder?”

“Yes, yes—harder—”

So he braces up and puts his hands to Benji’s lower back. He looks at the beautiful body sprawled underneath him. The way Benji’s back muscles flex as he’s being fucked, the sensual curve of his biceps, the slowly darkening hickie he’d left on his side. All his tattoos and dark body hair. Xavier’s thumbs brush along as his hands curl around his middle. Harder. He’s blinking sweat from his eyes as he watches Benji bite into the pillow—all thoughts seem to blink out of existence then.

But he does fuck harder. Brutally so, savage jerks of Benji’s body back and forth as his own hips drill forward. The sounds get louder then, from both of them. The bed slaps against the wall with the movement, because Xavier’s strength seems unbound. He’s unraveled at the seams and can’t hold back. And Benji’s loud encouraging moans only make it easier for him to continue. Waves of pleasure, from how tight and warm and good Benji feels make him toss himself forward.

Xavier gasps as the feeling punches through his chest. He slumps forward with his head between Benji’s shoulders. His body throbs, a warm feeling draining through all his limbs. His eyes flutter shut as he pumps into Benji, as his thrusts run slow. His hand goes into Benji’s hair again, softer now. Holding, curling through strands of hair as he pants. The sweat slicked body beneath him trembles, little shivers. So Xavier’s other arm slips up underneath him, to hold them together. He feels the tacky sensation of Benji’s cum on his stomach but doesn’t mind.

Their labored breathing becomes the only sound as they lay there.

Benji’s face stays to the pillow, so Xavier gently moves his hand around, cups his chin and turns it. There’s tear stains across his cheeks, brown eyes partly closed, a vulnerable tilt to his eyebrows. Xavier moves forward and kisses them, moving their bodies. He listens to Benji groan a little as they part, as he slides so their stomachs are pressed together, laid on their sides. Benji’s hand braces against Xavier’s sternum. He absently begins tucking back his hair and that vulnerable look smooths into something content, still tired.

“Sorry for waking you up,” Xavier whispers.

“Helluva fuckin’ way,” Benji replies, his lips tilted into an almost shy smile. Xavier practically has to ignore it, because he could go again if Benji makes an expression like that. He could fold him right over and go again. Instead, Benji blinks a few times then frowns. “What time is it?”

“Little past noon.”

“You let me sleep too late,” Benji snaps, burrowing closer, with a slight glare to his blown out, pleasure dilated eyes. Sweat has made his hair flatten slightly, little S curls of black hair sticking to his temple. Those pretty dark lashes still have a few wet tears that Xavier brushes at with a thumb. “Only got thirty days left now.” His heart beat swells up and then goes funky, a little stutter that threatens to really hurt him as his palm folds around Benji’s cheek.

“You’re counting days?”

Benji moves until his head is under Xavier’s chin, their legs sliding against one another. He huffs out a sound, a hand resting on the red heads hip. His thumb presses a little into soft, pale skin there and makes Xavier shudder.

“I missed you too,” Benji says then, his breath tickling Xavier’s collarbone.

—

Despite Benji’s grumbling, they actually do sleep more. They stay tucked together, spooning chest to chest, as the morning light turns to mid afternoon orange glow. Every time Xavier’s eyes flutter open, he’s greeted with curly black hair, or Benji’s face tilted slightly away. The relaxation is what had made him feel so…wild.

The nature of their relationship was accidentally frantic. Benji’s lifestyle was, inherently chaotic. The constant traveling, the back breaking shows that made him exhausted, drained. The time apart, that couldn’t really be solved. Their first year of dating had been a revolving door of snatching time together when they could between shows, when they could be alone. If they could even be alone.

So it wasn’t that Benji was sleeping, or that he was tired—though he looked unforgivably cute when he was. It was just that he was at ease. Calm. Comfortable. Safe. Fucking loved enough to pass out the second he touched a mattress.

When they do wake up, they don’t go out. They order in again, after a long shower that washes off all their sticky residue. Xavier makes jokes of it as he brushes his teeth while Benji puts his shampoo and conditioner into the shower stall. He stares at those bottles, feels a little empty headed thinking about them there.

“It’s not a waste of a day,” Xavier comments idly as he sits on the floor between Benji’s knees. They’ve tossed on something to play in the background, while Benji’s fingers move deftly through red hair. He’s putting braids here and there, in no design or fashion forward way. It’s just something soothing that is making Xavier feel jellied and content. “If you’re—I mean. Just having you here. Not doing anything. I kind of wish we could do that more.”

Benji is quiet for a moment, the terrible movie in the background not loud enough to cover up his small inhale. His fingers move until they’re under Xavier’s jaw and they tilt his head back. He blinks up at Benji, upside down.

“Yeah, me too, Xavier,” he says. It feels heavier than it should, but before he can ask about it—what do you mean, are you okay, are you getting tired, is touring took much, sometimes you look so exhausted you might faint—the buzzer on his door crackles to life. The food’s arrived. Xavier sits there, looking up at Benji until the drummer smiles and leans down to press a kiss.

“Introduce me to Mrs. Fisher, yeah?”

“Oh, man. You’re gonna love her.”

—

He coaxes Benji into sleeping on the train too. He lays across Xavier’s lap, hands tucked under his cheek. Xavier’s fingers make a constant gentle massage through his dark curls as he watches the scenery blur by. The months over—so they’re meeting Lark and the bus in New York. The dark circles that once seemed permanent under Benji’s eyes have lightened enough that it almost worries Xavier. Like, they don’t have to be there all the time. Benji could sleep as much as he’d like, if he was encouraged into it.

Not that encouragement cures insomnia, but sometimes, it seemed like Benji just needed someone to kiss him; remind him, that letting go and relaxing was fine.

The ticket master slaps the door open and even that rudely loud noise doesn’t disturb Benji. Xavier, used to ticket masters, holds his out and gets them inspected quick enough.

For some reason his day dreams on the train ride have been unusual. He looks forward to the tour—looks forward to getting out of his shitty graveyard security position. Misses Matilda and even Benny. Secretly misses Tino the most—aside from Lark of course. But, before, when he’d think of tour and all the excitement, he’d day dream of all those little glimpses of time with Benji. The stolen hours when they’d wedge into the same cot. When Benji would steal him backstage for a quick kiss, where no one could see them.

Feeling Benji’s boot on his shoulder, shoving playfully at him while they arrange the stage and he stands there, to look menacing at Ratspit fans.

Xavier daydreams about the beach for some reason. About swimming in open, salty water. He thinks of how Benji would look, bobbing along in the waves. Under the sun. He thinks about laying on the pale, burning sand. He daydreams about drinking orange juice while Benji makes his tea—he’d even bought an electric kettle just for him to use. He daydreams about holding hands—something simple, maybe even dumb. He tucks self consciously around Benji’s sleeping form.

Feels a little guilty, because, dating Benji sort of meant dating this kind of lifestyle. This four hour train ride alone, is the longest stretch of time they’ll have together once tour starts again.

And Xavier let’s Benji sleep. Because it’s not a waste, for him to relax. For him to be comfortable. His throat bobs and his lips touch Benji’s temple, his eyes closed. It’s not a waste.

[glowdrama]

❥Like or reblog if you save

❥Glowdrama on instagram 💕

[dramasboutique]

please like or reblog if you save/ use <3

one spring night wallpapers

[a-moth-to-the-light]

random questions <3

thank you @yvesbuprofen for the tag !!

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color - sage green :) my fave was pink until about a year ago, though, and pink is still my favorite color to wear, since i don't think sage green suits me very well!

: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for - an ex-friend made me my first tumblr blog in... early 2021, i think! i don't use that blog anymore, but then in spring of 2022 i made this blog and i've been using it pretty consistently since then!

: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to - i like consistency & going to the same places over and over again, so i dream a lot of going back to new york city! i went twice in middle school and i remember the city very fondly. it's overstimulating in the best way possible for my brain --i love the lights and colors and the way there are people all around, but you don't actually have to socialize!

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s) - i also thrift !! i don't buy a lot of new clothes, but when i thrift i mostly look for skirts that look like a grandma's wallpaper, and then outside of that i'm not sure my style has any patterns to it. it's just whatever catches my eye & feels comfy/good texture, and it's only united in that it's as chaotic as my personality is (fun fact i am that stereotypical human-tornado kind of personality) (that may not actually be a surprise considering what my blog is like)

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s) - bruce springsteen & alba reche are tied for my number one!!!!!! i usually say bruce springsteen wins, since he just has so much more music (he's been releasing albums for decades, and alba reche's debut album was released in 2019), but really they're tied in my heart. my favorite kpop group is stayc!

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen - a picture taken from my car at night, of the side of a road + a sign that says 'speed limit 14'. we ran across it this summer, and my brother thought it was hilarious that the limit was such a specific & unusual number, so we took a picture! now i have it because it's funny + strangely aesthetic (driving at night is my favorite aesthetic, actually, the brave girls "after we ride" mv gets me like no one else does)

: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation - purplekiss!! halloween + their latest comeback really got me back into their music (yet again) and i've been thinking about it all the time :) "encore" and "pretty psycho" and "sweet juice" and oh my godd their aesthetics are just so well-done!!

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status - single! i'm constantly in love, though, having crushes is a major hobby for me. i thought that would go away once i started spending more time on other hobbies and coping better in general, but no i'm just like this, apparently!

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job - teaching english literature & writing theoretical articles on education as a field :)

: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app - youtube! i don't make videos or anything, but i just love being on it :)

: ̗̀➛ do u have pets - at my family home, yes!

: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many - a cat and a dog! my dream is to get a snake, once i fully move out of my family home (my mom refuses to have a snake in the house)

: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee - tea!! i love tea, and i actually don't drink coffee at all!

: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor - chocolate w/ fudge or peanuts or anything more solid in it! i need chewy things in my ice cream or the texture feels WRONG

: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts - i'll just say anyone who wants to !! i really wanna hear about y'all's hyperfixations :)

random questions<3

my beloved @moonshapedbox tagged me in this <3

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav color - big fan of green!

: ̗̀➛ how long have u been on tumblr for - probably twelve years, I got into it because a girl I liked had one, and I wanted for us to have something in common lmao

: ̗̀➛ wheres a place u always wanted to travel to - brazil, I think it's such an interesting country, and I love the climate, and china, because I want to try all the yummy food, and go see the northern plains.

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav clothing brand(s) I mostly just thrift my clothes, but I love sketcher sneakers, they are so comfy.

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur fav singer/band(s) I'm a big fan of loona as most of you have seen and ichiko is up there at the top with them.

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur current phone lockscreen - it's a forest, and on my table it's that iconic photo of yves with the loop t-shirt.

: ̗̀➛ most recent/current hyperfixation - I'm currently compulsively reading saw 2004 fic, oughh the angst it's too good 🙂‍↕️

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur relationship status - very single, and just existing tbh, idgaf about having a relationship rn, I have radioactive levels of trauma I have to go through just to feel safe enough to get into one.

: ̗̀➛ what’s ur dream job - probably any kind of job where I don't have to talk to people (goes into teaching like an idiot)

: ̗̀➛ outside of tumblr, fav social app pinterest and spotify !! I'm really into neko atsume 2 rn

: ̗̀➛ do u have pets - nope, I live with my parents and they don't like animals :( I would like to have some kind of bug if I could though

: ̗̀➛ if u do have pets, what kind/how many - none

: ̗̀➛ do u prefer tea or coffee - big fan of tea, any kind, give it to me, I also drink lots of mate 🧉<3

: ̗̀➛ whats ur fav ice cream flavor - pistachio, since I was a child, I tried it because it was green lol

: ̗̀➛ tag at least three other tumblr accounts @sleep-tight-pupper @daerly-beloved @a-moth-to-the-light @kdramamilfs ! no pressure babes <3

[rkshotsss]

One Spring Night (2019)

Don't be mean to your children y'all !

[theqvarrys]

⪧ ryan erzahler as your boyfriend: a summary. ❜

dating ryan would be super fun if you’re into true crimes, supernatural podcasts and horror movies. that man is a real encyclopedia and could spend hours talking about those things if you’re willing to listen: even better if you’re also taking part in the conversation. after all, he’s an introvert, so if you don’t share the same passions and hobbies… it’s probably a huge no from him (especially if you don’t understand his sarcasm).

ryan is the quiet type and would rather spend the entire evening in his bed with you in his arms, watching a good movie, rather than partying in some random house filled with strangers. he’s also one to enjoy peaceful strolls at night when everyone is sleeping.

if he’s sometimes struggling with his words to tell you how much he loves you, he will always make up for it in various ways. in spring, you can expect him to set up a mini private drive in for the both of you, the boot of his car filled with blankets and pillows, your favorite dinner right in the middle, and a huge white sheet attached to two trees so the movie could play.

his favorite thing is to kiss you randomly: the tip of your nose, your forehead, your shoulder or the back of your hand. you don’t even know why, but it wouldn’t be ryan if there wasn’t some kind of mystery around him.

it’s not a secret for anyone, but ryan is hilariously funny: and he’s not even trying, it’s just a natural thing. at first it was just a personality trait, then it became some kind of competition to make you laugh as much as he could, your laugh like a melody to his ears.

is he super in love when he dates? the answer is yes. you’re the lockscreen of his phone and his laptop. he’s wearing the chain you gifted him for christmas. he answers to your texts in less than thirty seconds. if you need him, he’ll be there faster than the flash itself. ryan sure isn’t good with words, but he knows how to make you feel loved in his own way.

[sunnyhyu]

Mark Masterlist

[16:54] super soft

[dude, but like romantically] 10k words, college au, f2l, roomates, fluff, comedy 🧸

[09:26pm] “am i really your boyfriend, y/n?”

[1:01am] mark in the studio, cuddles, lap sitting (?) 🧸

[22:29 | Idiot] f2l, college au, drinking and making out

[spring in osaka] f2l, suggestive, heavy makeout, bedroom sharing 🧸

[09:55] fluff, suggestive, sunday mornings, morning after

[8:34 am] fluff, waking up together

[christmas morning] dad mark, christmas with kids, husband mark, fluff

[HURT] drabble, cute dad mark, mark with baby, fluff 🧸

[doll] “you know how much you make me feel special” drabble, stealing his clothes

[college student!mark] waiting for you, hugs, fluff

[12:56 pm] dad mark, saying goodbye at the airport, fluff, little angst

[1:45 am ♡︎ promise] fluff, confessing i love you, very soft 🧸

[11:46 pm] fluff, stargazing, first kiss

[12:24am] dad mark, visiting mark at the studio, uncle nct

[with you] kinda f2l, college au, super cute, cherry blossoms    

[am i your lockscreen?] boyfriend and idol mark, cute memory with mark

[shower thoughts] mark is tired and just wants to be comforted, super soft, i cried 🧸

[home] fluff fluff omf im gonna vomit, where is mine, im crying, cute and wholesome, domestic, mark treats reader because he loves her, dinner and wine, reader’s home is marks home 🧸

[surface pressure] fluff, reassurance, reader is super selfless, mark takes care of her for the day, domestic 🧸

[1:58pm] fluff, super cute, counting kisses 🧸

[sunflower] oneshot, fluff, college au, sweet mark 🧸

[lights out] fluff, hurt/comfort, comforting mark

[still here] best friends to lovers, allusions to smut, but nothing too crazy, best friends to lovers, kinda one night stand, fluff, angst, beautifully written, making out 

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

A/N: hi lovely people! i hope you are all having a great day! drink some water! love you all!

Masterlist

Chapter 13

Spencer got a call from you one morning when he was leaving his apartment to pick Jo up for school.

“Spencer,” your voice sounded deeper than normal.

“I’m sick,” you groaned.

“Aw, I’m sorry. What are your symptoms?” he asked.

“Stuffy nose, fever, headache, and a sore throat,” you sniffled.

“Could you take Jo for the weekend after you pick her up today? I don’t want her getting infected too.”

“Of course, do you need me to get you anything?” he asked.

“No thanks, you’re sweet but I’m fine. Stay away from my room, germaphobe,” you giggled slightly.

“You’re going to have to get Jo all ready for school. I just knocked on her door to wake her up. I didn’t want to take any chances,” you informed him.

“Okay, feel better, sweetheart,” Spencer said.

You made a kissing sound through the phone before hanging up, presumably to go back to bed.

-

Spencer walked inside to find Jo sitting in front of the TV.

“Mommy isn’t coming out of her room,” she stated.

“I know, she’s sick so she is protecting us from all the icky germs. You are going to spend the weekend at Daddy’s place,” he picked Jo up, bringing her into the kitchen and pouring her a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

“Eat up,” he said, pushing the bowl in front of her after adding milk and a spoon, “then Daddy is going to do your hair before we go.”

While Jo ate, Spencer packed her lunch and wrote a little note:

The word ‘dinosaur’ means ‘terrible lizard’ in Greek. See you later, Princess! Eat all of your cucumber slices!

Love,

Daddy

He sketched a little heart doodle to finish off the note, folding it and slipping it into Jo’s lunch box.

Spencer called Hotch as he was carrying Jo out to the car.

“Hey, Hotch. Can I have the day off?” he asked.

“Sure, Reid. You have plenty of sick days saved up. Is everything alright?”

“Y/N is sick so I’ve got Jo for the weekend and I want to clean up my apartment and do some grocery shopping beforehand,” Spencer explained, the phone pressed between his shoulder and ear as he buckled Jo in.

“Alright, see you Monday, Reid. Tell Jo I say hi,” he said.

“Will do,” Spencer hung up the phone.

“Uncle Aaron says hi,” he said to Jo.

“Hi Uncle Aaron!” Jo exclaimed even though the phone call had already ended.

-

After dropping Jo off, Spencer drove to the grocery store.

He picked up some snacks and food to replenish his empty cabinets so Jo wouldn’t starve at his apartment. He was going to attempt to make them spaghetti and meatballs for dinner but he picked up a bag of dino nuggets as a backup.

On the way home to his apartment, he stopped back at your house and walked inside, calling your phone as he set grocery bags down on the kitchen counter.

“Hey, I’m back. I know you said to stay away but I wanted to drop off a few things,” Spencer put the phone on speaker as he began to put away the groceries, “I got you some oranges because their vitamin C will help your immune system. I got you popsicles and ice cream to help with your fever and sore throat. I also got you some more tea and soup. And, I picked up some spring rolls for you that you can reheat whenever you are hungry.”

“You are the best. Thank you, Spence,” you sleepily replied.

“I don’t know what medicine you have been taking so far but after examining the ingredients of different over-the counter medicines in the pharmacy aisle, I found two that I think will work best to fend off your symptoms if taken together,” Spencer said, walking upstairs.

“I’m leaving them both outside your door with a glass of water,” he knelt down to place the pill bottles and water on the ground.

“If I’m up for it later, can I facetime you and Jo?” you asked hopefully.

“I will figure out how to use that just for you,” Spencer smiled.

“Just swipe to accept it like a normal phone call except then I will be able to see both of your beautiful little faces,” you giggled.

“Okay, try to get some rest, drink lots of water, and try to eat something if you can,” Spencer encouraged.

“See you later, Spence.”

-

After spending the rest of the day cleaning his apartment and putting away stacks of books that were on the floor so Jo wouldn’t trip, Spencer went to go pick her up.

“Here, Daddy,” she handed him a purple piece of paper with lots of glitter glue on it as she came running out of the classroom into his awaiting arms.

“Another Jo original?” he beamed, “Is this me, you, and Mommy again?”

Jo nodded, “We need one for your fridge too.”

“How thoughtful,” Spencer lifted the girl up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I went back home to check on Mommy and I packed you a bag of clothes and your favorite toys so you should be all set for the weekend but we can go back if we need to,” he explained to Jo as he carried her out to the car.

-

Spencer had managed to make him and Jo spaghetti even though it was just from a box. He even asked Rossi for his meatball recipe and made those from scratch. Jo cleared her plate so she seemed to enjoy the meal or she was just sparing her Daddy’s feelings.

They were watching a National Geographic dinosaur documentary when your contact photo came up on Spencer’s phone screen. It was a picture of you that he had insisted on taking on your date because you “looked too beautiful to not admire forever in photo form”. His phone lockscreen had also been changed from just a generic scenic landscape photo to a picture that Penelope had taken of you, Spencer, and Jo at Rossi’s party.

Spencer held the phone up and swiped accept.

“Hi!” you smiled, waving through the phone, you were still laying in bed.

“Mommy!” Jo exclaimed, standing up on the couch and sitting in Spencer’s lap to see better.

“Hi, Baby J! How is Daddy’s place?” you asked.

“Good! We had spaghetti and meatballs and now we are watching a dinosaur show and Daddy bought oreos,” Jo giggled, holding up a half-eaten cookie with crumbs on her face.

“Wow he’s really spoiling you,” you laughed, “Daddy brought me spring rolls and they are helping me get all better,” you smiled, taking a bite of one of them.

“Glad you are feeling better, sweetheart,” Spencer grinned.

“I’ll give it another day but you and Jo may be able to come back on Sunday after I disinfect everything,” you replied.

“Jo, say bye bye to Mommy so she can finish her dinner and go to bed,” Spencer prompted her.

“Night night, Mommy. Love you,” she waved at the camera, blowing a kiss.

“Bye Jo. Love you too! Be good for Daddy!” you waved back, “Night, Spence.”

“Good night, Y/N,” Spencer smiled, ending the call.

Twenty minutes later, Jo was out cold in Spencer’s lap, cuddled into his chest. Spencer smiled softly, picking her up and bringing her to his bed.

“Sweet dreams, Jo,” he whispered, giving her his usual goodnight kiss on the forehead.

[whipplefilter]

I was tagged (UHHHHH A WEEK AGO--I'm sorry!) by @jushiro-ukitake for lock screen/last song listened to/last picture saved. Thank you! <3

Lockscreen: A tree in Portland, OR, which I took a picture of on the last day of an Executive Board Strategic Planning retreat on March 1, 2020. I was extremely stressed out and very upset, which was not at all reflected in these spring blooms. 10 days later my home state issued its Shelter in Place order, which was.... more accurate to the prevailing mood (also not something that Strategic Plan fully took into account, I will say, lol). A joyous collection of memories to commemorate on a lock screen!

(Actually I just like the composition of the shot and the original photo isn't saved anywhere, so it ONLY exists as a lockscreen, unfortunately. And I never change these things. My last lockscreen was from 2012.)

Last Picture Saved: A Snapchat from my sister, of her sleepy dog. 🥰

Last Song Listened: I'm not sure. Literally speaking, it was one of the ED's for the bicycle anime, Yowamushi Pedal, which is what we watched last night. As far as "music listened to on purpose," the closest I can get is This is War by Gawne, Tech N9ne, and Atlus. Usually I choose my song of the moment and let YT Music's algorithm take it from there, and this is my current starting point. Love this song!

[iam93percentstardust]

If you’re still taking prompt, could you please write something with Steve loving Tony’s big doe expressive eyes, plus him giving tony lots of slow deep kisses and maybe a comforting talk bc Tony’s anxious about something? 🥺

Sure thing! Hope you like it!

(Thank you to @therollingstonys for helping me brainstorm and, as always, this fic can be found on my ao3)

~

Tony is already in bed by the time Steve comes up. Their room is dark, even the windows shaded to block out most of the light coming in from the city, and it takes Steve a moment to realize that the dark mass huddled under the blankets is, in fact, his wayward husband. He sighs softly and runs his hand through his hair, thinking of the dinner he’d prepared for the two of them that had sat out for an hour before he’d finally decided Tony wasn’t going to join him. He doesn’t know why he’d expected otherwise. He knows how Tony gets the night before something big and Tony’s been withdrawing from him for the last couple of days; he should have seen this coming.

“So this is where you’ve been all day,” he says quietly. Tony shifts but doesn’t move out from under the blankets. “JARVIS, lights to 15%.”

JARVIS obligingly turns the lights up, raising them just enough that Steve doesn’t have to strain his eyes in the dark. Tony doesn’t protest the change, which is a good sign. It means that he’s stressed and anxious but he’s not actively trying to hide away.

Steve crosses the room, shedding clothes as he goes so that he’s down to only his boxers by the time he reaches the bed. He climbs up and stretches out over Tony’s body, hovering above him on his hands and knees. From his vantage point, he can see the tiny tuft of hair that’s sticking out from the blankets but that’s it.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “You wanna talk about it?”

Tony makes a dissenting noise and the blankets shift, like he’s shaking his head.

“Can I at least see you?”

Another dissenting noise.

“Come on,” he cajoles. “Can’t I see those beautiful brown eyes?”

“No,” comes the grumbled reply.

He bites back a smile. Wouldn’t do to look amused when Tony’s clearly so distressed. “Are you sure? I haven’t gotten to see them all day,” he asks instead, voice low and teasing, devoid of anything that Tony might take as disapproval. If Steve is right about what’s going through Tony’s head right now—and he’s pretty sure he is—he needs to be very careful about what he says.

It takes a moment but Tony eventually shifts enough that his entire head is poking out from under the blankets. He looks exhausted, worn out from stress and worry, and there are deep shadows under those brown eyes he loves so much, but he’s still the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

“There they are.” He smiles fondly at his husband and leans down to kiss him. It’s meant to be a quick, reassuring thing, but as so often happens, he gets caught up in the feel of Tony’s lips against his, how he tastes, how perfect he looks in that single moment before his eyes flutter closed, and Steve finds himself drawing the kiss out into something slow and lingering.

When he eventually pulls away, Tony’s eyes are dazed and slightly out of focus. Steve can’t resist leaning back down again and brushing a kiss over Tony’s right eyebrow. Tony’s eyes slip closed again as he sighs and Steve kisses each trembling eyelid before pulling back.

“What’s got you so worked up, hmm, sweetheart?” Steve asks.

Tony wiggles out from under the sheets just a little more, enough so that his whole head and the tops of his shoulders are uncovered. “I—” he begins and then bites his lip.

Steve thinks he knows what this is all about and he thinks Tony might be feeling too seen already to admit what’s going on in that big brain of his. He rolls off of Tony, onto his side, and slides under the covers, tucking himself up against his husband’s side, who rolls over to face him. Steve shifts them so that Tony’s leg is thrown over his hip, his head tucked under Steve’s chin, into his chest. He can’t see Tony’s face like this—he’s already missing the sight—but he thinks Tony feels like he needs to hide so he can be open as he should be.

“Better?” he asks.

Tony nods, his beard scratching on Steve’s naked chest.

“So is this about tomorrow then?”

Tony nods again, voice muffled when he says, “I’m going to be a horrible father.”

“You’re not,” Steve says, even though he knows it’s a platitude that barely even makes a dent in Tony’s lack of self-worth. He just can’t stop himself. He hates hearing Tony put himself down like this.

“I am,” Tony says matter-of-factly. “I’m going to be just like Howard and I’m going to ruin this child.”

Steve bites back a sigh—Tony would take it the wrong way right now—and instead presses a kiss to Tony’s hair. “You’re not going to ruin them.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

Because for one thing, I’ll be right here to help you raise them, which puts me ahead of Maria for one, he thinks. But he knows better than to voice that opinion out loud. He doesn’t know why Tony is so insistent on idolizing his mother, who was so frequently absentee, except that she was slightly more loving than Howard had been. And to Tony, so very attention-starved as a child, even slightly was better than nothing.

“Because you’re already thinking about them,” he says. “You’re already worried about how you’re going to take care of them, planning contingencies for every little thing that could possibly go wrong. Parents like Howard don’t do that.”

Tony is quiet for long enough that Steve lifts his chin up and kisses him again, trying to soothe away Tony’s anxieties with every sweep of his tongue. Tony’s arms slide around his waist, clinging to him as he kisses back. Time slides by as they kiss, minutes, hours, who knows? All that matters is the feeling of Tony’s body against his, the taste of his tongue in his mouth.

“This could go so badly wrong,” Tony whispers when he finally pulls away.

Steve tells himself it’s pointless to mourn the loss of Tony’s kiss and points out, “Sweetheart, that would be true even if we were the best parents in the world and had successfully raised five other kids.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Steve interrupts firmly. “You’re not alone. I’m here right by your side. Pepper and Rhodey are here with you. Nat, Bucky and Clint—oh wait, maybe we shouldn’t count Clint.”

To his relief, Tony laughs, tucking his head back under Steve’s chin as he shakes. Steve smiles and brushes another kiss over Tony’s hair, holding him as close as he can. He wishes they could be like this forever, but at the same time, he’s so excited for what tomorrow will bring.

“I just don’t want to mess this up,” Tony admits once he’s stopped laughing.

“That’s what parenting is,” Steve says softly. He’s just as terrified of getting it wrong as Tony is, but he knows that there’s no one way to get it right. “We’ll make mistakes, but we’ll do it together and hey, I think between the two of us, we’ll manage to raise a pretty decent kid. If they’re even a tiny bit like you, I know we’ll have done a great job.”

“Or like you.”

“Oh no, definitely not. I pick way too many fights.”

“But for all the right reasons.”

“That’s not what Bucky says.”

“That’s because you keep dragging Bucky into your fights.”

“That sounds like a him problem.”

“It wouldn’t be if you would just pick your battles.”

“I have picked them,” Steve argues. “I’ve picked all of them.”

Tony laughs again and raises his head to peck Steve on the lips. “Okay you’re right. I hope mini-Stark doesn’t turn out anything like you.”

“I hope they’re just like you,” Steve says, smiling down at him. He’s so lucky. Not everyone gets to spend their life with the person they love more than anything, but Steve not only gets to have Tony but their child as well. “Beautiful and generous and too smart for their own good.” He can see the argument forming on Tony’s face so he quickly adds, “Did Pepper ever decide what she wanted for her present for being our surrogate?”

Tony groans. “Jimmy Choo’s entire spring line.”

Steve winces. “Sounds expensive.”

“Good thing you married a billionaire then, isn’t it?”

He shakes his head. “Good thing I married you.”

Tony’s smile is soft and sweet. “Everything changes tomorrow, doesn’t it?”

“For the better,” Steve promises.

This time, Tony just nods and says, “Yeah,” instead of arguing. Then his smile turns a little coy. “Last night we’ll have to ourselves for a very long time. We should make the most of it.”

Steve grins and takes the hint, leaning in to kiss him again.

~

He comes home from his run a week later to find Tony asleep on the couch, a newborn Morgan Stark-Rogers also asleep on his chest. Tony’s hand rests on her back, keeping her safe against him. Steve smiles at the sight, a wave of affection for the two most important people in his life washing over him. He pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of the two of them together, setting it as his new lockscreen. Tony will have another anxiety attack eventually and when that happens, he’ll pull this picture out and show it to him.

Tony thinks he won’t be a good parent.

Steve looks at him and knows he already is.

They’re going to be just fine.

[football-writing]

Mason Mount - Always

Prompt: I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then

Summary: Mason and Y/N have been in love forever. It takes a graduation dinner for him to finally come clean about his feelings.

Warnings: friends to lovers aye, mentions of graduation, some tears were shed but it's all good! Also very little dialogue bc i wanted to try something different :)

If someone asked him how long he's been in love with her, he wouldn't know what to tell them. It had developed gradually, really.

First they were friends, meeting for the first time as she got transferred to his school. She'd been quite the character. On the frist day she was there, she'd asked the boys if she could play football with them. They said no girls were allowed, so she stole the ball from one of Mason's friends, dribbled around two other boys and kicked the ball right between the legs of the goalie. He'd admired her then, her cheekiness bringing a boyish grin to his face, and they easily hit it off. She would never allow him to go easy on her, although she would sometimes get in a mood when he'd win for the twentieth time that day. He'd cheer her up and ask her to play at his house, playing boardgames and watching cartoons as they chatted amongst themselves every schoolday.

She'd slowly grown out of playing football with him; clearly they were on different levels entirely nowadays. Still, they remained close friends. He'd gone off to London, then, and it was hard at first. But they would call all the time (he hated phonecalls, but she said she preferred hearing his voice, and so he called her almost daily) and she would come to his home games to cheer him on. He had given her a Chelsea shirt with his name on it, and she'd joked that people would think they were together. The words left his mouth before he could register that he was talking: 'Would that be such a bad thing?' She had remained silent, but the blush that adorned her cheeks must've meant something, right?

It was a silly thing he said back then, though he often lets his mind wander back to that day. Perhaps he was just being ballsy, or joking around, gauging her reaction to a topic that she brought up. But somewhere after those words, the lines had blurred. Their goodbye hugs lingered a little longer, the gazes between them seeming to be softer - a little too soft for two people to just call themselves friends. He would take notice of the way she twirled her hair around her fingers when she was nervous, how her locks would shine in the sunlight. Her scent - sweet and faintly resembling the smell of spring - edged into his memory.

She had felt it, too. It started with missing him more than she used to when he was away for his job. She'd resorted to sleeping in one of his hoodies, just to miss him a little less. Then, she'd set one of their selfies together as her lockscreen, Mason pulling a silly face as she kissed his cheek. A smile would edge onto her face anytime she opened her phone. And when he'd lost a game and got all upset, biting his fingernails to hide his anxiousness, her heart would break for him too. She would do anything to cheer him up. Though, mostly she just wanted to hear his beautiful laugh ringing in her ears - the one that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes crease at the corners.

It wasn't something they spoke about, or ever acknowledged. But the pair was awfully aware of how much the line had blurred since that day on the playground.

But if asked about the moment he knew she was it for him? He'd tell them it was this very moment. Some would say it was cliché, that it was something straight out of a movie. And maybe it was. But he'd seen enough romcoms (he wished he could say it was courtesy of her, but really, he loved those films) to know that the movies hadn't described it well enough.

Because his breath did catch in his throat. His cheeks flushed as he saw her, heart beating louder than it would when he'd been running on the pitch. As she was walking down the stairs, floorlength dress accentuating her figure, her hair falling loosely and her make-up complementing the colour of her eyes perfectly. Her heels were still in her hands, and he fought the urge to smile. He knew how much she hated heels, and how her clumsy self would've probably fallen down the stairs if she'd put them on already. God he felt it all over his body - the hairs on his arms rose as the tingly feeling in his stomach spread through his body. He was so utterly and completely in love with her.

"Y/N. You look- I mean- I-." He tried to start, stammering over his words as his cheeks burned.

"D'you know what? I'll take that as a compliment, Mase." She laughed as she put her heels on.

"You should. Can't even find the words to describe how beautiful you look." He admitted as he groaned mockingly, holding his arm out for her to take so they could walk the short distance to the restaurant.

"Well that doesn't happen often, does it?"

The both of them joked some more as they walked together, before arriving at their destination.

It was her graduation diner. All her family and relatives were there, which to her included Mason. It was a good night, laughing and reminiscing on the past years, wondering about what the future holds as they not-so-subtly stole food from each other's plates.

That was, until her family started speeching. Some of her family members had prepared something, and she'd held Mason's hand tight;y in hers as she listened to all the encouraging words.

"Mason, son. Would you like to say something too?" Her dad asked.

"Uhh, well. I didn't really prepare anything, actually."

"I'm sure you can think of something. Stand up, son." He cursed himself for being so close to her dad. But he was right, he had something to say.

And so he begrudgingly scraped his chair back and stood up. Suddenly all eyes were on him, and although he should be used to that by now, he felt vulnerable. He cleared his throat and looked at her next to him, only to find her kind eyes already on him, an encouraging smile send his way enough to make him start speaking.

"Well. Y/N and I have known each other for years. She was always joking around, roughhousing with me and the boys, never giving a care in the world as long as she, and the people around her, are happy. She'll do anything her way, even if it's the wrong way, because she's too stubborn to admit her mistakes." Some of the guests chuckled, and he took a moment to smile before he continued on.

"That's just what she's like. And I admire that in her - in you." He directed his attention towards her now, as she looked up at him with large eyes. "You're not one to admit when you're upset or stressed, or when you need help. And I know these past few years have been hard on you, but I am so proud to see how you've handled everything. How you persevered through your struggles while still being true to yourself. I admire that in you, and it gives me strength, too. Maybe you're a bit of an inspiration of mine. And-" He had to swallow hard, then, and he glanced at her to gauge her reaction as he did. Tears were brimming in her eyes, and she would no doubt get mad at him later for ruining her make up. He had to swallow again.

"I guess what I'm saying is- It's been an honour to have been by your side through your highs and your lows. Seeing you grow from that little know-it-all girl into the strong woman you are now. And I can't wait to be by your side for everything else you're going to achieve." He sniffled then, wiping a sleeve underneath his own eyes to keep himself from crying in front of - quite literally- her entire family.

That sentiment had gone out the window for her, though, because she'd let the tears stream freely over her cheeks. Worry overtook him as the faintest of sobs left her lips, and so he quickly reached down to her. He held her face in his hands, thumbs wiping her cheeks dry as she let out a teary laugh.

"God, I'm so embarassing." She laughed as she took his hands from his face, resting them on her lap as she played with his fingers - something she had a habit of doing to calm herself down. "You could always become a speech writer if the football thing doesn't work out, though." She added, laughing slightly at her own joke as she tried to lighten the mood. She really hated feeling so vulnerable.

"You're not." He whispered back.

If there was any moment to tell her, this was it. So he mustered up all the courage he could find in himself to just tell her.

"And I'll support you through everything else. All the highs and lows and victories and defeats, I'll be there for you whenever you need me. Because- Because I love you."

Gasps were heard from around the table, but the only reaction he cared for was hers.

"You do?" Her voice was timid, questioning the extent of his words as she was still sniffling.

"I do. I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then."

"I- Mason."

She wasn't sure what to respond, so overwhelmed with emotions that she couldn't contain her tears overflowing her eyes for the second time that day. He was crying now too, though, albeit silently. The whirlwind of emotions she felt - that he so clearly reciprocated - were enough to confess her love for him too. Something she now felt they should've done much sooner.

"I love you too, Mason. Always and always and always." She repeated as she let her face fall in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent as he held her inexplicably close to him, arms tight around her waist as they took in the moment. Their moment.

The other guests applauded, sniffled as they tried to hide their tears at the heartfelt moment, even cheered for the two of them.

But all of it went unheard.

Because who cares about what others think when you've got that kind of love right in front of you?