#Okay I DO know what a parasocial relationship is (sort of) I just hate the rhetoric

[im-smart-i-swear]

very importrant oc diagram

more in depth descriptions of this stuff below ig

omg same trauma - sympathy and respect but also acknowledging youre not the same. propably the most normal out of the three options. you know very intimate stuff about this person but you have never met and its weird. you live your life normally but sometimes you wonder what it would be like to meet him

i will never be as cool - constantly comparing yourself to him to the point a big chunk of your personality still revolves around your connection to him (in ryous case this is mixed with seeing shiro as a sort of idealised perfect father figure despite never having interacted with the guy before)(its really weird and he tries to be secretive abt it but the others knows anyway)(like kiddo they can tell)(youre not subtle at all). he is soooo good and so pure and perfect and you will never live up to that no matter how hard you try. there must be something wrong with you

gender dysphoria - what it says on the tin. you have this guys memories and voice and body and face and it makes you want to scream and cry and kill him and bury his body in the woods so nobody can ever find it

(also to clear things up this diagram and the explanations are written from a point in the timeline before the whole 'stickbug gets mind controlled' thing so the clones havent met shiro yet)(also also obv this is pretty simplified)

[badaleesbish]

I want to see something where Bada gets idol!reader pregnant and their relationship is public. I dont have a plot just want to see something cute. Maybe throw in some drama cause why not

Down bad bada is a must

What A Life. | Bada Lee x Reader

°SUMMARY:

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐."

"𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎."

~ 𝙹𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝙰𝚒𝚔𝚘 - 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 (𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎)

°CW:

𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚐!𝚙 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚏𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎 (𝚛. & 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚊), 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳‼️ 𝚂𝙾𝚁𝚁𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂‼️

There is a lot to being an idol. From having some sort of talent, just simply being a pretty face to look at to strict diets and contracts, hectic overloaded schedules, and toxic groups and companies, but there is something that is expected of you is an idol. Can you guess what it is...

Being the only one for your fans, a parasocial relationship if you will. You are supposed to stay pure and innocent for your fans, no sex, no relationship, no children, no drinking or smoking, no potty mouth. You are supposed to keep your fans as happy as possible, whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. Just do it with a smile, they say. Well, so much for not "breaking" the "idol rules."

You may have screwed up a few months into your solo career as an idol. Your relationship with your choreographer, Bada Lee, was exposed by fucking sasaengs and then was quickly picked up by Dispatch, fucking snitch. There was some hate with comments on your social media like,

"Unnie, you are not ashamed for abandoning us like this?"

"Well... there goes her career."

"Noona, a woman, seriously?!?!? Maybe you should get a real MAN?!?!"

"Wow, so we fuck our choreographers now."

"STAY AWAY BADA, YOU DIRTY CUNT!!!"

But despite the hate, you and Bada decided to go public with your relationship, which gained quite a bit of support with comments from both your fanbases,

"Come on, guys, just admit it. They are cute as fuck."

"Love it!!!"

"Both of my worlds are colliding. What the actual fuck?!?!?."

"My parents are so cute!!!"

"Made for each other fr."

"Look at how they look at each other."

You both were happy. Your careers were skyrocketing, and you two still had somewhat of a supportive fanbase together and solo. Your company were somewhat supportive but still made you apologize to fans to regain their trust again.

"So what you are telling me is that I have to apologize for falling in love?" You scoffed as you sat across from your manager and a couple of members of your staff. "Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"Well, ma'am, you signed a contract that states everything regarding the dating ban as well as the consequences that may follow if broken." Your manager said, pushing the contract towards you as well as pen and paper to follow. "It's there in black and white, ma'am."

"So what's next? Are you gonna make me apologize for getting married and starting a family, too? You said as you began to write your heartfelt apology to your fans.

"Well, let's just hope that doesn't happen, right?" Your manager said as he leaned back in his seat with a smirk on his face. "You are our money maker, sweetheart, so we kind of need you. Tell your bitch to wrap that shit up, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." You scoffed as you pushed the pan and paper back towards him, standing from your seat as you made your way to the door. "Also, if I were you, I'd watch what the fuck I say since ya know, I am your money maker."

"So what do we do with it?"

"Bada, you don't have to do anything. I have to handle this."

"It should be fairly easy, right?"

Bada was quite confused about the whole situation. It's like, at one moment, you were perfectly fine and then you end up sick at the simple scent or taste of a food. At first you both thought it was your menstrual cycle until you realized you were a whole two weeks late. It can't be, right? There's no way... Is there?

"Okay, I'll just read the instructions and just go for it. What's the worst that could happen?" You grabbed the bag of pregnancy test and made your way to the bathroom with Bada hot on your heels. "Baby, just let me take the test, okay? Alone, please?"

"Yeah, of course. If you need me, just call." Bada said, kissing your forehead before backing up allowing you to walk into the bathroom. "I'll be right here, okay?"

You nodded as you closed the door behind you. Nerves began to rush over your body as you pulled the test from the bag and began to read the instructions.

"Okay, step one, remove the plastic cap and use immediately. Step two, hold the absorbent tip in urine stream for five seconds. Step three, replace cap and lay test flat. Step four, wait 1 to 3 minutes for results." You read, taking deep breath after the mouth full. "Alright, seems simple."

After five tests, constant hand washing and the struggle of just trying to pee on the stick, you were finally done and now is the even more nerve-wracking part, waiting for the results. The three minutes seemed like hours, but it was time, and to be honest, you were scared shit less. If these tests come out positive, what will this mean for both of your careers?

"Bada..." You called out for your girlfriend on the other side of the door. "Come in here now."

"What does it say? Baby, why are you crying?" Bada said as she rushed into the bathroom to see you sitting on the floor with a test in your hands as tears stream down your cheeks.

Bada looked over to the other tests on the counter. Her hands flew over her mouth as she let out gasp. "Positive... it's positive."

Bada sat next to you, wrapping her arms around your body as you sob into her shirt, still gripping to test in your hand. You are pregnant, and there's no going back now. It's not that you don't want children, you do, but not this early and not like this. You wanted to getting married and be settled, no more idol life just you, Bada and your baby living somewhere discreet and outside the public eye.

"What are we gonna do, Bada? What about my career? What about your career? The fans? The company?" You began to play out everything in your head of what would happen if the public found out. All the backlash and more negative comments. "I'm scared, Bada."

"Hey, it's you and I, okay? Don't worry about all of that. If this was not meant to be, then it would have never happened." Bada lifted your head as she wiped your falling tears, gently caressing your cheeks. "It's okay to be scared, baby. This is new for both of us. We're gonna take it one step at a time. Together."

You smiled weakly as you leaned into her touch, nodding in agreeance. "I love you."

"I love you too." Bada said, pulling you into a kiss. "We got this."

"We got this."

°AN:

Ummm... I really hope you enjoy this, and I am sorry for the VERY late response. Enjoy, tho!!! 💙

[sanityshorror]

My Basic Boundaries & Rules, PLEASE READ

(and actually read the entire thing, thanks.)

• General:

I'm actually a very laid back person, but I'm going to be absolutely blunt and outright here, if you find that to be unacceptable, I frankly don't care. DNI if you aren't capable of comprehending my bio, if you haven't read it, read it then come back.

My blog is dedicated to my work on The Hellcrew. I may post other things occasionally but keep in mind my blog is ultimately for my creations and not a personal blog or a fandom blog.

My work is intended for an adult audience and is primarily in the extreme horror genre.VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED.

I DO NOT CONDONE THE HARMFUL ACTIONS AND I FIND THE HARMFUL SHIT MY CHARACTERS DO TO BE ABSOLUTELY REPREHENSIBLE. These dark topics are supposed to be disturbing and meant to be upsetting, make you uncomfortable, etc.

RULE REMINDER: Anyone who is under 18, block the tag #hellcrew18+ and DNI with anything tagged as such. This has always been a rule but I feel like I should remind people.

Do not DM me unless you're 18+, plain and simple.

No shipping discourse, I find both sides of it to be annoying. I am a splatterpunk author and horror artist, and I am not a fandom creator either, all my content is my original creations. shipping is not my priority as a creator.

• Regarding my creations:

Please actually understand what my characters are like in canon before you get too attached. It's fine to HC them in complete OOC and AU ways. But it's not okay to lash out at me in anger when you get attached to my characters through the art and your headcanons, only to find out you're incredibly bothered by the canon - and don't even go there trying to tell me what to do with my characters. I will do what I want, I created them. You have fun with HCs and AUs. IDC if you love my characters but hate me. Just don't harass me (or anyone, for the matter)

Don't ask me if your OC can know Julius and/or Killian (or any other canon Hellcrew character)-- the answer is no.

You're welcome to make a Hellcrew OC but do not claim your OC is a canon member of the Hellcrew or talk in a way that implies your OC and/or HCs are canon.

You don't need to share your every nsfw thought about my characters to me. Seriously, it got old a very long time ago. I don't answer asks like this and asking more isn't going to get me to answer.

• Regarding myself:

Please refrain from forming any sort of parasocial relationship with me in any manner. We do not know each other. Certainly don't trauma dump and/or over share to me, I am extremely uncomfortable when people do this and it puts me in a weird place.

Please keep in mind that I am not my characters, and that I am a real person. It's very dehumanizing when people treat me as if I'm just some vessel to the characters, and as if the characters are the real people. This is something I've experienced many times, it's genuinely hurtful and incredibly dehumanizing.

It's fine to be obsessive over my characters/creations (I don't care whether it's positive or negative) but it's extremely not okay to obsess over me - positive or negative, in any manner. It makes me beyond uncomfortable.

DO NOT bring drama, try to start drama/"stir the pot" etc to my blog and with me in general. I do not have time for drama and want nothing to do with it. It's stupid. If you don't like me or my creations, that's fine - please block me. If I at any point feel uncomfortable towards anyone, I will block them. There is no reason to try to start drama. It's not entertaining, it's incredibly stressful. I want no part of it. If you're incapable of following this rule, you are the problem. This rule should generally apply universally (yes, even in real life).

If I block you, that means you make me uncomfortable and/or I want nothing to do with you -- don't make accounts or attempt in any manner, to circumvent that. it's fucking creepy, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

I'll add more if I can think of more. I'm horrible at and feel anxious over setting my boundaries, because I often feel guilty and like I'm going to upset people and/or they will not even be regarded (which, yes, has already happened countless times since I set my boundaries). Please be respectful.

[gaykey]

I’ve mostly been a lurker, I just wanted to thank you for your posts these past couple of days. as a poc shawol it felt cathartic and comforting somehow that I wasn’t the only one completely shaken and feeling all embarrassed about how intensely I was reacting to this whole thing. Also wanted to say that it’s okay to feel conflicted about wanting to continue enjoying their updates. I’m a mess too after their apologies, especially when I feel like I’ll be betraying a huge part of myself if I unquestioningly jumped back into it all, even though I want to love them like I used to. infuriatingly, like key himself, I might randomly feel the urge to smack him or taemin upside the head in the future. It’s what I feel rn when their faces come up in my feed, and it’s so weird, it makes me so mad at myself, because they’re not my friends and I shouldn’t be feeling any of this! Maybe I should just applaud and wow them for the amazing artists that they are, and dial back on watching the rest of their content. I’m very glad they apologized, it did feel good, maybe, to see that. I don’t know anymore. I just need a lot and lot of time to settle into myself again. At least all this made me take a long hard look at all the behaviors I’ve unthinkingly picked up to emotionally regulate. I hate that a lot of the fandom are using similar conflicted feelings as an excuse to downplay what they did, and people’s reaction to their comments. to all the fans saying no one’s perfect, and poc like me are overreacting, I should get over myself now they’ve apologized- you’re absolutely right, no one’s perfect, and if I can’t find it in me to move past it, I suppose I wasn't a ‘true shawol’, and I should get the hell out when I can. I’m riding that emotional rollercoaster and feeling exhausted, so sorry for the long mindless rambling. maybe the best way for me to continue to be a shawol and not ignore what happened as a poc is to get some space, be there for myself and understand why I’ve formed whatever parasocial relationships I seem to have formed. I want to continue admiring them, because they and the fandom were the reason for a lot of changes in me. Maybe this will be another one of them. Please know you’re not alone in your feelings, and thank you so much for all your posts!

hello anon!

first of all, that's nice of you <3 i'm glad that my presence has brought you at least a little bit of comfort during this shit show. and no need to apologise for rambling. i do that a lot lol, sometimes you just gotta rant a bit and get it off your chest.

but isn't it weird how we feel all these conflicting emotions of guilt, and relief and anger and sadness and all sorts, over kpop men 😭

like, i get WHY of course, but, it's all a sign that maybe we should take a step back from all of this, like you said. and i've made the decision to do that.

mmm a lot of the fandom reaction is what has pissed me off the most too, twitter took years off my life. absolutely wild takes.

yep, i'll always continue to love them. i've supported them for literally half my life, but, it's time for a break.

[adhoption]

Nathan. Get a grip. An Indigenous person made a post years ago about how the bugs from the place they live are not in fact out to personally get people but are indeed just bugs. You make multi-paragraph replies where you get angry about the post "not taking into account that wasps will also just sting you with next to no provocation". You did the exact thing they were complaining about in the original post. They made several vent posts afterwards as an outburst of irritation at the sentiments that you mirrored that have been expressed on that post dozens of times, of which you're just the latest variety, you're not special in that regard. Again, get a fucking grip.

Oh gods, what on earth are you wittering on about?

I wasn't at all angry about the post. Somebody made overreaching claims about advice working '100%' and that wasps will 'ONLY' sting in certain situations, when I have literally witnessed this not being the case, so I pointed that out. There is no emotion there. That's just... stating a fact?

That has rattled the OP wasp fan into making four or five (at the latest count!) vagueposts and replies ranting on about me, insulting me and linking me to everything from their concern about wildfires and air quality to implying I'm an anti-vaxxer... and now has you scurrying to send me some vacuous hate mail?

(Seriously, is 'multi-paragraph' a problem for you? You realise that even your message could have benefitted from a few? That quote also isn't anywhere in my reply, so I'm assuming you just invented it to have something to be mad at. Please tell me you understand how unhinged that is?)

Please, calm yourself and stop the projection. You're coming to tell me that they're 'just bugs' and I should 'get a grip?' My grip is comfortable. Look to the person who is still spitting fury over an hour later because I dared to suggest their favourite insect was fallible and there was no moral requirement to love them. Look in the mirror, and try some breathing exercises whilst you're there.

Here, before you guys start inventing any more opinions for me to hold - I have never done anything to harm a bee or wasp, have rescued many and fully understand their ecological importance, but many people find them annoying and I think that's morally allowed. If you think it's okay to say what OP is continuing to say about me, a human being, due to 'irritation', then I think people can say a bug is irritating without you leaping down their throats. Seriously, sober up and get some perspective.

You can talk about their positives all you like, but there's no justification for those sort of blanket claims or the harassment of anyone who questions them. This is the exact thing I was talking about. You can't share your basic, factual, personal experience without people who are weirdly loyal to a bug rushing to insist that they would never do such a thing. I'd say this website is like hitting a wasp's nest, but would that make you burst into tears?

Seriously, for your own sake, stop simping for an insect. I don't know if you had some sort of awakening during the bee movie, or maybe you've always been this way, but this is a parasocial relationship and it isn't healthy. For reference, normal people can hear someone say a bug is being annoying without losing their minds and lashing out. Perhaps that could be a goal for you to work towards.

[bandofchimeras]

okay this is a long shot but wondering if anyone can help me, a brain dramaged autistic person, work backwards on how to change this dynamic (as in be willing to talk me thru this)

so posting ANYTHING on facebook fills me with horrific anxiety. i don't know where it comes from or who exactly i am afraid of. suspect its that there are too many different kinds of ppl from different parts of my life on there. i once tried sorting them out into audiences who would be comfy with specific topics and themes but its a messy system & didn't work for long. so there are people who i've had added for a long time, that i worry about how they'll interpret what i say (like because of autism, i make faux pas a lot and people get hostile and misinterpret) but i don't exactly want to un-add them, which signifies end of friendship. or like we don't get to see eachother's lives. I also have a few family members left on there which leads me to selfi -censor sexual posts which all the lefty shitposters share openly. i'm probably overthinking this but i get very little engagement on fb despite having a lot of friends on there and that makes posting feel even worse (like people are seeing it and not commenting/reacting) and i see plenty of other folks with large, robust, supportive followings of friends and family. so my brain goes into overdrive like how do they manage that. i guess they don't give a fuck? or what? i understand i can't control if people like me or engage with my content. and that i could just stop posting

but facebook historically has been where i post fundraisers and when i need help. i'm slowly building irl support system but i wonder if there's any way to salvage this. i don't like who i am on there it throws me into mega mega anxiety mode and i overexplain and feel bound to my past selves. but if i stop posting entirely when i do have something important to share the algorithm will kill it dead. like...maybe starting a page would help instead of having everything associated with my personal account? i still don't know what to do with my FB. it is a log of my entire life since i was 13. exes, pre transition pics, people leftover from toxic leftbook days. just everything is on there. i don't want to delete it. i don't want it accessible to everyone. i honestly wish i had stayed on livejournal or something. fb became where i performed myself. i don't talk with a lot of people via DM bc again, anxiety about approaching people. it feels like going up to a dude in the mall, who you have known for years bc he sits at the mall playing songs and yelling about his life. but if you go up to him will he even know who the fuck you are? I think some of the anxiety is related to being plural. some of it is parasocial relationships. idk. i just hate that it exists and i still feel bound to it. and want to talk to someone about it who has a similar relationship with social media...

[inkstainsonwood]

Here to say, Anon, you're so incredibly valid. Senpai notice(d) me is such a mood. I've been where you are. Once and a half. These are my stories (and kind of advice) because, well, I know when I was where you were, you coulda told me advice, and I still would have gone through the whole feelings roller coaster I did anyway. ^^

---

The first time this happened, I was convinced it was a parasocial relationship. There was no way they actually cared about me. They must have actually cared about how much I was cheering for their fic, the long comments I left, how I drew multiple fanarts for them. Nevermind the fact that we were talking every single day. I developed a crush (and I knew there was no chance on it). I told myself there was no way I'm equal, I'm just reader. Eventually, I did write a fic, and they read it! And liked it! Joy upon joy! I had their respect! (They had, I will note, all this time, said that if something wasn't for me, don't read it, and so I was already very much of the expectation [but not hope] that they might not read it.)

But despite that, hah, did you know external validation doesn't fix all the internal shit? I hate that. So, I still wasn't in a very good spot cause oh my god this crush/squish/fawning whatever it was I was doing. I wanted to hold on so much that I brought it up in therapy. What do I do? I have so much fear around this friendship. Please fix me therapist. I just need to be internally stable. Therapist helped me look at what I had with this person, and then my therapist told me -- it might be a beautiful long friendship, but ... it also might end. You might in fact fall out of fandom, or they might fall out of the fandom, and, yeah, you might not keep the friendship. And WOW that sounded terrible to me (but, spoilers, it turned out to be a helpful thought).

Eventually there was some day I shared with them my feelings of inadequacy toward them, and they reassured me that I was in fact their friend. That I was their first friend in this fandom, and they weren't going to forget me. And, wow, yeah, that felt real great (but external validation still doesn't fix the internal shit). And as they built more of a friend group, I got to see how they interacted with other people. Which … was both great, and …. A Lot. Some night, I was having So Many Feels about it, and, well, I cried. I realized … I'm heartbroken. I'm not special. Not the way I wanted to be. And that I had fawned, and did they even actually know me at all despite claiming that I was their friend? (I think they did consider me a friend, truly and well, even though I hadn't really let them become my friend. Even though I had opened up about being feelings toward them, I hadn't really opened up that much about me in general. I kept things fairly tied to fandom to make sure they were interested in whatever I had to say.) And I could feel that I was starting to drift from that fandom, and also from them… Maybe my therapist was right. Which would suck so much. And, over time, I did sort of … fade away from that author and group. We talk occasionally, but definitely not every day anymore.

---

The second time -- well, it's still on going, and there's a part of me that's thinking, it can't last forever. I've had this experience before. But, we talk every day, we aren't really talking about the fandom that originally brought us together, and we're planning to meet up! In person!!

It helped that this time, it was a smaller fandom. Even an author who wrote an AMAZING fic will only have a handful of readers. It helped that they were the one to tell me to reach out to them on tumblr. It helped that I had this previous experience and so I was like, okay, I know, I know people in fandom are just searching out friends and connections, and, maybe it'll only be a fandom friend, and even if I fawn, and have So Many Feelings, I will come out okay. I'll find other fandoms. I'll find other fic. I'll find other people. (It sounds so fake when you're in That Mode, though.) And, right now, I'm of the mindset, the first time with the first author had to have failed in order for the second one to have succeeded.

I had hopes, sure, but I had no expectations that it would go well. And I knew what hadn't worked, so, this time, I was more, well, me. They offered to beta my fic. I gave them the longest list of tag warnings and was like, truly, seriously, if you don't like, don't read. I have no idea if this is your cup of tea at all we've barely just met. They liked it. That gave them brainworms, and they started a fic, and I offered to beta that. All the while, life was happening, and we chitchatted about whatever till whatever hour of the night.

And! We're going to meet! In a month! We've wanted to meet since like half a year ago, but the timing has always been terrible. Early on, I tried to offer meeting at a con 'cause it's low stakes, low risk. If you don't like each other or it's awkward in person, there's lots to do elsewise. But hahahahahaha, yeah, now it's a 3-day trip. No con. You can say there's a whole city to explore, but, it's very much, you know, more about each other and not about what fandom brought us together.

---

So, what can I say? Reach out to them! If they've already followed you, chances are they want to find people to chitchat about fandom, too! And! They already like your analyses and rants or whatever it is you're posting! You have their respect! The second fic-author-turned-friend keeps telling me those are well written, and therefore I am a writer and they already know I am a good writer (which isn't to say I am a good fic writer -- but it turns out that writing is a pretty transferable skill).

Both people told me, I don't have to read their fic. They know not everything is going to be for everyone. And so the converse should be true, they don't have to read my fic. And yet! Also! They were both eager to read what I had written!! (Though it's still very unfortunate you have to put your own writing out there without knowing how it'll be received …. sigh but sometimes you just gotta.) I feel like, what I can say, is, if you write analyses (I write long comments about people's fics), you're probably already thinking about how stories work, and that sort of thought will shine through in your own fic. (But that still won't make posting less terrifying, and nor does it promise your author-senpai will read it and like it…. unfortunate, I know.)

Sometimes … it doesn't work out in the long run even though you have so much hope. And the fear that it won't is so, incredibly real. I know how all-consuming it can be. You're not alone in that. I've been there. But I also promise, you'll make it out the other end.

Good luck out there! Go make some fandom friends. :D (Do it scared!) I hope you find your fandom people!

Hello! First of all, thank you for this blog. I’ve read some of the asks you’ve answered so far and they’ve been incredibly fun and to go through and very useful <3

The problem I have is very… specific. But I figured why not share it here, you know?

A few months ago, I started leaving rants and analyses in one of my favorite AO3 writer’s tumblr ask box, regarding their fics. That kind of evolved and long story short, they’ve been following my tumblr blog for a while.

Now this obviously makes me incredibly happy. They’re not exactly popular in the whole wide fandom, per se, but they’ve kind of created a smaller fandom within the original fandom through their fics and art (which are mostly AU longfics, and art for said AUs), so this basically feels like being tumblr mutuals with someone like Neil Gaiman to me.

The problem arises in the fact that I feel like I’m being watched now. This person I look up to follows my tumblr, and knows my AO3 handle, and I have only posted a single fic so far, but I have so many other fics I want to write, and I’m always so anxious to write because I keep thinking “When I post this, are they going to see it? Read it, maybe? Are they gonna hate it? Are they gonna unfollow me because they don’t like my characterization or writing?” and I keep trying to reason with myself that part of the reason I look up to them so much is that they promote a “No judgement” policy, and part of the reason they followed me is because they liked my analysis of their work, but now I’m realizing that… I want them to read my fics. And I want them to like them and maybe I want us to be friends and not just mutuals, and I want us to freak out about each other’s fics, you know?

That is worsened by the fact that… My tumblr account is fairly new. And I have a total of 3 followers including said fanfic writer, so I feel the pressure to post fics in order to grow my tumblr circle and build a community, but that directly clashes with my desire to write something absolutely perfect so they’ll like it, which then both clash with what makes writing fic enjoyable, AKA doing it for myself and writing what I want to and how I want to.

I’m aware that I can’t control what another person likes, dislikes, or does. And that I have all the time in the world to write the fics I want and those that will make me happy without regarding what other people might think. But also… fandom are communities. And I want my tumblr and AO3 to be places where I can talk about my fics with people who like them, so that desire to grow my account as soon as I can is very strong simply because I have no one else to talk to. I don’t want to talk to the void and post rants that no one will see (except… y’know, maybe my favorite fanfic writer, which is a whole other level of pressure) about fics that don’t exist yet. Another part of this is the fact that, unless I get fics out, I’m relying on the fanfic writer liking my ideas and interacting to build a community.

As much as I try to convince myself to just write without care and to stop trying to control what this person does because that is completely out of my control and kind of dehumanizing on their behalf, the anxiety doesn’t subside. I don’t know what to do.

This ask was a bit of a journey for me, anon, and it took a little bit of untangling to see where you were going with it. I think this might be the central issue you're facing though:

I want my tumblr and AO3 to be places where I can talk about my fics with people who like them ... because I have no one else to talk to. I don’t want to talk to the void and post rants that no one will see ... about fics that don’t exist yet.

You're looking for fandom friends, and you're at the start of that journey - and I think you're doing well already by reaching out to an author you like and sending them asks about their work. Being willing to reach out and talk to people is an amazing quality, anon, and I encourage you to keep doing that. Follow more people who post things that you're interested in. Drop asks in their inbox and start a conversation.

The other half of that is giving other people and opportunity to reach out to you. You can do this by posting your thoughts about the canon your fandom is tied to. You can see a ton of examples here on tumblr where folks discuss a particular moment or scene that meant something to them.

You can also reblog asks memes, like the AO3 wrapped ones I reblogged the other day. Sometimes I see people just answer all of the questions in their own reblog, but if you want people to have an opening, just leave your ask box open and see what comes through.

If you want to talk about your own work, you can post something for WIP Wednesday or Six Sentence Sunday - or just post a scene that you've been working on and ask what people think.

Everyone starts off with a handful of followers, anon. You won't dive into a lively community overnight. You also don't have to create tons of popular fics in order to make one. Join a community that already exists. Find the people you vibe with within it. This author friend of yours might be the perfect place to start.

Even our favourite people, the ones we look up to most, are still just people when it comes down to it. If this author is as chill as you say they are, I think friendship is totally possible.

I'll open it up to the blog now. Did I read this one wrong? Do you have advice for anon? Have you been in a situation like theirs?

[ivyblossom]

Creators, Fans, and Shame (mine)

This is not going to be a useful exploration that adds any value to fandom. This is just my personal fannish agony, documented in the hopes that I can leave it behind somehow.

I'm struggling to cope with the fact of a showrunner who actually seems to be pro-fan. I love it, it's amazing, I'm so grateful, it makes me happy, but then it also scares me. Can any showrunner start out pro-fan, and stay pro-fan?

Which, as I say it, sounds ridiculous. Surely people who create media like their fans. But we know the truth of it: creators have hated fans like us forever. We are used to being hated. We are used to be belittled and mocked. There's a part of my psyche that is just pure shielding at this point because I'm so used to it that I've gotten pretty good at blocking stuff out.

You know what stuff: I think I still have a copy of a cease & desist letter from a creator's laywers addressed to a fan for deigning to make fanfiction available on the internet: that's the kind of reaction I'm familiar with and used to. (It wasn't addressed to me, it was to someone I knew, but weren't we all making fanfiction available? Wasn't it sort of directed at all of us?) And all the laughing interviews, the jokes, the dismissal, being framed as stupid, vapid teen girls (why must everyone hate teen girls? I ask you) actors reading fanfiction in front of an audience for gross, humiliating laughs (my heart goes out to the fan writer that happened to: I cannot imagine, I just cannot), the discomfort with our existence, the dismay that we have voices and react to things, the outrage. We get embarrassed by it. We police each other to try and prevent it (I am guilty of this, and I'm sorry).

We have often been fans in spite of creators who behave this way towards us. The communities we build around a shared language and the stories we tell becomes more important to us than the original content. Fanwork is often criticism: a repair job, a rescue, a different, better narrative choice, or character choice. Does this kind of negative creator reaction to fandom make negatively-inspired fanwork more likely? I don't know.

It's tough when you admire creators so much and they turn around and sneer at you and laugh at you. It feels very personal and humiliating. Don't meet your heroes, etc. etc. right? I feel very weird about all this, because these creators that I admire so much, they don't know me, they're not aware of me at all. For good or for ill, it's not about me, really. We become a mass, a collective noun. But still, it is, on some level, also about me. It is personal.

I don't know what to do with any of this. the humiliation of getting scolded by a showrunner you admire, or even the delight of their joy in fandom when it comes, honestly. Parasocial relationships are a trip. I am very embarrassed about them. When I see any of my heroes in real life I am immediately so embarrassed by my own anonymous excitement that I can only pretend that I don't know who they are. My own one-sided admiration overwhelms me. And embarrasses me. That's a me thing.

Fundamentally I'm struggling now because I've believed in creators before and been let down by them. I've believed that they understood us and wouldn't lash out and hurt us in these specific ways. And I've been very wrong.

And you know, I don't even mean the queerbaiting, honestly. I mean being framed by people we deeply admire as silly, gross, dumb idiots who got it all horribly, self-indulgently wrong, you dumbasses. That really hurts in a way that sticks.

I have my own way of dealing with the queerbaiting thing, but maybe that's also just my shielding. Maybe I've created a way to process it to make it okay because of how common it's been through my whole life, and how much I want to be able to love certain swaths of media, I don't know.

But I don't need a story to do certain things in order to love it, or for it to be queer enough for me, or whatever. My struggle is with how creators talk about fans rationally reading stories as queer. David Jenkins called it gaslighting, and I think he's 100% correct. To dismiss and deny that the reading is there and reasonable at all is hurtful in a way that I find hard to describe. Gaslighting is the right word for it, because it's an abuse tactic. And that's how it feels.

And now I'm going to get into this: I want to talk about Sherlock. (Oh god, really? Yes. Yes, I'm going to talk about it, hopefully just this once, and then let it go.)

When I first saw Sherlock S1 when it aired, I thought it was wonderfully slashy in a self-aware way, and given that it's kind of a prequel, "how Sherlock Holmes becomes Sherlock Holmes," and how they were already framing the relationship, I figured that the story would give in to the romance on some level, though I figured it probably wouldn't be in an on-the-nose way. I imagined it would be romantically ambiguous to the end, and to be honest, after 4 series, I will still argue that that's exactly what it ended up being.

I remain perfectly confident in the argument that Sherlock is very much a story about two men who fall desperately in love with each other, but have so much personal baggage that they can't do anything with the truth of that love other than wrestle with it, know that it's true and real, and have to find a way to live with the sheer impossibility of it.

Conceptually, I like that story, even if it's queerbaity. I think it's immensely tragic and beautiful, monstrous and beautiful, and while it would suck for every story to be like that, I loved a story that would play with love in that way. I loved writing fanfiction that explored and pushed through that tension. The fact of the romantic impossibility was a sort of invitation to write ways that it could happen. Is that strange? Maybe that's just a coping mechanism I've developed. Anyway. I was okay with the story. It's sort of queering the backstory of these two men in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, giving them this fraught romantic history.

There's a whole mess in there about fandom conspiracies and whatnot. I really never understood any of that and I was truly shocked by what happened in fandom when series 4 aired. I'm embarrassed that I didn't see it coming when the signs were there, and that I didn't understand it that fannish shipping had tipped over into something else that I still can't completely wrap my head around, so I won't pretend to have a useful opinion about any of that.

What hurt me the most wasn't the way the narrative about the relationship resolved. It was the way the creators talked about it the queer reading of the story, and about us, after series 4 aired. As if we were gross and silly and wrong. And ridiculous. And offensive. And they were angry with us.

I realize creators see fandom from a very different vantage point than I do, and I'm sure there's more going on than I can possibly be aware of, real life stuff, scary stuff fans may have been up to, but the dramatic reaction from the Sherlock creators dismissing all the very legible and originally self-aware romantic elements of their own story shocked the hell out of me, and made me feel...well, stupid and ashamed, honestly. Because I didn't see any of that coming on any level. I thought they understood us.

I didn't, and still don't, see anything wrong with wanting an implied queer romance to go from subtext to text. I didn't see anything wrong with arguing that it could, or even that it should. What would actually happen in the story was a whole other matter, but the fannish conversations about the potential of the narrative were fair and legit, as far as I'm concerned. I never expected to be told that I was imagining it the whole time. I trusted that Steven Moffat in particular wouldn't do that. And I'm embarrassed that I believed that he wouldn't. I'm hugely disappointed that he did.

And I'm embarrassed that I'm embarrassed, because of the parasociality of it all! Steven Moffat doesn't know me. It's not about me. But, at the same time, it is. I'm part of that collective noun. And I wasn't wrong about that story.

And now I think David Jenkins would not do that to us, and I truly believe he wouldn't, because he's already confirmed it in the text and in conversations about the text. We're free. I think he actually understands. He seems to understand it better than I do. I like the way he frames it. He's given me a way to think about all this that's actually very useful, and healing. And because this story isn't gaslighting us, there shouldn't be a whole dialogue about fans getting it wrong and stupid, sex-obsessed girls. Right?

Right?

I need a hug.

[triflesandparsnips]

time for me to talk about RPF

why now? don’t worry about it

Some brief thoughts on why it’s okay to write Real Person Fiction

Because the people being written about aren’t real.

Unless we know them personally (and I mean personally), the only “person” we know is the mask that has been crafted specifically to be shared with an audience. It is just as “real,” to be frank, as any character they play -- they know they’re being observed, and in being observed, they change. To assume that we are getting access to the “real” person, or that we have some kind of personal relationship with them because they are projecting a persona that is friendly/casual/public, is just another parasocial dreamscape.

Example time: I am not who I “am” in real life here, or on twitter, or at work, or at conventions -- although all those places constitute parts of my real life. Much like my fiction, they all contain aspects of me, parts that I want to specifically share with an audience for my own purposes. You could write about “me” and find all sorts of details about my “real” life I’ve dropped in various public locations and come up with something very close to me... but it’ll still be as close as an-AU-where-they’re-all-baristas fic is to canon. You can infer a great deal about the real me based on the persona I choose to share, but you can’t actually know me. Anything you write about me, with whatever level of understanding you have, begins and ends as fiction.

Or, as I have said to random fuckos who try to DM me pickup lines in my gd twitter:

Some brief thoughts on when Real Person Fiction is not okay

For all that it’s not real... there are people on the other side of that name. People who don’t know the context that you’re creating under, or who aren’t completely sure that you know that y’all aren’t IRL friends.

Places RPF thoughts, theories, and fiction don’t belong:

in a real person’s social media

in a real person’s loved ones’ and/or coworkers’ social media

at their goddamn homes or places of businesses, jfc

If your immediate thought to any of the above is “but I want to see if I’m right!!” then you are too close to this shit, stand the fuck down.

Example time: I once had a fandom post get some decent notes. It had a downer of a joke in it, but that was sort of the point. Some people responded, or even just tagged, with the usual hyperbolic #OH HELLO SATAN type of tumblr reactions, which is of course delicious. Some people, though, went in a direction where even I -- who knows about tumblr hyperbole and that this post would elicit it -- was uncertain about whether these people genuinely hated me.

And that’s me! Who knows the context of what I was doing and how people would respond! So imagine these actors or writers or public people or whatever who have NO FUCKING CLUE about the context. Or even if they have a clue, it’s by its nature kind of fucky because while it MAY feel like we know them, they definitely DON’T KNOW US.

(If your immediate thought to the above is that “but they could know me!! If I’m clever and friendly enough we could be buddies!!” then you are again too close, step away.)

Consider why you’re having your RPF thinky-thoughts! Is it because you want to explore an intangible thing, and these people (characters) are the best vehicle to do so? That’s valid! Our Flag Means Death uses real people as a vehicle to tell queer narratives. Clementine von Radics’s “Kim Kardashian Redux” uses real people to talk about consent, power, sexual exploitation, and revenge (nota bene: This poem also demonstrates the danger of using people who are still alive and changing for your works. CvR regrets using Kardashian now to tell this narrative. I myself have a Glee RPF that will never be finished because hooboy. Pick your vehicles, and be cognizant of their ephemerality). 

But if the reason you’re sharing your RPF thoughts is because you want to be able to ~~connect~~ irl with the person about whom you’re writing/thinking? NOPE.

(YOU CANNOT CONNECT WITH THEM. THESE PEOPLE DON’T EXIST IN THE WORLD PURELY TO PERSONALLY CONNECT WITH YOU. DON’T BE THAT DUDE WHO TRIES TO TALK TO THE GIRL WITH THE HEADPHONES ON. SHE IS BUSY HAVING HER OWN GODDAMN LIFE AND GOALS AND MAYBE SHE JUST WANTED TO BE CHILL AND LOOK CUTE WITHOUT YOU ALL UP IN HER BUSINESS, JESUS.)

(ALSO ALL GENDERS ARE CAPABLE OF BEING FUCKING CREEPY. DON’T BE CREEPY.)

Some brief thoughts on when to tell real people about Real People Fiction, Theories, and/or Art

Never.

What if it’s someone else’s Real People Fiction, Theories, and/or Art

Wow, also never.

But what if I think they’d really like it

You have no basis for believing that. Even evidence that they have sought out and read/seen RPF does not constitute consent. They chose that -- don’t take away their choice to see or not see what’s out there.

But what if that means they’ll never see this really amazing/sweet/accurate/thoughtful/hot--

Then they’ll never see it. The world is full of things that will never be seen. That’s okay. You don’t get to curate someone else’s experience of the world.

But trifles, you yourself are trying to control how we interact with Real People, isn’t that kind of related to all this “consent” stuff you’re talking about here? And while we’re at it, why not just... condemn RPF if you’re going to be so judgy about it

I mean, you’re right. I am totally trying to convince you to not creep out the people who produce the content we like. I would also try and convince you to not creep on the girl with her headphones on. I am generally against creepiness.

I do, though, think there’s a difference between “creating RPF because it tells the story we want to tell” and “sharing RPF because we think it creates a bridge over the parasocial divide.”

Humans have been telling stories about each other for a really long time because that’s how we process our experiences. I’ve seen RPF written by anonymous actors about other real actors, who are just trying to process their own goddamn issues about acting. And I personally like actor/author RPF, but don't generally give a damn about most any other (I barely count historical people showing up in fic as RPF), because so much of “creative person” RPF is about figuring out how to balance the personal with the public, and/or dealing with this deeply weird art of personifying Others for stretches at a time-- and how you do it, and what it does to you. Because that is a thing that I think about a lot as it relates to my own life! For me, processing that through writing about other actors/authors, rather than oneself, adds a layer of very necessary abstraction. 

But my fiction is not made to connect to some specific person. I write it because it says something I need to say, and/or it says something others might need to hear. The moment I get particular about it -- with a stranger -- is when the RPF stops serving its purpose as a tool for telling stories, and becomes a hammer to break down walls I have no right to breach.

thank you for coming to my ted talk, yes I’m thinking about this because I am considering the ethical implications of putting OFMD RPF out into the world

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

[lovelyisadora]

OH now that ur back,, simon and marcia :O

(welcome back!!)

hehehe i love them your honor:

· he was old enough before everything got fucked that he has memories of her before she was extraordinary wizard. they called her aunt marcia just because she hated it. he mostly remembered that she never seemed to want anything to do with them—not him, not sam, and certainly not the twins, but there was an odd moment or two where she’d let him sit with her and she’d answer every exhaustive question he had

· he can’t reconcile who she is with who he thought she should be. he resents her for it, hates her for it, until he finally sees that it was his fault for forming a parasocial relationship with her

· he invites her to his wedding because she’s sort of family? she’s whatever she is to his dad and she’s basically his youngest brother’s mum, and he’s inviting uncles and cousins he’s never met so it would be rude if he didn’t invite her. he isn’t expecting her to come because hey, he tried to have her murdered, but she shows up and it’s weird

· he is so sick of being messenger for her and marcellus to the point where she opens her mouth one day and he thinks she’s about to tell him to tell marcellus to fuck right off, so he snaps. “tell marcellus he can fuck right off yourself, thanks,” and she blinks at him, startled. she was only going to ask him if he’d help her out with something, since septimus is busy doing who knows what, and simon is like, “fuck, forget I said that.”

· after she saves william’s life (and uses a lot of her energy in the process; simon isn’t stupid and he saw her nearly collapse after) and after lucy and william are both okay and he’s certain of it, he seeks her out and hugs her so tightly he nearly knocks her over

· working together as alchemist and extraordinary wizard allows them to repair the relationship they never really had until they really do act as aunt and nephew

· magyk is supposed to be balanced light and darke, but marcia is decidedly unbalanced because she refuses to touch anything darke. if anything darke ever needs to be done, simon is her first choice because she doesn’t want septimus doing it

[nohitinnings]

okay no literally i just started having chronic migraines this past like eighteen months and also just started really heavily following the flyers this year (i've been like a casual fan since i started watching hockey but they were one of the only teams i could stream like legally that i didn't hate so i watched a LOT of them this season) and like at first i was like obviously sucks he went through that but like it's always neat to like have a public figure you like that you know is going through what your are and then i got on here and everyone was like "he didn't use pride tape cause it would give him migraine 🥺😔" "that's probably why he isn't on social media much cause seeing what people were saying about him made him stressed and made it worse" like ????? please stop pathologizing someone you don't knows behavior based off a list of causes and symptoms you read on webmd????? and also maybe talk to someone about your parasocial relationships

sorry for the late response, ironically enough i woke up with a migraine haha.

i've suffered from headaches my entire life and chronic migraines for about six years now. things that trigger them: lack of sleep, adrenaline, dehydration, etc. things that do not trigger them: pride tape, social media comments, the city of los vegas.

when nolan patrick was diagnosed with a migraine disorder, i absolutely wasn't happy, but i sort of collect players with headaches the way i collect hockey cards. i wrote an entire commentary for my sports literature class about his migraines and the response to them. i've defended him a lot due to my very real, lived experience as a person with headaches.

that being said, some people on this site have no grip over what migraines are like. everyone's experience is unique and different, but just because lights can trigger them doesn't mean that exposure to the las vegas strip is going to pulverize his brain. i don't know nolan patrick and neither does pretty much anyone on this site. at the end of the day, we can't make decisions about how things are going to affect him because we just don't know.

what we do know is that he is a grown man with the medical team of a professional sports league at his disposal. he will be fine and the wack-ass infantilization of him in hockey tumblr circles is problematic at best and downright awful at worse.

tl;dr: please talk to people with migraines before posting.

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Just a small thing that you can definitely ignore if you want and I know this might be bad to say or even selfish but I just.. miss the old Schlatt? not the one who's now doing this content and making hurtful jokes just for money. because every day I'm losing more and more hope that off camera, he's a genuine person?

Or I just want him to improve and become better? I don't know, I know I might be selfish for being like that and I do recognise that parasocial relationships do exist and he is merely a stranger to me but I just want him to become better and to be better. curse me and my heart where I just want the best for everyone, even if I don't know them. c': I think I miss the old Schlatt - because I feel like even this persona he has is not doing him any good?

This might be a thought but you know when you look at someone and you can just see or feel that their mindset is affecting them - especially when it's affecting them negatively? I noticed that with him. Again, I know I'm a mere stranger and I don't know anything about him but even with strangers you can notice this? When he was on a break from that sort of content while he was moving, on the update "I'm Back" video he had a better energy? But when he started to embrace that persona again, his energy is just becoming worse and worse. the only times his energy was better again was when he had the moments with Jambo?

I don't know. I'm just going on a ramble at this point but I just wish he became better?

This is the exact reason I still watch the guy! I completely get where you're coming from, and it can be hard to have these sorts of conversations without speculating about what goes on 'behind the scenes' (something we know Schlatt is uncomfortable with and is possibly one of the reasons he puts on such a contrary persona).

I agree that his content has taken a downturn lately. But I don't think it's the fault of the persona, I think it's the fault of him misusing the persona. Of course he can do whatever he wants, I don't really care cause if he decides he wants to keep being a bastard then that's his problem and I'll stop watching cause that content isn't for me. However, I have some ideas about why the more recent videos have been 'worse':

His heart isn't in it. Jackbox games are fun and all but they aren't the kind of content Schlatt likes to make. In my opinion. His old channel had videoessays, but he's said before that they don't make enough money for him to keep doing that. I think he likes the little slice of life videos more because they're easy and because they're fun. I think the Wii videos were great, well-structured and good examples of well-done satire, but I feel he got a bit bored of it so he tried jackbox, which just isn't the same.

The satire doesn't work with jackbox videos. In the Wii videos it's just him and the game and some props. He plays his character and clearly makes fun of the kind of person he's portraying, or he just makes fun of himself, which is cool too lol. For example in the Wii fishing video, he plays the character of a misogynistic guy who loves fishing and hates his wife. Then proceeds to be terrible at the game and get angry to the point of making himself look like a fool. That's why we laugh! We laugh at the dumbass he's portraying. And obviously this is the same for most of the bits he does. The classic one being the gay Catholic patriot. The unexpected clash of traits makes it funny. With the jackbox vids you don't really get that. It's him and some friends. And yeah, they make fun of themselves and each other, but it has the unwanted side effect of being easy to turn into something that starts to make fun of other people, such as minorities or victims of tragedy, which isn't okay.

Mans is just trying to get a rise out of people. We all know this. The last video was purposefully offensive to try to scare the dream stans away. Which was dumb, and he shouldn't have done it, but I get why he did it. With everything that's happened recently, I'm sure Schlatt doesn't want to be associated with that sort of fanbase. Unfortunately, he went the wrong way about scaring them off.

Moving, the entire thing with lunch club and cmc, getting a cat, and Connor moving in, all while making near-weekly videos, two podcasts, and being on streams. That's a lot to think about, which is probably another reason for the lazier content and falling back on 'easy' jokes that often turn out offensive.

What I'm saying is that I feel he's in a rut. He hit a dead end, tried to fix things, then fell off and made a shitty video as an attempt for controversy. If I'm right, then I feel that he's gonna take a bit of a break (he's already taken a pretty long break if you look at how long it's been since the last video on his main channel) and come back when he's actually ready to do some better content.

The video was bad, and I get why people don't feel comfortable watching him anymore. I've made my peace with it and I'm hoping for some better content soon. But not too soon!

Lots of his friends have spoken about the whole thing, and the general consensus is that yeah, it was bad. I think Connor talked about him and Schlatt seeing a kid watching The Video and Schlatt having this 'oh shit' moment? I might be wrong, if anyone has a link to the clip or stream where Connor talks about this lmk. But regardless, I think mans is taking a break and sorting himself out. There are also rumours he might stream soon but idk idk.

I feel that off-camera he's a completely different person. Minx said she sees it that way, Ty also said he's very respectful and chill off-camera. So I don't think he's a bad person (I don't think he's racist or anti-Semetic, he fucked up but I highly doubt he believes that shit irl and I think claiming that he does is just performative and kinda weird. I understand microagressions are also very bad and can be used by racists/be racist but on their own they do not make you a racist especially if it's poor taste jokes that went too far etc).

You're right though, he definitely wanted to make money. That didn't really work out for him though (if you look at the stats on The Video, it performed terribly) so I doubt it's a mistake he would make again.

For now, if you want to see better content that (I think) reflects Schlatt in a better light (aka he's still doing a bit but he's much more chill and less of a bastard about it) I recommend the chuckle sandwich podcast and sleep deprived podcast. He's on OTK streams a lot too but that sorta thing isn't really for me.

Also stan connoreatspants bringing us Jambo content all the time. 🙌

Idk if that was helpful, but it's more a gesture of solidarity since I agree with and feel everything you're saying. Of course, this is all speculation, please don't spread this as fact because I don't know Schlatt any better than you do. He's just a comfort CC and guy I think is kinda neat when he's not doing dumb shit.

Sorry for the long post. Also, you can disregard the shit I said about racism if you want cause I'm not qualified to talk about it really. There are good points for calling someone a racist for jokes like the ones in the video, but I feel like the rest of the factors should be looked at too since this is a complicated situation. Again, just my opinion, please no hate. If you have a complaint DM me or send an ask. I'm open to hearing other povs.

Have a nice day !

[i-am-not-afraid-i-am-with-you]

Okay it's been another period of time since I caused chaos and I love him parasocially so have my Remus Lupin headcanons

I spent way too long on these bad boys (the headcanons to be perfectly clear)

Tonks lives with Remus, Sirius, and Teddy, as well as her mom, who moved in after the death of Tonks' dad

Tonks takes on a bit of a "grown-up older sister" role for Teddy and helps take care of him a little when she's home which is rarely and Andromeda Tonks is a very supportive grandmother who considers Remus a son-in-law and Sirius a son

Kreacher lives at Hogwarts but sometimes visits only because of hard work by Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Remus, who over time got Kreacher and Sirius to talk again, with supervision, and Kreacher told him about Regulus. Sirius had been friends with Regulus when they were kids but thought Regulus hated him, especially after Sirius ran away from home and didn't take Regulus with him. The bond between Kreacher and Sirius started over their shared care for Regulus and different understandings of what Regulus did.

Sirius survived OotP because Harry wasn't able to leave Hogwarts until after Snape caught up to him and told him Sirius was safe. Aurors went to the Department of Mysteries instead of six high schoolers, just to be sure, and a few involved Death Eaters were locked up (including Lucius Malfoy) and the prophecies all got destroyed. As the aurors and ministry officials arrived, Voldemort had just gone in to grab the damned prophecy himself, so the ministry found out that he was back

Remus made sure Sirius stayed in hiding by putting him in a safe house with Andromeda, who he hadn't seen since she'd been disowned. Between Sirius and Tonks, Andromeda was done hearing about Lupin by May 4th, 1998, so she hid in her room, at which point a message arrived from Remus saying Harry Potter was in Hogwarts and the Death Eaters were attacking and to make sure Sirius stayed put but Sirius obviously didn't and he fought in the battle

Through the power of combined plot armor and the gay agenda, they both survived the battle

However, Fred Weasley still died. A few months after the battle, Tonks helped George Weasley dye his hair, which she knew how to do bc she used to do Bill's all the time in school. Molly was mad at first until he explained quietly, "I kept thinking it was him in the mirror." She never said a negative word about it again.

Remus's coming out as a trans man was about as fast as it being public he was a werewolf, except without his parents knowing. He showed up at school early his first year to sort out the Whomping Willow mess and tried to sleep in the girls dorm but found out it didn't let him up, then he proceeded to not tell anyone and just pretended to accidentally fall asleep studying every night. Eventually the Marauders figured it out and he admitted it to them. He started staying with them in the guy's dorm and Sirius pretended to be in a relationship with him so the gossip wasn't so much about Remus as it was about Sirius and them being in a relationship. It got back to McGonagall, who confronted Remus bc she thought he was regularly breaking rules to be with a guy. He came out to her and she offered to get him his own bed in the guy's dorms but he said he wasn't ready to be out to everyone yet and she said she understood. After Hogwarts, Remus left his family to live with Sirius, James, and Lily, as well as James' parents. When he got there, he introduced himself as Remus and sometimes people still wonder what happened to Sirius' ex-girlfriend who disappeared off the face of the earth after graduation, and who Sirius wasted no time replacing with an oddly familiar new partner, a boyfriend this time.

As soon as Remus started publicly going by Remus, Sirius promptly forgot his deadname. Remus thought he was trying to make him feel better or making fun of him but one day Sirius was filling out paperwork for him before he changed his legal name that Remus otherwise would not have known Sirius was doing and Sirius waited for him to come home and had him write it because he forgot it then didn't know how to spell it.

Bonus: Percy is a stay-at-home dad who loves his wife Penelope Weasley very much. His brothers still tease him. Since Fred's death, he decided that hearing anything from his brothers, even if it was teasing, was better than nothing.

[causticsunshine]

(new larry anon) thank you so much for the answer and the links, those are super helpful! I do have two questions though, i just hope they're okay to get asked 🙈 1: do we know what's stopping them from coming out now? They're both under new management right? Obviously nobody has to come out, but why keep up the pretense with the beards and babygate? And 2)i've read how people were apparently really worried about louis in 2016, he looked really pale and kinda unhealthy in some pictures and i was wondering if that was all connected to what happened with his mum or if we know/can speculate whether something else was going on as well? He looked so sad and kinda fragile in some of the pics i've seen :( (sorry for my english btw it's not my first language, and i hope these questions are okay, if not feel free to ignore them 🙈)

hi babe and welcome back! first off no worries at all about your english—more power to you for speaking in multiple languages when a lot of people can't!

and to answer your questions, i've got some lengthy answers for you! i hope i'm able to clear some things up, though, there's just a lot to be said.

1. the 'closeting' and 'music industry' tags i linked should give some more clarification but i figure there's a lot to sort through, and it's also a very layered thing to get into, but basically? it's a lengthy and complex situation because everything from their public personas to being closeted and having beards/het stunt relationships to the babygate debacle is tied up in contracts, and solidified by media training imparted onto them when they were very young, and had no idea how the industry works.

due to how they were media trained and marketed from day one, too, has a lot to do with breaking stunt relationships, coming out publicly if/when they want to, etcetera. so much of what they were forced into and taught through media training was and is reliant on their specialized marketability—flirty harry who all the girls love, goofy sweet leader louis with the devoted 'girlfriend'—to bring money and attention in from what their money and PR people recognized as a heavily female-centric fanbase.

the idea was and still is, when it comes to these groups: young girls will throw all their money at the boyband and make us (the industry people) rich because we've formulated x different types of young, handsome boy for these girls to choose from, that they will ultimately devote themselves and their money to, over a parasocial crush, because we keep the fans feeling special that their token boy could possibly fall in love with them one day.

in this case, the marketing people pick and choose the most desirable traits these young men have, or even assign new traits for them, and teach them how to talk, act, whatever, to appeal to a certain demographic. a lot of the time, they keep things on the vaguer end to allow for specialized projection from the fans that make the chosen boy all that more 'theirs'.

it's...a really grimy marketing tactic that's been used for years, but it definitely still works—and not just in regards to harry and louis or 1d or boybands in general. singular celebrities can do the same with their fanbases by actively engaging with their fans online—i'm not going to say who here because i will get witch-hunted, but there's a particular blonde female singer i'm thinking of as a prime example of this—and convincing them they're friends, that the fans know the real version

but yeah, marketing is a big part of it. the stunts work to support the forced narratives which are born from the marketing.

that's why the general public still—weirdly—sees harry as just some fruity and friendly but ultimately womanizing musician who hates his boyband days and is better without them, and louis still has this rep of being a sometimes bad-tempered—due to some press and pap altercations—party boy who's the often seen as the 'passed over' 1d member, who also forgot how safe sex worked one night and is now a mostly absent parent.

coming out or breaking off/clearing up stunts isn't going to suddenly remedy, placate, or answer for years of forced narratives and forced closeting, even when/if these contracts end or can be negotiated. not everyone is going to believe two 'cishet male' ex-boybanders were actually queer and in love this whole time—like there are even larries out there who still insist HL have broken up multiple times, cheated on each other, etc.—especially not with 10+ year narrative of ex-girlfriends and one night trysts—no matter how many times those are cleared up—and on louis' side as well, a child, to counter that reality.

if you saw talk about the 'mortal enemies' narrative that their team also tried to push between them back in the day, as well as how they still can't really talk about one another alone—like we can count the number of times louis has directly spoken about harry post-hiatus on one hand, same with harry, and i've seen multiple times (although please take this with a grain of salt, as i'm not 110% positive as i haven't heard it firsthand myself) that in some interviews and during fan q&a's and the like, questions for harry about louis and vise versa are not allowed—that's also going to play a part into the disbelief of a relationship counterpart.

it's one thing to share a truth about yourself that contrasts the public image you've been forced into selling; it's another entirely to announce that and a secret queer relationship at the same time, especially considering all the cover-up lengths that've been taken for the both of them, and regardless of how badly conjured or transparent most the cover-ups have been.

in all fairness, though, it needs to be recognized that harry and louis have done a lot over the years to counter their public personas and stunt narratives, from lyric changes in songs to coded clothing, dodging direct questions in the most ridiculous ways—i.e. louis' 'conspiracy theories on iphones' ramble, harry stuttering and making horse-noises for two minutes in a phone interview when asked if a song was about louis—even in body language, facial expressions and inside jokes, so even when forced to participate in stunts or feeding into bullshit narratives, there's always something they end up doing to let you know that 'this is indeed bullshit' or 'i'm not telling the truth right now'.

2. to be honest, despite being here from the near beginning, i left the fanbase entirely from early 2016 - early 2020, and have had to play a lot of catch up, so i wasn't around when people were actively seeing and talking about louis' appearance in 2016. but, looking back on old photos and seeing as babygate was in full swing, another fake relationship was underway, louis was out on his own as a solo musician for the first time in his career, and his lovely mother was sick and then passed during this brand new chapter of his life, i can only imagine how much he was going through and how it may have been affecting him at that time.

i don't feel we collectively should speculate or make assumptions past what we know, though, both because i know how badly this community can spiral and stretch situations both past and present, and because none of us are him and can read his mind, nor were we there at his side while this was all happening. so while i want to say all we can do is speculate, i personally think it's easy to put two and two together seeing as what we now know was going on, and leave it at that.

really i don't think looking back on a clearly hard period in louis' life almost 6 years ago now to speculate is going to do him or anyone else any good. i know doing all the digging and research it can be hard to see all things he—and harry—have gone through, because as you're looking into things it feels like you're there as it's happening, but focusing on supporting him and them in the here and now is the best course of action, in my opinion.

alright, that was a lot, but i hope i was able to answer your questions! the important thing to remember is neither harry or louis or any other closeted individual or couple asks to be closeted or participate in stunts to help bolster a manufactured image that totally contrasts their truth, but the entertainment industry cares more about money and marketability than anything else, and likes to make things difficult for those working to challenge that.

don't lose hope though, and again feel free to message me again if you have any other questions 💕

[anthonycrowleymoved]

Hey! I asked a while ago about how all of my supernatural knowledge comes from your blog and i was thinking that I may have sounded like upset or whatever and I didn't mean to I just thought it was funny that all of my supernatural knowledge comes from you

oh no you’re not what i was talking about and also i’m perfectly cool joking about it. this person was like well i don’t like what you post at all it annoys me go back to what you used to post and also i can’t be bothered to blacklist tags so do what i want love and light 💕. like that was sort of the tone of the message, it felt much less jokey than most anons i get about it. to be clear i find it very funny when people are like ‘you are forcing me to learn things about spn’ but i can tell you’re all having fun with it. like it comes with the implication like ‘i don’t love this thing but i am sure learning about it. i could choose not to but it’s funnier to blame you for this.’ it’s about tones and things that are clearly jokes/tongue in cheek reactions versus someone being like ‘i legitimately don’t like this thing but instead of doing anything myself about it i will complain to you, the person who enjoys it but knows others don’t and tags accordingly, about it as if it’s your fault.’ and at a point i do think that it’s partially just parasocial relationships, i think if one of my friends joked about it i would laugh, but like. i hate to remind you all of this but if we’ve never even talked (or we talked once a year ago and i can’t fucking remember) we’re not. we’re not friends, okay? i’m not saying you can’t talk to me, or reply to my posts, and i’m not even saying we can’t one day be friends. but frankly when a random person acts like we’re friends and they can just tell me what to post that’s JUST going to annoy me.