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sarahdogoc80 · 6 months ago

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I do plan on making a longer post about addiction specifically in late 90's till the opiate crisis in 2015 and how doctors, business and money led to the epidemic/ tragedy. And what it was like on the ground floor rather then just hearing about it form the news/ propaganda but it will take me a few days to get everything in order.

But because Lily is stupid here is a quick note. Weed can't kill you like say heroin or meth can. Say if you have asthma and smoke it and die of an asthma attack. You can't blame weed specifically because the smoke and your medical condition is what did it. Any smoke would have set off your asthma so it can't be blamed on weed specifically. Especially because you don't even have to smoke weed anymore you can ingest it through gummies, candy, or any bake good that requires butter. And if they'd had done it that way they would most likely be fine.

The way heroin kills you is because it's a depressant which means it slows down the body. And what happens when you OD your brain just doesn't remember to breathe/ perform it's basic functions. Weed isn't strong enough to do this in really any form. Unless her uncle was part of some super experiment run by the CIA to get him higher then he's ever been. Then a human just can't consume the amount of weed to kill you by themselves. Your body breaks weed down decently fast. Another less common way opiates kill is by over loading the kidneys and liver causing those to shut down. Thought this death usually takes years to build up to and your more likely to die from the first way. Alcohol, Xanax, and other downer usually also kill you by making you forget to breath or overloading a vital an organ.

The other way drugs kills is the speeders. Which weed definitely isn't but for arguments sake speed kills you usually by rupturing your heart or putting you in cardiac arrest. It's not at all a painless or quite death if your around other people and dying of a speeder over does is pretty painful from what I've heard.

Then there is other drugs like psychedelics I guess. But I've never heard of someone dying of that. Honestly I've never even seen a claim of that. But while I'm sure there is a way it's not at all common knowledge. Nor do I know how you could. My grandpa used to say it has it's limits to how well it can work then hits a wall and can't do anything else. Plus if you wanted to eat like 5 lb of magic mushrooms good luck with that. They taste like literal cow shit and if there is too much your body will just make you throw it up.

Also just as another side note I grew up with a hippie grandfather and stoner grandmother and stoner parents and non of them have died from weed dispite some of them smoking for longer then Lily has even been a twinkle in her daddy's eye. And if you have beef with a stoner Lily then that is literally on you. They usually don't want negative people around who makes them feel like shit because they are smoking weed. They usually just want to hang.

Edit: the Adderall Lily takes even as percriped is more unhealthy then weed. They had to start testing my brother's heart and a couple other organs because Adderall has a risk of damaging organs even if taken as percriped. If you've been taking it for years you should know this. Unless you just didn't listen to your doctor and just smiled and said "yeah totally" till they give you your script.

If Lily went to collage (especially for a therapy degree) she should also understand addiction and why just telling them to stop. Then blaming them when they don't is exactly how the company that owed Oxycodine tried to weasel out of the lawsuits. So atleast Lily is consistent with bootlicking as long as she benefits from it.

Good to see you're not hiding just how much of a cruel, callous, ignorant, lying piece of shit you are these days, Lily.

"I look down on junkies. I have no sympathy for them." Way to display you have no fucking understanding of why or how drug addictions even start, you rancid bitch.

"Weed killed my uncle" so now we're just outright peddling reefer-madness era bullshit. It's impossible to OD on weed. Whatever happened to your uncle had nothing to do with fuckin weed.

The reason you haven't met any of the majority of normal ass chill weed users is because your vibes are a black hole and nobody wants to be around that when they're trying to chill out and relax.

#lily orchard #drug awareness #lily orchard critical #Weed killed my family they beat me up and took my money and house.

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etsuven · 2 years ago

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etsuven's first kinktober: day 1/8

day 1| day 2| day 3| day 4| day 5| day 6| day 7| day 8|

rating: smut cw: light cursing includes: dom reader ofc, corruption kink though like not really idk, xiao is very supportive of and patient with his lover it's very cute, it's not like full smut there's plot and stuff but it does take a bit to get there, inexperienced! xiao and kind of experienced! reader, reader licks up a bit of xiao's... and kisses him summary: xiao learns about how lovely pleasure is...

note: hello! welcome to my first kinktober!! as those of you who are regulars may know already, i am AWFUL with schedules and writing frequently, which is the reason why im doing only 4 days instead of the regular 31. for a little summary, i will be posting something kinktober related every monday of october! (my original plan was to do mondays and fridays but i'm running late on my writing so only mondays for now! though i am planning to post the friday ones as well.) hopefully i can satisfy you guys this year!

nighttime tended to be your favorite part of the day. you could wind down, distance yourself from the things that happened that day, and let your mind run wild.

but sometimes, your thoughts ran a bit too wild.

thoughts of you and your boyfriend of a little over a year in increasingly scandalous positions ran through your mind, making your face warm up in embarrassment at just how vulgar they were. images of you on top of him, his face flushed bright pink as he moaned out just for you, begging you to just let him-

you kept yourself from going further in an attempt to keep the pure nature of your boyfriend from becoming tainted. he was so sweet, and he always made sure you were satisfied and happy before he left to do his duties. but sadly, you knew you couldn't keep the feelings at bay.

you couldn't keep this to yourself for much longer, so with a shaky voice, you called the name of your lover.

xiao appeared in front of you, jade spear in hand as a rush of wind swept through the room. you shivered, your loose pajamas waving around you and brushing against your skin.

"is something wrong?" he spoke, his soft yet raspy voice reaching your ears. hearing a soft tap against the ground, you looked up at your lover from your bed, watching the gold particles from his weapon disappear into the air.

you began to play with your fingers, and xiao took that as a signal to sit in front of you and wait until you had the courage to speak. even though it took a few seconds and deep breaths to calm your heart down, you finally decided to speak up about what had been plaguing your mind.

"xiao," you started, your voice soft. you were always confident in speaking about what you desired from your boyfriend, but it seemed to be so hard right now. perhaps it was because you felt dirty about it? taking in another deep breath, you looked xiao in his eyes.

"how... how do you feel about being more intimate?" the words rushed out of your mouth, and you watched as your lovers' eyes widened, his cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink as he attempted to process what you had just said. "you- you mean... sex?"

nodding quickly, you scooted closer to the man, holding his hand as a way to keep him calm. "well, yes... i've been thinking of it for a while now, and i was wondering if you'd be willing to try it one day."

xiao took a while to answer, as his thoughts were currently running wild. don't get him wrong, he definitely wanted to do this with you, and he had definitely thought of you in a less than innocent way at one point, but he had no idea what to do.

xiao gulped nervously, making eye contact with you before speaking. "i'd like to do it with you- but you might need to teach me a few things..."

and that's how you ended up straddling your boyfriend, one leg in between his and the other next to his waist as you made out. xiao's hand was tangled in the thin fabric of your shirt, soft moans and whimpers leaving your mouths as your tongues grazed against one another.

you pulled away with a gasp, watching with awe the strand of saliva that kept the two of you connected. xiao inhaled sharply through his nose, throwing his head back as he tried to steady his shaky hand. clearly had been affected by the kiss, but you didn't have to look at him to know the effects you had on him.

after all, your leg was pressed up right against his semi-hard cock.

the two of you looked at each other with half lidded eyes, and you smiled at the sight of xiao's flushed cheeks. unable to resist the urge, you leaned down to kiss them, grinning more at the small laugh he let out before the sound quickly tapered out into a gasp.

you began to kiss down his neck, reveling in the feeling of your lover pulling harder at your shirt. a particular kiss made him flinch and gasp again. "what- what was that?..."

you laughed, and xiao began to squirm at the feeling of your breath against his neck. he went into this knowing that it would feel nice, but the two of you hadn't even gotten to the good stuff yet, and he was already a mess. who knew how long he would last when you eventually went even further...

"your neck must be sensitive. if i suck at it a bit, it'll leave a mark," you spoke, taking a quick lick at the sensitive spot. "would you like me to leave a mark?"

xiao nodded quickly, and you grinned at his eagerness.

you began to suck and nibble at the spot, and the reaction from your lover was instant. he grasped at the back of your shirt, almost pulling it off of you as he used it as leverage. a choked moan left his mouth, and he threw his head back against the pillow at the feeling of you nibbling at his neck.

feeling something move against your thigh, you looked down, noticing that xiao had begun to unconsciously grind against you. leaving a quick kiss to soothe the steadily forming bruise, you reached down, brushing your hand against his clothed cock.

"can i touch you?" the sudden whisper surprised your boyfriend, but he quickly found himself nodding, his heart beating wildly as he watched you pull his pants down. his cock gently slapped against his stomach, twitching slightly at the cold air against it.

you wrapped your hand around it, and at that moment- xiao couldn't think. he could only focus on how warm your hand was, how you squeezed him just tight and- oh, god, you were moving it.

he wouldn't last long, and both of you knew it.

you began to quickly pump his cock, basking in the sounds of his moans as he tried to squirm away from the sensitive feeling. the sticky sound of you jerking him off and his moans echoed through the air, clouding your mind with a hazy feeling.

"fuck, could you-" xiao gasped, grasping at the now wrinkled sheets on your bed. he continued to squirm, and occasionally he would cry out and move in a way that made his pretty back arch. "just squeeze the top of your hand a bit, please, i'm so close!"

the last few words jumbled together into one long word as you did what he said, a small thought of if he ever touched himself like this crossing through your mind.

a chorus of 'yes's' and 'please's' echoed through the room as xiao's breathing began to quicken, ultimately culminating in a muffled moan into a pillow that had somehow gotten into his arms and over his face.

some of his cum splattered onto your hand, and a little bit went onto the bottom of his shirt and the bedsheets. you looked at the substance on your hand with, taking note of how xiao was staring at you with half lidded eyes as he basked in his post orgasm feeling. it wouldn't hurt to tease him a bit more, right?

you licked a long stripe up your hand, picking up the droplets of his cum and watching as his eyes widened in shock. xiao sat up quickly, about to pull your hand away from your mouth before you placed your clean hand on the side of his neck.

you pulled him in, kissing him and feeling as he melted into your touch, moaning slightly at the taste of himself. you pulled away, smirk on your lips as you took in his flushed expression.

"that was dirty." he spoke, voice shaky and slightly hoarse from him moaning. you shrugged, pressing your forehead against his and watching as his eyes closed at the soft contact. "i know. want to go a bit further?"

your boyfriend let out a small 'yes', and leaned in to kiss you for what definitely wouldn't be the last time that night.

taglist

@yourlocal-bunny

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #xiao #genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #sub genshin #sub genshin impact #sub xiao #dom reader #kinktober 2022 #etsuven's kinktober 2022

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the28thofseptemberr · 4 years ago

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helloooo!! i didn't do a fic rec last month because i was so busy with my exams and barely had time to read, so this month's post is going to comprise of mostly fics i've read in june but also some i've read in may.

thank you to all of the incredible writers, please go support them!! and remember to read all of the tags and possible warnings before reading the fic! here is the list of fics (mostly below the cut):

read

•° — led by your beating heart by @missandrogyny 29.4k | E | famous harry/non-famous louis

Nick leans over. "Oh," he says, his voice smug. "Who is that?"

Harry just blinks at his phone. "Um," he manages to stammer out.

"Who's that, Harry?" Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he's not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another 'um'. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn't be any help right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

"Oh," Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry's distress. "Looks like we've got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?"

Her number. So Nick thinks it's a girl. Well, Harry can't blame him: 'Lou' is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist's name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he's kind of, really, really not a girl. He's really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry's in One Direction, Louis isn't, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete'.)

note: this was so funny and cute and well written, and everyone was characterized so perfectly!! i adored the chemistry between louis and harry, this fic kept me smiling for the whole time while i was reading <3

•° — sounds like love to me by @neondiamond 14.6k | G | kid fic

“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

Louis watches as Harry’s face falls with the realization that this is one of those things he won’t be able to experience. For a second, Louis considers saying no, to show Harry they’re truly on the same boat through all of this. But he nods in the end, reaching over for Harry’s hand as the doctor flips a switch. Noise fills the room then, and it takes a few seconds for the sound to become clear enough for Louis to make out the baby’s fast heartbeat.

“It’s really fast,” he voices his thoughts out loud as he uses his thumb to tap against the back of Harry’s hand, replicating the rapid rhythm of the baby’s heartbeat. It takes the younger man a little while to figure out what Louis’ doing, but a huge grin breaks out on his face as soon as he does.

“Is that them?” He signs with the other hand, his own eyes starting to tear up when Louis nods.

OR: Harry is deaf, Louis is pregnant. They figure it out.

note: i'm not a fan of mpreg or kid fics in general, but i stumbled across the fic post for this on my dash and the summary sounded really intriguing to me, so i had a go at reading and it did not disappoint!! it was really sweet and fluffy but also so touching and heartbreaking in some parts. plus, i really enjoyed how harry and louis worked together and supported each other.

•° — this restless dream by @afirethatcannotdie 5.6k | NR | first meetings

“Hiii, I called earlier about the dogs?” he asks, taking a few steps closer to the desk where Louis is standing. He’s taller than Louis, with a dimple when he smiles and bright green eyes. There's a cute eagerness about his whole presence. “Do you have any puppies?” He’s a bit like a puppy himself, actually.

AU. Louis works at an animal shelter and Harry wants a puppy. Things don't go quite according to plan.

note: this was so so adorable and soft, especially since i have a soft spot for h&l with pets. i also have a soft spot for h&l being oblivious lovesick idiots and this was perfect!!

•° — all i see is you, lately by @runaway-train-works 2k | G | first meetings

Harry noticed him for the first time three months ago. He couldn’t not, really, what with the man being so pretty and all, and Harry remembers it well because it was three days before his birthday and he had joked to himself that seeing someone so gorgeous for three days on the trot must be an early present from the Gods.

The one where Harry has a crush on a fellow commuter.

note: this one was quite short but so sweet and perfect and lovely!!

•° — the things i'd do to wake up next to you by orphan_account 36.1k | M | amnesia fic

AU. Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

note: this fic was incredible, i'm always up for an amnesia fic and this one was heart-breaking and realistic but also sweet and fluffy as well :)

•° — this glorious mess by theweightofmywords 14.2k | M | post-breakup

His head lolls to the side, and his eyes float open to focus on what used to be his bedside table.

It’s empty now, devoid of the framed photo of the two of them. And Louis knows that he has no right to feel hurt, but somehow, this only confirms what this really is.

“This is the last time,” he cries, his voice breaking both from pleasure and pain.

“I know, baby,” Harry breathes, burying his face in Louis neck.

note: this is the third mpreg-centric fic i've read this month and... i don't even like mpreg?? but god the premise of this fic intrigued me so much, and it was lovely and emotional and beautifully written.

•° — BLAH BLAH BLAH there's a moment you know (you're f*cked) by @mercurial-madhouse 3.2k | M | spy au

Anyone impulsive enough to betray their country is either foolish or overly-confident. Louis’s too cunning for the former. So his inflated ego tips precariously close to the edge between pride and hubris. In sum: He may be an expert, (as proven by the .32-cal Beretta Alleycat Harry found strapped to his back) but ex-agent Louis Tomlinson will explode like a busted bullet misfiring in a broken gunbarrel if Harry can find his trigger.

___

Or, the spy AU in which Harry thinks he's prepared to meet Louis only to find he's not.

note: the banter and tension in this fic was so good and so fun!! i need moreee

•° — every lonely place by @ham-palpert 38k | E | time travel/alternate lives fic

Facing the fact that he’s been prioritizing his career over his relationship, Harry proposes to his longtime boyfriend Louis on a whim. But when yet another work emergency takes precedence over their plans, Louis decides he’s had enough. Harry goes to bed drunk and alone, and when he wakes, he finds himself in an entirely different world. Over and over again, Harry visits a lifetime he’s once lived, across time and dimensions. And wherever there’s a Harry Styles, there’s a Louis Tomlinson.

note: this was such a unique fic! and such an emotional one too, love the message it sends and the character arc and development was so good

•° — tick-tock by bubblegumclouds 6k | G | soulmate au

When Louis was born to Jay Tomlinson with a tiny 2 years on his clock, it starts the most beautiful love story. Even if things are missed, fate finds a way to make it work.

note: this was just so, so cute and fluffy and sweet! i loved it

•° — baby baby, you're a caramel macchiato by @missandrogyny 3.2k | T | coffee shop au

So, yeah, Harry doesn't think it's that far of a stretch to call himself a good barista. There are some particularly bad ones, and some particularly good ones, and, with his work ethic, his skill, and his charm, he'd probably be lumped in with the latter group.

note: this was so lovely, and i especially really loved the little section talking about louis' name and how it suits him!

re-read

•° — one shines brighter by @afirethatcannotdie 11.8k | T | wedding fic

“Hi, baby. You doing anything fun today?” Harry shrugs. “Dunno. Thought I’d see how I was feeling before making any plans.” “You wanna get married?” Louis asks. Harry’s face breaks into a smile, and he nods. Louis’ lips are just brushing Harry’s when Gemma appears in the hallway. “You two are in so much trouble.” Harry's wedding was never supposed to be the happiest day of his life. No, that was going to be the day after, when he finally got to start his marriage. Unfortunately his family (and Louis) have other ideas.

Featuring a pair of moms who only want the best for their kids, meddling sisters with too much time on their hands, and a groom who gets caught up in the fairytale.

note: i adore this fic!! it's so so so adorable and so soft and well written, and you can feel how in love h&l are with each other. so so good!

my own fics

•° — under your bed in new york 33.4k | T | exes to lovers

"We know you're still in love with Harry."

Louis' nostrils flared up. "I'm not—"

"Louis."

"I'm not!"

there are many things louis likes to tell himself. we broke up for a reason. it's been so many years. and of course, the classic: i’ve definitely moved on from him. but when he suddenly finds harry back in his life after three years, louis realizes he might be a little less moved on than he thought.

au; spilling coffee onto an ex, being set up on dates, and having a nosy puppy might be all louis needs to find love again

note: i didn't actually write or publish this one this month, but i did edit, revamp and make a fic post for it this month so i thought i'd put it in here anyway. reblog the fic post here!

#28th appreciation #tracksintheam #trackinghome #hl source #1d source #fic rec #my fic rec #2021 recs #fic list #june rec #june 2021 rec #*#sched

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katnissdoesnotfollowback · 3 years ago

Note

15, 16, 19?

15. How do you think your writing as improved over time?

I think I've gotten better at planning out ahead of time before I get too far into the writing process, as opposed to the flying by the seat of my pants method I really started out using for the most part, and in my opinion I think that's helped me rely a little less on deux ex machina or overused tropes, as well as helped me you know... punch through to finishing the story even if it's something I come back to years later, but somehow I am still THAT writer who says this will be M number of chapters and it winds up being Q number of chapters or X number of chapters somehow, so I could also be completely pulling this answer out of my ass ahahaha someone please help and tell me the right answer. *crying laughing emoji here*

16. Do you re-read old fics? Is there a time in your writing you won’t go back to?

Every so often, I'll go back and skim for a variety of reasons. Someone asks a question and I can't remember exactly. There's a sudden flood of comments on a story for one reason or another and reading back through some of it is a bit of a confidence boost, like oh hey! I did do something pretty cool there. And also because after ahahaha ten years in this fandom, all of them writing fanfic and at least eight of those years actively posting fanfic all from the same source material, there are times when I think "No you can't write that line you've already used it..." and then I doubt myself. Or when I'm composing a scene that's similar to one I've already written, I'll go back to that scene to see if there's an interesting new way I can twist it on it's head or something to set it apart. And I will definitely go reread one of my fics if it has been languishing without an update for awhile and I'm trying to get back into writing it. That's one method I use for slipping back into that voice, that world, maybe picking up on a foreshadowing detail I'd forgotten about and teasing that out to get into the story again. So, yes! I do.

At the moment, I won't go back to what I was writing from about late 2014 to late 2015 mainly because those fics... man alive more of them are unfinished and neglected than the rest and I lack the courage to even look at them when I have these shiny new fics over here to finish! (watch jenagill poke her head into my notes here with her insane sixth sense about ampersand...)

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

omg I don't know. Should have thought about this more before I posted the questions. I feel like an ideal fic to me includes the elements and tropes that it needs to include, if that makes sense. Every story is different, every fanfic is different to me, so when I'm writing, I try to think about what the story needs to work, and if I can pull it off, and make people feel the kinds of things I want to feel when I'm reading, then it's as close to my ideal as I can get.

But like... I dunno I'm kind of trope trash so don't make me choose!

Thanks for the ask, love!

Ask me something deep lol

#rosegardeninwinter #look at that ask #ask me the deep stuff

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caitsyoi · 4 years ago

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I made a post about the Seraphites, so now I want to make one about the WLF. This post is mostly about the WLF's home base, aka the stadium and the area immediately around it. I've included some of my favorite pictures, and my thoughts and observations about where they live and their culture.

Under the cut again to keep things nice and clean.

I gotta say, this blew my mind when I first saw this as Abby. The WLF really have their shit together. Multiple power sources, a bunch of the resources FEDRA left behind, and multiple food sources. The field has cattle, sheep, and chickens plus some farming. On the steps they have even more areas for farming. They have a way to collect water, and even people to design and string up their logo everywhere.

It makes sense, supposedly thousands of people live here (you can't see it unless except via glitch, but there is also baseball stadium immediately next to this that they might also occupy).

We only see where Abby and other soldiers (perhaps squad leaders?) live. They have a pretty cushy life, two per luxury box (the rooms NFL teams overcharge for that run along the upper level of stadiums). Mel also mentions a special area for young families, I wouldn't be surprised if these areas were further divided. Perhaps there is also housing for larger families and single people who aren't soldiers or squad leaders. I very much wonder if those who join the military get better housing than those that work as farmers (or dishwashers, teachers, laundry washers, cooks, etc.). As mentioned earlier, Abby and Manny live in a luxury box, and there are 112 of those in the stadium this is based on. That's housing for 224 people, if they all live like the people in Abby's hallway. That would mean there has to be more housing in other parts of the stadium.

This stadium was once used by FEDRA, and you can see the concrete barriers they left behind along the edge of the field. They have to have more cattle than this, to feed all the people that supposedly live under the WLF. There is farmland around the stadium (more on that later), so maybe they mostly let them graze out there, then move some in when they plan on slaughtering them soon.

I love that they have wind turbines AND solar panels. You can see the influence that the Fireflies had on Issac and the WLF, they really focus on stability and restoring what was lost (at least when it comes to comfort). So they have electricity, sustainable food sources (and multiple kinds too), and a way to collect water (you can't see it in this shot, but they use a system similar to Jackson's, just on a much wider scale).

They teach a curriculum similar to what was taught to kids before the outbreak. We only see two classrooms, but from what I can tell they try to give the gives the type of education they could have received in the old days (as best they can, at least). Both the teachers you see are pretty young, which makes me wonder who taught them.

Most of the kinds you see in class are pretty young, like less than 10. These look a little order (they are outside the stadium in the market area, which I will talk about more a little later). I wonder how long WLF children are required to attend school (I think I saw a sign for 1st through 6th grade, so at least that?). I imagine they get a basic education with some broad looks into various topics, and maybe the ones most apt for study are selected to do specialized careers like teaching or meteorology. Other children are probably pushed into farming or the military portion of the WLF. Regardless of what they study, they probably also get a heavy dose of WLF propaganda. That aligns with how gung-ho many of them are to fight.

I wonder if military service is compulsory, like everyone has has to do at least so much time and then they can do other things if they want. Or maybe they make it so you don't have to fight if you don't want to, but those that do get better perks.

Most of the WLF you see appear to be in their 20's or 30's, or at least the fighters. That would mean they have spent most (if not all) of their lives under military rule, and they would have a special allegiance to the WLF since they manage things so much better than FEDRA did. Plus, you know, all that propaganda. I imagine they are told a lot about how the WLF is restoring society and how the WLF saved them from FEDRA/Scars/infected.

Sorta related, I thought of an WLF AU. Ellie grows up in Seattle under the WLF, perhaps with Riley and Dina and the other characters from canon. So many interesting things can be done with this, but that's for another post maybe.

This is one the cafeteria's the WLF use. I believe this is one of a few, although this is the only one you see. There is also a butcher and small market for clothing and items here too. They prepare food here, but I think the majority of cooking is done in an area set up for it in the stands.

They have posted meal times for groups A-F, and separate meal times for children and the late night patrol. So maybe this is the only cafeteria? Each end is blocked off, so maybe they use some of the corridor that circles the stadium for more living quarters.

This is also community space where they can play games, chat, or read. There also seems to be a mix of soldiers and other workers eating together, as well as young families (there is at least 1 or 2 women with young babies in here).

This little detail was super cute to me, but it also tells you a lot about WLF society. Everyone has a job to do, there is a role and place for everyone to contribute.

I'll talk more about this in another post (titled "It's Silly to Call a Post-apocalyptic Group 'Fascists', but Still the WLF Is Pretty Messed Up"), but an important thing to remember about the WLF is that everything comes down to Issac. He has the final say on everything, he makes all the major decisions, he picks squad leaders, he decides who needs to be punished, he's basically the Supreme Leader. Issac has been shown to be somewhat progressive with some things (you can follow whatever religion you want or none at all in the WLF, the WLF has no problem with LGBTQ people, you can get medical waivers for military duty, they provide support for pregnant women and parents, etc.), and in other ways he is very much the opposite (he punishes anyone who disagrees with him - this could be a relatively light punishment of a crappy assignment or it could be a beating, then there's the whole attempted genocide thing). Anyway, my point is that there are good things about the WLF, but also there is a serious darkside.

Anyway, when I saw this lady and her baby I immediately thought of Dina doing this with JJ while she gardens.

I absolutely loveeeee this little detail. A mural for the fallen. This really reminds me of some stuff you could see today, just replace the wolf with an eagle and make the uniforms camo.

There are 46ish names on this wall, so I wonder if it is continuously updated or if there are multiple murals, because they definitely have lost more people than that over the years. Also, there are about 150 people at the FOB (the amount of bodies at the FOB, yes I counted) that will need to be added. Maybe the war with the Seraphites just really exploded in the last few weeks (or maybe longer) leading up to Ellie's arrival.

I love that you can pause during the ride with Abby, Mel, and Manny to look around the outside of the stadium. Immediately outside there are train tracks and what appears to be a large market running along side of it. This is on the west side of the stadium, I believe. A major highway intersection is also nearby.

The market has all sorts of goods, food, gas, clothing, cleaning products, TVs and other electronics, records, and even more. I wonder if this is some sort of intake area for any goods they bring back to the base. But who runs these little shops? From some notes you can find we know their economy runs on trade, so how does this work?

Once you get past the market area, you see a pretty vast section of farmland. I loved this shot because it also shows one of their rain water storage areas. They mark this water as to be used only for irrigation, so they must use something else for people to drink and bathe with. Or maybe they just filter some water for people to use, and the rest goes to the plants.

In the background you can see the wall and a guard tower. There is a larger wall (like much larger, I'm talking maybe 5 stories) around the QZ, and a smaller one that runs around the stadium.

This is labeled "Checkpoint #4", so I'm not sure if that means there are other gates, but this is the only one we see in game.

The wall is pretty thick, and you can see these guard towers spaced out all alongside it (much like in Jackson). Once you leave the walls you are immediately surrounded by the wasteland that is post-apocalyptic Seattle.

#The amount of detail they put into this game is insane #I can see why it took so long to make #The WLF's base is probably my second favorite place outside of Jackson #But there isn't a lot of competition #WLF thesis stuff #I have spent way too much time thinking about this game #the last of us 2 #WLF

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spicycreativity · 4 years ago

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Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 1

Chapter: 1/12 Rating: T (for language) Content Warnings: Canon-typical Remus content. This chapter only: alcohol use Characters: All Pairings: Moceit, background Prinxiety, background Intrulogical (yes I played a little game of "pair the spares") Additional Tags: Hey it's the fic I published on Anon because I was embarrassed of how utterly pretentious it is!, post-PoF, sickfic, dirty poetry, humor interspersed with philosophy and Janus-typical pontification, this is VERY speculative and will get Jossed in the future lmao Summary: After claiming his place in the Light and coming face-to-face with the consequences of his actions, Janus finds himself unwillingly re-calibrating his moral compass. For selfish reasons, of course. But one apology snowballs into several, and soon he's running around the Mindscape with a low-grade fever and a guilty conscience as he desperately tries to regain some sense of self. Oh, and he's definitely not falling in love with Patton, so don't even bring it up. One Last Note: I wrote this in an ADHD fugue state. It is HEAVILY influenced by Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment, but there are also references to poetry and various other works of literature. I also deliberately used symbols, themes, and motifs. Most of them are pretty in your face except for the recurring ouroboros, which is used as a symbol of rebirth. ...Told you it was pretentious.

When you wake up to the promise of your dream world comin' true With one less friend to call on, was it someone that I knew? Away you will go sailing in a race among the ruins If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon

Janus appeared in the Dark side of the Mindscape, elation swelling in his chest. Even the ringing headache and bitter taste in his mouth couldn't hollow the unfamiliar triumph that warmed him to the core. Caught up in his own thoughts, it took a moment for him to register the sight before him: Remus, upside-down on the couch, his brow furrowed and face an alarming shade of purple.

For a moment, Janus stood stock-still as he tried to get his bearings. He must have been more flustered than he'd realized-- He'd been aiming for his bedroom.

But here he was, staring down at Remus, who was definitely going to burst a blood vessel (or several) if he didn't flip over soon.

"That's not horrifying at all," Janus said, thinking it would be rude to dismiss Remus, especially since he had probably been eavesdropping. He had likely heard everything. Everything. Even the ugly parts.

"Do you remember when Thomas read that post about Nutty Putty Cave?" Remus asked in a strained, strangled voice. "That spelunker who died because he got stuck upside-down?"

"No," Janus said, before realizing his mistake. "Yes." He definitely wanted Remus to remind him of the gory details.

"That's what I thought," Remus said with a wicked grin.

Janus sighed through his nose. Remus, though he thrived on attention, seemed content enough to continue his experiment by himself. On the other hand, if Janus didn't bring up a certain insult he'd levied at Roman, Remus most certainly would, and at a time where it would cause the most upset and turmoil. Better for Janus to deal with it now, even if he would have to fight the tension pulling his muscles taut. He wanted to dance. He wanted to scream.

Hesitation proved to be Janus' downfall, and by the time he'd opened his mouth to broach the subject at hand, Remus had beaten him to the blow. "You're not usually this quiet, Oralboros. Snake got your tongue?"

Janus, again, sighed. Rather than answer, he doffed his hat, set it on the coffee table, and clumsily arranged himself upside-down next to Remus. The change in position immediately made his head throb. He ignored it. "I definitely meant it when I called you 'evil'."

Remus' eyes widened in faux-shock. "You called me evil ?" he shrieked, voice ringing out high and clear. "Me? How dare you. I'm an angel!"

At least Remus was taking it well. "Sarcasm is my thing," Janus said, realizing that he might make it out of this without having to properly apologize.

For some reason, Patton's face flashed into his mind, and a subsequent twinge of guilt made his tongue go sour. Fine. If there was ever a time to start telling uncomfortable truths… "But I am sorry I said that."

"Wow!" Remus laughed. "You must be upset." A red stain began to spill across his left eye. "You don't apologize."

"It’s not like I care about your feelings or anything." Janus would have liked to have drawn himself up to his full height, but it was impossible to do while upside-down. "As much as I'm enjoying watching your blood vessels slowly burst, would you please turn over before you hurt yourself? I've suffered enough psychological trauma for today."

"Oh, fine." Remus kicked his legs and landed neatly on his toes like a gymnast.

Janus, by contrast, got his arms tangled in his capelet and nearly folded himself in half before he found his balance again. "I meant to do that," he said, turning to grab his hat so Remus wouldn't see the blush on his face.

The sudden sensation of blood draining from his head made the room whirl. He steadied himself against Remus' shoulder until it slowed somewhat, but nothing could dampen the horrible ringing in his ears.

"Well," he said, adjusting his shirt. The sudden appearance of his conscience had taken the wind out of his sails more than he cared to admit, and all thoughts of dancing bled out of him along with a good deal of energy. "I'm not going to go scream into my pillows until I tire myself out."

"Being an agent of chaos is hard work," Remus said with a sage nod, "but that doesn't sound very relaxing, Mr Self Care."

"It's a form of meditation, if you think about it," Janus said.

Remus made a face. "You know I don't do that."

"...Meditate?"

"No, think."

"Ah. Well." Janus made only a token attempt to hide his fond smile. "Good night, Remus. Please stay up late and injure yourself."

"Can do, Snakeypoo.”

Janus turned. It was close enough, he might as well walk to his bedroom, especially considering how well his last attempt at appearing in it had gone.

The reason why that had been so difficult became apparent in mere moments. Janus froze in the hall and dropped to his knees at the giddy wave of horror and delight that made him too light-headed to stand.

He knelt in front of the empty stretch of wall where his door had been previously. Heat flooded his face.

"Jay?" The rounded toes of Remus' boots appeared in his line of sight. Janus zeroed in on them, the mud splatters and stains on the soft leather. "You have an aneurysm or what?"

Janus, unable to speak, motioned for Remus to turn around. He couldn't deal with this right now.

"Ohhh," said Remus. "Well. Good luck with that ." He hauled Janus to his feet. "So you're a boner fide good guy now, huh?"

Janus stared over Remus' shoulder at the empty stretch of wall where his door used to be. "That depends entirely on who you ask."

Remus shrugged and rose up on his toes. "You can scream into my pillows instead, if you want."

"As tempting as that is…" Janus trailed off, his eyes still fixed on the wall. It was tempting, despite the constant chaos in Remus' room. But he'd have to face the Light side sooner or later. It wasn't like he could move his room back, not without psychologically damaging Thomas and undoing all the work he'd done. "I'm really looking forward to getting insulted some more."

"Alright," Remus said with a shrug. "Try not to throw me under the bus this time, alright? Unless it's a real bus…" His gaze became dreamy, unfocused. "And it's doing 50 in a school zone and there's a whole pack of screaming kids in the crosswalk--"

"Goodbye, Remus." Janus turned and left.

The barrier between the "dark" and the "light" sides of Thomas' brain had been a joint venture. It would have been there in some form no matter what, but it was Janus and Roman (with Patton's tacit blessing) who had worked to put up something more physical between them.

Janus ducked under the red curtain, trepidation percolating in his stomach, but what he found on the other side was anticlimactic to say the least: It was dead silent on this side of the barrier.

Janus wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. He knew by now that the so-called "Lights" had issues working out their interpersonal issues, and this most recent conflict wasn't the kind of thing you just got over. It did follow that they would all go off to lick their wounds for a time.

Hesitantly, toe-to-heel, Janus crept down the hall. It felt for all the world like he was sneaking around a vast hotel, right down to needlessly ornate design on the plush carpeting. That was probably Roman's doing.

Janus focused, trying to call the Mindscape to work for him. He wanted to go to his room.

The Mindscape listened. Janus turned a corner and found a row of doors stretching down yet another brightly-lit corridor. His eye was immediately drawn, not to the brilliant yellow of his own door, but to the figure huddled in front of it: Patton sat with his arms wrapped around his legs, forehead resting on his knees.

"Looking for someone?" Janus asked, slightly louder than necessary.

Patton jerked his head up. "Oh! Janus!" He plastered an unconvincing smile on his face. "You sure pop star-tled me."

Scaring Patton hadn't brought Janus nearly the level of schadenfreude he'd thought it would. He crossed his arms over his chest, extending a third to help Patton up. "Take your time getting to the point.”

"Oh." Patton accepted Janus' proffered hand and got to his feet. Warmth spilled from him, permeating the fabric of Janus' glove and gently heating his palm. "Well, it's just…" He took a deep breath. "I noticed your door and I thought-- Well, I wanted to make you feel welcome!"

A high-pitched tone resonated in Janus' skull. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from wincing at the mounting pressure-pain-exhaustion in his temples. "Aren't you just a saint ." Patton's face fell. Janus fought the urge to swear aloud. He usually had a better handle on himself, and he knew better than to alienate potential allies. "I mean, thank you, Patton. Truly. I appreciate it." Patton had proven himself useful. Janus should at least cultivate that relationship, even if it meant a little discomfort.

"Have you eaten?" Patton asked. "It's a little late, but I could make something if you wanted." He paused. "Maybe we could play cards or something." Another pause. "O-only if you want to, I mean."

Janus let his face remain impassive even as he internally cringed at the idea of staying awake for even another second. It would be so easy to brush Patton off with a few honeyed words and disappear beyond the barrier of his door. But Patton had stood up for him today, or at least he'd tried to. Janus sighed. Quid pro quo. "That sounds like an utter waste of time."

"Are you… I'm sorry, sometimes I can't tell when you're…"

"Yes, Patton. That sounds lovely."

Patton actually hopped in place, an adorable little jig that absolutely didn't send a confusing little shockwave of fondness through Janus' ribcage. "Really?"

"Really," Janus lied.

He followed Patton down the hall into the living room, which opened into the dining room and the kitchen. Janus studied his surroundings, trying to take in as much as his exhausted faculties would allow. Even in the absence of other Sides, the living room felt warm and welcoming. All the lights were on, and they bathed everything in gentle golden light .

"You're awfully quiet," Patton said.

Janus shook himself. "I was just getting my bearings."

"I guess you've never really been over here, huh?" Pattton opened the refrigerator. Was he actually going to cook , instead of just manifesting something? How quaint. "Do you like grilled cheese?"

It had been a long, confusing day. Doublespeak came to Janus as naturally as breathing, but he was obviously running circles around Patton even when he wasn't trying to. "Yes," he said, hoping to telegraph his sincerity by not emoting at all.

It seemed to work. Patton studied him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. "Then that's what I'll make."

Janus took advantage of this temporary distraction to clamber onto one of the barstools. The slick velvet of his capelet tended to disagree with surfaces like wood and vinyl, and he needed a moment to arrange things so he didn't look as unbalanced as he felt.

He watched Patton work in the kitchen, a detached coolness washing out the scene. Quid pro quo, he reminded himself when he felt his facade begin to slip. He owed Patton this.

He certainly didn't feel the slightest twinge of guilt, that he had been the one to orchestrate this breakdown. Yes, the Light Sides had loaded the gun, but in the end it was Janus who had pulled the trigger.

He shook his head and thought about playing cards, good Bicycle playing cards with holes punched through them like they'd come from a casino. "What should we play?" he asked, pulling the deck from his breast pocket.

Patton looked up from the stovetop, his eyes flicking to the cards in Janus' hand. "Do you know Kings in the Corners?"

"Not personally, no."

Patton laughed, but there was something cold about it. "It's really simple," he said. "I'll show you how to play and you can tell me if you like it."

It was nearly impossible to cheat at Kings in the Corners. Janus doubted this had been a calculated measure on Patton's part, doubted he had the capacity for that kind of foresight, but he respected it just the same.

They played in funereal silence, staring each other down across the light wood of the dining room table. Janus, ill-inclined to take off his gloves, utilized a napkin to keep from staining them with melted butter from the grilled cheese Patton had made. Neither one of them smiled. Neither one of them spoke.

Janus pulled a card from the deck to indicate the end of his turn and glanced up at Patton. His face was somber, almost sorrowful, and it clashed against the gentle domesticity of the dining room, with its floral table runner and mismatched placemats.

Janus started to laugh.

"What is it?" Patton asked, cheeks darkening. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Janus swallowed down another peal of laughter and cleared his throat, unable to wholly restrain the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You look like I’m holding you here at gunpoint." It was somewhat ironic, considering Janus was the one who felt like he couldn't leave.

"What?" Patton smiled, but it was more akin to an offering than an expression of joy.

"It’s not really funny. " Janus wasn’t quite sure how to make Patton understand.

Patton sat back with a sigh, placing his cards facedown on the table. "But I guess it is pretty funny, huh? In a really sad way."

Janus almost asked what was sad about it before realizing that Patton probably missed his friends. Instead he said, "Yes" and stifled a yawn behind his free hand.

"I'll make coffee!" Patton leapt to his feet and was off to the kitchen before Janus could so much as blink.

The newfound solitude made it that much harder for Janus to ignore his headache, which had only worsened in the hour or so he'd been playing cards with Patton. Despite the nonchalant facade he'd tried so hard to project, he'd been holding himself tense.

Maybe the night (or morning, at this point) would be easier to tolerate if he had, say, a bit of gold rum.

The corner of a flask dug into Janus' hip. He smiled.

"Just how late are you planning on staying up?" he asked Patton when the latter returned holding two mismatched mugs.

"Oh, I don't know," Patton said. Lied. He set a mug down in front of Janus and then resumed his seat, the cards forgotten by his elbow. "I'm… A little scared of what tomorrow will be like."

Janus eased the flask out of his pocket. "Rum?"

"Oh, um," Patton said, staring at the flask. "I don't know…"

Janus raised an eyebrow, working something out. He landed on it a millisecond later: Patton wanted to be convinced. Easy enough. Janus opened the flask and poured what he hoped was a shot into his own mug. It was black, he noticed, except for the yellow snake that wrapped around it, its tail firmly in its own mouth. Ouroboros. "Surely you don't intend to make me drink alone?"

As Janus had expected, Patton buckled the second he was pushed. "I guess not."

It was funny, Janus mused as he carefully tipped rum into Patton's coffee, how lying was only off-limits when Janus suggested it. Hilarious.

But now wasn't the time for bitterness, now was the time to repay the debt he owed Patton. "Cheers," he said, pocketing the flask once more.

"Cheers."

Janus sipped his coffee. "You put milk in this," he observed.

Patton's smile was surprisingly sly. "I know you want me to think you take it black. Virgil did too, at first. I know you ‘Dark Sides’ have an image you like to uphold."

"And how does Virgil take his coffee now?" Janus asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"With Snickers-flavored creamer."

"Well, I do take my coffee black," Janus lied.

Patton's smile never faltered. "We'll see, kid-- Uh, Janus."

"Patton," Janus said, before he could start thinking about the implications of Patton wanting to call him 'kiddo,' "you are planning on sleeping tonight, aren't you?"

"Maybe eventually," Patton said, suddenly unable to look Janus in the eye. "At some point."

"Tomorrow will come whether or not you sleep. It's definitely better to pull an all-nighter and feel like garbage instead of facing everything with a clear head."

"I know." Patton leaned forward so he could rest his head on his hand.

For a moment, Janus was tempted to mirror him. Sitting up straight was becoming quite the chore. "I know how the others love a calm, rational discussion."

"Oh, I wish." Patton's expression turned wistful.

Janus stifled a yawn behind his hand. He had half-expected the coffee to counteract the depressant effect of the alcohol, but all he had to show for the combination was a racing heart.

"I'll be fine out here if you want to go to bed," Patton said. Without seeming to realize he was doing it, he brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on his thumbnail.

It was a tempting offer. A day ago, Janus would have taken it. After all, it wasn't like he cared about Patton outside of professional courtesy. They weren't friends. But guilt nagged at him and wouldn't let him entertain the idea of abandoning Patton for longer than a second.

"That's a remarkable impression of a window," Janus said, waiting for Patton to look confused before elaborating, "I can see right through you."

"You got me." Patton smiled sadly. "That's something I've always admired about you, Janus."

Now it was Janus' turn to be confused. "What?"

"You're so… clever."

Janus narrowed his eyes. "Please do keep trying to change the subject."

"It's just… I don't want to have to lie there and, and think about today and everything I did wrong. I hurt Thomas. I hurt my friends." Patton's eyes were shiny behind his glasses; the unshed tears sparkled in the light when he locked eyes with Janus. "Aren't you going to think about the same thing?"

Anger flared, perhaps prematurely, in Janus' chest. "About what you did wrong today?"

"About what you did wrong," Patton said timidly.

"I," Janus said icily, "didn't do anything wrong." He stared Patton down across the table, jaw set, daring him to push back. Let him lecture and nag, let him prove that he hadn't changed no matter what he said.

But Patton only nodded, his face lined with misery. "Okay," he softly. "I think you're right, Janus. We should go to bed."

Janus thought about how much faster he could get to bed if the table was cleared, and all the dishes and cards vanished in a blink.

"Um, Janus?" Patton said.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret everything that happened today."

"Oh?"

Patton only nodded and sank out.

Janus made a beeline for his own room; better to find his way there on foot rather than risk appearing in the wrong spot.

Once inside, he looked around to ensure nothing was amiss, eyes roving over the dark wood of his bookshelves and desk, his mirrored closet doors, the leather armchairs across from his bed.

Everything was exactly as Janus had left it. He nodded, satisfied, set his hat on the nightstand, and sprawled out of top of the covers without bothering to further undress.

One hazy thought crawled to the surface of his mind before he fell asleep: At least he wouldn't be one of the regrets haunting Patton tonight.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #janus sanders #moceit #spicywrites soft-shoe shuffle #song featured is: race among the ruins - gordon lightfoot #pics are free to use from unsplash and wikimedia commons

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Jac & Amelia

Jac: How was your first day? Amelia: 🥱😴 Amelia: What about you? Jac: Oh dear, it was a lot more observing rather than doing I suppose, but I kind of expected that, if you want to get experience somewhere that isn't willing to just let anyone come in and do a shift so Jac: You'll never guess who was on my placement too though Amelia: Connor following you there wouldn't surprise me Amelia: he can't take a hint Jac: Thankfully not Jac: Swerving him during school is basically an extra-curricular Jac: I suppose it isn't all that surprising when you think about it, but I still was taken aback by the turn of events Amelia: thrill me Amelia: who is it? Jac: Savannah Moore Amelia: oh god, that sucks Amelia: if you don't wanna change placements, we'll make her Amelia: it'll be okay Jac: That's the surprising thing Jac: she was like, a different person Amelia: like really fake, you mean? Jac: No, like, a normal person Jac: maybe because she was away from her friends, her audience, or I don't know Jac: but she was just getting on with her work too, being chill about the whole thing Amelia: 🤔 suspicious Jac: Well, you can't say anything Jac: but why would you Jac: she's having like, a really hard time at home right now, she was a bit upset at one point Jac: it just broke the ice, and it makes a lot of things make sense Amelia: did it or did she throw you off with a convincing 😥💔 story? Jac: She was having a breakdown in the toilets basically Jac: I don't think she wanted anyone to see that, least of all me Jac: we knew her dad was like A LOT anyway, it tracks Amelia: it's Savannah, she wants everyone to see everything, especially you Jac: Come on, what would she even get out of tricking me with a sobstory Jac: bar work experience not being a total drama, which surely she'd love more, by that logic? Amelia: your attention Jac: 🤔🤔 I just don't see it this time Jac: I can't explain how sincere it was, what she said Jac: it definitely wasn't made up, at any rate Amelia: if you believe her, I believe you Jac: Like, I'm not saying we were wrong Jac: but too harsh, maybe Jac: we don't need to waste any energy on being her enemy or whatever Jac: not that we were ever THAT childish but, she really isn't that bad Amelia: I can be a bit harsh Jac: You're a softie, really Jac: but I'm not going to spill all your secrets to her Amelia: it's not a secret that I missed you today Jac: Was it seriously that boring? 😞 Jac: Who are you with again, anyone not awful? Amelia: yeah Amelia: my 🧠 has turned to mush Amelia: they put with with Valentina Hernández, I've had detention with her before Jac: You poor thing Jac: we'll have to do something fun when this is over, if you're going to hate it so much Jac: and I'll keep to a minimum how much I'm enjoying getting some industry experience �� Jac: Oh yeah, she's cute Jac: I don't have many classes with her, but I know who you mean Amelia: she said I look like her ex, do you think that means she hates me or I'm her eye candy of choice for the next week? Amelia: can't we do something fun tonight!? Jac: How weird Jac: sounds like a really bad pickup-line a 40-year-old man would use Jac: Guess you'll see what she meant Jac: That's not going to make your early start tomorrow any easier, is it Amelia: I'm already planning to sleep through my alarm Amelia: and Is is up for it Jac: I'm totally wiped Jac: and trying to save you from yourself 😉 Jac: Is can make her own poor choices Amelia: vodka redbulls were invented to change wiped to wired Amelia: you know she'll get drunk and throw herself at some boy, that's what you'll be saving me from Amelia: dark corners are no fun when I'm being left in them on my own Jac: so I can be hungover tomorrow Jac: if she is tricking me, I'm going to need ALL my wits about me Jac: maybe Val will come and keep you company Amelia: and if she's as nice as you say, she can pick up the slack Amelia: please come Jac: Are we talking about a house party or a club or what, you've not even told me 😅 Jac: also, you know I don't want to drop anything, I need to ace this Amelia: it's a club you'll love Amelia: so you won't have to drink loads to have fun anyway Jac: If Is or any of her conquests have picked it I SO doubt that 😏 Amelia: I picked it in case you needed cheering up but it works for a pat on the back too Jac: Okay, I'll see what the parents say Amelia: if they look like they're leaning towards no, it could've been me having a breakdown in the toilets Jac: I'll tell them you'll be heartbroken Amelia: the truth works too Jac: they're not that understanding so I wouldn't hold your breath Jac: I'll corner one of them when they get in though Amelia: more understanding than mine, not to be Savannah-ish about it Jac: I assume you will be sneaking out, as per Jac: or staying over one of ours to catch up with your work Amelia: 😏 Jac: 🙄 how you ever get away with it when your mother knows everything about everyone is beyond me Jac: if you applied yourself, you could be seriously impressive Amelia: could be? Amelia: you just said I am Amelia: she knows everything about me that I want her to know Jac: duh Jac: gotta give you something to aim for though Amelia: oooh a challenge Jac: I know how you feel about them Amelia: unless it's going to be something about applying myself this week Jac: am I a teacher? Amelia: you've taught me loads like why would I waste my energy buckling down with Valentina 📠 when I could spend it doing something that isn't 🥱😴 with you Jac: You have a point Jac: or, I do? 😂 Jac: and I can come out for a while, but I need to be home to get at least 5 hours sleep minimum Amelia: can I stay or does Jude still need 15 hours minimum? Jac: if you keep the noise down and promise to talk less than her Amelia: I'll be so 🤫🤐 Jac: another person at mine in the AM makes no odds Jac: but I will be leaving extra early, FYI Amelia: why? Jac: Mainly because I want to get there on time Jac: but also because Savannah said she'd bring breakfast, as I listened to her when she was upset today so Amelia: bribery is her style 🤑 Jac: I guess so Jac: but it'd be rude of me not to accept any coffee or pastries she wants to throw my way Amelia: what if they're toxic Jac: You're giving her too much credit now Jac: she isn't going to have the time to poison them AND not be late Amelia: she's probably baking them right now, what else are her and her invisible mum going to do to bond? Jac: You're the one that takes home ec 🍳 Amelia: yeah and if you wanted me to kill her, all you had to do was ask Jac: Feel free to note my silence any time you like 😏 Jac: What are you wearing, how smart/casual is this place? Amelia: [pictures of potential outfits on the bed so she can see the vibe] Amelia: which one will you break your vow of silence for? Jac: You know I love that colour [hi khaki moment] Amelia: 😉 Amelia: if you want to know what Is is wearing, the group chat is full of her maybes Jac: I am purposely ignoring that notification 🙄😑 Jac: like yeah, I'm probably going to wear my black tank dress again but the difference is, I'm not pretending it's getting any crazier Amelia: it got her to shut up about all the 'hotties' at the sports centre that she got to 'service' today Amelia: 😣 Jac: Ew Jac: she's so graphic sometimes Jac: it's a good thing she has her reputation tbh if those are her lines Amelia: this is before a drink too Amelia: I need you, I wasn't even laying it on thick Jac: God, she is a lot Jac: hopefully one of them asks her out, she's at least less gross when she's in a relationship Amelia: 🤞 Jac: I do need to plan my outfits for the rest of work experience though Amelia: god, I can imagine what Savannah looked like today Jac: Right? Jac: She was so on point Amelia: for a stepford wife Amelia: it's unsettling Amelia: her mum probably stays invisible because she takes the clothes off her back Jac: Come on, she looks good Amelia: so would I in head to toe chanel Jac: Exactly Jac: so I need to keep up so I don't look like a scrub Amelia: you don't have to try as hard as her, that's the difference Amelia: you actually look good Amelia: not just expensive Jac: You're biased but I love you for it Amelia: you could ask anyone in our year and they'd tell you the same thing Amelia: even her boyfriend would probably want to agree with me Jac: I doubt his eyes ever leave her, they're totally inseparable aren't they Amelia: it sounds like you'll be getting all the gossip Amelia: you'll be able to tell me everything by Friday Jac: not that that has any real use now Amelia: maybe or maybe not Jac: ?? Amelia: we've got loads of school left, you can't say never Amelia: today could've been a weird fluke Jac: Nah, it was a total ceasefire if nothing else Jac: it's not like a feud Jac: Oh my God, what is that skirt she just posted Amelia: okay Amelia: 😳 on her behalf Jac: should I tell her to wear it? Amelia: yeah 😂 Jac: 😏 Amelia: what are you wearing though? Jac: my lbd 😂 Jac: I don't know if it's classic or predictable but if nothing else, I can say this was short notice Amelia: if I couldn't predict you I'd be worried Jac: but you love a challenge 🤔 Amelia: but I love the way things are Jac: see, so soft and soppy Jac: nothing has changed yet Jac: still think transition year is pointless 🤷 Amelia: your 🧠 didn't turn to mush Jac: it might Jac: I just wanna pick all our new classes and get started Jac: but it is cool we get to do stuff like this, I suppose Amelia: you just want to find out if Savannah will be in every single class again Jac: 🙄 Amelia: [like I'm gonna say she was joking then but now the posts have appeared so it's like oh you actually do and she leaves her on read which I cannot overstate how much that would NEVER happen because she always answers immediately no matter what] Jac: Hello? Jac: are you picking me up? Amelia: are you ready? Jac: you aren't talking to Isabelle Jac: of course I am Amelia: nothing she's saying needs a reply Jac: 'Fashionably' late is her vibe Amelia: yeah I know, Is hasn't changed since I met her Jac: Like that's a good thing? Amelia: I wouldn't go as far as to call her perfect or anything Amelia: but at least I get her Jac: Funny, Meels Amelia: like totally weird, that kind of funny Jac: You are being weird Amelia: that isn't even a worthy deflection Jac: What do you wanna say? Jac: It's just a post Amelia: I've never heard you describe anything as perfect, what are you saying? Jac: Did you see her post? Amelia: yeah, it's obvious why you're tired Amelia: I was exhausted reading it Jac: Well I couldn't just say nothing in return, could I Amelia: I never caption anything, it's easy Jac: you're a girl of few words Amelia: why does she think she knows you on such a 'deep level' now? Amelia: you said she was the one who overshared Jac: You know her friends Jac: Paige G and Becca Jac: I doubt they do 'deep' Jac: it's just in comparison Amelia: I know you, there's things you aren't telling me Jac: like what, I told her all my secrets Jac: if you know me then you know there's no way that's true Amelia: then you're keeping hers Jac: No I'm not, I told you, it's her home life Jac: and I'm sure she doesn't want everyone to know so I shouldn't but I did Amelia: okay Jac: You don't like her, you don't have to Jac: but don't be off with me Amelia: neither did you yesterday Amelia: but now you're going to [whatever that market location was] together Jac: She needed cheering up Jac: and I was going to go anyway, my last bouquet was dead Jac: it's not a big deal Amelia: it was so chill you weren't going to say anything before she outted you with a post Amelia: obviously Jac: I didn't say anything 'cos I didn't think you'd be bothered Jac: it's not your thing Amelia: right, why would it be news that you've changed your entire POV on Savannah Moore Jac: Well I told you about that Jac: scroll up Amelia: it's one thing putting up with someone during work experience, which is what you said Amelia: do you see me taking Valentina out when we're allowed to leave? No, because it'd be totally weird Jac: Why would that be weird? Amelia: we're not friends, I barely know her Jac: you're free to get to know her Jac: you may as well Jac: like I said, it's totally childish having some kind of grudge against her Amelia: it's too late to invite them both Jac: so you want to? Amelia: no, but you think I'm being childish Jac: I think it would be childish for me to decline this peace offering Jac: if it makes life easier, it'd be stupid not to Amelia: I don't see how it'll make anything easier if she's going to be that extra Amelia: Is is already a lot Jac: I can deal with them both Amelia: okay Jac: You don't need to be jealous Amelia: of her? oh please Jac: right Amelia: she's not the only one who has had a bad day, that's all Jac: what's wrong? Amelia: I got in trouble, they might not even have me back tomorrow Jac: What did you do? Amelia: nothing! It wasn't my fault Jac: Alright, what happened then Amelia: I didn't think it would crash the whole system, I was just trying to get done quicker Jac: Oh God Meels Amelia: it would've been impressive if it had worked Jac: they can't get rid of you for a mistake Jac: just be really, really sorry, yeah Amelia: I am sorry, it was really 😳 Jac: I bet Jac: you won't do it again Jac: did she tell you to Amelia: who would tell me to do that Jac: You said she was your detention buddy Amelia: no I didn't, I said I've seen her there before Amelia: everyone gets detention except you and Savannah Jac: Hardly Jac: well, you could say it was her idea Amelia: you've been having a go at me for being childish Jac: you'll be in so much shit if they refuse to have you back Amelia: I'll go work with my dad or something, it'll be even more boring but it's only a week anyway Jac: it'll still reflect really badly on you Jac: it's not childish, it's practical Amelia: it was an accident, I won't be the only one who's done something stupid Jac: Yeah, but you said they were arsey about it so Jac: just saying Amelia: maybe I was a bit defensive Amelia: don't worry about it Jac: Hmm Amelia: I'll smooth it over Jac: Good luck then Amelia: trust me Jac: You always end up alright Amelia: you're my lucky charm Amelia: I just ask myself wwjd Jac: You're such a loser 😏 Amelia: you're so cruel to me 💔 Jac: You love it Amelia: I love you Jac: I love you too Amelia: are you coming out or am I coming in? Jac: You'll just get waylaid by dogs and siblings Jac: be right out Amelia: the hair isn't an accessory I should wear to the club Jac: I've not done anything with mine, don't judge Amelia: it always looks perfect whatever you do or don't do Jac: 😘 Amelia: if you're going to use that word, at least throw it in the right direction Jac: oh yeah, that's a caption I wanna write 😂 Amelia: I'll write it for you, if anything's worth breaking the rules for Jac: You want to compete with Savannah's word count? Amelia: I don't want to, but I will if I have to Jac: I'm not that desperate for validation, you're okay Amelia: Isabelle meanwhile Amelia: has NOT shut up Jac: It's a wonder anyone is getting past her on reception Amelia: 😂 Jac: maybe she should ask if she can work the door when she finally shows Jac: [you go out now though gal, don't need to be messing about] Amelia: [go forth and be messy gays at this club instead] Jac: [no wonder, the tension henny] Amelia: [all the useless lesbian awards to amelia for not making a move tonight] Jac: [blink and you miss it babe] Amelia: [literally does not think she's running out of time, soz gal] Jac: [oh it's sad[ Amelia: [it is, we've been doing this dance for years ladies, obvs we think we'll just keep doing it until uni forces us to stop and do something else and at that point that's years away still] Jac: [when you think you got another three years to have gay angst and drama, nay nay] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [well, a different kind of angst and drama will be happening but nobody is loving that Amelia: [except me haha]

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squidproquoclarice · 6 years ago

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Hi! I've noticed in your RDR2 answers that you've mentioned Sadie getting to know the rest of the gang for like months. What's your take on the timeline of the game, like how long each chapter is? Like I know it starts it May (I think Hosea says it when they are in the snowstorm) but I guess I always thought it wasn't it wasn't that long?

Lemme see–I made some notes on this for Sunrise reference. I’m balancing off indications of things being somewhat short in some places versus the need for a somewhat realistic TB progression and plot progression. 'Cause yeah, he didn’t catch it, incubate it, and end up nearly dead from it all in the space of two months. Weather may not match my timeline–for example, we don’t see fall color in Beaver Hollow. But that may be Rockstar programming just declining to do it by not planning on someone being as ridiculously obsessive as me and others in trying to plan timelines for fic. ;)

I mean, Colter and Adler Ranch are snow-covered no matter when you’re there, and that’s not seasonally realistic either, so I don’t take the lack of fall color and colder weather in Roanoke Ridge as a definite sign of anything. This is the timeline that seems to work best with plot realities, and at least somewhat realistic TB progression, so I’m going with it.

Chapter 1: Colter (one and a half to two weeks, mid-May)Hosea very specifically places it in May in the opening cutscene, remarking on it being a May blizzard. I’m giving it about a week for them to rest up, start to get food, etc., and another week for them to attack the O'Driscolls and make and execute the plan for hitting the Cornwall train once the ground has thawed enough to ride out on it. John still isn’t recovered enough by the end of the chapter to go on the train job, so it really can’t be longer than two weeks.

Chapter 2: Horseshoe Overlook (about two months, late May-late July)Karen makes a reference to it being a few (three, I believe?) weeks that they’ve been stuck in Horseshoe Overlook camp already when you go to town with Karen, Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Uncle, and that’s really early in the chapter. I’m giving them two months here to really catch their breath, before Cornwall finds them and things really go to hell. Arthur goes to collect the Downes debt in early-mid June and is infected with TB.

Chapter 3: Clemens Point (about six weeks, late July-early September)The pace picks up a little as the hunt of the gang intensifies and the pressure ratchets up more. They’re safe for less time in this camp. But this still needs something of a leisurely pace for them to be working their various schemes against both the Braithwaites and Greys. There’s also a time jump of a “few weeks” i.e. about three weeks, after Arthur’s ordeal with the O'Driscolls. It’s at this point, about mid-August, that the TB has a chance to really incubate and get at him thanks to his body being very busy fighting infection and a serious gunshot wound. He starts occasionally coughing late in Chapter 3, IIRC, and definitely early in Chapter 4, which fits.

Chapter 4: Shady Belle (about three weeks, early September-late September)Again, the pace quickens, and they’re safe for less time. This chapter needs some decent amount of time for various threads to fully unfold (rescuing Jack, the mayor’s party, the failed trolley robbery, the O'Driscoll attack, going after Bronte) and ample planning time for hitting the St. Denis bank, as we’ve seen Hosea is very much into detailed planning. But it’s still a somewhat compressed timeline because Milton tracked them to Lemoyne already, so they can’t get too comfortable as Shady Belle is not really that far from Clemens Point.

Chapter 5: Guarma (about three weeks, late September through mid-October)It probably would take a freighter about a week to get from New Orleans to Cuba c. 1900, and given St. Denis is obviously a New Orleans proxy, and Guarma is depicted as being near Cuba, that’s fair math. So that’s two weeks already out and back. A week-ish on the island sounds about right for them to accomplish the few missions and tasks there, and for Fussar to call in the reinforcements. Even more physical strain and hardship for Arthur, so the TB is really accelerating now.

Chapter 6: Beaver Hollow (about one month, mid-October through mid-November), I’m also including late Chapter 5 in Lakay hereThey return from Guarma, and within probably about four days of that, are forced to move to Beaver Hollow. He also is doing a lot in Chapter 6 with various complicated plot threads that are taking time to unfold (rescuing John, the various missions for Rains Fall, helping Sadie). I also think it took a few weeks for the gang’s fragile condition to finally snap, and for various people to start slipping away. I’m giving this one a month for the TB to really get to work and severely compromise Arthur’s physical condition to the point we see in the last fights in “Red Dead Redemption”. That amount of deterioration didn’t happen in a week. It took longer. Five months post-infection, and about three months once the incubation really began, is still quick for TB to reach such dangerous levels as to cause hypoxia to the point of passing out multiple times, but he’s been doing fairly constant physical exertion, taking little time to rest, riding and working in all weather, sleeping out in the open, etc. for all that time, so it makes sense he’s run himself down a lot faster.For the Sunrise readers, Chapter 7 (Wapiti) was one week long, and right now I’m planning that Chapter 8 (Las Hermanas) will cover about one year.

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #timeline #rdr2 timeline #tuberculosis is a jerk #Anonymous

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aacinedinburgh · 4 years ago

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Week 2: Glasgow, Portobello Beach, & the First Week of Classes

And we're back! Quick note, in case you didn't know: clicking on the pictures will open them and improve the viewing resolution! Without further ado...

Classes started this week, although it's a pretty light academic week. Two of my classes have asynchronous lectures, and the other two only have one lecture a week. Seminars and tutorials, which are smaller in-person sessions, don't start until next week.

Basically, that means that I have time to take a day trip to Glasgow on the first day of school. As I learned in the museum I went to (more on that later), Glasgow was in a post-WW2 downward spiral essentially from the collapse of the industrial sector, but in the 80s, began to reinvent itself as a center of arts, music, and culture. So now, Glasgow is the big Scottish stop for touring musicians, conventions, etc.

One of my favorite artists, dodie, is currently touring the UK, and when I saw she was performing in Glasgow, I knew I had to go. I only have class until 10am on Mondays, so I decided that I might as well make a day of it and explore the city.

The (doubledecker!) bus ride to Glasgow was only supposed to take about an hour, but there was apparantly a gas leak on the M8, so it ended up taking a little over two hours, and I got there in the early afternoon. The good news is I found a really great Indian restaurant for lunch. The best part? The signs hanging inside:

After lunch, I walked over to Kelvingrove Park, in Glasgow's West End. Despite the gray skies and sprinkling rain, there were still tons of people out having picnics with their kids or walking their dogs. Inside the park is Kelvingrove Art Museum and Gallery. There was a little bit of everything inside: big natural history exhibits, the history of Glasgow, old French paintings, and an Ancient Egyptian sarcophagus. The grandiose halls were probably my favorite part, though:

After the museum, I walked through the University of Glasgow campus. One of the main buildings gave off serious Hogwarts vibes. I also walked through the Glasgow Botanical Gardens. Unfortunately, I got there late enough in the afternoon that the greenhouses were already closed, but it was still a nice walk-through.

After the Gardens, I took the bus over to George Square, in the city centre. The bus was rickety as hell. Like, shaking so badly it made Wile E. Coyote on a jackhammer look stable. Nevertheless, I arrived safely. George Square has a whole bunch of big grand buildings, with pillars and arches and domes and the like. I grabbed some fish and chips while I was there before catching another bus down to the concert venue.

Oh my god, y'all, the concert was so good. Shoutout first to the girls in line who let me borrow their portable phone charger and to the girl from Minnesota who was also alone, so we stuck together through the night. Seeing dodie live was such a dream, and it was a great show: the lights, the string quartet, plus getting to stand, I don't know, 10 yards away from the stage? Amazing.

I was kind of nervous about getting back to the bus station and to Edinburgh by myself at night, but luckily, lots of people were headed to the same places, and since probably 90% of the people in attendance were women under 25 (the guys behind me in the picture are honestly some of the only men I saw all night), it ended up being a gaggle of girls all going to the bus station together. It was so weird seeing Edinburgh at the dead of night - it was completely deserted. Even on the most busy streets downtown, Princes St, the Royal Mile, etc., there was not a soul or car to be found. Eerie. If I hadn't been walking back to campus with other people, I would have been super unnerved.

Thanks also to everyone who was checking in that I had not, in fact, been murdered. Gold medal goes to Schyler "please tell me you are not alone rn" Rowland. I love and appreciate you.

I truly enjoyed my visit to Glasgow, but I'm honestly glad that I'm living in Edinburgh instead. Glasgow felt much more like a big city, with all the positives (cool venues, events, and things to do) and negatives (some slightly spooky, grungy, industrial areas) that come with that. Edinburgh has this cosy village feel, even with the 500k+ population, and I'm so glad I get to experience that!

I also made my way over to Portobello Beach, Edinburgh’s coast looking out over the bay. There were lots of dogs and fun stands set up along the beach - I grabbed some gelato from a cart! It wasn’t sunny, but that’s not unusual for Edinburgh and it was beautiful nonetheless.

It's also been a week full of dance classes! This week I went to tap, contemporary, hip hop, and a pole dance class, and next week I'm headed to jazz, as well as African and swing dance classes. You have to pay for membership and attendance to events at the student organizations here, but these first two weeks of the semester are free trial periods, so I'm trying to cram as many classes in as possible. If I get videos of routines I do throughout the semester, I'll upload them here. :)

Stray observations:

- The Glaswegian (yes, that's what they're actually called) accent is so thick. Like the accents from Brave upped significantly. A man at the subway station spoke directly to me for 30 straight seconds, and I understood exactly zero of the words that came out of his mouth. Thank God none of my professors have thick accents. One of them has an Italian accent, which I definitely did not see coming and is also very fun.

- Favorite thing I saw in Glasgow: a hot pink PSA sign that read "be a tidy weegie." Amazing.

- Apparantly spiral notebooks aren't a thing here? I spent about 2 hours going from store to store, and they're not on the UK Amazon either. I ended up with a huge notepad that I put sticky tabs in to section off my classes.

- My respect for pole dancers has just skyrocketed. It was a half hour class, and my wrists are sore (they were popping in and out the whole time, haha), my shoulders hurt, my knees are bruised, and I've got a friction rash on my forearm. It was so fun to try something new, especially something I've wanted to try for a long time now, but seeing as I have to pay for all the orgs I choose to be a part of, I might stick to a style of dance that's a little less painful.

- Happy Bi Visibility Week! To my many bi friends and family, I love you and am so thankful to have you in my life. <3

See you all next week! I have some fun adventures planned in the meantime. ;)

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stubert87 · 5 years ago

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I've spent some time wondering if coming back here to write something was too self indulgent at a time like this. But I'm going to start writing and if you're reading it then I got to the end, thought it was ok, and posted it.

I think it's fair to say that the nation's mental health, as a whole, is in somewhat of a state of flux at the minute. Our life as we have come to know it has been entirely disrupted, albeit temporarily. I've come back to this space to share some of my musings and offer support to anyone who's mental well-being has been affected since the threat of coronavirus has appeared. For many of us this may just be the most recent trigger in a series of major episodes of anxiety, low mood, etc. For others this may be the first experience of anxiety or any form of negative mental health. I hope this makes sense. Maybe even some of it may resonate.

I'm more than familiar with how isolated our thoughts can make us feel when we're in the midst of a low point. Add to that the very literal isolation that has been placed upon us through social distancing measures, and we have the recipe for a mental health crisis. But it isn't as bad as it sounds. In every new scenario and environment there is opportunity. We just have to be willing to see past the fear, and seize it.

There are some of us adept at change. There are some of us that aren't. I most certainly am not. I'm analytical and need order. I need time to digest my new environment, figure out how to exist within it, and then consciously marry up my strengths to this new situation, while guarding my vulnerabilities, until I establish a comfort zone. For those of us who aren't as fast paced as others when dealing with change, the entire situation is a wall of anxiety that seems insurmountable. We are paralysed by the overwhelming barrage of "what ifs" leading to "I can'ts" that lead to "I'm a failure" and there we have ourselves back on the edge of The Abyss, thinking that this is no way to live and pleading with the universe to make tomorrow better.

The insurmountable wall right now is made up of a combination of catastrophic thoughts that has the potential to cripple us. From worrying about the health of ourselves, our friends and families, to worrying how long this will last, and when we can see each other again, each question is a potential doorway to a 'corridor of catastrophising'. It's very easy to end up at very scary and upsetting conclusions, such as "I'm never going to see xyz again" or "I'm next". Very dark thoughts in an already dark time.

The process of breaking the cycle of worry is a lot greater than anything I can outline in this blog. There's a reason that forms of therapy last many sessions. But I'll try to pass on a few tips that have helped me over the years.

I like to think there's two places you can tackle your worry. If we use the analogy of the 'corridor of catastrophising', the door you walk through and into the corridor is the initial worry, the end of the corridor is the final conclusion you reach: a dead end is a total overwhelming negative thought, taking another door out of the corridor is us reaching a better conclusion.

The first way you can try to tackle your worry is at the start, by nipping it in the bud. When you open the door and see that "what if" worry, you can ask yourself is this normal worry, or excessive worry. If what you're thinking is something like "I'm worried about the wellbeing of my grandparents because they're vulnerable and isolating for 12 weeks" then this is a perfectly normal worry. Any human being would think this. You then need to make sure you follow up this thought with positive action and find one way to make the situation better. Using the grandparents example, can you set them up with video calling? Can you send them voice notes? Can you get them involved in distanced activities like a video chat quiz or look for events to take part in like the virtual grand national? Taking positive action will help remove the mental isolation and bring about a positive shift in mindset. And much like a negative mindset can spiral, a positive mindset can also gain momentum.

For some of us though this may be to little too late. We might have already walked down the dark corridor to it's gloomy and seemingly absolute end. And also for anyone who hasn't had to work at challenging their thought processes before, simply trying to nip it in the bud is a a lot to get to grips with straight away, and you could actually end up in a strange state of denial where you're pushing the thought away, only for it to come back with a vengeance. So we have to look at reframing our negative thoughts to help us back track and take another turn off the corridor.

The idea is to challenge the thought by asking yourself can I bring any evidence to back that thought up? Can I prove without any shadow of doubt that the thought I have is true? Using the example of grandparents again, it's easy to bring in evidence like "they're old and therefore high risk", "there's already been thousands of deaths". These are natural worries, but they're not concrete evidence to support a worst case scenario. If we try re-framing our thoughts more positively then the thoughts become less consuming and therefore allow us to think more rationally. "They're vulnerable" - correct, but they're shielding for 12 weeks in isolation to ensure the chances of infection are minimal. "There's already been thousands of deaths" - could be challenged by "yes but there's also plenty of cases of recovery and also so many that haven't been infected or shown symptoms. As long as we're all doing our part to stop the spread, we reduce the risk".

By challenging each negative thought we give ourselves chance to minimise their detrimental impact and make them more manageable and easy to digest. It takes a lot of practice but eventually you get quicker at managing these thoughts and you're quickly volleying them away before they can take hold.

Another problem many of us are now facing is the concept of managing our time in isolation so we're not climbing the walls. Not an easy task at all, but one the more analytical of us may find a bit easier. Iregardless it will take practice. It's easy to fall into bad habits when we have too much time to kill. For some of us we'll naturally fall into good habits because we're disciplined. For others amongst us structure and good routine maybe don't come so naturally. The best way to ensure we're getting the most out of our day is to spend up to a week documenting your activities and the mood you experienced while doing it, correlating what our mood was like to the activity and looking for patterns in the day to day, so that we can then start planning more activities that elevate our mood whilst balancing our necessary tasks that may not bring us so much comfort or joy. Sounds simple on paper but I can definitely attest to the fact that challenging your own behaviour and embedding change is never easy.

There are also so many of us who have anxious brains who've suddenly found that we're calmer than usual. That people around us seem more anxious than we are. It's an interesting phenomenon that I've recently found myself in and mused over this somewhat. Having pondered on it a while, I can only draw the conclusion that my mind is used to living in a state of abstract worry. By that I mean I'm worrying about what MIGHT happen, or rumenating on an incident that happened a week ago. None of this worry is in the present. And when you're suffering from a period of mental ill-health it feels almost possible to be present, grounded, and in the moment. But in this pandemic lies a very real, very present threat. One that means our lives are changing by the day. A threat that is very much making us exist in the present. Anyone who's ever been stuck in the rut if anxious thinking knows that when you snap out of it into the present moment, you're capable of thinking and rationalising and lightning speed. So if you're one of us who's found yourself much calmer than ever, make sure you're continuing to keep those positive actions going to build a positive resilience. Think about what you can do to help friends, family, colleagues and your community to keep us all afloat. Sometimes the people who've experienced the darkest of thoughts are the ones who can bring light to others dark times. If this is you, now's your time to shine.

The final key to it all is my age old advice. KEEP TALKING. The second you feel in a slump, pick up the phone and call someone. Video call them. Start a House Party. Never impose further isolation on yourself by withdrawing. On the opposite side, if you haven't heard from someone in a while then call them. Make whatever plans you can in this difficult time.

I think I've meandered on long enough. If you've made it this far, thank you. If you've found any of this thought provoking or even helpful please let me know. I've attached a link to some further reading on covid-19 and anxiety (if you have any reading left in you) I think it's pretty useful

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