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ourshineeshrine · 8 years ago

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My Number One Fan

Chapter 23 Pairing: JongKey Word Count: 4,612 Summary: Kibum goes to the same, run-down bar every week to watch the man of his affections sing his heart out with a mere guitar for company. He wasn’t expecting the coffee, nor the beautiful personality within the singer. And he definitely wasn’t expecting to fall in love.

A/N: this chapter seems a little boring, idk? it all heats up next chapter though so wooo! for now, enjoy <3

Soon enough Wednesday had arrived, and for the first time in a short while Kibum found himself sitting in the dance room with both Taemin and Minho at lunchtime. Minho had looked the upmost relieved when Kibum had told him that he’d made up with Taemin, but that didn’t stop the awkward aura from lingering around Minho as he interacted with Taemin for the first time since the incident in the hallway.

It was more than obvious to observe that the two hadn’t spoken about what had transpired that day, but Kibum decided against bringing it up, and tried desperately to talk about the things that were going on in his life instead. And well, according to both Taemin and Minho, that meant Jonghyun.

“Have you two screwed yet?” had been the first question Taemin had asked, leaning forward devilishly in an attempt to read Kibum’s expression. The hesitation Kibum had in replying was all he needed as a response. The first year sniggered wildly whilst shooting Kibum scandalous looks, nudging Minho in the ribs as though it was the most amusing thing he’d ever heard. “That’s nasty, Kibum.”

Kibum stuttered. “N-No, we haven’t! We haven’t gone that far yet…I was just shocked by the question.”

“But you’ve done something along those lines, right?” Taemin was hitting the nail on the head, but Kibum merely shrugged and looked away.

“Who cares about that?” he replied, a bright crimson adorning him cheeks.

Minho and Taemin chortled loudly, shooting Kibum the most suggestive looks they could muster. Astounded by their immaturity (and adorableness, but he wouldn’t admit that aloud), Kibum could only roll his eyes and attempt to change the subject. Before he could speak up however, Minho was doing it for him.

“Actually, Kibum,” he began, in between his bouts of laughter. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

Shyness and uncertainty weaved its way into Minho’s expression, and he took one last deciding breath before speaking what was on his mind. “Well…Since you two are so close and all…I was thinking that maybe you could set me up on a date with Amber? Or something?”

Kibum blinked before turning his head in astonishment to gauge Taemin’s reaction. He could tell that the younger boy was trying as hard as he could to keep a straight, interested face, but the faint furrows between his brows told Kibum that he felt otherwise. Jealousy burned behind his eyes, and Kibum took note of the way his fists clenched tightly at the fabric of his pants.

“Oh…Right.” Kibum spoke, biting his bottom lip awkwardly. “Look, Minho…It’s just that Amber doesn’t normally like people or wanna date them like that, y’know? She’s not into all that serious stuff and she probably wouldn’t stay committed. I don’t want you going down that black hole, Minho.”

It was true, certainly. For as long as he’d known Amber (which was quite a while), he’d never actually seen her in a serious relationship. Sure, she’d done a bit of mucking around but labelling someone as her boyfriend or girlfriend? It would probably be a few more years until any of that sort happened. Maybe he would have tried to set them up if the circumstances had been a little different. But Taemin had a huge crush on Minho and it was safe to say that Kibum would rather see those two together than Minho and Amber. And he definitely didn’t want to see Taemin’s heart breaking when the object of his affections ditched him for a girl because God knows that Kibum knew how that felt.

Taemin’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief and Minho sighed deeply in disappointment. “I figured that.” he replied, and Kibum was again reminded of how amazingly understanding Minho was. “Oh well, I suppose. It was worth a try.”

Kibum smiled grimly and patted Minho’s shoulder. “It’s alright, buddy. There’s plenty of other people out there who are worth your time. You just gotta open your frog-like eyes a little wider.”

“Oi!” laughed Minho, which was followed by a loud snort from Taemin.

“Don’t mock his eyes, Kibum. He gets a little defensive about resembling an amphibian.”

Laughing out loud, Kibum turned to face Minho with fake apology swimming in his eyes. “Sorry, Kermit. It won’t happen again.”

Minho’s mouth dropped in disbelief and Taemin squealed in amusement, and Kibum had never been so glad to be reunited with his friends once again. But, bladder was calling, and so regrettably Kibum dismissed himself to go use the bathroom. “I’ll be right back, guys.”

Upon Kibum’s departure, the attention was focused solely on Minho and Taemin, where Minho was regarding the first year with caution and concern. An awkward silence lingered in the air and Taemin’s gaze was directed at only the floor beneath him. “So um, Taem…you know about what I overheard the other day, about Kai? You know you can tell me about that, right? We’re best friends. I don’t want you thinking that you can’t trust me or tell me things that might be worrying you.”

For a few moments Taemin remained silent before reluctantly lifting his gaze to meet Minho’s. His mouth felt dry and his throat tight, but he recalled what Kibum had told him about Minho’s kindness and understanding. Taemin knew that. Of course he did. Minho was easily the purest and most loyal person Taemin had ever known. And so because of that, it was with a little hesitation that Taemin began confessing what had happened back then with Kai.

“It’s true.” he began. “I-I did kiss Kai. I guess I had a little crush on him, I don’t know. I thought he liked me too, to be honest. That’s why I did it. But um…” Taemin worried his lip and subconsciously picked at his fingernails. “He didn’t feel the same, obviously. He punched me, left and never really spoke to me again. He just told everyone in my year level that I was disgusting and gay—But I’m not! Just so you know, I’m not gay. I just liked him. That’s all, I swear.”

“Taemin…” spoke Minho softly. “Even if you were gay, you know I wouldn’t give a shit right? Kibum’s gay and I don’t treat him any different.”

Taemin nodded. “I know that! But I’m really not gay, okay? I’d tell you if I thought I was. You really don’t think it’s disgusting?”

Minho leant forward to ruffle Taemin’s hair. “Never, Taeminnie. I just think that Kai is a real fucking jerk and that I should go beat him up right now.”

“No!” Taemin laughed. “Don’t do that, please! It’ll probably make it even worse.”

“Alright…If you say so. Ah, Taemin, you’re seriously awesome. I’m so glad you’re my best friend.”

A barely noticeable blush coloured Taemin’s cheeks and he grinned giddily. “Same here…Kermit.”

Jonghyun laid on his bed sloppily, scrolling through his twitter feed and laughing quietly to himself every so often at an amusing meme which had appeared. Being an aspiring musician who only works Sundays and doesn’t go to university (which Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he regretted quite yet), it was obvious to see that Jonghyun had plenty of time on his hands to simply lounge around at home and do nothing. Seodam had been trying to convince him to get out of the house more often with a gym membership or a part time job, but it wasn’t as though he had any bills to pay and staying at home all day was more than okay to Jonghyun.

A steady knock sounded at his bedroom door, and Jonghyun hummed loudly in response. The door creaked open and Seodam popped her head around the corner, smiling slyly at Jonghyun’s figure. “Hello, brother.”

Jonghyun looked up from his phone and greeted his sister with a frown. “Hello? Back from work already?”

The medical student laughed and gestured to her watch. “Jonghyun, it’s already four o’clock.”

“Oh. Well was it fun then?”

Seodam grinned mischievously, walking in and taking a seat on Jonghyun’s desk chair. “I guess so…But I’m sure it wasn’t as fun as what transpired here on Sunday night, right?”

It took a while for the words to process in Jonghyun’s head, but once they had he choked loudly on his spit and regarded Seodam with large, worried eyes. “W-What the heck are you talking about?”

“Oh, Hyun-ah…Darling…You know what I’m talking about.”

Jonghyun casually shrugged his shoulders and returned his gaze back to the screen of his phone. “No, actually. I’m afraid I don’t.”

His mother had joined them now, and was leaning against the doorframe with an uncharacteristically evil smile adorning her expression. Jonghyun shifted nervously in his position on the bed, and felt his cheeks automatically flush red in embarrassment. The two females shared a strange look and Jonghyun attempted as best as he could to simply ignore them. That proved a lot harder than it seemed when Seodam started speaking once again.

“Need me to jog your memory? I think it went something like…” her voice lifted in pitch, and she gripped a nearby pillow tightly in her grasp with eyes clenched shut. “Ngh—Kibum!”

Jonghyun picked up the cushion beneath him and tossed it roughly at his sister. “What the fuck, shut up, Seodam! Why do you sound like a ten year old girl, anyway?”

Seodam threw her arms up in surrender. “Hey! Don’t blame me, I’m just copying what I heard. Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but that’s literally how you sounded. And mum, tell your son off please. He threw a pillow at me for no reason.”

“I had plenty of reason! Frickin’ hell, you’re so immature. Get lost.”

His cheeks were practically crimson now, and Jonghyun refused to make any sort of eye contact with his mother who had witnessed the whole conversation. Had he seriously sounded like that? Jonghyun had honestly never felt so humiliated in his entire life. The topic of sex was already embarrassing enough, but for his family to have heard him? At that moment Jonghyun was seriously contemplating curling up into a ball and dying beneath his duvet.

“Seodam, stop hassling your brother. And Jonghyun, stop throwing pillows around.” his mother laughed, moving to leave the room with a departing wink. “Oh, and maybe make sure we’re not home next time you decide to…get frisky.”

Jonghyun groaned loudly in aggravation. “Frisky? Are you kidding me? This family sucks.”

Still seated in the desk chair, Seodam chuckled good-naturedly. “Calm down, we’re just messing with you, Hyun-ah. But seriously, how was it? Did Kibum enjoy it?”

Deadpan, Jonghyun simply stared at Seodam in disbelief. “We are not having this conversation right now.”

“Oh yes we are, buddy. I know you’re not very experienced in that department so tell me, did Kibum enjoy it? That’s very important in a relationship, y’know.”

“What the heck do you know about my experience…” he muttered quietly, before simply rolling his eyes and answering the question at hand. “And I’m not sure? I’m pretty sure he did. You tell me. You were the one listening in, after all.”

Poking her tongue out playfully, Seodam offered a simple shrug in response to Jonghyun’s accusations. “Don’t go kink shaming me, buddy. Now listen here, I’ve dealt with a lot of guys like Kibum before and let me tell you, I know what they like—“

Jonghyun had honest to God never been so lost for words in his entire life. Here his sister was, sitting on his chair, and trying to give him sex advice nonetheless. “—Seodam, in case you’ve forgotten I too am I guy. I’m pretty sure I know what they like.”

“It’s different when there’s two people.”

“If I want sex advice, I’ll just go watch porn or something. No offence, but this isn’t the type of thing you want to hear from your sister.”

Seodam’s jaw dropped and she shook her head ferociously before diving onto the bed beside Jonghyun. “Nope, nope, nope! Don’t you know porn is a bunch of bullshit? Hearing this from your sister is better than gaining some shitty unrealistic advice from porn. You don’t have anything better to do, so I’m going to tell you everything I know. I am a doctor after all—“

“But you’re a med student?” frowned Jonghyun.

“Hush, child. Same thing. Wow, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Me neither.”

Seodam continued speaking as though Jonghyun had never said anything. “You’re all grown up now…” She wiped away some fake tears from the corner of her eyes. “Now, Jonghyun. When two people – in your case, two handsome fellas – like each other very much, they can decide to take the next step in their relationship.”

Jonghyun whinged loudly and buried his face into a nearby pillow. He just hoped to God this conversation wasn’t going to last much longer. It did.

The following day eventually arrived, and found Kibum leaving his classroom with a relieved sigh at the prospect of school finishing. He’d barely even made it to his locker when his phone started to ring, but answered immediately upon seeing Jonghyun’s contact flashing on the screen.

“Hello!” he sang into the phone, placing his books away nonchalantly.

“Hi, babe.” came Jonghyun’s response, equally as, if not even more happy than Kibum. “Just wondering if you could come over today…I have a surprise.”

Kibum’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and he paused for a few seconds to think. “Yeah, I should be able to. Is um…your family home?”

A laugh sounded from the other side of the line. “Not that sort of surprise, Key. Just hurry over, alright?”

Flushing pink, Kibum could somehow just feel that Jonghyun was winking mischievously as he spoke. “Um, sure? I’ll be there soon.”

“Great! See you soon, Kibum!” And then the line was cut off, and Kibum was left to stand confusedly in the corridor. How on earth was he meant to get there? Jonghyun hadn’t even offered to pick him up.

Kibum frowned. Was he supposed to just call a taxi or something? He willed his forming anger to calm down by concluding that the surprise would be worth it. Taxis from here probably weren’t even expensive, anyway. But before he could ponder the idea of calling one for much longer, a voice sounded from behind him.

“Hey, Kibum?” It was Minho.

“Hm?”

Minho pulled his keys from his pocket and jangled them around, and all of a sudden Taemin too was by their side. “Jonghyun told me to drop you at his house. And I’m dropping Taemin home as well, so he’ll be coming with us.”

Kibum sighed in relief. “For a second I thought he’d left me to fend for myself.”

“C’mon, Kibum…This is Jonghyun we’re talking about. The sappiest guy on the planet.” Minho chuckled.

“Okay fine, you’re right. We should go, he was really impatient on the phone.”

Taemin wiggled his brows and nudged Kibum impishly in the ribs. “Impatient to fuck?”

Jaw dropping, Kibum slapped Taemin over the head. “No, you little shit. And don’t swear.”

“Says you, ya hypocrite.”

Kibum rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget that I’m older than you. You’re still a fetus.”

With a loud chuckle, Minho nodded in agreement and mussed Taemin’s hair so it stuck up cutely at the edges. Taemin crossed his arms over his chest and attempted to look tough instead, but it was clear to see that his heart was fluttering from Minho’s display of affection.

“Thanks for the ride, Minho! I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” spoke Kibum in farewell as he left the car, waving over his shoulder enthusiastically as the two younger boys drove off.

Upon their departure, Kibum turned towards Jonghyun’s house and breathed deeply before heading towards the front door. His confusion and nerves for the impending surprise were immediately quelled as the door swung open to reveal an overly excited Seodam. “Hey, Kibum! Hurry up and get in here, Jonghyun’s getting impatient.”

A wide, eager smile beamed over Kibum’s face and he jogged the last few steps towards the house with a bounce in his step. “Sorry!” he laughed, immediately being pulled into the woman’s tight embrace.

“I didn’t get to talk to you on Sunday night,” she pouted. “You were too…preoccupied elsewhere.”

Kibum flushed a dark red. “Oh…R-Right. Well um, anyway…Where’s Jonghyun?”

Laughing, Seodam opened the door wider to let Kibum in and gestured at Jonghyun who was standing in the hall. Jonghyun beamed and quickly scurried over to where his boyfriend and sister were standing, greeting the former with a quick kiss. “Close your eyes.”

“O…kay?” giggled Kibum, closing his eyes softly and allowing his hands to be grabbed and lead forward by Jonghyun.

“And no peaking!”

He nodded. “Gotcha.”

Kibum shuffled along awkwardly, making sure to not trip or knock his arms against anything in a house that wasn’t his own. His mind attempted to guess just what Jonghyun would be surprising him with, but other than a possible present his mind came to an abrupt halt. “Is it a present?” he muttered, mostly to himself.

Jonghyun chuckled and he might’ve been shaking his head but Kibum couldn’t tell. “Not quite. But I still think you’ll like it very much. Alright, we’re here. Keep your eyes closed, ‘Bummie.”

The sound of a door opening sounded and Jonghyun led him through said door, all the while keeping a firm grip on Kibum’s hand. The door shut behind them and Kibum was vaguely aware that they were in Jonghyun’s bedroom, but pushed the memories of what had happened last time they were there out of his head.

“Okay, Kibum. Open your eyes.”

His eyelids fluttered open and it took Kibum a while for his sight to focus, but once he’d regained his bearings a loud squeal immediately escaped his lips.

Jonghyun smiled widely at his reaction. “She’s a bit tired because it’s the first day she’s been here, but yeah. I got a puppy. Kibum, meet Roo. Roo, meet Kibum.”

A small dachshund puppy sat curled up on Jonghyun’s bed, chest moving up and down steadily as she slept. Kibum excitedly sat down on the bed beside Roo and gently ran his fingers through her soft fur, looking back at Jonghyun with a smile which made the singer’s heart skip a beat at the mere sight.

“I swear she was awake like a minute ago…Sorry.”

Kibum gently shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, just look how adorable she is. Did you get her today?”

“Yep! Seodam picked her up after work as a surprise for me…I’ve been asking for a puppy for a while now, actually. But dogs aren’t that cheap and we never really found the time to go and buy one. Do you like her?”

Face lighting up, Kibum nodded vehemently. “She’s the best! You’re so lucky…” He grinned wistfully and lifted Roo into his lap, placing a peck on the dachshund’s small snout. Her eyes were open now and instinctively her tail began to wag, giving Kibum’s hand a happy lick.

“Well actually…I was thinking that we could kind of raise her together? She would stay here, obviously, but we can take her for walks together and play with her like a little family…” Kibum was silent and Jonghyun hurriedly exclaimed, “Only if you want to of course! I mean…she already likes you a lot!”

Kibum gently placed Roo back on the bed and stood up, walking over to Jonghyun determinedly before abruptly wrapping the older man in a tight hug. “Of course I want to, you idiot. This is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” He pulled away slightly to instead kiss Jonghyun deeply. “I’ve always wanted a dog, but my parents are never home so y’know… it’s a little hard. You’re amazing.”

“To be honest, I would have penned you as a cat person.” spoke Jonghyun with a fond smile, gently tracing his thumb over Kibum’s cheekbone.

Pretending to gag, Kibum shook his head. “As if. I’m dating you for a reason, aren’t I?”

Jonghyun pulled Kibum closer for another kiss, humming against the other boy’s mouth. “Touché. Rude, but touché. Should we feed Roo and then maybe take her for a walk? I think she’s old enough...”

“Okay!” Kibum cheered, pulling away from Jonghyun to instead lift Roo into his arms. “Do you have a leash for her already?”

“Eager are we? And yeah, it’s in the lounge room I think…We’ll give her something to eat first though. How much are puppies meant to have?”

Kibum laughed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t know. Maybe just ask Seodam or look it up on the internet…”

Laughing, Jonghyun felt himself relieved to know that Kibum was just as new to all this as he was. “Okay, okay…Bring your school bag and we’ll head towards your house.”

“Alright, be right back!”

Moments later, Roo was fed (thanks to Seodam’s help), her leash was attached, and Kibum and Jonghyun were out of the house, making their way towards the end of Jonghyun’s street. Their hands twined together with Roo’s lead squished between them, and they walked in a comfortable silence until reaching the main road. “Did you know Taemin likes Minho?” questioned Kibum out of the blue, knowing quite well the answer was no.

“Well I do now…But Minho doesn’t swing that way, right?”

Kibum looked in thought momentarily. “That’s what I was thinking too but…I don’t want poor Taemin suffering, y’know? So we gotta stay hopeful for now.”

Jonghyun nodded. “We’ll be the best wingmen ever.”

Roo was slugging along slowly, at times either stopping completely in the middle of the footpath or racing ahead so that Jonghyun and Kibum were forced to run with her.

“We should ask each other questions or something.” spoke Kibum suddenly, once Roo had calmed down a bit and was trotting along at an even pace. “I feel like I don’t know enough about you yet.”

“True…We dived into this relationship kind of fast, didn’t we?”

Nodding, Kibum gave Jonghyun’s hand a firm squeeze. “But I don’t regret it. I just want to learn more about you, so I’ll go first. What’s your…worst fear?”

“Worst fear? If it’s one of those cliché truth or dare questions then I’d say something like losing my voice or people judging me for being myself but honestly…I’m more afraid of losing you and my family.” Jonghyun responded, cheeks flushing pink against the cool breeze.

Kibum nudged against him fondly. “Aren’t you a sap?”

And then Roo halted suddenly in her tracks, sitting down on the pavement and refusing to move another leg. Jonghyun sighed wearily, and gave the puppy an encouraging poke. “C’mon, Roo…We’re nearly there.” Still, she remained on the ground, looking up at Jonghyun with wide, sad puppy eyes which seemed to beg for sleep. “Do dogs seriously get tired so quickly?” Jonghyun questioned, mostly to himself, before promptly picking the puppy up and holding her like a newborn baby. “I guess I’ll have to carry her…”

“Look at these two cuties.” Kibum cooed, pulling his phone out and quickly taking a snapshot. “Geez, I love my dogs.”

Jonghyun frowned and pursed his lips. “Are you implying that I’m a dog?”

In response, Kibum simply entwined their hands once more and continued walking, mentally rolling his eyes at the fact that Jonghyun had missed the most important part of that phrase.

‘Maybe I was implying that you’re a dog…’ he thought to himself. ‘But I was also implying that I love you, idiot.’

“My go to ask a question!” Jonghyun exclaimed happily, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet yet making sure to keep Roo locked firmly in his grasp. “What’s your personal motto? Something that you always tell yourself.”

Kibum became silent in deep thought for a few moments, the sole sound of footsteps against the concrete pavement filling the empty air. “I mean…It’s not really a motto. Just kind of what I base my decisions around, I guess, but... ‘My dream isn’t to become the best. It’s to become someone who I’m not ashamed to be.’”

Instinctively, Jonghyun beamed, rubbing his thumb fondly against the back of Kibum’s hand. “I like that. That’s really nice, actually. But as a side note – you’re kind of the best, anyway.”

Good-naturedly, Kibum slapped Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Stop flirting, it’s getting you nowhere right now. Now hush, while I think of something to ask.”

“Your wish is my command, King Kibum.”

The younger of the two rolled his eyes fondly, and used his free hand to fix his wind-tousled hair. “Okay…Would you rather go into the past or the future, and why?”

“The past!” Jonghyun spoke immediately, as though it was the easiest thing he’d ever been asked. “I could go back and fix everything I did wrong in high school, I could’ve talked to you sooner, I could’ve kissed you sooner…And if I went into the future, I think I’d be scared to see something that I know I don’t want to.”

Kibum hummed in agreement. Maybe if he went into the past he’d be more careful of the string of lies he told his parents and prevent himself from being caught in positions which lead them to suspect him. And as for the future…Kibum wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see what that beheld for him. The past would definitely be a safer option. “Me too, actually. The future’s a little too wild for my liking.”

“We’re both a bunch of scaredy cats.” chuckled Jonghyun, and he could’ve sworn that Roo’s ears twitched as he said it.

“I know…But at least we can be scaredy cats together, right? Imagine dating someone who made you climb mountains on the weekends, I think I’d die.”

Jonghyun’s face dropped suddenly, and he peaked at Kibum from the corner of his eyes. “Oh…”

Mouth dropping in shock, Kibum stopped to glare at Jonghyun. “You are not a fucking mountain climber. I will dump you at this second if you are.”

His disheartened façade faltered, and Jonghyun burst out into loud laughter. “As if I’m one of those, Kibum. My legs are already getting itchy and we have literally walked like one kilometre.”

“And I’ve got a stitch.” added Kibum amusedly, resting his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder and giving Roo a gentle scratch behind the ears. Too caught up in the moment of insulting exercise and bonding over their lazy habits, Kibum and Jonghyun remained painfully unaware of the familiar white sedan which drove past in that precise moment, the driver of said car watching the two with scrutiny from his rear view mirror.

The rest of their journey to Kibum’s house passed in a warm, comforting silence, their hands not once separating until they neared the perfect, pristine structure. Kibum took Roo into his arms and kissed her lovingly on the forehead before passing her back to Jonghyun. “Hopefully you don’t die of exhaustion on the way home. Maybe I’ll buy Roo some toys or something this weekend. Are you free on Saturday?”

“Sure am.” responded Jonghyun, looking at Kibum’s house cautiously before giving Kibum a chaste peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon, alright? Take care, Key!”

“You too Jjong. And take good care of Roo!”

Jonghyun nodded happily, and waved to Kibum in farewell as the younger boy walked up towards his front door. His father was home it seemed, thought Kibum to himself, taking note of the white sedan parked neatly in their driveway. Luckily for Kibum he hadn’t done anything spontaneous enough to warrant a scolding as of late.

Well…So he thought.

#jongkey #fanfiction #my number one fan #this chapter is so chill #I INTRODUCED ROO #yayyy!!#but now we know who the car belongs to ho ho ho #things are gonna get wild

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ssteezyy · 7 years ago

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Ivory Tickling (or, How to Induce a Massive Pianic Attack)

How many email accounts do you have? Because I have enough to choke six horses. And the passwords they rode in on. I can’t keep up with them. I’m drowning in emails. And social media accounts. And texts.

Calgon! Take me awayyyyy! Do they even still make Calgon?

We are so much alike, you and I. Busy busy busy, working ourselves up into anxious blobs of lather. I mean, what are we doing with our lives?! Let’s make a promise to ourselves that we will calm the hell down and focus on what life is really about: peace, love and chocolate lava cakes, am I right???

Until two days ago, I had never been to the Harris Center in Folsom and holy smokes, it’s gorgeous. Acoustically gorgeous, anyway, all curved panels from floor to ceiling to diffuse unwanted sound waves and whatever other sound design terminology my husband was craning his neck to see and going on about before the Jim Brickman Joyful Christmas concert started.

Oh! And speaking of Jim Brickman, I met him before the show. (By the way, in order to avoid getting arrested by the blogging police, I must disclose that I received complimentary tickets and a CD/DVD.)

I thought of questions to ask him just for you guys, and I didn’t want to ask anything stupid, like, “Where do you get your inspiration?”, because I hear artists hate that question. And I didn’t want to ask, “So what’s it like working with [Five for Fighting/Martina McBride/Kermit the Frog/etc.]”. Because, BORRRRRRING!!! Everyone has asked him that already.

I walk up to him, say hello, and put out my hand which he shakes. Crap! Should I not have done that? I mean, he’s a pianist for chrissakes! His hands are his bread and butter. He is like a brain surgeon for hammers and strings. He can’t be shaking a bunch of hands before a concert! What if I had a vice-like grip? What was I thinking???

Great, so I’m off to a wonderful start. How much time do I have? Oh jeez, there’s a line behind me. My heart begins to race and my well-thought out plan explodes like a pressurized can of snakes. What should I ask, what should I ask, what should I ask?

Do I go for funny? Is he in a funny mood? Or is he in some pre-concert headspace? Should I be serious like some professional? Do I ask just one question? Can I get away with two?

My husband is off to the side capturing it all on my cell phone. But do I take even half a second to introduce him? No. Because I am the Hillary Swank of bloggers. So that would be faux pas #2.

I introduce myself and surprisingly he says, “Yes. You have a blog.”

I have a blog! He knows I have a blog! Woo hoo! I tell him the name of my blog because:

A. sometimes people laugh when I say it out loud, and

B. when I put a goat in his hands later, it will make at least a modicum of sense later. Maybe.

So what do you ask a multi-platinum artist who has collaborated with the likes of Kenny Rogers and Carly Simon, has no doubt agreed to thousands of interviews, and has been asked every question in the Universal Journalism Interview database? Plus, he has no idea who you are and for all he knows, you’re some weirdo blogger who has come to create an excruciatingly awkward moment 30 minutes before he takes the stage.

“Do you know who Puddles Pity Party is?” I hear myself blurt out.

“No,” he says.

Dang. What a stupid question. I feel like the idiot who has already blown her first wish with the genie asking for a million bucks only to have many, many, herds of deer suddenly show up on my lawn. Why would he know who Puddles Pity Party is, anyway? He’s a songwriter/pianist/radio show host. Not a whole lot in common with a clown who covers pop songs. Ugh.

I want to make some absurd remark (because once I get rolling on the awkward bus, I like to ride it to the end of the line) about how he must have ladies throwing their underwear on stage because, he is a bit on the attractive side, and I’d heard he had a loyal following of women of a certain age so, you know, it could be a compliment and humorous, killing two birds with one stone sort of thing.

And speaking of female fans, I would like to coin a phrase right here, right now:

Brick Chicks.

You know how Chris Pine has his Pine Nuts? And Benedict Cumberbatch has his Cumber Bitches? Jim Brickman now has Brick Chicks, thanks to me.

But I probably shouldn’t say anything about panties on stage here at the meet & greet. I don’t want to get kicked off the bus before it even pulls away from the curb.

“So, um, I hear your biggest demographic is middle-aged women?” Don’t say panties on stage. Don’t say panties on stage. Don’t say panties on stage.

“No,” he says, “actually my audience is varied.”

Dang. Well of course it’s varied. Weddings all over the world incorporate his music. He’s America’s Most Romantic Pianist in the World. Couples make babies with him playing softly in the background. Massage therapists create tranquil atmospheres in low-lit, incense-filled rooms. About a bazillion young aspiring musicians want to learn how to play like him.

Me trying not to say “panties on stage” to Jim Brickman.

Now I feel like the idiot who has blown her second wish asking the genie to take away all the deer (who are now eating all the acorns and pooping everywhere).

I’ve lost count of the faux pas by now. I feel the people behind me sending their “ok-lady-wrap-it-up” vibes, so I desperately try for one last attempt at journalism.

“So, do you receive a lot of gifts from fans?”

“Yes,” he says.

Yay! A Yes! Woo hoo! Now follow it up! Don’t be stupid! Don’t say panties on stage!

“What’s the craziest gift you ever got?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “A live dove.”

I decide to quit on a positive note and introduce him to Lacy, the Nanny Goats in Panties mascot. And I ask if he will hold her while I get a photo with him. No risk of hand injury since she’s plush. Plus I’ve told everyone I know on social media that this was my goal for the evening. And thank the ebony and ivory gods, he said yes again.

Then out in the lobby, I meet Reggie. A REAL Jim Brickman fan. Like a for-the-last-twenty-plus-years Jim Brickman fan. He may even have Brickmania, if I can coin another phrase.

When Reggie heard Brickman’s “The Gift” in 1997, it so resonated with him that he ran out and bought the sheet music so he could play it himself (for me it was “Rainbow Connection”, but we aren’t talking about me right now, are we.) And then when Brickman’s next album came out, Reggie bought the sheet music for that. And Brickman kept making albums and Reggie kept buying sheet music. Reggie has been to at least eight Jim Brickman concerts.

“I’ve read his book,” Reggie told me, “and I believe in what he says about how stress is such a big deal in our society. It’s through his music that I find peace and comfort.”

Playing Brickman’s music is like therapy for him. It helps him relax. And he spreads the Brickman gospel to all his friends who will listen. He got a bunch of stuff signed at the Meet & Greet.

“But I’m going to give them as gifts,” he said.

He plans to send them to friends and other aspiring piano players because he believes the music should be shared and hopes it inspires others the way it inspired him.

The way “The Gift” inspired him twenty-one years ago. (See what I did there? He’s sharing gifts? Jim Brickman has a song called The Gift? It’s a whole play on words…oh never mind)

Me and Reggie

Anyway, the concert was awesome to say the least. Brickman’s banter between songs is my kinda witty and none of that overacting garbage. Nice and subtle. And his performance was energetic yet intimate. And his talking voice is different, lower, than his singing voice. Like Barry White one minute, Adam Levine the next. And his solo dueling pianos bit? You have to see it to appreciate it.

I’d tell you more, but I’m already blowing surprises that were part of the enjoyment for me and I’d smack you if you had told me this ahead of time.

His next tour kicks off this month in Hawaii. You can track down his whereabouts on the Jim Brickman Tour Page.

Or check out his Joyful Christmas CD/DVD. He has released approximately eleventy million CDs, but maybe you can start with “The Gift”, like Reggie did and be struck by some Brickmania of your own.

Then draw yourself a Calgon bath, pop on some Jim Brickman and breathe.

This one’s mine. Get yer own!

The post Ivory Tickling (or, How to Induce a Massive Pianic Attack) appeared first on Nanny Goats in Panties.

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oceansofhappiness · 7 years ago

Text

Ivory Tickling (or, How to Induce a Massive Pianic Attack)

Calgon! Take me awayyyyy! Do they even still make Calgon?

Do I go for funny? Is he in a funny mood? Or is he in some pre-concert headspace? Should I be serious like some professional? Do I ask just one question? Can I get away with two?

My husband is off to the side capturing it all on my cell phone. But do I take even half a second to introduce him? No. Because I am the Hillary Swank of bloggers. So that would be faux pas #2.

I introduce myself and surprisingly he says, “Yes. You have a blog.”

I have a blog! He knows I have a blog! Woo hoo! I tell him the name of my blog because:

A. sometimes people laugh when I say it out loud, and

B. when I put a goat in his hands later, it will make at least a modicum of sense later. Maybe.

“Do you know who Puddles Pity Party is?” I hear myself blurt out.

“No,” he says.

And speaking of female fans, I would like to coin a phrase right here, right now:

Brick Chicks.

You know how Chris Pine has his Pine Nuts? And Benedict Cumberbatch has his Cumber Bitches? Jim Brickman now has Brick Chicks, thanks to me.

But I probably shouldn’t say anything about panties on stage here at the meet & greet. I don’t want to get kicked off the bus before it even pulls away from the curb.

“So, um, I hear your biggest demographic is middle-aged women?” Don’t say panties on stage. Don’t say panties on stage. Don’t say panties on stage.

“No,” he says, “actually my audience is varied.”

Me trying not to say “panties on stage” to Jim Brickman.

Now I feel like the idiot who has blown her second wish asking the genie to take away all the deer (who are now eating all the acorns and pooping everywhere).

I’ve lost count of the faux pas by now. I feel the people behind me sending their “ok-lady-wrap-it-up” vibes, so I desperately try for one last attempt at journalism.

“So, do you receive a lot of gifts from fans?”

“Yes,” he says.

Yay! A Yes! Woo hoo! Now follow it up! Don’t be stupid! Don’t say panties on stage!

“What’s the craziest gift you ever got?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “A live dove.”

Then out in the lobby, I meet Reggie. A REAL Jim Brickman fan. Like a for-the-last-twenty-plus-years Jim Brickman fan. He may even have Brickmania, if I can coin another phrase.

“I’ve read his book,” Reggie told me, “and I believe in what he says about how stress is such a big deal in our society. It’s through his music that I find peace and comfort.”

Playing Brickman’s music is like therapy for him. It helps him relax. And he spreads the Brickman gospel to all his friends who will listen. He got a bunch of stuff signed at the Meet & Greet.

“But I’m going to give them as gifts,” he said.

He plans to send them to friends and other aspiring piano players because he believes the music should be shared and hopes it inspires others the way it inspired him.

The way “The Gift” inspired him twenty-one years ago. (See what I did there? He’s sharing gifts? Jim Brickman has a song called The Gift? It’s a whole play on words…oh never mind)

Me and Reggie

I’d tell you more, but I’m already blowing surprises that were part of the enjoyment for me and I’d smack you if you had told me this ahead of time.

His next tour kicks off this month in Hawaii. You can track down his whereabouts on the Jim Brickman Tour Page.

Then draw yourself a Calgon bath, pop on some Jim Brickman and breathe.

This one’s mine. Get yer own!

The post Ivory Tickling (or, How to Induce a Massive Pianic Attack) appeared first on Nanny Goats in Panties.

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caseinpoints · 8 years ago

Text

Solar selling point: How installers can capitalize on the corporate renewable revolution

Kermit the Frog / Creative Commons

When Kermit the Frog said it’s not easy being green, he may have had a point: It’s sometimes difficult for businesses to initially make the switch to solar. But once they have a plan and a trustworthy installer, prioritizing clean energy can make their future much brighter.

In 2016, many companies publicly set goals of energy independence to reduce their carbon footprint—and attract forward-thinking consumers.

According to Advanced Energy Economy, 43% of Fortune 500 companies have renewable energy or sustainability targets, and 22 companies have committed to powering all operations with renewable energy.

But how do companies actually make that big switch?

Commercial solar installer REC Solar is involved in the entire process of helping companies go green—from planning to installation.

The company sees two reasons for businesses to shift to solar: 1) out of social responsibility to the earth and to their consumers and clients, and 2) for economic gain and grid independence.

REC Solar has helped major retailers like IKEA and Safeway go solar. REC’s director of enterprise sales, Craig Noxon, offered advice to installers on how to talk to businesses about committing to clean energy.

Noxon said the first step is understanding why the business wants to incorporate renewable energy. What is the problem it wants the installer to solve?

“You need to speak their language,” Noxon said. “So if they’re talking in IRR [Internal Rate of Return], if they’re talking in payback period, you need to be able to speak that language and sell to them because they need to sell to their internal stakeholders.”

One of the biggest challenges during the initial conversation is encouraging a company to take a different route for its energy supply.

“Companies have been using the electric grid their entire lives—that’s all they know, they’ve never had a choice,” Noxon said. “So solar and distributed generation offers choice. It offers the ability to do more with less—to turn what is traditionally a cost center into a profit center.”

Showing companies that solar offers choice may help them see going green is a good business fit.

Garrett Colburn, director of marketing and demand generation for REC Solar, said the next step is drawing up a comprehensive energy strategy for the business.

REC Solar’s Washington IKEA installation. Photo: A&R Solar

“For most of these large corporate buyers, there are portfolios of projects across lots of different locations,” Colburn said. “In each state, each utility, there are different nuances that will impact whatever their goal is.”

Colburn said sometimes you must be creative to come up with the right solution.

Other specifics to discuss with the client include the sales engineering process and site-specific design. REC Solar has an advantage as being part of an alliance with utility Duke Energy, because it’s able to discuss renewable options beyond solar—including wind energy and storage solutions.

Above all, Noxon said the role of the installer is to guide the client through the process and set appropriate goals.

“At the end of the day, the customer typically doesn’t come to us and say, ‘We want 2.6 MW of rooftop solar,’” Noxon said. “The problem they’re trying to solve is either green or economic. So the solution is delivering energy as a service.”

Green travel agent

Alta Energy, a company that acts as a “travel agent” for entities that want to switch to clean energy, also concentrates its work on crafting the right solution for each unique client.

Although most of Alta’s clients aspire to “energy independence,” Alta encourages them to set attainable (and sustainable) goals.

“[Becoming energy independent] is something they wish they could do,” Alta Energy CCO Marc Roper said. “And where we end up sort of helping to serve them is, ‘OK, what makes the most sense right now?’”

Roper said he hears more demand for sustainability than energy independence, which he defines as getting as much electricity as possible from sustainable, renewable energy resources like solar and wind. For example, one client, Westfield Mall, would love to be energy independent. But due to the nature of its business–some tenants do not have long-term contracts–Alta instead focused on common area loads where Westfield is both the consumer and owner of electricity. It helped Westfield install a 504-kW solar system at the company’s flagship Century City, Los Angeles, location.

Many companies are feeling a push from their consumers to pursue sustainability. Alta Energy often works with the agriculture sector, which Roper said is inherently interested in sustainability because the group considers itself to be the steward of the land.

“They are feeling pressure from their customers, which are basically suppliers in the food chain, to grow sustainably, to have sustainable business practices—and that can mean not using chemicals, paying a living wage, all of those things,” Roper said. Adding solar to barn rooftops or creating solar farms on the property can help to minimize agricultural carbon footprints and show suppliers the farm is committed to the environment.

First GREEN Bank’s Mt. Dora location. Photo: First GREEN Bank

A green business’s perspective

First GREEN Bank is one such business that has committed to clean energy. The founders opened the bank in Florida in 2009 with the intention of making it as environmentally friendly as possible. Its Mt. Dora location has a rooftop solar system that provides 17% of the total operating energy for the building, free electric charging stations, floors made of recycled material and many more green aspects contributing to its LEED Platinum certification. The bank offers personal and business banking, as well as solar loans.

Founder Ken LaRoe said he built a green company because he is an environmentalist, above all. He said even if businesses don’t share his sustainable values, they should commit to sustainability for marketing and economic business sense.

“It’s tremendous for recruiting talent. We get tremendous press. We’re absolutely adored, for instance, by the city of Orlando,” LaRoe said. When employees and customers see the solar panels on the roof, they know the company is forward-thinking and they want to be involved.

LaRoe’s decision-making process in going green was pretty simple. After he sold his first bank in 2006, he set off on a road trip with the founder of Patagonia’s autobiography in tow. After reading Yvon Chouinard’s book, Let My People Go Surfing: The Education of a Reluctant Businessman, LaRoe made a decision.

“I want to give back as well as make money. The two can be synonymous, and Yvon Chouinard has proven that over and over again,” LaRoe said. So he set off to start Orlando’s First GREEN Bank.

Because he knew from the start that the bank would be built with sustainability in mind, LaRoe thinks it was probably easier for him than for companies that decide to add solar and other renewable aspects after the building is already up.

Convincing businesses to go solar can be challenging—they must step away from the electricity source they’ve known and welcome a new technology. But as the price of solar continues to fall, and customers increasingly want to do business with environmentally conscious companies, installers may see an increased demand for commercial installations.

Companies with clean energy commitments

IKEA: Energy-independent by 2020

How: By producing as much renewable energy as the stores consume using renewable sources like wind and sun.

GM: 100% renewable energy by 2050.

How: By sourcing or generating all electrical power for its operations with renewable energy like wind, solar and landfill gas.

Google: 100% renewable energy by 2017.

How: By purchasing enough renewable energy to match 100% of its operations.

Other companies committed to sustainable operations: UPS, Intel, Kohl’s

Solar Power World

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