#Olicity Moments

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Favorite Otps/Pairings: Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak (Arrow) "We are the best parts of each other. And that is so much bigger than the friggin' universe."

[unhinged-as-hell]

Me rewatching Arrow for the 100th time knowing exactly when all the characters are gonna get together: Just kiss already godammit!

[mrs-jamesbbarnes]

I’m rewatching Arrow and just getting all of the Olicity feels 🥹

[lemotomato]

Peter/Rose and Olicity parallels (3 of?) The Night Agent 1.01 / Arrow 2.07

[scarletcomalies]

storia di due anime perdute

Natasha Romanoff x Fem Reader

Word count: 5,400

Warnings: Dark fic, bullying from friends group, post-death grief (both from Natasha and Reader), emotional absence from a parent, depression, self isolation, manipulation. 18+ content, Nat has a penis, blowjob.

Taglist: @nattysbabygirl @huggingkoalas @grimleaper @olicity-boo @urfav-wh0re @ihartnat @afwmaieel-1 @marvels--slut @ddreader04 @obsessedwcoffeeandwomen @traveler-at-heart @osnapitschloe @foxythefox54 @justarandomreaderxoxo

A/N: Happy Halloween, guys! I wrote this during several stoned nights with In This Moment music videos playing in the background (which ended up in Lady Gaga music videos and with me recreating the choreographies lollll).

A/N II: I tried my best effort to write as much as possible in the middle of all the ongoing college projects and the everyday hecticness. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to finish it all by today. However, my semester is almost over, therefore the wait for part II will be way shorter! :)

In the serene village of Collodi, you encountered Natasha Romanoff, a woman in search of comfort and healing after the painful loss of her wife and daughter. She was moved by your lively personality, naiveté, and tender heart, leaving within her a yearning urge to take you, mold you like one of her puppets, and help you become her real girl.

In the enchanting region of Tuscany, Italy, hid a small village called Collodi, a dreamy corner protected by the intimidating mountains that surrounded it. This place, isolated from the hectic society, seemed to yearn fervently for the trees to consume it completely, wishing that only the memories and debris of what once was would remain in the end.

But that was not possible.

Collodi would still have been in the penumbra of oblivion if it wasn't for the pen of a blissful author to pay tribute to it through an immortal fictional story. It was as if it was destined to shine in the vast darkness of the commonplace.

Because it was not as visually captivating as Monterosso al Mare, for example, a town that was part of the five villages that, in perfect unity, formed Cinque Terre.

Monterosso al Mare did not long to be consumed and forgotten. It enjoyed its own prominence along with its neighboring towns.

From miles away, its structure could be seen standing tall with dignity on the seashore, and the palette of colors that it had was a delight for the eyesight, a canvas painted by the hand of an expert brought to life. Collodi, on the other hand, appeared as a spectrum between shades yellow and brown, and didn't stand firm, it rather seemed to be on the verge of crumbling at any given moment.

But Natasha Romanoff found beauty in Collodi.

You see, Monterosso al Mare was always displaying its vibrant colors, there being no room for exhaustion or rest, and its neighboring towns shared that quality. Totally exposed to the scrutiny of others, it was constantly adapting to the expectations of those who visited it. No matter who crossed its thresholds, no matter who might inflict harm, it must always stand firm, clinging to the reputation it had so painstakingly cultivated.

Collodi didn’t have such obligation, for it was simply Collodi. Yes, it may have had a history that was inevitably inherent, but this town was still completely detached from the demands of appearance and expectations.

Natasha Romanoff found beauty in Collodi, because having been Monterosso Al Mare, cost her the life of her wife and daughter.

And in Collodi, she found you.

“What a boring town,” exclaimed Kate, one of the two people who were once considered your friends.

“No way, the House of Butterflies was amazing,” you countered, as a smile instinctively plastered on your face as you recalled the memory of the previous day.

You had seen species of butterflies that rarely appeared in everyday life, and the best part, you had the opportunity to befriend some animals! When you offered them food, they would offer you their trust and appreciation, confirming once again that pattern so rooted in your being.

The concept of love you had was limited to the material, to what could be offered in that aspect. Both Kate and your other friend, Sarah, seemed to have sensed that nature in you, and decided to take full advantage of it, knowing that your concept of normality made you vulnerable to their intentions.

“Yes, and that was it,” Sarah intervened, and the boredom so palpable in her voice made your smile fade at once. True, you had only walked around town and gone shopping, but hadn't the previous day been enough? Was it necessary to do something extraordinary every day?

It did sting a little, given how thrilled you still were about the previous day’s activity, but from what you were hearing, your friends no longer shared that enthusiasm. Nor did they settle for at least one single calm day.

"Get us some of that good gelato, at least," Kate spoke up, after noticing your silence.

You nodded obediently, "Sure thing. Be right back."

You knew the bitter taste of disappointment as if it were your old arch enemy.

It was a feeling that has been with you since childhood, specifically the day your mother's life was snatched away by a terminal illness, robbing you of the joy that should have characterized any child's early years.

As life went on without that important figure by your side, you longed for the warmth and comfort of your father. However, instead, he taught you a raw truth: absence in life was more painful than the absence due to death itself, for the soul leaves without leaving the physical body.

You dreamed of his protective embrace, of his deep voice telling you bedtime stories, of feeling his loving hands tuck you into bed each night. But your father was not your mother, nor was he the father you used to know.

This new man, consumed with his work as a way of coping with grief, became obsessed with the expansion of his business. In his mind, securing a prosperous financial future for you was the best way to demonstrate his love and care, for if only his then small business had had the resources to cover the costs of treating the illness, your mother would still be with you.

So, instead of the human safety you needed so badly, you received an insane number of expensive gifts and unnecessary luxuries. Every one of them being his way of saying "I love you, I'm not going to fail you".

Oh, but he failed you. Every time he chose his job over you. Every time he missed your birthday, every promise he broke. With the expensive gifts and lavish vacations, he offered as compensation, you learned that affection was shown through material goods, and not necessarily through presence and emotional connection. It became your only way to express and receive affection, because it was all you had known your whole life.

Sarah and Kate were quick to notice the situation. At first, they just wanted to compliment you on your fancy bag and strike up a conversation with you to gain your trust, hoping that, when the time came, they would know you well enough to borrow it for a party or event where they could show it off as their own. However, after only a week, when you gave them each a bag just like yours as a thank you for sitting down with you for lunch and chatting, they realized that it was in their best interest to keep pretending to like you, as it would benefit them.

That's how they even ended up in Italy without spending a single penny in the first place.

It was a birthday trip that your father financed, once again rewarding the fact that he had forgotten about it. He also agreed to let you invite your two “best friends” in the hope that you would forgive him.

And so, as you returned with three ice creams in hand, you felt like you carried with you the key to an elixir to keep harmony among your friends. But the ground, capricious and uneven, laughed at you, with a prominent stone lurking to trip you up. In your haste to please, you did not see it coming.

Your body collapsed, crushing the ice cream cones, and the cold, sticky mess spread all over your dress. To top it all off, the rough cobblestone street also scraped your delicate arms and hands.

You winced in pain as you pushed yourself up, noticing the red marks and small cuts that now adorned your once-flawless skin.

Embarrassed and hurt, you looked up, expecting to see concern on your friends' faces. Instead, you were met with sneers and poorly concealed laughter.

"Oh my God, (Y/N)," Sarah scoffed, her voice dripping with disdain.

Kate joined in, her eyes showing a cruel amusement, "Seriously? We asked for gelato, not a circus act."

Your cheeks burned with shame as you struggled to your feet, your now wet and cold dress clinging uncomfortably to your body.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, fighting back tears. "I'll go get some new ones..."

"Don't bother," Kate snapped, rolling her eyes. "You'll probably just drop those too. Jesus! And now we must be seen with you looking like that!"

You felt small, insignificant, and utterly alone as your so-called friends tore into you with those hurtful remarks. The beautiful day in Collodi, which had held so much promise, now felt tainted and ugly.

Was this what true friendship was supposed to feel like? Was this the essence of the connection?

Tears, hot and stinging like acid rain, began to stream down your cheeks at the thought of it all.

"Oh, great. Now she's crying,” Kate's exasperated sigh made itself present.

"All right, come on," Sarah's voice dripped with annoyance. "You need to pull yourself together. This is beyond embarrassing."

"Look, if you can't stop whining like a baby, at least walk a couple of meters behind us," Kate ordered you. “We don’t want anyone thinking we’re with… you.”

You.

That one-syllable word spoken so contemptuously and coldly, as if you were enough to make any accompanying insult seem redundant.

And you, meekly nodding, prepared to follow their cruel order.

But as you took a step to follow behind them, a gentle but firm hand grabbed your arm, stopping your movement.

Startled, you looked up to find yourself confronted by a striking woman with flame-red hair and piercing green eyes.

There was something in her gaze that invited you to resist, to question, to not let yourself be carried away by the current of contempt that surrounded you.

And when she spoke, your ears were delighted by her smooth-as-honey voice.

“Do not follow them, solnyshko,” she said, dropping the unfamiliar word with a slight accent. “They are not worth your tears or your time.”

For the very first time, there was someone willing to protect you, to remind you of your worth in a world that seemed to want to erase it.

Your subconscious, conditioned by years of neglect, sounded alarms at this strange kindness. It screamed insidiously, urging you to retreat to the cold yet familiar comfort of abandonment and life-draining complacency.

That made you gently pull your arm from Natasha's grasp, your eyes downcast in embarrassment.

"No, you don't understand," your voice trembled like a leaf in autumn's chill. "It was my fault."

Natasha's eyes flickered with sudden comprehension. That sentence alone allowed her to decipher you completely.

The vulnerability you exuded, the eagerness to please despite mistreatment, it all spoke to something deep within her. It would be a crime to let you go, knowing you were perfect material for satisfying her needs.

She glanced briefly at the retreating silhouettes of the college girls you were with, a flicker of indignation crossing her features. They were merciless, cruel in their treatment of you. Natasha knew she was different. She wasn't going to make you suffer like them, because she was far from mean.

Instead, she would shower you with the warmth of genuine care, something you had clearly been deprived of for so long. In time, she would become as essential to you as the air you breathed. You would need her, finding it impossible to abandon her. And in return, she would have someone who needed her, someone she could protect and nurture, someone she could mold to her liking to fill that void that had been devouring her insides like a ravenous parasite.

"Your fault that this town's ground is made of stone? Your fault that it's dark already?” She asked gently. Instead of offering empty reassurances, she aimed to give you some autonomy, allowing you to discover the truth for yourself.

Her smile became unavoidable as she noticed your wide, innocent eyes intently analyzing her questioning.

"Could you have predicted every uneven surface? Every shadow?" She continued, her tone encouraging reflection rather than accusation. "And these friends of yours," Natasha pressed on, scoffing with contempt so palpable it made you flinch. She made your terrifying friends seem insignificant in the face of her formidable presence. “They have never stumbled? Are they always perfectly graceful?"

This question hit home. You had a fair share of memories of Kate tripping over her own feet at parties and Sarah passing out in some stranger’s backyard. You had never blamed them for their clumsiness. So why were you holding yourself to an impossible standard not even they could meet?

How silly of you, taking blame for something so clearly beyond your control.

A small, rueful smile became clear as you realized the absurdity of your self-accusation.

"You see, dear?" Natasha chuckled at your adorable smile. She felt her cock reacting as well through a painfully, intense throbbing. Every fiber of her being screamed for release, so overwhelming it threatened to consume her entirely, to break through her carefully constructed walls. But not yet, she reminded herself, her fists clenching with the effort of restraint. "Now, let's forget about them. Let's get you cleaned up, I don't live far from here."

Her invitation, or rather, command, caught you off guard, "But I don't know you," you gently declined. She didn’t budge, for she was more than sure that it would be a piece of cake to have you beneath her roof in the blink of an eye.

"Oh, right, my name is Natalia Romanova,” she introduced herself. “And your name is…?”

Unbeknownst to you, she had long ago stopped using the name Natasha Romanoff. It was an alias she'd adopted during her time as an Avenger back in the United States, but she had renounced that life, therefore, she no longer needed that identity. As for "Black Widow", the mere mention of it now filled her with loathing.

“Nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N),” you replied, trying to sound polite even after your small rejection.

Noticing your slight discomfort, Natasha decided to lighten up the tension that was beginning to build up, going ahead to reach into her pocket and show you a small, perfectly carved wooden figurine.

It was a cat! You adored cats.

"This is Figaro," Natasha introduced you to her little piece of wood, a fond smile adorning her lips. "He's my dear cat. Well, a miniature version of him."

Your eyes were drawn to the marvelous craftsmanship of the figurine. "Wow," you gasped, and your curious fingers itched to touch it, but you held back. "Did you do this?"

"I did,” she confirmed with pride. This woodworking hobby, alongside her tuxedo cat and golden fish, seemed to be the sole source of joy in her miserable existence. “I do this for a living. My house is filled with pieces like this.”

"That's amazing," you replied, genuinely impressed. "I bet they're all as stunning as this one," you remarked, gesturing to the figure in her hand.

Her smile expanded, almost impossibly so. It had been ages since she smiled like this, and perhaps it was twisted of her that the reason was the anticipation of taking you and exploiting you fully.

"Not as stunning as real-life Figaro," she countered, her eyes softening with affection. "Oh, just imagine the softest cloud you've ever seen, now picture it in black and white colors. That's Figaro."

The way Natasha described him with such genuine warmth and affection made your heart squeeze in tenderness, and your defenses were slowly crumbling, just like she predicted. After all, you reasoned, how could someone who talked so lovingly about their cat possibly be dangerous?

"Well,” she concluded, with a small sigh that feigned disappointment. "If you accepted my invitation, you could see him in person. But I understand. It's dangerous to go to a stranger's home. That’s wise of you."

The thought of letting down such a kind-hearted woman was intolerable. How could you possibly walk away after she had been so sweet and kind to you? You finally met someone who treated you with respect, and this was your response? How ungrateful!

"You know, actually," you finally spoke, so quickly they successfully interrupted your recurring thoughts. "I think I'd like to meet Figaro now, if that's okay."

Natasha's face lit up, her emerald eyes sparkling with an intense delight. Everything turned out exactly as she wanted, making her feel like an expert puppeteer effortlessly manipulating the strings of her most treasured marionette.

"Of course it's okay, solnyshko," she replied cheerfully. Anyone with an ounce of reasoning would wonder why she seemed so eager to bring a stranger girl home, but not you. Certainly not you. "You won't regret it, I assure you."

In the small village chambers, lanterns flickered softly, casting shadows that danced and twisted. Initially, these shadows appeared as large, intimidating figures, but upon closer inspection, they transformed into friendly faces with wide smiles. Yet, when their eyes met Natasha, they seldom did not recognize her.

"Natty! Buona notte, cara mia!" They always exclaimed, their voices brimming with enthusiasm and eyes aglow. A dull ache settled in your chest. It seemed wrong to feel that twinge of envy, yet you couldn't recall the last time anyone appeared that delighted to see you, and you couldn't help but long for it to be you to be greeted that way.

Unlike your so-called friends who always insisted on walking ahead, leaving you trailing behind like an afterthought, Natasha walked alongside you. Her emerald eyes occasionally glanced your way, a gentle smile gracing her lips.

The ice cream stain on your dress was still visible, your eyes, though no longer wet with tears, remained red and puffy. Yet, Natasha radiated an intrinsic pride in having you by her side, as if your presence was something to be cherished rather than hidden away.

“Well, here we are,” Natasha exhaled a deep sigh of relief as she turned the key and pushed open the door to her home, inviting you to step inside. The comforting embrace of warmth following the biting chill was a welcome relief.

Unlike most homes, there was no central overhead light. Instead, small lanterns perfectly scattered throughout the space illuminated it cozily.

The entire first level served as Natasha's workplace, living room, dining room, and kitchen, all in one. Though there were no walls dividing these areas, the transitions were clear.

To your left, Natasha's creations dominated the entire corner, making it a challenge to navigate without stepping on something. Positioned by the window was a long table with a variety of well-used tools, including hammers, a saw, screwdrivers, pliers, and wrenches.

On the opposite side, to your right, there was a kitchen, equipped with just a fridge, a sink, and vintage stove, alongside a small wooden table that could seat two people maximum, and you wondered if Natasha had crafted it herself. The middle area displayed a fireplace with a couch positioned in front of it, and on a side table, there was a round fishbowl containing a goldfish, which immediately caught your attention.

"Please, excuse the mess," Natasha remarked with a hint of guilt. She never cleaned her home more than necessary because she never expected visitors, as she preferred to personally deliver everything to those who requested her work, from the smallest souvenir to the most unbearably heavy piece of furniture. You might never have realized it, but you were the first person to set foot in her home by her own will and not because people intrusively knocked on her door to request commissions or to drop off gifts.

"No, no, it's great," you replied sincerely, having already scanned every corner of the place. Her old superhero friends might think this wasn't Natasha at all, but to you, who had only met this side of her, it definitely screamed Natalia everywhere, and all those residents of Collodi could say the same.

"Please, do take a seat!" She exclaimed so energetically that her voice could have echoed throughout the entire neighborhood. Without a moment's hesitation, you went to sit by the fireplace, the gentle flames providing you with so much warmth that you almost forgot the ice cream on your dress. "Stay here, I'll find you some clothes," she added, stepping away without taking her eyes off you, with fear that you might vanish at any moment.

While awaiting the return of the red-haired woman, you swiftly took out your phone to send a message to your friends, letting them know that you were fine and that you would get back soon. In your noble heart, you believed that they might worry about you, even if they were angry at you. However, the way they abandoned you with a stranger and walked away without looking behind unequivocally proved otherwise.

"See if this fits you," the same raspy, indistinct voice made you look up, and you gasped in surprise when you noticed that, in the arm not holding the change of clothes, she was carrying the famous cat Figaro she had told you about. His pupils were dilated due to the dim light, yet you could still notice a faint yellow ring encircling those dark orbs. He stayed calm, allowing his owner to carry him without squirming or resisting.

"Oh, he's gorgeous!" You exclaimed, just a few seconds were enough for this feline to capture your heart.

She chuckled softly, placing the little one on the couch beside you, "Clean clothes and a kitty, just as we agreed."

As if on cue, Figaro suddenly jumped from the couch, his black and white fur almost a comedic, straight-out-of-cartoon blur as he darted across the room and disappeared behind a stack of wooden carvings.

"I should have mentioned, Figaro doesn't like strangers."

You couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, for you had hoped to pet the furry cat, “Oh, that’s okay.”

Noticing your expression, Natasha chuckled, "But don't worry, once you offer him some food, he'll forget all about being shy and will come running back to you,” she reassured you, handing you the neatly folded garments.

"Thank you very much, where can I change?" You inquired, accepting the clothes that seemed extremely comfortable even without considering the chill and sticky stain of your dress.

"You can change here. I'll go upstairs to give you privacy. Just let me know when you're ready," she replied with such sincerity that it was impossible not to believe her.

When she left you alone, she ascended the stairs as she usually did, and when she reached the last step, with great care, she lay down on the floor, peering her head to see you. Never had she been so grateful for the darkness of her abode, for without it, you would have seen her head lurking at the top of the stairs.

Oh, blessed be the moment you chose to wear that dress, for it granted her the exquisite opportunity to admire your entire form, your most desirable parts covered by a black lace lingerie ensemble.

Her hand slowly traveled down to the burning ache that formed between her legs, which pulsed intensely through her already hard length. She tried to soothe the discomfort with a gentle squeeze, however, said action condemned her to complete what she had begun, lest she risk losing her sanity.

Therefore, with her eyes shut tight, she quietly made her way to the bathroom, promising herself to stay silent for just a moment to quell her longing.

She inhaled deeply and rested her hands against the sink. The mirror showed her flushed face, nostrils flaring from her labored breathing, and the familiar vein protruding on her forehead.

She exhaled through her mouth and lowered the zipper of her pants, revealing the fabric of her boxers. Unsurprisingly, there was a slightly darker wet patch of her pre-cum, showing just how much relief her poor member was desperately looking for. Subsequently, she slid her hand under the undergarment, and…

“I’m ready!” She heard your voice from downstairs.

“Yebany v rot,” she cursed between gritted teeth.

She hesitated, debating between coming down to join you, or staying there to prioritize her own needs. Yet, just picturing your eager little face and probably your hungry tummy prompted her to pull up her pants again. With another deep breath, she composed herself as best as she could to return to you.

Seeing you in that attire shattered the fragile composure she had managed to gather, causing her breath to hitch and a tight knot to form in her throat, which she clumsily attempted to swallow down.

You looked so perfect, wearing her clothes, slightly oversized over your frame in a way that was both endearing and domestic, even. Not to mention the fact that you would carry her scent for the rest of the night.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, noticing how her already tense expression worsened the moment her eyes landed on you. You assumed that perhaps the way those clothes fit you wasn't quite right. Maybe she expected them to be more form-fitting, which would mean looking for other clothes, and maybe she was already too tired to deal with that hassle.

"Nothing, it's just that… I'm feeling kind of tense, it's obviously not your fault," she tried to explain. It would be a shame to lie to you, especially when your naive mind already sensed the shift. "Hungry?" she asked, hoping to change the subject to ease your worries and distract herself.

"No, I already ate," you stated with a firmness that would have surprised anyone who had interacted with you, including her. "What's wrong?" you demanded.

Natasha, taken aback, but determined, admitted, "You look beautiful.”

She wasn't by any means shy. She could have taken you right there, knowing you were too weak to defend yourself and would have let her. Nevertheless, she didn't want that. She wasn't interested in being just another opportunist who crossed your path to take what she needed and leave. She wanted to make you so dependent on her that you would desire it in your heart to give it to her.

You furrowed your brow, confusion evident on your face. "Don’t try to distract me," you replied, shaking your head slightly.

With a deep breath, Natasha stepped closer. "Here," she murmured, gently taking your hand, guiding it to the front of her pants.

Your eyes widened in shock as you felt the unmistakable hardness there, provoking you to quickly pull your hand away, your cheeks matching the same deep shade of red as hers.

"I'm so sorry," Natasha apologized, taking a step back. "I shouldn't have... It's just... This is the problem. You're so beautiful, and my body reacted."

You stood there, frozen for a moment, your mind racing. You couldn’t deny, her nurturing and caring nature was irresistibly appealing to you. In some sense, she gave you the hope of reclaiming control and rewriting the story of abandonment that etched deeply into your soul.

"I... I think you're beautiful too," you spoke. "And after everything you've done for me tonight, the least I can do is... help you."

Natasha's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and concern crossing her features. "No, solnyshko. That's not necessary. I shouldn't have put you in this position."

But you took a tentative step forward, your heart pounding but your mind already made up. "I want to," you insisted softly. "Please, I want this."

"No, you don’t," she countered, the word tasting strange on her tongue. The offer you made was tempting, almost unbearably so, but she refused to be just another person you felt indebted to.

“I do,” you reiterated.

And you genuinely did.

Although you considered it strange that someone would reject your attempts to reciprocate those acts of kindness, it could be said that it was the first time it didn't feel like an obligation, but rather an opportunity to finally experience what it’s like to have such a physical connection with someone, let alone someone as attractive as her.

Material possessions were the only things you had relied on so far, so this could even be something unique between her and you.

"I have never done it before, so this is a win-win situation," you continued, trying to persuade her. "I help you, and you teach me."

She gazed into your eyes, discovering a profound yearning. She knew you meant every word, and it made her wonder, if a mere gesture of kindness could inspire such actions in you, to what extent would your commitment go if you became dependent on her?

"Alright," she agreed. "Let’s take it slow, and if you ever want to stop, just say the word."

Natasha reclined gracefully on the couch, parting her legs as an implicit invitation that seemed to compel you to approach her, all without the slightest motion or gesture from her part.

You chose to comply, kneeling between her legs. Despite her evident efforts to assert her dominance, you felt empowered by the mere knowledge that you could elicit such reactions from her, to the point where she was unable to conceal her distress, leaving her with no choice but to confess her attraction to you.

"You’re taking your time," she murmured, her voice evidencing a palpable sense of anticipation.

As you undid her button and unzipped her pants, you could feel the hardness of her member under the touch of your wrists, even when there were two layers of cloth covering it.

And all this for you.

Her cock sprang free and stood at attention after you pulled down the hem of her boxers and pants to below her balls. She remained motionless, not taking her green eyes from yours as you contemplated her arousal.

You knew it was big, and you knew it was agonizingly hard, but the reality overcame any assumptions when you were faced with easily ten inches in length, adorned by multiple prominent veins.

"Please, touch it," she pleaded, her voice abandoning any semblance of composure. Pride, that accursed pride, was meaningless when her body irrefutably ached for you.

Her tip was a deep pink, dripping with droplets of pre-cum. Taking it gently, wrapping your fingers around it, you picked up the droplets with your thumb and spread them around it, making it take on a peculiar sheen.

“Fuck,” she moaned, closing her eyes, and throwing her head back.

That alone gave you the confidence you needed to stroke her cock in up and down movements, successfully making her tremble under your touch.

Her full lips were slightly parted, and her breath came in short, sharp gasps or high-pitched whimpers. It was truly a welcome sight, witnessing someone entrust you with their body, openly displaying such vulnerability before you.

She extended her hand, firmly grasping your wrist, and guided your hand to the base of her erection. Simultaneously, her other hand gently rested on the back of your neck, offering encouragement rather than forcing you.

You wrapped your mouth around her already wet tip, moaning as you savored the warmth of the pre-cum that seemed to keep making itself present. You began to suckle her glans gently, letting your tongue take the place from time to time to tease her hole.

Her hand clutched at your hair, guiding your head as you began to bob up and down on her cock. Her breathing became shallower as you quickly found your rhythm, delighting in the view of half of her dick disappearing into your warm mouth and re-emerging glistening with your saliva and her fluids.

“Goddamn it," she muttered under her breath, her insatiable nature getting the better of her, compelling her to lift her hips upward. It was the way your throat contracted into a gag that made her involuntarily ejaculate her seed, the hot liquid filling your mouth.

“Fuuuck!” She cum in your mouth in one, two, three spurts. It was obvious by how her face contracted in pleasure that she had not anticipated that her cock had taken on a mind of its own, stripping her of any authority over it.

You endeavored to swallow as much as your astonishment and inexperience allowed, yet a gentle cough escaped you, causing a few drops to delicately trickle down your chin.

"Well done, malyshka," were the first words that escaped her lips once her breathing steadied.

You appeared utterly perfect, as you looked up at her with those doe eyes, with the sheen of her release enhancing the fullness and glossiness of your lips. She vowed never to entertain the thought of allowing you out of her sight.

You sealed your fate the moment your paths crossed, but you cemented your doom in that very instant.

[jbuffyangel]

No Choice to Make: Arrow 2x07 Review (State v. Queen)

Is there anything better than Oliver saving Felicity? The correct answer is no.  Of course, my feminist side is screaming Felicity can take care of herself (and does in most circumstances), but my inner Gloria Steinem needs to zip it.  I want romance novel heroism and “State v. Queen” delivers on a swoon worthy level.

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

This is easily my favorite Oliver protecting Felicity moment because there are so many nuances in their two primary scenes. However, to understand those nuances we have to review a little background information.

The Count escaped from Iron Heights during the earthquake (and released the Dollmaker while he was at it). I love this explanation for returning villains because it makes total sense. Logic in Arrow is rare jewel – treasure the moment.

Moira's trial is under way, but Diggle is not feeling well. Oliver sends John home, but he collapses in the bunker.

Oliver: I heard you passed out.

Diggle: I told Felicity not to call you.

Felicity: Yeah, but before that you said ‘gaw’ and ‘thud’ so I didn’t take it very seriously.

Felicity has John's blood tested and there are trace amounts of Vertigo in his system. They try Oliver’s antidote, but it doesn’t work. Adam Donner, the lawyer prosecuting Moira, also collapses in court due to Vertigo poisoning. The Count kidnaps him and forces him to take the drug to alleviate the withdrawal symptoms. It’s broadcasted live, so everyone affected knows the only cure is Vertigo.

I feel I would make a pretty good drug lord after watching Breaking Bad, Power and Queen of the South. The key to success is return customers, so this is not a half bad plan. You have to admire the Count’s industriousness. Ghost and Walter White would definitely approve.

Oliver hoods up after Felicity tracks Adam Donner’s location through the city seal of the Starling Municipal Records Department, which is reflected in Donner’s eye. Ok, so science is not sciencing in this episode. Felicity is immediately concerned about Oliver.

Felicity: I know what you're thinking.

Oliver: No you don't. I made a choice not put an arrow in this guy and it was the right choice. There’s no more killing.

Felicity was concerned Oliver would regret allowing The Count to live, but it’s just the opposite. He’s doubling down on his vow to Tommy. Oliver is not a conflicted man. He knows he made the right call. That's called growth, my friends.

Felicity’s little assertive nod means she backs Oliver’s decision one hundred percent. In fact, I’m sure she had a whole speech prepared for why not killing The Count was the right thing to do. It’s not just Oliver who believes there is a better way – Felicity and Diggle believe it too. This is as much their mission as it is Oliver’s. They also made a vow to Tommy to do better.

Unfortunately, The Count has caught wind that The Arrow’s aim is not lethal these days. The Count holds his arms wide open – an easy shot – and taunts Oliver to kill him, while Donner is held hostage by a henchman. It’s always a bit of a pickle to determine how Oliver is going to get himself out of these situations without killing. I’m all in favor of the vow he made, but killing does have some practical applications.

Of course, Oliver always finds another way. He fires on some flammable canisters, which creates a fire in a drug factory – clearly against OSHA regulations. Oliver spins and throws a flechette into the henchman’s arm, so he drops Donner and they make their escape.

THIS SCENE IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. REMEMBER WHAT OLIVER DID.

Felicity and Diggle determine the common denominator between all those poisoned with Vertigo is a flu vaccine, but they need to be sure. Oliver is busy with his mother’s trial at the courthouse and Diggle can barely walk. Felicity decides recon is on her tonight and seeks out the vaccine distribution van.  Low and behold, there is an entire shelf of Vertigo in the van, but The Count catches Felicity as she snoops.

Oliver and Thea are waiting for their mother’s verdict, which could be coming at any moment, when he receives a call from Felicity. But it’s not Felicity. It’s The Count.

The Count: Oliver? Is it okay if I call you Oliver? Surprised to hear from me, right? Not as surprised as I was. You see, I find this… not unattractive blonde getting all up in my business. And what does she have on her?

Source:  laurelscanary 

Oliver can hear Felicity crying on the other line and closes his eyes in absolute horror when he realizes she’s being held hostage.

The Count: A Queen Consolidated ID badge. Now, I think to myself, why does that name ring a bell? Oliver Queen. He tried to buy off me last year just before the hood put me in a padded cell. Ipso facto, ARROW.

Source:  laurelscanary 

Oliver doesn’t bother to contain his rage and without a second thought leaves the courthouse. Thea calls after him, reminding him that the jury will have a verdict anytime. All Oliver can tell her is that something came up at the office, but he cannot hide shakiness in his voice.  Oliver is afraid.

Oliver arrives at Queen Consolidated, suit on but hood down. For practical purposes, he doesn’t need to conceal his identity from The Count because he already figured it out – something so many other characters have failed to do with much more information than he had.

But from a symbolical perspective, the hood down is crucially important. Oliver is not here as The Arrow. He is here as Oliver Queen. This is personal to him. So much of this series is about Oliver struggling to reconcile his two halves – the hood and the man, but Felicity is one of the few people who truly knows both sides. He doesn’t have to hide with her.

Oliver approaches very slowly. He recognizes The Count has the upper hand and he cannot afford any mistakes. Felicity is zip tied to a chair and The Count holds a gun on her while he strokes her ponytail. That action alone sends the creep factor sky high.

Source: @yet-i-remain-quiet

There is a sexual element to Felicity’s kidnapping. The Count referenced her attractiveness on the phone with Oliver. Now he’s stroking her ponytail. Oliver asks The Count what he wants and he responds, “World peace and personal satisfaction. Though not necessarily in that order.��� He massages Felicity’s shoulders at “personal satisfaction” in the grossest way possible.

Source: @yet-i-remain-quiet

It’s a thinly veiled threat of sexual assault, which does not go unnoticed by Oliver.  There are few things worse than rape and it serves to amplify Felicity’s terror and Oliver’s powerlessness and rage. If the writers intended to keep Oliver and Felicity strictly platonic they would not introduce this terribly disturbing aspect into the scene.

The Count monologues for a bit longer and tells Oliver someone else hates him almost as much. This mysterious benefactor funded the Vertigo operation, so The Count could draw The Arrow out and kill him. (Spoiler alert: it was Blood).

The Count gets the drop on Oliver and fires off a couple rounds. It forces Oliver to run and dive behind a couch. It always surprised me The Count was able to get the upper hand in this moment, which points to Oliver’s fear for Felicity more than anything. He’s not thinking strategically when it’s her life in danger. He can’t.

The Count cuts the zip ties and grabs Felicity by the ponytail. He drags her to the spot where Oliver was hiding, ready to finish him off, but this time Oliver gets the drop on him. He points an arrow squarely at The Count’s chest, but he is using Felicity as a shield. The Count holds two syringes of Vertigo (a lethal dose) to Felicity’s neck. It’s important to remember Oliver’s antidote for Vertigo did not work on Diggle.

Source: @yet-i-remain-quiet

Don’t ever say to me Felicity Smoak is not a hero. She was willing to die to keep Oliver’s vow to Tommy. Felicity was ready to trade her life for Oliver’s soul. She believes in Oliver, and their mission, that much. What's madness is thinking Oliver would put the vow before her life.

The Count orders Oliver to lower his bow, which he does and tosses the arrow to the floor. Then we see him do something Oliver never does – he tries to negotiate.

Again, Oliver doesn’t bother to hide the fear in his voice which makes the negotiating sound a lot like begging.

The Count: Consider this your penalty for making me go to plan B in the first place.

The Count raises the syringes to Felicity’s neck and Oliver manages to pull not one, but three arrows in rapid succession - killing The Count. 

The look on Oliver’s face when he fires the arrows, tell me two things.  First, this kill is emotional. When Oliver shoots to kill he typically only needs one arrow. The Arrow never misses. Three arrows is excessive.  It is literally overkill which means one thing – pure rage.  

Second, the act is instinctual.  The rapid succession in which he fires the arrows shows there is something programmed deep in Oliver’s bones to protect Felicity. Her life was threatened and his body simply reacted.

Felicity drops to the floor and The Count crashes through the window. Oliver closes his eyes and exhales like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. I think it is part relief and part regret. He doesn’t regret killing that bastard, but regrets he couldn’t find another way this time.   

Or was there? Upon this rewatch I noticed a couple things. First, Laurel was held hostage by the Dollmaker and Oliver did not kill him. (Sara did the honors that time). But consider the scene with Donner. Oliver threw a flechette into the henchman’s hand to free Donner. The henchman let go of Donner as a reflex to the pain. Could Oliver attempt the same with Felicity? Would a flechette in The Count’s arm free her as well?

The point is we’ll never know. Oliver made a calculated risk at the municipal when he fired on the flammable liquid and injured, but didn’t kill, The Count’s henchman. Oliver was willing to take the risk when Donner and Laurel were involved, but not Felicity.

I’ve been watching a lot of Bridgerton, so the next scene screams romance novel to me.

Source: AARONSWARNER

Oliver makes his way to Felicity who remains crouched on the floor and crying.  He gets down on one knee and tenderly touches her shoulder.

Source: AARONSWARNER

Felicity immediately flinches in fear at his touch, so Oliver in a voice so soft it’s almost a whisper, gently reassures her. She finally looks up and sees Oliver staring back at her with concern and love. She exhales with relief.

Source: AARONSWARNER

The shock wears off quickly once she hears Oliver’s voice and feels his hand on her shoulder. Oliver’s first thought is for Felicity, but her first thought is for him. SHIP COUPLES WHO WORRY ABOUT EACH OTHER FOR CLEAR SKIN.

Source: AARONSWARNER

Oliver moves his uninjured arm from Felicity’s shoulder and cups her face. The man has an actual bullet in his shoulder, but can feel no pain because Felicity Smoak is alive and safe. She is all that matters to him.

Source: AARONSWARNER

These physical moments are no small thing. Oliver keeps an extremely rigged line with Felicity that he rarely crosses. Shoulder touches are the maximum physical contact he allows and even those are on rare occasion. But she almost died tonight, so Oliver allows himself to take it one step further and touches Felicity’s face.  Oliver��s whispered reassurances in his reserved-for-Felicity-only voice unveil the real intimacy between them. He comforts her. Not in the way Oliver would like, but in the way he can allow. The line is still there, but it’s blurred at the moment.

There is no moment which better encapsulates the two sides of Oliver Queen than this scene. One moment he is a rage filled killer and the next he is a soft spoken, loving and tender man. It is not an accident the two sides merge into one for her. Darkness and light working in perfect cohesion to be the hero Felicity Smoak needed.

Source: @laurelscanary

Oliver makes his way back to the courthouse. He is so visibly shaken that Thea asks Oliver if he’s okay. She touches his injured shoulder and Oliver flinches, but it’s not the bullet that’s bothering him. He came too close to losing Felicity. Way too close.

Source: @laurelscanary

Sadly, this somewhat reinforces what Oliver said to Felicity in 2x06. There is a direct correlation between proximity to Oliver and danger, so he thinks it’s better to remain emotionally unattached. In his mind, keeping Felicity at arm’s length means keeping her safe.

But there’s what Oliver says and what he feels. He can refuse to acknowledge or act upon his feelings for Felicity, but that does not eradicate them. If Oliver is truly worried about proximity then why does he allow Felicity to be part of the team? Two reasons, Oliver needs Felicity and firmly believes they can protect her. But this was a frightening close call and Oliver’s fear is stemming from a more than friendly place. Felicity Smoak has become too important to him and it is scaring the crap out of him.

Source: FERRISBUELLER

Oliver returns to the bunker after his mother’s verdict to check on Diggle and Felicity. The way he looks Felicity up and down y’all is… a lot. Queen Consolidated is formulating a non addictive antidote for the people with Vertigo poisoning. Moira is not guilty. All’s well that ends well, so Oliver tells Diggle and Felicity to go home and rest.

But Felicity needs to get something off her chest.

Felicity: Oliver, I uh…

The way this man spins at the sound of her voice like he's a golden retriever who saw a squirrel. He is so gone for this woman.

Felicity: I just wanted to say thank you.

Oliver: (nods) Yeah.

Source: laurelscanary

He truly cannot fathom what she is apologizing for and steps much closer than necessary.

Source: laurelscanary

It seems Felicity has inherited a little bit of Oliver’s guilt complex. YOU WERE KIDNAPPED MY PRECIOUS CUPCAKE!!!

Source: laurelscanary

HE. TAKES. HER. HAND. We had a shoulder touch, tender face caressing and now holding hands. At this point, this equivalent to first base for these two. MY BRAIN SHORT CIRCUITED.

Source: laurelscanary

Earlier in the episode, Oliver and Felicity discussed not killing The Count previously and how it was the right decision. Oliver’s certainty in the rightness of the decision solidifies his commitment to his vow to Tommy. It is not something Oliver is questioning or wavering on. 

But Oliver is not qualifying what happened to Felicity in those terms. This is not about right or wrong. In fact, it wasn’t a decision at all. Oliver was not calculating the risks. Oliver was not thinking about a vow, or honoring his best friend, or the mission. His only thought was Felicity and her safety. Oliver simply reacted. All he could see was Felicity. All he could feel was the unbridled rage that came from anyone threatening her life.  It is programmed deep into Oliver’s bones to protect Felicity. There is no rational thought when it comes to her.

Nor does he care if it was right or wrong now. Oliver is not Monday morning quarterbacking the situation. Someone raised a hand to her, so that person is dead. End of discussion.

There is a war happening between Oliver’s mind and his heart. Oliver was clearly thinking with his head when he told Felicity in 2x06 that he will not allow himself to love her. But this episode was a completely different story. Sometimes life and death circumstances bring a much needed moment of clarity. Oliver may believe he has a choice whether or not he loves Felicity, but his actions show his heart knows different. There is no choice to make.

Moira Queen

The trial is not going well, so Moira is forced to testify. Laurel is lead prosecutor now that Donner is infected with Vertigo.  "Conflict of Interest" is flashing in a neon sign. On any planet in the solar system, Laurel would recuse herself. THE INSANITY GIVES ME A MIGRAINE.

Laurel also decides she’d like to get disbarred and visits Moira in prison because they are “family." Yack. Give me a break. She doesn’t want Moira to take the stand because Laurel will have to prosecute her to the best of her ability and use their smoking gun. Sure, because now she cares about legal procedure.

So, Moira comes clean to Oliver and Thea and tells them she had a one night stand with Malcolm Merlyn while married to their father.  The kids are shocked to say the least. Oliver has a solid case of the yicks. Thea is more than a little angry since she accused her mother of having an affair with Merlyn last year. Moira assures Thea it was not an affair, so technically she didn’t lie. Moira should teach Professional Gaslighting 101.

Inexplicably, Moira is found not guilty. (In my notes: Hahaha suck it Laurel)

Even Oliver is wondering what the fuck just happened. Upon release from prison, Moira is driven to a secret location to meet up with none other than MALCOLM MERLYN. His explanation for being alive is basically, “I’m a super awesome actor and faked it.” Oliver – did you check his pulse? What happened to the body? Did we miss a step Team Arrow? CLEARLY WE DID.

Merlyn bought the jury and Moira’s freedom (Ummm thanks I guess?) so he can deliver the second bomb. He ran a DNA test and knows he’s Thea’s father. PLOT TWIST! Honestly, this makes a lot of sense. I wasn't that surprised. Thea looks more like Tommy than she does Oliver.

Wait, this means Thea kissed her brother. Are we just going to Star Wars this and never talk about it again? Works for me.

Stray Thoughts

Oh shut up Laurel. Quit your bitching - me every time she opens her mouth lately.

Ivo is looking for the hosen because it contains coordinates to a sub that sunk in WWII. Whatever is on the sub can save the world. Shado and Oliver hope it can save Slade, so Team Island is going on a submarine field trip!

Slade has burns on half his body and yet he can still move. The man is not human.

"I have this thing about needles, all pointy things, which is ironic given who we work for.” I just love her so much.

David Ramsey is so enormous he doesn’t fit on the table. The mind cannot conceive of all that muscle.

 “Mom secrets are what put you into this situation. Secrets and lies. And now is the time to give truth its day.” Oh the irony, Oliver.

Donner took drugs on live television. Re-election is going to be a real bitch for the DA.

I like the Thea’s boxing moment with Roy. Nice foreshadowing. Girl is going to have a lot of rage to work through.

Laurel did make a good point about Walter and Merlyn. See? I can be positive about her.

OLIVER. STOP. ASKING. LAUREL. IF. SHE. IS. OK. Her whole “how can you possibly forgive me” speech was also nauseating and not believable. I like her better drunk.

“I’m pretty sure they aren’t interested in Buddhism.” Slade is burned over half his body but he jokes.

30-30-175-12 I’m sure that has something to do with the comics but I don’t care.

Some guy named Cyrus survived Blood’s Frankenstein experiment. So that’s not good.

Listen to the Watchover podcast reaction to 2x07!!!

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[maevelin]

Hindsight is 20/20

Nostalgia hit me and I have been rewatching Arrow and one of the things that had bothered me about Olicity (while being an Olicity fan - still am lol) is the way Felicity broke up with Oliver after him not telling her about William in S4.

It felt rushed and it didn't put Felicity in a good light but now that I have watched Arrow in its entirety I can finally see where this is coming from and it even gives me another perspective on Olicity.

Putting aside Felicity's fear for abandonment and the way she immediately kept jumping the gun whenever there was a secret concerning Oliver (proof how she immediately told him about Thea's parentage secret) I think that Felicity was also kind of ...right in the end?

Yes she was projecting her fears and in a hypocritical way some times as she had confessed too but deep down she knew who Oliver Queen was better than anyone.

I mean it in the way that Felicity had understood Oliver's thought process and his tendency for sacrifice better than literally anyone (even Diggle) and she knew once he set him mind on something he would go secretly about it and take charge. She knew him better than anyone and she was in panic trying to protect herself from losing him because deep down she knew there would be only stolen moments of happiness and then he would be gone and she would not be part of the decision because Oliver was the kind of hero that would do the unthinkable for the greater good. And that would mean her emotional devastation.

If you think about it when it comes to their foundation of trust it all starts falling apart in S3. The secrets and the actions chosen when Oliver decided to join the league of assassins in S3 and kept it a secret had consequences. He was ready to die on that plane and kept it a secret. Felicity barely processed that and forgave him at once when they left together to live their happy ending but that doesn't mean that she didn't get a clear and very terrifying insight on how Oliver operated and how his mindset was set in stone when it came to being a hero and what he would do for his mission.

I think what hurt Felicity the most (and was the catalyst for their breakup) was Oliver's decision to record the video for future William and it was a decision that didn't include her at all even though he had asked her to marry him so his decision (whatever that would be) would affect their future family. Plus it surely triggered Felicity's father issues and abandonment issues.

If you come down to it her biggest fear was losing Oliver and she would rather break up with him to save herself from future pain by ironically breaking up and losing him. But it was unfathomable to Felicity that she could have the perfect relationship with him and it would be snatched away and that Oliver would be a ticking bomb of secrets that could blow up at any moment.

Did they give all that in the most soap opera way once the spinal implant worked and she walked away. Yes.

But let us see how the future worked after that.

In order for Oliver to catch Diaz he gave himself up and went into prison which was a decision he made on his own in secret without including Felicity and that would affect and define their future lives. He kept that a secret and by the time it was revealed he had ensured that Felicity would not have the ability to change this because if there was one person that could stop Oliver from making those decisions was Felicity (as we saw when Oliver considered to join Hive and Darkh but Felicity put some sense to him).

And this was a pattern. A disturbing one till the end.

For his heroic sacrifice in the Crisis Oliver made one more a SECRET deal where he literally exchanged his life without telling Felicity even after he made it until the Monitor came to retrieve him. Which of course ended in what Felicity feared the most and she lost him. Living the life of a single mother as hers had.

This was his default setting and I think Felicity saw that from the start and eventually she had to accept it and come to peace with it in order to be with him but that does not change that in the end she had been right. Oliver kept secrets and made altering life decisions without including her.

His intentions were noble but that was the root of all of Felicity fears and problems with their relationship which in the end came full circle.

I feel they could have handled all that way better (storytelling wise) but once you see the full picture it works.

And yeah in the end Olicity got their HEA in the afterlife but that does not mean that they had an easy life. It was happiness from stolen moments while they were alive and then it was grief and separation and the price they had to pay for the life they were leading and the greater good.

[ageless-aislynn]

For 10 years, my fic with by far the most hits on AO3 was "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)."

And I'm proud of it, don't get me wrong. I think it actually contains some of my better writing. 🤷‍♀️ But it ended up being a one-off sort of thing: I thought I'd write more Olicity or Arrow in general and then just... didn't.

However, it was so far ahead of all of my other fics in hits, I figured nothing would ever challenge it for the top spot. I hadn't checked my stats in quite a while and so I was surprised to discover that the "Five Times" Olicity fic was now in second place.

I've written 114 fics in the Flash fandom and none of them have remained in my top 5, that was another surprise! But 3 of my 11 Halo fics now are: "15 Minutes," (John/female reader) "Side Effects" (John/Cortana, John/Kai, very NSFW) and "Recreation" (Kai/male reader, same world as "15 Minutes").

Now, why is any of that important? It's for the sheer fact that I don't write sci-fi military fiction well AT ALL. My interest has always been in the more domestic and romantic themes, for lack of a better thing to call it. "You write the moments between the adventures" was what somebody told me about my Doctor Who fics ("Balancing Act," which is third place on that list, is a multi-chaptered Ten/Donna NSFW romantic fix-it fic where every chapter clearly takes place after some sort of new adventure that I don't show you but instead reference 😉). I agree with that assessment, that IS basically what I write.

A little while ago, I read somebody criticizing a particular type of Halo fanfiction. They didn't name mine by name but basically said it wasn't written "properly" like it's "supposed" to be and was everything that's "wrong" with uninformed people writing things they shouldn't be.

Here's the kicker: I think they're wrong. If they would've pointed at somebody else's fic and said that same thing, I would've wanted to jump in and tell them to get over themselves. People are allowed to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy! If somebody wrote a story that's "wrong" in your opinion, then all you have to do is scroll on by.

Heck, if somebody wants to write about Master Chief riding into battle on a T-rex while waving a glowing, magic sword given to him personally by Gandalf the Grey... Well, dang it, I'd read it, lol! Yeah, that wouldn't take place in canon but what is fanfic even for if not to allow all sorts of exploration? What if Halo had dinosaurs and magic swords? What if Chief and Silver Team or Blue Team or a brand new team of OC Spartans desperately needed to go buy new curtains for their apartments after they'd hung out for a while at the most happening coffee shop on Reach where Thel 'Vadam was the barista who made amazing specialty drinks while also heading up the local garage band?

(Yeah, I made that manip for something else but might as well get more use out of it, right? 😂)

Anyway, you get my drift. If one of my fellow Halo writers would've gotten criticism like that, I would've challenged it. But it was too close to my own work and instead, I absorbed it. I feel like I shouldn't be writing for Halo, I'm too wrong, I'm too off. I mean, no wonder I'm struggling to finish my WIPs, right? That's the first thing that pops to mind when I try to write anything: Yeah, but you're doing this all wrong. You should be ashamed of what you're writing. You're insulting the real fans of Halo by trivializing the characters like this. You're disrespecting actual military people living today by getting too much of this wrong.

And so seeing those stats at AO3 really meant something to me. I know I don't write authentic action-orientated sci-fi military fiction. I know that. But I love the characters and I love seeing them in situations they wouldn't be in in canon and I can't even tell you why. But people have been reading my fics? At least, I hope the hits aren't coming from people passing the links around with a big ol' ZOMG, please don't ever write Halo like THIS IDIOT, okay??? attached to them. 🤞😣🤞😉

This sounds pretty silly seeing it written down like this. I know, it's like, Get over yourself, Ais, not everything is about you! But I've been really struggling to get to the root of my writer's block so I could figure out what's keeping me from finishing my WIPs. And seeing those stats tonight and realizing how many more times my Halo fics seem to have been read over my other fandoms...?

Well, that might only mean that Halo is just the more popular fandom right now and it's nothing more than that. But it's nice to think that, even though there are people out there who think somebody unqualified like me shouldn't be posting their ridiculous little stories, maybe there are other people who've enjoyed them, even as unauthentic as they are?

I dunno. Food for thought.

I'm hoping this will inspire me to at least finish up the next chapter for "15 Minutes." 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Thanks for reading. *hugs* to you if you've ever or are currently struggling with anything like this. Tell your stories, they're worth it. I believe in you. 🤗🤗🤗

I just need to try harder to believe in myself, hm? 🤔

PS - I've gotten SO MANY wonderful comments on my Halo fics, so why is it that the hate that might not even have been meant for me is so much louder in my head and crowds the nice comments out? I hate that, I truly do. 😖

[kitkatt0430]

5, 10, 26?

5.) Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

So my first thought is no and I think that's how I usually answer this. But it may actually be a bit more complicated in a 'no but yes' sort of way.

So. Oliver/Felicity was not the original plan for the Arrow. Felicity wasn't even supposed to be a main character. She wasn't even supposed to be there beyond that one episode she first showed up in. But the actress made such an impression on the cast, show runners, and the audience that she became more important. And while a lot of people - including myself - assumed she was an original character for the show, it turns out she was supposed to be just another comics cameo shout out to a character not even Green Arrow comics adjacent. Apparently comics Felicity Smoak was Ronnie Raymond's antagonist and step mom.

O_o The more you know, huh?

Anywho, presumably the original plan for the show was Oliver/Laurel endgame. Like in the comics, where Dinah/Oliver - with Laurel being Dinah Laurel Lance, after all - being Oliver's partner both in vigilantism and romance. It... obviously didn't go that way with Laurel being brutally and unnecessarily killed off for shock value in S4. And that may have happened in part because of the popularity of the Olicity ship.

Backtracking a bit here, but Felicity's actress and Oliver's actor had great onscreen chemistry from day one. I can understand why the show runners chose to pivot to this ship, given that chemistry and the sheer popularity of the ship with the fans.

Oliver/Felicity pretty quickly became the most popular ship for the fandom and it still is. Not even Oliver/Barry - the second most tagged ship for the fandom over on Ao3 - has even a quarter of the fics that Olicity has. 12,600+ fics as of this moment and no doubt it'll continue to steadily go up. (for comparison, Olivarry has 1,600+ fics tagged)

Honestly, I shipped Felicity/Oliver pretty quickly while watching S1 too. I liked their dynamic, that she was the sunshine to Oliver's grumpy, she was willing to call him out even when he still scared her, and she - at the time, anyway - was willing to respect that she wasn't entitled to his secrets.

But time marched on. The show began to flanderize the characters to some degree even as they fleshed them out in others. Felicity lost her willingness to respect Oliver's boundaries, Oliver proved incapable of keeping character development from one season to the next... and as Felicity/Oliver moved from interesting chemistry to ship tease to official couple, they began to bring out the worst parts of each other. And my enjoyment that they were finally together soured.

How much of them being the official couple was because of the show runners picking up on the actors chemistry independently of the fans and how much was them seeing how much the fans wanted it so why not... we'll probably never really know for sure. But I suspect that fandom's shipping of the characters in the early days before Oliver/Laurel had a chance to truly be cemented was what both contributed to them being the official couple and thus killing my enjoyment of the ship.

(I suspect that Laurel/Oliver were meant to follow the path that Iris/Barry eventually did. Both Laurel and Iris were dating someone else in S1, a someone else who died in the finale after a reveal that they were related to the main villain in some way. In S2 Iris and Laurel are both learning to move on and find themselves without that relationship. But in S3 of the Flash, Iris and Barry finally hook up, but Laurel begins her vigilante arc in S3 that puts her at odds with Oliver while Felicity gets a love triangle with Oliver and Ray where Ray 'dies' at the end of the season... a little familiar sounding am I right?)

So fandom did not directly ruin the Olicity ship for me, but there is an argument to be made that it did so indirectly. So no... but also yes.

10.) Most disliked arc? Why?

It's so hard to choose because, sadly, there are so many.

It could be Mark Blaine trying to kill Khione to get Frost back, throwing a hissy fit when he's told no, and then creeping on Khione like she's Frost's replacement goldfish.

It could be the promise that S6 would give us an important Iris plot that turned out to being Iris side lined in the mirror world, stuck there while the real plot was going on else where, being forced to watch a duplicate most likely rape her husband, be about to break out of the mirror world herself only to be immediately turned into a damsel for Barry to rescue, and the creepy way she doesn't speak at all between waking up after the 'rescue' and going to kickstart the modified ASF to wake the original Speed Force back up... (Okay, yeah, this is probably arc I hate the most but...)

It could be how we were promised an important plot line for Cisco in S7 before he left the show and got what looked like the show runners forgetting about that until the last minute, giving us what could have been a fun episode if it were not completely ruined by Cisco's massively out of character decision to tell his besties he's leaving for ARGUS at the last minute. After making Cisco the one who stays at STAR Labs in the bad Savitar future and showing again and again how important his friendships are to him... to have him treat his friends like that was kinda shitty, tbh. Hell, most people treat bosses and coworkers they dislike better by giving the optional two weeks notice.

Armageddon. I think I've complained about that enough that my reasons for hating it are well known by now.

26.) Most shippable character?

Oh this is so hard to pick. I'm a multi-shipper so all the characters are imminently shippable to me, whether it's romantic, a QPP, or close friendships.

But if I try to narrow it down, it's either Cisco, Barry, or Hartley. I've written the most for a search on Cisco Ramon/* of my works, but Barry's a close second when I do Barry Allen/* but I think Hartley's got the most crossover ships that I ship regardless of whether I've written for it or not, such as Tommy/Hartley, Rip/Hartley, Ray/Hartley, etc. (Mick started on the Flash but he's primarily a Legends character. Does he count as a crossover ship? Yes but also no. And no but yes.)

Though of the ladies, I think Iris is probably the most shippable to me though Caitlin is a close second despite my arospec headcanons for her. Iris has a lot of chemistry with a lot of characters and while the number of romantic ships I enjoy for Caitlin is narrower, I'm more likely to contemplate different types of ships for her such as QPPs.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[vacantgodling]

re. wip master list

an ever updating list of all of my wips and ideas that i juggle in my brain at any given moment, laid out as simply as possible for y’all’s convenience. obviously PARAMOUR & TCOL are my main wips right now so you can check my main pinned for more information about those, however, these are for all my other wips that are backburner in some way.

this list will probably update often as i revamp old ideas or come up with new ones

these are also in no particular order

THE CHRONICLES OF LATHSBURY BOOK I: THE WRATH OF THE DEMON KING

summary: five adventurers from different backgrounds must face The Labyrinth as the deep magic that keeps the chaos within it at bay begins to rip apart at their seams

wip intro || character intros || crash course || s: tcol (main tag)

THE LIMINAL SPACE SERIES

summary: a series of 5 continuous books and 1 spinoff tale centered around this universe’s concept of liminal spaces. what they all have in common is they center on death, Reapers, Witches, magic, possession, and horror, but above all liminal spaces.

Liminal Spaces are defined as the place a person is in during a transitional period. this can be emotionally, physically, metaphysically or all of the above. in this series liminal spaces are more akin to separate planes of existence where death and horror reign supreme and magic is in the air. nothing is impossible and your worst nightmares usually come true.

wip intro || tags -> s: donut wip / s: noi alone / s: jenna the reaper / s: jenna the witch king / s: mason at the airport

GOD EATER

summary: the sun is stolen, drenching the upper in darkness and spelling certain doomsday for the world as its known it if it’s not returned. nevaeh is sent down to the treacherous under to find the god responsible for the sun’s disappearance and return it as soon as possible. to do that, they’ll need to find the last god eater. and they only have 13 weeks.

wip intro || character list || tag -> s: god eater

THE GRAVES WE DUG

summary: graves is a bounty hunter on the run after betraying his organization following the death of his partner, dove, in a mission gone horribly askew. however, one night in a seedy saloon far removed from their old stomping grounds of the city of rapture, dove shows up and demands that graves finish what they started before he “died.” emotional turmoil ensues.

wip intro || playlist || chapter one || tag -> s: the graves we dug

VAMPIRES DON’T TAKE ROAD TRIPS

summary: 20 year old darren de leon is content with just living his life as is, with his father dave, step-sister (kinda) olice, and not including his father’s girlfriend veronica as much as possible. that is, until someone he never thought he would meet shows up at their doorstep—his absentee mother, lizette rouzet blanc who… incidentally is a vampire. someone is out to hunt darren down and so they have to leave town to get to safety… leading to the most awkward and life changing road trip he’s ever been on.

wip intro || powerpoint intro (more accurate than the wip intro tbh) || how vampires work || tag -> s: darren and co

DEAD RITES

summary: nathali “n” blackburn is the top reporter at the small firm aurora press, and has had it up to here with the fear mongering surrounding the vampire group the marauders after the death of rising politician richard lindsey, which they have no proven involvement with. seeking the truth, n manages to arrange a meeting with a marauders chapter worker, a vampire named beau bellerose, and the rabbit hole his search leads them down may start a civil war.

wip intro || tag -> s: dead rites

LUKEWARM REJECTION

summary: aidan “di” absyna has it all—or so he thinks. he’s a guitarist in a punk band with his best friends, his boyfriend, the lead singer maverick loverde, is perfect, so what if he’s not out to his extremely controlling religious parents yet? things however come crashing down around him when the day before they’re supposed to go on stage at the biggest and probably most important event in their budding careers, maverick walks out on them, ending he and di’s relationship suddenly in the process. their leader nix, frantic to not let them crash in burn calls in a “best friend” that none of them have ever heard of—a mysterious, good looking, powerhouse vocalist toph. and toph well… toph’s a demon. literally.

wip intro || tag -> s: lukewarm rejection

ALIZATH

summary: kirsi sunniva and her aunt lady jeanna sunniva (posing as her governess) make their (hopefully) triumphant return to alizath’s social scene; to repair the tarnished reputation their family and of her father who still waits outside of the country for his banishment to be lifted. in order to do this, kirsi must make connections, and connections she makes. but even from the beginning something seemed slightly… off about why her family was banished—and who she even is. and if she happens to uncover those secrets… what will the state of alizath be once they come to light?

wip intro || the major courts & characters || tag -> s: alizath

PURPLE HAZE

summary: calvin im and jake deluna have been best friends since they were 5 years old. they’ve been with each other through thick and thin, all throughout high school… at least until two things happen on the eve of their high school graduation: jake tries and fails to commit suicide, and calvin’s long term girlfriend breaks up with him without warning shortly after that. both spiraling, but trying to put the pieces together two years removed from these events, they must slowly learn to heal, to love, and to remember what best friends are for in the first place.

wip intro || tag -> s: purple haze

THE VIRGIN OF MOUNT HEREDOSA

summary: nyoka is destined to die. a foreigner in this land that worships gods unfamiliar to them, nyoka was taken in by the council of elders when their parents passed away from a strange illness many years ago. this grace came with a caveat; that when their time came, they would be thrown into the mountain as a sacrifice to the gods. nyoka has no intention of dying for a cause they have no stake in—however when they’re suddenly bumped up the chopping block and are next in line to die, they need to think fast. the only way to get out of this? well, if they’re no longer a virgin. and perhaps, the mysterious spice merchant verin is the key to defying this fate.

s: wip intro || character intro || tag -> s: mount heredosa

NONDISCLOSURE (previously: NAD)

summary: nyseah nicoletti is an overworked nurse who suddenly has psychic powers awakened in her after a one night stand. alona springwell is a college student who works part time at the largest corporation in the city and during her first night shift sees a trail of blood leading from one of the rooms she’s forbidden to enter. donte macbride is a jaded PI who’s dragged into one last case by an offer he can’t refuse. 3 storylines, each seemingly unrelated, weave together to uncover a sinister underground of extortion, experimentation, and evil—even more than what’s already expected from the city.

wip intro || tag -> s: nad

GOTHICA (title pending)

summary: lennon rhapsody granger is sent to a private prep institute for troubled youth after she gets expelled from school for the fifth time. there, she meets and becomes romantically involved with bad boy heartthrob aurora o’rion, who is a lackey of a group called the centurion, who do not take kindly to outsiders being so close to their secrets. but lennon has always liked playing with fire… she just isn’t prepared for it to burn this badly.

wip intro || tag -> s: gofficka

NOBLE

summary: found adrift in space, noh bell is taken in by a cargo vessel and dropped off at the nearest planet. he doesn’t remember anything about himself, other than the rudimentary finger spelling for his name. yet, when he enters the tavern with the crew who saved his life, his name and face are plastered all over message boards, a billion dollar bounty on his head. he’ll need to find out what he did, and find out fast before he’s killed.

wip intro || tag -> s: noble

THE WHITE SHIRTS

summary: twins prosper and jane morning have been living life in a rural town in what used to be the united states, it’s backbone the fire department—tasked with stopping the endless raging fires that the dry heat blows in through the prairie. but everything changed when men in white button down shirts showed up, armed to the teeth, and raze their town, leaving them as the only survivors. but the thing is: there aren’t meant to be survivors. faced with annihilation without a cause, the twins begin to run with no destination in mind until they meet a fellow survivor of a white shirt massacre marin; who’s heard rumors of a ship on the east coast that can take them away from here to europe. the only problem is making it there alive.

wip intro || tag -> s: the white shirts

SUPERNATURAL DADS (title pending)

summary: hue rvynwell really doesn’t know what he’s doing with himself. as a recently divorced werewolf single-ish father of two overly powerful witch girls, he’s kind of got his work cut out for him. meddling family and friends can’t understand why he left his vampire husband of over 20 years, jihan, but so much of it boils down to that age old struggle of mortality. but he’ll have to face his demons, and his ex, when the government requires the two of them to cohabitate so that their eldest daughter can start at (essentially) witch U. and their daughters are more than ready to parent trap this situation.

wip intro || tag -> s: supernatural dads

LITTER SUPPORT

summary: kaspian or kas, has made a lot of mistakes in his life - and chief among them is unintentionally having so many litters! with so many children to look after, having custody of none of them, and trying to just get by, romance and doing things for himself are a huge afterthought. however, he knows that he should try to live a little more. its just... hard when you have your hands full. (this takes place in the same universe as supernatural dads)

wip intro || tag -> s: litter support

CELESTIAL WEDDINGS

summary: dagmar of dattenmaow (or the 8th sphere) is one of the eight hopefuls set to try their hand at becoming the new celestial ruler; after the previous one rava died only 50 years into their reign. after 27 years of rigorous training by the celestial lovers, the hopefuls begin the most important part of their journey; traveling to each realm to woo and marry a member of the royal family of each sphere. polyamory, love, weddings, and uncovering the truth behind rava’s demise await.

wip intro || pinterest board || tag -> s: celestial weddings

TRAIN MASTER CHIDORI

summary: chidori jonson just hit his 1 year anniversary of being a train master—and things are just starting to kick off!

notes: train master chidori is more of an art project/potential webcomic so not much writing mostly art will you see if this wip.

playlist || tag -> s: train master chidori

SIXTEEN CANDLES

summary: ranger, nanette, tucker, vani, and roger have been friends for 16 years, and with that much history in one group chat? shenanigans ensue.

notes: this is a chat-style wip, so any writing will be in the form of characters messaging each other. i love the emerging language that is internet linguistics, so there will be a lot of playing around with how words are showcased. remember: no typo is just a typo in this wip!

character list || tag -> s: sixteen candles

TEARDROPS OF THE GODS

summary: quill is half-merman; he’s known this since he was a boy, but the fear of capture by his pirate father has kept him from returning home to the sea. until, a string of town decimating pillages begin down the coast—quill knows his father is coming to look for him. and frankly, it’s high tide (heh) that quill get revenge for everything that man did to him.

wip intro || tag -> s: teardrops

RED DEATH AND THE ORACLE’S FAVOR

summary: red like blood, that’s what she named herself when her sister was stolen. red like death. she has been scouring the land for her missing sister and it has been endless years of empty leads and dead ends until she finally meets the man called oracle, hel lovendusky. he, who knows everything about everything and could know the whereabouts of her sister, and with the promise of protection and one unnamed favor, he agrees to traverse these war battered lands with her to find her.

wip intro || tag -> s: red and hel

PERI & DANDY

summary: when you die, your spirit is taken to the library—a world between worlds where you’re allowed to read your book of life, make peace with it, and pass on to whatever your idea of an afterlife is. librarians guard these sacred spaces; not man, nor woman, but angels or bookkeepers, who guide souls on. one spirit has always been the sacred rule. so what is she to do, when two souls show up at the exact same time; named vesper “peri” and andrew “dandy”. and this is not the first time they have died at the same time. in fact, this ongoing phenomena may break the very fabric and principles that she holds dear. what can you do, when a soul loves itself so much that it splits in two to never be apart?

wip intro || tag -> s: peri & dandy

DREAM TEAM

summary: yeah tbh no fancy summary here, 4 kids traverse to a fantasy world in their dreams where they’re the chosen ones meant to stop a great evil. they continue to visit dream world every time they fall asleep and they can see the changes irl but eventually when they all go to the same college they end up meeting in person for the first time. which is yknow. bad cuz that means the evil is about to strike but yknow. GOOD bc shenanigans.

notes: this wip will probably never be formally written it’s just funny to think about and i’m allowing myself to be a kid with it since i technically thought of this idea as a kid. bless.

wip intro || tag -> s: dream team

MARVIN & LINDA

summary: after finishing a recon mission with freelance special agent “linda”, “marvin” is ready to finish these file downloads and get onto his next mission. they receive sudden correspondence from his employers however, that they will need to wait (i have to decide how long) before they can be extracted and they are not to leave the hotel. this forces two extremely private and dangerous agents in one room to unfortunately tear each others walls down and bear each others souls before parting once again.

wip intro || ending || tag -> s: marvin and linda

ITRI & THE GIANTS

summary: i’m still working on the plot but this is a thumbelina adjacent reimagining. i’m thinking itri is a “dwarf but not how we think about them” and his nickname is thumbs because he’s great with his hands and always has the “thumbs” to fix things. i know the giants to them are essentially like past gods or something like that. So. gotta figure this out.

wip intro || tag -> s: thumbs and the giants

BROKEN CLOUDS

summary: utah and slug's mother has been missing since slug was born, and almost 20 years later, utah wants to find her. at the same time, their aunt, official but absentee caretaker, and their mother's elder sister, risky game, receives a letter in the post from someone claiming to be her long lost sister. this leads to the three of them, plus utah's hacker partner gator to head out on a fucked up roadtrip to find out what happened to their mom annnnd a bunch of other shit happens too.

wip intro || s: broken clouds

[krispyweiss]

(Good) Friday Flashback: Blind Boys of Alabama Appear on “TV Gospel Time” in 1964

The Blind Boys of Alabama had already been singing together in one form or another for a quarter-century when in 1964 they appeared on NBC’s short-lived “TV Gospel Time” program.

Though it died young, the show enjoys an afterlife on YouTube and it’s there where the former Happy Land Jubilee Singers - as BBA were originally known - still sing “Too Close to Heaven.”

Led by Clarence Fountain and including singer/guitarist George Scott and fellow vocalists Olice Thomas, Johnny Fields and the sighted Louis Dicks, the band conjures the spirit like only it can.

Perhaps the most miraculous thing is that this group of Blind Boys of Alabama sounds much like the contemporary Blind Boys of Alabama, despite the bands having nothing in common but their name and their mission of bringing the gospel. And as is the case when attending a modern Blind Boys performance, viewers are virtually guaranteed to feel better after watching this archival Blind Boys performance than they did when they cued it up.

PTL. And praise BBA.

Friday Flashback is an occasional series in which Sound Bites looks back at memorable musical moments on television

3/29/24

[madwomanwithawarehouse]

Unthinkable 10 Years Day 2: Season 2-3 hiatus fic rec

Between the Shadow and the Soul by @apinknightmare

A story about the "I love you" and everything that comes after.

Just reread this and love it so much. It absolutely captures that slow burn of the summer after that we were robbed of, with a good mix of angst and softness. Oliver is desperately trying to figure out how to be ready for Felicity in the way she deserves

Eight Ways to Say I Love You by RosieTwiggs

He loves her. If only he could get the words out.

Takes place (roughly) over season 2 and 2.5 with a fun bit of roommating

Collateral Damage by newbie93

Quick drabble regarding THE Olicity scene from Unthinkable.

Oof you want angsty Felicity POV? here you go

Irretrivable by SpicyPepper_SweetSugar

"Four things are irretrievable: An arrow in flight, a spoken word, a lost opportunity, a life already spent."

Wishful Thinking by DeeDeeCat

When Felicity has a really bad date, Oliver is there to wipe her tears... and wash the blood out of her hair.

Felicity tries to move on, gets concussed, gets taken care of, and nothing gets better.

Like a House in a Storm by CarrieAnn

Felicity asks Oliver to move in with her for a few weeks. Snapshots of their days as roommates.

I'm such a sucker for 2.5 roommate fics and this is so good

A Night Like Any Other by spyglass

Felicity doesn't think anything of it when Oliver asks her to dinner. After all, Team Arrow goes out for dinner from time to time. But starting the moment Oliver picks her up, she can sense there's something different about tonight. From the flowers to the restaurant, the entire evening is the most romantic non-date Felicity has had in months, but one thing she's sure of is this: it's most definitely not a date.

Or, she might have known that Oliver intended otherwise, if only he'd remembered to ask.

They're very dumb but they get there eventually

[aldbooks]

I think of all the established couples I’ve seen likened to Gwynriel, the one I think most fits the dynamic and path I think these two will take is Olicity from Green Arrow

When Oliver and Felicity first meet, he’s this mysterious, playboy playing at vigilante with a serious chip in his shoulder and a complex, who thinks he can do it all by himself. Then he comes to Felicity for her particular expertise on something and she’s this young, quirky, woman who sees through his bs when he tries to charm her but helps him anyway.

Once she realizes what he’s gotten himself into, she jumps into help him and is all for it (mostly) until he takes things a bit too far and she calls him on it. Ultimately he respects her for it and they grow into a genuine partnership and friendship where they push each other and support each other and truly care for one another, each of them growing in their own way because of the other.

They protect each other, they teach each other, comfort each other, and love each other unconditionally, and inevitably, realize that there’s something between them that can’t be denied anymore.

One of my favorite Olicity scenes is from their first official date. Felicity reflects on the first time they met and mentions how she had been chewing on a pen and Oliver smiles and says “it was red” ”…yes it was”. Just this adorable moment where Felicity (and the viewer) realizes that he’s always noticed her, even when she thought he didn’t.

Right from the beginning these two have chemistry even when it’s just platonic. They banter, they tease, they flirt, they’re playful. They’re also more than willing to duke it out when necessary.

When they finally get together (and even before then) they have the most amazing combination or tender and hot af moments. Like seriously he holds her like she’s the most precious thing in the world.

This is what I want to see from them. This organic, gradual buildup with push and pull and a clear connection that makes them both stronger.

[stardreamer28]

the last few days have been rougher & I need a distraction. so, bombard me with happy things!! like when Regina tells Robin about the tavern and he's calm but probably thinking "why tell me of another man?" but then surprised when she says it was him <3 love that scene. or early flirty Captain Swan! I also love any lovey dovey Snow/Charming moment. oh just to add, throwing in there other fandoms & ships like Arthur/Gwen from Merlin or Olicity!