#Oliver's reaction to John's pictures on the law firm's website 😂😂😂

[inafieldofdaisies]

Last Line Paragraph Tag | Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton

Dropping by with a little treat from John's AU where Oliver is grilling the shite out of Leslie. I couldn't bring myself to cut out any of his jokes, so you're getting an extended last line. ❤️

"Coffee run, boys. Anyone want something?", Oliver hollered, stiring up the rest of the detectives that were in at the early hour, "No? Byyyyeee." He sing-songed the rest as he threw on his jacket and Leslie did the same, rushing to leave before both could get wrapped up in actual orders. "Aye, you fuck, I wanted-", Ross' yell was cut off as McKenzie slammed the door to their division shut, whistling to himself on their way to the stairs. "Graham will retaliate, you know that, right?" "I promised Maxie I'd get him a coffee, there's only so much I can carry.", he explained while Leslie followed closely, "Plus, Ross has legs and cheated me out of my poker win last week. So… he can suck it." Parish chuckled, but it felt more forced than anything with his mind still racing with questions, "Weren't you also cheating?" "Beside the point." "Mhm.", he hummed as they hit the ground floor and made their way out the precinct. "You know, my jokes are only good if people are paying attention to them…", Oliver began while the two set on their usual route to a small bakery nearby. "I was listening, it just wasn't funny." The deadpan answer did little to convince him of the lie based on the snort he replied with, "Sure. Repeat it back to me, will ya? Then I can decide if it sounded funny or not."

"Fuck off.", Leslie remarked, pulling his coat closed against the sudden gust of wind that blew in. "That's what I thought.", McKenzie sent him a cocky smirk over his shoulder as they navigated the crowd moving down the street, "What did Rina do this time?" "Nothing." "And you've been looking like I kicked you in the nuts the whole morning over nothing. How long have we known each other to think this would work with me? Hell, I think even Vaughn would pick up on your lie, and he is as oblivious as they come." A groan left Leslie, but deep down he was thankful someone cared enough to notice the mood he was in and try to get him out of it, "I have no idea how we're still friends, you don't ever let up." "Why my ma said I'd make a great detective, and how right she was…" In ways Oliver truly was like a K9 that had caught a perp's scent, refusing to let go until getting an answer, on top of it all he was competitive as hell. The bakery's sign finally came into view, making him wonder if he could actually get away with not providing any details for once. Doubtful. "Well?", McKenzie asked again, swinging the door open and entering the shop first with Leslie close on his heels. "Coffee first." "Fine, but you try to dodge my questions, I'm locking you in the interrogation room until you start singing like a canary. I have all the time and patience in the world." "Buchanan will have your balls." He rolled his eyes as they took their place in line, "Think I care about what old Jerry will do?" Doubtful again.

Parish occupied his time by mindlessly watching the people seated at the tables in the back of the bakery, wishing his heart would skip a beat the same way it did for Sabrina when his gaze was met on accident by a woman sitting on her own. The little smile she gave him only darkened his mood as he forced his eyes back ahead and Oliver's hand landed on his back in silent support. "Jesus. It's bad." "I'm absolutely fine." "Sure, Sabrina. You're picking up all her sad habits.", Oliver grumbled, "Lying you're okay, going through life deep sighing over somebody you can't have for some stupid ass reason." He rattled out an order when their turn came and paid for everything, giving Leslie a much needed break from arguing over the ugly truth. "Just ask her out. You have to start somewhere.", his fellow detective insisted as they set on waiting to the side, "Who cares if she went on a date yesterday? Like, fuck, you sure won't be sending 100 roses to her and panic-calling her over a little bat paying you a friendly visit. You already have an advantage - you know what she likes and what she wants before she even figures it out." "60." "Huh?", McKenzie gave him a dumbfounded look. "60 roses is what Bruce sent." A snort left him at the choice of nickname, "Batman ain't cheap, I'd give him that. Though, I'd argue blowing your hotshot lawyer money on a bouquet is kinda idiotic." "Hotshot?" "Oh, yeah.", Oliver nodded at his raised eyebrow, "I looked him up myself, too. Fucker's a new partner in Atlanta. Has his name on the plaque and everything. I wanted to barf at his fancy photoshoot on their website, haven't seen anyone looking so sure of themselves while holding scales. Lady Justice is shakin'."

"Not making me feel any better about this." "I wasn't trying to.", a playful slap landed on his shoulder, "I'm trying to kick your ass into action. Get your girl. Getting laid will fix you both, I promise." "We've been over this." Thanfully, the woman out front waved Oliver over to pick up his bag, stopping the conversation they've had plenty of times before in its tracks. Or so Leslie thought until he was dragged back into it the moment they were back outside. "Spill, Parish and I don't mean my coffee.", McKenzie instructed him with narrowed eyes as they set towards the precinct and he passed him the takeaway to light up a cigarette, "You can even tell Rina you bought her the croissant. My treat." "We talked like we do every night yesterday…", the storm clouds above them certainly matched his mood, "and she let it slip that she's invited him over because his neighbors were annoying the shit out of him with loud sex." Oliver laughed way too loudly at that, startling a woman walking ahead of them and getting a dark look from her he met with a wink, "Batman wishes he was gettin' some." "I asked her to keep me posted, so I know she and Sav are safe." "Reasonable.", he agreed, "Considering they just met." Leslie sighed, "I expected a text, you know, 'We're all good, he left. Goodnight.' She called me instead… sounded completely off, mind you, I was close to jumping on my bike and driving there." "Don't tell me-" "No! Nothing of sorts."

"Good, because it would suck to get arrested for murdering one of Maxie's case victims." "After dancing around the subject, Rina announced that Bruce is stayin' over." "Uh-oh.", Oliver let out a whistle, "She actually went for it. Damn, I-" "In the guest bedroom.", Parish interjected before he could go on a tangent about Sabrina getting laid. He suspected he'd get an extra detailed version of possible events as punishment. The detective's eyes shone with a devilish gleam at the news, "Poor Batman. But… wait… why the fuck did she call you?" "She wanted me to convince her sleeping with him was a bad idea." The two came to a halt in front of their building, not exactly rushing to go back inside despite the subject. Oliver took a long drag from his cigarette, gaze running over his face before he exhaled some of the smoke and muttered, "And you did just that. Cockblocked him, six ways from Sunday." "No." The rest of the vapor left him at once, making him choke at the confession. "God-fucking-damn.", McKenzie croaked out between coughs as he hit his chest dramatically, "This ain't how I want to die. Especially before seeing you get laid for good." Leslie said nothing and tightened his grip on the bag in his hands, focusing his attention on the street, watching each passing car, instead of meeting what he knew would be his fellow detective's disapproving gaze. "You're an idiot, you know that?" "Thanks."

"It's accepted you look a person in the eye when they speak…", he gritted out, taking another pull of nicotine. "What do you want me to say?" "That you didn't actually encourage her to sleep with him and are now in this shit mood because of it? I'd start with that." "I told her the truth.", Leslie replied flatly, "You saw how she was after their lunch. I don't even want to ask how close they were at it…" "I didn't give them the chance to. For you." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, skipping over the part where he had mentioned protection, because Oliver wouldn't let him live that one down, "I reminded her it's rare she ever feels so strongly about anyone, that she shouldn't worry about the rules of dating or how soon it is." McKenzie dropped his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it with way too much force before throwing it in the nearest trashcan, "You basically shoved her in his bed, gotcha. How the fuck aren't you day-drinking? I'd be spiking my coffee right now." "Rina didn't say she would. In fact she made it a point to say how he's probably already asleep." Just shut up, Parish. His reply received a humorless laugh, "Oh, definitely. You hearin' yourself?" "Sadly, yes." "Good, because currently I feel like walking into traffic to put myself out of this misery…", Oliver pointed ahead of him and clicked his tongue, "but knowing my luck, the closest I'd get is getting run over by a kid biking to school, scarring us both in the process." "Dramatic." McKenzie blinked slowly, "I'm dead serious. And your phone?"

"My phone?", Parish felt his pockets with his free hand, wondering if he had managed to swipe it with another 'magic trick'. Certainly wasn't uncommon for him to pickpocket for kicks, even their Chief, Buchanan. "Yes. Why were you staring at it like it held the solution to all of our cases, and then some?" He produced the device to Oliver, his screen still on Sabrina's open message that he had reread an embarassing amount of times and tried to convince himself it had nothing to do with her late night guest. "I will be in a little bit later today.", McKenzie read her text that wasn't anything unusual to receive from any of the other detectives in Missing Persons, for Sabrina though, it felt out of character, monumental. Both of them were aware of that. "Leslie 'God-how-much-I-wish-you-had-a-middle-name-right-now-so-I-can-scold-you-like-a-mother-would' Parish.", the first part flew past his lips in record speed, "You got this from her and are still thinking she hadn't followed your advice to grab the handsome egomaniac by his horns?" Leslie hoped his shrug was nonchalant enough, "There could be another explanation. Many, in fact." Based on the 'Are you kidding me' look he received, his partner in crime wasn't buying it, "You sweet summer child."

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