#Once Anakin hits 14 he’s just The Problem Child

[omnipresentlemon]

Firmly believe Anakin pre-puberty and Anakin post-puberty WERE NOT the same padawan in Obi-Wan’s eyes

Obi-Wan and Anakin for @ladysarai! And then nothing bad ever happened...

[Image Description: Digital artwork of a young Obi-Wan Kenobi and child Anakin. Anakin is in padawan robes, while Obi-Wan's hair has started to grow out and he has his beard. Obi-Wan is kneeling with his arms around Anakin, who has just run forward to fling his arms around Obi-Wan's neck in a hug. /end ID]

[thesomberfest]

Star Wars: Timestamps and Thoughts; The Empire Strikes Back

Salutations to all. Welcome back to my blog thing? Anyways today is the one and only The Empire Strikes Back which I think may be the most iconic Star Wars movie. But, don’t quote me on that. I’m only saying that as someone who has heard about Star Wars movies from the outside and honestly out of all the movies The Empire Strikes Back is the one movie I’ve always heard about; name-wise. I don’t think I know any spoilers about this movie, so we’ll see. I’m new to this and I don’t know what I’m doing so please have mercy and help a sister out, thanks. I have some idea based on what the movie is about based on the name but I’ll just take what Disney Plus tells me. I honestly have nothing to say. Should I start writing predictions before writing the timestamps and writing my reaction if I’m right or wrong based on the last movie I watched. Does that make sense? I can’t think of any other way to word it differently but if it makes sense then okay, let’s continue. This isn’t a prediction but um is this the movie where Luke finds about his parentage? Or is it a bit too early? Am I too early? Oh well. While adding timestamps I thought it would be a cool idea to add a “Favorite Scene” section under my “Final Thoughts” sections, I hope y’all like it.

03/9 Edit: Y’all sorry this is late but tomorrow is my birthday and I decided to not do my schoolwork and instead watch Star Wars and write. Before y’all get any ideas: yes. I am in fact still a minor. thanks. 04/3 edit: I AM SORRY THIS IS LATE I HAVE NO EXCUSE

Movie: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Release Date: 1980

Summary(?): So obviously the Empire is going to strike back right? And Luke has to find Yoda to learn the ways of the Force? No? Oh and a final show down with Vader? Am I wrong again?

Warning: spoilers (yea no duh bibi) and mild language on my part

Timestamps

00:00:06- 20th Century Fox is here, hello.

00:00:22- the words on the screen have made an appearance

00:01:41- the iconic words have left, bye-bye

00:04:28- Han Solo

00:04:43- It’s Chewie

00:05:04- Ya’ll it’s my queen Leia. She’s looking badder than ever

00:05:22- so the guy we first saw was in fact Luke, whoops.

00:05:40- Han is leaving? What about Leia? Am I missing something?

00:06:00- Okay so I’m convinced that something happened between Han and Leia, right? She looks pissed, he also looks pissed. Uhhh...

00:06:03- Oh shoot, she called out his name and went after him.

00:06:27- the way Leia feels about him? Sexual tension?

00:06:34- does Han want Leia to admit she has feelings for him? Does she have feelings for him?

00:06:42- “Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a good-bye kiss?”- woah there Han

00:06:47- yeah, something did happen. I’m calling it

00:06:53- YES 3PO and R2

00:07:12- Oh shoot, Han doesn’t want to talk to Leia no more

00:07:19- ain’t nobody know where Luke is

00:08:06- aw Han said Luke is his friend. Character development

00:08:36- um is that Luke being hanged upside down?

00:08:47- uh oh, it’s the abominable snowman, let’s uh call him Yeti for short

00:09:00- Lukie-boy that might be a bad idea 

00:09:34- he’s using the Force to get the lightsaber, nice

00:09:40- oh no, the Yeti noticed

00:09:48- he got the Lightsaber yayy

00:09:50- did he just cut off Yeti’s arm???

00:10:00- run forest run

00:10:40- aw R2 :( I want to give them a hug

00:11:58- Leia looks really nervous. Uh-oh

00:12:53- I’m sorry but Chewie wailing/crying a few minutes earlier makes me sad.

00:13:42- omg Yoda? Han found Luke I repeat he found Luke

00:15:16- I wondered where they filmed or if this was effects or something.

00:16:01- are they going to be found? oh I hope so

00:16:13- yay! Found at last!

00:16:35- i’m sorry. is that a man baby???

00:16:48- oh wait was that man baby Luke? Oh god i kinda feel bad now

00:17:02- aww Luke and Han. Their friendship gives me life (junior)

00:17:05- my queen!!!!

00:17:15- ok but seriously what happened between Han and Leia? I know something happened.

00:17:25- I know Han did not just call my boy Chewie a FUZZBALL, please

00:17:31- alone? South passage? was that when Han claimed he was leaving? Her TRUE FEELINGS

00:17:50- why does Luke look sad? Is it... is it because HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER???

00:17:58- (lets out a female lead in horror movie scream) OH MY GOD. I KNEW A KISS WAS TO HAPPEN BUT SO SOON? AND ON THE MOUTH WITH A PEANUT GALLERY LEIA HAS SOME BALLS. SO IT WAS NOT A PECK LIKE I’D ASSUMED HUH OMG tho I feel bad for Luke ‘cause (i think) she only did it to spite Han also if my math is correct IT WAS FOUR SECONDS LONG. But like is this the only kiss between the two or is there more cause ummm...... AREN’T THEY RELATED? SIBLINGS? TWINS I THINK? *Sweet Home Alabama now playing*

00:18:13- why why does he look so smug? also Han about to kill Luke a man

00:19:14- idk what’s happening

00:19:18- pew pew

00:19:44- THE IMPERIAL MARCH omgg yess... I live for the movies music

00:20:32- oh no, the music ended

00:20:38- wait nvm it’s continuing we stand

00:20:40- breathing problems much?

00:20:52- It’s Darth Vader

00:21:47- wait, didn’t he (Luke) almost die? shouldn’t he like oh I don’t know RESTING?!

00:22:47- have i mentioned that I live for the Imperial March? ‘cause I love it

00:23:39- OH

00:23:51- he really dying in the background huh

00:23:57- so he’s like dead, right?

00:24:02- what’s happening? Are they gonna go against Vader?

00:24:12- what the hell is a stardestroyer?

00:24:44- i’ve been told the dark side has cookies so uh peace out. If you would like to reach me please send me a letter via mail. thanks.

00:25:39- once again shouldn’t Luke be resting???

00:25:53- aww I want those binoculars. Is that what they’re called? Idk but I want one

00:26:05- what the hell are Imperial Walkers?

00:26:27- oh. are those Imperial Walkers? Those robot-looking dogs? omg I thought they were talking about Stormtroopers.

00:26:30- laser beam robot doggies did not hesitate

00:26:40- aw look at Luke being leadership material

00:27:09- wow these walkers are slow huh as to be expected

00:27:50- OH NO DAK bruhh nooo

00:28:09- are those robot dogs really gonna win?

00:28:21- LANDING? You mean Vader isn’t even fighting down there? Is he going to join? Or just find Luke and kidnap him and spill the beans? Or is that just my active imagination running too far?

00:28:39- the music...*beautiful*

00:28:58- tying the feet and tripping the doggies seems to be the moves huh

00:29:15- ooh and face first into the snow. how embarrassing...

00:29:20- I just know someone is losing their job or life like that one dude from before

00:30:18- i like the explosions

00:30:52- while one of the those little planes fall i’m sitting here thinking: most book/movie/tv shows that have the whole two sides thing (good vs bad) there always seems to be a traitor which makes me wonder if the good guys have a traitor? possible plot? idk, we’ll see won’t we?

00:31:18- the way these little doggies walk keep reminding me of some eerie Tim Burton movie and idk whyyy

00:33:04- two robot doggies down one more to go

00:33:25- man I just know someone from the Dark Force is gonna be dead fired

00:34:08- are those stormtroopers? They run funny

00:34:12- Darth Vader!

00:34:45- wait i’m dumb. did Vader invade the building/camp they were hiding at?

00:35:18- what does Vader want exactly? Princess Leia? Luke? the so-called “rebel plans”? What am I missing?

00:35:42- they really said: “peace out”

00:36:30- not regrouping? and what the hell is the Dagobah system?

00:37:30- did two ships just crash?

00:39:10- the music really makes this asteroid field detour awesome

00:40:25- did they--did they just go in a asteroid? Orr..?

00:41:18- and just what the hell is Luke thinking? he putting my baby R2 in distress?

00:42:04- where in the HELL are they?

00:42:21- did my baby R2 just fall in the water? Can he even swim? Is it safe? Is he going to die? Idc how cute Luke is, I will hurt him if 2D dies!

00:42:33- what. how is R2 okay? I thought--

00:42:53- Is that R2 whistling?

00:42:57- oh god, is that Nessie? oh no--

00:43:10- OH MY GOODNESS DID NESSIE JUST EAT MY BABY R2 WHAT THE FUC--

00:43:41- R2 MY BABY WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

00:44:01- YEA LUKE it was a bad idea going there! You put my sweet summer child R2 in danger! He almost got eaten as dinner!

00:44:18- ughhh the music is just AMAZINGGGG

00:44:38- whose brain is that? Is that what’s left of Mr. Anakin Skywalker? ooh now that I think about: what does Darth Vader look behind the helmet? I feel dumb for never thinking about that

00:45:34- hey you leave my man 3PO alone Solo

00:45:46- oh did Leia just fall into Han’s arms? ooh

00:45:56- “Captain, being held by you isn’t quite enough to get me excited” Leia woke up and choose violence 

00:46:56- oh OH Luke is looking for Yoda?

00:47:22- omg it’s YODA

00:47:48- man idk but lighting does wonders for Lukie-babe

00:48:26- is Yoda mocking Luke? ‘Cause I’m here for it

00:48:57- why is Luke lowkey being a pushover?

00:49:09- I KNOW Yoda isn’t hitting my baby R2 with a STICK the disrespect I-

00:49:56- at this point Yoda is just pulling on their legs for kicks and giggles huh

00:51:02- oh? alone? Leia and Han? my oh my

00:51:30- oh so now they hand-holding?

00:51:50- OMG when did they get so close to one another? I’m nervous

00:52:00- KISSING KISSING KISSING I REPEAT LEIA AND HAN ARE KISSING OH MY

00:52:04- ofc it’s 3PO to be the one to interrupt the kiss

00:52:14- oop-- Leia just left the crime scene. She’s going to pretend it never happened isn’t she?

00:53:04- wait. Vader isn’t emperor? Someone else is omg. I’m so dumb eye-

00:53:07- ew his side profile is not so good

00:53:10- the front is even uglier 

00:53:23- “young rebel”? my bby boy Luke?

00:53:25- “offspring of Anakin Skywalker”? wait a damn minute. Isn’t Vader oh idk ANAKIN SKYWALKER? Does that “emperor” guy not know? Or have I been lied to? WHAT AM I MISSING?

00:53:57- does this mean Anakin is considered to be a different person from Vader? I’m confused, someone explain please!

00:54:00- “could be turned”? say like Kylo? *dun dun dun* orr am I thinking too far?

00:54:16- “master”? you mean to tell me that Vader isn’t even the one pulling the strings? how embarrassing...

00:54:34- WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE R2 IN THE COLD RAIN?!

00:56:07- Luke my beauty dumbass just realized that Yoda was with the whole time

00:59:19- What is it?

00:59:29- Mynocks

00:59:35- oh hell no. I’m out

01:01:39- satan works hard but man does Luke work harder

01:01:57- “skinny boys are still the best oh i love when they slam and sweat.”-- Jack Off Jill, Lollirot (jolly good song) this one sentence describes it all :)

01:04:19- idk what’s happening but man does he look good. How long until y’all get tired of me simping over Luke?

01:04:40- wait WAIT THE FINAL SHOWDOWN IS IN THE FOREST? I THOUGHT-- I WAS TOLD--HOLD UP

01:05:01- but like, why it feel fake? Is this a dream? 

01:05:09- OH--[luke just decapitated Vader I-]

01:05:20- wait. it couldn’t have been that easy. This feels wrong-

01:05:29- omg. it’s luke! Wait what does this mean?

01:05:50- when i enter a room I would like the Imperial March to play, thanks.

01:06:26- uh, is that Boba Fett? If not I’m so sorry I’m new.

01:06:52- y’all I have a cofession to make: I have a fear of driving and my mother is forcing me to. How does this relate to the movie? Well, Han is steering the ship(?) so...

01:09:16- titanic part two?

01:10:31- my poor baby luke

01:11:37- luke please don’t give up :(

01:12:32- my man yoda showing up luke huh

01:13:35- uh oh. just like the first guy, he dead too. they’re just dropping like flies huh

01:16:05- and another kiss. a small peck, luke.

01:16:34- so is that Boba Fett or not? someone tell me please.

01:16:38- someone please run my baby R2 a bath

01:16:44-y’all the only time I can do a handstand is when I’m underwater (fun fact: i don’t like the pool)

01:16:51-[R2 is being levitated rn] if he falls and BREAKS into tiny pieces i’m quitting star wars

01:17:28- R2 good, he good “... I saw a city in the clouds.” you mean heaven?

01:17:37- “friends you have there” THEY’RE ALL GOING TO DIE WAIT--

01:19:50- they’ve [leia, han, chewie, 3PO] landed they’re safe, for now (i think)

01:20:25- [chewie replying “gahh!” to han] tell me why I laughed. I actually laughed like Chewie made a joke oh my...

01:20:34- uh oh [some dude just called han a slime(y)]

01:20:49- [they’re hugging now?] oh, wait. so they good now? or is this a joke?

01:22:01- i like the interior design of the building

01:22:49- [3PO gets blown up I think] what the hell just happened? 

01:25:13- he’s not coming back is he? [luke left to save han and leia]

01:26:13- finally. someone save 3PO or what’s left of him also I like leia’s new hairstyle it’s pretty

01:26:44- was 3PO decapitated? dismembered?!

01:26:55- good for chewie to fight for the parts of 3PO hopefully it’s all of his parts

01:27:35- my man 3PO in a box freaking dismembered and Lando out here flirting? 

01:28:30- what the hell? [its vader sitting at the head of the table] wait did Lando say a deal? as in turning in the princess? I--this is all happening so fast

01:28:41- [han and co. are now surrounded by boba fett and troopers] i bet they wished they’d stayed back in their rooms huh

01:30:31- oh so i’m assuming it was a stormtrooper who shot 3PO. what are they doing to han? omg is han being cooked alive?

01:31:33- wait I thought boba fett was a good guy? what the fvck.

01:32:05- what happened to han? mans looks traumatized 

01:32:34- oh leia...

01:34:14- i had also assumed all these years that vader was top boss and now i’m being told about some emperor guy? what 

01:35:18- i don’t understand why does boba fett want with han so bad? it can’t just be money, can it?

01:35:54- oh and another kiss and with an even bigger peanut gallery

01:38:22- what’s gonna happen to han now?

01:40:30- wait, is this where the showdown happens?

01:41:06- why is vader (his breathing) so loud?

01:41:10- OMG red vs. blue lightsaber

01:41:19- so this is it

01:42:01- oh, is lando helping them? does he feel guilty?

01:42:17- [chewie is currently choking the life out of lando] fuck yeah chewie

01:43:14- oh thank god R2 & 3PO have reunited once more

01:43:34- is it too late to save han now?

01:44:01- [back to the showdown, luke just lost his lightsaber] uh--this is why you never get too cocky too early, luke

01:44:27- [luke just flew?!] did he just fly like superman? what

01:44:31- who’s the emperor? I had assumed it was vader but i’m being told it isn’t?????

01:44:56- this showdown is a beautiful fight and those lightsabers are freaking cool 

01:46:15- it’s a beautiful dance and the Imperial March is giving me chills

01:46:32- [vader is throwing random objects at luke] aw that’s cheating. and nobody likes a cheater.

01:46:42- luke just flew out the window oh wait he good, now i think

01:47:12- hold up I just realized that they (han, chewie, leia) put 3PO in a fishnet bag (?) chewie really running around with 3PO like a backpack

01:47:49- [the citizens (?) are running] i’m getting titanic vibes and idk if i like it 

01:49:17- i hate to say it but these stormtroopers have really bad aim.

01:50:26- [vader just cut off luke’s hand] *shock* I-omg. He just did that. But, at the same time, I now understand the ERB Harry Potter v. Luke Skywalker so much more, make sense.

01:51:08- “father”? oh my...

01:51:17- “i am your father” oh my god. people this is not a drill, it happened, it happening uhh---

01:51:28- i feel so bad for luke. he looks like he’s about cry.

01:51:41- probs a bad time but luke’s kinda an ugly crier

01:52:14- [luke just fell & left vader standing] luke really said “i’d rather die”

01:54:04- wait, how does leia know where luke is? this some kind of force thing? maybe twin thing?

01:54:37- oh thank god they found luke

01:58:01- does vader care for luke? I mean probably not a lot since he DID chop off his sons own hand so idk

02:01:58- credits/the end

Final Thoughts? Wow. No yeah, I totally understand why Empire Strikes Back is a loved by all. It was amazing. I understand why it’s so talked about. This movie is beautiful; Leia/Han romance, 3PO and R2 banter, the good action. The soundtrack-THE SOUNDTRACK is SPECTACULAR and I would often fins myself rewinding scenes just to listen to the music. The visuals were so striking and appealing and it really showed during the showdown between luke and vader. 

Favorite Scene? Luke meeting Yoda and not knowing that Yoda was Yoda and every scene that included the Imperial March in the background.

If you have made it this far, thank you. I hope none of you people get tired of me fangirling over the Imperial March whilst simultaneously simping over Luke. Thank you for joining me on my adventure of watching Star Wars for the first time. If there’s any grammar mistakes I apologize. Also I got a cute R2 lego keychain from the lego store. Also if you want leave some comments I’m lowkey lonely. Thank you once again for joining me.

x bibi

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

for the character thing; cody, obi wan, and ur oc pova (is that how you spell it?)

YEAHYEAHYEAH (also that is how you spell it) I see we’re doing the whole family and I LOVE it.

I was in the middle of answering this and then I went to find my favorite episodes and Tumblr ate whatever I was working on sooooo I start over.

Cody

Why I like them: Sass. Fandom’s interpretation as Ultimate Big Brother (behind Alpha-17, of course). Mysterious scar. And he’s pretty.

Why I don’t: Honestly? The fact that the clones are slave soldiers, and the fact that fandom tends to give racially biased interpretations of the clones (I’m guilty of this too). Nothing to do with Cody himself, honestly, which isn’t to say he’s perfect or anything, I find him to be rough around the edges but who wouldn’t be in his shoes?

Favorite episode: s1e16 The Hidden Enemy. This one is probably on my top 5 list even without Cody. But guys. GUYS. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” WHAT COULD BE MORE ICONIC?

Favorite film: Okay technically these questions were “episode/scene if a movie” and “season/movie” but because he’s in both I’m gonna have to go with a film for this one. Revenge of the Sith. Listen, I can’t watch ROTS without crying but damn if I don’t love Cody in it anyway. The lightsaber scene will ALWAYS get me. (Season 1 gets an honorable mention.)

Favorite line: Uh. Well. Okay so. “Hey there, Slick. Gun’s empty.” *holds up mag* LISTEN GUYS I LOVE THAT ONE. Although he also gets points for “I’m putting you in charge of this one.” I don’t know if season 1 just has a lot of iconic Cody lines, or if it’s because I’ve been watching that season in Spanish lately.

Favorite outfit: ... his armor? No actually though, I love his Phase II armor. Phase I is cool but Phase II has the cool ventilators. And how can I not make fun of his antenna?

OTP: Codywan. Ideally in a post-war fix-it or semi-fix-it where there isn’t a huge power imbalance, but I’ve been known to read Codywan stuff that takes place during the war, especially before I was as cognizant of the power imbalance as I am now.

BroTP: Cody and Rex. I’m sure y’all saw that one coming. I mean it’s CODY and REX, I’m pretty sure that’s everyone’s BroTP!

Headcanon: So this might be a good time to mention that I headcanon everyone everywhere as autistic. Everyone is autistic. Cody is autistic. Okay actually though, I headcanon that Cody has a great deal of anxiety. He handles it well, and he has a support system, but given his entire life, and the fact that he’s a Marshal Commander, and further more the headcanon we collectively have that Obi-Wan insists on promoting Cody to get out of paperwork because Cody deserves it, he’s probably anxious. And man, same.

Unpopular opinion: Do I have one? Tbh I don’t know how to determine whether an opinion about a character is unpopular. How do we define unpopular? Do we mean just like, not commonly known or shared? Because if so, I once again raise for your consideration: everyone is autistic, therefore Cody is autistic.

A wish: For Disney to retcon Order 66. Barring that, for the Bad Batch show to give him a happy ending involving the removal of his chip and the opportunity to live happily ever after with Obi-Wan on Tatooine. (Is the Bad Batch show going to be live-action like Kenobi? Because PLEASE give me Temuera Morrison playing Cody in both.)

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Don’t laugh. Order 66. Listen I KNOW it’s canon but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

5 words to best describe them: Salty. Snarky. Protective. Competent. Thoughtful.

My nickname for them: honestly, just Codes or Kote. Not much to get out of Cody, really.

Obi-Wan:

Why I like them: HE’S PRETTY. And sassy. There’s a pattern here.

Why I don’t: I don’t think there’s ever a time in canon that he acknowledges all the issues with the clones’ existence. He does in fanon, which I can appreciate, but canonically he’s like, “ah yes, we bought 3.2 million humans. We’ll just stick them in this war I guess.” Also frankly he’s a bit oblivious, bordering on daft, especially considering he’s the Negotiator, I mean he KEPT HIS LAST NAME when he went into hiding. I still love him though.

Favorite scene: That deleted “good girl, Boga” scene, which just hits different when you’ve read Master & Apprentice and know how much he loves varactyls. I don’t care that it’s deleted. It’s my favorite. (Plus you’ll probably like this better than my favorite episode, which is the Kadavo episode.)

Favorite film: Attack of the Clones. Listen listen listen, he has a lot of good moments in TCW, but hands down it’s AOTC.

Favorite line: Eheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheh. Eheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh. “Hello there!”

Favorite outfit: Was gonna make a comment about Jedi robes but then I remembered his stolen Mandalorian armor in The Lawless and *swoons* that’s one pretty outfit.

OTP: ... also Codywan. Again, ideally in an AU with less of a power imbalance, I mean it doesn’t matter how much he promotes Cody, canonically he’s still a Jedi and Cody is still a slave and I just don’t love that but I live for Codywan. Domestic Codywan? *chef’s kiss*

BroTP: probably Obi-Wan and Anakin. Maybe Obi and Padmé? Idk I have Thoughts about Anakin, he’s a problem child, but not much can top the agony in “You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!” (I like whump, okay?) Also just. Can you imagine the Negotiator just being buds with Senator Amidala? Helping each other with domestic disputes and speeches? Working on a Clone Rights Bill? Yeah. Can it be a broT3? What if we just don’t have Anakin and Padmé dating? It’s such an unhealthy relationship. That’s it, broT3 is Anakin, Padmé, and Obi-Wan.

Headcanon: ACE!OBI ACE!OBI ACE!OBI!!!!!! Also,,, autistic!Obi. I know I know, but actually genuinely @fromryloth-tocorellia has some pretty good autistic!Obi-Wan stuff, including Obi-Wan being semi-verbal, low-verbal, and non-verbal. Autistic characters is a hill I will die on, and Obi-Wan is a character I happen to enjoy projecting on (oops). Plus, if I headcanon Cody and Obi-Wan as autistic, then the entire Ibonek family is autistic, and I love that.

Unpopular opinion: The only reason Obi-Wan “left Anakin to die” was because there was nothing he could safely do to help. When I was taking first aid classes, one of the first things they told us was that, unless there is no danger to yourself, you do not help. You wait for actual first responders to show up. If Obi-Wan had tried to help Anakin, either Anakin would have killed him or Obi-Wan would also have been severely burned. And if he had stayed, he may have been caught by Palpatine. Is it sad that he left? Absolutely. Heartbreaking. I don’t think it was a GOOD decision. But he didn’t just leave him to die; there was no other safe option. There were no good decisions here. I have a lot of thoughts about this, I have half-written essays on Discord about it, feel free to ask further questions.

A wish: For Qui-Gon’s dying words to be retconned. I know I wrote that post about how his dying words were full of trust in Obi-Wan and I stand by that, but that doesn’t mean Obi-Wan realized that, or that they were a good choice.

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: For the Kenobi show to be sad. It’s not allowed. Obi-Wan can have one fight, and that’s it, he is happy as a clam on Tatooine because he DESERVES GOODNESS DAMNIT.

5 words to best describe them: Kind. Soft. Warm. Compassionate. Daft.

My nickname for them: Obi

Pova:

What I like about them: They’re my OC and I can do whatever I want with them!

What I don’t: They’re my OC and I’m in charge of them.

(Okay actually though:)

What I like about them: Nonverbal. Pink. Perpetually grumpy.

What I don’t: perpetually grumpy. Seriously how did that happen? Why did I do that? Why is the only time they AREN’T grumpy around Rex or when shopping with Obi-Wan?

Favorite scene: The adoption scene in “Observations on the Nature of Cody Ibonek”.

Favorite work: Probably “Observations”. It’s the first one that’s entirely from Pova’s point of view.

Favorite line: “He was making fun of my stimming. I was already having a bad day. I punched him. It’s whatever.” POVA NO. (Pova yes.)

Favorite outfit: Uh. Haven’t given it much thought yet? Haven’t done many character designs, although fromryloth-tocorellia did one for me and it’s my icon at @ver-writes-things if you want to check that out? Also my Halloween costume is gonna be a super basic cosplay of them and I’ll probably post that.

OTP: None. First of all, the oldest I’ve written them so far is 14. Second, I don’t have any other characters their age yet. Maybe the six kids from the Gathering episode survived? But even then I probably wouldn’t ship it. And I mean, not every character needs a romantic ship.

BroTP: Either Pova and Rex or Pova and Luke. Rex is like big brother/cool uncle, and Luke is like little brother. As of right now, though, definitely Rex, as I haven’t written much of anything with Luke.

Headcanon: I don’t have any because all my headcanons about this character are CANON! Man I love having OCs.

Unpopular opinion: to quote Paige Layle on TikTok: “Stop using the term low functioning autistics when you really mean that they’re just nonverbal. And nonverbal autistics still have a lot to say, they just have a hard time talking.” Basically, I’m certain that as this AU gains traction, Pova’s gonna start getting flak from readers for being nonverbal. It hasn’t happened yet, and maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but just in case someone needs the reminder: No. Stop now. Pova’s autistic. And nonverbal. And not a savant (man I fucking hate that trope). But they are a capable Jedi and, with Cody and Obi, developed a very functional sign language comprised of Jedi hand signals, trade sign language (like from episode 5 of the Mandalorian, that the Tuskens use?), and ARC signals. There will be NO functioning labels on this AU, and Pova has and will continue to have PLENTY to say. If you have a problem you know where the door is.

A wish: For everyone to love my kiddo as much as I do!

An oh-gosh-please-don’t-ever-happen: Listen Pova is gonna have a good and happy life. There is trauma and there is bullying and there is heartache but they are going to live a good life with two AMAZING dads. So there is no “don’t ever happen” because it won’t.

5 words to best describe them: Sneaky. Quiet. Excitable. Compassionate. Snarky.

My nickname for them: Kiddo or my kiddo.

[tomeandflickcorner]

Star Wars: Episode Two- Attack of the Clones

And the prequel trilogy continues, and so does my ongoing Star Wars Reviews.  The plot thickens (with some rather confusing elements) and an unfortunate romance subplot is initiated.

It’s been ten years since the events of Phantom Menace.  And right away, we’re told a bit about Naboo politics.  Turns out, even though Padmé was called Queen Amidala, it wasn’t actually a traditional monarchy.  The person they call queen is actually elected for the position, with a new election being held every few years.  In other words, they call her Queen, but the position is more like President or Prime Minister.  Which is interesting, but slightly problematic.  Because Padmé was 14 years old in the first movie.  And she later states that she wasn’t the youngest person elected to be Queen of Naboo.  What kind of governmental system is this, that you place a child in a position of authority?

Either way, Padmé is now the Senator of Naboo, as the previous Naboo Senator, Palpitine, became Supreme Chancellor of the Senate in the last movie.  But there’s a new problem on the horizon.  Lately, a bunch of planetary systems have expressed a desire to secede from the Galactic Republic.  These Separatists are led by a man called Count Dooku.  Because the Jedi are finding it difficult to resolve the issue on their own, the Senate is planning to vote on whether or not they should form an Army of the Republic to aid the Jedi.

As the movie opens, we see Senator Padmé has journeyed to Coruscant to attend the Senate meeting that will discuss the matter.  She is against the creation of an army, as she feels that doing so will be declaration of war against the Separatists, which would only drive them further away from the Republic, and believes there should be a peaceful resolution to the conflict.  But when her ship lands, a bomb explodes, mortally wounding everyone as they exited the craft.  It turns out, however, that Padmé is still utilizing her old tactic of employing her bodyguards to act as decoys, and the woman who was caught in the explosion was one of those decoys.  To her credit, Padmé is visibly grieved by the death of her friend who bravely risked her life and died for her, but her remaining entourage convinces her to get to safety.

So now that they know that there’s an assassin plotting to kill Padmé, Palpatine suggests that Padmé seek protection from members of the Jedi order.  The problem is, the Jedi Council have their hands full with helping maintain peace within the Republic by doing what they can to keep the Separatist planets from seceding.  Besides, Padmé is not interested in receiving more guards, as she doesn’t feel more security is necessary.  Palpatine disagrees with her on that count and, in what I guess was an effort to compromise, suggests that Padmé seek protection from someone she already knows. Namely Obi-Wan and Anakin, who have apparently just returned to the area after dealing with a border dispute on Ansion. Padmé is still not happy about the matter, but she ultimately concedes to Palpatine’s suggestion.

As such, Obi-Wan and Anakin, who is now 19-years-old, are summoned to Coruscant to protect Padmé.  Right away, Anakin admits he’s still got his strange fascination with Padmé.  Even though they hadn’t seen or even contacted one another in a decade, and when they parted ways, they had only known each other for three or four days.  Obi-Wan responds to this by instructing Anakin to control his feelings.  This is obviously easier said than done, which becomes obvious when they meet with Padmé, who is accompanied by Jar Jar, who I guess has become a vice-senator of sorts to Padmé in the past ten years, acting as a representative for the Gungans, and Captain Typho, who pretty much fills the role Captain Panaka did in the first movie.  See, Obi-Wan and Anakin were simply tasked with protecting Padmé in case the assassin made another attempt on her life.  But Anakin starts running off at the mouth, announcing that they will do more and actually find out the identity of the assassin.  Obi Wan sternly instructs Anakin to not make any attempt at acting outside their mandate.  And it’s here that Anakin begins to become a bit unlikable.  He starts becoming openly defiant towards Obi-Wan, directly asking him why he has to listen to him.  Gee, I don’t know, Anakin.  Maybe because he’s the Jedi Master who’s been charged with training you!? But the thing that really makes me raise an eyebrow at his behavior in this scene is that he’s acting out right in front of Padmé, Jar Jar and Captain Typho.   While I realize there were scenes in Phantom Menace that showed Obi-Wan questioning Qui-Gon’s decisions, he at least had the decency to do this in private.  He never openly acted like that in front of other people.  Thankfully, after a bit of awkwardness, Obi-Wan manages to get Anakin to curb his attitude, instructing him to remember his place.

When night falls, Padmé heads off to bed while Obi-Wan, Anakin and Captain Typho’s squad stand guard.  As they’re standing around, it’s established that Anakin has been plagued by nightmares about his mother.  Whom he hasn’t seen since he left Tatooine with Qui-Gon.  Okay, I get that the whole Jedi mandate states you have to let go of your past and all, but… you’re telling me that Anakin was not allowed to visit his mother at any point during the past ten years?  I’m sure that all of Anakin’s Jedi training and duties were vitally important, but come on. Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council could have allowed him to his mother once in a while.  

Of course, Anakin then returns his focus back to Padmé and his obsessive crush on her, which leads to Obi-Wan instructing Anakin to keep in mind that Padmé is a politician, and therefore can’t be trusted.  However, Anakin disagrees with Obi-Wan’s general statement, as he isn’t interested in hearing anything negative being said about his long-lost 3 day crush. To back up his argument that not all politicians are corrupt, he points out how Palpitine seems like an upstanding man. (Oh, the irony).  This conversation is eventually halted on the dime, as both Jedi instantly sense something amiss in Padmé’s bedchamber. Because the assassin had utilized a drone to slice a hole into Padmé’s bedroom window and release two venomous slug-like creatures into the room.  Obi-Wan and Anakin charge in, killing the slugs before they can bite Padmé, and, upon seeing the drone that released the slugs, Obi-Wan launches himself out the window, tagging a ride onto the drone.  Because I guess he thinks that doing so would lead him to the assassin.

This leads to this prolonged speeder chase through the futuristic city of Coruscant, with Anakin and Obi-Wan pursuing the assassin.  They eventually catch up to her in some bar (where we not only get an ironic bit of foreshadowing with Obi-Wan stating that Anakin will be the death of him but this really funny bit about death sticks, a type of drug that exists in this universe, as well.)  After apprehending the assassin, Obi-Wan and Anakin take her outside to question her. The assassin admits that she had been hired to kill Padmé by a bounty hunter.  But before they could get her to state the bounty hunter’s name, the assassin is struck by a poisonous dart that kills her almost instantly.  The two Jedi look up to see who fired the dart, only to see the bounty hunter in question flying off.

Here, the story splits off into two separate narratives.  Obi-Wan takes on the task of identifying the origin of the dart that killed the assassin, which in turn might help them identify the bounty hunter that ordered the hit on Padmé.  And the Jedi Council instruct Anakin to escort Padmé back to Naboo for her own safety. Yes, because that’s a brilliant idea. Let’s send the hormonal teenager off to be alone with the young woman he’s been crushing on.   I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen there.  While Obi-Wan does tell Yoda and Mace Windu, the two leaders of the Jedi Council, that he has his doubts that Anakin is ready to go on a mission on his own, the decision still stands.  As for Padmé, she is not at all pleased by the fact that she’s being sent back to Naboo. She’s worked too hard to try and put an end to the possibility that they’d create an Army of the Republic in response to the Separatist movement for her to not be there when the decision is made.  But she realizes she’s not being given much of a say in the matter, so she relents, albeit reluctantly, and instructs Jar Jar to stand in for her in the Senate.

In the Obi-Wan subplot, he ends up meeting up with an old friend of his named Dex, who works at a local diner.  We’re not given any context or explanation as to how Obi-Wan and Dex met, but it sounds like Dex once worked as a prospector on some other planet.  Obi-Wan arranged this meeting because, when he had the poison dart tested by a team of Analysis Droids, he was told that the dart’s markings could not be identified, and that it was probably custom-made by a warrior from no known society.  As Obi-Wan had hoped, Dex is able to identify the origin of the poison dart, announcing that it was most likely made by a group of cloners on a planet called Kamino. It’s briefly stated that the reason why the Analysis Droids couldn’t identify the dart was because they only look at symbols and therefore overlook the tell-tale cuts etched into the dart. (Obi-Wan also makes a comment about droids not being able to think.  Which sounds a bit iffy, to me.  Is Obi-Wan racist against Droids?)

However, when Obi-Wan returns to the Jedi temple to search through the archives, he cannot locate any information about the planetary system of Kamino.  And when he examines the star charts, the coordinates Dex gave him show nothing but empty space.  When he checks with the Jedi Librarian, she confidently tells him that if Kamino doesn’t show up in the Jedi archives, then it does not exist. It isn’t until Obi-Wan confers with Yoda, who is currently overseeing a lightsaber training sequence with a group of Jedi toddlers, that someone points out the obvious- that if Kamino does not show up in the archives, it means that someone purposely erased it from the star charts.  (Kinda weird how they needed a toddler to point that out to them.)  However, this explanation only deepens the mystery, as only someone from the Jedi order could have gotten enough access to the Jedi archives in order to erase the files on Kamino.  

With Anakin and Padmé’s subplot, things are a little less interesting.  It’s mostly just them exchanging dialogue, with topics ranging from Padmé’s childhood on Naboo to Anakin’s nightmares about his mother, how Anakin feels like Obi-Wan doesn’t have enough faith in him, etc. But, as one would predict, it gets to the point when Anakin starts to act on his attraction to Padmé.  It starts with him kissing her, and eventually he starts declaring that he’s in love with Padmé and he’s hoping that she feels the same way.

Now I’m really sorry to go off on a tangent, but I really can’t stomach the whole Anakin/Padmé romantic subplot they created in this movie.  Let’s think about it here.  When Anakin and Padmé met, they were nine and fourteen respectively.  And the cumulative amount of time they spent together was five days at the most.  After that point, Anakin went off to train as a Jedi and Padmé stayed behind on Naboo, and they had no form of contact of any sort for ten years.  And here’s Anakin, deciding that he’s completely in love with her. You can’t tell me this sounds even remotely like a healthy relationship.  Especially considering the fact that, since Anakin is 19 now, Padmé is 24.  That alone is probably a bit squicky.  I realize that it’s only a five year age gap, but generally speaking, 19-year-olds aren’t as mentally mature as a 24-year-old.

Even if you could ignore the age thing, I pretty much have the same problem with Anakin/Padmé that I did with Christine/Raul in Phantom of the Opera.  For those who aren’t familiar with that story, here’s a quick summation. Christine and Raul are childhood friends, but then their paths diverge and they don’t see each other for 10-15 years. When they do meet again, Raul invites Christine to supper, but she says ‘no, things have changed.’  And then Christine seems to fall in love with the Phantom. After that, Christine and Raul don’t talk or even interact with each other until the Phantom kills Joseph Buquet and Christine needs a shoulder to cry on.  At that point, Raul is all ‘Christine, I love you!’  And I’m left wondering where that even came from!

To be fair, in the case of Anakin and Padmé, at least the movie actually shows them talking and interacting with each other. But even then, I have a problem with it. For starters, it’s the fact that Anakin has probably rarely interacted with a young girl other than Padmé.  So his attraction to her seems more like an obsessive crush than real love, especially when he virtually starts to demand that she tell him if she feels the same way.  

While Padmé does hold her ground by informing him that them forming a relationship wouldn’t be possible, as she’s a senator and he made an oath to uphold the Jedi code which forbids him to form romantic attachments, she still seems to be falling for him in turn.  And I have no idea why she would like him in that way.  Because Anakin seems very unlikable most of the time.  For example, let’s look at the scene when Padmé is discussing the issue of the Separatist movement with Queen Jamilla (the new Queen of Naboo).  When the subject turns to Padmé’s safety, he starts acting a bit high and mighty when Padmé begins to explain what her plan will be, stating that he’s the one in charge.  Granted Padmé might have been a bit out of line when she talked over him by correcting Queen Jamillia’s attendant’s assumption that Anakin was a full-fledged Jedi, but even so.  But the biggest red flag comes when they’re having a picnic of sorts while they’re off in the Lake Country, a remote area of Naboo, where they start discussing the political system and how it works.  Anakin practically states that it might be better for the Republic to become a dictatorship instead of a democracy.  Padmé seems to dismiss his comment as if it were a joke, but… is that really something to joke about?

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has found his way to Kamino to continue his investigation.  Upon his arrival, he is surprised to find that he was expected, with Lama Su, the Prime Minister of Kamino, giving him a warm welcome. It turns out that, ten years ago, around the time of the last movie, a Jedi calling himself Sifo-Dyas had come to the planet and placed an order for a Clone Army to be used by the Republic. Even though he is able to school his expression, it’s clear that this new information has floored Obi-Wan, as the Jedi Council had no knowledge of any of this.  And Sifo-Dyas had reportedly been killed long before the Clone Army had been ordered.  When Obi-Wan questions Lama Su, it’s revealed that the Clone Army had been cloned from a bounty hunter called Jango Fett.  This obviously catches Obi-Wan’s attention, because he had been looking for a bounty hunter.  He asks if he could meet with Jango Fett himself.  When he’s brought to Jango’s room, they are greeted by Boba, Jango’s son. Or rather, Jango’s own personal mini-me. See, in addition to his sizable fee for being the original host of the Clone Army, Jango had requested one additional clone.  One that would not be subjected to the same genetic modification that the other clones went through to make them completely obedient soldiers and would also age at a natural rate.  That separate clone ended up being Boba, who Jango kept as a son.

Obi-Wan proceeds to ask Jango some questions.  Has he been to Coruscant recently?  And does he know Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas?  Jango responds to Obi-Wan’s questioning as casually as possible, stating that he never heard of Sifo-Dyas and that he was recruited by someone called Tyranus.  But it’s clear that the two are sizing each other up.  Obi-Wan leaves the moment he’s done questioning Jango, but Jango seems to suspect that Obi-Wan is suspicious of him, for he immediately tells Boba that they’re leaving, instructing his son to pack his things.

Before leaving the planet, Obi-Wan contacts Yoda and Mace Windu back on Coruscant, informing them of his discovery, along with his suspicion that Jango Fett is the same bounty hunter that ordered the hit on Padmé.  The two elder Jedi instruct Obi-Wan to bring Jango Fett to them for further questioning.  But before Obi-Wan could do anything, Jango Fett appears in his full bounty hunter armor, attacking him on the spot.  After a brief battle, Jango Fett and Boba attempt to get away, flying away from Kamino. However, Obi-Wan manages to track them down.  Despite Jango’s best efforts at shooting Obi-Wan down upon realizing that he’s being followed, Obi-Wan is able to tail the two to a planet called Geonosis. This planet turns out to be the home base of the Separatists.  Which include Nute Gunray and the Trade Federation, who are still in active service despite Palpatine and the Senate’s attempt to shut them down.  While investigating, Obi-Wan discovers that the Separatists, with the assistance of the Trade Federation, are building a Droid Army.  One so large that it will effortlessly overpower the Jedi and force the Republic to submit to their demands.  

Upon learning this, Obi-Wan realizes he must warn the Jedi Counsil and the Senate. But since his long-range transmitter was damaged by Jango Fett, he cannot relay a message directly to Coruscant. So he decides to send the message over to Anakin, with the instructions that Anakin pass the message on.  But as he’s sending the message, Obi-Wan is discovered by the Separatists and is captured.

While in the custody of the Separatists, Obi-Wan is approached by Count Dooku, the leader of the Separatists.  Count Dooku was the one who had oversaw the creation of the Clone Army, going under the alias of Darth Tyranus.  It turns out that Dooku was once the Jedi who had taught Obi-Wan’s late master, Qui-Gon. But Dooku and left the Jedi order because he lost faith in the Republic.  Since then, he had been taking orders from Darth Sidious, the same Sith Lord who had organized the invasion of Naboo.

Qui-Gon is a large topic in Obi-Wan and Dooku’s confrontation.  Obi-Wan, in response to Dooku’s statements that he wished the fallen Jedi was still around as he could have used his help, states that Qui-Gon would never have sided with the Separatists over the Republic and the Senate.  But Dooku tells Obi-Wan that he shouldn’t be so sure on that, stating that, unbeknownst to the Jedi Council, the Republic was actually under the control of the Sith.  He goes on to inform Obi-Wan of the existence of Darth Sidious, explaining how the Sith Lord had aided the Trade Federation during the Invasion of Naboo but had then betrayed them.  That had led to the members of the Trade Federation seeking Dooku out.  Obi-Wan, however, doesn’t seem to believe Dooku’s claims of the Senate being controlled by Darth Sidious and announces he refuses to join Dooku.  Upon learning that Obi-Wan is unwilling to aid the Separatist movement, Dooku pretty much announces that he won’t make an attempt to free him.

Now, I’m a bit confused here, to be honest.  Dooku states that he knows Darth Sidious was behind the invasion of Naboo, but he ultimately double crossed the Trade Federation, which led to them seeking his help.  But Dooku is also shown to be taking orders from Dath Sidious, and has become his new apprentice, taking Darth Maul’s place.  But… if he knew Darth Sidious had simply used the Trade Federation as pawns, why would Dooku ally himself with the Sith Lord?  And why would he intentionally have the Clone Army manufactured to aid the Republic, knowing that they would be used to fight the Separatists that he is the leader of?   What exactly does Dooku think the plan is here?  (Granted, I think I know what Darth Sidious’ master plan is, but what does Dooku think it is?)

While all of this was going on, Anakin had found his nightmares involving his mother were getting worse.  This leads to him suspecting something was very wrong.  So, even though doing so is violating his orders to remain on Naboo with Padmé, he decides to journey back to Tatooine.  Padmé, understanding how important this is for him, agrees to go with him.  When they arrive on Tatooine, they head over to Watto’s place.  Obviously, Watto doesn’t recognize the older Anakin. Until Anakin effortlessly fixes the machine Watto was trying to repair.  Once he does recognize the young Jedi in front of him as the little boy he once knew, Watto is clearly pleased to see him.  Admittedly, I rather like this scene.  While Watto did keep Anakin as a slave, this scene made me think that he did have a certain level of affection for the boy.  However, when Anakin asks about Shmi, Watto admits that he’d sold her to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars a few years ago.  He goes on to inform Anakin that Cligg had eventually fallen in love with Shmi and proceeded to free and marry her.  So Anakin and Padmé make their way over to the Lars household, where they are greeted by Cliegg’s son, Owen, and his girlfriend, Beru.  They also are reunited with C-3PO, the Protocol Droid Anakin had been building before he’d left Tatooine with Qui-Gon in the last movie.  C-3PO has pretty much been completed since then.  When Anakin left Tatooine, he’d pretty much just been an exoskeleton.  But now, someone had completed him by adding coverings.  I wonder who it was who finished building 3PO, because it’s never stated.

Unfortunately, Cleigg, Owen and Beru have bad news for Anakin.  A month earlier, Shmi had been out gathering mushrooms when the Tuskin Raiders had attacked and abducted her.  Why they would abduct a random woman, I have no idea.  Cleigg and the other moisture farmers had attempted a rescue, but most of them ended up dying in the attempt, with Cleigg losing a leg. Naturally, they weren’t able to organize a second rescue attempt, and as time went on, even Cleigg gave up hope, believing Shmi was most likely dead.  Anakin, however, refuses to accept this and heads off on his own to find his mother.  After a long search, he locates the Tuskin Raider settlement and quickly finds a badly injured Shmi tied up inside one of the huts.  Anakin tries to untie his mother, but it’s too late, as she only has enough strength to look at her son one last time before succumbing to her injuries.  Anakin’s grief of seeing his mother dying quickly shifts to utter rage, and he retaliates by turning his lightsaber on the Tuskin Raiders, massacring every single one of them. Anakin’s rage is so great, Yoda is able to sense it from across the galaxy.

Anakin brings his mother’s body back to the Lars homestead, where she is given a proper burial. In the aftermath of the tragedy, Padmé tries to console Anakin, who is still angry over the situation.  He starts to announce that he feels that he could have been able to save her if he’d only been stronger and vows that he’ll one day become the most powerful Jedi ever, even strong enough to prevent people from dying.  He even stats placing the blame on Obi-Wan, accusing his mentor of purposely keeping him from reaching his full potential out of jealousy. Now, I acknowledge that Anakin is obviously grieving and needs time to reach the final stage of acceptance.  But I don’t think Padmé was much help here. Because I think she really should have done a better attempt at gently counseling him through his grieving by telling him that, while his mother’s death was a terrible tragedy, death was simply a part of the natural order of all things, and that preventing it was inadvisable.  Then again, I suppose Padmé can’t be expected to be a therapist.

However, this is when the warning bells really start going off.  Anakin announces that he killed everyone in the Tuskin Raider settlement.  Including the women and children.  I really don’t get how Padmé wasn’t alarmed by the fact that Anakin admitted to committing genocide without any ounce of remorse.  I’m no expert, but that’s really not the kind of behavior befitting of a Jedi.  Or anyone else, for that matter.

But there’s no time to dwell on this, because this is when R2-D2, who had been tagging along with Anakin and Padmé, rolls up, telling them of Obi-Wan’s message. Anakin heeds Obi-Wan’s request by sending the transmission on to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.  But Padmé decides that they should also head off to rescue Obi-Wan, since they’re much closer to Geonosis.  Anakin, doing the right thing for once, points out that he was instructed by Obi-Wan to stay put.  But Padmé counters this by reminding him that he was tasked to protect her.  Since she is going to Geonosis to save Obi-Wan, he’ll have to with her if he’s to uphold his duties as her protector.

So off they go to Geonosis.  And when they arrive, we do get a rather tense sequence when Separatists Droids attack the pair in the middle of a Droid manufacturing factory.  After that scene goes on for a while, Anakin and Padmé are also captured.  The Separatists, while being egged on by Nute Gunrey, end up sentencing the two to death, and they’re both taken into a giant arena to be executed by means of large alien beasts: a mantis-like Acklay, a rhino-like Reek and a cat-like Nexu.  (On a side note, I adore the design of the Nexu.  I’d love to have one as a pet.)  But before being taken into the arena for their execution, Padmé confesses her love to Anakin and the two kiss.  Still don’t know what Padmé saw in him, though.

Upon being taken into the arena, they are reunited with Obi-Wan, who is to be executed alongside them.  Before the three alien beast that are to kill them can reach them, however, they all manage to break free and start taking on one of the beasts.  Obi-Wan battles the Acklay, Anakin, after a moment, manages to tame the Reek with the Force, and Padmé faces off against the Nexu, until Anakin and his Reek come to her aid.

And that’s when Mace Windu and the other Jedi appear on the scene, having had arrived off-camera.  They had received Obi-Wan’s message and acted accordingly.  An entire fight scene erupts.  During the fight, Mace Windu ends up facing off against Jango Fett. This battle ultimately ends with Jango getting his head chopped off by Mace Windu’s lightsaber, with Young Boba Fett watching from the shadows.  (We later see Young Boba Fett claiming his dead father’s helmet.)  Also, we get an on-going attempt at slapstick humor with C-3PO. During the scene in the Droid manufacturing factory, 3PO had inadvertently fallen into the works, thanks in part to R2-D2 pushing him off a platform.  During this battle scene, the whole thing continues, with 3PO’s head affixed to the body of a Soldier Droid, and vice-versa.  There’s no real point to this, other than to show how utterly useless 3PO is.  (I’m sorry, but outside of Return of the Jedi, does 3P0 ever contribute anything worthwhile to these movies?)

Eventually, however, the Jedi find themselves outnumbered by the Separatist’s Droid Army. But before they can be gunned down, Yoda appears out of nowhere, accompanied by the Clone Army from Kamino. Yoda and the Clones are able to help Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padmé and the surviving Jedi escape.  But the fight is not over yet, and the Separatists and Clones continue their battle outside the Separatist’s stronghold.  After a long battle scene, the Separatists decide to evacuate their base.  But before they do so, they gather up blueprints for….a familiar looking space station, stating that they can’t let the Republic see what they’re planning to build.

Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padmé, however set their sights on Count Dooku.  As they’re making their way to catch up to Count Dooku, Padmé ends up falling from the helicopter-like craft.  (She’s okay, of course.)  Anakin’s first instinct is to go back for her, but Obi-Wan eventually gets him to relent, reminding him of the matter at hand- they have a duty to stop Dooku.

They eventually catch up to Dooku and Anakin, headstrong as ever, charges in blindly. To nobody’s surprise, Dooku tosses him aside effortlessly, utilizing Force Lightning.  This leads to a lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Dooku.  But Dooku manages to even overwhelm Obi-Wan. Before Dooku can finish him off, Anakin, having gotten his second wind, comes back for a rematch, using both his and Obi-Wan’s lightsabers.  During this fight, Anakin not only gets his lightsaber destroyed, but gets his hand chopped off.  So now, both Anakin and Obi-Wan have been defeated.  But before Dooku can do anything, Yoda suddenly appears on the scene. Here, it’s revealed that, much like Qui-Gon was Dooku’s apprentice, Dooku was once Yoda’s apprentice.

And it’s Master vs. Apprentice.  They quickly decide that their fight won’t go anywhere if they simply rely on their mastery of the Force, as they’re pretty evenly matched in that regard.  So they engage in a lightsaber duel.  And it is awesome. Not to mention helps ensure Yoda’s place as my all-time favorite Star Wars character.  While I suppose you might end up questioning why Yoda bothers with that cane of his if he can move like that during a lightsaber battle, I think it makes sense.  The cane might be there as a reminder that you shouldn’t judge someone on outward appearance.  It might be Yoda’s way of playing on the expectations of others.  That or he can only go without the cane for short periods of time.  There are people who can walk for short distances but still need wheelchairs because they can’t be on their feet for an extended period of time.

In the end, however, Dooku resorts to an underhanded method, causing a heavy pipe to fall towards Obi-Wan and Anakin.  Yoda is forced to redirect his attention into stopping the pipe from crushing the two, but this enables Dooku to get away.  So Yoda is left alone with Obi-Wan an Anakin, with Padmé and one of the Clone Soldiers arriving on the scene shortly afterwards.  The Clone Soldier informs Yoda that the Clone Army has won the battle against the Separatists.

In the aftermath of the battle of Geonosis, the people of the Republic prepare for war with the Separatists.  The Senate had been informed of the Droid Army the Separatists were forming and, in response, decided to award emergency powers to Palpatine, at Jar Jar’s suggestion, which allowed Palpatine to approve the use of the Clone Army against the Separatists. (There was an earlier scene when Palpatine pretty much coerced Jar Jar into thinking it was a good idea.)  The situation is clearly devastating to Yoda, who announces that the Clone War has officially begun.

Meanwhile, Anakin, whose missing hand has been replaced with a mechanical one, has escorted Padmé back to her home on Naboo.  Before he returns to Coruscant, however, they have a secret wedding ceremony, with R2 and 3PO as their only witnesses.  Because they’ve apparently forgotten about Padmé’s earlier statement that it would be a bad idea for them to enter into a secret relationship.  I guess their near-death experience on Geonosis made them rethink things a bit.  Either way, I still don’t see why we’re supposed to be rooting for this particular couple.

Next week, we’ll be looking at the 2008 movie, Clone Wars.  Which is a movie I haven’t seen before starting this particular project. Here’s hoping it’s good.

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