#Okay it's time for the real gritty discussion point. The one everyone is waiting for me to talk about:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flower Empowered.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[maverick-werewolf]

Modern Dragon Designs - Where they came from

Your regularly scheduled werewolf facts will return soon. For now, we provide this special, because you may not realize this, but I love dragons. There’s a reason one of my protagonists is basically obsessed with dragons.

Once upon a time, there was a movie - I don’t see anyone talk about it, I’m not even sure how many people are familiar with it...

It’s called Reign of Fire.

This movie shaped the modern Hollywoodian concept of dragons. Seriously, it did. Hear me out.

Released in 2002, Reign of Fire was a movie about - essentially - dragons as that age-old trope of “let’s take one monster and turn them into an overpopulated zombie plague so we can use them to tell a story about humans and make the monster just this brainless evil locust swarm backdrop.” This has happened to a lot of monsters by now.

But wait, these dragons aren’t like the dragons you might be used to: these dragons were completely redesigned from the ground up by the filmmaker(s) in order to make a more “realistic” and “animalistic” dragon that was acceptable by Hollywood, who generally views “dragon movies” (like so many other fantasy things...) as cheesy and silly. Market your movie as a film about dragons and you probably won’t get a deal. Well, turns out, coming up with your own gritty dragon designs worked!

Doesn’t this remind you of every other dragon you’ve seen in a movie for the last, you know, 18 years? Although it actually looks quite a bit cooler than those other ones that came after it

Please note that while I may sound sarcastic, jaded, and often maybe a bit scathing, I mean nothing against the creators of Reign of Fire or director Rob Bowman. I watched the movie in theaters when it released. I applaud Bowman for coming up with unique and interesting dragon designs, in order to have a different take on the creatures, so that they fit the story he wanted to tell, instead of doing what so many people do and completely co-opting concepts without trying to alter them to fit anything and... yeah... okay, I’m not going to talk about werewolf things in this post. Getting back on track:

What I don’t applaud is everyone ripping off Reign of Fire for their own dragons, doubly so because most of these people didn’t even take into account the reasons why it was designed that way. They should have left his dragons alone and come up with their own thing, but at least I guess Bowman can go down in history as the man who designed every Hollywood dragon for over a decade to come - with no signs of stopping - even down to the tail shape.

On Vice, you can find an article and interview with Rob Bowman, the director of Reign of Fire, discussing how he came up with this dragon design and how influential it has become. I highly recommend giving it a read.

Please note the Vice article is clearly written with the bias of someone who “can’t take dragons seriously,” so it’s also a good look at the Hollywood mindset about dragons and how much Hollywood treats fantasy in general like garbage (jerks).

It’s impossible to pretend this movie didn’t basically reshape modern dragons. Let’s get to the details...

Animalistic Design

Dragons in popular culture are generally - or at least they were generally - assumed to be powerful, intelligent creatures, often of a higher nature than humans and other mere mortals. They may be good or evil, but one can’t understate that traditional fantasy dragons are regal and majestic either way.

Reign of Fire wanted to usurp the majestic, intelligent dragon image, creating a smaller, hunched, knuckle-dragging sort of dragon that looks more like an animal - like a pteranodon. This is because the dragons in Reign of Fire are not exceptionally intelligent, noble beings that speak and hoard gold and have the wisdom of the ages. They are brutal hunters that set things on fire and eat everything smaller than them. So this design choice was a conscious one and a smart one.

The dragons in Reign of Fire are meant to be more scientific, more plausible, and also simpler, in a manner of speaking. They are not colorful, magical, ancient fantasy dragons...

Trouble is, everyone took cues from this design for their talking wise noble fantasy dragons, and it... doesn’t really work, at least if you ask me.

The dragon design in Reign of Fire looks like an ancestral throwback, an evolutionary ancestor to the intelligent, talking fantasy dragon, although they are smaller. They’re hunched, they haven’t evolved forelegs independent of their wings... you get the idea. Take a look at the “proto-drakes” in World of Warcraft versus the ordinary drakes, which have tiny dangly T-rex forelegs that haven’t fully developed yet, so they walk like the Reign of Fire dragons.

A proto-drake in World of Warcraft - also say hi to my worgen warrior

So many things taking this design for their intelligent, “higher being” dragons seems kind of... odd to me, to say the least. Unfortunately, Hollywood decided that’s the only way moviegoers can “take dragons seriously,” so here we are.

“Wyvern” - Two Legs vs Four

Municipal arms of Stjørdal, Norway

In medieval heraldry, there came to be a creature called a wyvern. Now, the etymology on the term “wyvern” is a little shaky. It originally didn’t specifically refer to a “two-legged dragon.” It is thought to mean/be derived from words meaning anything ranging from “asp” to “light javelin,” and essentially boils down to a flying serpent. It is noteworthy, of course, that the word “dragon” basically just means “serpent” too.

In heraldry, though, “wyvern” came to refer to a two-legged dragon - at least, if you ask the English, Scottish, and Irish; elsewhere in Europe, they may not be so picky. And now, in modern pop culture (such as Dungeons and Dragons), we often use it in the same sense.

Wyverns weren’t really a “thing” in folklore, just as dragons in folklore didn’t look like our modern idea of a dragon. It’s debatable whether the father of our modern concept of dragons, Fafnir (from whom Tolkien drew inspiration for Smaug), even had wings at all; he was essentially a serpent, perhaps with legs. Point is, wyverns come from heraldry, especially the specificity of two legs versus four.

So now you know why you might see a lot of people (myself included) referring to this design as a “wyvern design” for a dragon.

Dull Coloration - Grey and Brown over Red, Blue, Green...

There’s something else - something very important - that Hollywood took from Reign of Fire... the concept that dragons aren’t pretty colors and are, in fact, various hues of grey and brown, and any more contrasting colors are just vague indications instead of bright red scales.

Now, Reign of Fire obviously did this because - again - they were going for the more animalistic, natural look as opposed to the mysterious majestic magical being look. Okay, that’s fine. But then Hollywood decided that fantasy, too, has to be devoid of dragons with bright colors.

The green dragon in Game of Thrones

There are countless examples of this in modern media. Any dragon that was previously brightly colored has been dulled pretty much to an extreme. Sometimes you might catch a fleeting glimpse of them looking like a brighter shade, but it was probably just a trick of the light. Why? Because all dragons are desaturated to the point of being almost indistinguishable by color.

The golden dragon in The Witcher Netflix series

This is also why you see so many mods on the Skyrim Nexus called things like “true red dragon.”

There are plenty more examples of this - I’m sure you can see the difference when you look at those dragons and other modern film dragons over, say, something like this...

Red dragon in D&D

And now we move on to...

The Fire Breathing - Chemicals, not Magic

Bowman insisted on ditching traditional fire breathing (you don't want the audience wondering whether the dragon's mouth is being burnt up with every flame) and again looked to the animal kingdom for inspiration. The king cobra, once again, was a great starting point. It doesn't spray fire, but it can spit its venom. Even more useful was the bombardier beetle, which shoots two chemicals from its abdomen that, once mixed, create a hot, burning spray. Bowman used these real-world examples to inspire his own dragons. They don't breathe fire exactly, but rather spit chemicals from two different sacks in their mouths that, when combined, ignite. "That's anatomy. That's already been designed, so we're going to draw from there," he said.

(quoted from the Vice article linked to earlier in this post)

The Hungarian Horntail in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - fire is streaming from two separate organs in the mouth, but they aren’t chemicals mixing together like in Reign of Fire...

The director of Reign of Fire wanted his dragons to be more natural in that they breathe fire through organic means, based on chemical reactions, instead of the usual dragon magic. But lots of people loved this “mouth flap”/”mouth organ” design with “streams” of fire coming from the mouth instead of fire flowing directly from the dragon’s throat, so now you see it pretty dang often.

Horns? Brow Ridges!

Another thing that is basically out now in dragon designs is the real horns of many traditional dragons, like Spyro, and like the dragons in Dungeons & Dragons used to have.

These days, it’s all about brow ridges and big spiny scales that aren’t separate horns, they’re just big pointed scales or piles of scales or bone ridges - and they aren’t a different color than the dragon’s scales, either, pretty often. And, in general, dragon’s horns have become much smaller and far more numerous, and more like spines/ridges, as opposed to the great, sweeping horns of classical dragons.

Firkraag, the red dragon, in the D&D video game Baldur’s Gate II, from 2000

Firkraag is a very traditional dragon. Now, while Dungeons & Dragons has generally kept more traditional dragons (yay!), they did fall into the brow ridge horn thing - although they, thankfully, didn’t make the horns smaller and subtler and more numerous little spikes, like so many other modern dragon designs. They also went with the brow ridge horns for tieflings (once humans with demon blood, then some weird thing in 4E, and now I think they’re humans with demon blood again), as opposed to the ordinary horns of the tieflings in previous editions of D&D.

Skyrim dragon head concept art

The Desolation of Smaug(’s design)

Here is... a big one. Here, we’ll talk some about the production of The Hobbit films over time, so we’re going behind the scenes.

Alright, so we all know Smaug, probably, by pop culture osmosis if nothing else. He is the quintessential dragon. He’s basically the founder of all Western dragon concepts: he’s big, he’s red, he hoards gold, he’s extremely intelligent and talks, etc. You get the picture. Every dragon that we have borrowed at least something from Smaug. And, in turn, he was inspired by Fafnir, the father of all our dragon concepts, from Norse mythology - but Tolkien took it all a step further and created the concept of dragons that we have today. Or, well, the not Reign of Fire ones. The fantasy ones.

A map drawn by Tolkien: notice the winged, four-legged Smaug over his mountain

During the first Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Journey, we see Smaug attack the Lonely Mountain...

In this clip, you can plainly see that Smaug has four legs. This was actually edited slightly for later editions of the movie, or so I’ve heard (I haven’t watched any later editions).

I can tell you for certain that when I saw the theatrical release, it was like this, too. It is apparent throughout the scene that Smaug has four legs and wings, separately. I know because I was paying very, very close attention, because I was going to be very upset if Hollywood turned Smaug into a wyvern.

Well, they did - later.

Smaug the wyvern looking like just another slightly different take on the bog-standard Hollywood dragon

Apparently, some studio exec decided that having a traditional fantasy dragon, even if this dragon happens to be frelling Smaug himself, would not be okay in this modern Hollywood world. So we ended up with a dull reddish spiney hunching knuckle-dragging wyvern with an angler mouth (I’m sorry; I really am sorry if you like the design, that’s totally fine, it’s a fine design, I am glad you enjoyed it, but Smaug shouldn’t have looked that way IMO and forgive me but I am still in pain over it) in place of a more traditional dragon that held more to things like, I dunno, how Tolkien himself drew Smaug. Smaug’s movie design flies right in the face of that and destroyed our chance to finally see a proper traditional dragon done justice on the big screen.

Tolkien’s art of Smaug - note the position of the forelegs, separate from the wings, like in the earlier map

This is all just one big example why we should be thankful that The Lord of the Rings films were all shot in one go, so no one could alter important things like the design of the fantasy genre’s father of all dragons, in the middle of production. Of course, the production on The Hobbit movies was a nightmare at best, as you can read about in assorted other articles, and Peter Jackson was very unhappy with what the studio had him do to the series. All of that is just another story, I suppose.

Dragons Redesigned by Reign of Fire: Example List

Now that we’ve gone over just a few of the talking points about Reign of Fire’s dragon designs (although I didn’t even get into the flat, spaded tail look in detail), here’s an undoubtedly incomplete list of several examples that have either entirely taken the design and/or were massively influenced by it...

(please note that not everything in this list held entirely to Reign of Fire’s design, obviously; some have the fire, some don’t; some have horns, some have head/brow ridges; but all of them are wyverns and most are darkly-colored)

Skyrim - Obvious influence with the general design, skin/scales and ridges design, as well as coloration; however, it is noteworthy that the Elder Scrolls has had dragons with no forelegs since at least 1998, in the game Redguard - though that dragon was also very brightly-colored (also of note: Peryite, while technically a Daedric prince and not a dragon, had four legs at least as far back as Daggerfall in 1996)

The Hobbit films, specifically The Desolation of Smaug onward - as mentioned before

Harry Potter movies - Wholesale. Two streams of fire from mouth flaps in Goblet of Fire, generally dull greyish and/or brownish colorations, no forelegs, short/simple horns that are mostly ridges...

Gods of Egypt - The giant fire-breathing cobras have the mouth flaps

Game of Thrones - This one’s pretty obvious too.

Disney’s Maleficent - In the new live action Disney movie(s), the dragon falls right into this design (though the fire doesn’t come from mouth flaps)

Netflix Witcher series - Villentretenmerth is very much a wyvern design and a dull shade, and he in fact has no horns at all, even though dragons weren’t portrayed this way in any previous Witcher adaptations

Stargate SG1 (season 10) - In the episode series “The Quest,” a dragon appears and... well, it looks just like all those other dragons, though the fire does come from its throat.

Beowulf (2008) - I try not to ever talk about or think about this film, but I have to just throw out there that the dragon is very much Reign of Fire, especially with that wyvern design.

Seventh Son - If you can call Malkin a dragon  - she was called one, I think - she definitely also has the same kind of dull-colored wyvern design.

Sucker Punch (movie)

Lots and lots of B-movies and direct to DVD/streaming films - Dawn of the Dragonslayer, Dragon (2006), Dragon Crusaders...

Something to note, also, is that cartoons, anime, and other non-film media is mostly - but not entirely - free from this influence. Cartoons especially are free from it, partially because they aren’t influenced by Hollywood producers who want “serious” and “realistic” dragons. Cartoons are allowed to have magical, colorful, four-legged dragons. Unfortunately, we are deprived of those in live action film and television, by and large.

There are still other exceptions - most notably things that were created before this influence, like Dragonheart and its spinoffs and sequels, which have thankfully kept their dragon designs consistent instead of erasing their forelegs.

Of course, why dragons are depicted as four-legged and winged in the first place - and when this depiction arose - is another topic entirely. I’m not going into that right now, seeing as how this post is already preposterously long.

Long story short, I was rewatching the movie Gods of Egypt and, when I saw the giant cobra monsters breathe fire, I was possessed to write this article. Because Reign of Fire’s influence is something I have always noticed ever since its release, and something my brother and I talk about a lot (and everyone who knows me has surely heard me talk about it, too) - because, frankly, it’s always bothered me. My favorite dragons are traditional dragons: four legs, bright colors, wings, horns, breathing fire, the works.

So, although the original creator of these design ideas did something cool and different because he wanted to do his own take on dragons, Hollywood decided that these design cues should be taken to dumb down all dragons forever, the same way that Hollywood has dumbed down so many monster designs so that the only acceptable ones just a bunch of near-replicas of each other, including werewolves.

I think it’s very sad that film producers think you can’t take something like dragons or werewolves seriously unless they are dull, nontraditional, and ugly. And I say ugly in the sense of these are not pretty, majestic fantasy designs - they are, many of them, intended to be ugly. Though I personally also hold the opinion that most of them are ugly regardless of if they are intended to be ugly.

So - now you know! If you haven’t seen Reign of Fire, go check it out to meet the father of modern dragon designs, from the color of their hides to the shape of their bodies, the smaller horns, and - sometimes - even their tails.

(Special thanks to everyone on my discord who helped me compile this list, as well as of course my brother and all our ranting at/with each other on this topic over many years)

If you like this post, maybe you’ll enjoy the rest of my blog, where I post a lot about folklore and all kinds of monsters (especially werewolves)!

Werewolf Facts --- Patreon

[elen-aranel]

Hii! Disco Sarek is making me feel things. I never thought I’d ask for this but could you maybe write a Sarek x reader?

Dear Anon, thank you for the request! I am so sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy. I have set this in the past relative to Discovery, when Sarek is just getting to know humanity. Thanks to @starfleetstgmgr for some really helpful ideas!

<3

Regard

Pairing: Sarek x Reader (no Y/N) Warnings: Moderately frank discussions of human relationships, Diplomacy, gratuitous detail of Paris WC: 4.3k Rating: Teen

You have always watched people.

When you were a child, you watched your classmates as they fought and made up, sometimes finding you had a better memory for who was friends with who than they did.

When you were at college, you watched people go by through the window of your favourite coffee shop. And you messaged your friends, as you sipped your latte in breaks between reading, if you spotted any of their tutors going by looking like they were in a bad mood.

These days, as a Federation Attaché, you watch people negotiate. Sometimes it’s just a formality – the nitty-gritty of signing a treaty. Ambassadors, professionals, everyone on the same page, little details to hammer out. But the more interesting times are when the stakes are higher: people negotiating to protect their way of life. People negotiating who are personally affected. People who care.

This is your first time on a negotiation with the new Vulcan ambassador, Sarek. You’ve worked with Vulcans before, and you generally appreciate their logical approach to a situation. Unlike some other Federation diplomats, they don’t try to make everything about them themselves. But still, Sarek is different, somehow, and you watch him, trying to put your finger on why.

You’re on a Federation colony planet, Omicron Aquila III, trying to negotiate between the two factions of humans that live there. The land is very fertile, and the original colonists grew crops for export. But 10 years in there was a disagreement, and now the humans live in two separate settlements. Everything was fine until last year when a volcano, thought to be extinct, erupted, damaging farmland and water supplies. The colonists from Hebden and Longridge don’t agree on much, but they did agree that they wanted a Vulcan to mediate their issues, because they knew a Vulcan would use logic and come up with a fair solution.

Sarek remains unruffled as Representative Jackson Walker gets increasingly angry about Hebden’s south well. His voice stays deep, slow, and calm as he re-iterates the logic of allowing Longridge to use it, and you realise that unlike the other Vulcans you’ve met, he doesn’t treat humans like they’re inferior because of their emotions, even if he doesn’t seem to understand them. Representative Laila Patel from Longridge sits there with arms crossed, a grim smile on her face. But you’ve been watching her, and you’re pretty sure that when you get to the issue of land borders, she’s going to kick up a fuss.

“I hear your objections, Representative Walker. I think we should take an hour’s recess to consider next steps.” Sarek says, and both humans stand and leave, without so much as a goodbye. You stand, too, gathering up your PADDS.

“Ambassador, may I have a word?”

“Yes of course, Attaché. Please join me.” He leads you through into a corridor, then to a door you haven’t been through yet. You make a point to give him space as he holds the door, letting you take it from him; Vulcans are touch-telepaths and contact is frowned upon. You follow him through into a garden. It’s beautiful, with pink and white roses in bloom, perfuming the air. You think it must have been one of the first things the colonists built because the plants are mature, and you’re touched that in establishing a new home they put beauty at the heart of it.

Sarek leads you toward the middle of the garden, so you can talk and be sure you’re not being overheard.

“What is it you wish to say, Attaché?” He regards you, curious, and you notice his eyes. Stormy, grey-blue – how had you not paid attention to them before? You shake yourself, mentally. Now is not the time.

“Your proposal is fair and logical. But I—I don’t think you will be successful with it. The colonists think they want a logical solution, but they cannot stop their emotions coming into play.”

Sarek raises an eyebrow at you. “What is your evidence for this assertion?”

“The way Representative Walker gets particularly aggressive when you bring up the south well. According to their database his grandfather, John Walker, dug it personally, and for some time at the beginning it was the colony’s only source of drinking water. Representative Walker probably remembers his grandfather telling stories about that time. His family derives status from that well. I think you’ll likely find something similar if you challenge Representative Patel on this land.” You get out your PADD with a map of the colony. “When Hebden split from Longridge, her family grew the first crops here.”

“Yes.” Sarek looks thoughtful. “This does explain the behaviour we have seen, and provide a hypothesis which we may test going forward.” He looks at you again, something in his expression you can’t quite read. “How do you suggest we proceed?”

*

The bronze plaque reading “John Walker Memorial Well” is being installed as you leave aboard the USS Jemison. Sarek isn’t with you, since he’s returning to Vulcan on his own ship, and you find yourself thinking about him as you review the agreement between the settlements and prepare for your next assignment. He hadn’t been what you had expected, and after your talk in the garden he had checked with you over several other points of negotiation. You had enjoyed watching him work, and you wish you were able to spend more time with him.

And – you couldn’t really let yourself think about it on the planet, but he was attractive. His eyes. His face. His voice. Very attractive. But a Vulcan isn’t going to be interested in a human, you tell yourself. And who knows when you’ll even see him again?

*

Again is months later. There’s a Federation summit on Earth and almost the entire Federation Diplomatic Corps has descended on Paris. You’re supporting the Zaranite delegation. You wouldn’t admit it to anyone but you feel a little creeped out by their masks; you understand they can’t breathe in an oxygen atmosphere but you don’t really see why they have to cover their eyes, too. The black slits are intimidating and narrow, and you think intimidation must be the point since their field of vision must be constrained. Regardless, you can’t watch them, not in the way you like. You can’t tell how they feel.

You tell yourself, however, that you are a professional, even if you don’t understand them. And even if they aren’t especially influential they still deserve competent support.

But the work isn’t terribly interesting: there’s nothing personal here, no real stakes, just checking language, ensuring the Zaranites have the correct paperwork – well, PADDs – to hand.

Socialising with your friends in the Corps is more fun. You’ve always loved Paris, from the first moment you looked down on it from the Eiffel Tower, and it’s good to catch up with Mark, Kelechi and Evan who joined the service at the same time as you, over good food and wine. But when, at the bottom of one-too-many bottles of Côtes du Rhône, Evan hits on you... you just aren’t interested. He seems a little juvenile, honestly. But you let him down gently.

On the third morning of the summit, though, you are summoned to see Consul Galea.

“So, I’ve had a request for your services,” she says, without preamble, as her aide waves you straight into her office. Her dark eyes are slightly incredulous, you think.

“From who?” At least the Zaranites don’t appear to have complained, which is what you’d been worrying about since receiving her message.

“Ambassador Sarek,” she says, raising her brows. “Apparently you made a good impression on that backwater colony. He finds his current assistant insufficient and would ’value your organisational skills and clear thinking.’”

“Wow, okay,” you say, feeling your skin warm a little. He had made an impression on you, but you had not thought you would have made one on him.

“Naturally I can’t say no to the Vulcan ambassador. You’ll be supporting him for the rest of the summit. I’ll assign someone else to the Zaranites.” She taps a control on her desk. “You’d better get going; Sarek will need you at 09:00. I’ll make sure all the paperwork is waiting for you.”

*

“Attaché,” Sarek says as you sit by him.

“Ambassador Sarek,” you say, nodding. You’ve had half an hour to get up to speed on his part of the negotiation, and you hadn’t let yourself think about... him. But there he is, with those blue-grey eyes, handsome face, deep voice. But no. This is emphatically not the time.

You don’t have the time, anyway. You would love to know which of your colleagues left Sarek’s paperwork in such a mess so you can have a word about it; just because he’s a Vulcan and logical doesn’t mean he can do both his job and yours at the same time. But you apply yourself and get everything sorted, and by midday you’re on top of it all, and able to properly support the ambassador. There may not be personal stakes to this but Sarek’s part of the negotiation is a lot more interesting.

“Thank you for your assistance today, Attaché,” he says as the session winds up. “I have found your presence to be...” he hesitates. “To be... most helpful.”

“You’re welcome, Ambassador.” You nod and smile, stowing your PADDs in their case. What had he been going to say? He doesn’t give you time to speculate, however.

“I was wondering if you could be of further assistance to me this evening. I have been... struggling... to find appealing sustenance. I am unused to using the synthesiser for an extended period of time, but I am having difficulty finding alternatives in Paris which are compatible with my dietary requirements.”

You nod, understanding. Traditional French food is not known for being vegetarian friendly.

“Of course, Ambassador. May I ask – are you happy to eat non-meat animal products, like eggs and dairy? If the animals’ welfare is assured?”

*

You take him to a little galetterie that you and Kelechi had happened upon a few years ago, during your second time in Paris together. It’s small, on a back street near the Bastille. The sort of place that locals go rather than tourists. It’s one of your favourites, and you try to go back every time you visit Paris. You enjoy the traditional Breton food, and the atmosphere – it’s friendly, quiet, and unpretentious. And you’re confident they will have plenty of vegetarian options for Sarek, as you sit opposite him at a dark wooden table covered in a crisp white tablecloth.

You both have the galettes – thin savoury pancakes freshly made with buckwheat flour – folded round cheese, eggs, mushrooms in cream and garlic sauce, and vegetables. You enjoy your food, alongside Breton cider served in a delicately painted bowl. You think Sarek relishes his, too, although he drinks the non-alcoholic fresh apple juice instead.

You find his conversation very interesting. He tells you of the planets he’s visited, and some details about Vulcan and its culture. You have to hold yourself back, a little; you don’t want to pry but you can’t resist asking a few questions about him personally. He tells you his father translated Surak’s teachings into English, and you make a mental note to get a copy.

He asks you about your life, too. Nothing overly personal, but he asks about the town you grew up in. What human schools are like. Details about Earth from a human perspective.

It’s later than you expected when you leave the restaurant.

“Thank you. For the meal and the enlightening discourse,” Sarek says as you prepare to part ways.

“Thank you, ambassador. I enjoyed this evening.”

He looks at you, then, something appraising about his glance. You can’t tell what conclusion he has come to, though. He nods. “I will see you tomorrow.”

As a mere attaché your accommodation is out towards the suburbs, and you have time to think on the metro-shuttle back. You had enjoyed yourself, a lot. If you were being honest with yourself, you had a better time than you had with your friends. If Sarek were to hit on you...

But he’s a Vulcan. You know nothing about their relationships, and the first lesson you learn about Vulcans is that those are questions you do not ask. You sigh, staring out the window at Paris rushing by. It’s not like you’ll see him again after this week, anyway. He’ll probably go back to Vulcan, and Consul Galea will have your next assignment ready.

*

First thing the next morning you send a message to Marin, Consul Galea’s aide, and just after your lunch break he delivers. You hope Sarek doesn’t notice you quickly checking your personal PADD, but he’s busy in conversation with a member of the Tellarite delegation.

“Ambassador,” you say, as you pack away your work. “Have you made plans for dinner this evening?”

“I have not,” he replies, grey-blue eyes looking at you with interest.

“I took the liberty of doing a little research, and I have a personal recommendation for a vegetarian restaurant from an aide who works in Paris full time. Would you like to try it with me?”

“I would. That was very... thoughtful, Attaché.”

*

The restaurant, near the Place Charles de Gaulle, specialises in North African food, and you enjoy flatbreads with hummus and baba ganoush, tabbouleh, and a vegetarian tagine with harissa and apricots. But better than the food is Sarek’s company, once again.

You wish, as you stand at the end of the Champs-Élysées and look through the Arc de Triomphe at the angular Grande Arche de la Defence almost glowing in the distance, that the summit was going to last longer. But the signing ceremony is tomorrow, followed by the official dinner, which as an attaché you are too junior to attend.

*

The following day you work as normal, highlighting last minute changes to the treaty’s wording for Sarek to review and uploading his edits as he debates with the Andorian representative. But somehow you get the impression that there is something on the Ambassador’s mind. You think he’s watching you when he thinks you aren’t paying attention, and you’re not sure what to make of it.

You put it out of mind instead, and as the work winds down as preparations begin for the signing ceremony, you think about what you might do this evening. Perhaps go up Montmatre and look down on the city by night.

“That’s the last of them,” you say, as you had a PADD over for Sarek’s signature. The signing ceremony will be old fashioned with pens and paper, mainly for the media, but the actual agreements are signed off digitally.

“Once again I thank you for your support, Attaché. I believe we work efficiently together.” He pauses for a moment, giving you one last appraising look. “I am leading a seminar on human relationships on Vulcan next week, and I would like to ask for your assistance.” You blink at him, surprised, but he continues. “It seems logical to have a human present, and from our time working together I believe you would be a good choice to educate other Vulcans. I have sought permission from Consul Galea. She is willing for you to go, but wanted me to ask you since it is not strictly within the remit of your job.”

“Uh, yes. Having a human there would be logical.” You nod, trying not to sound too eager. “I will... assist.”

*

The seminar room in the Shirkar Academy is large and airy. There are floor to ceiling windows down one side, looking out over the city of Shi’Kahr, and there are two rows of pale wooden desks curved into a semicircle around a large screen. You can just see the desert in the distance.

Every desk is occupied, and as you watch the assembled Vulcans, you are nervous.

You have done your fair share of talks – to colleagues, and sometimes in negotiations. You could do the one on the Advantages of Federation Membership in your sleep (and according to Kelechi, who had been sharing a room with you the night before the first time you’d had to give it, you actually had). But this is different. You resist the temptation smooth your clothes; you may be nervous but you don’t need everyone to see it.

You had to admit that Sarek has done a good job with the presentation section. He goes through a through a brief history of types of relationships on Earth, including times and societies where women had been treated like property, and relationships and marriages were often treated as a property transaction. He also covers some things even you are not too familiar with, like societies that practice polygyny and polyandry. The audience seems engaged, taking notes.

He spends a little longer than you expect on arranged marriage before handing over to you.

You take a deep breath, reminding yourself that the Vulcans are aliens who probably don’t have many preconceived notions on the subject so there’s no need to feel awkward, and begin.

“Thank you Ambassador. I’m going to speak to you today on the types of relationship you’re most likely to encounter in the humans you meet, and then open up for questions and discussion.

“These days humans will most often enter into a romantic relationship with one other human at a time. These may be casual, as in the case where the two partners are getting to know one another, or sometimes because they have other things going on in their lives like work or travel which preclude the formation of a more serious relationship. It could also be because they enjoy sex with each other and don’t want anything more...”

You go on to discuss love and long term relationships, marriage, negotiating things like exclusivity and cheating, and a brief discussion of the two parent family as a common basis for child-rearing.

“Finally, it is important to note: not all humans are in or even desire to be in a relationship. Some humans are uninterested in the concept of romance or sex altogether. Others wish to pursue careers or other time-consuming activities and do not feel they could give a relationship proper attention. And some humans would be open to the idea of a relationship, but haven’t found someone they would like to enter into one with.”

You look round the room. You can’t really gauge how things are going; they seem attentive, at least.

“Does anyone have any questions?” You nod at a older Vulcan on the back row who has raised his hand.

“Are there specific ceremonies for humans wishing to undergo marriage?”

You relax. A safe question to start. “At its most basic form marriage is a legal contract, so can be performed by someone with legal standing to do so, the couple wishing to marry and a witness. It can be as simple as signing a document. However, there are a lot of traditions surrounding marriage. A more common ceremony would involve the exchanging of vows, and often rings to be worn as a visible sign that a human is married.”

You go on to cover traditional ceremonies, elopement, wedding clothes...

“Does that answer your question?”

“Yes. I note that you do not wear a ring. Are you married?”

“No, I am not.”

He nods, and you gesture to a younger female on the front row.

“I have read about virgins and virginity in human literature, but I do not understand the concept. Can you explain it please?”

Oh gosh. “The most basic definition of a virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. In the past in some societies a woman primarily but sometimes a man too would be expected to be a virgin when they entered into a marriage. This isn’t the case anymore but losing one’s virginity, having sex for the first time, can be... uh... important, to some people. And there may be a perceived stigma around humans who are older than say... mid twenties, who have yet to have sex.”

“Thank you. You said you were unmarried; do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Are you a virgin?”

You blink, resisting the temptation to look at Sarek for support. You should have expected this, you think, feeling a little weak.

“There are some questions that it is... inappropriate... to ask humans. Asking whether a human is a virgin is always inappropriate, even for another human, unless you know each other incredibly well. So I will not be answering that, and I would recommend that you don’t ask another human. But no, I do not have a—a partner, at the moment.”

Safer questions follow, on things like how long it’s appropriate to be in a relationship before marriage, and divorce and how that’s accomplished. Questions about how partners are chosen, and  even one about love at first sight. Then—

“How would you know if someone is interested in pursuing a relationship with you?”

“You—uh... it’s difficult. Someone might hit on you,” you say, wincing mentally, thinking of Evan. “That is, they may say something to express an interest. But a lot of the signs are physiological, and difficult for us to recognise consciously. Like... someone’s pupils may dilate when they talk to you. Or they may lean in toward you, mirror your actions. They may ask you questions, try to get to know you. Find opportunities to spend more time with you. But it can be difficult.” You shrug. “Sometimes it takes a friend to tell you they think someone is interested in you. But if you want a relationship, and think they may too... sometimes you just have to ask.”

*

You are relieved when the seminar is over, and gratified when the organiser at the academy makes a point to thank you, both for the presentation and your willingness to answer questions candidly.

Afterward you think Sarek will take you to the Federation Embassy, but instead he steers his desert flyer out of the city. Part of you wants to ask where you’re going, but you trust him, so you enjoy the ride as the city gives way farmland, and forest. You skirt the edge of forest and desert for a while, then Sarek turns the flyer through the trees and stops in an open area.

Your eyes widen as you exit the speeder; you have always heard of Vulcan as a desert planet, but in front of you is a large body of water, waves gently lapping on a sandy shore. You turn to Sarek.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, and you think you see satisfaction in his expression.

“This is Lake Yuron. This part of the shore is quiet and I frequently come here when I wish to meditate. I... appreciate the calm.”

He walks toward the water and you follow. You stand together, watching the waves as they go in and out. The water looks different, somehow, to lakes on Earth, as it reflects the more orange tint of the Vulcan sky.

After a while, Sarek speaks. “Today during the the seminar, you described some of the ways one can tell if a human is interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. I have observed you over the past few days, and I believe you have displayed many of these signs.” He turns to you, stormy eyes reflecting the lake water.

“Are you interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me?”

You look down at the sand, and swallow, your mouth suddenly dry. But you have to be honest with him. “I am. I find you fascinating. I enjoy your company. And you... are very attractive.” But there’s just no way he can reciprocate, you think. “I’m sorry if I have made you uncomfortable. That was never my intention.” You look back up, hoping he can see the apology in your eyes.

“Although I am an adherent of logic, of Surak’s teachings, it would be... inaccurate to say that I do not experience emotion. I control and suppress the emotions that I feel, and generally that is... satisfying, to me.” He takes a step toward you, closing the gap between you both. He’s close enough to touch.

“I find you... compelling. I lack the proper language to express emotions, but… perhaps I can show you?”

You nod, mutely. You know about mind melds, even though you’ve never seen one performed, much less participated. Your eyes track his hand as he reaches up to touch your face.

“My mind to your mind. My thoughts... to your thoughts.”

The touch of his mind is like nothing you’ve ever felt before, and you gasp slightly at the extra dimension that opens up for you, in a direction you couldn’t even have imagined. But you feel safe; you can feel that he is keeping you from being overwhelmed. And then you for a few moments you see yourself as he sees you. Feel an echo of what he feels, even as you share what you feel for him.

As he breaks the connection the only thing you can do is bring a hand up to his face, and kiss him. It’s gentle, almost hesitating at first, but it feels so right as you press together, as the kiss deepens.

You have always watched people; you have never really thought about people watching you. You know they will, though, as you ride back to Shi’kahr: the human partner of the Vulcan ambassador. You won’t be putting on a show, but you find, as you think it over, Sarek at your side, that you don’t mind.

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Forty-Three

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: TW: Mention of past abuse!!! (It’s really graphic) Fluff and Smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

Harry wanted to make more of an effort to have time with you in the morning. He missed you so much all day, and wanted to enjoy the few minutes with you before you had to leave for work, so Monday morning he got up to have breakfast with you. He made you both oatmeal.

“This so nice.” You say sitting next to him at your island. “Thank you sweetie.”

“Course.” He smiles sleepily at you.

“Harry…I was wondering if you had to work late tomorrow night?”

“Shouldn’t have to, love. Why?”

“Well, and feel free to say no, but I was sort of wondering if you’d want to see Dr. Mara with me tomorrow.” His eyes softens and he puts a hand over yours.

“Did I…do something wrong?”

“No! Oh my god, no not at all.” You smile reassuringly at him. “I have sort of come to realize I have a real communication problem. You’re not a mind reader, and I feel really bad about when I sort of snap at you when you ask me certain questions…like I expect you to just understand something. It’s not really fair of me. She actually suggested I bring you with me after what happened last week, and I’ve had some time to think it over, and I think it would really help. She knows everything about me so…maybe she can help me explain some things to you. She can also be a mediator if I start to get a little snippy.”

He knew this was a huge deal for you. Harry had been to therapy before, he knew it was an incredibly vulnerable thing to do.

“I’m there.”

“Really?”

“Of course! I’m…honored you’re asking.”

“I really am sorry for all the times I’ve just sort flown off the handle. My undergrad degree is in communication for fuck’s sake, I should really know better.” So that’s why she was so good at reading others and assessing situations, he thinks to himself.

“I thought your degree was in like film studies?”

“No, no. That was my minor. My major was Communication and Media studies.”

“Ohhh, that makes a lot more sense.” He laughs.

“I should really practice what I preach. I can always tell when other people don’t communicate well. Or honestly, I’m great with like workplace, interpersonal communication. But I guess in my relationships I struggle a little.”

“I don’t love when you blow up at me, but I understand it. I can’t imagine how scary it must feel to be triggered by something, and have all of that adrenaline running through you.”

“Don’t make excuses for me, please, it’s okay. I’ve been wrong a lot of the time, I can admit to that.” You finish up your oatmeal. “Mm, this was so good.” You look at your watch. “Shit, it’s my day to pick up coffee, I need to get going.” You give him a quick kiss. “Have a great day.”

“You too babe. You goin’ t’the gym tonight?”

“Yup, should be home around six.”

“Great.”

//

You get Niall his coffee, and discuss theories about You and set up certain days to watch it during your lunch breaks. Everything felt back to normal with him which you were thankful for. The last thing you needed was for your work environment to be stressful. Your classes were all signed up for, and you’d be starting your first one in just a couple of weeks.

A companywide email went out about your annual holiday party. You were always thankful your CEO had the party at the end of January to give everyone time to recover from the holidays themselves. It was at this swanky hotel, and there was a huge ballroom for dancing. The food was always exceptional too, not to mention an open bar.

You come home sweaty from the gym, excited to tell Harry about the upcoming party.

“Hey babe!” You say.

“Hey! Just got through the door myself, haven’t had a chance to make up dinner.”

“No worries, I can cook.” You shrug. “Mark your calendar for the second to last weekend in January, the company party has been announced!”

“Oh great! What hotel is it gonna be at?”

“The Boston Harbor Hotel, it’s so beautiful!” You open the fridge and pull out some cauliflower. “M’gonna make some buffalo cauliflower, that work for you?”

“Sounds amazing.”

“Hmm, I’m gonnna have to go to Macy’s this weekend to get a dress.”

“Right, cause you don’t have enough in your closet.” He says playfully. You point your knife at him.

“You realize if I go shopping you get to watch me try on a bunch of different things right?”

“Ohh, okay, new dress it is.” He kisses your cheek as you prepare the rest of dinner.

“Your birthday is the weekend after that right?”

“Mhm.”

“I was thinking, if you wanted, we could go to a nice dinner.” He smiles at you.

“Just the two of us?”

“If that’s what you’d like.”

“I’d love nothin’ more.”

You toss the cauliflower into a bowl of your homemade buffalo sauce and toss it around. You pop them into the oven, and wait for them to crisp up a bit. You go to change out of your sweats and wrap your robe around your body. Harry’s sat as his desk. You go over to him and wrap your arms around him. He leans his head back to look at you.

“You know what this weekend is?”

“Hmmm.” He gives you a funny look. “What’s that love?”

“Five whole months together.” He tilts his head to kiss you.

“How lucky are we, hm?”

“So lucky.”

//

Harry meets you at Dr. Mara’s office after work. You were incredibly nervous, but happy he agreed to come with you. You had so much to get off your chest. He gives you a kiss when he meets you in the lobby, and holds your hand as you wait to be called in.

“Y/N?” Dr. Mara says, her smile deepens when she sees Harry with you. “Come on in. Is your friend joining us today?”

“Yes, Dr. Mara, this is my boyfriend Harry.”

“It’s so nice to meet you dear, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.” She shakes Harry’s hand.

“Same to you.”

You and Harry sit on the couch in her office.

“Harry, I’d like you just to observe for a bit. Y/N and I usually talk about our week, and anything positive that may have happened.”

“Sure.” You don’t let go of his hand.

“So, Y/N, how was your week, since I saw you last. You seem much calmer.”

“I am! Niall and I worked everything out. We’ve set up some new boundaries.”

“That’s very good.”

“Our CEO announced our annual holiday party.”

“Oh, you love that party.”

“I do! It’s so much fun. Harry’s coming with me this year.”

“That’s great. You must be excited to introduce him to so many people.”

“I am.” You look over at him. He smiles at you.

“Would you like to tell me why you’ve brought Harry with you today?”

Harry liked Dr. Mara. She reminded him of his mum. Her demeanor was calm, and her voice was quite soothing.

“Well, after what happened last week, I had a revelation that my boyfriend is not a mind reader.” You laugh. “I can’t expect him to understand why something may be upsetting me if I don’t fully explain everything first.”

“I see. And what would you like to explain to him today?”

“Why I don’t feel comfortable doing it from behind just yet.”

Harry chokes on the air in the room. You and Dr. Mara were both so calm about the subject. He didn’t realize you talked about the nitty gritty in here.

“Harry, are you uncomfortable with this conversation?” Dr. Mara asks. “It’s alright if you are, we can work our way up to this subject matter.”

“No, no, I just, um, didn’t realize we were going to be so…blunt.”

“I tell Dr. Mara everything, she knows a lot about…us.”

“This is a safe space Harry.” She says, giving him a reassuring smile. “Absolutely no judgement. These types of situations are sort of my specialty.”

“Alright.” He smiles back weakly. He looks over at you, and you squeeze his hand. Your heart was beating fast.

“Y/N, would you like to start?”

“Sure. So…I feel really bad for our fight last week. You really did ask me a simple question, and it triggered me. But I know I handled it immaturely. And then I just got more mad when you spoke with Niall about it.”

“Why does it bother you when Harry and Niall discuss these things?”

“Because even though they’re also best friends, and should be able to talk about their girlfriends, I just feel like if I don’t want to talk about something or if I’m not ready for Harry to know something, it shouldn’t be up to Niall to just tell him anyways. I feel like you two run off to each other sometimes, and it bothers me.” You say looking at him.

“I’m sorry…I can work on that.” You nod.

“Anyways, it was the third time you had brought it up, us doing it like that. And you sort of brought it up out of nowhere.”

“It had been on my mind.”

“Why?” He looks at you and then Dr. Mara, then back to you.

“Because…it feels good, and it’s a position I’d like to really do. And you hadn’t really given me a reason other than just shaking your head or saying no. I just wanted a little explanation. I know in the past I’ve told you that you didn’t need to explain things, but I was just very confused because we’ve done other things.” You nod.

“I see how that would have been confusing, and I should have just come right out and explained myself.” You take a deep breath. “Um…I’m going to tell you something…I’ve told you a little bit about what happened that night, but not the full story. If you’re okay with hearing it, I’d like to tell you.”

“I’m all ears.” You shift and let go of his hand. You twiddle your thumbs and look down to your lap.

“You both are doing great.” Dr. Mara says.

“So that night, Jake and I had only sort of made out up until that point. I didn’t want to have sex with him yet, but there were other things I wanted to do with him, that I would have been happy to do.” You close your eyes. “I can’t quite remember how it all escalated so quickly. I know he didn’t slip me anything.” You open your eyes back up, but keep them glued on your hands. “We had moved to the bed so we could kiss more comfortably. I was on top of him at first, and then he got on top of me, and pushed my dress up. Then he moved my underwear to the side and started touching me.” Harry’s jaw tenses, but his eyes remain soft. “I was fine with it, he was being gentle.” You look up at Dr. Mara, then back to your hands. You feel a tear go down your cheek. Harry grabs a tissue and hands it to you. “Like I said, I can’t remember how it escalated so quickly, but the next thing I knew, my face was being pushed in the mattress and he was just drilling it inside me. It hurt, a lot. He didn’t make sure I was wet enough for how hard he was going.” You shift, feeling uncomfortable from the memory. “He was pretty thick, so I knew I was tearing. Because he was being so forceful, I was too scared to fight back or tell him to get off me. I didn’t know what else he might do to hurt me. So I just let him do it.” Your voice cracks. “When he was done, it felt like a razer was being pulled out of me. I don’t know how he didn’t see the blood on his penis, there had to be a ton, there was enough between my legs and on the sheets.” Harry swallows hard, grabbing a tissue for himself to dab his eyes with. “When I think of doing it from that angle again, I just…” You take a deep breath. “I’m just automatically reminded of all of it.”

“The night we, um, you know when you let me?” His voice was hoarse, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“That was different, for whatever reason. You had taken your time with me, and I felt safe. I wanna work up to doing it, I really do. I’m just…I can’t not think about it.”

“I’m so sorry…” He puts a hand on your shoulder. “I can’t imagine doing something like that to someone. I truly will never understand how people can be so cruel.” He looks at Dr. Mara. “There’s a question I’d like to ask, since we’re in a safe space. Somethin’ that’s been on my mind since you first told me everything.” He looks back at you.

“What babe?”

“Why…why didn’t you ever press charges?” Your eyes grow wide and your mouth drops open. “I’m not trying to shame you or anythin’, I just don’t understand.”

“I almost did, but I just wanted it all to go away.”

“Didn’t you ever think that he might do it to someone else?” Your body was starting to shake, and you felt your breathing start to move rapidly.

“I…I feel…” You couldn’t breathe.

“Shit. What should I do?” He looks at Dr. Mara.

“Y/N, get up and walk around, I’ll get you a paper bag.”

You get up and pace around the room quickly trying to calm your fight or flight. Dr. Mara hands you a paper bag to breathe in and out of. She rubs your back lightly.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No.” You say returning your breathing to a more normal pace. “No, it’s okay, it’s a valid question.” You sit back down. “I don’t have a good answer. I still have everything, the sheets, the outfit…it’s hidden in my storage unit. I think I just wanted to pretend like nothing happened, or that it wasn’t as serious. I didn’t really want to seek vengeance, but I see what you’re saying about him potentially hurting someone else. I was selfishly only thinking of myself.”

“You’re not selfish Y/N.” Dr. Mara interjects. “Everyone deals with these things differently, and it’s up to you at the end of the day.”

“Wouldn’t you encourage her to press charges though?”

“It’s not my job to tell her what to do. Forcing a victim to go through that trauma over and over again is a lot to ask.” Harry nods.

“Someday I might, but right now it’s just not something I want to do. I know it doesn’t make sense, Harry.”

“It doesn’t have to, it didn’t happen to me.” He clears his throat. “Not that everything needs to be about sex, but Dr. Mara, how would you suggest we proceed with all of this?”

“Well, that’s up to the two of you. Keep having this open communication with each other. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Y/N, we’ve talked about you trying small things when you feel comfortable doing so. The two of you could try getting into the position, but with no penetration. Little things like that.”

You look at Harry, and back to Dr. Mara.

“I have another suggestion, Harry I don’t think you need to come here every week with Y/N, just so she can still feel like she can talk about anything with me, but why don’t you come once a month or even every other month so we can have small check ins like this?”

“Yeah, I could do that. Is that something you’d want?” He asks you.

“Yes, definitely. This was really helpful.” You smile at the both of them.

//

When you get home later, Harry doesn’t let you out of his touch. Whether it was his hand needing to hold yours, or his arm being around you, he wasn’t to let go of you. Neither of you said much, nothing really needed to be said. He was still trying to process everything, you finally told him about that awful night. You both had gotten cozy into some pj’s, and he made some soup for dinner. You ate on the couch while the two of you watched TV. He kept a hand on your knee the entire time.

“Harry?”

“Yes, love?”

“Would you read to me for a while?”

“Like on the sofa?”

“Yeah, I could lay on your chest and get cozy. I wanna know what happens next and I don’t wanna be too tired for it.”

“Alright.” He smiles and gets up to retrieve his book and glasses from the bedroom.

Harry lays on the couch, resting against the armrest. You snuggle up to him, and pull the blanket from the back of the sofa over the both of you. He picks up where he left off, and reads the story to you. You close your eyes to imagine Eric and Jane. Two best friends. You’ve gotten to the part in the story where Eric realizes he has feelings for Jane, but he has no idea how she feels about him. He talks about wanting to be around her all the time, and anytime she’s near, his heart flutters.

“Harry?” You interrupt him.

“Hm?”

“How long have you been reading books like this for?” He shifts his glasses to the top of his head.

“God, for a long time. I never realized how much I liked them until uni though. I took this young adult literature class for an elective, and I loved like every book we read. The professor let us pick out a lot of our own to read as well, and I sort fell into this genre. I think I like them because you can just get so lost in these stories. They can get a bit steamy sometimes, but that’s not why I read ‘em. I could read about two people fallin’ in love over and over, and never get bored.”

“You’re so romantic.” You kiss his cheek. “It’s sweet.” His kisses the top of your head. “Please, continue.”

He chuckles and continues reading. The characters begin to have a fight over Jane’s son. Harry gets choked up when she tells Eric she needs to move because she can’t afford her apartment anymore. She tells him she’ll need to move in with her mother, who lives hours away. Eric offers to have them move in him, but she says no, and the fight just gets worse. Harry full on starts crying, and has to take his glasses off to rub his eyes.

“Are you alright? You’ve read this before baby.”

“I know.” He says through his tears. “This part just makes me so mad because if he just fuckin’ told her how he felt she’d stay because she loves him too.” He dog ear’s the page and takes a deep breath. “I need t’take a break, they’re both just so fuckin’ stupid. And her poor son, he looks at Eric like a father and like to rip the two of them apart? It’s fucked.”

The way Harry was getting worked up reminded you of how you cried over Max and Liz at the end of the first season of Roswell: New Mexico. You loved how sensitive he was, and how invested he was with his book. You take the book and his glasses from him, and rest them on the coffee table. You kiss him tenderly and wipe his tears away.

“I can’t wait to hear what happens next. I have a feeling they’ll work it out.”

“Yeah, but at what cost?” You burst out laughing, and so does he.

“Did I tell you earlier how much I appreciate you coming to therapy tonight?”

“I was happy to go.”

“I love you so much, Harry.” You snuggle into him.

“I love you too, baby. You’re so strong and brave, I hope you know that.”

“I want you to know that I’m open to trying some different things. Not tonight, obviously, but I’m going to be less closed off when you suggest things.”

He holds her tight to him. He was impressed with her attitude change.

//

Harry tended to keep a cool exterior at work. He liked keeping his personal life private. He worked with mostly women and only one other guy. He wasn’t close with any of them, friendly enough though. He knew a couple of the interns had crushes on him. Sometimes he wished the magazine didn’t hire on so many college students. He didn’t pay them much attention, but he could always tell when they were watching him work.

He had a small office with a desk and decent size monitor so he could edit whatever pictures he needed to on the spot. He had a few photos in there, one of his mum and sister, and one of you. Actually two. He had one from your weekend away in New Hampshire, and one from England. He snapped a cute picture of you in your pj’s on Christmas morning. You’d probably kill him if you knew that was the picture he had of you on his desk. When he needed a smile or a good chuckle, he’d look over at it. Sometimes he’d find himself scrolling through Facebook or his camera roll to look at pictures of you. He hated how much he missed you during the day, but he couldn’t help it.

He was working at his desk, he looked over at one of the pictures of you and smiled. He really did think you were cute. There’s a knock on the outside of his door, pulling him from his distraction. He looks up to see one of the interns.

“Yeah?”

“Um, hi Mr. Styles-“

“You can call me Harry, I’ve told you, it’s not that formal of a place.”

“Right…sorry, um, Harry.”

“So, what’s up?”

“Oh, right…um, I was told to give these flash drives to you. These photos need touching up.” She continues to stand in the doorway.

“Okay, can you come hand them to me please?” She blushes and walks further into the office. He holds his hand out and she drops them into his palm. “Thanks.” He says without looking at her. She notices the photos of all the women on his desk.

“Are all those women related to you?”

“Hm?” She points to the pictures. “Oh, no.” He smirks. “Well, that’s my mum and sister, and then that’s my girlfriend.” He looks at the picture and smiles, then back to the intern. “I love her very much.”

“Oh…well…that’s nice.” She stands there awkwardly.

“Did you need anythin’ else?” He asks, putting his earbuds back in.

“Nope.” She walks out and goes to the other intern, defeated. “He has a girlfriend.”

“So, not like he’s married.”

“He looked at me and said he loved her very much.” She groans. “Who was I kidding, that’s the most he’s ever talked to me.” She looks back at him. “He’s so fucking hot, of course he has a girlfriend.”

“Did you see a picture of her?”

“Yeah, he has two on his desk.” She rolls her eyes.

“Was she pretty?”

“I didn’t get a good look.”

//

You got a call around 10:30 in the morning from the realtor. He let you know that you got approved for the apartment. You squealed and yelled and freaked out in your office. You didn’t want to just call Harry to tell him. The realtor gave you all the details you needed to move forward and you told him you’d call him back in a little while. You decided to do something you never did before: surprise Harry at his office.

You looked really good today. You had blown out your hair and added some curls on the ends. You were wearing a green short sleeve shirt and a black pencil skirt that came a few inches above the knee. You had black tights and heels on. You were wearing a white blazer as well. You grabbed your long jacket, and decided to take an early lunch to go surprise him with the good news. You grabbed your red lipstick that you knew he loved so much, and touched it up in the mirror in your car.

The building he worked in had the heat cranked up, probably to keep the plants from dying. You took your jacket off, and got into the elevator up to the studio. He had described the building enough times for you to know where to go.

When you walk in you see a young man sitting at a large desk. You smile at him and ask if Harry was in. He smiles and points to where Harry’s office was. It was set up so different from your office. There was a large open space and multiple set ups for photos to be taken. All of the office had glass windows. There were some other desks out in the open. You see two younger girls looking at you, their eyebrows raised. You turn and see Harry’s name on the outside window next to his open door. You run your hand over it and knock.

Harry was deep into his work. He figured it was just one of the girls hanging around his door again. You knocked a little louder.

“Excuse me, Mr. Styles?” He rolls his eyes and sighs, taking his earbuds back out. He gasps when he sees that it’s you.

“Oh my god.” He immediately perks up, and stands to greet you, wrapping his arms around you. The interns watch the whole thing. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Got a sec?” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Yeah! Come in, let me grab the door. Not that it makes for much privacy.” You watch him close it.

“I can see why you’re not able to have sex in here.” You smirk, and sit on his desk. He chuckles.

“You look really nice today.” He takes the end of your hair between two fingers.

“Thank you.” You blush.

//

“That has to be his girlfriend.” One of the girls says.

“Shh, I’m watching. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that guy smile so much.”

//

“So for real, what’s with you surprisin’ me?” He boops your nose.

“I got a call a little while ago.” You beam at him.

“Oh really?” You bite your bottom lip, and he can’t help but stare at your mouth. “Babe, you’re killin’ me.”

“We got the apartment!” You squeal jumping up and throwing your arms around him.

“What?!”

“The realtor called me earlier!”

He wraps his arms around you, lifts you up, and spins you around. He dips you slightly and kisses you, your hands go into his hair as he deepens the kiss, not caring who could see.

The girls who were watching the entire exchange have to pick their jaws up off the floor. The boy who works at the reception desk walks by them and sits on their desk.

“That’s the luckiest bitch I’ve ever seen.” He says to them.

You break the kiss as Harry sets you back up right. You giggle at his now red lips. You take your thumb and try to rub it off.

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

“S’okay, I really don’t care. So, what do we need to do next?”

“He said we can call him together after we both get home from work. I was just so excited, I didn’t want to just-“ Your eyes bug out and you snatch the picture of you in your pj’s from his desk. “Harry!” You whine. “Out of all the pictures we took that week, this is the one you choose?” You look down at it. “I look like such a dork.”

“No, you look so cute. It makes me smile every time I look at it.” He pouts. You roll your eyes and put the picture back on your desk. He grabs your face with his thumb and forefinger. “I really, really fucking hate it when you roll your eyes at me.” He says with a smile on his face. You bite your bottom lip.

“Harry.” You whisper. “We’re at your place of work.”

“And?” You were starting to sweat. You look down then back up at him through your lashes.

“We should, um, celebrate tonight.” You put your hand on his and slide it up to your mouth, giving his knuckles a kiss. “Don’t you think?”

“Great idea.” You look over your shoulder, and squint at the three younger people watching you. They all look in opposite directions.

“You really don’t have much privacy, do you?” You chuckle.

“Nope. I think all three of ‘em have a crush on me. He’s worked here the longest out of them, he’s the least annoying. The girls are interns from some college. They bother me all the time.”

“I don’t blame them.” You smirk.

“What?”

“Harry, if I was twenty years old, and I was working at a place where I had to be around a guy that looked like you all day, I’d bother you any chance I got.”

“That so?”

“Oh yeah, I’d be in here all the time like, Mr. Styles I got you a coffee, Mr. Styles you’re needed for a photo, Mr. Styles you are so funny.” You giggle as he shakes his head at you.

“That’s literally what they say to me, minus that I’m funny. I don’t think I’ve ever cracked a joke around them.”

“Really? I’m surprised, you’re a performer at heart.”

“Oh shut up.” He nudges you. “So you really came here cause ya just wanted to tell me in person.”

“Yes, you goober.”

“Ha!” He throws his head back as he laughs. “That is seriously my new favorite word. I’m not goober though, you’re goober.” There’s a sudden knock at his door. A woman with really short hair and a tattoo on the side of her neck and a hoop in her left nostril. Harry waves her in.

“Hey Harry.”

“Hi Mariah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N, she was just stoppin’ by quick.”

“No worries, hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Same to you.” You smile.

“I’m having trouble setting a shot up for one of my frames and I’m starting to get aggravated, do you have a minute to help me?”

“Course, give me two minutes.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, where did you get your nose pierced? I’ve always wanted one, but the place I’ve gotten my other piercings went out of business, and I can’t find any good places around here.”

“Oh! I went to the same place I got my tattoos. It’s this little place called Rob’s Ink. Ask for Andrew, he’s the best, made me feel totally relaxed.”

“And you didn’t have any issues after?”

“Not at all. I will say if you want a hoop, just make sure you get it pierced with a stud, the hoops heal weird.”

“Good to know, thanks.” You smile.

“What other piercings do you have?” You blush.

“Oh, just my, um, naval. Pretty basic.” Harry smirks.

“Cool, mine’s pierced too. So two minutes H?”

“Yup.” She gives you a small wave as she leaves.

“She seems nice.”

“Mariah? Yeah she’s cool. She’s been here about as long as I have. She’s the only one I don’t find to be a complete idiot.” He squints at your nose. “Do you really want your nose pierced?”

“Yeah! It’s becoming more acceptable at my work. I want a little hoop, I think it would look cute.”

“It would look hot.” You shake your head and smile.

“I better go so you can help her. I’ll see you tonight. Meet me at home so we can call the realtor and then we can go grab a bite?”

“Sounds good, love.” You give him a quick kiss, and leave his office. “I love you.” He says just as you walk out.

“I love you too.” You blow him a kiss, and he catches it, putting it in his pocket for later. Your heart flutters.

Harry walks over to the interns. The young man had gone back over to his desk. Harry places his palms on the desk and leans over.

“You girls enjoy the show?” They both blink at him as he smirks at them. “Maybe you both should find somethin’ t’work on.” He stands up straight and walks over to Mariah’s set up. They watch him walk away.

“He has to know the power he has.”

“Oh yeah, he knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“What I would give to be the girl he was kissing, my god.”  

//

When you get back to work you tell Niall all about the apartment, and he hugs you. You couldn’t wait to get home so you and Harry could go over everything. He got home a few minutes after you. You both sit at island and call the realtor going over all the steps you’d need to take next. He said you’d be able to move in, in February.

“Harry I am so excited!!”

“Me too!” You both stand and hug each other.

“Okay, where do you wanna go to eat? I’ll bring my laptop and we can make a spreadsheet of our budget. I was almost thinking we should open a joint checking account that we could just both deposit into to pay the rent through automatic payments.” He had never seen you talk so…businessy.

“Um…sure, we could talk about all tha’.”

You grab your laptop and put it in its case. Harry grabs his keys and you both head out the door. You go to a local bar that had wifi. You sit on the same side of a booth so you both can add the numbers into a spreadsheet. You talk about the different banks that you go to, and research which one would be best for you both to open an account with. He was so impressed with you. Once you finish with all of the “adult” stuff, you start to sip on the drinks you ordered.

“So…we should probably tell our families soon, huh?” You say.

“Yeah, I’ll call mum tomorrow.” He smiles. “She’s gonna be thrilled, I know it.” He puts his hand over yours. “Do you want me to help tell your folks?”

“No…it’ll be alright. My mom will be fine with it. I’m sure she’s half expecting it anyways. Maybe I’ll drive in to see her Sunday.”

“I don’t mind going with you.”

“I should really tell her myself, but thank you sweetie.”

“What about your dad. I really don’t want him yellin’ at you. And this is somethin’ you should tell him in person. Do you want me to like ask him for his permission or whatever?” You laugh.

“No, he’s not like a super traditional guy. I mean Erica and Kyle (her brother, I never named him) both moved in with their significant others early on…well, not this early on. But…I’ve always been different from them. My dad doesn’t think I think everything through, but I do.” You kiss his cheek. “I’m not going to let him ruin this for us.”

“Anythin’ special you wanna do this weekend? Five months is a big deal ya know?” He smirks.

“I would love to spend all day Saturday with you.”

“That can be arranged.”

“In bed.”

//

Harry got you out of that bar and into the backseat of his car faster than you could count to five.

[edogawatranslations]

Danganronpa Kirigiri (3) - Chapter 4, Part 4

Table of Contents | Previous: Chapter 4, Part 3

“Can each of you explain what you were doing after three in the afternoon?” Kyoko asked with one hand on her hip.

Her actions finally started to seem befitting of a homicide detective. I expected no less from her.

“Are you asking for our alibis?” Mizuiyama asked with a look of confusion. “I don’t mind, but why after three? Mr. Shirasu wasn’t killed until eleven...”

“The victim was last witnessed alive around three. It’s possible the killer approached him at that time.”

“I see,” Mizuiyama continued. “It doesn’t make for much of an alibi, but I was in this room reading a book. Since we chose this room as our base, everyone was coming in and out throughout the day, but I remained here most of the afternoon.”

“I’m sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but were you really taking things seriously?” I asked in as gentle a tone as possible. “A mysterious stranger called you to a haunted mansion, and you chose to spend the afternoon reading?”

“Nothing felt unusual at the time, and I wasn’t aware of the rumors surrounding this place until later. I determined that patiently waiting for my client to appear was the best course of action. After all, as a detective, I had an obligation to my client.”

She had a point. Aside from the mysterious request, there was nothing abnormal about the situation. I likely would’ve acted the same way.

“Did you see the victim at any point?”

“He was toying with his cell phone on that sofa until three. I don’t know where he went after that.”

“Was he on the phone with someone?” I asked.

“No, he told me he was trading stocks. I didn’t even have to ask.”

“I went around examining the paintings and scrolls inside this mansion,” Yadorigi answered next. “Since my mission was to investigate for counterfeits, I figured it couldn’t hurt to do some groundwork before my client appeared. I spent a great deal of time checking the paintings in the entryway. I crossed paths with Shirasu several times, but nothing about him seemed out of the ordinary. I can’t recall the exact times.”

Then, Yaki spoke up. “I ain’t got much to say. I was wanderin’ around. Didn’t run into that guy even once, but I kept bumping into that loose woman, and boy, was she not happy to see me. She yelled at me to get lost since she was on the phone with someone.”

Since everyone was alone, none of their alibis could be confirmed. Although, if any of them did have an airtight alibi for the entire day, it would raise some red flags.

“Ugh, I’m pooped.” Kakitsubata finally returned to the living room and threw herself onto the sofa. She lay her head on one of the sofa arms and started playing with her hair. “Hey, gangster wannabe, the scary men want to talk to you.”

“Who you callin’ a gangster wannabe? I ain’t no poser.” Yaki fixed his hair and headed to the other room.

I turned to Kakitsubata. “We already asked everyone else, but can you tell us where you were and what you were doing after three?”

“How cute! You’re like a little inspector,” she clapped in amusement. “Three? Do you really expect me to remember the nitty gritty details?”

“It doesn’t have to be exact...”

“Hmm... I peeked into a bunch of different rooms while chatting with a friend over the phone... I think?”

“Noted.”

I shouldn’t have asked.

“Yui,” Kyoko leaned over and whispered into my ear. “We’re done here. Come with me, there’s someplace else I want to investigate.”

“Huh? Where?”

Kyoko grabbed my arm and started pulling me forward.

“H-Hey, don’t shirk your responsibilities!” Kakitsubata yelled out.

“Sorry, we’ll be right back!” I shouted while being dragged out into the hallway.

“Is something wrong?” I asked Kyoko. “You’re so energized all of a sudden.”

Her change in attitude took me aback. This was the same girl who saw no point to solving a case without a request, focused solely on ranking up, and sought to avoid getting tangled up in Duel Noirs at all costs.

“...I can’t afford not to be.”

“Are you worried about the time limit? Sure, time is slowly running out, but we can spend an average of 28 hours per case, so it’s not like we’re behind.”

“That’s not it...”

She turned away to hide her solemn expression, but her grip on my arm didn’t weaken.

As I walked behind her, I took a good look at her tiny shoulders and back. How heavy a burden did this thirteen-year-old girl have to bear? And how much of it was of her own volition?

Was there anything I could do to lighten her burden?

“You’re hiding something from me, right?” I asked. She didn’t stop to nod or turn around. “I haven’t been able to ask because of the Duel Noir and all, but is there a reason you can’t go home?”

“Save it for later,” she replied curtly, turning away my offer of support.

That didn’t faze me.

“Did something happen at your house?”

“Yui,” she turned around and shot me a piercing glare. “We don’t have the liberty to be discussing trivial matters.”

But this isn’t trivial. I stopped myself before I could counter.

An invisible wall divided the two of us. I had thought it had crumbled after everything we’d been through, but it was clear that it still stood firm.

We stepped into the hallway linking the main building and the dojo. Several forensic officers were dusting for fingerprints and checking for footprints around the door.

We greeted them, presented our armbands, and entered the crime scene.

A few officers were bustling about inside. The body had been removed, leaving a darkened pool of blood in the center of the room as the only remnant of the murder.

The two suits of armor remained unmoved.

As a result of the investigation, the bizarre impression we had of the room when we discovered the crime had faded. The armored warriors, with their imposing aura, now clearly looked out of place.

Kyoko walked up to the katana-wielding warrior.

“Careful, that there’s a real sword,” one of the officers warned.

Kyoko craned her neck to inspect the katana from a safe distance. It appeared to be the same kind as the one used to stab the victim. I was unaware of the special techniques that went into crafting it, but it was probably okay to consider it a standard katana.

After brushing her hair back with her hand, she took a step away from the armor and donned a pair of black gloves.

“You gals are two of Ryuuzouji’s kids? He’s found some serious ones recently,” the officer said with admiration.

I assumed Ryuuzouji regularly sent helpers to gather information at crime scenes. Nobody but a distinguished detective like him would be permitted to do such a thing.

Unfortunately, few people were aware of his activities as an executive in a criminal organization. I wondered if the crimes he helped solve outnumbered the Duel Noirs he planned.

But he likely didn’t distinguish between the two. To him, both were a form of salvation.

“What’s the estimated time of death?” Kyoko asked the officer.

“When we arrived on the scene, the victim hadn’t been dead for more than an hour or so. That’d place it around 11 PM.”

At that time, we were standing outside the room and heard a noise coming from inside. As I suspected, that was when the victim was being stabbed beyond the door.

Kyoko stared at the pool of blood for a few moments before shifting her gaze to the warriors.

“Apparently the armor had been by the wall before,” I said to her. “I wonder why it was moved for the murder.”

She didn’t turn around. She crossed her arms and slightly tilted her head.

After a while, as if having a eureka moment, she walked over to the weaponless warrior and crouched down to check its feet. The warrior had on white tabi socks and waraji sandals woven from straw.

“Figure something out?” I asked.

“Look, there’s a stain on the straw.”

The forensic officer and I peeked over.

“You’re right, looks like mud,” the officer remarked. He lifted up an edge of the sandal with the tip of his pen and peeked at its sole. “Slightly wet. Might’ve been used to walk on the snow.”

“Th-Then... Don’t tell me...” I got goosebumps picturing the warriors marching around in the snow.

Were these warriors capable of walking on their own? Maybe the rumored sightings of the souls of fallen warriors had been of them...

“Yui, do you have a tape measure on you?”

“Yep.” I pulled out a tape measure from my bag. “Need it for something?”

She nodded, took it, and swiftly measured the length of the sandal.

“10... 10.5 inches.”

“What does the armor’s shoe size tell us?”

“It’s worth noting.” She stood up and handed back the tape measure.

“We’ll be taking the armor at some point,” the officer mentioned. “There’s blood on the torso that requires further examination.”

“Is it the victim's?” I asked.

“We won’t know for sure without a DNA test, but it matches the victim’s blood type—AB.”

“I see...”

I could only think of one possibility—the armor moved by itself and attacked the victim. I imagined the scene playing out in my mind. The warrior unsheathing its shining blade, plunging it deep into the victim’s back...

“Do the police have a working theory yet?”

“We’re investigating this as a suicide.”

“S-Suicide?”

“We’ve yet to find any evidence suggesting someone else was in this room at the time of death.”

“But wasn’t the victim stabbed in the back? I could understand if it was a knife or dagger, but could he really kill himself with a katana?”

“Sure, all he’d have to do is secure the blade somewhere. It’s an old trick, made to disguise a suicide as murder.”

“Where could it have been secured...?”

Then, it came to me. The perfect tool.

The armored warriors.

He could’ve made a warrior hold the katana before flinging himself backwards onto it.

But I discounted the idea as soon as it popped into my mind. This was a Duel Noir. Suicide couldn’t be the answer.

...But what if it was? What if this gathering had nothing to do with the Duel Noir in the first place?

“Hey, Kyoko, what if—”

I tried to get her attention, but she lost interest in the warriors and had moved to the double doors in the back of the room. Rubber bands were still wrapped around the handles. The doors were equipped with a thumbturn lock that could be engaged from the inside, but the killer intentionally left it unlocked, using rubber bands to seal off the exit instead. Maybe this setup was part of the murder trick.

Kyoko quietly walked up to one of the doors and pushed her body against it. The rubber bands stretched slightly, creating a gap large enough for wind to blow in.

The backyard was on the other side, but it was pitch black outside so I couldn’t see anything.

“Let me help,” I offered.

I stood beside her, placed my back against one of the doors, firmly planted my feet on the ground, and pushed against the door. The rubber bands stretched a surprising amount, creating a gap large enough for a person’s hand to fit through.

“Huh? Was it this loose to begin with?”

“We need to consider why the killer used rubber bands,” Kyoko said, stepping away from the doors. “I think the gap must have been used for something. Let’s try putting pressure on both of these doors simultaneously.”

I pressed my weight against both doors. Doing so resulted in a gap large enough for a slender person to slip through. Of course, since the handles were positioned at waist height, one would need to duck under the rubber bands and wriggle through the small opening below, which would require some flexible maneuvering.

“One thing is clear—this room wasn’t completely sealed.”

Inserting an object such as a doorstop into the gap would make it easier to slip through. Although the rubber bands created the perception of a firmly sealed room, there was a hidden opening all along.

“But there were no footprints outside,” Kyoko added.

“Right...”

Anyone entering or exiting through the double doors would have to walk through the backyard, but when we discovered the body, there were no footprints in either the courtyard or the backyard. We confirmed that with our own eyes.

“Oh!” A thought suddenly came to mind. “What about the door to the hallway? If the rubber bands over there were looser than we thought...”

“It required tremendous strength to open up a gap for the box cutter. No person could fit through there.”

“Then was this actually a locked room? Did we witness an impossible crime?”

“Doubtful. After all, an impossible crime is nothing more than a crime designed to look impossible. We merely perceive it to be impossible. But as long as someone continues to doubt the impossibility, the illusion crumbles. As detectives, we must fulfill that role even if we stand alone.”

Kyoko stated it so matter-of-factly, but her conviction was leagues beyond that of an average detective. Her state of mind could only be achieved by someone born a detective, whose every waking moment was defined by a sense of duty.

That may have been the very identity of the wall between us.

Next: Chapter 4, Part 5

[justheretobreakthings]

Remember Me - Chapter 19

(First Chapter) (Previous Chapter) (Next Chapter)

Word Count: 4,353 (Total Word Count: 75,456) Read on AO3

Story Summary:

It was strange enough for the paladins of Voltron to have found another human this far from home, locked in a Galra prison. But it was stranger still when this human insisted that he knew them, and even that he was the former red paladin of Voltron.

That couldn’t possibly be true, could it? After all, if this Keith was actually a part of the Voltron team, then why does nobody remember him?

Chapter Preview:

Lance laughed. “So, have you just been spying on all of us this whole dinner?”

“No,” Shiro said. “I’ve been people-watching. Much more socially acceptable.”

“Uh-huh.”

Shiro shrugged. “What can I say. Feel like it’s kinda my job to keep an eye on the lot of you. Someone has to make sure you kids keep yourselves out of trouble.” He suddenly frowned, squinting across the room. “Speaking of which…”

Lance followed his gaze and spotted Keith walking alongside one of the serving tables. Or, staggering, more like. He was moving slowly, hands on the edge of the table, taking awkward, lurching steps. “Oh God,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “You know, I had a feeling Mullet wasn’t the sort of guy who could hold his liquor.”

“How are you liking the nunvill, Number Three?”

Lance spun around to face Coran at the sound of his voice, then his eyes darted between the cup in his hand and the royal advisor’s expectant face. “Wait, this is nunvill?!” he said, incredulous. “It doesn’t taste a thing like it did last time!”

“Yes, it seems human taste buds aren’t well suited to appreciating nunvill’s intense flavor,” Coran said. “More’s the pity. However, the buoying qualities of the beverage are really too good for you paladins to have to miss out on, so I recruited Hunk and Shiro as taste testers to figure out a fruit juice blend that would be more, ah, palatable to you humans. Thought I’d debut it here. It’s always good party etiquette for the guest to bring along a dish or beverage for the host to serve. Keep that in mind.”

“Well, you did a good job. I can barely taste it. What is this, like, five percent alcohol?”

“One percent nunvill, although I don’t know how that compares in strength to your ‘alcohols’ on Earth. Considering that a single glass of nunvill can effectively de-rust an average-sized ion cannon…”

“Yeah, no, that’s - that’s strong,” Lance said. “I’ll try and be careful with it.”

“Good lad,” said Coran with a satisfied nod. “It’s nice that some of my efforts aren’t going to waste today.”

Lance grimaced. “Coran, you’re not too upset about us not doing the air show, are you?”

“No, no, of course not!” Coran said with a laugh. “It simply wouldn’t make sense to do the show anymore after that battle with the Holvarthans.”

“Oh, good. I was worried that you’d be - ”

“And sure, I may have poured my heart into that choreography to put on as elegant a show as possible, and spent a full day working on those new additions. And do I enjoy getting to play the roles of director and narrator and producer and everything I could have been if a career in show business had ever taken off for me? Of course I do! But upset? Bah! I’m not upset! Not at all, my boy, not at all!” He looked down at his own cup of nunvill-juice. “You know, I think I preferred the stronger stuff…”

He sighed and left without a goodbye, leaving Lance shaking his head to himself. And he’d thought Pidge could be passive-aggressive. Clearly, she’d been bested by a new master.

His eyes roved around the room, eyes out for his fellow paladins. Most everyone in the room was engaged in conversation; the Thotirnians were talkative people on the whole, it seemed, and they moved about the room easily to dart between conversation partners, the gangly limbs on their reptilian bodies that seemed to contain triple the number of joints as humans no doubt helping in the endeavor. The banquet hall, too, seemed to have been arranged for optimum sociability. The dinner was served buffet-style, but with the dishes scattered across different tables all over the hall rather than on one long serving station. There weren’t many tables for actually eating, and only enough chairs to seat about a third of the occupants in the hall. The majority Thotirnians apparently preferred to eat while standing and walking about.

Fortunately all the dishes served were basically finger food, Lance noted as he turned to a table refill his plate with a particularly sweet dish that resembled half-sized spring rolls in appearance. His focus at this party had been more the food than the people. The scaly, oblong-faced Thotirnians weren’t particularly appealing to flirt with, and their culture seemed perfectly okay with interrupting speakers in conversation and cutting each other off, making story-telling difficult.

They were honestly just a bit exhausting. The introverted Pidge must have been getting irritable by this point, and even Shiro got worn out by chatter at times. And Keith…

Well, Lance actually hadn’t paid much attention to Keith’s whereabouts during this whole gathering. The mullet wasn’t exactly a social butterfly. A social pill bug, perhaps. Deciding to check and make sure Voltron’s guest hadn’t gone and imploded from oversocialization, Lance started weaving through the crowd, keeping his eyes peeled for the silvery armor.

He spotted Keith after a few minutes, standing near one of the few empty tables that was available for dining rather than serving food, leaning awkwardly against a chair as if he wasn’t sure what to do with his legs. He was in the middle of a talk with three Thotirnians, and judging by his expression, whatever they were discussing wasn’t Keith’s preferred topic. Lance casually sauntered over to listen in.

“So would that make you some sort of soldier for the Voltron alliance?” one of the Thotirnians, the tallest of the three, was asking. “Are you a conscript?”

“No, that’s not - I do more than just help out in battles,” Keith said. “I mean, I’m living in the castle and - ”

“You are a tenant?”

“No, no, I - it’s not like I’m paying them rent or - look, I’m an ally, but, like, a close ally. I live with the paladins and I do my part in the battles and around the castle and - and stuff like that.”

The Thotirnians were quiet a moment, expressions pensive, before realization crossed the face of one of them and he spoke up: “Ah, so you are a servant.”

“Oh my god,” Keith muttered, closing his eyes and lifting his cup to his lips to drink.

“What are we talking about over here?” Lance asked, moving in so he was standing right at Keith’s side.

The tallest Thotirnian gestured with a wave of his hand toward Keith. “We were simply inquiring as to this one’s relationship to Voltron. He is obviously not a paladin, you see, nor a soldier from any military we were aware of, and yet he flew with your team in battle.”

“Ah, well,” Lance said with a shrug. “Let’s just say our relationship with ol’ Keithy here is ‘complicated’ and leave it at that. Right, Keith?” Keith grimaced and took another gulp of his drink.

The Thotirnian nodded solemnly. “Understandable. It must be a strange transition, putting a Galra into your servitude, but - ”

He was interrupted by the sound of a spluttering cough as Keith choked on his drink. Lance thumped him on the back, and Keith managed a couple of gasping breaths before asking in a strangled voice, “How - how did you know I’m Galra?”

“Well, your smell,” the Thotirnian said, a hint of annoyance in his tone as if he were explaining something patently obvious. “It is fainter than most Galra, but it’s there. And your blood is not as warm as that of the paladins.”

“How can you tell - ?”

“I can see it quite clearly.”

“And your eyes,” one of the other Thotirnians added. “Those irises - I have only ever seen the color on Galra, haven’t you?” The other two nodded in agreement.

“Yes, they are quite frightening,” the first one said.

“All right, cool,” Lance said, before clearing his throat. “Hey, have you three heard about how the flux capacitors on the Lions work? It’s super cool, you should go ask the green or yellow paladin about it. They’d love to share some of the gritty details.”

“Really?” said the Thotirnian, brow raised - or, the ridge over his eyes angled in such a way that a brow would be raised if one was there. “It sounds interesting. Thank you, we will search them out.”

The Thotirnians left, and with a sigh, Keith collapsed into a nearby chair and ran a hand over his face. “Thanks for that,” he muttered.

“No problem,” Lance said with a shrug. “I’m kinda guessing parties aren’t really your scene, huh?”

“I had been getting better at them,” Keith sighed. He took another swig from his drink and then set the empty cup down with a thunk. “It’s easier when I actually know what I’m doing at them. I - I thought maybe coming to this thing with you guys was gonna feel a bit like old times…” He brought his index finger up to idly brush around the rim of his cup. “Guess that’s not really a possibility anymore. I gotta get another drink.”

“You haven’t been drinking too much of that stuff, have you?” Lance asked. “It’s weak, but it’s still nunvill. So, you know, space alcohol.”

“I can handle alcohol,” Keith said, rolling his eyes.

Lance snorted. “Oh, please. You can’t even handle milk.”

“That’s not even - whatever,” Keith said. He stood up from the table. “I’m drinking, and I’ve been drinking. Only way I’m getting through this party. You can go ask Pidge about her flux component, leave me be.”

“Flux capacitor,” Lance corrected. “And they’re not real. Did you really not - dude, that was a Back to the Future reference, don’t you…?” He shook his head in exasperation at Keith’s blank stare. “Wow, man. Whatever, I guess. Enjoy your drinks.”

“I will.” With a languid wave of his hand Keith left, and Lance resumed his wandering. He eventually found himself near Allura and stuck around for a while to listen in as she fielded questions from curious Thotirnians about the other planets in the alliance. He even helped answer a couple himself, to give Allura’s voice a break, although there weren’t many he could. He resolved to start making an effort to pay better attention during meetings - a resolution that he had already made a dozen times over in the past and never stuck to, but this time surely he could follow it through.

Eventually he grew bored, though, so he politely ducked out of the group and scanned the crowd for the other paladins. Shiro was the first he spotted, by himself, leaning against a wall with a drink in his hand, eyes roving about the room.

“Having a good time?” Lance asked as he approached.

“Perfectly mediocre,” Shiro replied.

“Ah, well.” Lance leaned against the wall next to him. “At least the food’s good.”

“That’s true. I think I’ve seen Hunk go to every table in this place at least twice. And you see how Pidge is carrying her helmet around two-handed like that?” He pointed across the crowd, and Lance followed his finger to peer at her. “She stole a bunch of those rolls with the jam fillings and hid them in her helmet. Guess she wanted to take them back for later. She really thinks she’s being subtle.”

Lance laughed. “So, have you just been spying on all of us this whole dinner?”

“No,” Shiro said. “I’ve been people-watching. Much more socially acceptable.”

“Uh-huh.”

Shiro shrugged. “What can I say. Feel like it’s kinda my job to keep an eye on the lot of you. Someone has to make sure you kids keep yourselves out of trouble.” He suddenly frowned, squinting across the room. “Speaking of which…”

Lance followed his gaze and spotted Keith walking alongside one of the serving tables. Or, staggering, more like. He was moving slowly, hands on the edge of the table, taking awkward, lurching steps. “Oh God,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “You know, I had a feeling Mullet wasn’t the sort of guy who could hold his liquor.”

Shiro sighed and pulled himself away from the wall, setting off toward Keith, and Lance decided to follow. When they reached him, he had just made it across the whole table and had stepped away from it, arms out slightly at his side to steady himself. “Hey, bud,” Shiro said, reaching out a hand to take Keith’s arm. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m great,” Keith said, flashing him a smile. It was clear instantly just how flushed his face was, and his eyes seemed to take a second to locate Shiro’s face before slurring, “This is - ‘s a good party, Sh’ro. Everyone’s fun.”

Shiro raised a brow. “Huh. Keith, how much have you had to drink tonight?”

“I dunno,” Keith answered. “I had - hmm. There was a cup…” He frowned. “I d’nno what happened to that.”

“Damn, he’s really gone,” Lance said. “He wasn’t like this earlier.”

“How much earlier we talking?” Shiro asked.

“A while? Not sure. He, uh, he said he’s gotta drink a bit to get through the party, and some of the Thoti-, um, the Thor-, the alien dudes, they were giving him a little bit of a hard time, so…”

Shiro frowned and looked to Keith, who didn’t seem to have been listening and was instead staring in wonder at the ceiling. “Keith, are you having a tough time at this dinner?”

“Mmmmm, yeah,” Keith said. “S’okay, though. The juice is good. Shiro, ‘ve you tried the juice? Ya gotta try it, Shirooooo…”

“All right,” Shiro said. “I’m taking him back to the castle.” He threw an arm around Keith’s shoulders, and Keith leaned into it instantly, eyes lidding sleepily. “Lance, could you let Allura know where we went?”

“Wait, you’re leaving?” said Lance.

“Well, Keith doesn’t seem to be in any state to be up and about, and he definitely can’t get back to the castle on his own. I have to leave.”

Lance paused, gaze flicking between Shiro and Keith, the former’s arm securely around the latter to steady him as he slumped comfortably into his grip. “Hey, um, I can take him.”

“Thanks, Lance, but you don’t have to - ”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lance insisted. He slipped his own arm around Keith’s back to tug him away from Shiro. “You’re the Black Paladin, you should really stick around ‘til this thing’s wrapped up. And I’m feeling pretty sleepy, been wanting to head back anyway.” He yawned for emphasis, and beside him, Keith yawned too.

Shiro hesitated, frown deepening, but finally he nodded. “All right,” he said slowly. “Just put him in his bedroom and try to make sure he doesn’t make a mess or fall on his face or anything.”

“Will do, Shiro,” Lance said, giving him a thumbs-up before turning away and dragging Keith beside him. “Come on, you idiot, let’s get you back.”

“‘Kay,” Keith said, falling into step obligingly, and already Lance decided that drunk Keith was leagues better to deal with than migraine-y Keith. Drunk Keith didn’t need to make it a point to be stubborn for the sake of stubbornness.

It turned out, though, that drunk Keith was just as unsteady on his feet as migraine-y Keith, and as they walked back toward the castle under the darkening sky, it became increasingly obvious just how much of a lightweight Keith was. At one point, he mumbled something incoherent, knocked his head onto Lance’s paultron with an audible thunk, and closed his eyes, apparently trying to go to sleep on his feet right then and there.

It would have been hilarious if it didn’t have to come with muscle strain on Lance’s part, he mused as he shook Keith off of him and set them moving again.

The walk back to the castle was slow and unsteady, but they made it with Keith still on his feet, and that was the important part. Keith lolled his head back and watched the lights along the ceiling pass by as Lance steered him to his living quarters. “Hey, hey Lance,” Keith said, too loudly for the silent and empty halls of the castle.

“I can hear you, man, you don’t need to shout,” Lance replied.

Keith continued in the exact same volume. “Th’s castle - it’s so big. Y’ever think about that?”

“Uh, I don’t really think about it. But, yeah, it’s big. Good on you for noticing.” He turned down the hallway that housed Keith’s room. “Nearly there, buddy.”

“It’s too big,” Keith said, expression falling to a frown. “Too big. Things… things’ll get lost…”

“I’m sure they do.” Lance opened the door and led the two of them in. “All right, we’re home. Bedtime.”

“Yep,” said Keith. He pulled away from Lance and simply tilted backward onto the bed, flopping onto it face-up right along the head of the bed on top of the pillow. “Bedtime.”

“Okay, dude, if you sleep in full armor you’re gonna be sore as hell come morning.”

“Mm. Tha’s smart,” Keith slurred. He pulled himself back up into a sitting position and gazed silently down at his vambrace for a few ticks before reaching out a hand to fumble uselessly at it. “I can’t get ‘t off,” he declared.

Lance sighed. “God, you’re like damn a toddler when you’re drunk, aren’t you? Remind us never to let you drink at a party again.”

“Okay,” Keith said, obligingly holding out his arm for Lance to remove the vambrace, then move on to the rest of the armor. “Thanks,” he added after a bit, drawing out the ‘s’ in a hiss.

“Whatever,” said Lance. He set the vambraces and gauntlets aside and moved to the breastplate. “I’d really hate to see this armor get covered in vomit tomorrow morning when you wake up with a hangover. Which is definitely going to happen, Mister Lightweight.”

Keith just hummed appreciatively, swaying a little where he sat until Lance grabbed him by the shoulders to hold him still. “‘S nice armor,” Keith agreed. “Liked my old armor better, though.”

“Yeah, your old armor,” Lance muttered, lifting the breastplate off of him. “Stick your legs out a bit, will you?”

Keith obliged, and he let out a small burp before continuing. “It was the red armor. Allura says I di’n’t wear it, but… I dunno… feels right. I like red.”

“Mm-hm,” Lance hummed, pulling the greave off of his right ankle.

“Heh,” said Keith. “I said ‘I like red’ because - b’cause, like, the color. But I like Red, too. Th’lion. She’s a good lion.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lance straightened up, tossing the last of the armor aside. “Okay, so, I guess you’re gonna have to sleep in your undersuit tonight. Because I am definitely not gonna change you into your pajamas. I think we’ll both rest easier forever if this is the most I ever strip you, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Keith agreed softly. He turned and stared down at the armor, his brow creasing.

After a few seconds of the silent staring, Lance tilted his head. “Uh, Mullet? You all right there?”

Keith turned back to Lance. His face still flush as it had been this whole, but now with the addition of a dewiness in the eyes that took Lance by surprised. “Lance?” Keith said in practically a whisper. “I miss it.”

“Um,” Lance said slowly. “What - what do you miss?”

“Bein’ a paladin,” Keith answered. “I miss - I miss Red.”

Lance let out a slow exhale. “Yeah, I know you do. We’ve been over this, man, I know it’s no fun for you and all, but you - ”

Keith suddenly let out a loud, strangled sound before leaning to the side, his expression crumbling as he flopped against the wall at the head of the bed. “I miss Shiro,” he croaked.

“Um.” Lance cleared his throat and shifted his stance awkward. “Do you, uh, do you want me to go back and get him, or - ?”

“No!” Keith snapped, face immediately falling to a scowl. “No, no, no, no, not - I miss my Shiro.”

“What do you mean, your Shiro?”

“My Shiro. The one from - the one I r’ember…” His chin trembled and he let out another strangled whine before burying his face in his hands. “This one, he’s nice, an’ he’s good, but… but he’s not m’brother. He doesn’ remember… he was the first - the first family tha’ I had in sooooo long, and - an’ now i’s all gone…” He lowered his hands and stared at them, curling and uncurling his fingers against his palm. “It’s all gone…” he whispered.

Lance lowered himself cautiously onto the bed, staring at Keith’s face, where the tears had started flowing. This was… not good. He wouldn’t have offered to take Keith back to the castle on his own if he had known that he was going to end up like this.

He had dealt with drunk people before. Once someone had spiked the punch at a party he and Hunk had attended during their Garrison days, and Lance had wound up having to babysit his friend for the rest of the night. But drunk Hunk had simply found everything hilarious. And Coran had once vastly underestimated both the strength of the beverages on one of the planets they had once visited and his own tolerance level, but drunk Coran had simply become an even more loud, talkative, and flirty version of himself.

Giggly drunk, he could handle. Bold drunk, he could handle. Weepy drunk, though?

He lifted a hand to awkwardly pat Keith’s back. “Uh… there there?” Keith didn’t even seem to notice, just began mumbling something under his breath. “Keith?” Lance said. “I, uh, I didn’t catch that, what’d you say?”

Keith turned his head, blinking blearily as his eyes slowly met Lance’s. “It just keeps happ’n’n, Lance,” he whispered. “Every time I try… just all goes away… ” He let out a hitched sob and buried his face back into his hands. “‘S my fault,” he said, voice muffled through his fingers.

“What’s your fault?”

“I left,” Keith said. “I left, ‘cause I was gettin’ it all wrong... messed it all up - tha’s what happens, Lance, I ge’ there, I mess ‘t up, an’ then I have t’ go… but I really really tried, Lance, I tried an’ I thought - I was doin’ it, I w’s doing good, and we were all friends, but then - b’t then - but then it was bad again, and I had to go - had to go - had to - I still tried, I tried with the Ba-… with the - the Bade - the Blades, but then it all just… poof.” He let out a sigh, his shoulders shaking. “All gone,” he finished off in a whisper so tiny Lance barely picked up on it.

He listed to the side, letting his eyes drift close, before softly adding, “It hurts. Hurts so much…”

Lance took a deep, uncertain breath. “Right. Um. I’m not - I’m not sure I followed all of that but - but, um - ” Good God, he was definitely not the person who should be doing this. He could give a pep talk with the best of them, but that was only when he knew his audience. He knew all the buttons to press to get Hunk smiling again, and how to bolster Allura’s strength when she needed it. But Keith - Keith was a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mullet. He had no clue what Keith needed to hear, or wanted to hear. Or even whether he was so drunk that he wouldn’t even gauge any meaning out of anything Lance did say.

He regretted not letting Keith just fall asleep on their walk back to the castle. Would have made things much easier.

For now, he just needed to get Keith to settle down. Get him to stop crying, and get some rest. Then, by morning, surely he will have forgotten all about all this shit on his mind. Or, at least, he would be sobered up and be able to discuss it in some way that made a lick of sense, and hopefully with someone who actually had some idea how to handle it.

Cautiously he stood up from the bed. “Hey, uh, look, Keith,” he said slowly. “I’m, uh - I’m sure that, whatever it is you’re on about, it - it wasn’t your fault.”

“Was,” Keith said softly.

“Well, um, okay, even if it was, that’s - that’s over now. You have to remember, of course, none of that - any bad stuff you remember, it didn’t really happen, right? So, you know. You don’t even need to worry about it!” Keith’s lower lip began trembling hard, new tears starting to pour from his eyes. Okay, shit, Lance thought. Not the strategy to go with. “I mean - I mean, just the - just the bad parts. The parts about, uh, messing up and stuff? Those were - that part’s fake. But, um, I’m sure the rest of it is… that’s real?”

He examined Keith’s expression intently, trying to gauge how Keith was taking it. It didn’t exactly feel good to lie to him - in fact his stomach was turning more leaden every passing second - but the guy was three sheets to the wind; it wasn’t like any lie Lance told now was going to stick. And if being told that, yes, sure, his memories were real, if that was what Keith needed right now to stop crying, so be it.

“My team?” Keith asked quietly. “They’re real? … They know me?”

“Yeah, man, ‘course they do.”

“Where are they?”

“Uh…” Lance cleared his throat. “Tell you what, how about - how about I leave and go get them?”

“You’ll… where’re they?”

“They’re kind of a ways away, but I can go get them for you. But it’ll be a little while, see, so - so in the meantime you need to stop crying and get some rest.”

“Get some rest…”

“Yeah. And then by the time you wake up, they’ll be here, and everything will be great. Sound good?”

Keith seemed to mull it over for a few seconds, then he gave Lance a woozy smile. “Thank you,” he said.

“No problem,” said Lance. “So, you just get some sleep, and I’m gonna - I’m gonna leave.”

“Yeah…”

“Good night, Keith.”

Lance turned to leave, and made it across the room and had his hand on the door before Keith cried, “Wait! Lance!”

Lance whipped back around, to see Keith suddenly wide-eyed, urgency written across his face. “What is it?” he asked.

“I gotta - I gotta tell you - ” said Keith. “It’s important.”

Lance hurried back toward him. “What? What’s wrong?”

Keith placed his hands firmly on Lance’s shoulders to look him squarely in the eye. And with an amount of solemnity and directness that surely shouldn’t even have been possible in his drunkenness, he announced, “I am going to throw up.”

Then, to Lance’s dismay, he turned around, leaned over, and did just that.

[jungblue]

mixtape (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader 

genre: smut, fluff, comedy / college, podcast personality au

word count: 15,610

description: Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods... One of them being oh so tempting.

“This week’s topic is—” Sugar started, of course only to be swiftly interrupted by the second half of the two-man show podcast that had sort of gone viral around your college campus.

But regardless of being cut short, the metallic nature of his voice still managed to worm its way directly into your chest, where it festered into something so captivating that you couldn’t help but sigh. It was cool to the touch as the syllables of his chosen words sent an intrusion of goosebumps along your arms and thighs. It had a certain gravel, a deepness that you could sometimes feel in the pit of your belly if you listened to him long enough with your eyes closed. However, more times than not, the grit would be severed with a vibrant laugh that rang so sweetly that you could feel it clamoring around your heart with giddiness on its heels.

“—Studying! So sexy, right?” Jay interjected mid-sentence, something that anyone who listened to their weekly episodes would quickly learn is a norm.

However, there were times of course where Sugar was allowed the courtesy of going off on long tangents without his friend’s interruption, and in those moments his voice was hypnotic, if you had to put it simply. It tugged you beneath the current of concentration until you were pressing the volume button on your phone to raise his vocals higher. The small hitch of his breath, or exhale against the mic when he would sigh due to the topic at hand, they made you lean in closer to the invisible man on the other side of the pre-recorded audio that filtered through your headphones.

“Another Jay-led interruption here on mixtape, wow how shocking?” Sugar deadpanned, his sarcasm making you grin to yourself in amusement.

“He loves me guys, don’t let him fool you just because he likes to act all cool and stoic while recording. He’s a big softie, honestly.”

“Really? I’m the softie? Who was the one I found crying on their couch the other day because Bridge to Tera-fucking-bithia was on TV?”

“Oh, you really wanna go there?” Jay scoffed, a comeback already settling on his tongue. After all, this sort of playful banter, along with their personality dynamic was the main reason that the podcast worked so well. Because really it was just half an hour of them going on tangents and talking shit to each other. “You cried for hours over that fucking sports anime, Ace of some shit. I had to buy you like three pizzas just to calm your ass down — which you never Venmo’d me back for… Just sayin’.”

“First of all, it’s Ace of Diamond, asshole, and you didn’t play sports in high school so you just don’t get it. Their pain and suffering, the loss, the goddamn character development. It’s just — okay, never mind I’m not getting into this with you because honestly I’m getting a bit teary-eyed thinking about it again.”

They both snorted in laughter over the microphone, and you couldn’t help but do the same because it was honestly infectious. Their conversations were always so natural and funny.

“Okay now that we’re done talking about shit that makes us cry, are you ready to get into this week’s topic that you so rudely interrupted the introduction of?” Sugar asked after they both came down from the high of their breathless amusement.

“I mean it’s studying, dude. Can you blame me? I’m just gonna tell everyone that I really wanted to avoid this topic at all cost, but Sugar here just wouldn’t budge. So if you use our voices as a monotonous background for your descent into sleep tonight, I legit won’t blame you.”

“Nothing is monotonous when it comes to you, so let’s not lie. This is a podcast of integrity dammit.” You heard the playful slam of Sugar’s palm against whatever surface they were presumably sitting at. You giggled slightly at his sliver of humor until he continued. “But really, even though it isn’t the most exciting topic ever, this is still a college podcast, and Jay and I need to cover all of our bases, so you just gotta bear with us. But as a special treat for suffering through my tips and tricks, next week’s episode is gonna be one that I’m sure you were all expecting eventually—”

“—College sex life! That’s right, my friends, we’re gonna get all down in that bow chicka wow wow nitty gritty—”

“I hate you so much,” Sugar said, but you could definitely hear the way his voice shook with laughter at Jay’s ridiculous commentary. That was another reason his voice enticed you so much. It was just really raw, always managing to convey the smile, annoyance, distraction, or frustration that no doubt laced his expression. It was funny, you had absolutely no idea as to what the appearance of your favorite podcast personality was, yet you still managed to picture him inside of your head as he spoke with each and every emotion that his weekly episodes brought him and his lively counterpart to. The curl of his lip or roll of his eyes somehow manifested themselves in your thoughts so vividly. “You sound like such a fratty douche, maybe you wanna reel it in a bit?”

“Well I am fratty, but not the douche kind.”

“Debatable, but admittedly sometimes I do forget that you’re part of Delta Delta Dickhead.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s next week’s topic, sorry for the wait.”

“Ohhh nice segue, dude. But you’re still an asshole. Anyways yeah, next week’s gonna be a lot of fun, you’ll get to hear all about Sugar’s freshman year filled with pointless Tinder dates and chlamydia surprises — so, so much fun.” It seemed that you and Sugar sputtered violently in surprise at the sudden proclamation.

“Really? You’re gonna rub freshman year fuck-ups in my face?”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“You mean shitty friends,” Sugar proposed.

“Tomato, tomato,” Jay replied by saying the words in the exact same way, with what seemed like a shrug.

“That’s… Not even how the saying — okay, whatever. Moving on. Studying. What’re your tips, and don’t you dare say things about not cramming or waiting until the last minute. Nobody wants to hear that Harvard shit.”

“Don’t be mean, kids from Harvard might listen to this.”

“I mean it was a compliment more than anything. Their time management skills are just alien to me. But the bigger point here is that if there’s anyone from Harvard listening to this podcast please make me the CFO or something if you end up creating the next Facebook or whatever. Just don’t screw me over like Eduardo. I saw The Social Network, buddy,” Sugar warned as he moved in closer to the mic it seemed.

“Great movie.”

“Fucking fantastic movie.”

“No biases whatsoever.”

“Of course, they would never.”

“But anyways, so my studying tips,” Jay paused for a moment, already sighing. “See this is why I didn’t wanna do this topic. Nothing is fun about studying. How can I even make this interesting?”

“Guess you’re just not as creative as me,” Sugar replied, most certainly smirking as he did so.

“Okay, big shot, you go then. What’s your tip?”

There was a small pause before he answered, and it made your breath hitch a little. “Well, it’s a bit not safe for work.”

“You’re lying,” Jay exclaimed immediately. “What the hell kind of studying are you doing? Studying pussy, maybe. Not fucking physics.”

“Well you’re not wrong, I mean on my part at least. But it can definitely be applied whatever way you want, depending on who needs to study.”

You felt yourself sit up straighter against your headboard, slightly (or very) intrigued by whatever this studying tip was.

“Okay, just spill already. Now you’ve got me interested. If this is any good I’m actually gonna be pissed that you didn’t tell me sooner.”

“You’ll live,” Sugar laughed. “But the only thing you’ll need is flash cards.”

“Oh my god, wow I’m getting so hard just thinking about those flexible paper rectangles. Mhm, oh yeah.”

“I’m ignoring you. Anyway, once you have the flash cards you’ll have to find yourself a consensual study partner who’s in the mood to go down on you—”

“What the fuck? That took a turn. I mean a good turn, but still,” Jay interrupted for unsurprisingly the millionth time, and so Sugar simply continued without acknowledging the outburst.

“Once you have the agreement set up, it’s pretty straight forward. Get your stack of flashcards with everything that you need to know for that exam, and for every one that you get right you get some of that sweet, lovely oral stimulation, and for every one that you get wrong you obviously get nothing. Or you could always be mean and push the incentive higher by saying you get nothing for the next five or so cards if you get one wrong. But yeah that is my studying tip.”

You felt your tongue almost involuntarily run along the top of your teeth. There was even a slight flare of pressure in your lower stomach as you imagined the idea of participating in the scenario that you wish you had heard of sooner. Maybe you needed to pick up some flashcards…

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jay finally said after a pause that you chalked off as astonishment. “Dude, that’s… That’s fucking genius. You should’ve written that on a blimp and gotten it flown over campus. Like… Sex and productivity, now that is revolutionary.”

Sugar simply snorted in response. “Okay, it’s not that crazy. I’m definitely not the first person to do it. But I thought I would share for all the unknowing parties out there. So yeah, if you’re gonna have sex, might as well study for bio or whatever while you’re at it.”

“Okay real question though,” Jay suddenly asked, curiosity brimming. “So you’ve actually done this before, right?”

“Obviously, I wouldn’t recommend it if I hadn’t,” He responded simply.

“So obviously the most important question is… Did they pass the test?”

Oh yeah, that was sort of the important part, wasn’t it? That the sex wouldn’t be so distracting that your productiveness wilted because of it. So with that in mind, you waited carefully to hear Sugar’s answer.

“Dude, okay so this might sound like I’m bragging, but I promise it’s just the truth. Every time I’ve done it,” He paused for a second, building the anticipation. “They set the fucking curve.”

You felt your blood spike instantly, and then you had to accept the fact that you just got the tiniest bit turned on by the idea of good grades. What the hell was wrong with you?

“Shut the fuck up. You’ve gotta be lying. I don’t’ believe you. I refuse to believe you, dude.” You could tell that Jay was smiling through his disbelief, even if his words were skeptical.

“I swear. No bullshit. One-hundred percent, all of them.”

“What… the fuck? I don’t know if I should believe you, but to save us from arguing until the end of time on the episode I’m just gonna go with it for now. But like, wow… Oral and studying, who knew?”

“I promise I’m not lying, but yeah try it out guys. Flashcards are sold at your local Wal-mart, Staples, and just about everywhere else you could possibly think of.”

“Yeah, might be kind of weird though. If someone’s about to go down on you, and you’re just like, uhm hey can you read these flashcards to me in this weird study tactic I learned off of a podcast,” He laughed, and yeah you had to agree. It sounds nice in theory, but actually asking someone to do it might be a tad awkward.

“Just put it in the bio of your Tinder profile. ‘Just looking for someone to do the mixtape flashcard study tip with.’ If they get it and are interested, then there you go.”

“First message: You got the flashcards?”

You snickered at the idea, as did the two boys in your headphones.

“Yeah, you’re definitely not getting a reply with a lead-off question like that.”

“Definitely not. I don’t care if you look like KJ Apa, you’re not getting a response.”

“Who’s that?”

“Archie from Riverdale.”

Sugar hummed in response. “Haven’t seen it. It’s that CW show, right?”

“Yes, and oh my god, I can’t believe we’re friends. It’s so good. Like the dialogue is kind of ehh, but the actual story is addicting.”

“Wow, sorry I didn’t take you for someone that would enjoy CW shows.”

“Fuck off, Gossip Girl transcends time and space.”

“You’re in a frat, of course you’d like that boujee shit,” He quipped playfully.

“Not true. I had a girlfriend in high school who watched it, and like… dude before you know it you’re invested and crying that Serena gets everything that Blair wants in life. It’s fucked up.”

You smiled, partly due to your own enjoyment of the teen-socialite drama, but also because of Sugar’s laughter that he was clearly trying to stifle. “Good to know,” He ended up saying with light traces of humor still managing to catch his words. “But what were we even talking about? Study tips? Yeah, so—”

“Dude!” Jay suddenly exclaimed, making you jump slightly.

“Fuck, don’t yell. What is it?” Sugar replied with a hint of irritation.

“They’re giving out free milkshakes and t-shirts at the quad.”

Sugar sighed, because just like you they were college students, and who in their right mind could pass up free stuff on that type of budget. You certainly hadn’t when you had heard about it yesterday, when the duo seemed to have recorded this week’s episode. “Right in front of my fucking podcast, really?”

“Sorry, no post-coital cuddling this week. Gotta run, and I’m sure by the time all of you hear this you’ll have gotten your milkshakes and shirts too, so no hard feelings?”

“Yup, so until next time I’m Sugar.”

“And I’m Jay. Don’t run the on-campus store out of flashcards while we’re gone, you filthy animals. Or totally do because that would be hilarious.”

“Christ, milkshakes are running out. Let’s go.”

The podcast ended with that, Sugar abruptly demanding to quicken the pace in the name of free milkshakes. You don’t know why but the pure relatability of it made you smile, even if just the tiniest bit. You reached up, pulling the headphones out of your ears before lying flat against your bed.

Today had been a rather stressful one with studying for your upcoming anatomy test. It was more information than you could ever hope to cram into your head with the small frame of time until the actual exam. But even with that looming thought eating at the back of your mind, you still felt a lightness in your chest, and you knew what it was because of.

You weren’t sure what it was about them specifically. Their personalities most certainly, their dynamic as friends, the side-tangents they would go off into about The Social Network and Gossip Girl, or the fact that they would stop mid-podcast to high-tail it to the quad for free shit. But it helped to distract you, even if it was only for a little while, away from the stresses that your own life faced. It was strange, that two random guys that went to your college and did a weekly podcast, were able to make your day just the tiniest bit less suffocating. You didn’t know what they looked like or even what their real names were, but somehow it just felt like you could take a breather for the amount of time that you listened to them banter.

But most certainly the strangest thing was the fact that you had developed a weird… Crush? Yeah, that was probably the only word for it. You had developed some strange… feelings towards the guy who used the alias Sugar. It was odd, that over the months of listening to him speak, his characteristics coming through more and more, you just found something about him so alluring. His voice, personality, ideals, sense of humor, just everything pulled you in, only for you to sadly realize that you had no idea who he even was. You didn’t even know his damn name. That was honestly what you wanted to know the most. Of course, you would love to know what he looked like so you could put a face to the voice, but having his name, there was just something more personal about that.

You could feel yourself drifting with that thought. Names scattered around inside of your head. None of them feeling right as you tried to tie it to the voice you had become so attached to over the past several months. Your eyes closed, the deep grip of sleep pulling you farther from consciousness.

You wish you could say that you had gotten to stay like that for a while, peacefully napping, thinking about the mysterious podcast personality, but you got maybe an hour in before your phone started ringing violently from where you had dropped it on the bed after finishing the podcast.

“Fuck,” You mumbled to yourself, voice scratchy as you blindly reached for the device, only vaguely looking at who the caller was before swiping to answer it. “Yes?”

“Someone sounds tired,” Jimin said, sounding slightly amused with your groggy state.

“Yeah, I was napping, you ass.”

“Well I have an important question,” He replied, ignoring the insult. But Jimin had been your best friend for years, so you were both used to the banter by now.

“Better be a million-dollar question.”

He let out a tiny laugh before replying. “Oh, I know you’ll be interested. Did you listen to the new mixtape episode yet?”

You felt yourself wake-up slightly, just at the mention of it. “Yes, I have.”

“Good,” Jimin said plainly, as if he had already known your answer. Which of course he had because he knows you always stop everything and listen the second a mixtape episode drops.

“Why?” You asked, but this was Jimin, your best friend, and so you weren’t at all that surprised by his response.

“Let’s go get some flashcards.”

﹍﹎ ﹍﹎ ﹍﹎

It had been four days since the episode that had caused, what a good portion of your college-campus deemed as ‘flashcard frenzy,’ had dropped. The bookstore, nearby Wal-Marts and office supply chains were suddenly selling flashcards at an alarming rate, so much so that they moved displays of them to the front just for easy access. It was quite honestly the most hilarious phenomenon you had ever witnessed. Too bad you had yet to try the study tip.

Your test was already so close, and you didn’t have time to play around with the idea. You needed to pass, you needed an A, you needed to set the goddamn curve, you apparently needed fucking Sugar between your legs. Christ, what was wrong with you? You didn’t even know the guy. Not his name, face, anything.

But beside that fact, your mind was coursing with stress and possibly every shred of knowledge you could have about anatomy without knowing the important details, and it was beginning to take its toll on you. You could barely keep your eyes open in your other classes today and not even Jimin coming by to cheer you up with food helped. But regardless of that you needed to at least try and study some more, which is why you were currently wandering the library in search of an open table. However, it somehow seemed that every person enrolled in your school had a test coming up because all of the tables were packed, not a spare seat in sight.

“Why, why, why?” You mumbled to yourself as you continued to pass table after table that held zero vacancies.

It was loud on the first floor of the library, as it was mostly used for group studying, or just people who disliked pure silence. You were the latter, unable to concentrate in the cold atmosphere where a sudden cough, or someone rummaging through their backpack could send your focus off the rails. You much preferred a constant stream of noise.

You made your way through the entirety of the first floor with no luck in finding a table to study at, and you were close to giving up and going to the on-campus Starbucks because it never failed to be noisy in there, but then in the corner of your eye you caught sight of a table with a free chair. You breathed a sigh of relief too soon however, because you quickly realized that there was someone sitting on the opposite side of the relatively tiny table compared to the rest in the library.

Normally you would’ve tried to search around a bit more, because you didn’t like feeling as if you were invading someone’s personal space, but knowing how packed out the building was, you knew this was as good as it was going to get. So you tentatively began your strides forward until you were approaching the table, the stranger’s hair hanging down over his eyes as he stared at a textbook.

You internally raised your pitch into a politer tone. “Uhm, hi. Is anyone sitting here?”

In hindsight, you probably should’ve known the second his beanie-clad head lifted, sending a sudden swirl of something hot to the pit of your stomach, that it was a pretty obvious sign that you were beyond fucked. His feline eyes met yours, seemingly cold at first glance, barely covered by his fringe from beneath his hat. You felt yourself gulp slightly, breath stalling just by a fraction as the question you had asked him approximately three seconds prior started to fade. So much so, that when he answered with a kind and polite, “no there isn’t, you can take it,” you kept standing and staring at him like an idiot before you registered the words moments later, and with ample amounts of clumsiness finally took the seat across from him.

“Thank you,” You mumbled, slightly embarrassed of your less than stealth gawking. You thought you even managed to catch an amused smile tracing the stranger’s lips as you snuck another glance, only causing another wave of heat to streamline its way to your face.

You tried to keep your head down as much as possible as you pulled your laptop, papers, and… flashcards, from you backpack, in order to cut down on the chances of accidently staring at your tablemate again. However, this proved more difficult than expected. Your eyes almost forcibly prying themselves from the mess of your studies to catch a glance at the way he was leaning his temple against the capped end of his pen. You found the gesture cute for some reason, especially as he began to tap it against his skin, presumably as he thought through whatever he was working on. Curiosity seized you further as you slid your sights downwards to the textbook sitting before the stranger. Even upside down you could tell that the cover read ‘Calculus’ in bold letters, with several equations that you had forgotten long ago in high school, branching out as a decoration of sorts.

Math, definitely not your strong suit. But really you weren’t sure if you even had what you could call a strong suit in any subject… Especially as you finally returned your eyes to your own belongings, the power points glaring off of your computer screen and a high stack of flash cards sitting so dauntingly before you.

You sighed deeply as you tried to further arrange your side of things on the small table, the reluctance to get started pitted its way deep into the recesses of your procrastination-geared brain. It was in this flurry of trying to figure out where you should even start, that you noticed the low-battery of your laptop. You quickly pulled out the charger from your backpack, already moving to lean underneath the table when you realized that the outlet was in fact right next to the boy in front of you. You paused, realizing that there was no way to get to it without asking him to plug it in for you. You had barely been able to ask for a seat without stuttering and staring like an idiot, so it looked to be time for round-two of making yourself look like a fool in front of unreasonably cute guys.

You inhaled, preparing your pitch to be a bit higher, “Hi, sorry to bother you again,” You began, voice drenched with that robotic politeness that people tended to reserve for strangers. He immediately looked up, one headphone hanging haphazardly out of his ear, and again you felt a slight stutter oncoming. Goddammit, why were his lips so pouty? His eyes so… smoldering? “But, uhm, do you think you could plug this in for me?” You managed to finish, motioning towards the charger in your hand.

His blank expression shifted into something softer. “Yeah, no problem,” He answered simply as he reached across the table to take the cord from your hand.

“Thank you,” You replied as he leaned down to plug the charger into the wall.

You were expecting a return to silence after the short exchange, already pulling your headphones out of the middle pocket of your hoodie in fact, but it was the sudden resurgence of his voice that had you pausing.

“What’re you stressing over?” He asked, his voice a bit louder, a bit clearer, and for some very odd reason a bit… familiar? You weren’t quite sure of why this was, but his tone felt almost nostalgic for some reason. It sent a flooded rush through your chest as he somehow managed to illicit a strange sense of comfort around you. “Only been here for like five minutes and you already seem sort of done with it, y’know?” He was smiling as he finished his question, and wow did that only make your throat run dryer.

You watched the way his lips curved to one side in a sly sort of smile. It was the type of smile that seemed implicative even when it was totally innocent, the sideways grin of confident curiosity pulling on the nerves hiding deep within your belly.

“Anatomy,” You finally answered after staring a bit too long again. “Yeah… I’m sort of fucked.” You decided to answer bluntly, because really there was no point in fronting when the overwhelming anxiety could be seen clearly on your face.

“Definitely been there.” His smile reached his eyes at this, the gums of his teeth peeking through, which almost instantly transformed his grin into something less innately cocky and more so candy sweet. “And I mean like actually been there. I was a biomed major before I switched to engineering.” He raised his textbook to show off the cover filled with various math equations.

“Oh my god, did you pass? —Fuck, sorry you don’t have to answer that.” The question passed your lips before you could process that it might be a bit rude. But he simply laughed in response to your sudden exclamation.

“No, you’re good. But yeah, I passed. With an ‘A’ actually — not to brag.”

Your mouth dropped. “Seriously? How the hell? It’s so much information.”

“Just… Proper study motivation,” He chuckled, and you weren’t sure of what he meant until you saw his eyes dart towards your flashcards. He had only looked at them for maybe half a second at most, and yet the action suddenly had a rush of heat climbing up the back of your neck. You could tell from the slight smirk marking his lips that he knew exactly what he had done, and it only made your face grow warmer. However, thankfully it didn’t seem as if he was expecting you to answer because he immediately changed the subject. “But really it’s not as hard as it seems. You just have to know how to compartmentalize everything, so it’s not so overwhelming.”

How the hell was he going to go from insinuating that you just needed some oral motivation to compartmentalization is key? But not that you were complaining… Especially if he was insulating himself.

However, you were still a bit flustered, so your response came out a bit stuttered. “Uhm y-yeah, easier said than done.”

He seemed to enjoy this reaction from you though. He bit at his lip slightly as he smiled, clearly in amusement form your response.

“My name’s Yoongi by the way,” He said suddenly, allowing you to turn your attention from his mouth and onto something that was appropriate.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, I’ll let you get back to studying.” After that the boy you now knew as Yoongi leaned slightly over the tiny table to get a better look at the page you were on. “Looks like you’re on the skull. Just a tip, focus on the foramen and the openings. She’s obsessed with questions about contents. I know it’s a lot easier to start studying when you have something to focus on.”

“Yeah that does actually help. Thank you.” You flashed him a quick smile before turning your eyes down to your textbook. You found yourself taking Yoongi’s advice, focusing first on the contents of the openings in the skull — too bad there were about ten million fucking openings in the goddamn skull. And it was after about thirty minutes of just trying to memorize them straight from the textbook that you realized it just wasn’t working. It looked like those flashcards were going to come in handy after all.

You felt yourself about to reach for them on the edge of the table, but then you remembered something, causing you to hesitate. It was the way Yoongi’s eyes had locked onto the flashcards with insinuation earlier that made a chill run down your spine. You wanted to reach for them, but for some reason you felt self-conscious… But maybe you were being silly? Maybe it had just been coincidence? And besides that, you honestly didn’t have time to waste with wondering. Your test was in two days, you needed to focus on anatomy and not the possible things that this boy you had spoken less than ten sentences to could do with his mouth.

After a few moments to collect yourself and continuing to revel in your dramatics, you finally reached for the pack of flashcards. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to Yoongi’s face as you did so in order to gauge his reaction. But to your surprise there wasn’t one. His eyes kept themselves trained onto the pages of his textbook. Because of this you felt rather silly. See it wasn’t a big deal, you had just made it one. You felt yourself relax into the chair once more as you began to pick at the plastic surrounding the cards until it finally opened. You pulled out a couple from the stack and then readied yourself to start writing out all of the contents that you needed to know.

However, it was the second glance you spared him as your pen hit the paper (because his attractiveness was an obvious distraction for you) that you saw his crooked grin once more. His eyes met yours, but this time he didn’t pull away, instead he kept you locked in. You felt your breath catch in your throat for a second, until you finally just lost it at how completely insane this entire situation was, since clearly it was no longer a secret that both of you knew what was running through the other’s mind. You released the tiniest of laughs and a playful roll of your eyes as you began to tap the end of your pen against the flashcard, still not breaking eye contact.

“Need help with something?” Yoongi asked with a flirty smile, not even trying to hide his motivations now.

You couldn’t help but scoff at the blatancy, even though you knew that it was affecting you in the exact way that he was intending it to. “Do you offer help to everyone that sits across from you at the library?” You felt yourself lean over the table as you said the words, and Yoongi seemed to follow your lead, leaving the smallest of spaces between the two of you.

“Not at all,” He replied, confidence dripping past his lips. “Just you, honestly. You’re someone that looks like they need help focusing, who happens to have an unopened pack of flashcards that they seemed to have purchased for a certain reason. But please tell me if I’m wrong or if you’re just not interested. If that’s the case, then I’ll be happy to help you study in whatever… mundane way that you want. I’ll even spot you a coffee.”

Your face must have distorted into something of absolute disbelief, because Yoongi suddenly couldn’t control his laughter, putting his cute, gummy-smile back on display. But eventually you reined your expression back in as you let the madness of what was being offered to you settle in.

“Hmm, free coffee or oral… Tough choice, honestly,” You whispered across the table so that anyone close by wouldn’t hear.

At this Yoongi propped his arm onto the table and rested his head against his palm. “Well, since I know that anatomy struggle, I could also spot you some coffee regardless.”

“Wow, you must really wanna go down on me?” You asked, amused, and he simply shrugged as if to say, you’re not wrong. “Why the interest?”

“Do I have to have a big reason?” He asked, letting his hand fall back onto the table. “You’re cute, you need help on a test for a class I��ve taken… I’m just offering a friendly service.” He never stopped grinning at you in that crooked sort of way that made you feel like you were in the corner of some house party instead of the library.

“That’s it? With those standards you should give head to half the girls on campus then.”

“Well, half the girls on campus didn’t sit in front of me with a pack of flashcards meant for something a little less than academic, now did they? Plus, you’ve just looked really cute sighing at your textbook for the past thirty minutes.”

“Thanks, dickhead,” You scoffed playfully. “Glad my suffering is cute to you.”

“It’s very cute,” He mused. “But how about this? You don’t actually have any flashcards done, but lucky for you I remember the contents of the skull, so I can quiz you anyways. Wanna do a practice round.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, but admittedly it piqued your interest. “Practice round? Don’t exactly think you’re brave enough to lay me out on this table and just go for it in the middle of the library.”

“Wanna see if that’s true?” He asked, a certain fire flaring across his eyes. It sent a swirl of arousal through your lower stomach, but you quickly pulled it back in.  

“Maybe another time. So what’s this practice round all about?”

Your question had him moving his chair closer to the table, in fact it had him moving as close as he possibly could, with his stomach now pressed completely against the wooden edge.

“I’m gonna ask you a question, and please feel free to say no, okay?” He whispered, once again leaning over the table.

“Okay,” You nodded with a bit of excitement.

You watched as Yoongi looked from side to side to make sure that there was no one close by. Everyone around you was a good enough distance away that they couldn’t hear what you were saying, and those that were walking past your table seemed to be doing so quickly enough that they wouldn’t be able to catch anything either.

“Can I touch you?” He finally asked, his whisper turning huskier.

Your eyes widened, lust building. “H-here?”

“No one will be able to see, promise. But if you don’t want to, that’s totally okay too.”

The thud of your heart was beating with a dangerous mix of nerves and exhilaration as the words settled between the two of you. “Like… Touch how?” You finally asked after a couple of seconds of mulling it over.

“Just over your pants. If you move your chair closer our knees will be touching. No way anyone will see anything.”

You sighed, smiling because you know that you really shouldn’t do this, but the answer has already been decided by the wetness between your thighs.

“Why’re you tempting me like this? I just met you. I don’t even know your last name, and I’m about to let you basically finger me in a goddamn library.”

“Would knowing my last name make you feel less guilty?” He chuckled.

“Maybe?”

“It’s Min. My major is audio engineering. I’m a senior, graduating in spring. Let’s see… I love rap music. I have a dog named Holly… Any other random facts you’d like to know?”

Somewhere in that rambling sentence of just listening to him speak about himself, your chair was already pushing itself closer to the edge of the table until your knees were clashing with Yoongi’s beneath it. “How about how fast you can make me cum?” You asked boldly, your hesitance turning to dust the second his hand found its way on top of your thigh.

“Wow, someone’s not as shy as they let on.” Yoongi tongued along the top of his teeth as he broke out into a grin. “Well, if we were talking normal circumstances I’d say quicker than you’d probably want, but since this is a game about what you know, then I can’t really say.”

“I literally met you an hour ago…” You trailed off, throwing your hands into your face to hide the embarrassment. “Gahh, I can’t believe I’m about to do this!”

“You know this is only making you cuter, right?” You heard him say, your face still covered. “But really, if you’re uncomfortable then we don’t have to.” You felt your hands suddenly being pulled from your face, and Yoongi appeared with a look of sincerity.

“No, that’s the thing. I really want to, even though I know I shouldn’t.” You sighed, dropping your head onto your textbook. “Why do you have to be so hot? It’s not fair.”

“Oh, so you’re just using me for my good looks then?”

“Don’t forget about your brain,” You said. After all you were only considering this because he had taken anatomy… Yeah, totally no other reason.

“Ah, glad my intellect hasn’t been overshadowed by the things you’re picturing my mouth and hands doing to you right now.” You bit at your lip to try and stifle the grin that threatened to split across your face, and Yoongi seemed highly amused with your failed attempt.

After that you let a few moments of silence settle between the two of you. You tapped your fingers across the wooden part of the table, heavy sighs of contemplation coming one after another. But Yoongi didn’t seem to be impatient at all. He simply continued to sit across from you, the slightest upward quirk laying at the corner of his mouth as he waited for your permission to start this game.

So finally, with one final sigh that rivaled all of those that came before it, you decided it was time to begin.

“Fine. First question.”

Yoongi’s grin splintered further at this. “You sure?”

“Yes. First question, please?”

“Okay,” He started, and then suddenly you felt the hand that had been resting on your knee for the better part of ten minutes began to move along the inside of your bare thigh. You thanked yourself heavily for wearing the loosest of jogging shorts today. “I’ll start off with an easy one.”

You simply nodded, too afraid that your voice would break if you tried to speak.

“Contents of the hypoglossal canal?” He asked the question as he leaned closer into the table, his eyes turning darker, more carnal.

“Hypoglossal nerve.” You answered quickly, breath stalling in your throat as his fingers pressed further into your skin.

“Good,” He whispered, something sweet in his voice. “But just relax, okay?”

His hand didn’t move, and you could tell it was because he was waiting for your limbs to lose some of their tension. You nodded, taking in a deep breath as you let yourself sink more freely into the chair, before reaching beneath the table to place your hand on top of Yoongi’s.

“My first reward, please?” You said, finally pushing any source of hesitance from your voice.

Yoongi’s grip tightened suddenly, his expression shifting. “Yes, ma’am,” He said, allowing his hand to finally roam.

Your resulted gasp was as silent as you could possibly manage. So deliberate, confident and precise, Yoongi felt his way slowly along the thinness of your shorts. He watched your expression carefully as he searched for the place that would make your blood run hot. He didn’t seem to be in a rush, however, just exploring at his leisure, taking in every twitch that he could illicit from you. But in the end, it was the timely flinch of your knee against his own beneath the table that tipped him off.

“Here?” He asked, smirking now that he had his thumb pressed against something that could cause you to scream out if he applied the proper stimulation. You nodded, bringing your hand up to rest your head against it, but also to have a quick way to muffle any noises that you couldn’t manage to subdue at any time during this… study session. “Okay, what number cranial nerve is that?” He asked, after finally pausing his movements, leaving his hand to rest against your hip with him thumb still snuggly pressed in place.

“Uh… t-twelve.”

“Correct.”

You watched as Yoongi let his other hand slip beneath the table until you felt it rest along the top of one of your knees. Thankfully he seemed to do this with purpose, because the second his thumb caressed along your center one more, your leg twitched, almost slamming itself into the top of the table if not for him applying pressure to keep it anchored to the ground.

“Sorry,” You breathed out in a rushed apology.

“You’re good,” He said as he continued to rub against your shorts. You could already feel the wetness beginning to cling to them, and there’s no doubt that Yoongi could feel it as well. “I’ve got you. Just focus on the answers, okay?”

“Okay.” You didn’t manage a response until he finally stilled, giving you a second to inhale the breath that you hadn’t realized was lodged statically in your throat.  

“Next question: contents of foramen rotundum?”

You actually knew this one as well, but it seemed that Yoongi was intentionally giving you the easy ones since it was highly apparent that you had only been half-studying this entire time, while the other had been completely focused on him.

“Maxillary nerve.”

His expression was stoic as he began his movements once more. You supposed that one of you needed to look that way. After all, you most certainly weren’t exactly doing a great job of being discreet. Your nails dug into the table, your bottom lip indented with the harsh tug of your teeth, your feet pawing at the carpet with each motion of Yoongi’s fingers.

However, even with all of this happening… It didn’t feel like enough. It already felt so nice through your shorts, so you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like without anything holding him back. Picturing each swipe of his finger over your bare clit was enough to have you biting at the palm of your hand.

“Next question?” He asked, relaxing his hand against you in order to relieve the pressure.

“Yes, but…” You trailed off, not entirely sure of how to ask for what you wanted.

“But? Do you want me to stop?” He sounded concerned, and you could already feel him starting to pull his hand away. But you quickly reached beneath the table, wrapping your hand around his wrist, keeping him in place.

“No, please don’t stop.” This sounded a bit whinier than you had intended, but Yoongi seemed to appreciate it greatly. His expression was smug, and for some reason you found that it made the entire experience more thrilling.

“Tell me what you want then.” His voice was deeper as he said this. And once you again you were consumed with this strange sense of familiarity it. But just as you had decided before, you couldn’t pinpoint it, and you were a bit too busy at the moment to dwell on it.

“Uhm, can I just show you?” You asked, in the tiniest of whispers, but with the way Yoongi’s eyes lit up with intrigue, you knew that he had heard you perfectly clear.

“I have a feeling I already know what it is, but just to save myself from being presumptuous…” He trailed off, and you felt his hand fall limp against your hip. “Show the way.” And so, with your hand still wrapped firmly around Yoongi’s wrist, you urged him further until his touch was guided inside the leg of your shorts, and well, he didn’t need much more direction after that, and your reaction perfectly showed that.

“Yoon—" You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth as Yoongi wasted no name pushing the barrier of your panties to the side, his touch spreading your abundant slickness around with ease. “I-I didn’t even answer the question yet.”

“It’s a freebie,” He grinned, letting his hand fall away slightly. “And seeing how wet you are I don’t think you exactly mind.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “You’d be correct.”

“Then let’s keep going. What cranial nerve is the maxillary nerve a branch of?”

“Uhm… what was that mnemonic again?” You asked, sliding further into your chair and by consequence (or reward) further into Yoongi’s grasp. “Oh, Oh, Oh, To Touch And Feel Velvet… or something… Olfactory, Optic, Oculomotor, Trochlear — Trigeminal! …Right?”

“It’s To Touch And Feel Very Good Velvet Ah Heaven. But yeah, that’s right,” He chuckled. “But I’ve always found that the one about To Touch And Feel A Girl’s Vagina Ah Heaven, is a lot easier to remember.”

You had never rolled your eyes so fiercely yet amusedly at the same time. “Jesus Christ, are you really making that joke when—” Suddenly the pad of his thumb was pressing down along your heat, the words dissipating on your tongue.

“You were saying?”

“P-prick.”

He shrugged. “Been called worse.”

“Oh, you’re saying someone who offers sexual services to random people they meet at the library has a bit of an edgy side? Shocking.”

“Quite edgy, actually.” You both managed a laugh at this, as his motions against your center had ceased. “Next question?”

“Yup.”

“Let’s see…” Yoongi trailed off, squinting his eyes as he pondered another question. It was in this moment of hesitation that you finally got another moment to just look at him. The way his feline eyes remained so calm as he searched for something to ask you. The fringe of his hair settling outside of his beanie. He looked so casual, as if he wasn’t sitting across from you with his hand down your pants.

“What, hotshot, out of questions already?”

“Looks like someone’s just eager for me to touch them again. See how productive this game can make you?” Yes, you most certainly could see it. In fact, your legs were already starting to twitch in anticipation for the question, which thankfully came soon after. “Contents of the foramen lacerum? Go.”

Shit. “Uhm…”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Yoongi’s expression turned smug, his hand suddenly pulling itself from your shorts, making the most embarrassing of whines leave your throat.

“Next question?” You said, eagerness taking its grip around you.

“Contents of foramen ovale?” He asked this question with a smile, probably because he knew you had no idea.

“Would it be safe to say that, that’s as far as you got in your studies? Mind was too busy thinking about… other things the entire time you’ve been here?”

“C’mon, you can’t just leave me like this.” Your voice was high-pitched and more on the pleading side, which normally would’ve stricken you with embarrassment, but thinking about his fingers on you again had your pride taking a temporary backseat.

“If I touched you even when you didn’t know the answer, then the game wouldn’t work, now would it?”

You pouted, brows furrowing, because of course you knew that he was right… but it didn’t mean you were happy about it. You let your head fall to land in your textbook, hoping that maybe you would just gain the information through osmosis instead. You heard Yoongi’s laughter ringing from above, and you simply grunted in annoyance as you turned to look at him.

“You’re mean.”

“Helping you study and fingering you is mean?”

“Okay, you’re like… a quarter mean.”

“Wow, I’d say three-fourths nice is a pretty good achievement.”

“Wouldn’t you rather be completely nice?” You asked, a bit of hope.

“That’s no fun,” He smirked. You groaned at this, burying your face further into the textbook. What the hell were you supposed to do now? Thankfully you weren’t spiraling in this self-pity for long, however, before Yoongi proposed something. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“What?” You asked, clearly confused as you lifted your head to face him. “Where are you trying to go?”

“I offered coffee, remember?” He was already standing up, shoving his things into his backpack. “And I’m going to help you actually study. No distractions… Well, not until you’re ready to be quizzed again at least.”

“Really? You’ll help me?”

His brows furrowed as he managed a laugh. “What do you think I’ve been doing this entire time?”

“I meant in a way that wasn’t… sexual,” You whispered up at him.

“Yes, I promise. The tables at the coffee shop aren’t nearly as spaced out as these. But if you’d like to try, I’m—”

“I’m good,” You giggled, standing up to playfully bat him across the chest. “Seriously though, thanks for doing this… All of this, I guess.” You could feel your face heating up, which you then thought was rather silly considering everything that just happened between the two of you in such a short span of time.

“Don’t thank me until you’ve passed.” Yoongi rounded the table to join you on the other side. His smile was warm as he pressed his hand into your lower back, ushering you to follow in his stride. “But c’mon, time for you to learn what’s in that pretty head of yours.”

﹍﹎ ﹍﹎ ﹍﹎

“Why are there so many goddamn openings in our heads with so much shit running through all of them?”

“Makes us the high-functioning organisms that we are, so we can in fact question why we have so many goddamn openings in our heads with so much shit running through them.”

You sighed. “Do you have to be so… Level-headed? Can’t you mope with me?”

“Moping is for people who don’t know the contents of the foramen lacerum. Which I do, and you don’t, so my side of the table is unfortunately a no moping zone.” Yoongi simply smiled at your annoyed squint and the pout of your lip. “C’mon, keep studying.”

“Fine,” You sighed, exasperated, as you returned to making your flashcards.

Yoongi ended up taking you to a café located across the street from your campus. It was one that you had never actually been to before, but it was nice, nonetheless. The wooden interior gave it a quaint and homey vibe that allowed you to feel a bit more at ease. Paintings and tapestries hung along the walls, all while the smell of coffee and freshly baked pastries wafted through the air.

The two of you had been here for only twenty minutes or so, but Yoongi was already pestering you to focus. Normally these pressures from friends or others wouldn’t do anything to help tighten your attention span, but a certain promise from Yoongi involving another round of ‘quizzing’ you tomorrow at his apartment helped to fuel your desire to absorb all of this information as quickly as possible. However, even with this newfound motivation, you couldn’t help yourself from taking little breaks here or there. Every couple of minutes or so after searing a new fact into your mind, you would allow yourself a moment to glance at Yoongi, who had also returned to studying.  

You watched the way he bit his bottom lip in concentration as he studied the pages. His fingers skimmed down the textbook as he followed along in order to work through the problem that he had started in his notebook. It was quite amusing actually, seeing him so serious after he had been so playful and teasing earlier. You weren’t sure how long you went on like this, just studying his face as a means of distraction. But it seemed that Yoongi was more perceptive of your actions than you realized because he was suddenly locking eyes with you, a knowing look shining off of them.

“Like something you see?”

“Let’s not pretend like you don’t already know that.”

“How could I not?” He asked, an amused smile playing on his lips. “You’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes instead of studying. You know the game isn’t gonna go much better than last time if you still don’t know anything.”

You groaned at this, only because you knew he was right of course. “I know, I know—” You started to say, but fell off when your waitress suddenly appeared next to your table, coffees in hand.

“So sorry for the wait,” She said, placing the steaming cups down in front of you.

“No, you’re fine,” You assured her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Please let me know if you guys need anything else.”

You nodded, and then watched as she went to tend to her other tables.

“Think you’ll be able to focus now?” Yoongi asked once you turned your attention back to him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry that I’m being like this,” You said, bringing your coffee up to your lips to blow cooling breaths over it. “I’m usually a lot better focused.”

“No, you’re fine. Sometimes when you know you have a ton of shit to learn, your brain just shuts off before it even has to start.”

“Exactly,” You said before taking a sip of your coffee. “—Gah, bitter.” Your face scrunched up at the unexpected taste, and Yoongi simply laughed at your misery.

“Bitter’s best,” He said, following your lead and taking a sip but seeming to enjoy it a great deal more.

“You’re crazy,” You said as you reached for the packets of sugar sitting on your table. “Sugar?” You asked, offering a packet to him. It was a simple enough gesture, but you watched as his eyes widened suddenly, and he choked on his drink, causing coffee to spill down the sides of his mouth “Oh my god, are you okay?” You reached across the table to pat him on the shoulder, waiting for his coughing to calm.

“Yeah, I’m good,” He said, but he was still coughing a bit.

“Geez, don’t die on me now,” You joked as you grabbed a few napkins to give to him. “You’re my motivator. Can’t have you choking to death.”

After wiping at the coffee that had spilled, he seemed to return to normal. A cheeky smile plastered across his face as he returned his sights to you, eyes shining playfully. “Glad that my body is so… motivating for you.”

“Very,” You said, deciding to indulge him. “But if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to studying now.”

“Oh, now you wanna study?”

“Gotta be ready for round two of my study session with you tomorrow, right? And who knows, maybe I’ll even help you out.” You shot Yoongi a playful wink before returning your attentions back down to your textbook, but not before seeing the intrigue flash across his eyes. “If you’re interested that is,” You said as you began to thumb along the pages.

“Quite interested,” You heard him whisper, a smile clearly heard in his voice.

﹍﹎ ﹍﹎ ﹍﹎

“Fuck okay, what else…” Yoongi trailed off as he kissed his way down the inside of your thigh, sweat dripping down his temple, anticipation for his return to your swollen heat keeping you perfectly paralyzed against his bed sheets. “Contents of the foramen spinosum?”

“Middle meningeal artery and vein, and uhm… the middle meningeal branch of the mandibular nerve.”

You sighed in relief, thankful that you weren’t going to be denied as you had a few times already since this session had begun. You had spent the entirety of yesterday studying and preparing and cramming as much information as you possibly could into your head, so that when you woke the next day and drove to the address that Yoongi had texted you once the two of you had parted ways at the coffee shop, you would be ready for anything that he threw your way. However, still you had already encountered a few inquiries from your stack of flashcards placed carefully next to the two of you, that had slipped your mind. But even with that being said, you were still much more knowledgeable than yesterday, meaning you were being rewarded much, much more.

“Ngh!” Yoongi gave you no warning as he pressed forward, his lips wrapping around and finding their way to your clit with ease. This had already been going on for some time, the slow and steady build of your orgasm rising and rising with each question, only for its fire to be extinguished every time Yoongi pulled away. And this time was certainly no exception as your fingers tugged through his hair as he receded from your center, arousal dripping from his slyly poised lips.

“Mad?” He teased, one hand gliding down your calf as the other grabbed for a flashcard.

“Not mad,” You huffed. “Just frustrated. I could’ve came like twenty minutes ago if you would just keep going.”

“I’m aware,” He chuckled as he leaned over to kiss you. “But if I just let you cum then you wouldn’t have much of an incentive to get the answer right. For example, I bet you’re not gonna forget the contents of the foramen lacerum now that you didn’t get what you want for not knowing it?”

He tilted his head at you in a way that told you to show him that he was right. You rolled your eyes, pouting, but with the correct answer already bubbling to the surface. “Internal carotid artery and internal carotid nerve plexus. Happy?”

“Yeah, and you should be too,” He whispered, nipping at the side of you neck, consequently pulling a sharp inhale towards your lungs. “You got it right. And what happens in this game when you get things right?” You watched his eyes turn dark as he made his way back down your body, head resting between your legs.

“Oh, g-god,” You stuttered, head collapsing back against the bed as Yoongi’s tongue began to caress against your wetness once more. “Just a little bit longer than the other ones, please?” You sounded high-pitched and wrecked, and it was for this reason that he seemed to oblige you. The usual couple of seconds that he had been giving you this entire time for a correct answer turned longer, more deliberate and concentrated as you began to ride your hips against his face. The breath rattled from your throat as you urged him forward by his hair, his satisfied groans making the building pressure in your stomach flare wildly. “I — Yoongi, I’m—” Your words sounded strangled as the pleasure made it difficult for you to string together a coherent sentence. But much to your dismay, that ability was returned to you all too quickly as Yoongi broke away.

“Better?”

You shook your head from side to side. “You don’t understand how close I am.”

“Trust me, I know.” He felt his way down your thighs as if to comfort you a bit, but you didn’t miss the look of pure amusement on his face as he did so.

“Just ask me another damn question.”

He simply grinned to himself as he grabbed for another flashcard. “Contents of the internal acoustic meatus?”

“Internal acoustic meatus? Okay that’s cranial nerve… seven?” You looked up at Yoongi for confirmation who gave you a small nod, but gave a motion to let you know that there was more. “Fuck, what is it? Cranial nerve seven…” You trailed off, bringing your hands up to your temples to try and knead the information out of the recesses of your brain.

“Ah, too bad. Looks like that one’s a bust.”

“Wait!” You exclaimed, grabbing Yoongi’s wrist before he could place the card in the pile of ones that you had gotten wrong. Which to your credit, honestly wasn’t many. But it still pained you seeing a tangible version of all that you could’ve had. “Just give me a second. Internal acoustic meatus: cranial nerve seven… and eight?” You paused, looking to Yoongi for confirmation, which he gave.

“Still one more.”

“One more?” You huffed in defeat because you were perfectly aware that you didn’t know it. “Fuck, whatever, just tell me.”

“Labrynthine artery.”

“What a stupid fucking name for an artery.”

Yoongi snorted in amusement at your clearly escalating frustrations. “Could be said for a lot of medical terminologies,” He said, setting the card down onto the bed. “Probably why I couldn’t keep with it.”

“Yeah, who knows, maybe I’ll be an audio engineer with you next semester.”

“I certainly wouldn’t mind that. Then I’d be studying even when I’m the one doing the giving.”

You smiled. “Yeah, wouldn’t that work out perfectly.”

“Too bad we didn’t take this class together. I’m sure you’d have so much fun edging me.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, brows furrowing. “I’m still going to have fun edging you. You have a test coming up too, right?”

“Shit, maybe I should be nicer to you then.” You both laughed as he leaned over to place soft pecks against the center of your chest as if to smooth over everything. “Ready for the last one?”

“One condition,” You said, running your fingers through the locks of his hair.

“What’s that?” He whispered as he nosed along the side of your face.

“If I get it right then you can’t stop until I cum.”

His motions paused as he brought his head back to look at you. “Rules are you have to get them all. We still have to go through the stack of ones that you got wrong.” He said this, yet you could see the tiniest break in his resolve as he bit contemplatively at his lip.

“Fine, decide after the question — which I will be getting right.”

“Ah, love the confidence.” He leaned back, picking up the final card. “Well I’d hope that you’d get this one right. Contents of the posterior ethmoidal foramen?”

“Thank fuck,” You sighed, already shifting on the bed in anticipation. “Ethmoidal artery, vein and nerve.”

“Correct.” You watched the way Yoongi’s lips tilted mischievously as he readied himself to position himself back between your legs, but before he could you cupped the side of his face, momentarily keeping him in place.

“Please?” You voice was barely that of a whisper, soft as you gave him one final, pleading glance. You could practically see his resolution fade into oblivion. His mouth parted slightly, pupils quaking as he stared back at you. You watched the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed his tenacity down, leaving room for your needs to settle in its place.

Yoongi’s eyes tore down your face, carving a certain animalistic aura into the air. Suddenly his lips were on yours, fiercer than any encounter that you had shared thus far. It made the fading ache in your belly return with full force. His hands pressed hot into your sides as you scratched your nails down his back, desire brimming from both of you until it spilled over in an almost primal craving for one another. Suddenly you felt yourself being flipped over, now straddling his thighs. The change in position was surprising but certainly welcomed. You could now see the way Yoongi’s bare chest flared with each and every breath, his eyes glimmering with lust that rivaled your own.

“C’mere,” He breathed, reaching up to cup your face, urging you back to him. Your tongue parted his lips, encouraging him to take more as the two of you seemingly couldn’t get close enough to each other. He gently teethed down the side of your jaw as your hips began to grind into his hardened cock that was pressing firmly through his pants.

“Fuck, I—” You tried to say.

“—Ride my face.”

Your eyes widened as Yoongi whispered the words against your mouth, the sudden thrill sending a new wave of yearning through your blood. “Really?” You finally responded, almost in disbelief.

“You did good today,” He said, bringing you in for a brief kiss. “Wanna let you cum.”

You felt your skin shiver as the words fanned across your lips.

“Fuck, yes,” Was all you could manage before you were sitting up and placing your knees on either side of Yoongi’s face.

You watched the way he stared up at your dripping heat, hunger lining his eyes as a shaky breath left his chest. “C’mere, baby,” He sighed as his hands found their way to your hips and wasted no time pulling them down to connect his mouth to your wetness.

“Ngh — Yoongi!” You yelled out before you could stop yourself, hands clamoring for balance against the headboard as Yoongi already had his tongue circling your clit. His hands kept you steady, however, his fingers dug into your hips as he urged you to rock against his face. “You’re so g-good.”

The praise had Yoongi groaning and loosening his hold on you. When you tilted your head to the side, you found that he was pushing his pants and boxers down his thighs. His cock was swollen and red as it slapped back against his stomach, and your breath was ragged as you watched him wrap his hand around himself, thumb sliding against the tip.

Seeing him pleasure himself as he relentlessly attended to your aching center made a burning hotness clamor inside of you. Suddenly you were reaching back, curling your fingers around his member so you could take over for him. You felt his breathy sigh against your heat as you began to pump his length. His hand fell on top of yours, tightening your grip to show you the pressure and motion that he liked. “F-fuck, yeah, just like that,” He stuttered once you got it, his hands returning to your hips, guiding you as he rode you along the flat of his tongue.

And you both just kept going like this, basking in the pleasure as your highs were brought closer and closer to their end. Though for you, since you had been on the brink of your orgasm for some time now, it started building much quicker than you had anticipated, now that Yoongi wasn’t holding back.

You felt your stomach start to tighten as the pressure readied itself to snap. Your breath seemingly caught in your throat as the hand not occupied with Yoongi’s cock, reached down to thread itself into his hair.

“Gonna c-cum,” You whispered, voice breaking to pieces as he painted slow but perfect strokes of his tongue against your center.

The sudden release of your high splintered throughout your body, sending shivers down your thighs. You released your grip on Yoongi’s cock as you fell forward, taking hold of the headboard once more to steady your shaking limbs. He didn’t seem to mind, however. He simply picked up where you left off, stroking himself along, all while he continued to lap victoriously at his accomplishments as it ran down your thighs, not stopping until you were pushing him away with overstimulation.

You peered down between your legs, meeting his gaze. It sent another crash of lust through you, staring at his swollen lips and his pupils blown out so wide. You watched as he hissed in pleasure beneath you, and you turned slightly to see that he was still stroking himself along. You were going to offer to finish him, but before you could find the energy to even say the words he was already offering his own resolution.

“Can I cum on your back?” He asked, voice raspy. “Feel free to say no—”

“—Yes.”

You were already moving down, straddling his stomach as you tilted your head to see him start to thrust into his fist. Your brows furrowed, mouth falling slack as you watched him milk himself towards his orgasm much more vigorously now that he had your permission. But the lowly grunts that you could hear beginning to build in his throat made you turn to face him once again. Your breath stuttered in your lungs as you took in the way his neck was bared back, messy bed-head fanning out across the pillow.

“Yeah, keep looking at me,” He hissed out between clenched teeth, his grip finding its way onto your thigh for something to hold onto. Your hand found his way on top of his, squeezing as you felt his stomach start to tense up beneath you as he got closer to reaching his end. “Fuck, Y/N.”

He didn’t last much longer after that, and you marveled as his face contorted in pleasure upon finding his release. It was in that same moment that you gasped at the feeling of his cum suddenly hitting the center of your back. You shivered at the feeling, glancing down to see the heavy rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest as the warmth of his release began to dribble down your skin.

“Here,” Yoongi huffed, guiding you to lay on your stomach next to him. “I’ll get a towel.”

You simply nodded at him before collapsing your head against the bed, mind hazy and exhausted. You honestly could’ve fallen asleep right there, shrouded in the scent of yours and Yoongi’s time together. It was nice for some reason, peaceful even. And this strange feeling only grew further as you felt Yoongi wipe the towel against your back, erasing the path of his seed.

“Thanks,” You mumbled.

“No problem,” He replied after setting the towel down and running his palm down your newly cleaned skin. “Got a bit ahead of ourselves, didn’t we?”

“Happy we did. I needed that.” You smiled, rolling over to cuddle into his side.

“Glad I could be of some assistance,” He chuckled.

You both just laid like that for a while, not saying anything specific, just pointless rambling. But again, it just felt nice. You watched the way his gums appeared anytime he found something particularly endearing, and the way his lips would droop at the corners anytime it wasn’t his turn to speak. You found that there were a lot of things to notice about Min Yoongi in those moments of just laying next to him, allowing your mind not to be shadowed by the stresses of—

“My test,” You groaned as you sat up, because the shadow returned almost as quickly as you had pushed it away, and now it was clouding your mind with guilt of wasting such precious study time. “I gotta go.”

You watched the corners of his mouth transform into a pout as you got off of the bed to pull on your clothes that were scattered across the floor. Once you were finally dressed, he joined your side, trusty flashcards in hand.

“You know all of these. You’re gonna do great.” He said, pressing them into your hand.

You smiled, the gesture making something kick wildly in your chest. “Thanks, Yoongi.”

“Let me know how the test goes tomorrow, okay?” He said as he led you to the doorway.

“If it goes well I’ll let you know. If you don’t hear from me it’s because I’m contemplating becoming an audio engineer.”

Yoongi split into a grin as he backed you up against the wall next to the door. “Well, I’d certainly be okay with helping you study for those classes as well.” And then he was kissing you, the gentlest kiss that the two of you had shared, in fact. It was brief, nothing extra, just the soft press of his lips against yours before he was pulling away.

“Are you secretly hoping I fail now?” You asked jokingly as you reached up to toy with a strand of his hair that was sticking up.

“I would never,” He chuckled as he softly thumbed along your jaw.

The motion felt oddly… right. As if he had done that to you a thousand times. Those types of thoughts were dangerous of course, so you pushed it into a dusty corner of your mind as soon as you registered it. Plus, you had the feeling that if you dwelled in his apartment any longer things would escalate once again, and you still had a ton of things to study for.

“Well, I gotta get outta here,” You said after a few moments.

He seemed to sigh in what you could only describe as disappointment, which admittedly made you feel a bit giddy.

“Okay,” He said, reaching to open the door for you. “Really though, let me know how it goes, yeah?”

“I will,” You smiled, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips before stepping over the threshold. “Bye, Yoongi.”

﹍﹎ ﹍﹎ ﹍﹎

“Finally,” You huffed to yourself as you made your way into your room, wasting no time in throwing your things to the side and laying out face first on your bed. With relief and comfort now wrapped around you, you pulled your phone from your pocket, allowing yourself to just enjoy some leisure time now that you didn’t have any tests looming over your head.

It had been two days since your study session with Yoongi and one day since your test. Yesterday after you got home from anatomy, you sent a very brief text to Yoongi, telling him that you thought the test had gone okay, before immediately knocking out and not waking up until you had to leave for class this morning. Since then you guys had been texting casually, nothing too serious, just some heavy flirtation as you tried to distract yourself from checking to see if your grade had been posted every five minutes.

However, it was as if fate knew that needed something more to keep you occupied, because as you were continuing to casually scroll through your phone, a certain notification appeared across the screen: mixtape episode 9 has just been released

“Yes!” You said aloud as you quickly reached for your backpack to retrieve your headphones. Wasting no time, you shoved them into your ears as you pressed down on the notification to take you straight to the episode. The familiar opening danced through your headphones almost immediately.  

“Hello, welcome back to mixtape!” Jay began as enthusiastic as always. “We have a very exciting topic today. Sugar, would you like to remind everyone what it is?”

You heard a heavy sigh filter through the mic. And in hindsight, you should have realized right in that first heady breath why it was so exhilarating, but you decided to let the strangeness linger in the recesses of your head.  

“Today’s topic is…” He trailed off, letting a moment of silence fall between them. “Oh, you’re not gonna interrupt today?” Sugar asked, surprised.

“What can I say? I’ve changed my ways.”

“Uhuh, whatever you say, champ.” Clearly, he was skeptical. “But anyways, today’s topic is—”

“—Sex!”

“Jesus,” You heard him whisper to himself, but you could somehow tell that it was in amusement rather than annoyance. “Why’re you like this?”

“What you get for not believing me,” Jay replied. “But anyways, since no one wants to hear us argue, let’s start with… I don’t know, where do you want to start?”

“Probably the protection part,” Sugar offered.

“Oh yeah. Well, I’m sure you all know this but there’s condoms all over campus. They’re literally free, so there’s like no excuse.”

“They’re at the health center, the gym. Take advantage of all that shit your tuition’s going to, people.”

“Yeah, trust me, you don’t wanna be in that rapid STD testing line at the end of the semester. It’s the most nerve-wracking, suffocating room that you’ll ever be in.”

“Well, you should still get tested every once in a while anyways. But yeah, if you don’t wanna feel like you’re gonna vomit on the floor while you wait, then yeah.”

“You would know,” Jay giggled across the mic.

“This is true,” Sugar admitted. “Freshman mistakes, my friends. But guess who always has a condom on them now?”

“Good to know.”

“But anyways, now that we’ve got that PSA out of the way.”

“Yup, protection, protection, protection,” Jay rattled off the mantra. “Okay, I have something to ask, because I’m genuinely curious since I don’t think we’ve ever talked about this.”

“Oh god, now I’m nervous,” Sugar chuckled, and once you again you felt this strange wave of something wash over you.

You weren’t even sure what the actual feeling itself was. Unease? No, that wasn’t right. Maybe nerves? Maybe you were just projecting your anxiety about your test onto everything. Yeah, maybe that was it.

“Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” Jay asked, which most certainly caused your attention to be turned back to the podcast.

“Hm,” Sugar hummed as he seemed to ponder the question. “Honestly, I don’t think I have one. Maybe it makes me boring, but I much prefer not being in positions where someone can get a snapshot of my bare ass out in public… Or get arrested for that matter — you know all about that, right, Jay?”

“Really?” Jay scoffed. “You’re gonna bring that up? And for the record, me and that girl were not arrested. We were almost arrested.”

“Because that makes it so much better?”

“I mean in the eyes of the future employers that I’ll be filling job applications out for, yeah.”

“True, but I guess we should explain what the hell we’re even talking about,” Sugar proposed, before continuing. “Basically, Jay here, met a girl at some party that his frat was throwing, and they decided that it would be fun to have sex outside near the bushes and trees, where literally anyone could pass by, which ended up including the cops.”

“Okay first of all,” Jay started, and you could hear him shifting in his seat. “She was the one who said she wanted to have sex in nature or some shit, and obviously I was like what the fuck at first, so I tried telling her how my bedframe was made of wood and wasn’t that nature-y enough, and she said no that wasn’t good enough, and so I just…”

“You just what?” Sugar asked, clearly trying to control his laughter.

“Fine, I’m weak as hell so I agreed, and then we got caught by the cops and ran for our fucking lives, half naked across campus.”

“Riveting.”

“Fuck off.”

“Hey, you expose me on here all the time, had to get a little payback.”

“I guess,” Jay sighed, accepting Sugar’s reasoning.

After that the two men delved into numerous topics involving college sex life. From flippant things such as unrealistic movie portrayals, to all important topics like consent. If was always fascinating to just listen to them speak about things so openly. It let you just forget about stresses for the thirty odd minutes that they spoke for every week. But eventually the conversation did start to wind down, eventually breaking off into tangents here and there. But as you had said before, you didn’t mind this. It was actually really nice to hear how well they riffed off of one another.

And it was at this point, where their talk turned more natural… that the underlying feeling of that certain something returned. It was just something about the way Sugar’s breath hit the mic or the way his laughter bounced through your earbuds. It had always affected you to some degree since you had developed somewhat of an infatuation towards this man with an alias so sweet. But there was something different about this time, something more intense drawing you in.

“Okay, we’re getting to that point where we’re completely off topic, so I guess we should stop here,” Sugar said after he and Jay finished a mini-debate on what the best X-Men superpower was.

“You’re just saying that because you know I’m right, and that Mystique has the best superpower, but whatever.”

“It’s definitely being a telepath, but I’ll let you continue on in this wrong way of life that you’ve chosen to follow.”

“Whatever,” Jay sighed. “But yeah, any closing comments, Sugar?”

“Uhm, not really…” He trailed off, and there was a momentary pause that caused the podcast to have a beat of silence that wasn’t often heard. It made your brows furrow as you waited for him to continue, his slow and steady breath suddenly returning to the microphone, leading a chill down your spine in its wake before he continued. “Just… Just good luck to everyone on their tests and stuff this week,” He paused once more. “…Anatomy or whatever.”

That was when it clicked for you of course, when he had to so obviously spell it out.

“I — are you fucking kidding me!?” You yelled as you ripped your headphones out. Your heart was thundering violently against your chest as everything started to replay itself inside of your head. The breaths, the laughter, the words, the voice. That strange familiarity that you had written off as nothing at the library when you had first heard him speak. The weird vibe that you just couldn’t shake when the podcast started and his breathy sigh sounded so much more lively than it ever had before.

Suddenly that something emotion that you hadn’t been able to pinpoint as it pressed against your chest dissolved. That airy warmth that had been bubbling in the pit of your stomach every time that he had laughed this episode, it was all replaced by you feeling like a complete idiot for not realizing something so obvious that had been right in front of your face and literally playing through your ears.  

Before you knew it, you were out of bed, car keys already being grabbed off of your dresser. “This kid,” You whispered, a grin plastered across your face.

Your fist came down on the door, some sort of adrenaline running through you as you waited for him to answer. How could you not have seen it? —Or perhaps heard was a more accurate term. But you weren’t mad that he hadn’t told you even though he clearly knew that you were a fan of mixtape. You were simply stunned that you hadn’t realized who he was sooner. You had heard his voice, laughter… everything, filter through your headphones a million times and yet you didn’t even notice when he was right in front of you.

And then suddenly he was again. The door opened, and there he was, not seeming surprised in the slightest to see you.

“Y/N,” Yoongi started, smiling as he pulled you inside his apartment. “You… heard I’m assuming?”

“Hm, I don’t know, should I call you Yoongi or Sugar from now on?” You asked, bringing your hand up to your chin to convey some playful uncertainty.

He chuckled, leaning down to press his forehead to yours. “You can call me whatever you want.” And then he was kissing you, pressing you into the wall just as he had done a few days prior, his smile pressing firmly into your lips. You giggled, making the interaction a jumbled, laughter-infused mess before you finally broke away.

“Wow, this is so weird,” You said as you circled your arms around Yoongi’s neck while he did the same to your waist. “I listen to you every week. How the hell couldn’t I tell that it was you?”

“Sometimes it’s hard to match a voice to a face when you’re only used to just being able to hear it.” He shrugged as if it were the most casual thing in the world. But really, it wasn’t the biggest deal. It was just… wild, for lack of a better word.

“Yeah, clearly.”

“You’re not mad, right?” He asked. “That I knew you listened to mixtape but still didn’t tell you who I was?”

“No, not at all,” You said, shaking your head. “You just met me. I wouldn’t expect you to just go and reveal one of your biggest secrets like that.”

He seemed relieved at that. “Good, I just thought you might be mad at me or something.”

“Promise I’m not mad at all,” You said, giving him a quick peck for good measure. “But really, you did only just meet me, so why’d you let me know that it was you?”

After all, Yoongi could have just kept this information to himself, and you never would have known. Sure, you felt that Sugar had sounded a bit more familiar while listening to the new episode earlier, but if not for him sliding that comment about your anatomy test into it, you probably never would’ve figured it out that he was Yoongi.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” He said, looking genuinely unsure of his reasoning. “I just had a really good time with you the past few days. And you know, even if it’s just as friends, I’d still like to hang out with you a lot after this. Everyone close to me knows that I’m Sugar from mixtape, so it just… felt right to tell you, even though we haven’t known each other that long. Is that weird?” He laughed, and you could see the slight flush of color that was congregating on his cheeks as he said it.

“No, it’s not weird at all. I liked hanging out with you a lot, even when we weren’t… You know…” You trailed off, hiding your face in his shoulder.

“Same,” He said simply, making you both laugh.

“For someone who’s on a podcast you’re not very good at expressing yourself.”

“Well, why do you think I’m the sarcastic asshole of the show?” He shrugged. “I’m not good at expressing myself.”

“I don’t know, you were pretty good just now. What was that bit you said about even if we’re just friends?” You asked, gaining a mischievous grin as his face flushed redder.

“You’re terrible,” He joked, scratching awkwardly at his jaw. “But I mean I guess I would like to hang out with you and not have to quiz you on the contents of the skull… On like a date, maybe?”

Again, you felt that flare of something warm and inviting vibrate throughout your chest.

“I… I would really like that, Yoongi.”

He smiled, sighing in relief at your answer. You had no idea why he thought even for a second that you would say no, but it was cute to see nonetheless. You were about to ask what sort of places he liked to go on dates, but before you could, the ping of your cell-phone interrupted. You pulled it from your pocket and when you saw the notification, your heart dropped about ten levels.

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, hands settling their way onto your shoulders as he clearly could see the shift in your expression.

“It says my anatomy test was graded.” You tried to swallow the dryness from your throat as you unlocked your phone and clicked on the notification, but you made sure to look away before it loaded, not sure if you were ready to see. “I feel like I’m gonna vomit.”

“Hey, hey,” Yoongi whispered. “Whatever you got, it’s gonna be all right. We’ll just study harder for the next test.”

“We?” You laughed, amused by his insinuation.

“Doesn’t have to be that kind of studying… But if you want.” He shrugged, grinning down at you as he did so. “Really though, it’ll be alright. Just see what you got, and we’ll go from there, yeah?”

You nodded, thankful for his encouragement as you breathed out a heavy sigh, trying to expel any negativity that was sitting stagnant inside of you. You were nervous, gripping your phone tightly for a few seconds before finally gaining the courage to look. You tilted your phone away from your chest, and right there on the screen, the percentage flashed back at you, causing you to nearly drop your phone to the ground in shock.

“Oh my god,” You whispered in disbelief as you continued to stare at it, as if to make sure that it wouldn’t disappear.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, eyes wide and nervous.

“N-nothing. I…” You paused for a second, the phrase catching in your throat a few times before you could finally get it out. “I set the curve.”

“What!?” Yoongi exclaimed, smile beaming.

“I set the fucking curve! I got a hundred!” You screamed jumping up and down, your excitement impossible to contain as you began yanking Yoongi’s shirt along with you. “I can’t believe this!”

“I was literally sweating, and it wasn’t even my test,” He sighed, almost in more relief than you had.

“Well, you did put a lot of effort into it.”

“Much effort, but nothing I didn’t thoroughly enjoy.” Yoongi grinned as he pulled you closer and began peppering his way down the side of your neck, prompting a flash of heat throughout your limbs.

“How about a celebration round then?” You whispered as your hands wandered down his shirt and all the way to the top of his jeans. You could hear the lowly growl building in his throat as he pressed further into your hand.

“Fuck, yes—”

But suddenly there was a loud knock that boomed against Yoongi’s door making you almost jump out of your skin.

“Yoongi!” The person on the other side yelled, voice loud and bombastic as it cut through the air.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Yoongi mumbled to himself.

“Who’s that—” You tried to ask, but before you could finish the stranger on the other side was already starting up again.

“Open up! I have an idea for next week’s episode!”

Your brow’s furrowed at this. “Episode?” You questioned aloud.

“Meet Hoseok,” Yoongi said with an almost tired sigh, motioning towards the door. “Or Jay as you probably know him better as.”

“Oh my god, that’s Jay?” You asked, clearly amused as he continued to bang on the door relentlessly. “Wow, thought that whole interrupting thing was just a played-up bit for the show,” You admitted.

“I wish it was played-up. Hoseok, interrupts every aspect of my life, not just podcast related things.”

“Interesting duo, you two.”

“Guess that’s why people like to hear us talk about nonsense,” Yoongi shrugged. “But I know how to get rid of him. Would you mind helping me?”

“Depends what it is,” You replied, interested to see what it was that he needed your assistance for.

“Well, it involves something… semi-sexual.” Your brows raised at this, intrigue growing higher. “Do you mind… hair pulling?”

Just the question itself had you fighting off the need to strip off your clothes. “N-not at all,” You managed to stutter.

Yoongi looked satisfied with this as he placed his hand along the back of your neck, palm flat as he threaded his fingers through your strands. You then watched as he brought his other hand down the front of your leggings, instantly having his fingers pressed ever so lightly against your slick heat. You weren’t really sure what the point of this was, or how it had anything to do with Hoseok, but it wasn’t as if you minded either. But then Hoseok was speaking again, as Yoongi knew that he would, you presumed.

“Your car’s out front. I know you’re in there, probably sleeping—”

You watched as Yoongi turned to face you, giving you the slightest of indications before you felt his hand tighten around your hair as he slid the warmth of his tongue along your neck in a way that had you keening. His palm that was still pressed to your center began to move, leaving your knees-weak. With all of this together you couldn’t help the moan that slipped past your lips, bouncing along the walls and most certainly through the door.

“Oh shit, my bad, dude,” Hoseok said, and suddenly his knocking stopped. “Catch you later.”

And it was that simple.

You felt Yoongi start to loosen his grip on your hair and pull his hand from your pants once Hoseok signaled his departure, but you quickly halted his motions, placing your hands on top of his before he could get too far. His eyes glimmered with something as you did so, a certain thrill seeming to electrify the air between the two of you.

“So about that condom that you always have on you?”

[arbitrarypoetry]

We’re All Adults Here

“…So then I said, ‘Oh, grow up, will you?’”

           Everyone laughed, and Adam did too, a second too late and maybe a touch too loud. He was standing just on the edge of the cluster of people in his living room, only half-able to hear the story the woman in the middle was telling. There was much more noise in the room than he was used to. On top of that, he was distracted. He kept glancing around his apartment, afraid he would find that he’d forgotten something that would give him away—but everything seemed to be in order.

           The coffee table, pushed to one side to make more room for the guests, was covered in tasteful magazines about things like wristwatches and boats, which he had quickly flipped through earlier that day to make sure they looked read. The walls held framed black-and-white photography and an ugly abstract painting that made him feel slightly queasy to look at, but that he thought seemed like what his mother might call a “conversation piece.” The floor was vacuumed. The shelves were neat. No sign of dirty laundry, stuffed animals, or comic books.

           You’re safe, he told himself. Nobody knows. They all think you’re just like them.

           Adam had spent days preparing for this party, weeks. He invited everyone from work, and, except for the crazy lady on the top floor, all the people who lived in his apartment building—the book they’d given him on successful adult life said that house parties were a great way to get to know people. He went out shopping for just the right kinds of snacks, struggling to steer the shopping cart around the aisles. He memorized small-talk conversation starters. He started to put up decorations, but then took them down, afraid that they would look childish.

           He was sure that he had done everything right. So why did he still feel so uncomfortable in his own home?

           Maybe part of it was the fact that Brian Craig was here, strutting around with his big, puffed-out chest and impressive sweep of hair. He worked in the cubicle across from Adam, and maybe Adam was just being paranoid, but he had the strangest feeling that Brian had it in for him. It was little things, like the way he would loudly ask Adam what he was doing Friday night, and then smirk knowingly at whatever Adam told him. He made fun of the posters Adam had tacked to his cubicle walls for decoration, causing Adam to eventually take them all down, and he had this way of calling Adam “buddy” that made him feel foolish and small.

           Adam could see Brian across the room, looking around the apartment, taking everything in, almost as if he was searching for something wrong. They made eye contact. Brian smirked and raised his plastic cup. Adam felt a sudden fear that Brian knew, that he could see right through him, that he was just waiting for a chance to expose everything—but no. That was impossible.

Trying to shake the thought out of his mind, Adam looked away and adjusted his choking tie, feeling a bit like a kid playing dress-up. A soda. That was what he needed. He turned to head to the kitchen, and promptly collided with a woman from the office, who spilled her own drink all over his shirt.

           “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she said, covering her mouth, eyes wide. She wore a dark blue, knee-length dress, and her hair was pulled back. Adam recognized her as the girl at the front desk, who always gave him a shy smile and looked away again quickly when he came in for work.

           Adam had frozen, but now he made himself laugh. “It’s okay,” he said, pulling the wet shirt away from himself with two fingers. “This stuff happens.” Some of the red liquid dripped on the carpet.

           She bit her lip, squeezing the cup in her hands. “Do you need me to… I don’t know, pay for dry cleaning?”

           “Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. We’re all adults here.” He flashed her what he hoped was a carefree smile and turned away, praying that she wouldn’t hear the lie in his voice.

           Sure, the rest of them were all adults. But he wasn’t. Not really.

           Something had gone wrong.

 ***

           “You know what the procedure entails, correct?” The doctor set down his clipboard and looked at Adam over the rims of his wire-framed glasses.

           Adam shifted in his uncomfortable seat. He knew he had learned this in school, but he was too nervous to remember any of the details. “It has something to do with my brain, right?”

           The doctor sighed and turned in his swivel chair, pulling a colorful chart down against the wall. “You are eighteen years old today,” he said, pointing to a spot near the middle of the chart. “That means that, in the legal sense, you are now an adult, and are expected to become independent and begin contributing to society. However, your brain doesn’t naturally finish maturing until you are about twenty-five.” He pointed to the bottom of the diagram. Next to the number 25 was a pink cartoon brain with eyes, a big smile, and a tiny graduation cap.  “This would put you at a disadvantage in the real world—however, we can’t simply have you wait until you feel as if you’re ready, either. So what’s the solution?”

           This much Adam could remember. “The procedure,” he said, sitting up straighter.

           “That’s right.” The doctor let go of the chart, letting it roll itself back up. “Rather than waiting and wasting valuable time, we will speed up your natural brain processes, enhancing your problem solving abilities, social skills, and so on. The procedure will also help give you the knowledge and confidence needed to begin accomplishing your new responsibilities, such as living in a place of your own, working a full-time job, and, ideally, finding a partner in the next few years or so.”

           Adam wished he could have a drink of water. His mouth was so dry. “All right,” he said. “Is that all?”

           “There is one more thing.” The doctor took off his glasses. “I am required to warn you,” he said, “that due to the altering properties of the procedure, you will not come out the same. You may feel like an entirely different person in some respects. But you will be a more confident, intelligent, and better-equipped person than you are now. Do you understand?”

           Adam swallowed. “Yes.” Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, he wondered if the procedure would make him braver, too, less prone to worry. He hoped so. “So when do we start?”

 ***

             Adam excused himself to his room to change his shirt, closing the door against the chattering noise of the party. After putting on a clean, dry shirt, he groaned and flopped down on the bed. “Just a few more hours,” he said, pulling a battered-looking stuffed dog out from under his pillow. Rupert had been his favorite stuffed animal growing up, and Adam had smuggled him out of his parents’ house along with his collection of comic books at the bottom of a box of clothes. He was pretty sure that a true adult wasn’t supposed to have such things, but he just couldn’t stand to have them repurposed and given away with all his other childhood belongings.

           “After everyone leaves,” he continued, “we can watch TV and eat sugary cereal and not have to deal with a single other conversation about housing prices or taxes. All right?” Rupert simply sat there, ears drooping over his scratched and dimming eyes, but Adam smiled. “Awesome. I can always count on you.”

           Remembering suddenly that he had a house-full of adults just outside his door, Adam put Rupert back on the bed and straightened his tie to head out again. How embarrassing it would be if someone had heard him!

           No. Not just embarrassing—disastrous, he told himself as he entered back into the crowd, closing the door behind him. No one could know that the procedure hadn’t worked. That he was the only one.

           He still remembered the feeling when he woke up from the procedure and realized that nothing had changed. He was supposed to have transformed, become a better, smarter, braver version of himself, someone ready for the challenges of the real world—but he was still exactly the same. His first thought was to tell them that something had gone wrong, there had been some mistake, but they were already bringing him to his new assigned apartment, giving him information about the job he would start in the morning, everything moving so, so fast, and he just… He couldn’t find the words. He didn’t know what would have happened if he had. The procedure had worked on every other person in the country; why hadn’t it worked on him? What was wrong with him?

           No, he couldn’t let anyone know. He just had to fake it. He had to keep everyone convinced that he knew exactly what he was doing.

           Stepping out into the fray again, he navigated around people as they chatted and sipped drinks, engrossed in each other’s companies. He made eye contact across the room with the woman who’d spilled her drink on him and smiled at her. She gave him a small smile back and looked away, cheeks flushing.

           Ducking into the kitchen, he helped himself to some of the cheese platter he’d set out and did his best to join a conversation some others were having about a popular dark and gritty show that all the critics agreed was the best thing on television right then. He nodded along with the discussion, hoping they wouldn’t be able to tell that he’d only seen the first episode and then had trouble sleeping for a week. He preferred the violence of cartoons, where even if someone got a hole blown straight through them, they were up and running again in the very next shot.

           After a while, the discussion about one particularly odd-ball character in the show led the conversation to the crazy old lady who lived on their top floor. “I saw her going through the trash once,” said one young man with a daringly stripy tie. “Honestly, I’m not sure why they let her stay here.”

           “I wonder… She seems pretty old. Do you think she was around before the procedure? Maybe that would explain her behavior.”

           “Nah, they implemented that at least eighty years ago. She can’t be that old.”

           “Still, they didn’t start requiring it until…”

           Adam knew the woman they were talking about. She was the first person he met when he first moved in, actually. She’d greeted him with a cheerful wave as they passed on the stairs, calling “Hello there, sonny boy!”, much louder than Adam thought adults were usually advised to speak. She had been wearing an oversized coat and two brightly patterned, clashing mismatched socks. Adam, still occupied with his anxiety about the procedure, had only given her a weak smile back, but she hadn’t seemed to mind. She kept climbing down the stairs, whistling to herself in an off-key way.

           As Adam tried to adjust to his new life, figuring out how to balance grocery shopping and laundry and work, among other things, too scared to ask any of the others living in his apartment building for help, he found himself noticing her a lot. Through his front window, he could see her out in the park, where she spent much of her time.

Once, she had been walking along the path in a usual way, then abruptly flapped her arms and chased a flock of pigeons, sending them up in a frenzied, feathered cloud. He couldn’t hear from where he stood, attempting to run the vacuum cleaner, but he thought she was laughing.

Another time, when he was struggling with his taxes, he saw her stop and pick a bunch of flowering weeds that everyone else had simply passed by; later, when he went out to get the mail, he found them sitting on the front steps in an old jam jar full of water. They got dumped into the trash the next day.

Nothing she did seemed particularly adult; at least, not compared to the people Adam met at work or on the bus. But she seemed happy. She interested Adam, and in a way, he wondered if he might have found a kindred spirit—he longed to talk to her, to tell her about the procedure, ask her what she thought. Somehow he felt that she would know what to say. But once he learned the opinion that everyone else in the apartment building seemed to have of her—that she was a crazy old nuisance, no one wanted to spend time with her—he decided that in the interest of fitting in, he should probably avoid her. That was why, even though it made him feel a little guilty, he hadn’t invited her along with everyone else in the building to his house party.

To continue this goal of fitting in, and hoping to squash down the feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach, he joined the conversation. “Did you see the time she went outside during that huge thunderstorm?” he asked, trying to sound funny, clever. “Where it was all dumping down, but she just stood there looking up into it and catching raindrops on her tongue? She looked like a soaked cat.”

One man laughed, and the others all shook their heads, frowning in resigned disapproval. “So impractical.” “Probably got sick.” “Not an efficient use of time at all.”

“People like her are the reason they started making the procedure mandatory,” said the man with the striped tie. “If people refuse to grow up, where will society be?”

Adam was just in the middle of nodding and agreeing when somebody called his name. “Adam!” He turned, still smiling agreeably, and felt his expression freeze on his face. Brian Craig stood in the kitchen doorway, practically filling it with his broad shoulders. In his hands he held a stuffed dog. Rupert. Brian raised the toy, one eyebrow cocked. “What’s this?”

Adam’s skin went cold. Don’t panic. Don’t panic! “What?” Adam said, forcing a laugh. “Where did that come from?”

“I found it in your room,” Brian said. “I was looking for the bathroom. But when I opened the door, I found this on the bed.” He raised Rupert higher, holding him by one frayed ear.

A few guests in the kitchen tittered nervously. More started gathering to see what was going on. Adam saw the woman from the reception desk peering in, questioning. Adam felt his mind reeling for excuses. “Wow. I just… That isn’t mine, obviously.” He chuckled painfully. “I mean, only a baby would still sleep with a stuffed animal, right?”

“That’s exactly what I was going to say,” Brian said. His mouth was tilted in the beginnings of a smirk.

“But I’m no baby,” Adam forged on, inwardly cringing at how juvenile the words sounded coming from his mouth. “I mean, I got the procedure just like everyone. He—it must have gotten mixed in with my stuff somehow when they delivered it. Crazy.”

“It was sitting on your bed, buddy.” Brian raised an eyebrow. The smirk grew more prominent.

“Yeah, see, I had been sorting through some of my stuff—you know, before everyone got here—and when I found that I was like what? Who put this kid toy in with all my, uh, jazz albums? So I took it out and I was trying to figure out what to do with it and I thought maybe I would give it away to some kid. Because, you know. It’s a kid’s toy.”

Brian turned Rupert over in his hands. “I don’t know, man,” he said. “This thing is pretty beat up.” He held Rupert in the air so everyone could get a good look. “I mean, check it out. What kid would want a junky old toy like this?” He laughed. Some of the guests looked uncomfortable. Others started laughing too, and the noise began to build in the small, cramped kitchen.

Adam’s face was hot. He couldn’t let them know. He’d worked so hard. He had to fix this. “You know what?” he said, and he snatched Rupert from Brian’s hand, fingers sinking into the worn fur. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. The only place this thing belongs is at the dump.” And then, without taking his eyes off Brian’s face, he took Rupert and tossed him down the garbage chute.

 ***

 Brian tried to continue giving him a hard time after that, but no one else seemed all that interested anymore; it was like they all wanted to pretend that the whole thing hadn’t happened. In the end, Brian only clapped Adam on the shoulder, painfully hard, and said “Nice move, buddy,” before ambling off to chat with his work friends in a corner, loudly discussing the stock market and laughing uproariously at jokes Adam couldn’t begin to understand. The woman from the front desk wouldn’t meet Adam’s eyes.

The rest of the party soon went back to normal, people chatting in their own little groups, laughter breaking out now and then, cracker crumbs falling and getting ground into the rug. Adam knew he should feel relieved that the disaster had been averted, and he tried to go back to mingling, being a good host, but his heart wasn’t in it. All he could think of was Rupert, all alone, plummeting through the cold metal pipes. He would land in the big communal dumpster, get smushed in with all the used tissues, apple cores, everyone else’s junk. Like he was junk.

Adam’s mom had given him Rupert when Adam was only four years old. He had taken that dog with him everywhere; ate with him, climbed trees with him, slept with him. His fur, as matted and worn as it had gotten over the years, still smelled like home.

“…Would love to, but with this economy…”

“…So I told him, look, if I…”

“…A perfect game, they just had to…”

The conversations swirled around Adam. He smiled, laughed, tried to focus, but he couldn’t seem to absorb anything that was said. His stomach hurt. His mind kept replaying the moment when he threw Rupert, the easy toss of his hand, over and over.

Stop it, he told himself. It was just a stupid stuffed animal. An adult wouldn’t be upset. An adult wouldn’t care.

Grab, toss. Grab, toss. The sick, empty feeling in the pit of his stomach hardened.

But I do.

 ***

 Adam was knee-deep in the dumpster, digging through the trash, tie loose around his neck. If people didn’t guess on their own why he had excused himself, he was sure Brian would give them some ideas, but Adam didn’t care anymore. He had to get Rupert back. He tore through the garbage. He wasn’t an adult, he wasn’t, he couldn’t keep pretending, he…

A voice from behind him. “Are you looking for this?”

Adam turned. Standing there in the alleyway was the old woman from the top floor. In her outstretched hand she held Rupert.

“Yes,” Adam said, embarrassment at being seen mingling with relief. “Yes, I am.” He half climbed, half fell out of the dumpster, then stood, a little hesitantly, and waited for her to move to give the toy back. She didn’t.

“It looked well-loved,” she said, rubbing one gnarled thumb over the dog’s head. “I wondered why someone would throw it away.” She peered up at him with quick, bright eyes behind thick glasses. A yellow scarf was tied like a headband around her white poof of hair.

“It was an accident,” Adam said. “A mistake.”

She cocked her head. “So was it a mistake or an accident?”

“Aren’t they the same?”

“Oh, I think they can be very different things.”

She sat down on a set of concrete steps to the left of the dumpster. The one good thing about this location was that it was away from the road, toward the back of the building, so no one could see them. A few straggly weeds grew from the cracks in the pavement. She gestured with the dog for Adam to sit down next to her. As he did, she asked “What’s its name?”

“Rupert.” The word came out before Adam could think about it.

“And what’s your name?”

“Adam.”

“Nice to meet you, Adam. I’m Daisy.” She shook his hand. Her grip was surprisingly strong. “There. Now that we’ve gotten to know each other, how about you tell me what’s going on.”

Adam thought of the crowd of adults in his apartment upstairs. “It’s a long story.”

She looked at him. Bright, piercing eyes. “Tell me.”

And then, it was like the dam that Adam had been building up for months finally broke. He told her everything—about the party, about Brian, about how homesick he got, about how badly he’d messed up his first load of laundry, everything right down to the procedure and how it hadn’t worked. It came pouring out; everything he’d been keeping to himself, trying to deal with it like an adult, trying to convince everyone that he was fine, he knew exactly what he was doing. It felt good to finally tell someone. He was so tired of pretending.

Daisy listened, un-interrupting, the whole way through. Only when Adam finally ran out of steam and slumped on the steps, feeling like he’d just run a marathon, did she speak. “So you say you don’t feel like an adult,” she said.

Adam shook his head. “Not even a little.”

“Well, what is an adult supposed to feel like, then?”

Adam hesitated. This felt like a trick question. “Well… They’re confident. And smart. They understand things way better than I can, and they always know what to do, and they don’t get all worried or scared. Like me.” Adam twisted his fingers together.

“And you figure this adult thing is how everyone else feels, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Adam drew his eyebrows together and glanced at her, tugging his tie further away from his neck. “Don’t they?”

Daisy stroked Rupert thoughtfully. “What would you say,” she said, as casually as if they were discussing the weather, “if I told you that the procedure doesn’t work on anyone?”

At first the words didn’t sink in. Adam stared at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. The procedure doesn’t work. On anyone, not just you.” She gave him a wry, crooked smile. “How does it feel to know that you’re not special?”

Adam frowned, still not understanding. It was like the information couldn’t process. “But… That can’t be right. It does work! Everyone knows that. Everyone else…”

“And how do you know what’s going in everyone else’s heads?”

“Well, they… I just…” Adam found he couldn’t answer.

Daisy chuckled, the wrinkles around her eyes growing even more pronounced. “It’s always the same,” she said. “Everyone thinks that everyone else knows what they’re doing, so they lie to fit in. Everyone’s pretending, and they all think that they’re the only one who’s faking it. Part of growing up is learning that it’s not just you.” She gave him a small whack on the arm. “There. I just gave you a head start.” With a brief, warm smile, she slid Rupert into Adam’s lap and stood up, joints popping.

Adam’s head was spinning. “Wait,” he said. “So… If what you’re saying is true… Does anyone ever figure out what they’re doing? Did you?”

She laughed, leaning back to crack the bones in her spine. “Oh, no. I don’t think anyone does completely. But it does get easier.” She picked up a plastic bag that Adam hadn’t noticed earlier. It was full of glass bottles, clear, green, and blue. “Just keep doing what needs getting done, and do it your way. Don’t worry too much about anyone else. You’ll grow, in your own time. There’s no magic pill.” She chuckled again. “That’s what it was in my day. A pill.” She turned and began walking to the front of the building, the bottles in her bag softly clinking.

Adam’s head was full with these new ideas—he still wasn’t sure yet if he believed any of it—but he still found room to be curious. “What are the bottles for?” he called after her.

“I’m going to hang them from the ceiling,” she called back, not bothering to look back at him. “I like the way the light hits the glass.”

She disappeared around the corner of the building. Adam sat on the steps, holding Rupert, turning things over in his mind. She was probably crazy, he knew. There was no reason why he should trust anything she said.

But what if she was right? What if there wasn’t anything wrong with him?

What if he wasn’t supposed to be someone different?

Adam looked down at the worn, threadbare dog in his hands. “We should probably go back up,” he said, thinking of all the people crowded in his apartment, talking about politics and house remodeling and the state of the weather. “It would be the grown-up thing to do.”

But he didn’t. Not right away. He knew he would have to at some point—he would have to fix his tie, tuck Rupert away, and step back into the adult world. But for right then, he stayed where he was, listening to the hum of the cars passing by on the street, the twittering of the birds from the telephone wire, the sounds of a world that seemed just a little less frightening than before.

[jeromesxreader16]

Such a Joker(28/?)

27

Masterlist

The past days have been full of drama and information being spit out of every one’s mouth. The toxic information that has caused me to do nothing but sit down and research this Pinewood Farms. My father, Alfred, and Bruce succeeded in getting Karen’s path to Blackgate turned around, but some man showed up and froze her. I didn’t believe it at first but them my father had explained the toxins that were sucked into his body to reanimate his cells and transform him to this Mr. Freeze. Poor Karen was frozen and then smashed. She did it to save them. She saved all of them, and for that I feel like I need to do something. Of course, concentrating on my studies, and having meetings with team “Free the City” (I think it’s cool) I do nothing other then sit at home and watch dumb black and white movies.

The whole gang sits in the office of Wayne Manor and we all examine the picture being passed around of the Philosopher. “I’ve seen him before I just know it!” I say grabbing my head from the nonstop pain of trying to remember. “He runs Arkham now.” My father says looking at me. The photo is passed around more, and again, and once again. When it rounds its course to me for the 5th time I stare at it for longer. “Arkham you said?” My father nods. I giggle and slam the paper down begging to type on my laptop. “What are you thinking?” Bruce asks with curiosity. “I worked as an intern with the GCPD right? I moved my way to working forensics as well. Now taking courses on phycology where else better to get a job? Huh? Say I’m a fresh graduate and need some real experience. Arkham patients could use someone like me to talk to. Plus, I could get down to the nitty gritty with Strange and- ““NO.” My father says while we all look at him. “Why? No one else is qualified to go. I could be there and on one would suspect a thing!” “Y/n I said no. we can find another way. I told you what happened to Karen! If you were to get caught with information something horrible would happen. End of discussion.” I slam my computer closed and stand to my feet. “I’m not a child. If I want to do this I will. Karen was an amazing shot to closing this book, and we lost her. She stepped in front of him willingly to save all of you! I’m not letting that go to waste. Now I’m doing this Jim! Whether you like it or not! I am not a child.”

Jim POV:

The words came out like daggers being thrown. Repeatedly it played in my head.  I am not a child. I am not a child. Jim remember what happened last time. She rebelled against you and everything fell. Don’t let it happen again! You can’t lose her again!

I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead as she exited the room. Bruce looks at me and opens his mouth but shuts in in a hurry. “Go on Bruce.” I say sitting back giving him permission to add to the situation. “I say if she is willing to go out and get this information then we let her. She is qualified and no one would suspect it. She doesn’t remember what happened right? Let this be a fresh start on the right foot for her.” “I just don’t want her to go down a path to where I lose her again. I was bad enough the first time. Being in Arkham might trigger something to remembering him, and she could fall bad into her washed state” “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. She's come this far and she’s gained trust from everyone back. He’s dead. Like you said before, Jerome was playing games with her. He made her do those things. Even if she does remember he is gone, he cannot manipulate her anymore. So please Jim I’m begging you as a friend of you and your daughter. Please let her try.” Bruce says with his hands linked together. I don't answer for minuets while sitting still. I take one deep breath and look around the room. Hopeful eyes scanning over my face. “Alright. She’s going.” I say and stand going to find y/n and tell her the news.

 I make my way around the house and find her sitting in the kitchen on her phone. “Come to ground me?” She says without looking up. “No. It was wrong of me to speak to you that way. I understand you want to do all you can to help and I am just too scared to let you go off and do that, but I am putting that aside and letting you go through with this plan of yours. Just so much happened that you don’t remember. It scares me to even think of losing you again.” She sits up in her chair with ears full out never missing a word.

 “What do you mean by bad things? Did I run away? Get in a fight or something?” I shake my head. I hate lying to her like this, but she can’t know the truth. “There was an issue. You got into the wrong crowd of people and they ran wild.” She sucked in a breath sharply. “Wrong people like the people we lock up?” I sit there silently and look at her as her eyes tear up and streaks wet her cheeks. “Was I a criminal dad?” I jump over to her side and hug her tightly. “No sweetheart. No. we all just get turned around sometimes. It’s nothing to worry about. I promise. You’re back. You’re back and I am never leaving you.” She laughs and wipes her tears. “Thank you, dad.” She kisses me on my cheeks as she did when she was little. The sweet little girl with curly pigtails flowing in the wind as she picked flowers and spun in her Sunday dress. She’s my little girl.

 (y/n) POV:

I button my shirt and fix my bun while taking one last look in the mirror. “Now you sure you want to do this?” My dad asks as he paces around nervously. “Of course! Now would you stop? I’m ready for this. This is going to help Bruce so much. Its for the best of Gotham.” Harvey snickers as he takes another spoonful of his breakfast. “Are all you Gordons the same? Go for the best even if it means being stuffed in a loony box! Are you sure you want to do this kid?” I roll my eyes and once again look over my file. “Yes! For the hundredth time I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Now get off my back. I’m going to be late.” The men shake their heads in laughter. “See you later Doc!” “Have a wonderful first day Ms. Gordon!” They say in sing song voices. “You two are dorks.” I laugh and close the door. I go down the steps and out to the car. Turning over the engine a tiny folded piece of paper fly’s out of the air vent. I unfold the thin while sheet and examine the letters on the parchment.

 ‘Come by after work! Got somethings I think you should have. Xoxo Barbra.’

 “What on earth would she have for me?” I crumble the paper and toss it in my purse. “She could have something interesting you know. Maybe it’s some candy! Oh, I love sugar!” an unfamiliar voice rips through the air from the back seat of my car. I turn quickly to see a little boy with red curtly hair and a freckled face. He sits in the middle with his hands twiddling. He had on an oversized grey sweat shirt and a worn pair of jeans. “Whoa! Hey kid! Where’s your mom?” The boy looks down and shrugs. “I don’t know. She went off with some man into a building. Just told me to wait here, but I got cold.” “Your mother left you on the street?” “Yeah, but I’m use to it.” She smiles sadly. “Hey, you want some candy? I heard you say you liked sugar. What do you say I hand over a candy bar and you brighten those eyes carrot?” I say making the boys eyes lighten. “Want to see a magic trick? I’ve been working on it all week!” “sure kid.” I smile at the little boy.

 He pulls out a pack of cards and shuffles them. “Now! I am going to make three piles!” He sets out three stacks and waves his hands widely. “Take a card from the middle stack, and lay it face up on either side of the other decks!” I do as instruct and revile a four of clubs. “Now do the same for the other side.” I pick up another card from the middle and place it on the other deck which is the four of diamonds. “Okay. Now this card in the middle that I have not seen is yours. Pick it up. Now understand I haven’t seen it. I have no clue what it is!” He says dramatically. I look at the card from the middle claiming the Joker in my hands. “Now that you have seen your card! Put it back anywhere in the middle stack as I look away!” The boy covers his eyes with his little hand and I place it in the stack. He picks the two fours and places one on top and one on the bottom. “Now I call this trick two fours! Now I know your card is somewhere between the top and the bottom, but I don’t know where it is. I’m going to put all the cards together and shuffle them.” I watch as he shuffles with a determined look on his face. “Now! I want you to think of the card you had! Think harder than you ever have in your life!” He places his fingers on his head in concentration. “Oh! It is coming! I see it! Your card is… right here!” The boy pulls out the 3 of hearts. “Sorry buddy. Maybe with a little more practice you’ll-“ “Oh! No, I’m sorry this isn’t your card! Your card is in there!” The boy points to my sun visor. I narrow my eyes and drop the visor and hooked under the mirror I see my card. The card I had pulled from the stack!

 I look back at the kid and see him smiling in pure joy. I laugh and pass over the candy. “How’d you do that?” “A great magician never reviles his secrets.” I nod and pull the card out looking at it. “What’s your name magic boy? I never got to-“ I turn back to see him, but he is gone. Only the candy bar remains in the seat. A knock on my window turns my attention to view my father. “You okay honey? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I nod my head and make up some dumb excuse about the heat warming up. I brush off the weird episode and label it as stress. Time to get some real work done!

Tagged

@hufflepuff-and-feminist

@vividcelestia

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#25: The Checking In (6x12)

So in 6x12 we only get a few Richonne moments but they're still so good because when are they not? 😋

One of them, is when Rick follows after Michonne after talking to Carol and it's a really nice shot that I’m glad the show took time to include. Again, it always looks like there's a magnet between them and they can't be more than a certain amount of feet away from each other. And I love that their need to be together is not angsty or co-dependent, it’s just that being together is literally what they’re meant to be doing. 

Plus I love that Rick instinctually follows after Michonne immediately after his confrontational conversation with Carol. It just lets you know, Homeboy was half listening to Carol, half wondering when he can get back to Michonne lol. And then the fact that you see Michonne turn around as she sensed him walking towards her. It's so small but so cute cuz I love that they just genuinely like being around each other and they're so connected. They're one y'all. 

And plus it's cool cuz it feels like Michonne is Rick's safe space. Like with everyone else he's expected to be their gritty fearless leader right now and boldly lead them into this outpost, but you know with Michonne, Rick can just be Rick, the person, and discuss what he really feels and thinks about what they're about to do. 

And then, later, we have Rick and Michonne with Uncle Daryl, taking people out in the outpost as they sleep. To date this is probably the most savage thing TF has done I'd think. (Another notable thing in this episode was Abraham in that do-rag, but that's another discussion. 😂) I also think it's funny that it's just a given to TF that Rick and Michonne will pair up. Like post-cannon, pre-cannon, doesn't matter, they finna be together like the soul mates they are. 

But I was also laughing when I first saw these three paired up cuz I was like "How are you going to have your three most elite fighters in one group and then leave Glenn (😭) and Heath alone? 😂 Don't get me wrong, Glenn (😭) could handle business, but they might have wanted a mentor for this lol. 

But, that aside, I was here for it since I know R&M paired up cuz they're gonna need to visibly know the other is safe. Like they're not trying to have something go wrong and then not be able to see that the other person is okay. And for me, it also helped to ease the stress of watching this outpost escapade, cuz the minute I saw that they got the whole dang A-team in one group, I knew that they would be fine no matter what went down. Plus it's cute that Daryl is with just them for the first time since they became "Richonne" lol.

And then once all is said and done at the outpost, we get our last and cutest Richonne moment of the episode when Rick goes up to Michonne to check in on her. Like y'all, she really is something special to him. Rick is a leader in a fallen world. He has kids and a group that all look to him. And even with so much on his plate, I adore that no matter what else is going on, Michonne's happiness and thoughts and closeness is always a priority to him, always.

I love this point that someone made about how Rick has a million things going on in his head all the time, but with Michonne, it's like everything slows down and he's able to fully focus on her. Like she's his sanity, point blank. And just like his well being affects hers, her wellbeing affects him, hence why he checks on her first. He asks Michonne, “What is it?” and I love that it’s said this way cuz it means he already knows there’s something on her mind. They are that in tune with each other that he doesn’t have to ask if something’s up, he already knows. They weren’t kidding about that whole “I’m okay cuz you’re okay” thing. Again, all up close and personal with each other, Michonne says she just wonders which one of them was Negan and I remember thinking "None of them, boo. Negan is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He wasn't up in that outpost, girl!"...But then I remembered she doesn't know this so that is a legit question. 😂 Michonne always asks the real questions lol. 👌🏽 And I love that Rick subtly nods when she says this cuz he also knows Michonne asks the real questions, and he's aware that she has a good point. But this moment of checking in with each other was significant to their relationship cuz it lets you know that they talk and check in on each other right away. They haven't even left the place but they’re talking. Same with Rick in 6x11 asking Michonne if she's “up for this” at Hilltop. They value each other's thoughts so much that they don't wait and table these discussion until they get home and I'm here for it. It shows that they consult each other and they are in this together. I love love love that they are not just a couple, they are not just best friends, they are also legitimate partners in crime and equals in leading the pack and strategizing together. It does not get more “power couple” than that, and R&M do everything together, hence why Richonne is everything. 👌🏽

[midnightraven13]

I’ve never personally experienced these types of interactions(yet), but a lot of it for me is how I’ve never had any real fun in taking this kind of stuff this seriously.

I remember when I was younger and competitive Pokémon was mostly about not using legendaries and having a well-trained team. As I got older and went to college, though, I noticed how everyone was using Smogon to make the “perfect team”, and I get that you want a well-balanced team, but for me going so in-depth that you spend an insane amount of time just to get the right IVs or whatever just ruins the fun. I had a couple friends in college who were into competitive Pokémon and we would play in the afternoon once our classes were all finished, but it always felt... predictable.

They knew exactly how everything would work out and why, talking about how using this Pokémon with this ability or pairing with this Pokémon with these certain IVs would ensure victory. One of them would always discuss how he spent hours training and leveling for the perfect IVs and if he messed up he would have to start all over at the Day Care, which seems so crazy to me. Again, I never played competitively - and probably never will - so I never really tried to get anything crazy like that, but by the time I got to college I had been playing Pokémon almost religiously for a decade, so I wasn’t exactly new to the games.

I always found fun in how you’re not entirely sure what the battle will be like, because even if you’re at a higher level and have a type advantage it never feels too easy(at least for Major NPCs, at some point you can just mow down random trainers on the routes), but when you’re in a battle with equal levels and you get wiped out in one hit because the other person spent over 15 hours just to get the Special Ability that the Pokémon only gets 5% of the time at the Day Care - and it happens constantly - it kinda sucks. At that point the battle is so predictable that there’s no point in trying.

You feel like you don’t want to play anymore and you feel bad because you think it’s dumb that losing to someone makes you hate a game you play, but constantly losing when you try your hardest only for someone to be smug and say that your team has crappy IVs and you should just release them for not being worth your time is so sucky. Like no, I love my Venusaur. I raised him from a tiny Lvl. 1 Bulbssaur and I’m not gonna delete him just because he’s not good enough for you. Just let me play the game my way and get on with your life, and I’ll let you play it how you like it.

If someone who does play competitive reads this, then hey, I get it, you find it fun and whatever, and that’s fine. There are some people who love pouring time into the nitty-gritty stuff like this, and that’s okay. Just don’t be a jerk and tell other people how to have fun in a game whose main demographic is your 8 year-old cousin. I still love Pokémon, and I can’t wait for the new ones to come out, but please don’t ruin the experience for others.

[a-wayne-at-heart]

[Robin Panels] The New 52's "Batman and Robin Eternal" (2015)

I don't know about you guys, but Batfamily-wise, the New 52's "Batman and Robin Eternal" is just a gift that keeps on giving.

Be forewarned: this is going to be long and panel-heavy. I want to highlight precious, character-revealing moments from the series, and there are a lot. Thus, panels won’t be arranged chronologically, but thematically. 

Most of it will be focused on Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne, though. But, story-wise, Cassandra Cain (then Orphan) and Harper Row (Bluebird) play central roles. Barbara Gordon (as Batgirl), Stephanie Brown (as Spoiler), Duke Thomas (then a "Robin"), Jim Gordon (then "Batman" in a mech suit), and Azrael, as well as others Batfrenemies, make appearances, too. So, yeah. Definitely a Batfamily affair.

I love this series. By writing this, I'm going through it for the second time. 

Just like in the "Robin War" story arc, we see that Bruce manages to unite his family even in his absence. (Sure, they sometimes do so out of begrudging respect, but they really do love him!)

A little backstory (and SPOILERS):

Throughout the series, the present is juxtaposed with the past.

“No more secrets. No more lies.”

The story revolves around a villain that Bruce Wayne first encountered in his early years as Batman, way back when his Robin was still an enthusiastic, fresh-faced Dick. Simply referred to as "Mother", her goal is to produce "perfect" children. Believing that overcoming intense personal trauma is the key to pushing a child towards his or her full potential, she targets children, murders their parents, then takes them under her wing. With the help of brainwashing (and Scarecrow's fear toxin), she molds them into human weapons intent on pleasing her. Rich and powerful clients in search of ideal children avail of her, um, services.

To investigate deeper, Bruce posed as a potential client and pretended to be dissatisfied with his ward. 

While Robin continued to fight alongside Batman on a daily basis, Bruce purposefully left Dick in the dark about Mother. Later on, we find out why: dealing with Mother revealed some truths that Bruce was ashamed to face. Perhaps he was no different from Mother? That he'd been using the death of Dick's parents to mold him into Robin? Did he really want to replace Dick?

Take a gander at a very handsome younger Bruce Wayne undercover as... himself.

But before Batman could shut down Mother's twisted operation, he "died" and came back amnseic - but not without leaving a trail leading to Mother behind (in true Batman fashion).        

At present day, when parents turn up dead and children become orphaned, a mysterious vigilante (okay, it’s Cass!) leaves Dick a digital device containing Bruce’s confession to him and the file on the Mother case.  

“I’m not the man you think I am. I failed you. I failed all of you.”

And so, he enlists the help of his brothers to investigate and hunt down this “Mother”.

MORE, MORE, MORE UNDER THE CUT:

So, let's start with the eldest, the original, the legendary Dick Grayson, our beacon for all things Robin.  

In spite of all the masks Dick has worn over the years - Nightwing, Batman, Agent 37 -  he never forgets his superhero roots. He's still Robin at his core. 

So much so that even while wearing his Spyral uniform, he prioritizes Batman’s mission....

... and calls on the best. Back-up. Ever. (Who we’ll be discussing later on.)

He takes charge of the mission at the get-go, and his brothers know better than to argue with that. They respect his seniority and trust in his leadership (and for good reason).

Nearing the climax of the story, he delegates tasks to the rest of the Batfamily, then takes on the most dangerous one on his own. Not out of bravado, mind you. It's just the selflessness that comes in the Dick Grayson package. This is also personal to him, after all. An unfinished mission from both his and Bruce's past that's come back to haunt all of them.

A gazillion miles away, all alone, and he still manages to mother-hen everyone else. 

And in the final showdown, when Mother tries to turn him against Batman - tries to convince him that Batman failed the Robins -  he doesn't sway.  In spite of the secrets that Bruce kept from him, he still trusts in his former mentor's intentions. 

(Of all of Bruce's children, I do think Dick understands him the best. Over 75 years of partnership? Come on.)

As for Dick calling for back-up...

There's our "reformed" Jason, who's clearly enjoying being part of the Batfamily again... 

... even to the point of abiding by Batman’s “rules”. It's been so painful watching him fight his way in, then out of, and then in the family again, that it's such a breath of fresh air seeing him... back home.

He provides a lot of the levity in the series by way of self-deprecation and playful banter with both heroes and villains.

He's our resident street-smart former "street rat". (A lot more sophisticated now, though.)

He's matured quite a bit, too. Biting his tongue, holding back his punches. Using his own past failures to encourage others (like a brainwashed Harper trying to kill Cass).

I can't help but think that, for better or worse, Jason being portrayed as the venomous - villainous, even - antihero in the past makes all of his moments in this series (heck, even in DC's "Rebirth") much sweeter.

(I mean, if all his monstrous transgressions are still canon in this timeline, then he truly does have a lot to make up for. Maximum security jail time in the real world, really.)

Then, there’s Tim. When did our self-conscious, sleep-deprived Timmy get this confident? This... manly?

With Batman out of commission, he's currently the "World's Greatest Detective", expediting missions through brilliant strategies and A+ geekiness.

He's still a teenager, though (and apparently has to remind Jason of it). 

He's still cool, still calculating. But, somehow, more sure of himself, I guess?  

Let's take a few moments to appreciate the partnership between Jason and Tim in this series...

... and we'll see how much good comes out of two brothers outgrowing their resentment towards each other.

They go on assignment to Egypt in search of answers from the Order of St. Dumas. While Tim poses as an acolyte, Jason is subdued by its members and infected with a bioprogramming virus they created called “Ichthys”. 

Whammied, Jason dreams of his final moments with the Joker. But, this time, instead of being defenseless, he turns into a Red Hood-like version of Robin and mercilessly beats the villain up. 

However, as Jason overcomes his most traumatic experience, he also loses himself to the virus (as Mother intended). Tim quickly realizes this and forms an alliance with a disgruntled Azrael (who just found out he’s been betrayed by his own order) and...

“And your not just the man under the red hood. You’re a Robin.”

Oh, and this one right here!

Speaking of banter in the middle of a life-and-death situation... we weren’t gonna leave Dick out of it, were we?

The ladies have them, too!

Last, and certainly the tiniest but not the least, our egotistical li'l darling Damian.

Although his superiority complex is perfectly intact, he's become more cooperative, more willing to concede to his brothers (just not, you know, out loud), for the sake of the mission.

In some ways, he just might be the most grown-up of them all. (Perhaps it has something to do with his recent accomplishment of the "Year of Blood"?) When his brothers start giving in to helplessness, he calls them out and reminds them of the legacy that he’s inherited.

Now, I think it’s important to discuss these parallels because they sort of address a polarizing issue.

“We chose to be a family.”

Jason sees the Robins as Batman’s army-turned-family...

... but Dick sees it very differently...

... and so does Bruce.

Oh, wait, do you remember this scene from an episode of “Young Justice”?

Wonder Woman: “You indoctrinated Robin into crime fighting at the ripe old age of nine.”

Batman: “Robin needed help to bring the men who murdered his family to justice.”

Wonder Woman: “So he could turn out like you?”

Batman:

(P.S. Please remember that this is fantasy, people. Not the recommended real-world parenting method.) 

At this point in the comics, the Batboys have already overcome a lot of their personal issues with one another - and with Bruce. They've all gone through enormous character development in their respective titles. (Writers seem to be making up for a lot of emotional damage to the fans over the years.) So when we experience them together like this, we find that they're more mature (which may come off as "gritty"), more accountable for other people, more efficient as a unit. And, dare I say, more grateful for Bruce's role in their lives.

“We’re Robins. And our work isn’t close to being finished.”

Big brother Dick puts things into perspective one last time...

“Sounds like a job for Batman and Robin.”

Of course Bruce is back before the series concludes. And this last part? I can't ask for better reunion panels.

Intense. Emotional. Action-packed. 11/10 would recommend.

[gplusbfics]

“Altering Course” is one of my favorite, favorite Garashir stories out there. Top 5. I honestly don’t know how many times over I read this. I ever wrote my own sort of sequel to it, could not help myself. So I waited a few months into this blog before sharing it, to make I’d have a fair amount of followers who’d see my rec. In case anyone hasn’t read it, which I know many have, as it has like 500 kudos on AO3. But anyway, I’m rec’ing it now.

And why do I love it? Well, here are four major reasons. (There are even more, but these are the main ones, and ones I can put forth without tossing in too many spoilers. Obviously the main spoilers is yes, they do get together. So, sorry, yes, it’s a happy story – spoiler.) So, reasons:

The world-building. Oh, my stars, the world-building! Not just the building of what life would be like the wake of any devastating war, but specifically how Cardassians would adapt to it, and what Cardassian culture is like in general. A lot of this is gleaned through Julian’s perspective, but the perspectives alternate, so you also see it through Garak’s perspective. You get to understand how Garak sees his new role in his world, how he views Julian, and how he thinks. There is also a ton of vocabulary and invented Cardassian culture, including food, terms of endearment, ceremonies, even folk stories, etc., which make everything so real and vivid. Nothing is generic, but all very specific.

The wonderfully, carefully, and fully explored relationship between the two of them, shown from both points of view. I’ve certainly enjoyed a fair share of stories where Julian arrives on Cardassia and is in bed with Garak within an hour, but the pacing of the relationship in this story does not proceed like that at all. And in context of the way the characters are done, the way Cardassian culture is developed, it works wonderfully — everything about it feels right. It doesn’t mean those other stories are wrong, I just love the patience and I guess realism of this story, which the author mentions as their intent in writing this, i.e. "What would it look like for these two to actually work out the nitty-gritty of a relationship?”

The original characters. There are so many great original characters who appear, not just in cameos, but in important roles that build over time. These characters are all Cardassian and are mostly of importance to Julian, who gradually becomes part of a new world, but they are also important to Garak, who actually manages to gain the family and place in community he didn’t think he could ever have. One relationship I really like is between Julian and his boss Peldar at the hospital, who he at first has trouble interacting with (cultural differences) but then gets along with swimmingly, to the point she becomes seemingly his closest friend. There are also Cardassian children who have their own personalities and are more than just cute little poppets.

The realities of post-war reconstruction. This is a subset of world-building and an important one. There are numerous stories which do a fantastic job of describing life post-war Cardassia, but I like the details this author cooks up. The food-ration system, the pur-nims (mayors) like Garak who manage city sectors, the famine that comes on when colony and Federation relief food supplies are interrupted, people living in ruins, having to reclaim food out of the ruins. It reminded me of tales from life during and after World War II — someone finds tins of food in the rubble of a restaurant and it would be a prize because it could feed your family for two weeks. There’s also a great chapter where Jake Sisko appears and gets involved in the relief effort; that’s handled quite nicely.

Excerpt

Having read the ‘how to properly court on Cardassia Prime’ guide Garak provided, Julian was now ready to discuss the concept further. While chopping oktar (and wasn’t everyone sick of oktar by now), he hoped Garak was once again in a mood to provide actual information. “The couple we saw, where the woman gave the man permission to court her.”

“I trust you have read the information I provided?”

“Yes. I understand the first phase – the suitor is essentially proving his or her potential as a partner.” Along with a short list of permissible physical contact, the first phase of courtship seemed to consist of gifts from the suitor to the courted, and dates in public places.

“An accurate, if somewhat simplistic, analysis.”

“Then the suitor is given permission to use the courted’s first name…”

“‘Courted?’ What an inelegant translation.”

Julian refused to be sidetracked by Garak’s linguistic complaint. He could take that up with the UT program that had translated the text. “… which brings us to the second phase. Your courtship is full of rigid delineations. I hadn’t expected that from a culture with such ambiguous language.”

“Cardassi is not ambiguous, it’s rooted in context,” huffed Garak.

“Which makes it ambiguous. But I digress. The second phase, again, makes sense. The couple is considering their lives and ensuring that they are compatible.” Here the dates could take place in the suitor’s home, as well as public places, and the couple asked each other the kind of questions that humans tended to raise over time. Serving the state came up more than it did for human couples, but the idea remained more or less the same. Also, the list of permissible physical contact got longer.

“That’s quite crucial, since we Cardassians are loathe to dissolve marriages.”

“The guide said that the courted will end the relationship upon deciding they’re not a compatible couple.”

“Naturally.”

“What if the suitor decides that?”

“It’s very rare and suggests the suitor did not approach the courtship with due consideration.”

“So the suitor is already nearly certain that they want to marry this person before they even ask permission to begin courtship?”

“Correct.”

“Okay.“ Nothing like a little pressure. "Back to the phases, it’s the third phase that I’m not clear on.”

“Once the ‘courted,’” Garak said the word with clear distaste, “invites the suitor to their home, physical contact is unlimited. How is that unclear?”

“What’s the purpose of this phase?”

Garak briefly looked up from his attempt to make protein bars more palatable. “Courtship is a serious matter, leading to marriage. The third phase ensures that the couple is truly compatible – in every sense.”

“I see. Making certain that their lifestyles and desires align?” And sexual proclivities, if he’d interpreted correctly.

“Precisely.” With a final sprinkle of salt, Garak seemed satisfied with his protein bar creation. He dumped the chopped oktar on top, then slipped the whole dish into the oven.

“Alright. That brings me to another question. Courtship is a serious matter for lifelong commitment. What about lack of commitment? Do Cardassians have casual sex?”

Garak was startled enough that his head jolted up with decidedly less grace than usual. He looked at Julian for a moment before answering, “Yes, of course, but we don’t talk about it.”

“Casual sex, or sex in general?”

“Either, unless we know the conversation partner extremely well. You might not have realized, since the military men are uncouth enough to brag of their sexual conquests, but it’s not done in polite society.”

“So I shouldn’t ask my colleagues.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.”

Metadata

Title: Altering Course Author: AuroraNova Year Posted: 2015 Approx. Word Count: 73,000 Chapters: 15 GB - Slash or Platonic: Slash My Rating (1-5): 5 Keywords: Post-Canon Cardassia, Friends-to-Lovers, Courtship, Marriage, Family, Anti-Augment Prejudice

[ozkamal]

"But the problem with me was that as soon as I started thinking about getting it together, I got this mad craving desire to fuck it up." Rebecca Godfrey“I am an over-thinker and an over-feeler. Over-lover. Over- needer. I would flood you. I would drown your respectable standoffishness. I don’t get over things, but I get under them well. I’d love you and you’d soak me through. You couldn’t handle me even if you wanted to.” Rebeka Anne, some people think I’m too much "I just want to pour my soul out onto someone and not have to worry about the mess I've made" "Sometimes I’m certain  those who are happy  know one thing more than us…  or one thing less."  - Anne Michaels “The Weight of Oranges” “I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess it’s like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling.” Haruki Murakami “Find something that you’re passionate about, devote your time and energy to it. But make sure what you’re passionate about is not a person, but a thing.”“I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more. I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits.” Anaïs Nin“You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the colour of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.” What my therapist told me this morning“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier.” River Phoenix “I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”  Sylvia Plath “I’m tired" “Sleep” “No you don’t understand” Do you understand?“What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours–that is what you must be able to attain.” Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll “Reading is not simply an intellectual pursuit but an emotional and spiritual one. It lights the candle in the hurricane lamp of self; that’s why it survives.” Anna Quindle“It would be that time - late at night - when your ears reach for any sound. When you can see more with your eyes closed than open.” Diary - Chuck Palahniuk“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.” Player Piano, Kurt Vonnegut “I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. Every person needs to learn how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.” Andrei Tarkovsky “I’m one of those people who believe that words are some of the last forms of magic that exist” Lana Del Rey “She waited for the train to pass. Then she said, “I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.”” Haruki Murakami,  Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman “… we are capable of many things in all directions, of great virtues and great sins. And who in his mind has not probed the black water? Maybe we all have in us a secret pond where evil and ugly things germinate and grow strong. But this culture is fenced, and the swimming brood climbs up only to fall back. Might it not be that in the dark pools of some men the evil grows strong enough to wriggle over the fence and swim free? Would not such a man be our monster, and are we not related to him in our hidden water? It would be absurd if we did not understand both angels and devils, since we invented them.” East of Eden - John Steinbeck “I crave so much more than just a physical connection. I crave words and depth. I crave who you are and where you came from, your desires and fears. I yearn to know every inch of you beyond the surface.”“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the…man who walks past [you]…at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…” Timothy Leary  http://ift.tt/2l1RShO have very intense conversations with friends, people I really interconnect with. We talk about politics, important things. I like to talk about ideas and get people to be specific.” Jacqueline Bisset “Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them.”I stopped explaining myself when I realized, People only understand from their level of perception“She’s never where she is. She’s only inside her head.” White Oleander by Janet Fitch“What I hate is ignorance, smallness of imagination, the eye that sees no farther than its own lashes. All things are possible. Who you are is limited only by who you think you are.” Egyptian Book of the Dead“I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood.” Unknown you find a woman with a wild heart do not try to tame her. You must adore her recklessly, the way she is meant to be loved. Do not try to quiet her, for her roars will reach far and wide. She has something important to say. Help her say it. Do not get in her way. She stops for no one. Do not try to change the path she has chosen. Learn also to love the wind and let it change you.” C.B. Wild-Hearted Woman “I am not a puzzle to be solved. I am someone to be experienced- a soul to be tasted” jenn satsun“To be acutely conscious is a disease, a real, honest-to-goodness disease.” Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground "Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul."“Sometimes words come out of me and I don’t know where they come from or why. They’re like falling stars tumbling through the universe; bright, burning things that can’t be stopped.” Glenda Millard, A Small Free Kiss in the Dark “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”“My emotional life: dialectic between craving for privacy and need to submerge myself in a passionate relationship to another.” Susan Sontag, from Reborn: Journals & Notebooks “We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning.” Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood“I remained to much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.” Edgar Allen Poe “Protect yourself from your own thoughts.” Rumi I try to maintain a healthy dose of daydreaming to remain sane.” Florence Welch “I’m self-sufficient. I spend a lot of time on my own and I shut off quite easily. When I communicate, I communicate 900%, then I shut off, which scares people sometimes.” Björk "Desires, memories, fears, passions form labyrinths in which we lose and find and then lose ourselves again." Bernhard Schlink“I’ve always believed one could live many lives…even if just in our imagination. The world is open to us, and each day is an occasion to reinvent ourselves.” Ralph Lauren"I hunger for intensity. For love, affection, for tangible. For ineffable. For infinity. For discovery.  I hunger for knowledge. Life is filled with wanders and wonders. Die knowing something. Die loving something."“I fell in love with books. Some people find beauty in music, some in painting, some in landscape, but I find it in words. By beauty, I mean the feeling you have suddenly glimpsed another world, or looked into a portal that reveals a kind of magic or romance out of which the world has been constructed, a feeling there is something more than the mundane, and a reason for our plodding.” To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father, Donald Miller “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer“I am a jumble of passions, misgivings, and wants. It seems that I am always in a state of wishing and rarely in a state of contentment.” The Sweet Far Thing, Libba Bray “All profound distraction opens certain doors. You have to allow yourself to be distracted when you are unable to concentrate.” Julio Cortazar“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your soul. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” Franz Kafka“Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music— the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” Henry Miller Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom…is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.” Anthony Bourdain “Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking and loving and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning.” Elie Wiesel, Dawn “And like the sea, I’m constantly changing from calm to hell.” Dallas Green “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.” Christopher Morley“I feel so shut out, I’m always homesick. But when I get home. I find it’s something else I’m longing for.” Autumn Sonata “Without deep conversation, my mind becomes restless. I need passion and intellect, it’s a shame that a person often lacks one or the other.”“I didn’t say I liked it. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.” Oscar Wilde, adapted from The Picture of Dorian Gray “I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night”“Loneliness is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t wanna deal with people.” Hedonist Poet“I want to be loved and to be left alone.” David Swanger, “My Mother’s Nudes"“I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it, until it begins to shine.” Emily Dickinson“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things which I dare not confess to my own soul.” Bram Stoker, Dracula“I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me.” Virginia Woolf, The Waves“Not everyone can feel things as deeply as you. Most people, their feelings are … bland, tasteless. They’ll never understand what it’s like to read a poem and feel almost like they’re flying, or to see a bleeding fish and feel grief that shatters their heart…” Juliann Garey, Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See “And never have I felt so deeply at one and, at the same time, so detached from myself, and so present in the world.” Albert Camus“My human capabilities aren’t sufficient enough to help translate what my soul wants to express.” JMC“Perhaps the world’s second worst crime is boredom. The first is being a bore.” Jean Baudrillard “We approach the void…but not to fall into it. We want to become intoxicated with dizziness and the image of the fall is sufficient.” Georges Bataille, Death and Sensuality“If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.”“I think if we didn’t contradict ourselves, it would be awfully boring. It would be tedious to be alive. Changing your mind is probably one of the most beautiful things people can do. And I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things over the years.” Paul Auster“I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know–unless it be to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.” James Kavanaugh“Does she scare you a little? Good. She should make you fear her love, so that when she lets you be apart of it, you won’t take it lightly. She should remind you of the power that beauty brings, that storms reside in her veins, and that she still wants you in the middle of it all. Do not take this soul for granted, for she is fierce, and she can take you places that you never thought you could go; but she is still loving in the midst of it all, like the calm rain after a storm, she can bring life. Learn her, and cherish her, respect her, and love her; for she is so much more than a pretty face, she is a soul on fire.” T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m still learning at 25“Everything is strange. Things are huge and very small.” The Waves, Virginia Woolf"We are meant to discover our authentic nature-- the state of being in which we are inspired by ourselves, turned on, lit up, and excited about who we are."  Debbie Ford“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.” Charles Bukowski “All I ever really want to know is how other people are making it through life — where do they put their body, hour by hour, and how do they cope inside of it.” Miranda July, from It Chooses You “I want to meet people with fire in them, burning through life like a forest fire, too many people die out and survive on embers.” Adam Zucconi “A thinking woman sleeps with monsters.” Snapshots of a Daughter-in-Law, Adrienne Rich“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the sky.” Jack Kerouac “The hardest period in life is one’s twenties. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous, and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.” Helen Mirren “I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me…I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person.” Sylvia Plath“I just want to think deeply about things. Contemplate ideas in a pure, free sort of way. That’s all.” Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage “Strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty.” Charles Baudelaire “You have to be interested. If you’re not interested, you can’t be interesting.” Iris Apfel “I always thought insanity would be a dark, bitter feeling, but it is drenching and delicious if you really roll around in it.” The Help, Kathryn Stockett “Everybody’s born with some different thing at the core of their existence. And that thing, whatever it is, becomes like a heat source that runs each person from the inside. I have one too, of course. Like everybody else. But sometimes it gets out of hand. It swells or shrinks inside me, and it shakes me up. What I’d really like to do is find a way to communicate that feeling to another person. But I can’t seem to do it. They just don’t get it. Of course, the problem could be that I’m not explaining it very well, but I think it’s because they’re not listening very well. They pretend to be listening, but they’re not, really. So I get worked up sometimes, and I do some crazy things.” Haruki Murakami,The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle“Words weren’t dull, words were things that could make your mind hum. If you read them and let yourself feel the magic, you could live without pain, with hope, no matter what happened to you.” Charles Bukowski (from Ham On Rye)“Certain kinds of knowledge rob people of their sleep.” Haruki Murakami, 1Q84“Maybe we all live life at too high a pitch, those of us who absorb emotional things all day, and as a consequence we can never feel merely content: we have to be unhappy, or ecstatically, head-over-heels happy, and those states are difficult to achieve within a stable, solid relationship.” High Fidelity - Nick Hornby “For every devious scream in my head there is a divine whisper and it saves me every time.” VàZaki Nada“In man’s memories there are those things that he doesn’t reveal to all, but perhaps only to his friends. And then there are those he won’t reveal even to his friends, but perhaps only to himself, and even then in confidence. But then, finally, there are those that a man is afraid to reveal even to himself, and any decent man accumulates quite enough of those things.” Notes from the Underground - Fyodor Dostoevsky“I feel too much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel the wrong ways? My insides don’t match up with my outsides. Do anyone’s inside and outsides match up? I don’t know. I’m only me. Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and the outside. But it’s worse for me. I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him. Probably. But it really is worse for me.” Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close“In spite of language, in spite of intelligence and intuition and sympathy, one can never really communicate anything to anybody. The essential substance of every thought and feeling remains incommunicable, locked up in the impenetrable strong-room of the individual soul and body. Our life is a sentence of perpetual solitary confinement.” Aldous Huxley“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature, understand them thoroughly.”“People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.” Benjamin Alire Sáenz“Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that’s ok with them.” Alain de Botton“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” Laurie Helgoe“Remember that the world began in a manic episode, too. God likes to hoard sharp  things, just like you. We are saving you. And we need to hear it one more time: Who knows best?” Lydia Havens, From the Voices, published in “Pouch” “Keep interested in others; keep interested in the wide and wonderful world. Then in a spiritual sense you will always be young.” Fredric March“fernweh [feyrn-vey]” (noun) This wonderful, untranslatable German word describes the feeling of homesickness for a far away land, a place you have never visited. Do not confuse this with the english word, wanderlust; Fernweh is much more profound, it is the feeling of an unsatisfied urge to escape and discover new places, almost a sort of sadness. You miss a place you have never experienced, as opposed to lusting over it or desiring it like wanderlust. You are seeking freedom and self-discovery, but not a particular home.“Getting lost was not a matter of geography so much as identity, a passionate desire, even an urgent need, to become no one and anyone, to shake off the shackles that remind you who you are, who others think you are.” Rebecca Solnit“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and its spectacular.”“I’m very interested in good and evil and the moral natures of people.” Antonia Fraser“I stay up just late enough until I am just exhausted enough that I can fall into my bed and sink into immediate slumber. Because I can’t stand lying in a bed in a dark room alone with just my thoughts for so many hours and hours.”“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift.” Mary Oliver“I crave space. It charges my batteries. It helps me breathe. Being around people can be so exhausting, because most of them love to take and barely know how to give. Except for a rare few.” Unknown“The ability to sit down with another person and talk for hours, about anything and everything, is more attractive to me than anything else.” Koi Fresco“The power to bring me out of solitude – or to push me back into it – had never belonged to another person. It was mine and only mine.” Martha Beck“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.” The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho“Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.” bell hooks“My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence.” Sherlock Holmes from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle “Suffering and pain are always obligatory for a broad consciousness and a deep heart. Truly great men, I think, must feel great sorrow in this world.” Fyodor Dostoevsky (from Crime and Punishment)“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” Rainer Maria Rilke"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights“I felt a queasy mixture of relief and horror: when you finally stop an itch and realize it’s because you’ve ripped a hole in your skin” Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl“He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he could not breathe in mine.” Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights“I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. You’re all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside.” Haruki Murakami “I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, ‘Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?’ or ‘Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?’ But you can’t say that at a…party.” Paul Gilmartin, The Mental Illness Happy Hour“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer“I’m half child half ancient.”I am fucking insane but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure“How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?” Don DeLillo“Everyone has a 2 AM and a 2 PM personality.”“My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me.” “My nights are for overthinking, my mornings are for oversleeping.”“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood"George Orwell, 1984“‘I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless, it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.’” Louis C.K.“I’m not the same everyday. There are times where I’m loud and chatty, and there are times when I’m really quiet. I don’t think I can define myself.”“Personally, I’m a mess of conflicting impulses—I’m independent and greedy and I also want to belong and share and be a part of the whole.” Richard Siken, Spork Editor’s Pages: Black Telephone“There is no pleasure more complex than that of thought.” Jorge Luis Borges, The Immortal from Labyrinths, “Pick my brain. Ask me about my views on something. Dig deeper than the obvious. Let’s make each other think. Show me a different perspective.”“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good.” Roal Dahl "I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what's really important in life."“Human beings are made of water, we were not designed to hold ourselves together; rather run freely like oceans like rivers” Beau Taplin "You're under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.""How is it possible to feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?"I am no longer afraid of becoming lost, because the journey back always reveals something new and that is ultimately good for the soul. “Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” Janet Fitch, White Oleander“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” AristotleIt was a joy! Words weren't dull, words were things that could make your mind hum. If you read them and let yourself feel the magic, you could live without pain, with hope, no matter what happened to you.“I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.” Michael Faudet My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours“I don’t like small talk. Talk to me about life. Talk to me about your scars and the concealer you call your smile. Talk to me about the story behind your favorite song. Tell me about your dreams that sometimes seem too big for the Earth to contain. Tell me what wakes you up in the morning before your alarm clock does. Tell me about what makes shivers run down your spine. Tell me about what makes your eyes light up like the stars I can’t see in New York City. Tell me your story.”“Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?” Clarice Lispector, A Hora Da Estrela “I appreciate the people who take time to look at the world a little deeper”Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Be curious.” Stephen Hawking"I used to think I was the strangest person in the world. But then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me, who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there, thinking of me too. Well, I hope, that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes it's true. I'm here and I'm just as strange as you.""There's nothing wrong with not understanding yourself"

https://www.reddit.com/r/quotes/comments/5v96c6/extensionalism/?utm_source=ifttt

[siliconwebx]

Facebook Marketing: How to Grow Your Business Using Facebook

Where there’s internet, there is Facebook. Because of that ubiquity, Facebook marketing is pretty much required if your brand is going to succeed online. The problem with that is simple: Facebook marketing is a huge topic with a lot of moving parts. You will need to consider a lot of variables to really hone in on a strategy, and that’s what we want to help you with. No matter what your business or brand, we can help you get your Facebook marketing strategy off the ground. And if you’re already knee-deep in Facebook, we have some ideas for you that can take your marketing from great to astonishing. Let’s get started.

Getting Started with Facebook Marketing

First, I want to acknowledge that not everyone is on Facebook for personal interaction. The beauty of approaching Facebook marketing from a business standpoint is that you can keep the two sides of your life pretty much completely separated. While you can’t use Facebook anonymously, you can have an account where the only personal information available is the name you choose and everything else is tied to the business accounts. In some ways, keeping these sides completely separate will limit your ability to market to certain demographics (such as Facebook groups and potentially Events); however, it is up to you on what are the most important aspects of the platform.

As we move through the various topics, we will touch on which elements may use your personal profile rather than your business one. If it’s not listed, you should be safe to assume that your brand identity will be the public-facing persona. For the most part, we are going to assume you will have a profile with reasonable privacy settings for your personal account.

Step 1: Create Your Facebook Account

If you already have an account, feel free to scroll down a bit. This step is showing how simple it is to get started on Facebook itself.

You might be tempted to click on the Create a Page link at the bottom of the screen. And while it will let you create a page for your brand immediately, the process hits a hurdle when it asks you to log in. So we are going to move forward with creating an account first and then creating the brand profiles we will work with. So press the Sign Up button, you will get an email to verify that you’re really you. Go ahead and enter the code to prove you’re a person.

When you press Continue, you will be taken to your blank timeline. The only real must-do thing at this point is fixing your privacy settings. Regardless of whether you use Facebook personally or not, checking your privacy settings is a good idea. So click on the arrow in the upper-right corner and select Settings to get started.

In general, we will run under the assumption that you let your Friends see pertinent information, but more sensitive information is set to Only Me. That’s just the bare minimum for security. So make sure that you go through all of the tabs in the left sidebar and tweak them to your own preferences. We would, however, like to highlight the section titled Do you want search engines outside of Facebook to link to your profile? This is an option many people are unaware of, so if you want to remove your personal profile from public Google searches, uncheck this box. This will have no effect on your brand identity, such as Pages, Groups, or Events.

After you’ve chosen your settings, it’s time to create the Page you want to be your home base on Facebook.

Step 2: Create a Facebook Page

The Facebook Page is where the majority of your marketing will take place. You will run ads through your page, host events, stream live video, and interact with your audience. Pages are the hub of most public-facing organizations. They can — for the most part — do anything a personal account can do. But without the need to share who is the one behind the branding.

Using a Page to market lets you assign a team of people to manage your business, and we will discuss each of the roles and permissions a bit lower. But first, let’s dig in on actually creating the page. To start, find the Pages link in the sidebar to the left of your timeline.

You will then be taken to a list of all the Pages on your account. This list will be empty if you haven’t done this before. In the upper-right of the toolbar, in the Your Pages tab, you need to press the green Create Page button.

You now choose whether your Page will represent a Business or Brand (services and products, generally) or a Community or Public Figure (described as connecting and sharing with people, an organization, team, or group). For our purposes here, we will go with Business or Brand.

You should have a name chosen by this point (most likely the name of your company or blog or brand itself — such as Elegant Themes). We don’t suggest making a new Page for a single product (such as our Divi theme) because that can be showcased under the umbrella of a larger page that has more reach and utility beyond that single product.

After this step, you will choose a Profile Image and a Cover Photo. You do have the option to skip them for the moment to gather your resources later. At some point, these are a necessity.

With that finalized, you see your new page on the next screen. It will be devoid of content and information at this point, but that’s what you can handle next.

Step 3: Customize Your Page

More than anything else in terms of customization, the @username you choose is the most important. Just click on the Create Page @Username link to the left of the screen to begin.

This will be the way that users and people tag your page in posts — “Look at this amazing deal I got from @username”. It is also the URL slug for your page: fb.me/username or facebook.com/username. Additionally, you get a Facebook Messenger URL where your users can directly IM you, and those messages go directly to your Messages app (assuming you use it).

With that set, it’s time to fill in your brand details. These are the nitty gritty nuggets of information that your users and community need to know about you. A description of who you are, how to find you elsewhere online, where to find you in person if you have a storefront or physical location, menus, email lists, and so on.

Page Description

Two of the most prominent are Adding a Page Description. To add a description, just click on where the Add a Short Description link is under Welcome to Your New Page.

A modal will appear where you can add a 155 character description. This is your elevator pitch. The most succinct way you can describe your brand or business. For example, Elegant Themes’ page has the description, Elegant Themes builds amazingly beautiful Premium WordPress Themes coupled with advanced functionality and awesome support. Simple and gets right to the point.

When that’s finished, another modal appears, asking you if you’d like to edit the rest of your page information or wait until later. No time like the present, so let’s edit that info.

General Page Info

Yet another modal appears, this time with three tabs. Contact, Location, and Hours. All of these may not pertain to your business or brand. If you’re an online shop, you may not have hours. So you can select Always Open. And if you don’t have a street address or phone, you can uncheck them, and they won’t appear at all on your page. Anything you do enter, however, will show up on the main page for all visitors to see under your About section.

When you get through all the tabs, you’ll see a link that says See All Information. Since there’s a lot more than just websites and phones to your business, we should probably click through.

Page Name and Team Member Updates

When you do see all the information available, you may feel overwhelmed. That’s okay. You don’t have to fill it all in now, or really…ever. Some of it may not pertain to you or your Facebook marketing strategy. Much of it, however, will. Again, this is the info that shows up in your About section.

The two most important sections here, at least starting out, are General and Team Member sections. Under General, you can change your page’s name and @username. I bring this up now because you might have chosen the wrong username for your page, or you might have used a page name that might not fully encompass your Facebook marketing goals.

For instance, you might have named your Page Elmo’s Superblog – Fun, Frolick, and Learning with Elmo, but realize that the better page name would be simply Elmo’s Superblog. This is how you’d go about changing that. Also, you can change the @username here, too, and it is entirely independent of the Page name. So you can still have the username @superblog even if you change the name. The reverse is also true. You can change your username but keep the page name. So you could go to @elmosuperblog without worrying about changing your entire page name. In general, however, it is a good tactic to keep them pretty similar. That way, people won’t get confused. And it makes tagging and finding your page easier.

Regarding the Team Members tab, notice that it says if you add yourself to the page as a Team Member, the Page will appear on your profile as well as your own name nad profile picture being featured on the Page. You can still run the page as an Admin or other user role if you are not listed as a Team Member. So if privacy is an issue, or you just want to separate work and personal halves of Facebook, consider whether you should add yourself here or not. Either way is fine.

Other Social Accounts

As an online business, you likely have more than a Facebook account. You have an Instagram, surely, and a Twitter. Maybe you use Snapchat and WhatsApp for customer service and promotion? If so, you want to link to them on your Facebook Page. Just click on the Add Other Accounts link and a modal will pop up so you can include the other platforms you want to showcase.

Any and all accounts you add will be shown under the Contact Info for your Page. When adding the other accounts, make sure only enter the username, not the full URL.

After that, you can simply edit the rest of the details you want to be public on your page. But before moving on to another aspect of your Facebook marketing, let’s take a look at the Story of your Page.

Your Story

To the right of the About section is a large box called Story.

When you click the Tell People About Your Business link, a new editor appears. It looks surprisingly like a blog editor. Because that’s pretty much exactly what it is. You can add a large cover photo and a title. Then you construct a long-form post of what you believe your users, customers, or audience should know about your business or brand. If you have ever posted to Medium, the whole process feels similar to that. When I say long-form, I mean a few paragraphs, maybe. Not a treatise.

I cannot emphasize enough how important having a well-crafted Story can be. Please, take the time to write a narrative that gives your brand a personal connection to your audience. Narrative marketing is one of the hottest trends right now because it makes customers feel a deeper connection to the brand and engage more with it. These days, people don’t want to associate and interact with lifeless companies who are nothing but numbers, liquidation sales, and clearance percentages. They want to buy from the people behind the logo. That’s why they’re on Facebook to begin with. To be social. To interact. And it should be why you’re doing Facebook marketing, too.

After all, when someone new looks at your page, this Story is one of the first things they see. Like everything else on the internet, you have a very short window of time to get and keep their attention, so make it count. Having a good image, a good title, and a well-written narrative around your brand can go a long way to creating a lasting relationship with your visitors. A good story can take that beyond commerce or viral sharing.

With all of those filled out, you can begin to fill out the rest of your information and tweak your page as you go. Those are by far the most important and required pieces you need to fill out.

Add a Button

The final customization you need to make is the Add a Button button. If you don’t do anything else before publicizing your Page, make it this. Facebook lets you place one CTA button that appears at the top of your Page whenever people visit.

You have the option to choose from multiple pre-set kinds of CTA actions for your button:

Book with you

Contact you

Learn more about your business

Shop with you or make a donation

Download your app or play your game

Now, every Facebook marketing strategy is going to be a little different. Some people use Facebook to book appointments (masseuses and other service-related brands, for example. Others are software companies that want to direct you to the App Store as quickly as possible. While other brands use Facebook as a support channel for their users. Regardless of what you use it for, this button is going to probably be the hotspot on your Page (or at the very least, one of them), so choose wisely what works best for your brand.

Useful Facebook Marketing Strategies

Now that your Page is set up, you can use it to market your brand. The Page itself is kind of like a headquarters and lets you perform various tasks. Not all of these ideas will work for every single kind of brand, but the majority will. Let’s take a look.

Messenger

These days, nearly everyone has Facebook Messenger installed on their phones. In many cases, they use it in lieu of traditional SMS/MMS messaging. Facebook recognized the power in that, and they now allow Pages and people to message back and forth within the same interface. Unless they opt-in somehow, you can’t be the one to message first, but under the Add a Button section, you can make it so that you’re just a click away for users to be able to basically text you.

And they will. Instead of sending an email that may or may not be delivered to or read by the right person, sending a Facebook message gives the user access to your brand in real-time as well as in their space. Many Pages run support this way, and it increases engagement heavily. It’s also very easy to set up so that you can start having conversations with your users.

Select the Send Message radio button and click Next. You will now have the option to choose where the user can send a message. If you chose Send Message, your only option will be Facebook Messenger. However, if you have Call Now or Send Email, for example, you will get a field to enter your chosen address or method.

Now, you have the option to review these couple of choices. Just click the Finish button when you’re ready.

Now, you have a nice, shiny Send Message button in your Page’s toolbar. Your audience will absolutely choose to interact with you. If you make it a priority to respond quickly and respectfully, your engagement rate will advance steadily.

Setting Up Facebook Messenger Autoresponders

The final aspect of the Send Message button for your Facebook marketing is making sure that you respond. Because here’s the thing: you’re not always going to be able to get to each and every message as it comes in. Sure, the Message will show up on your phone as a text message, but you may not be able to respond. Or someone on your team may already be handling a different support issue. In those situations, one of the best things you can have is an autoresponder just to let your users know that you check your messages, that you aren’t ignoring their attempt to contact you.

When you first set up your page, you will get a banner alert telling you to set up the responder. This is the best way to do it. You can always get it ready from your settings, too.

When you click either of these options, you will be taken to your Messages settings. In here, you get a ton of options that you can run through to customize exactly how you want to interact with your audience.

We think there are four important aspects to enable here.

Prompt new people to send messages

Send instant replies to anyone who messages your Page

Stay responsive when you can’t get to your computer or phone

Show a Messenger Greeting

It is important to note the differences in these three options because they seem very similar. First, when prompting people to send new messages, your new visitors will see a post like this on your Page’s timeline. The message button is prominent in the post as well as in the toolbar and menu. And in the primary tabs (3 in the below image) if you choose to highlight it as well.

And within the autoresponders, you can up three unique messages, too. When the toggle is switched to On, a highlighted blue message will appear. This is what you will say to your visitors, so you want to personalize them. Hit the Change button to do so.

The differences from each of these are important. The Send instant replies to anyone who messages your Page option is the traditional autoresponder. Anyone who sends your Page a message will get this reply. It can be used to let folks know that you will reply quickly, maybe to link to a knowledge base or support forum, even to let them know you have a sale running. The message can be changed at any time, so it may be in your best interest to periodically use the Messenger autoresponder in your marketing strategies, same as you would an email series.

Then, the Stay responsive when you can’t get to your computer or phone option is a different autoresponder that only kicks in when you’re off the clock. You can set away hours — such as when your business is closed. That way, those who contact you can be directed to your website, maybe your after-hours support team, or even just telling them that you’ll get back to them when you open up bright and early the next day. If you use this and the above option together, this one takes precedence because of its specialized nature.

And the third, Show a Messenger greeting, is a one-time-only contact. On Twitter auto-DMs are frowned upon because they are impersonal. On Facebook Messenger, having a greeting can actually personalize the encounter. People can even opt-in for bots to periodically message them. The greeting, however, will only be down to visitors on the very first time they send your Page a message. Never again. Many pages will use a question for their opening, trying to elicit a response from the user to initiate a dialogue. One very good marketing strategy is to provide a unique discount code for the first time someone contacts you via Messenger. That way, you build goodwill with them even if they are contacting you for a more negative reason.

Posting to Your Facebook Page

Like we mentioned above, the Facebook Page itself is kind of your headquarters for everything that you do on the platform. All of your Facebook marketing in some way leads back to the Page. So you probably want to work to make the Page as central to your strategy as possible. Primarily, that means posting to the Page itself to appear in your followers’ feeds to generate shares, likes, comments, and other forms of engagement.

With that in mind, you should know there are a truly absurd number of options for you to post with. We are going to be primarily concerned with text posts, image/video posts, live video streams, and stories.

With each kind of these posts, you also get to choose your posting audience (public, restricted, or specifically targeted) and posting time (scheduled for a future date, backdated to show earlier in your page’s timeline, or simply saved as a draft for later review).

Many of these are self-explanatory (scheduling, backdating, for instance), we want to dig into the ones that can really take your Facebook marketing into a new league.

There’s no set rule on how many posts you should or shouldn’t publish, but keep in mind that if you post too many in sequence, they get truncated in people’s news feeds. Instead of showing your full post, it may say something like Elegant Themes has posted 3 updates today with a thumbnail of the Page. That severely limits click-through and engagement. You want to make your posting regular, but not overwhelming. It’s definitely a delicate balance. But you will get it as you practice and learn your audience.

Text Posts

Text posts are the bread-and-butter of the Facebook world. They’re what started it all. Because of that history, you need to incorporate text posts into your Facebook marketing rotation. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but when you click inside the box that says Write a post…, the default is plain ol’ text.

You might ask your followers a question for feedback. Perhaps you need to announce that your store isn’t opening on time that day or that a menu item is no longer available. You might even just tell people good morning and spark up a casual conversation in the comments.

Text posts do well at many lengths, but if you want to do something truly long-form, you’re better off writing it on your own blog or website and linking to it. That way you get the SEO benefits in your own domain. Individual text posts don’t do well in external search engines, just with the internal FB search.

Image/Video Posts

The real money (both literal and figurative), however, is in video. And to a lesser extent, image content. It’s why Instagram (a Facebook-owned company, by the way) is so successful. People love interactive media, and they can far more easily consume your content if it’s visual. So you need to be posting images and videos as your primary content.

Not only do images and video posts get higher engagement just because people are people and act like people, but also because Facebook prioritizes them in the algorithms that dictate what content shows up in users’ news feeds. These are the posts that get shared. Even Events and links focus on featured images and videos.

So knowing all this, what can you do in terms of publishing that can help your images and video succeed? Honestly, it’s pretty simple:

High-resolution images and HD video – no one likes to see grainy and blurry content, and no one likes to share it

Bright colors and crazy designs – you want to catch people’s attention, and this will do it

Only necessary text – people scroll quickly, so your message needs to be concise enough for them to read it in seconds

Short(ish) video duration – 30-second clips are amazing because people can watch them and share them without getting bored or distracted

Long(ish) video duration – if you go into the 5-10 minute (or longer) realm, do so knowing that not every video you post should be this long. Only your very best content will get engagement at this lenth, and even then views will taper in the later portion

These aren’t hard-and-fast rules. There will always be exceptions to them. However, these do tend to be the hallmarks of the most successful individual video posts on Facebook. If your main focus is video (such as with Wistia or a media company), you have to determine what works best. Your audience may enjoy longer videos with more substance. But as a general rule for most people who aren’t video specialists, these tend to apply.

Additionally, if you have a consistent library of videos over 3 minutes long, you can have the option for mid-roll advertisements to monetize your page. These will play at set points during the video, and your visitors can wait to finish the rest of your video afterward. Note that doing this can lower engagement after the ad breaks because many people simply stop watching. So like we said above, only the best content you have should be long-form.

Live Video Streams

Probably the best way to market your business using Facebook (or YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, or any other platform that supports it) is live video. Livestreaming is incredibly popular, and if your goal is to engage your audience, livestreaming is the best way to do it. Why? Because you can actually talk with them in real time. You get to know them. They get to know you.

Livestreaming with Facebook is incredibly easy. All you need to do is click on the Live button when you start a post to be taken into the pre-show settings.

Once there, you will see two tabs. The Connect tab is for if you use an external service or software to stream. You may use Restream or OBS or even Wirecast. If you are using just Facebook, you will just fill out the info for the stream and go live with the camera attached to your computer.

One of the best features for Facebook marketing regarding live video is that you can crosspost to other, related Pages that you run. If you click on the Settings tab in the Connect window, you will see a list of Pages that can host your stream simultaneously. This is a great idea for those of you who may have different departments, each running a different Facebook page, for instance.

You can also go Live on the mobile app, too, and it’s as simple as pressing Go Live when in the app. As long as your audience has notifications set up to be alerted when you go live, or (even better) you schedule your streams so they know when to tune in, you will be able to truly find champions for your brand who come back regularly to see your new content and say hello to you.

Stories

Snapchat took the internet by storm, and pretty soon nearly every single platform had stolen (appropriated, maybe?) the concept of temporary, time-limited pictures and images. On Facebook and Instagram, these are called Stories. And on Facebook, not only can you add to the Story that belongs to your personal profile, but you can also add to the Story of a Page that you manage.

Best of all, these Page-created Stories show up in your followers’ Story feed, right alongside their friends’. In fact, the Stories (as of this writing), don’t seem to be subject to as harsh an algorithm as news feed posts (images, video, text, etc.) like we discussed above. For the most part, they appear in chronological order, based on posting time.

The only real caveat to using Stories as a marketing tool is that they are mobile only. That’s right. You can only post to your Page’s Story through the official Facebook smartphone app. Lucky for all of us, it’s incredibly easy to do. But you do have to post to your Page’s Story differently than you do your personal one. First, click on the hamburger menu in the lower-right of the corner (if you’re on iOS. Android and other platforms may be in a different spot, but the functionality is the same).

Next, choose the Page to which you want to post the Story.

Once you’ve made it to your page, scroll until you see the area in which you can post an update. It should say Write something… or a similar message. Beneath it, you will see a box called Your Page’s Story with a button that says Create Story. Press it.

You will be taken to a camera window now (provided you allow access, otherwise you can’t post a Story). You can either take a photo or video here, or you can import one from your phone’s storage. Once you’ve chosen and annotated the Story you want to post, you have two options to post it: either immediately via the Page Story shortcut (1) or by confirming details of the Story by hitting Next (2) at the bottom of the screen.

If you choose the shortcut, you get a confirmation before it goes directly to the Story.

And if you choose to press the Next button, you get a few more options to verify before moving forward with the Story. You can make sure that you’re on the right Page, first of all. The last thing you’d want to do is put up a personal story to your Page or something similar. You also get the option of sharing the Story to your Page’s news feed so that it shows up as a traditional Image post. You will have to experiment with which ones you should cross-post. Each audience is different. Stories are for more candid, slice-of-life topics. Maybe behind-the-scenes videos or fun staff profiles. News Feed posts, on the other hand, are the evergreen or more traditional posts.

Once you’ve made sure the Story is ready for your adoring audience, share it, and everyone who follows your Page should see it at the very top of their Facebook app. It will appear chronologically (as of this writing), so determining when your audience is most active can be crucial.

Also, Stories only last for 24 hours from the time of posting, so if you want to stay in people’s Story feeds, you need to post regularly to your story throughout the day.

Link Sharing

Very quickly, sharing links to your blog or website is another great way to generate engagement. But not just any articles. Only share either your newest posts (which you should do each time you publish, and then regularly afterward to make sure it get seen) or your best posts. In fact, the best way that you can leverage sharing your own content to Facebook is by integrating your site with Facebook Instant Articles. These work like the Google AMP pages where your site is pre-cached and loads instantly for users on the platform.

You will see these in your timeline often. They’re the posts with the lightning bolt next to them. By stripping out unnecessary code, Facebook Instant Articles mean that your users won’t have to wait on your page to load and get to the content they want to consume more quickly. In general, if a page takes more than 2 seconds to load, the average user will navigate away. Facebook Instant Articles fixes that.

Even if you don’t want to keep yourself that invested in the Facebook ecosystem, sharing your best and newest content will keep you in people’s minds, give them something to share, and get your brand’s message and story across, while funneling users from FB to your own website.

Of everything that you do on Facebook, link sharing is the most hit-and-miss. You pretty much need to do it but don’t rely on this being the number one source of traffic to your site or your primary lead generator. It takes a bit of work to make many of your links get through the news feed algorithm without paying for them to do so, and the time and effort that you spend on that work may be better spent elsewhere. So share away, but make this a lesser part of your overall Facebook marketing strategy when compared to live video, for instance.

Pinned Posts

Any of the above types of posts (excluding Stories that are not posted to the news feed) are capable of being pinned to the top of your Page. What that means is that anyone who visits your page will see this post first, regardless of what else has been published since. Most Pages use this for announcements or product launches. Many restaurants keep menus pinned or dinner specials. Elegant Themes often uses our Pinned Post to showcase new features for Divi that have been released.

To pin a post, just click the ellipsis (the three dots) and select Pin to Top of Page.

To unpin it, do the same thing, but select to unpin it. You also have the option of replacing the pinned post when you try to pin a new one because you can have only 1 Pinned Post at a time.

There is no right or wrong way to use the Pinned Post, but the most important thing to remember is that you should always keep it updated. Visitors will see it as incredibly unprofessional to have outdated information pinned. For example, don’t still have your Christmas sale pinned in February. Or your summer menu in December. That shows them a lack of attention, which can have an impact on your engagement and business itself.

Facebook Marketing with Groups

Groups are kind of like Facebook’s take on message boards or forums. They aren’t quite chat rooms, but they give users a place to post messages, pictures, videos, and then comment back and forth to have a discussion. Both personal accounts and Pages can set up and administrate a Group, which works out really well, depending on whether you want a front-facing individual or overall brand persona.

First, creating a Group is easy. Go to facebook.com/groups and click on the green Create Group button in the upper-right corner of the page. Additionally, you have three sections on this page:

Favorites

Groups You Manage

Your Groups

So basically, this is the hub of all your Group activity, whether you’re a member or an admin. Anything you set as a Favorite will show up as a shortcut on your primary timeline, which simplifies your life as you manage everything on Facebook itself.

You need to make two decisions when you create a group: the name (which can be changed later, but it may not be a great idea, so choose wisely), and the privacy. We suggest creating the group as Secret first so that you can get it ready for your community before it appears in search results.

The difference in Secret and Closed is that in a Secret group, only people you invite and add to the group can find it or even see it. It’s as though it doesn’t exist to non-members. Secret Facebook groups do not show up in search results.

Closed groups, on the other hand, appear in searches, and people can be invited and added just as in a Secret one, but anyone can also request to join. That request must be approved (or denied) by a group manager. If you expect a lot of requests, you can set other moderators to weed through them.

And Public groups are, well, public. Anyone can join, they show up in searches, and often require the most moderation. Depending on your topic and community goals, it may work out well for you to be Public. But we feel that Closed gives you the best community and ability to market toward specifically those who are most engaged with your brand.

Keep in mind that you must add at least one friend to a group to create it. Facebook does not want you to create solo groups (and that would be lonely, anyway). Many folks either add a spouse or significant other, or even a co-worker or colleague from the organization who may also be a manager.

Now, your Group is live. Outside of inviting people, you have two major tasks to complete that aren’t very hard. The first is to add a cover photo for the group. Many people choose to use their Group’s cover photo as a banner for the rules and etiquette expected of members. Or if you have a schedule for particular topics on certain days, you can use the Cover Photo to highlight those as in the image below.

One other feature Groups have is that you can go Live only to specific groups. If you want to only appear to a subset of your audience (maybe for a Patreon reward), this is how. Many people set up Groups just for this feature.

Choosing Your Persona in a Facebook Group

In a Facebook Group (or on a Facebook Page), you have an option to interact with the group as yourself (your personal profile) or as the brand hosting the Group or Page. If you click on the box to the upper-right that says Interacting as…, you will get a modal where you can choose who you appear as in comments and posts.

For Facebook marketing purposes, the choice is really up to you and your particular strategies. If you choose to interact personally, you can build a strong rapport between your users and yourself (and your staff, if they interact the same way). You will appear as people who are actively engaged in the community. That is the right fit for many brands and businesses, as that personal touch can be a huge boon to the way their products are received.

However, if you choose to interact as your brand, you don’t necessarily lose that personability. When a brand name interacts with people, it can make customers feel more special and can highlight that you’re a part of the community you’ve built. Not everyone knows your real name, but if they are a member of the Group or if they follow your Page, they know the branding. It can feel special for many users to get called out and talked to by major products they love.

Just choose which direction works best for your brand and try to be consistent. You can even mix it up. The daily conversation can come from your staff, but important messages or Group administrivia may need to be posted by the brand identity. The most important thing to remember when choosing your persona for Facebook Group interaction is to be purposeful and mindful of who is delivering your message and how they are delivering it.

The Groups’ Chat Tab

Because the Group’s primary function is a mini-Facebook timeline, the developers have also implemented a real-time Chat tab that lets users create conversations amongst themselves. These work similarly to Facebook Messenger, except that the conversations are essentially open-to-the-public chatrooms.

The default choice is to create chats with friends you know in the group; however, any of the chats can be seen and joined by anyone in the group. If you want a private group message, you will need to use the traditional Messenger app.

When you press the blue Create a Group Chat button, a modal appears for you to choose the initial members of the conversation. You will name it as well. If you want a real-time discussion on the year’s best WordPress themes or an on-going help and support room, just name it appropriately, add your staff (or members), and finish it up. Using Group Chats will keep your members’ timelines and news feeds clear of clutter, and their notifications won’t constantly alert them to new comments. They will see the new conversations in Messenger instead.

Facebook Marketing with Events

While not possible for everyone, using Events is a great way to get the word out about, well, major events that your brand is holding. These don’t necessarily have to be in-person events. Many Pages run virtual parties where a Live video Q&A goes on, or you might create a Facebook Event for a huge sale that’s coming up that you want people to know about. Especially if it’s a limited time deal.

Both personal profiles and Pages can host Events, and you can tie the Events to Groups as well. That way, you can get your entire Facebook marketing circle involved with one another and really reap the benefit of having built a community. The true draw of using Events on Facebook to market, though, is how Pages’ Events show up in followers’ notifications.

Not only do they show up when added, but if someone marks they are Interested or Going, they also get an alert to tell them the Event is upcoming so they don’t forget. In almost every way, Events are set-it-and-forget-it marketing. Even better, though, Events let hosts and guests post to the Event page as though it were a Group. Albeit a temporary one.

To create an Event as your Page, just hit the Events tab to the left-side of your Page. Then click on the blue Create Event button.

The modal you get now is full of details that your audience needs to know about the Event itself.

Also, you have the chance to add an Event photo. If you do not, Facebook defaults to your Page cover photo. It is a really good idea to use a new promo picture for each Event. Not only will that make your Event stand out and show that you’re serious about it, but it also won’t blend in for people who already follow your Page. They will not just assume it’s something they have already seen.

The rest of the information will depend on your event.

Event Name

Location

Frequency

Start and End Date and Time

Description

Category

Schedule (of activities, etc.)

Keywords (for search)

Kid Friendly verification

Allow Messaging to Page through Messenger

Ticket Info and Ticketing URL

Co-hosts (can be other Pages or personal profiles)

Posting permissions within the Event

Public/Private Guest List

It should be pretty obvious that filling out each of these bits of info is incredibly important. Pay particular attention to the title (be as specific as possible) and the description. You want people to know exactly what kind of Event you’re hosting and what they can expect. The more details the better.

But here’s the thing: you may have incredibly high engagement within the Event itself. Lots of people will mark Going. Even more will say they’re Interested. And very few of those people will actually show up to the Event itself. If it’s in-person, at least. Virtual events tend to be more accurate.

But even if they don’t show up, simply interacting with your Event makes it pop up in their friends’ news feed. Which gets you exposure to a potentially new audience. If they see and like the Event, there’s a good chance they will navigate to your Page and Like it. And while they’re there, maybe they go into your Group. And eventually, they could become a customer.

Obviously, these leads diminish as the steps go through like everything else. Regardless, Facebook Events are a great way to link up the disparate parts of your Facebook marketing strategy.

Use an Editorial/Social Posting Calendar

Posting willy-nilly is not a good marketing strategy. The old saying is that content is king, but really…it’s consistency who sits on the throne. You need to post regularly and make updates so that your audience knows to expect them. You also need to make sure that you miss as few days as possible in posting. The internet moves fast. And people will forget you. It’s not a nice thought, but it’s certainly the truth.

The best way to keep yourself regular is to use an editorial calendar. Or in this case, a social posting calendar. You don’t have to choose anything expensive or fancy, but just something that can keep your updates sorted so that you and your team know when and what to post.

You can choose one of roughly a zillion social scheduling and calendar services out there. Depending on your budget and needs, any of these options will do just fine. I personally know people who have successfully run major companies’ and projects’ social and content calendars using each of these platforms.

CoSchedule

Buffer

Hootsuite

Trello

Basecamp

Google Sheets

Wunderlist

Additionally, you might also get use out of a CRM suite. Apps like HubSpot and Zoho integrate socially so you can run your entire Facebook marketing campaign from within that platform and track analytics and process leads.

But even if you just write out a schedule of what kind of post you need to make and when on a piece of paper and stick it on your desk with tape, as long as you follow what it says, you’ll do great.

Use a Facebook Login on Your Own Website

If you’re really dedicated to Facebook marketing, the devs at FB have made it incredibly easy to integrate everything of yours and theirs together. Between the Facebook Pixel LINK LINK LINK to the OpenGraph login, you can really take advantage of all the tools at your disposal.

Letting your users log in via Facebook is actually very simple. The first thing you will choose is what kind of permissions you need access to. You can request dozens upon dozens of data points. But don’t. Really. Users tend to opt-out if you can’t guarantee how you’re using their data (not to mention the GDPR requiring disclosure of it, too).

No matter what you choose to access, whether it’s just the email address, or the user’s friends and Page Likes (or something else entirely), you just need to start with clicking the My Apps > Create New App button in the upper-right of the Facebook Developers’ home screen.

From there, you will name your login app (but make sure you don’t include any trademarked terms so that you don’t get in trouble with the folks upstairs) and put in your email address. You’re ready to now press Create App ID.

Next, select that you want to create a Facebook login and press Confirm.

On the next page, you will enter your details, your contact info (for the GDPR), and the website URL where the login and app will live. To do so, scroll to the bottom of the page, click where it says + Add Platform, and pick website.

Or you can press Quick Start after you enter the URL, and you can get started…quickly.

You get the JavaScript code to add to your site immediately.

After which, you can test the integration with a simple Like button. And then move on to actually install the Login button the same way.

From that point on, it’s just going through what Facebook calls the Plugin Configurator and putting the code where you want it on your website.

Once that’s done, your users will be able to easily interact with your site and app as seamlessly as possible, letting you better keep tabs on how your Facebook marketing strategies are paying off.

Facebook Ads

So the real elephant in the room is the Facebook Ad network. They’re everywhere. In your news feed, in the news itself, and conversation on every single platform out there. People are talking about Facebook ads. And for good reason, too. They have an insane ROI, but they also take a lot of work to get right and have that return.

There are multiple kinds of Facebook ads, so let’s look at what they are and if they’re right for you.

You can find the Facebook Ad Center in the toolbar of your Page. It will be a tab near the end. When you click on it, you’ll be taken to an analytics page and a lot of options to run ads. Other tabs have links back here, too. Insights is the primary one you will use that way.

When you click on + Create Add, you see the different types of ads you can add.

If you’re willing to pay for Facebook ads, you can put all sorts of things into a very specific audience’s news feed.

Boost any post you create with your Page to get more engagement

Promote that your visitors can send you one-on-one private messages through Messenger

Just promote the Page itself and let people Like it from their news feeds

Get website visitors by showcasing your external site, and each click leads them to your home page

Include an email collection form so that you can contact interested user directly

Each of these ad types works and has a high chance of working because of how you can drill down into your audience. No matter which type you choose, the most important aspects of your ad campaign are

Audience and demographic targeting

Duration of the campaign

Budget

Choosing your audience is the most important aspect of Facebook marketing with ads. You can basically drill down and target a very specific portion of the Facebook user base. The main ways you do this are by choosing

whether the ads are shown to just men, just women, or to everyone

the age range from which you want to display ads to, where between 13 years old to 65+

the location of whom you want to target, from a country to a state/province, to a county, or even city

their public interests and Page likes

When you finish choosing these (and you should absolutely spend a lot of time making sure that you create and save the best audience you can so that you can refine it over time), Facebook will present you with an overall estimate of the maximum number of people within your reach. For the example below, we have targeted a potential 1.4 million people.

The budget is probably the most limiting factor because you only have so much cash that can go toward advertising. There is a ceiling on how much return you can get for your investment. It will take lots of experimenting to figure out what that is. Your budget ties directly to the duration of your campaign, too. You have the option to run an ad for 1, 7, or 14 days. Facebook will distribute your total budget over the course of that time. They will also tell you how many people you can expect to reach. That number (obviously an estimate) is based on the audience you chose. They also amortize your daily spend based on these factors.

And when you finish everything and set the ad to go live, your Ad Center tab will report the results back to you.

Additionally, you should be able to track the performance of your campaigns in a general sense by checking out the Insights tab. Here you willsee trends and data for your Page and overall engagements. You can also compare yourself to competitor Pages to see where you both stand.

As you track the numbers and look at your Page analytics and refine your audience, you will see an increase in ROI across the board with Facebook ads.

Final Thoughts on Facebook Marketing

I hesitated to say that these are the final thoughts on the topic because it is such a large subject. But the information in this article should give you a pretty solid overview of the potential that Facebook holds. Potential for lead generation, community building, advertising, and so much more. The Facebook developer team has spent a lot of time and effort to make their methods of data acquisition a marketer’s paradise. If you aren’t taking advantage of that work, you’re missing out on a lot of benefit for your brand.

When you take Pages, ads, Stories, and livestreams into consideratio, along with the Groups, Events (which you can also boost and promote with the ads interface, by the way), and the rest of the platform, you should be able to truly excel in the Facebook marketing world. It may take some time to get used to it and integrate it all into your strategies, but when you do, you won’t be sorry. And neither will your audience.

What has your experience been with Facebook marketing? Share your stories, tips, and tricks in the comments!

Article featured image by Anikei / shutterstock.com

The post Facebook Marketing: How to Grow Your Business Using Facebook appeared first on Elegant Themes Blog.

😉SiliconWebX | 🌐ElegantThemes

[satorikun]

Justice League (SPOILER) Review

JUSTICE HAS ARRIVED 

Justice League (SPOILER) Review

So finally the most anticipated DC superhero boyband assembled movie is relased! The reviews are in, and as expected there are many who I can mention that most of them are okay with this film, but some of them are NOT really like it. So what’s the problem exactly?  This review will full of SPOILERS so read on your risk, if you haven’t seen the movie, just go ahead to the cinema and get back to discuss. 

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

The film starts with Batman investigate about parademons and the three mother boxes which based on Luthor files. Bruce and Diana try to convince others to join the party and help them finished the mission. Their counterparts; Steppenwolf, collecting three mother boxes from Amazon , Atlantis, and Cyborg, he is way too strong for them all. They need big gun to fight big enemy. Ta-Da, yes you are right they think about resurrecting Superman but Diana think this is bad idea. The Superman resurrection ritual is workin, but not really, because that’s not Superman that they know.  They have to continue their mission by their own, because their last chance is not working. Thank God there’s Lois Lane, so Superman is back again for real now, very happy, as he put lots of smiles. In the End, the League is defeating Steppenwolf easily. And they stand together as the camera shot them in the back, It was so epic, i cried. So yeah, that’s it! pretty simple right?

Okay let’s start with what I like from this film

- PROS - 

1. THE CHARACTERS, My God they finally share the screen together ALL IN full of glory. I like how the interaction between the gloomy Batman, the beautiful badass-princess Diana, the awkward Flash, the loner Aquaman, and the robocop Cyborg who literally have no emotion throughout the film. All of them are superb! But if I can tell Ezra Miller as Barry steal the most, as his one-liner jokes are everywhere make it so fun to watch. Ben and Gal reprise their amazing role as The Bat and WW, they have pretty intense debate scene about resurrecting Superman. Ray Fisher is also cool as Cyborg, too bad with a short runtime we dont get a glimpse of Victor Stone before Cyborg which is pretty sad. Also Momoa’s Aquaman got a little arc here, since they cut a lot scene for the duration. One scene that maybe the not-so-shocking moment is that SUPERMAN IS FINALLY RETURN!! But it’s not the same rage superman that we saw on the previous films. HE CRACK A SMILE A LOT. With a little screentime Henry Cavill delivers a real Superman everyone wanted since Man of Steel. His interaction with the  scarlet speedster is probably the best thing from this film. 

2. THE ACTION SEQUENCES. I can guarantee that this film has 80% of action scenes, and they all look beautifully crafted! The opening scene which include Batman and Wonder Woman scene is straight to the comics, it was intense battle on the sewer with Steppenwolf, and my favorite is not the last battle scene, but when SUPERMAN goes rampage over them all after his resurrection, The Flash is running on the speed force when suddenly Supes can see him and battle him in the speed force!!!! /screaming. Also my second favorite is when Steppenwolf try to retrieve motherbox from Themyscira army, that scene was so epic to watch. 

3. THE FUN AND HUMOR are real works, thanks to Whedon touch of comedy. It’s really lighten the tone, but not too overwhelmed.

4. CINEMATOGRAPHY, Snyder know how to make a very jaw-dropping cineatography for his film. Every scene shots in a really aesthetic way,  It was like moving painting. DOPE

5. TWO AFTER CREDIT SCENES. Yes this time they throw 2 credits scenes! The first one is just a fun scene from the comic when Superman and Flash have a race. And the second one is the scene where Lex Luthor siting on his boat (he had escape Arkham) talking to DEATHSTROKE a freakin Deathstroke he then finished his line about making a League (refers to League of Doom?) to set up for the next JL movie or Idk, I just want to be surprised!! It was great scenes. 

.....and what I don’t really like? 

- CONS-

1. THE PACING AND STORY, regarding to WB mandate that the film must be under 2hrs makes the pace feels rushed, straightfoward, marvel-ish superhero flick. It didn’t really got the feels since they CUT A LOT of scenes intro for some characters arc (about 50 mins) and due to re-shoots, there are some scenes which we saw in the trailer but didn’t make it for the final cut: 

The original story for Victor before he Cyborg, 

Barry meeting with Iris West and use his power for the first time breaking glasses, 

Alfred talk to someone

There are scenes for Zeus and Ares too (I found out their names on credit scenes) and also a GREEN LANTERN! 

Batman saw the hologram of someone with red capes 

Clark say yes for the engagement

Black Superman is never happen (then why they gave us hints months ago?) etc. 

And as I following the news, they also cut lots of Mera-Aquaman scene, Steppenwolf motivation for the motherboxes, and changes several scenes. It’s sad the final product is not really Snyder vision that he wants to deliver for the fans. Right now, I just feel that extended cut version will help to fix this. As BvS extended cut is way better than theatrical released. If this is some kind of marketing to get more people buy the DVD than shame on them. 

2. STEPPENWOLF, there a lot of people saying that Steppenwolf’s CGI is really bad for a big budget superhero film nowadays. And I give a nod for this statement. He’s just a plain CGI villain with a very mainstream motivation. I can’t get a feeling that he’s so dangerous for human kind, not a single scene convince me that he’s a threat. Some people also pointed out about the CG for Henry Cavill mustache that added because he cant shave it for Mission Imposibble he also working on, yes It feels weird, but as you enjoy the story that will be not a big problem I think. 

3. SPEED FORCE EFFECT, I really love The Flash, and what they did in TV series actually better than what I saw here. I can’t wait for the moment Flash steal the show with his power as Quicksilver amazing sequences in X-Men DOFP. Unfortunately no single action scenes showed his best performance here (beside that race scene with Superman)

4. THE SCORING. Danny Elfman is a great composer, I bet you still remember how epic Spider-Man 2 score is. But no, it’s not working really well with Snyder films. MoS and Bvs both have the gritty, epic, grande scoring thanks to Hans Zimmer and Junkie XL. Their score is the soul for those films, but I don’t feel that way in here. Elfman use that old Batman an Superman score which is don’t work anymore for Snyder version, I swear I also heard something that feels like Avengers 2 score. It’s simply a let down, I wish Zimmer and Junkie XL will be back. 

I really wish this is not the end, and fans will always give the support also Snyder would love to continue what he started in DCEU. I love the grittiness, the mature storyline, the cinematography, they have something more to show unlike any Marvel or other superhero films, makes it unique and loveable for the fans. It’s just pretty sad that this film though a lot of issues regarding Snyder departure in the middle of post-pro, and Whedon trusted to give the final touch. 

I am more like Marvel-guy over DC but I love this film more than Thor:Ragnarok. Besides of their flaws, this film gives more energy and more meaningful story for me.