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paradoxcase · 1 year ago

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The Unwanted Guest

I wonder why this is formatted as a play. Because Palamedes is forced to play a role while in a space Ianthe has control over? I love that Ianthe has conjured up this whole elaborate setting with multiple servants that are also all Ianthe

I originally thought the seven coffins were for the seven OG Lyctors, or maybe there are seven because Dulcinea is here, but that's my best guess. There's a ton of Significant Numbers in this story, but I don't think Ianthe is associated with seven in any way. And I'm sure the changing orders and which ones were used as set pieces, etc. are all just a red herring, right?

It's in a higher register, which is naturally associated with upper class/rich people, and thus all the connotations you'd normally attach to things having to do with rich people. I don't think there's really anything more to it than that. There are high-register ways of being rude, but I don't think this is actually one of them. If you are immersed to a certain degree in this kind of upper class culture yourself, I think it probably wouldn't sound the way he's describing it here, which might be why Ianthe disagrees with this analysis

See, this is how you be rude in a high register

Ok, I'm not able to work out what the two non-yes/no questions would be here

I respect this story's commitment to portraying necrophilia as the typical variety of naughty sex

I mean, her whole life is lies, pretty much - the lies she engineered about Corona, originally, and now she's also lying about being loyal to John, and possibly about being friends with Gideon, and she wasn't genuine with Augustine either, etc. She just kind of runs on lies

Wondering again how Camilla survived this, and also why there is all this emphasis on sexual reproduction there when I think it's been established that they do everything artificially now?

It's honestly kind of a shit argument on both of their parts. I don't think he actually goes on to show that souls can be diminished, either - I think he proves that souls can be augmented and/or combined, but I don't think he shows that they can be diminished, or that the souls that Lyctor eats degrade over time. I could imagine a possibility where souls can be augmented or combined, but not diminished, or where souls can be diminished, but souls consumed by a Lyctor for some reason aren't. I don't think all of these things are necessarily tied together

Ok, but that actually sounds legitimately hilarious

Is this like an Ace Attorney reference or something

I mean, he wasn't loyal enough to go quietly when Ianthe wanted him to die, if we can take her initial inability to get his soul under control as any indication, although since both he and Corona were there to stop her I'm kind of curious how that went down, now? It's interesting that sewing and mixing drinks were part of his skillset, he already sounds more interesting than Ianthe is claiming, haha

Something tells me this is either a lie, or Ianthe is just wrong

Why is it not "safe" to choose an already qualified person to be the cavalier? Is it just that they won't have total control over them then?

I was going to ask how Palamedes knew that Ortus got blown up, but then I remembered that Gideon told him about this when she went to tell him about Protesilaus's head in Harrow's closet. But now I'm kind of curious what Harrow told Ianthe about Ortus - she obviously told her something, because Ianthe recognized his name when she started using it around her, but maybe she didn't tell her about the shuttle blowing up. Also, Ortus was also chosen to be Harrow's cavalier basically from birth, if we're to understand that he was chosen primarily because his father was Harrow's father's cavalier. So that's actually an example of when that system doesn't work

Yeah, that was pretty funny. But has Dulcinea ever actually met Babs? According to Judith, she was confined to the Seventh because she wasn't well enough to go elsewhere, and none of the other scions had met her in person. Even Palamedes and Camilla never met her in person. And Babs wasn't in Harrow's Canaan House River bubble, either, probably on account of his soul being inside/part of Ianthe at that point. So how does she know what he was like, to be making a joke like this?

This whole sequence where she fences with these attendants which are really all just her is a very playing chess with yourself sort of thing, especially since she just disqualifies most of them. But I guess that's part of sort of being Babs, right? Rigid adherence to dueling rules

I just want to point out that this is after she exchanged friendship bracelets with Gideon. I don't know if she is lying to Palamedes here, or was lying to Gideon, or maybe both? Or maybe she thinks Gideon has had a level-up as Kiriona but is fine with trash-talking original Gideon?

So, that's from Hamlet, and it basically means that if everyone got what they deserved, everyone would be punished, in response to Palamedes saying that Babs doesn't deserve all this monkeying around with his body. But how does Dulcinea know Shakespeare?

So she did die again in Harrow's River bubble, and then something full-of-awe happened, and now she is on the far side of the River. I guess to add to the other unanswered questions from the last post, we now have "what's on the other side of the RIver?" From my perspective, it sounds like the far side is probably heaven, and the River itself may be Gehenna, or maybe Purgatory, from a Christian perspective?

Who is "her" here? Is he referring to what Cytherea said to him at the end of Gideon the Ninth?

This is from the bible - I think a description of an angel, maybe? So again, how does Palamedes know this quote?

Oh please, Ianthe, by the time you became a Lyctor, five other people had died, and Protesilaus had turned out to be dead the whole time

You know that now, but there's no way you knew that at the time. Harrow certainly didn't know that, or else she would have realized that her plan to remove Gideon's soul wouldn't work because she still needed Gideon's sword abilities, and I don't think you are actually smarter than Harrow

Dude, you spent literal months on the Mithraeum training with Augustine to improve your fighting abilities

I think the answer is the latter, but I'm interested to see if that turns out to be true

So even if she'd said "No" he still would have lost. He'd have left voluntarily if she'd said "no I actually have no idea where Babs is". He was gambling on her not even knowing whether she knew or not

I'm not sure why this allowed him to win control of the body. Did Ianthe just have a revelation and check out for a bit? I think it maybe says interesting things about why she was so worried that the same thing that happened to G1deon and Pyrrha would happen to her if she died - maybe she thought that she would somehow become Babs after death because of this conversation she had with Palamedes? After Palamedes and Camilla combined into Paul, Paul told Ianthe that there was still hope for her and Babs - did they mean that Ianthe should completely merge with Babs' soul like they had just done? I don't feel like that would have been an attractive proposition to Ianthe at all. Or were they just sort of acknowledging that Babs was still there?

I think this really raises the question of how Pyrrha and G1deon were so separate, and had different experiences from each other - G1deon didn't know that Pyrrha was even still around, and he didn't remember anything that she did in his body. I can believe that Pyrrha having an affair with Wake probably caused G1deon to have an affair with Wake, but like, I would have expected him to have some idea of inkling of what Pyrrha had been up to and not just thinking that he had inexplicable gaps in his memory for some reason, if this is really how it works

I think it probably is significant that the last unopened coffin is #3

So what is actually going to happen next?

Alecto has returned to the Mithraeum with Harrow. Ianthe and Gideon will probably wind up back there, too, possibly with Corona and/or Judith in tow, since I'm guessing that Ianthe won't return without Corona and Corona won't go without Judith. Maybe Harrow and Gideon will have an actual social interaction again, which hasn't happened for almost 1000 pages of book now. The Sixth House oversight board and possibly Paul are probably going to join the Sixth House and may not be in the next book at all, although I'm not entirely sure that Paul can navigate the River on their own without Nona/Alecto. Presumably Aiglamene remains on the Ninth and likewise is not in the next book, I think the Ninth has exhausted all of its plot potential as a location at the point, maybe? God only knows where Pyrrha, Pash, Aim, and Noodle are going to wind up, I'm still not sure why Aim volunteered to come to the Ninth, exactly. If Pash somehow winds up on the Mithraeum, though, that has the potential to be hilarious

#the locked tomb #the unwanted guest

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

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Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she’s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

#troquantary #norwegian things #bella swan #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #evighetens kyss #evighetens kyss meta #evighetens kyss renessanse

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doesyourshipmakeyouabadperson · 3 years ago

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hay, this is more me looking for advice, but how do i stop lying to my followers about being proship? there was one point where i drew fontcest (undretale), and i got an anti who harassed me in ask, and sent me a graphic description of their brother killing their hamster. ever since i've been very weary of saying anything, or confirming i ship something cuz i don't want to read something like that again. that, and in general, i don't ship things too hard/go all in with it, at least 1/?

2/? i don't think i do. granted, i draw a bunch of art and post it, but for me that's just general hyperfixation. i'm also ace, and while yes, most ships are romantic or sexual, mine tend to be platonic, or suggestive. and are not as clear cut as to if i ship the characters or not, because even for me, it's up in the air, and i don't know, i'm not good with knowing how i feel about things, i just express myself through art and hope it says all it needs to. i've come up with a sorta tagging

3/4 tagging system, with tags for platonic ships, joke ships, etc, but even then sometimes how i view the relationship changes. like right now, i'm drawing a child and adult character together, most of the time the dynamic i portray is paternal, but other times i want to make it romantic, either as a cope for my own truama, or just because it's been my brain rot for weeks and i want it out of my head to get back to the "clean stuff" and just not post for a while. idk, maybe this is

4/? is all overly complicated, and i've made a mess for myself, but i feel like at this point i've tricked ppl into following or liking my work. because ppl do like my work, and then they send ask like "your art's now tainted for me", but i've been this way since 2016, i've just been scared of getting disturbing irl hamster gore stories again. or i've been told "fuck you for normalizing this", "don't hc this character as a murder pedo", "this feels like grooming", "you know your audience"

5/5 like i don't, idk how old anyone is who follows me, idk if there's children looking at my content. and i can't just make a poll, or check the thousands of followers i have to see if they have their age in their bio, i can't fucking ask for an id before following, i just. idk, this was very long and ranty, i'm sorry, i just don't want to remake my blog again, maybe i'm just dumb and anxious, i don't know. srry this was long, hope you're doin ok (^.^)v

Hello, I delayed answering this for a while since, well, i'm definitely not usually the person people go to for advice so im not used to it lol ❤ /nm

Buuut i mean... I can see why youre upset. I dont think you should have to come out and say you're proship. Being an anti shouldn't be seen as the default. You should also be able to make whatever kind of content you want as long as you tag it properly. If your fanbase is making you feel like you can't, then that fanbase isn't your demographic.

There are actually a lot of decent people out here who are pro ship, and if you choose to be openly pro ship, yes you will get some hate mail, death threats, suibait etc and lose followers, but you will also gain a lot of fans who want to see your interesting takes on different interpersonal dynamics. (Also, the former group weren't really your fans in the first place if they'll be so godawful to you over some pixels on a screen)

And yes it is impossible to police thousands of followers and that quite literally is not supposed to be up to you. Minors on the internet are supposed to be monitored by their guardians. If you put a disclaimer/tag for your content and some dumbass clicks it anyway and doesn't like what they see, that's their fault not yours.

I've also noticed that the majority of people who are pro ship are prone to actually filtering content they don't like, while antis seem entitled and want the creator to do it for them. Its just a better fanbase experience all around in my experience.

As someone who helps run multiple pro ship accs, i understand the visibility can be scary. But I promise at the end of the day you'll feel a lot better for it. Hope this is at least semi-helpful/reassuring idk ❤

#long post #lovely anon ❤#advice from a dragmonster #tw animal death #tw harrassment #tw grooming mention #not an affirmation

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emillow · 3 years ago

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Author's Note: This is my headcanon about the ending of Queen B Book 2. I wasn't satisfied with the ending with Poppy I wanted to know more what happened after they graduate from Belvoire. Remember this is only based from my imagination, and I apologize if there are any lapses in my grammar. I'm still new with writing. THIS IS AN AU WHERE BEA HUGHES (MC) IS TWO/THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ANY CAST OF QB.

"Adieu For Now"

It's been two weeks since I graduated from New York City's most prestigious institution, thanks to my late aunt's massive inheritance. My parents made the decision to relocate to New York City, take over my aunt's business, and leave Farmsville behind to begin a new life, you know how the story goes.

My reign as Belvoire's badass angel Queen B has come to an end. All of my friends and foes have left, probably living their best or worst lives in the real world.

Zoey began her path to become a well-known DJ with the help of her mother and mentor, a.k.a. THE LIL NOS F HIMSELF. To be honest, I'll miss the days when we spent our time together hanging out, going to wild parties, hooking up with some of Belvoire's hottest girls and guys, as well as devising a plan to stop Poppy, X, and other potential enemies from ruining my repuation, but with Zoey and my posse by my side, we were unstoppable and managed to graduate in the end.

Lexi's old job is taken by Professor Ian Kingsley. After being fired from Belvoire due to allegations of him sleeping with a certain student...me...well, it only occurred once...ok, maybe twice...but I ended things with Ian after the school board nearly discovered our illegal relationship. Dean Steinhelm offered Ian his former position back once we proved the school board 'wrong,' but he declined, stating that he wanted to start over.

I haven't pursued him like a love-sick school girl since then, and it was probably the best that we stopped. Ian told me that he still has feelings for me, but I wasn't willing to give him what he wanted. I'm not selfish to let him destroy his career over me again, besides he's not the only person I've ever slept with during my time in Belvoire. Ian and I decided to keep in touch and agreed to remain friends, and only friends. No more, no less.

Of course, I'll never forget about Poppy Min-Sinclair, the ex-bitchy ice queen/sworn enemy/rival/fling who tried to ruin my life when I first got into Belvoire. All I wanted was to experience a normal college life: go to classes, hang out with friends, join exciting parties, and obtain a degree at the end of my senior year, but that bitch gave me a hard time since I set foot in campus.

You see, Belvoire University, has a strange popularity-based caste system. Where Poppy Min-Sinclair was their Number One Queen in the student rankings. She was known for being a ruthless, manipulative, narcistic, yet witty, cunning, and ambitious leader. Not until I arrived on campus. I was the new small-town girl genius who skipped grades and came from new money, thanks to my dead rich aunt who left her massive fortune, to my parents and me. Everyone in campus was interested in knowing who I was.

Poppy didn't take that quite well, so every attempt she made to ruin my life always backfired at her. And again and again I always remind her that she messed with the wrong person. For the past two years we were always at each other's throats, competing, giving insults, and fighting for the position of Number 1 as Queen B in Belvoire, after that we always end up in bed doing hate-make outs, constant hookups, you get picture, but it was our 'normal' way of getting to know each other, believe or not behind that crazy alpha bitch attitude is a softie when it comes to animals. No one knew this side of Poppy, except for her family and me. Heck, she owns at least twelve animal shelters in New York, she even plans to make a zoo to rescue endangered animals. That's how she cares about animals.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for that horrible skank, which I clearly did when I said I choose her, and it's always been her throughout my graduation speech. Poppy being Poppy, denied everything and spouted angry words about how she loathed me and everything, but I knew better.

I rolled my eyes, knowing all those angry comebacks and insults were nothing more than hollow words, so I did the logical thing, I kissed her in front of everyone to get her to quit talking. Everyone was shocked, including Poppy's parents. Nevertheless, everyone cheered, I heard some of the frat boys and zeta girls made a bet on my love life.

I took a step back and left her side to finish my graduation speech. After that, I led everyone to our post-graduation party, but my joy was short-lived when my parents called. Due to an emergency, they informed me that I needed to return home early. This threw me off guard. My parents have barely enough time for me since we became wealthy. I was hopeful that they'll come because their only daughter had graduated as summa cum laude, sadly they didn't appear. At least Poppy's parents cared enough to see her graduate, I envy her for that.

Back in Farmsville, I was raised and taught that family always come first. My relationship with my parents wasn't always like this, I had a wonderful and loving relationship with them, especially with my dad, but that changed when my father took over his late sister's company. He became distant, cold, and busy. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure why he called. I was surprised to say the least. This is the first time he approached me in nearly two years.

I notified my posse, which includes Zoey, Carter, Chloe, Veronica, Penelope, Thomas, Professor Roberta, and Taylor, that I need to go home immediately due to some family emergency via group chat. My entire posse agreed to assist me. Penelope and Zoey helped me in leaving the party, so I can get into my dorm room and packed all my things. Carter and Taylor then volunteered to carry my belongings and wait for my chaperone to pick me up from campus. While Chloe, Veronica, and Thomas stayed at the party to keep everyone entertained and announce my departure once I'd left.

I took one last glance at Belvoire before leaving. Here, I made both good and unpleasant memories. It shaped me into the person I am now. I turned to face my friends, especially Zoey.

"I'm going to miss you guys a lot." "Thank you so much for everything," I cried. Giving them all a big embrace.

"Me too, boo," Zoey muttered. "We'll all miss you."

"Hah! Bea, you'll always be our QB," Carter said.

Taylor dried her eyes and said, "No matter where you are, just call us whenever you need someone to talk to."

A vintage automobile honked at me. "It's time to go home, Miss Bea."

I smiled at everyone I knew as I wiped away my tears.

"Your ride is calling you." Penelope added, "We'll make sure to take care of the rest."

"Thanks guys, and it's not goodbye, more like see you later!" I salute and hug them one last time.

While I was inside the car, I've read Thomas post on The T about my departure.

Wassup Thoroughbreds!

This day has been an emotional ride for our graduating seniors here at Belvoire University. Some cried, some don't, and some our relieved to end this crazy school year. Too bad I won't be posting anymore juicy news here on The T, cause I'm about to graduate myself. But eh, enough about me.

In any case, if you're wondering why Queen Bea disappeared from her own party. Unfortunately, our benelovent QB had to leave early, because she had an important business to attend to. Of course, she didn't forget to thank people who loved and despised her throughout her reign. Let's not blame the poor girl. Her life has been living hell since the day she came to our school. All our new QB wanted was to live her college life peacefully. But not in Belvoire. Despite coming from new- money she proved again and again that no one dares to mess with her. Afterall, she's naturally a born genius. She did skip two years in middle school, became valedictorian and all-time prom queen back in Farmsville High, dethrones Poppy as the new QB, and now graduates college as SUMMA CUM LAUDE at only nineteen. I bet Mama and Papa Hughes must be ecstatic of their daughter's achievements.

Here's her farewell pic and message to everyone.

-Inserts picture of Bea waving goodbye at Belvoire-

"Congratulations Graduates of Belvoire! See you next time for our school reunion. But this time, take your life seriously. We'll be on our own once we graduate from college. There'll be many hurdles ahead of us when were in the outside world, but I'm certain that we'll all succeed in achieving our dreams. Goodbye, Bea Hughes

That was a very wholesome message coming to our Queen B. I almost cried she really did make a difference for the underdogs this past two years. With her heart of gold, sense of justice, great intelligence, and mercy. Our new queen B is truly a saint. Just look how she beats Poppy and outrank her for being number 1. Speaking of Poppy, I've heard she's angrily looking for Bea, our queen left her enemy turned to lover without saying goodbye to her. So, Dear Bea if you're reading this make sure to look at your phone, because Poppy looks very upset right now.

P.S I'm leaving the "T" to my trustee apprentice "S" who'll be in charge with "S" from now on, because you know their name starts with letter "S". Anyway, it was nice knowing you all. T is out.

-Kisses The T-

I smiled at Thomas' post. Wait did he say Poppy? I scrolled my phone and read his post for the fifth time

"Shit I forgot about Poppy!". I thought. When I went through my phone there were at least 50 unread messages, and 17 missed calls from Poppy.

HOW DARE YOU KISSED ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS, YOU SOW WRESTLER! DID YOU SEE HOW THEY REACTED? HOW EMBARRASING!

WHY AREN'T YOU REPLYING MY TEXT?

WHY DID YOU LEAVE HANGING IN YOUR PARTY?

FARMSVILLE WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING MY CALLS?

I DEMAND A REPLY FROM YOU RIGHT NOW!

DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU CHOOSE ME!? WAS IT ALL A LIE TO JUST GET BACK AT ME, FARM GIRL? DID YOU ONLY TOY WITH MY FEELINGS? IS THAT IT?

SO JUST LIKE THAT YOU'RE GOING TO IGNORE ME? AFTER EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN FRONT OF WHOLE ENTIRE SCHOOL JUST TO HUMILAITE ME AND LEAVE ME BEHIND! I THOUGHT I MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU….

Bea please reply I need you to talk to you.

I gulped, feeling guilty for leaving her behind. I was too preoccupied with the party and then my parents suddenly called. Just when I was about to reply.

THUD! The car bumped into a big whole, accidentally throwing my phone out of the car window, and seeing my beloved phone for nearly two years get crushed by rush vehicles. All my contacts, memories, and pictures where there. Damn it!

"SHIT, NOOO! MY PHONE!" I yelled in panic.

"MISS BEATRICE I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DISTURBANCE, BUT PLEASE REFRAIN FROM GOING OFF THE WINDOW. YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF. YOU KNOW YOUR FATHER DEMANDS THAT YOU COME HOME IMMEDIATELY."Sebastian. My aunt's former butler/chaperone/assistant said.

"But my phone… Poppy…she, she…"

"Poppy Min-Sinclair? The girl who bullied and nearly ruined your life? Are you friends with her already? I'm sure your father would love to hear this."

"Sebastien, you know my parents doesn't care about me. There too focused on taking over my aunt's company" I sighed "Besides I need to call Poppy I kind of confessed to her that I like her in front of everyone, and I kind of made her parents angry when I kissed her."

Sebastien groaned. "Oh my goodness. What will your father say?"

"Uhh, Dissapointed…Maybe?...Hehe…"

"Young lady. I'm sure your father will be upset but not disappointed. If you must know he's basically proud of you."

"Really? How about Mom?" I gleamed like a little kid who wants nothing more than to spend with her parents. What? Just because I'm a 5'8 ½ ft, attractive young adult woman, doesn't mean I don't like being pampered by my parents.

Sebastien gave me a rare smile. "Your parents are very proud of you, Miss Bea." I know they don't show it as much as they used to, but know that they adore you and only want the best for you. Once you've returned home. Your folks have planned a major surprise for you." he said, grinning.

Really? I looked him with skepticism. When was the last time they surprised me with something? Right, when I found out that my late aunt had left her entire fortune to my family. At first, I was excited since my family can afford to transfer me to a prestigious university. Since, they have the money to give me anything I want. I adore my parents and am grateful for everything they've done for me, but all I want is to go back to how things were. We used to live a simple life. Farmsville was a place that I'll greatly missed. I missed living on our farm back home, caring for our animals, competing in town-events and winning them all, seeing my mom and dad's smile, and so many fond memories that I'll never forget.

Going back to the surprised. Poppy was going to wait for now. Now I know I may sound like a douche for ditching Poppy behind (You are a douche). Shut up mind! I'll get back to her after my so-called surprise with my parents, and it's not like she'll cry about it, right? She's a headstrong, yet crazy bitch who's probably in the verge of madness texting me and demanding an explanation for leaving her behind, and maybe about the stunt that I pulled earlier. Yeesh. I'm seriously dead.

Author's Note: I'm not good at writing stories so please bear with me. By the way I plan to finish this story until the very end and maybe I'll make more Poppy x MC stories in the future. See you in the next chapter.

#poppy min sinclair #poppy weekend #queen b choices #bea hughes #queen b 2 #choices #pixelberry #poppy x bea #poppy x mc

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wordsnwhiskey · 4 years ago

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As It Should Be | Chapter 3: Statesmen & Demons

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales

Summary: The morning after is filled with misunderstandings and overwhelming feelings. Things just get worse after you, Whiskey, and Frankie debrief with Champ, Ginger, and Pope, and old demons are brought to light.

Rating: M - No Minors

Warnings: Mentions of minor injuries, mentions of non-major character deaths, lots of talk surrounding drugs, a panic attack, angst, alcohol - If I'm missing any just let me know!

A/N: We’ve got misunderstandings and angst in this chapter. We get a peek at Frankie’s prior drug use and he’s not in a good headspace about it. This chapter and the next will deal pretty heavily with these issues. A very special thanks to Agent Capri Sun and @danniburgh for reading over these chapters and giving me the encouragement to get these out there! ~5.9k WC

Chapter 2: All Hell Breaks Loose [AO3]

Consciousness found you as it did most mornings, pinned by a strong, warm arm. You groaned softly while nuzzling back into the warmth, then opened your eyes, surprised to see Whiskey lounging in a chair off to the side of the bed, scrolling on his phone. His eyes met yours with a smile of his own, and then everything that had happened the night before came flooding back. Murmuring in his sleep, Frankie pulled you closer to him and you smiled back at Jack. It felt so right, so natural, you just wished Jack would leave his phone and come back to bed. Whiskey put his phone away and tilted his head, gesturing for you to join him and put his phone away. Carefully, you did your best to extract yourself from Frankie’s warm embrace, wincing as your body ached in protest. You let out a huff once you steadied yourself on your feet only to have Whiskey pull you into his arms.

“Are you alright, Sugar? I found some sweats and a t-shirt that’ll fit you in the closet. Figured you’d want somethin’ a touch more comfortable after last night.”

“You’re a godsend, Jack. I’m good, you boys just really wore me out.”

Jack chuckled softly and you moved to put on the clothes that lay folded on the chair Frankie had been bound to last night. It was normal that the safehouses were stocked with loungewear of a few different sizes in the event an agent needed a quick change. Groaning, you hobbled over to the kitchen, intent on pouring yourself a cup of coffee. He beat you to it though, and you heard him tut in disapproval.

“Uh-uh, you just sit your pretty little behind down and let me get that for you, darlin’.”

You didn’t bother arguing, knowing Whiskey wouldn’t hear it, and frankly, with how sore you were, you didn’t want to. He set a mug down in front of you, then took a seat at the table with his own mug.

“I talked to Ginger earlier. From what it looks like, our pilot was right, they launched one hell of an amorous agent at the gala last night. She sent me some more details, and so far the only casualties were two of the guys from the private security attachment, the people we downed, and a few attendees who had prior heart complications, their hearts gave out from blood pressure spikes.”

You took a sip of your coffee, letting the warmth fill you, then bit the inside of your cheek in contemplation.

“We’re probably safe to assume then that casualties weren’t their goal, and had they known Statesmen agents would be there, they would have made sure to neutralize us first. With all the chatter Ginger was catching wind of though, they’re either new or they were trying to get someone’s attention.”

Whiskey nodded, pursing his lips and staring down at his coffee while his fingers tapped rhythmically on the table.

“Penny for your thoughts, Whiskey?”

Deep, melted chocolate eyes flickered up to meet your gaze and his mouth twisted as if in distaste for the words he was about to say.

“Now, there’s no good way to bring this up other than just saying it, and I told Ginger I’d ask.” He paused, reconsidering again, then sighed. “Did you tell Frankie or Santiago about Statesmen?”

Your brow furrowed and a muscle in your jaw ticked as you clenched your teeth. You had kept Statesmen’s secret all these years, even though it killed you to keep anything from your old squad. They were your family, and you couldn’t stand lying to them. A sharp flare of anger burned in your chest. The need to lie to them had frankly been a major part of why you hadn’t been back to visit since Tom’s funeral.

“No, of course not, Whiskey.”

Your voice was even, deadpan almost but it was clear from your face that your anger was growing. Jack put a hand up in surrender and gently rested his other hand on your forearm.

“Hey, hey, we don’t want to wake him up.”

He let out a sigh and moved his hand down to cradle your fingers in his own.

“I didn’t figure you had, darlin’, I just had to ask. Especially since he apparently already knew we had a safehouse.”

You took in a deep breath then slowly exhaled, glancing over at Frankie who was still sleeping peacefully.

“Yeah, well, if there were two people in the whole world who’d never believe my cover, it’d be Frankie and Santi. They’re smart, and they know me better than almost anyone else.”

Whiskey jerked his hand away from you, feigning hurt for a moment before it gave way to a teasing smile when you swatted his arm.

“How was he? After I fell asleep.”

“Well, his wrists are in a bad way. Shy as could be when I had him sit down so I could bandage him up. As if he hadn’t moaned at deepthroating my fingers just a bit before.”

You nearly choked on your coffee. It was downright sinful the way Jack could say such lewd things with a voice like honey.

“If you’re wondering whether he regretted it, I highly doubt it, sweetheart. I think you were exactly on the money when you thought about him, but… Well, this ain’t exactly the best way for it to all happen.”

You nodded, sighing while you rubbed the back of your hand with your thumb, a self-soothing gesture you seldom did anymore.

“Certainly not the way we had hoped for it to happen. This was hardly dinner and a conversation. I didn’t expect to spring this on him after only just popping back into each other’s lives after five years. I can’t even really count the funeral since… well, we hardly talked.”

Jack squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“Nothing doing worrying about it, darlin’. We’ll sort everything out once he wakes up.”

Just then, your stomach growled and Whiskey chuckled.

“Besides, sounds like I should be worrying about what to make us for breakfast. Champ isn’t expecting us to debrief until 14:00. Which reminds me, I had Ginger get a hold of Santiago. He’s fine, and they’re sending Vermouth to pick him up and bring him to the office for the debrief.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, you nod, grateful that Santi was ok after the attack. A small huff of excitement brings your attention back to Whiskey, finding him holding a box of pancake mix triumphantly.

“How about pancakes, darlin’?”

His eyes twinkle at the way yours widen in excitement.

“Pancakes it is then, baby.”

Frankie woke to hushed voices and the smell of pancakes. His stomach growled, and he groaned as he sat up. He felt like he had been hit by a truck.

“Hijo de puta.” [Son of a bitch.]

He muttered to himself, hissing when he bumped his wrist. You turned from your conversation with Jack after hearing Frankie curse, and you couldn’t help but admire how cute he looked in his post-sleep haze. His unruly curls were at all different angles and you fought the urge to walk up to him and sink your fingers in them.

“Morning, sleepyhead!” You paused a moment, looking at the stove clock, “Well, not exactly morning anymore.”

Frankie groaned as he stretched his arms and rolled his aching shoulders, then staggered to the kitchen table, sinking into the open chair and pulling out his phone for the time: noon.

“Fuck, Whiskey, I told you I only needed five hours.”

Whiskey stretched in his seat, waving dismissively at Frankie.

“Clearly you needed more than five hours, Flyboy. You were barely standing when you woke me up this morning. I called our Executive Tech Coordinator, Ginger, to check in. She’s having Santiago picked up, and he’ll meet us at our office. They’re not expecting us until 14:00, we’ve got some time.”

Frankie grumbled under his breath, and you noticed the way Jack’s eyebrow shot up in response to the grumbling. Hiding your smile, you got up and made a plate of pancakes for Frankie, then poured him a cup of coffee.

“Cream or sugar?”

Frankie shakes his head and takes a sip from his coffee, a small hum of pleasure vibrating in his throat.

“Gracias, Halcón.”

Both you and Jack watched him, bemused at the way Frankie shoveled the pancakes into his mouth.

“You should be thanking Whiskey. He’s the one who made them.”

Frankie swallowed then paused, looking over at Whiskey, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“These are delicious, Whiskey, thanks.”

A warm smile lit up Whiskey’s face, and he nodded in appreciation. After a moment, his gaze flickers over to yours, silently seeking your approval to start the conversation you know needs to take place before the debriefing. You refill your coffee, then give Whiskey a nod.

“Before we head out, there are a few things we need to go over, Frankie.”

Whiskey’s drawl floated in Frankie’s ears and tugged at him in a way he hadn’t expected it to without the amorous agent in his system.

“First things first, how did you figure we had a safehouse? Did you already know about Statesmen?”

Frankie blinked and sat back, looking between you and Jack before clearing his throat.

“Pope and I always figured you went into intelligence after the Army, Halcón. Pope doesn’t get called in for small gigs much anymore, and the money Pope pitched the job to me for meant it was high profile. Never believed that story of you being an EA at a distillery for a second. You hate paperwork. Seeing you there meant there might be trouble... Well, you’re always trouble, Halcón.”

He smiled, chuckling a bit to himself.

“Your revolvers and whip, and her pistol in a thigh holster… Well, with everything else, that pretty much confirmed to me that you’re both spooks. That’s why I figured you’d have your own safe houses. I couldn’t guarantee any of Pope’s because of the gas. I didn’t know who had been caught or who had been affected. Just put the pieces together, really.”

Frankie shrugged, and Jack, who had been watching him intently, nodded.

“We’re not on anyone’s radar, Frankie. The distillery is real and helps fund our operations, but not even the President is aware, and we like to keep it that way. So you can understand why there were some concerns when you seemed to have it figured out.”

He nodded, understanding completely the security concerns that came with that kind of secrecy.

“Glad you’re not a jackass CIA agent at least, Halcón.”

You snorted and shook your head.

“No, but Whiskey here is plenty jackass for the both of us.”

Whiskey scoffed and shook his head.

“That’s not the tune you were singing when we first met, darlin’. I seem to remember rescuing you, then stitching you up.”

“I didn’t need rescuing, Whiskey. They grazed me, but I had them!”

Frankie chuckled, a smirk settling on his lips at your indigent retort as he held your gaze. His smirk faltered, however, when he felt your hand rest on his arm. He knew this fleeting moment where things felt oddly right and natural, joking around in the kitchen was just that: fleeting. Now, the other shoe was about to drop.

“All things considered, Fish, you look good… I’m glad.”

Jack sat back, observing the two of you. That simple sentence held more weight than he’d expect it to in a normal conversation. The way Frankie frowned slightly and looked down and away didn’t escape his attention. He watched you fidget for a moment before starting again.

“About last night, Frankie-”

“You two look really good together. Seem to be really great partners, and… and I’m not going to do something dumb like try to get in the way of that or anything. I know we were all affected by the gas, a-and I was available.”

Frankie blurted out. The words felt thick and bitter on his tongue, his heart protesting each syllable, but he so desperately wanted to give you an out from this situation, from him and his baggage. He didn’t want to lose you or your friendship, not when he had just gotten you back in his life. His gaze was actively avoiding yours and Whiskey’s, opting instead to stare down at the floor. You and Jack shared a frown as you took a beat to recover. Whiskey was clearing his throat to try to salvage the conversation, but you could see the gears moving in Frankie’s head as he suddenly stood.

“I need to go prep the helo if we’re going to make it back in time.”

The walls were coming up brick by devastating brick in Frankie’s downcast, coffee-colored eyes. On instinct, you reached out for him, your fingers wrapping around his wrist, only to jerk back just as suddenly as he winced in pain.

“Sorry. Frankie, just wait a second.”

“Yeah, now look here, Flyboy, we didn’t do anything we didn’t want to. Hell, you can be damn sure I enjoyed myself.”

There was an ugly, acrid taste pooling in Frankie’s mouth that he couldn’t stop: jealousy. Of course Whiskey had enjoyed himself. At the end of the day, he still had you. Frankie hated himself all the more for this jealousy. It didn’t even have anything to do with the cowboy, he actually liked him despite his cocky attitude. He caught himself, realizing it had almost everything to do with the self-hatred he still harbored. Three years clean was still more than three years too late. Realizing he hadn’t responded, Frankie nodded, gaze flicking from Whiskey to you.

“Can we all at least grab dinner this Friday and talk about it?”

There’s hope in your voice as you plead with him, and you can see his walls stop rising, at least for the moment.

“Ok, yeah.” There’s another awkward pause before Frankie checks his phone for the time and rocks back on his heels. “I’m going to get the helo ready. We need to head out soon.”

You watched as he quickly dressed himself in the disheveled clothes from the night prior and headed out the door in record speed.

Frankie breathed in the fresh air as he walked over to the helicopter. He needed to clear his head. His emotions were all over the place from the night prior and lack of sleep, and it felt like he was giving himself whiplash. Reaching the helicopter, he set out to pull the tarp off of the aircraft. It was much easier taking the damned thing off than it was putting it on, probably having to do with the fact that he wasn’t moments away from collapsing to try to give himself some relief. Gritting his teeth, he willed the thoughts away and made quick work of folding the tarp, stowing it away in its compartment in the cockpit. Frankie sank into the pilot's seat with a sigh and began taking inventory of everything. The blazer he had carelessly wrenched off was still laying in a heap on the floor. He leaned down to pick it up and dust it off, his eyes meandering to Pope’s pistol laying in the co-pilot’s chair. Thankfully, he hadn’t lost it in the chaos of everything. Throwing his head back against the headrest, Frankie closed his eyes. At least they’d be heading out soon and he could throw himself into whatever came next.

You and Whiskey sat at the table for a moment longer, and it was Whiskey who broke the silence.

“Well… everything considered, sweetheart, that could have been worse. Could have gone better too though.”

You groaned and rolled your eyes at Whiskey.

“It’s probably just… a lot for him. The last time we saw each other wasn’t exactly stellar.”

“It was a funeral, Bourbon. That’s understandable.”

That wasn’t exactly what you’d meant, but you kept silent, nodding. Whiskey stood up, walking around the table until he stood in front of you. He took your hands in his own and hauled you up, holding you tight and kissing the top of your head.

“C’mon, sweetheart, let’s get our things together. Champ’ll be waiting for us.”

You and Whiskey moved quickly to gather your belongings, and you had never been more grateful for the stock slip-on shoes Statesmen provided. You didn’t want to have to go out barefoot. Looking back at the safe house, you almost felt bad with the mess you were leaving behind, but you knew for a fact the Statesmen cleaning service had seen far worse.

Frankie only acknowledged you and Whiskey once your headsets were on.

“Get ready, we’re taking off. Statesmen New York office in 20 minutes. Thankfully, we’ve got plenty of fuel.”

The trip back to the office was awkward but thankfully quiet, and Frankie focused on the calming effect flying had on him. After about 20 minutes, you heard Campari’s voice on the radio.

“Approaching aircraft, state your clearance code.”

Whiskey got up from his seat and stood next to Frankie.

“Campari, this is Whiskey, clearance code Alpha-Whiskey-Niner-Niner-Foxtrot.”

There was a pause on the other end as Campari reviewed the code.

“Confirmed, welcome back, Agents Whiskey and Bourbon. Mr. Morales, you’re cleared to land.”

Frankie expertly navigated the helicopter to the landing pad and Whiskey was the first to hop out once they landed. You followed closely behind, turning to make sure Frankie was following. He certainly was, although a few steps behind, and his gaze was still downcast. Frankie was only vaguely aware of his surroundings, still mostly inside his own head as they walked through giant oak double doors into a conference room. It wasn’t until he heard Santiago’s voice that his gaze snapped up.

“¡Hermano!”

Frankie gave Pope a smile as they clasped arms. Then, the other man grabbed Frankie’s shoulders tightly.

“¡Nunca más me asustes así! ¿Entíendes?” [Never scare me like that again! Got it?/Understand?]

Frankie nodded sheepishly, then went to take a seat across from you and to the left of Whiskey.

“Put those on.”

Whiskey gestured to the orange tinted aviators resting on the conference table, identical to the ones you and Whiskey now wore. You watched Frankie bite his lip in concentration, then smiled at the way his eyes lit up as he put them on to see a hologram of Champ seated at the far end of the table.

“¡Ay!”

Frankie and Santiago shout in surprise. Champ shares a look of amusement with you and Whiskey, then gives the other two men a warm smile.

“Alright everyone, let’s get this show on the road. Name’s Champagne but anyone who knows what’s good for them calls me Champ. The lovely lady on the screen on the wall here is Ginger, and y’all are familiar with Whiskey and Bourbon.”

Frankie and Santiago were still in awe, but they nodded their acknowledgements to Champ and Ginger.

“Now, Ginger has an update for us, but first, I must commend you, Catfish. From what I understand, you identified the threat and moved to get Whiskey and Bourbon out of there, minimizing casualties as well as ensuring two of our best agents weren’t captured. I’m sure it was a tremendous feat to do so and fly yourselves to safety given the… well, the condition y’all were in.”

You, Jack, and Frankie had the decency to blush. Frankie ducked his head at the compliment and did his best to avoid eye contact with Pope. He just knew Santi would have a teasing remark about the three of them being together.

“Ginger was able to confirm that the amorous agent used in last night’s attack is a variant of a new drug being used to torture information out of victims.”

“From what Whiskey and I were reviewing,” You interjected, “I think it’s safe to say casualties weren’t their primary objective. Considering how... incapacitated the attendees were, it would have been easy to take more lives. Instead, the deaths seem to be accidental, the result of the private security team or us. It looks to me like their main objective was humiliation. I doubt they knew who Whiskey and I are, if they even had Statesmen Distillery on their radar since we were last-minute additions.”

Frankie nodded and thrust his chin out to Santiago.

“Pope and I heard about it at a conference for his security firm. The ingredients and refinement process are supposed to be too delicate and expensive for something mass market or on the scale that we saw last night.”

Champ nodded and pursed his lips in thought. A sound came from the TV as Ginger chimed in.

“It appears we may have caught a break with that, actually. Final lab results just came in, and analysis of the Agent Red compound also included trace elements of cocaine. Now, last year we busted the Golden Circle cartel, so this could be the competition sweeping in. They might have the resources and facilities to pull it off.”

The room went quiet. Frankie hadn’t heard anything past “cocaine” and the sound of the blood rushing in his ears. His head turned in stiff, jerky movements as his gaze met Pope’s then yours and you can’t think of a moment you’ve seen him more afraid than he is now. Years of dropping into war zones couldn’t touch his reaction now: the quickening of his breath, the way his brows went up and furrowed slightly, the way his eyes widened and froze or the way his lips were parted, tense from the words that were silently stumbling over each other trying to escape the leash of his tongue. Jack took in the way you blanched and Frankie’s pure terror, and finally the pieces fell into place. The words had finally pulled free from Frankie’s tongue, but it was clear that he was far too panicked to put together much of a sentence.

“N-no! I--this, this c-can’t be… Hawk,” he started, desperate to reassure you he’d been clean, as if this brush with the illicit substance negated everything he had done. But you hadn’t been around to see him get clean, so how could he expect you to believe him after how he was when you had left? Frankie started again, frantically seeking Pope’s gaze, “Pope, you know… you know I’ve been clean for three years. I can’t-no, I can’t lose it! I just...I just got it ba-”

Frankie’s voice was broken, the words were crashing into each other, frantic in between sharp, shaky inhales. He looked physically ill, and Jack could see all of the tell-tale signs of a bad panic attack playing out before him. Without hesitating, he swung his chair to face Frankie.

“Hey, Flyboy, you gotta breathe.”

Frankie squeezed his eyes shut, ears clinging to Whiskey’s Southern drawl, desperate to ground himself to something. The peaceful image of a cabin by a quiet lake that he conjured up during times like these was gone, just out of reach, almost taunting him. He flinched when Jack’s large, warm hand came in contact with his back, but he let the other man gently push him forward until his head was between his knees. Frankie did his best to try to regain his breathing, he was emotionally and physically exhausted, this had just been the final straw. The warmth emanating from Whiskey’s hand spread down his back, and his mind clung to the sensation like a drowning man would a lifeline. Slowly, Frankie’s gulping of air began to shift towards almost normal as the pressure in his chest eased.

Pope shared a look with you, then cleared his throat.

“Fish had...some issues with cocaine a while back, and his pilot’s license was suspended because of it. He’s worked hard to get his license back, and he’s been clean.”

Champ nodded. He held no judgement. Hell, their own Tequila had had his own run-ins with illicit substances. Your gaze flickered to Whiskey, it seemed like his sole concern was Frankie in that moment. His eyes met yours briefly, and the warring emotions in them foreshadowed a later conversation, but then the moment was gone, and his focus was back on Frankie. Champ paused a moment longer, making sure that Frankie looked to be recovering before continuing.

“Not to worry, Catfish, should you have any trouble with a surprise drug test, Statesmen’ll take care of it. After all, it couldn’t have been helped, and we owe you for Whiskey and Bourbon.”

Frankie slowly brought himself to sit upright, nodding stiffly. Ginger felt for Frankie, watching him as he emptily accepted Champ’s promise.

“If it’s any consolation, we found only trace amounts, nothing substantial.” Not enough to get you hooked were the unspoken words accompanying her statement.

A shaky breath of relief found its way out of Frankie’s lungs, but the fear remained in his eyes. What if he slipped up? Champ was running a cigar under his nose pensively.

“For now, Pope, I want you to coordinate with Ginger. See if you can fill in any of our gaps on the attack last night. Whiskey, Bourbon, I want your reports in tonight. I don’t need to explain but anything you two can remember could be helpful for Ginger and Pope. Catfish,” Frankie’s head snapped up, gaze settling on Champ at the sound of his name. He was ready for an assignment, for something, anything to get his mind off of the thoughts swirling around in his head. “Ginger booked you a hotel just a few blocks from the New York office. I want you to go there, relax, and get some sleep. I understand you got some rest this morning, but given the ordeal you’ve been through, I’m having you take the rest of the day.”

Frankie opened his mouth to protest, but Champ quickly shushed him by continuing.

“Now, don’t worry, it’s not just you. As soon as Whiskey and Bourbon are done with their reports, I’m sending them home too.”

Frankie pursed his lips and nodded, already feeling like a burden and that his last foothold was crumbling. The meeting went on for a few more minutes, but Frankie was in his own head, effectively on autopilot. His shoulders were slumped and his gaze was fixed on some unknown far off point. You, Jack, and Pope shared a concerned glance as the meeting ended. Frankie blinked when Santiago walked up to him, putting his hand on Frankie’s shoulder.

“Hey, I forgot your go bag, but I grabbed your hat. Figured you’d want it, hermano.”

Standing, Frankie nodded, murmuring his thanks. The doors opened and another agent walked into the conference room.

“Mr. Morales, I’m Agent Vermouth. Please come with me. Ginger asked that I make sure you get to the hotel without any issues.”

You winced at the hurt in Frankie’s eyes that quickly gave way to a hollow nothingness, and your heart clenched for him. There was no way Vermouth could have known the circumstances, what the additional weight his words would have on Frankie. Frowning, Frankie shuffled after Vermouth and disappeared from the room. With a sigh, you turned to Santiago.

“Hey Pope, Whiskey’s just next door, and I’m down the hall. I’m sure Ginger will give you a call in a few minutes. You’ve got the whole conference room to yourself for the rest of the day.”

Pope nodded before you and Whiskey turned to head out.

“My office, Bourbon.”

Whiskey’s voice was low. You had been expecting this, you knew you hadn’t been exactly forthcoming given Whiskey’s past issues. Before you both could make it out of the conference room, Pope’s voice stopped you.

“Hawk?”

Santiago frowned and took a deep breath.

“He really has gotten his shit together. Colombia broke him, and none of us should have been there but I-” Pope sighed and scratched at his beard. “Frankie’s put in the work, he did it, he’s doing it. I know you might have doubts since you weren’t there, but you know I wouldn’t enable him… I just mean that, don’t write him off because of this, Halcón.”

You gave Pope a soft, sad smile and nodded.

“I won’t, Santi.”

There was a beat of silence, Jack quietly observing the two of you. At last, Santiago nodded, and you left the conference room with Jack. He unlocked the door to his office, holding it open for you and you strolled in, making a beeline for the whiskey and two tumblers that sat on the bar cart. You heard him lock the door again as you poured two fingers for each of you. Taking the tumblers in hand, you slid down onto Whiskey’s brown leather couch and handed him the other glass. He was quiet. You both took a sip from your glasses, and then he bit his lip, staring at the swirling amber liquid.

“When were you going to tell me, Bourbon? Were you going to tell me? I mean hell, especially with what we’re considering with him, you gotta tell me shit like this.”

His eyes only met yours at his last word, his face was one of hurt and anger tinged with betrayal.

“I’m sorry, Jack, I really am. I was going to tell you, I was planning on telling you after we went down for the fight. If he was still doing well, then we’d talk about it. If he wasn’t… well, then I was going to tell you anyways. Like Santi said, I don’t have the full story. You’re right though, and I’m really sorry, Jack. I should have told you.”

He held your gaze and nodded almost imperceptibly as you gently reached out to hold his hand and took a sip of your whiskey.

“About three years ago, I reached out to Benny, one of the guys from our unit, to congratulate him on a fight, and we started catching up. He mentioned Frankie was cleaning up his act. The guys-- Pope, Catfish, Benny, Ironhead and Redfly-- went to Colombia on a job, and I don’t have all the details because it wasn’t an official mission, but Redfly, our old Captain, died.”

Whiskey nodded, remembering you were fairly new at the time but already a rising star. He remembered the devastation on your face when you had gotten the news. After all, he had been the one to escort you to Champ’s office when you requested time off for the funeral.

“I remember. You went to his funeral. About 4 years ago now.”

You nodded.

“It was the last time I saw Frankie, and he was not in a good place. Not only because of whatever happened in Colombia, but he got back to find his fiancée had left him, and he had started using again. The guys don’t like to talk about what happened, especially not Pope, as I’m sure you noticed. I called Benny again a year ago. With everything that was happening with Poppy and the Golden Circle, I was worried Frankie had slipped up, but I was also so hopeful that he hadn’t. Benny told me that Frankie was still clean, he’d gotten his license back, and was doing well for himself.”

Whiskey sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It… it doesn’t make me think less of him, sweetheart. You know I’ve been doing the work in therapy, and I understand he’s not the same as the bastards who took everything from me. I know that’s why you were apprehensive. If this is going to work though, we need to communicate. I can’t have you keepin’ secrets like this.”

You nodded. The understanding between you was solid, and you knew you should have told him sooner. He took your glass and pulled you closer so you could nestle into his side. It had been an exhausting 24 hours, and you both wanted nothing more than to have this moment to just exist with each other. After a few quiet moments, you took your glass from his hand, threw back the rest of your drink, then disentangled yourself from Whiskey.

“I’m going to go get changed then get on that report so I can get the hell out of here. I want to take a bath and unwind a bit first, but do you want to do takeout at your place tonight?”

“Wouldn’t have my night any other way, sweetheart. I’ll text you later?”

You nod and wink, earning you one of his soft smiles, then you head out.

The hotel room was nice, far nicer than any room Frankie would have ever booked for himself. It was swanky and refined, whereas the hotel they had planned for the gala at was gaudy and flashy. Frankie stared at the menus laying on the bed next to him, not really seeing the words printed before him. Agent Vermouth had told him to order room service and not to worry about the cost, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat. He closed his eyes, cradling his head in his hands, trying to shut out the dark thoughts circling around him. This feeling, low in his stomach, twisting knots in him, felt like failure. Like he was a failure. It felt like somehow all of the work he had put into getting clean had been undone in a blink of the eye. He hadn’t even sought it out or consented to it. No, it seemed like no matter what he did, his past… the drugs, they would always catch up to him. Of course it was happening now, when he had a real shot at something better. He wasn’t sure what you were hopeful for when you pleaded with him to do dinner in two days’ time, but at least he could hope for regaining your friendship.

With a sigh, he got up and ambled to the minibar, grabbing a few bottles of whiskey, downing one, then sank back onto the bed. His personal phone suddenly went off. Fumbling around for it in his pocket, he took a deep breath, then unlocked it.

Kevin: I couldn’t find someone to cover for you, I’m letting you go Morales. If you have any personal belongings we’ll have them mailed to you. Your final paycheck will be deposited on Friday.

Frankie felt tears prick at his eyes, and he desperately scrubbed at his face with the heel of his left hand as if his efforts would keep the tears from falling. That was the last thing he needed right now.

What a fucking mess he was.

He was a veteran, a former cocaine addict, and now he could add jobless to his titles. It felt like his world was crumbling all around him.

Fuck.

Frankie squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, desperately wishing this was just one of his nightmares. His hands shook, whether from stress or something else he wasn’t sure. He downed another bottle, staring at the minibar a moment longer, fingers fumbling with the cap of the third.

He was drowning. He needed...something. He needed help.

Soooo, hi...yes...thank you for reading! I've got Chapter 4 in the wings and Chapter 5 knocking around my drafts!

Reblogs & Comments are much appreciated! If you want to be added to my taglist just head on over here! If your blog is crossed out, it wouldn't let me tag you, sorry!

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#As It Should Be #Agent Whiskey #Agent Whiskey x you #Agent Whiskey x F!Reader #Agent Whiskey x reader #Jack Daniels #Jack Daniels x you #Jack Daniels x f!reader #Jack Daniels x reader #Frankie Morales #Frankie Morales x you #Frankie Morales x f!reader #Frankie Morales x reader #catfish morales #catfish morales x you #catfish morales x f!reader #catfish morales x reader #my fics #afab reader

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tastyykpop · 4 years ago

Text

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

#exo smut #exo #exo fluff #exo angst #exo baekhyun #baekhyun exo #byun baekhyun #byun baekhyun smut #baekhyun smut #mafia au #yandere baekhyun #yandere #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #exo scenarios

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redstarbonky · 4 years ago

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a breakdown of zemo reacting to dr. nagel, or, >:3 face versus :| face

!!!this post is packed with spoilers!!!

we all know by now that zemo tends to wear his villainous >:3 face while interacting with sam and bucky. it's the face of a dude who's not very stressed out! but this expression goes away during the encounter with dr. nagel. in fact, the whole gadfly personality melts away like it was never there.

so here's a BUNCH OF WORDS ABOUT IT while MAXING OUT THE NUMBER OF PICTURES I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE PER POST

tagging @h-zemo because...*vague zemo gestures*

in the dockyard scene, zemo is the first to poke around enough to discover the secret door to nagel's lab. he's a man on a mission...and notably, sharon and the lads have elected not to give him a weapon

in this image he is looking at nagel, who is unaware of his presence. this is the face he wore through most of CA:CW, when he was mostly thinking about how superpeople destroyed his entire country and got his family killed, and how that is all the fault of captain america (sort of), the serum's first and most dramatic success

zemo doesn't even want superpeople to exist. you can imagine what he would think of the continued existence of the serum itself, let alone a person who knows how to make it

not coincidentally, he has this expression the entire time they're dealing with nagel. this is the face of desire to murder

sam has taken nagel gently hostage (sam is good ok?) and 'introduced' him: "this is baron zemo. i know you've heard of him, too, right?" zemo just looks like this and doesn't say anything...

nagel avoided looking right at bucky after initially seeing him (probably thinking that that's the winter soldier, likely known to the world after CA:CW as a dangerous person, an assassin, a terrorist). but he does stop to make eye contact with zemo before sam pushes him along.

in what capacity has nagel heard of zemo? the aftermath of the events of CA:CW? has zemo tried to kill nagel before? i don't want to read too much into the glance here, it can be read as straightforward simmering anger at the intrusion. but nagel looked pretty intently at zemo for the half-second he was allowed to. contrast to sam, whom he barked at immediately, and bucky, who made him freeze on the spot

i don't believe nagel is anything more than a plot point, especially because he's dead by the end of the scene. but would i be surprised if zemo had looked for nagel before? not at all

as sam leads nagel out of the work area, zemo follows...(bonus handsome sam profile in blur-o-vision, you're welcome)

and when bucky subtly threatens nagel with a shot that should have deafened all of them but hey it's television, sam flinches, but zemo just looks dispassionately

like this pic doesn't need to be a gif. he doesn't flinch, he doesn't move his eyes, he's just looking

then he wanders around and looks for a...let's call it 'security system.' because as mentioned before, sharon & co. chose not to give him a weapon. he finds it under the lab table. i believe this gun is what nagel was likely going for when telling sam to gtfo of his lab and starting to leave his work area. zemo was part of a kill squad. he probably knows common hiding places for weapons

zemo casually walks back out, looks at nagel, and seems conveniently positioned to fire the chekhov's gun in his left hand

(btw i don't believe for a second that there's no serum in the lab. i think nagel is just lying, badly, and banking on the three of them having no idea what the finished serum looks like. THEY ARE LITERALLY SURROUNDED BY BLUE VIALS FFS anyway getting off-topic 😶)

then sharon bursts in to tell them they need to hurry up, and zemo takes advantage of the distraction to shoot nagel dead

he has pretty much the same expression when sam and sharon pin him (sam even yells "NO!" for the illicit chemist because he's a grade-A good guy, while bucky wanders around short-circuiting. seriously watch that part again it's hilarious. he's "???😐????" while everyone else is ">:OOO")

we don't clearly see zemo's face again until after he's escaped the burning lab, blown up several dudes, and taken off his thanos cosplay/stunt double face hider/bank robber mask

with a serum creator and a serum lab totally obliterated, the >:3 expression returns, and he's back to his normal, quietly ridiculous, vintage car otaku self.

it's not even just that zemo is pissed off throughout the scene - he's tense. when his >:3 face comes back, it's because he's not stressed anymore!

big ups to daniel brühl for this piece of interesting acting, i'm sorry it COMPLETELY went over my head until i rewatched the episode

#mcu meta #tfatws meta #zemo meta #tfatws spoilers #tfatws #helmut zemo #baron zemo #wilfred nagel

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occasionally-victor · 3 years ago

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Assigning some Ferry's songs to Last Life characters

I just happened to listen a lot of Ferry while brainrotting LL and now you have to deal with it

Some of those more about just the vibe of the song, some have fitting lyrics, you know the drill

RAPID TRANSIT - This song can be pretty much about all red lifers (like, overall), but if i had to choose only one as the most fitting to this song, i would pick Joel. Not really much explanations here, it just works in my head.

Mr Fox And The Disheartened Girl - Oh, this one is Martyn for sure. To be more specific, i think this song kinda fits the whole Watcher lore thing (obviously with Watcher as mr Fox and Martyn as the girl (without, like, wanting to die part)). Plus, i really like "This game is tearing myself and my world from the//Inside" part in regards of him.

The Faulty Feline Philosophy - Definitely Scar, in fact, this song was literally my first thought after i watched his session 5 video. "For the first time I felt pure excitement//At the limitless prospect of the mad//Adventures to be had | The counter's set to number 9//I'm feeling so alive" - well uh change 9 to 6 (because thats how many lives Scar got at the start which is max amount of lives you could get at the start bla bla you already know that), this goes hard. "With my flesh all torn to shreds//I see the number tick to null//I guess there was a certain death//I failed to take into account" - this part goes both for his final death (obviously, "number tick to null") and at the same time for him turning red at the end of 5th session (at the start of that session he had 7 lives, so having only 1 at the end is really not that different from having none.)

The rest under the cut.

DEAD HAND - Oooh this one is 4th-7th session Grian&Mumbo, i listened to DH far too many times after 4th session (and then after 5th. and then after 6th. and then- im a sad man). The song sounds very "something goes wrong and everything is catastrophically crumbling down and ends badly" which is. Very the vibes i getting from them. "The grave is all too lonely without your sickly body by my side" - lord almighty; "What a shame, you may call it senseless//But I am now devoid of what I would call//"The hindrance of love"" - goes very well with Grian becoming red after The Ghast Farm Incident; "Greetings from the underworld" - i feel sick im so normal about the whole "We can still be friends" bit. "A vision of you fades away like a mirage//Oh, it's a beautiful catastrophe" - woo hoo Grian got a life and became yellow again , the boys are reunited- what is it, the 6th sesession, Mumbo is boogey, everything happens, Mumbo is red now, its barely the start of the session. YEP beautiful catastrophe. ""Oh, this is all wrong!"//But I don't mind at all//Turn up the volume//Execute the protocol//You know it's M.A.D//And it's all about to blow" - "We can still be friends" bit? That part where Mumbo basically blew up pretty big chunk of Southlands? Dare i say, that part of 7th session that ended up in Grian permakilling Jimmy and Mumbo? i feel sick ("M.A.D" is Mutually Assured Destruction, we do not look at what it is irl (because we already ignoring here the whole what is Dead Hand system, we just doing some "haha those funky lyrics fits blockman stuff"), we just taking the phrase and run with it okay?) "What an unfortunate way to end this show//I shed a tear as you vanish in the snow" - just end me already.

through me to you - This one feels like BigB&Cleo (more BigB, than Cleo, but you get me) post BigB murdering Cleo. This song has that bittersweet and nostalgic vibe, "reminds of the things i've lost and won't ever be able to get back, things i regret, things i wish i'd done differently" (quote from comments under the song, it explained my thoughts very well and i suck at explaining my thoughts myself)

I hate it! - This one is Tango (6th-8th session). It sounds like an anger you can't do anything about, some sort of frustration. There isnt really any lyrics to point out (ok, kinda lying, "And in the end just one sorry note sorry note escapes my throat" is kinda fun in relation to the sounds of rage that Tango made after being murdered by Bdubs), the song just fits him pretty well imo.

Hack Writer - OK. LET'S PREFACE IT WITH ONE THING - I COMPLETELY (98%) IGNORED THE LYRICS english is not my first language its easy for me. That's not what i usually do, i'm all for fitting lyrics, but my brain heard the music spinning and whirling (idk how to really explain it) and went - yeah, that does give off some red life Mumbo vibes. Here's instrumental for that song.

hardbass night - I can't really explain why, but this song gives off huge Pearl vibe. Trust me, I'm russian (/hj). Plus, it's fun to assign a song, that is basically some sort of trashy rave music to a person, who blew up someone in a dancing room.

dopamine_machine - This one is also red life Mumbo. "Oh, this one is completely different vibe from Hack Writer-" well that's because now i look at him in the context of Grian&Mumbo storyline ("You’re running lemonade at thirty-six degrees centigrade//Inside your lemon veins//And your heart’s a lemon grenade" lemon(ade) -> yellow -> well, who was yellow when Mumbo was red? Just end me-). "And feel the taste of lead//Again, my friend" - ok the definition of "lead" in the song is supposed to be "metal" one, but since "lead" also means some sort of winning position, we are taking it instead. Something something these lyrics (the whole outro tbh) fitting to Mumbo being permakilled by Grian something something yes, i heard "my friend" part and went absolutely bonkers.

Bonus:

Occam's razor - This one is Grian&Mumbo again. i talk about them a lot here. not my problem tho. Starting with the whole Verse 1 ("So, I see, I found myself pinned up against another//Impenetrable wall//No, it won't take long at all//Short talk and go, don't look so shocked, come on!//It's fine//And even though I think this could be our goodbye//There's defiance in your eyes//Ah, of course, it must be pitiful to see someone with a face like this//Even if that somebody is me...") and, fuck it, the Chorus after ("It's a dead-end endeavor, it's time you understood//That this whole situation won't bring you any good!//Oh, I know that your heart's beating faster than it should//But I can't let you in - wouldn't even if I could") - Ghast Farm incident-"We can still be friends" bit goes brrrrr. "But I can't let you in, even though I wish I could" from songs outro just hurts me here on emotional level.

message lost - This one is Etho&Bdubs. I can't even explain the feeling that this song gave me, and why is it so them. It's just fits.

[guess what, its 17.10.2022 and its a lil update time, because brainrot staying strong fellas]

Convergence - take a wild guess. Yeah it's Grian&Mumbo (im not really over them lmao) , specifically 5-7 session vibes. ill spare myself and just put some fitting lyrics lmao: "Too naive to run on the edge of the knife//This is the worst [BEST] mistake I [YOU] could make in [YOUR] my life//To spark a flame I was [YOU WERE] never meaning to light//I never wanted to [YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO NOT] ignite//A losing fight//[RIGHT?]" || "So now that we are caught in a candid shot//And I know it’s all my fault//My blood’s running cold, yet//The air is getting hot//Every single word hits another nasty spot" || "As I've anticipated//Looks like your sense of decency has long degraded//But don’t forget with whom you are associated//Which sounds unfair, but fair play is overrated" || "It’s not about the strength, it’s about where you strike//You see, by now I’ve got no more dust left to bite//I’ve weaponized my helpless spite//Now how about that pride of yours?"

Ferry Medley // 22 Song Vocaloid Medley (by tart) - i just like that medley :]

#text post #last life smp #i aint tagging any of the characters im lazy #tee hee i was in a silly goofy mood #mcyt #honestly i did this post mostly for me #i needed to unload this from my brain #occasionally victor talks

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bl00dy-r0s3s · 3 years ago

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Kind of a Vent not really though.

This is basically a story, about my experience with someone on this app. It came up because my friend asked me something if i was someone going by the same Nickname of Em, they were telling their story about another person on this app and their experience with this person.

My friend thought it was me it wasn't though but their experience with this person was scarily similar to my experience with an ex friend of mine on this app who i knew by a lot of names mostly Val or Valentine though.

I'm basically just telling this because i need to somehow get this out of my system.

Though some important warnings before you read this

This deals with, attempted OD, talk of Suicide, people being toxic, guilt tripping via Suicide attempts and so much other shit.

Also for anyone wanting to tell me that i am lying i can and will provide screenshots i have taken over the course of our interactions. I have a lot and I'm not afraid to show them.

Ok so, basically this all began at my first few weeks on this app, i downloaded Tumblr because i thought it looked fun and i had heard a lot of good and funny stuff about it. I hoped I'd manage to make some friends which i did.

Basically my first few weeks i was lonely i didn't post things and I didn't interact with anyone because i was scared, scared of rejection, scared of people thinking im weird and other things. I ended up making a friend at the time known as Watermelon Sugar Writes.

They aren't on here any more and they deleted their blog a while ago but they were my first friend on here and i appreciated them.

I first met Val though them because there was a lot of talk about Platonic marriage on here and i wanted in as mostly a Joke, Val said he'd "marry me" and we started interacting a lot we basically talked every day and i had a lot of fun because we would talk about basically anything and we roleplayed a lot because we both liked doing it. We had grown extremely close in the time we had talked with each other and i was comfortable to vent to him when i felt awful so i did that.

Back then i was a little dumb when i vented because I didn't ask for permission mostly because i forgot because i was sad/angry or whatever emotion i was feeling. So we fought a lot... He accused me of never thinking about his feelings when venting and i agreed i hadn't. And i felt bad about it but I couldn't change it now so i said that i wouldn't Vent to him anymore because I didn't want to hurt him more emotionally then i already did.

At some point he told me he had Did i believed him obviously because he never gave me a reason not to. But looking back on it now it seems at least a bit unbelievable. I'm not someone to fake claim someone but it was a bit weird.

So we continued talking continued roleplaying and whatever else we did and it was fun for a while at least until he started pushing me to vent to him when i wasn't feeling well even if i had said no before. He didn't really care he just wanted to know what was wrong and there was nothing really wrong about it until he started directing what we were talking about to himself. Basically when i was venting to him after he forced me after a while he'd talk about his own experience and make the whole conversation about him.

I didn't care at the time i wanted my friend to feel better so i listened. After a while it got worse because i had started going into Little space due to the immense trauma i was under because of my past. Val also went Little and it was fine we'd take care of eachother if one of us was little but at some point that changed... He started getting angry when i went little, he didn't tell me I didn't know until he blew up at me and told me that he got angry whenever i did go little. So i stopped going little I'd force myself out with whatever means i could just so that he wouldn't be mad. I'm as of now still scared to go into little space even after having no contact to Val whatsoever.

We started interacting normally again but he ended up still wanting me to take care of him when he was little even though he basically forbade me from going little, i did it because i cared so much for him. Our fights over the months just got worse and worse we'd fight over the dumbest things and he'd throw all these nasty insults at me.

It only got worse after he met a DID system known as the Cinnamon system. Now i liked the host of the system they were nice to me in fact all of their alters were but after a while one of their alters started to turn on me. She would talk bad about me to Val and he would agree he'd also talk shit about me, i only know of this because said alter used it to make me feel even worse then i already was. That Ended up going so far that this alter got Val to block me on Tumblr i had no idea why he agreed but he did.

He unblocked me shortly after but it just got worse. He got close to another alter who he eventually fell in love with i was happy for him really but he left and i had to make him somehow feel better. So i did everything in my power to do so, i stayed awake way to late to talk to him and keep him from doing dumb shit.

But i guess it didn't work because at some point he wrote me saying he was about to OD then he stopped talking to me for a while. He'd sent me all these little text and i was feeling awful i was feeling like it was my fault he did it.

I some how got him to puke out the Pills and everything was good again at least i thought it was. The fights continued getting worse and worse to the point where i tried ODing.

I didn't succeed and he stopped talking to me saying that i was making him feel awful because i tried ODing. I kept on apologizing over and Over, we were on ok terms again but then there was another big fight he basically said that everything bad that had happened to him was my fault and that i only cared about the facade he had built up. I ended up blocking him because i couldn't handle it anymore.

A day or so after he wrote me not clearly apologizing for what he did but saying that one of his alters a Persecuter did it. We continued talking even though I didn't want to i had half the mind to block me but he kept on guild tripping me into not doing it because he'd kill himself if i did it. So i didn't he ended up making me apologize for something i had no part in and we continued talking again.

He continued being toxic to me which can be confirmed with some of my friends who i talked/ventet to about what was happening. And at some point i had enough.

It started with one of his alters fronting and asking me to help them get their mind of of Val. I did or i tried to at least but instead of doing that they just kept on asking me all these fucking questions about him so at some point i blew up.

I got angry and asked them if they wanted to get their mind away from him why would they continue to ask me all these fucking questions about him.

In retrospect this wasn't the best decision because i got angry but i can't change it. I ended up doing what most of my friends who knew about what was happening had been telling me to do for months i blocked all of his accounts and stopped interacting with him entirely.

I was completely done with him. He still tried reaching out to me via Pinterest asking me why i blocked him but i ignored it and it felt like i was free. It felt like a huge rock of self doubt and guilt just fell off.

After a few months of this i got a message from an old anon of mine who was now in a relationship with Val. They were accusing me of being Toxic and guilt tripping him which i didn't do. They also tried calling me out for "Grooming him" because i as a 17 year old was in a relationship with a minor.

I wasn't grooming him i only told him i loved him nothing more any sexual things were started by him. He as a minor interacted knowingly with Nsfw content and did Nsfw scenes in our role play. When this happened I didn't even know he was a minor because he told me he was 19 which turned out to be fake. I told him to just come clean and stop pretending because it wouldn't end well but he didn't.

I told the person my side of the story telling everything i have said up until now and i gave them the decision to either believe me or not to believe me but block me. They ended up choosing the latter which i was fine with because I didn't need someone in my life who would rather listen to one side of the story and make up their mind before listening to the other.

And that is where i am now. I have completely cut contact with Val because i couldn't deal with it anymore and i am happier then i have been in basically an entire year.

I don't know why i felt the need to write this down but i did and here it is. I just needed to get it out somehow.

#vents #do not like!

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