#Oklahoma SB228

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Hemant Mehta at Friendly Atheist (01.06.2025):

A Christian Nationalist lawmaker from Oklahoma has filed a bill that would create a "covenant marriage” option for newlyweds. While the stated goal is to “strengthen the institution of marriage,” the actual consequences would be disastrous. State Sen. Dusty Deevers pre-filed the bill, SB 228, last week for the next legislative session. The “Covenant Marriage Act of Oklahoma” would allow new couples to sign a contract that reads as follows:

[We do solemnly declare that marriage is a lifelong covenant made before God. We have chosen each other carefully and disclosed to one another everything that could adversely affect the decision to enter into this marriage. We have received premarital counseling on the nature, purposes, and responsibilities of marriage. We have read the Covenant Marriage Act of Oklahoma, and we understand that a covenant marriage is for life. If we experience marital difficulties, we commit ourselves to take all reasonable efforts to preserve our marriage, including marital counseling. With full knowledge of what this commitment means, we do hereby declare that our marriage will be bound by the laws of the State of Oklahoma on covenant marriages, and we promise to love, honor, and care for one another as spouses for the rest of our lives.]

All of that sounds fine on the surface. That’s pretty much how all wedding vows work. Two people pledge themselves to each other and promise to work together to overcome any obstacles. (Easier said than done, but couples are allowed to believe this on their wedding day!) If you want a covenant marriage, all you have to do is go through premarital counseling and sign this contract. Currently married couples can also convert their existing marriage license to a “covenant” one by doing the same. So what’s the big deal? A covenant marriage makes it ridiculously hard to get divorced. According to this bill, the only way to end the marriage is if one spouse can prove “by a preponderance of the evidence” that s/he was the victim of: 1 Abandonment (for at least one year). 2 Abuse (physical or sexual). 3 Adultery.

That’s it. If you’re no longer in love with the other person, too damn bad. You’re stuck. If your partner has changed in significant ways that now go against your personal values—because they got red-pilled or changed religions, for example—oh well. If you’re sexually incompatible, then you’re just stuck having horrible sex (or no sex) for the rest of your life. And if your allegations of physical or sexual abuse simply aren’t believed by government officials—or you were prevented, by threat or otherwise, from telling anyone about it—there’s no way to leave your partner.

[...] A covenant marriage might sound nice in theory, but it’s a horrible idea in practice. It’s especially dangerous in conservative Christian circles where Purity Culture norms often pressure people to get married young, before they really know each other and sometimes before they really even know themselves. If you’re in a broken marriage, you shouldn’t have to wait for abuse or abandonment. You shouldn’t have to air your personal laundry in a courtroom in order to get out. The option should be available to anyone who needs it. But just as with abortion rights, conservative Christians don’t want other people to make choices they may disapprove of. By creating a contract that sounds like a more serious marriage, who knows how many couples were trapped in a union they wished to escape? Johnson said his covenant marriage works because his wife has “stayed with me this whole time.” The implication, however, is that she might have left had their marriage contract been a tad bit looser. That’s a marriage built on paperwork, not love.

Christian nationalist fanatic Oklahoma State Sen. Dusty Deevers (R) filed SB228, a bill that would create a “covenant marriage” option.

A covenant marriage would make divorce a lot harder.