#Oh yeah there's a club that controls the weather

[mandareeboo]

SHE'S LIVES ON THE WHAT

[princessbrunette]

Rafe likes dry humping the least out of the guys. He’ll let you have your fun for a couple minutes but he’d manhandle you on to your back the instant he’s over it because he wants to control the pace 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

୧ ‧₊˚ 🐇 ⋅ 🌸 ⋆˙₊˚

he never claimed to be patient, but he believes that even the most tolerant of men wouldn’t be able to hold out for long having you on him the way you were. that flimsy little sundress of yours was tugged up, clenched in your clammy fist to display your lack of panties, glossy folds spread over his bulge as you hump away at his dress pants to your hearts content.

you’re a wreck, already — and he knew you would be just from the way you’d been looking at him at the country club. you always got like this when the weather was especially humid. something about a warm summer breeze up your skirt made you absolutely ravenous. you’re rolling your hips, smearing the crotch of his light grey pants with your glittering slick.

“easy… that feel good, yeah?” his thumbs rest lazily at the fat or your hips as he holds you gently, letting you do the work for once. he can feel the heat and moisture of you through the layers and he licks over his parted lips, unable to remove his eyes from the scene.

“s—so good, rafey!” you can barely talk, the material stimulating your clit just right. he spreads his legs, bucking his hips a little which makes you squeak in pleasure, body buckling on top of him.

“shit…” he drawls, hands briefly sliding up your dress to paw at your tits, running his thumbs over your hard nipples as a silent token of appreciation for you ditching the bra today. “why you always fuckin’ on daddy through his pants, huh? too shy to get rocked by the real thing or what?” his lips tug up in a smirk and you press your hands into his chest, concentrated on rubbing yourself on him with your eyes shut.

“be—because it feels so… oh god, ‘can cum like this, ohh —” you’re distracted, and rafe feels like he’s just about ready to explode. in a quick movement, he hooks an arm under your legs and flips you onto your back, making you whine as you bounce briefly.

“well, tough luck… i’m over it, aaand i’m in charge here, right? so…” with one hand he gathers your legs to push the backs of your knees up, unbuckling his belt with the one hand and freeing his cock, sliding it over your sloppy folds a few times. “time for me to have my fun.”

୧ ‧₊˚ 🐇 ⋅ 🌸 ⋆˙₊˚

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 9, Part 1

CW: Mental Health Struggles - Guide to content warnings

Back with the Fosters! All blood related, it’s just their last name is Foster. Carson is a teen and has more than his fair share of problems. On ageing up he found out he had asthma which led to him developing OCD in an attempt to control it. He is on some medication to help and at long last it seems that Sulani is getting a counsellor to see him for talk therapy. It’s his first appointment today so he’s feeling a bit worried.

Harvey: We definitely made the right choice moving here, no such thing as Winter

Kayleigh: I don’t know, the house feels too big with all the kids gone

Harvey: We’ll have grandkids to fill it soon enough. Morning Carson

Carson: Hmm? Oh, hey dad

Kayleigh: You okay honey?

Carson: You know me mum, nothing can dent me

Kayleigh: You say that but being a teen is hard, remember we were teens to

Carson: I am aware mum, that’s how growing up works

Harvey: Are you sure you don’t want to come for a run with me this morning

Carson: Thanks for the offer dad but I can’t risk it

Kayleigh: Because of the asthma?

Carson: Yeah. My inhaler disappeared

Kayleigh: What would Deanna’s brother say? You know the paranoid one

Harvey: Mod must have been deleted

Carson: It's not enough to talk about Reece but now you're talking about his stupid friends to? I really don’t know that I believe in mods but I swear I’ve looked everywhere

Kayleigh: You shouldn’t need it unless you have an attack right

Carson: Technically but it helps to know it’s there

Kayleigh: Well make sure you mention that to the counsellor

Carson: *sighs* I will mum, I’ve got a whole mental list of stuff

Harvey: When you’re finished meet us down by the beach, my club is having a get together

Carson: Will they all be there? Bob and James and stuff?

Harvey: Yep, and this is my chance to meet Ariadne. She likes fishing apparently and James is looking for more things he can do with her

Carson: Cool. Well I better get on, I’ve got homework and stuff first

Kayleigh: The appointment will go well honey, try not to worry too much

Using the most of the fine weather Kayleigh went out for a swim. Yes the ocean was right there but so was the swimming pool. Harvey went for his normal run around the island. He may be getting on in years but he wasn’t going to let his body condition slip away from him. Still inside Carson stuck to cleaning, there was a lot to do if he just looked for it. Dishes needed rinsing, and the sink could really do with a clean, and the fridge was getting messy inside. Eventually he did enough to take a break and call his best friend.

Carson: Hey, I didn’t wake you right?

Onyx: Nah, I’ve been up for hours just reading to Maelstrom

Carson: You and that horse, it’s like you’re merging in to a centaur

Onyx: You worried about seeing the counsellor

Carson: No! I mean... maybe, why

Onyx: You’re extra cranky when you’re stressed, which I get because me to you know

Carson: It’s just he’s bound to ask all these questions and what if I don’t want to talk about things

Onyx: I mean you’re going there to talk right? So you’ll be talking

Carson: Yeah but I just thought, what if he asks about like crushes and stuff

Onyx: Why would he ask that

Carson: It’s just... all my feelings are so confusing I can barely figure me out

Onyx: Well maybe talking about it could help. Just because I’m pan doesn’t mean I understand all about orientations. *chuckles* You really don’t want to ask her out till you get your head sorted huh

Carson: I really don’t. Am I just being a coward by not telling her I like her though

Onyx: Carson, it’s taken you long enough to find someone attractive at school dude, it makes sense you don’t want to rush it

Following her swim Kayleigh decided to do some more painting, she had maxed skill but practice never hurt, especially when she wanted to create masterpieces like the ones that hung framed on her walls. She’d recently moved some pictures of her kids and their partners down near her eye level to add inspiration.

Before he left the house Carson made sure to clean the stovetop. If he didn’t then his dad could start a fire and burn the house down while he was out. Then he would be an orphan, and his siblings would hate him. Safest thing was just to clean it himself to prevent any fire causing build up. He sighed. The intrusive thoughts were something else. He didn’t have a way to shut them off except going through the cleaning motions. Hopefully the counsellor could help.

Carson: Okay Mum, I’m... I’m going

Kayleigh: Be safe honey. Remember the counsellor is there to help you

Carson: Sure he is. Probably think I’m nuts and recommend I be locked up

Kayleigh: What was that dear

Carson: Nothing Mum, I’ll see you after

Previous (Knightstone) ... Next

[elysia-nsimp]

OC introduction: Buggie (Twisted Wonderland)

Basics

Orville Becket, more known as just Buggie (he/they/it/bug/bugself) is an Octavinelle student based on Oogie Boogie from Nightmare Before Christmas. It is the Motherfucker Ever. Also it’s somewhere on both the ace and aro spectrums, but still enjoys romantic relationships. They have described their gender as “mmmm bugs👍”

(Author’s note: I’m still very much learning about noun pronouns! I’m going to use the first three sets of pronouns for this intro for now.)

Buggie is… sure something from the Nightmare Realm. He just calls himself a nightmare creature and leaves it at that. No one knows exactly how old Buggie is, but… I mean, they’re a second year. He fuckimg hates all things school but is scarily good with potions.

Buggie’s maybe 5’9, little on the bigger side, but weighs like nothing? Pick it up and it will bite you. Anyway, Buggie doesn’t really do clubs, but does run a very legal gambling ring somewhere under NRC (and is the undefeated champion for completely legit reasons).

Hobbies, Talents, Preferences

Buggie enjoys cooking! They’re actually very good at making drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Makes yummy stew (don’t ask what’s in it). A lot of students are hesitant to eat whatever Buggie makes, but it’s probably one of the most competent cooks at NRC, up there with Jamil.

As expected, based on their name, Buggie also likes to take care of bugs. You will always find bugs on them or in their clothes… they have named every single one and remember each and every one of their names. They can also always tell each bug apart, no matter how similar they look. They can also communicate with these bugs as if they were people too. It’s kind of scary.

Buggie ALSO knows a little too much about nightmares. If you fall asleep near him, you WILL have very vivid and awful nightmares. Buggie cannot control this but will not apologize if he doesn’t consider you a friend.

He enjoys bugs, mostly. That and card/dice games. Challenge him to a game, I dare you. He’s unbeaten. His favourite snack is snake stew—no spiders tho. Least favourite food is any kind of salad. Bro won’t eat veggies if you force it down their throat. They also do NOT like it if you hurt their bugs… like… has a PHYSICAL reaction if you step on one. Do not the bugs.

Backstory

Buggie, being a creature from the Nightmare Realm, grew up with a VERY different set of rules than us. Even despite the difference in rules, I think we can all agree that Buggie’s parents SUCKED.

Buggie didn’t get SHIT growing up. No birthday celebrations, no “good job”s when it did good in school… nothin. It grew bitter from the neglect and ran away about a year before appearing at NRC. It wasn’t invited, but it’s here now. No one knows where exactly it came from or how it found itself here, but no one can get it to leave so it’s a student now.

He will not accept any gifts you try to give him. He doesn’t understand the concept of giving gifts to others… he lives off of a “take what you need to survive” mentality.

Unique Magic

Any time anyone asks about their unique magic, Buggie just laughs and responds with “wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?”

Anyway. Incantation.

“Roll the dice,

Don’t think twice,

And pay the price;

Snake Eyes!”

You may hear it mutter this incantation under its breath during gambles.

Relationships

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul HATES Buggie… it never wears its uniform right and every time he points it out, Buggie changes something so it’s even worse. Buggie just finds it funny though.

Jade Leech

Look, usually Buggie is the one making others scared, but Jade scares Buggie. Actually, there’s an AU where they get over their differences and become extremely close, but… yeah not generally the case.

Jamil Viper

Oh. Oh Jamil hates Buggie. Buggie just LOOOOVES dropping beetles down Jamil’s shirt. Jamil avoids Buggie like the plague.

Literally all the professors

No one can tame Buggie. Teachers hate them.

Other Works

Playlist 😈

Media

^ made by my buddy Howl lol

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

In her answer to the "get to know your moots better" tag game, @justaboot mentioned she'd love to go backpacking in Ireland.

As someone who lives here, I am making this post for anyone who wants to visit Ireland at any point, and I figure now's as good a time as any.

Weather

It rains like 24/7 here so bring a fucking rain coat. And an umbrella. I'm so serious. There will be mornings where you'll leave your hotel/tent/wherever you're staying and you'll think "It doesn't look like it's going to rain" NO. BRING THE COAT. The sky is lying to you. Just because it doesn't look like it'll rain does NOT mean it's not gonna rain!!

The west and north tend to get worse weather, but rain happens everywhere here.

History

Not gonna get into it here because that'd be wayyyy too long of a post, but a lot of our tourist attractions rely on people having at least some kind of knowledge of Irish history and/or folklore. It's interesting, if a bit depressing at times, but I'm pretty sure that goes for all countries.

Long story short we were under British control for a really really really REALLY long-ass time, and we fought like hell to get our independence. Oh - speaking of which, if you're anywhere near the border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, it's a good idea to avoid wearing orange ESPECIALLY in or around July. This is because orange is seen as a symbol of Unionist beliefs (ie, the belief that Ireland should be part of the UK) and it's a REALLY touchy subject for a lot of people. Do your research. Trust me on that.

Language

First off, most people speak English here (unless you're in a Gaeltacht region, where people mainly speak Irish. These are located in Cork, Donegal, Galway, Kerry, Meath, Mayo and Waterford, and they can be a great cultural experience but it's not for the faint of heart.) However, there are like a zillion different regional accents so good fucking luck trying to understand people 😂😂

The way Irish people talk has some nice quirks, some of which I'll share here.

Craic (pronounced "crack") No, it's not drugs. The word craic generally means a good time or other happenings. There are three main ways the word is used.

"What's the craic?" = What's up?/Any news?

To have the craic = To have fun, especially at a party

"No craic" = Boring, nothing happening at all.

If someone invites you for a "cuppa" or better yet, a "cupán tae" (pronounced "cup awn tay") they want you to come in and have a cup of tea with them. This is usually accompanied by a LOT of small talk, which Irish people are experts at.

Other expressions vary WILDLY by county and sometimes even by region, so I'm afraid I'm not much help to you here.

Things To Do Here

First off, our restaurants are quite overpriced, as are our hotels. However, our healthcare is fairly cheap.

We have SO MUCH NATURAL SCENERY. If the weather allows, definitely go out and explore it! Just watch out if you're hiking, as the rain makes a lot of places muddy and slippy, so maybe bring the good hiking boots. We also don't have a lot of animals that can kill you, which is great!

As I mentioned, we have a lot of places to go that are based in our history, and they can be great places to learn about Ireland's past. But if you're not interested in history (which is fine) there are plenty of other options. We have a wax museum in Dublin, a theme park called Emerald Park (formerly Tayto Park, after an Irish potato chip brand) and a LOT of great theatres, pubs and clubs. Oh yes, if there's one thing we do well here, it's our night life!

We even have a coastal trail called the Wild Atlantic Way, which stretches all the way up our western coastline, from Cork to Donegal.

And lastly, if you're in the area, there is this fucking LEGENDARY ice cream parlour in Sligo called Mammy Johnstons. It's RIGHT next to the beach, and (in my limited experience) it's the BEST ice cream place in the country.

So yeah! Enjoy your trip!

🇮🇪🇮🇪🇮🇪

[aeoki]

Seven Bridges - Hate Control: Chapter 11

Location: Yumenosaki Grounds Characters: Mitsuru, Adonis & Arashi

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< At that time. Yumenosaki grounds. >

Adonis: It’s not clearing up.

Arashi: Hm? You mean the weather?

Ehehe. The sky has been looking pretty melancholy recently. It can’t be helped due to the season.

It was supposed to clear up, though. But it suddenly started pouring – now my newly cleaned track and field uniform is sopping wet.

I think it’s going to keep raining until nightfall, so you don’t mind if we end our club activities here, do you?

Mitsuru: What~? But it’s been a long time since you last took part in our club activities, Arashi-chan-senpai!

Adonis: I’d say the same to you, Tenma. You haven’t been coming lately but is it because you were busy with work?

Arashi: My my, aren’t you quite the hot stock, Mitsuru-chan ♪

Mitsuru: I don’t come close to you guys, though! And I wasn’t busy because of work but I’ve been plotting something with a friend, y’know!

Arashi: Plotting? What do you mean by that…? That doesn’t sound peaceful – Well, I don’t think there’s anything I should worry about.

That friend isn’t someone bad, right…?

Mitsuru: It’s fine! They say they want to be a villain but they’re someone nice who cares about their big brother, y’know!

Arashi: So who is that?

Mitsuru: Mike-chan-senpai’s…

Oh wait, I’m not supposed to talk about them. That was close.

Arashi: What? Don’t be like that – you’re going to hide something from us?

Adonis: I don’t think you’re in any position to say that, Narukami.

Arashi: What do you mean?

Adonis: When I said it wasn’t clearing up, I was referring to your complexion.

Arashi: Yeah, that did occur to me but I didn’t want to talk about it, so I changed the subject.

Adonis: Is there something else you’re worried about?

No, nothing has been resolved so it’s natural for you to still have that gloomy look on you.

Arashi: Yeah. I heard Anzu-chan did her best and revised the proposal for “Tanabata Fest”, but we don’t know if everything will turn out well.

Adonis: You shouldn’t talk about it as if you’ve got nothing to do with it. We’ll also need “Knights’” skills for the success of “Tanabata Fest”. You should be more serious and be prepared to use all of your energy on it.

Arashi: I know. …I just wanted to declare once again that “Knights” will be taking part in “Tanabata Fest” even though we said we wouldn’t before.

Changing my attitude like a weather vane doesn’t leave a good impression and I fully intend on having the right attitude.

I’ll do a good job and make sure I don’t stand out and garner too much hate.

Adonis: That’s reassuring.

It’ll be the first idol work for “UNDEAD” in a while too. I’ll also work very hard.

…No, that’s not a good way to phrase it.

The variety shows my upperclassmen have been working hard in recently are also praiseworthy “idol work”. Although it seems Oogami doesn’t like the idea of it.

Arashi: Up until now, performing was what was considered idol activities at Yumenosaki. I think it’s only natural for us to think that way.

Kouga-chan should also learn to be more flexible. If he just wants to perform on stage, then he should be calling himself a musician, not an idol.

Adonis: That’s harsh. I think it’s fine to have different kinds of idols. I think they should have people acknowledge that they’re still an idol no matter what different things they do. That’s all there is to it.

Things like tradition, bias, common sense and the majority’s opinion will always try to label us as “something that isn’t an idol”.

I think it’s very regrettable.

…Wait. You changed the subject again, Narukami.

Arashi: You’ve grown into a tough opponent, you know that?

Adonis: You guys are the ones who trained me. I don’t want to talk about myself; I want to talk about you, Narukami.

Arashi: Adonis-chan, were you always the type of person to poke your nose into other people’s business?

I liked the Track and Field Club and “Knights” because I didn’t want to be too involved, you know?

Adonis: You’re right about that. We’re a gathering of humans who wish to compete individually and didn’t actively interact with each other.

But times have changed. I too have changed.

The position of captain was passed down to me from Mikejima-senpai and I shouldered the responsibilities of managing this small group – this small world – in a healthy way.

I don’t have the skills for it nor the experience of leading others. So I can’t say I’m doing a good job with my role.

But now that I’ve accepted that role, I want to make sure I do it perfectly. It might be difficult to do now, but someday, I want to improve and grow into someone who can be worthy of being the captain.

The reason why I’m getting deeply involved with you is part of that. It’s the first step in being closer to the me that I want to be.

Arashi: You’ve got it rough, “King”.

Adonis: It’s not that extravagant of a position. For now, at least.

But even if I’m not a king, I’m the captain of this Track and Field Club.

If the club members are going through a hard time, I’d like to help them as the captain.

I want to find out the reason behind your gloomy look and remove it. I think it’s just as important as beating a new personal record in a track and field event. Perhaps even more important.

Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Narukami?

Arashi: …………

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[mermaidinthecity]

And every night, I wake up from this one recurring dream where I'm driving through the city and the brakes go out on me. I can't stop at the red light, I can't swerve off the road. I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control. And I tell someone I love them just as a distraction. They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction. They're changing my machinery, and I just let it happen. I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined. Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am. Getting drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends. Push away all the people who know me the best. But it's me who's been making the bed. I'm so tired of being the girl that I am. Every good thing has turned into something I dread. And I'm playing the victim so well in my head. But it's me who's been making the bed. Me who's been making the bed. Pull the sheets over my head, yeah. Making the bed. Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am. Counting all of the beautiful things I regret. But it's me who's been making the bed. Me who's been making the bed. Pull the sheets over my head. Making the bed, oh.

Making The Bed by Olivia Rodrigo

[nickgerlich]

Get Ready To Shop

It’s fun to think back to the 80s. While it seems like they weren’t that long ago, we must sober up and realize that was—um—40 years ago, depending on which year you’re recalling. Those were good years for me. I earned a BA, MBA, and PhD, and started my job at WT. Oh, and got married the first time. OK, four out of five ain’t bad.



It was the time of hair bands, women in colorful leotards and cozy leg warmers, and Ronald Reagan. Actually, if you could mash up all of them into one, it would be pretty funny. And it was also the decade that televised home shopping clubs took root, thanks to the prevalence of cable TV.



Home Shopping Club (later Home Shopping Network, or HSN) was founded in 1982, and four years later, QVC (Quality Value Convenience) came along to compete. They’re both still in existence today, although the company that owns QVC now also owns HSN. It’s an alphabet soup, but the premise is the same: nonstop 24/7 live selling.



While these started out primarily as liquidators, they quickly grew into a variety of categories, especially clothing and accessories sought by women. Fashion designers jumped on board, drooling at the prospects of a sales platform that could stretch as long as the company wanted. Create excitement, show a quantity available countdown clock, and voilá! The phones were ringing off the hook as folks called in (remember, this was pre-internet!).

To be honest, I think those original stations preyed upon lonely old women. My mother was one of them. She bought a lot of worthless junk from them, but at the same time, they provided entertainment. For the life of me, I cannot understand how having someone sell to you nonstop is entertaining, but it was.

I never tuned in to those stations on my own, but would be subjected to them whenever we visited Florida. And now that both are gone, I haven’t even given a passing thought to them. Well, until right now, when I discovered that livestream shopping may be the new rage, and outlets like Amazon, TikTok, and YouTube are actually banking on them.

It’s a new spin on an old idea, and looks and feels a lot different from the 24/7 onslaught on cable. This time around the people doing the selling are influencers, and they call the shots for when they go live. And among the three platforms duking it out for prominence, only Amazon can actually stock the inventory and make for seamless transactions.

All of which means that, if you are a fan and potential customer of someone you follow, you better be ready to go shopping whenever they pull the trigger. In some regards, this now sounds like BeReal, in which users have no control over when they are called to action.

Perhaps the most ironic aspect of livestream shopping is that it became a “thing” in China a few years ago, especially during the pandemic. And while Amazon found it could not export its ways to China, the opposite may very well prove to be true here. Looks like another weather balloon to me.

Personally, I’m just not that much of a shopper. I tend to be very purposive, having done my homework for a long time on pricey objects, saving my money, and waiting out the periodic sales. I do not, however, respond well to someone barking out orders and telling me to get on this.

But then again, it may very well work stateside, where I suspect the demographics will trend sharply toward Gen-Z, and, depending on the product categories, probably more female than male. I cannot speak for all of the people of my gender, but I’ve got too many things going on during my waking hours to even consider being on-call for a sale. That’s me, though. YMMV. And to be fair, I can’t picture many women beyond their 20s—working, with children, bills to pay, spouses or partners—yeah, this may be a non-starter with them as well.



Thankfully, online shopping and app usage is lowest among seniors, so people like my mother are probably not in the new target market. Otherwise, we might see history repeating itself.

Just leave the bad clothing in your closet.

Dr “Hard Pass“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

Oct. 8, 2024

THE WINING NAME IS... “UTAH HOCKEY CLUB”

— OH NO, SAY IT AIN'T SO!

Well, this is embarrassing. Utah's new hockey club has been named “Utah Hockey Club.” What? No, say it ain't so. What if we get a Major League Baseball franchise and they name it “Utah Baseball Franchise.” You're right Wilson, it's like an acid flashback to the '70s when people named stuff with generic labels. Hence, “The Pie” pizzeria; Bob Dylan's backup band was dubbed “The Band” ; a Salt Lake City-based photographer called himself “The Photographer” on business cards... and so it went. Recently, you may recall, “Utah Hockey Club” was among the monikers entered in a naming contest by the franchise once known as the Arizona Coyotes that now makes its home in Salt Lake City. Some of the other submissions included Utah Mammoth, Utah Outlaws and Utah Venom. Not satisfied, the staff here at Smart Bomb also held a naming contest. Here are some of our readers suggestions: Swarming Crickets; Stormin' Mormons; Utah Missionaries; Skating Apostles; Ice Quorum; Salt Lake Salamanders and Flying Saints — any one of which beats the pants off “Utah Hockey Club.” Imagine this conversation: Guy one: Hey man, you gotta hockey team in Salt Lake? Guy two: Yeah, we do. Guy one: Well, what's it called. Guy two: Hockey Club. Guy one: Right, but what's it's name? Guy two: Hockey Club. Guy one” Do you have a learning disability? What is it called. Guy two: Hockey Club. Guy one: You're sick, you know that.

“FLY BRAIN” NO INSULT

— EVEN TO MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE

Georgia firebrand Marjorie Taylor Green (MTG) might not believe it — or maybe she would — but scientists have just mapped the fruit fly brain. No Wilson, we're not making this up — they have mapped more than 50 million connections in a brain the size of a poppy seed! WOW! “They eat. They navigate toward [smell signals],” said John Ngai, director of the National Institutes of Health’s BRAIN Initiative. “They show very sophisticated behaviors like mating behaviors, behaviors of aggression and other social behaviors.” And they can see ultraviolet light. It makes you wonder, Wilson, what could happen if MTG got a hold of this information. Remember she said California's deadly Camp Fire in 2018 was caused by Jewish space lasers; called Barack Obama a muslim; said the deadly Parkland school shooting were 17 people died was made up; and that the mass shooting that killed 58 concert-goers in Las Vegas was a government-orchestrated plan to strip away Second Amendment rights. We could go on forever but... Her latest conspiracy is that the weather can be controlled. Regarding Hurricane Helene, MTG posted that, “Yes, they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.” OK Wilson, go ahead, say it: “It can't be done.” Scientists hope some day to map the human brain. It could lead to treatment of dementia and other ills. But researchers shouldn't use MTG as a participant. She could skew results toward the fruit fly.

CAN'T BELIEVE THEIR LYIN' EYES

Hey Wilson, have you heard that rumor that Trump and his minions planned a coup on Jan. 6, 2001, that led to a giant mob attacking the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. A majority of folks who identify as Republicans and Trump supporters say it's just make believe. They might be surprised to know that a St. George man has just been arrested for his part in the rampage. He's the 18th Utahn to be arrested for the Jan. 6 upheaval. Across the nation some 1,200 have been charged — 460 of them got prison sentences. That's quite something when you consider Jan. 6 was just another ordinary day at the capital: families visiting the hallowed halls of our government. Former President Donald Trump said recently that all he did on the fateful day was give a speech. He said in part: “You've got to fight like hell... and if you don't you're not going to have a country.” Trump told the crowd of thousands that he would march with them to Capitol Hill. (The Secret Service would not allow him to go. Darn the luck.) Last week a 165-page legal brief was unsealed in federal court with more evidence of Trump's activities that day. According to the document, Trump said to his daughter Ivanka: “It doesn't matter if you won or lost the election. You still have to fight like hell.” Of course, it's all made up because how could there be more evidence for something that didn't happen. Or maybe Republicans just can't believe their lyin' eyes.

Post script — That's gonna do it for another balmy Indian Summer week here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of impending cataclysms so you don't have to. Well Wilson, Zion may not be perfect but at least we don't have hurricanes. Talk about the Mean Season. Yowza! Florida has alligators, water moccasins, and flying bugs big enough to carry off little children. Why do people live there, anyway — because it doesn't snow. Duh. Of course we do have our share of dangers here, as well. We've got the Inland Port Authority, the State Trust Lands Administration, the Utah Alcohol Beverages Service Commission, the Mormon Genealogy Library, the State Division of Air Quality and Sen. Mike “I'm-A-Genius” Lee. But not to worry, said Russell M. Nelson, the 100-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, last weekend: “The Savior is coming again.” Finally Wilson, some good news. When he gets here he may be surprised to find his stepbrother, Donald J. Trump, whom white evangelicals say was sent by God. It gives new meaning to the words “impending cataclysm.” You're probably right Wilson, we're going to need some real divine intervention to keep the country together after the Nov. 5 election. Maybe we should pray that Jesus gets here fast. It couldn't hurt.

Some of the guys in the Smart Bomb Band think folks worry too much about the election, the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, global climate change, the price of gasoline and eggs, and whether the Utah Jazz have a snowball's chance of making the playoffs. So Wilson, get the guys to put down the bong and take us outa here with some feel good theme to boost our spirits:

That's great! It starts with an earthquake Birds and snakes, an aeroplane and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn World serves its own needs, don't mis-serve your own needs Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no strength The ladder starts to clatter with fear of height, down height Wire in a fire, representing seven games In a government for hire and a combat site Left of west and coming in a hurry With the furies breathing down your neck

It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop Look at that low plane! Fine, then Uh oh, overflow, population, Common Food

But it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light Feeling pretty psyched It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine

(It's The End Of The World As We Know It — R.E.M.)

[niniukegirll]

Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done

Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun

Another piece of plastic I could just throw away

Another conversation with nothing good to say

I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can

Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am

Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine

Another thing I forced to be a sign

Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am

Gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends

Push away all the people who know me the best

But it's me who's been makin' the bed

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am

Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread

And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head

But it's me who's been makin' the bed

Me who's been makin' the bed

Pull the sheets over my head, yeah

Makin' the bed

And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream

Where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me

I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road

I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control

And I tell someone I love them just as a distraction

They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction

They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen

I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined

Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am

Gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends

Push away all the people who know me the best

But it's me who's been makin' the bed

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am

Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread

And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head

But it's me who's been makin' the bed

Me who's been makin' the bed

Pull the sheets over my head, yeah

Makin' the bed

Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am

Countin' all of the beautiful things I regret

But it's me who's been makin' the bed

Me who's been makin' the bed

Pull the sheets over my head

Makin' the bed, oh-oh

[oh-my-damn]

Bestie if you have time could you listen to making the bed by Olivia Rodrigo and explain what’s it about cuz I don’t get and the song is so good😭

Hi baby!

Yes of course I can

I've gotten a few requests to listen to this album (although idk if its bc they just want my opinion or a lyrical breakdown lmao but I'm interpreting yours as wanting me to do a lyrical breakdown)

Let's get into it

Making the Bed by Olivia Rodrigo

Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun Another piece of plastic I could just throw away Another conversation with nothing good to say I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am Another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine Another thing I forced to be a sign

(I feel like this is pointing towards privilege and fame. She knows about her privilege, it may even be about the dreams she longed for that she has now achieved. She feels ungrateful for not appreciating it, fully. She feels ungrateful for wishing for things that she now takes for granted.)

Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am Gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends Push away all the people who know me the best But it's me who's been makin' the bed

(This means she did this to herself/this is what she wanted but it doesn't feel the way she expected it to. Fair weather friends means people who are around and who you call friends, but aren't truly. Like those people in your life you spend time with but somehow they don't know a single real thing about you.)

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head But it's me who's been makin' the bed

(Again, this is something she worked for and towards, but it doesn't feel the way she expected. I'm guessing it's about fame or "making it" in the music industry)

Me who's been makin' the bed Pull the sheets over my head, yeah Makin' the bed

And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream Where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control

(This is sad. It's about how she is no longer in control of her own life and even if she tries, she cannot regain the control and choices and decisions over her own life she once had.)

And I tell someone I love them just as a distraction They tell me that they love me like I'm some tourist attraction They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen I got the things I wanted, it's just not what I imagined

(Again, fame. She's a tourist attraction = they're not with her for her, but for who she is now, because of the fame she gained. It's not genuine.)

Well, sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am Gettin' drunk at a club with my fair-weather friends Push away all the people who know me the best But it's me who's been makin' the bed

(Pushing away old friends or the people who truly knew her because she got caught up in the game of fame)

I'm so tired of bein' the girl that I am Every good thing has turned into somethin' I dread And I'm playin' the victim so well in my head But it's me who's been makin' the bed

Me who's been makin' the bed Pull the sheets over my head, yeah Makin' the bed

Sometimes I feel like I don't wanna be where I am Countin' all of the beautiful things I regret But it's me who's been makin' the bed Me who's been makin' the bed Pull the sheets over my head Makin' the bed, oh-oh

(To me, it seems like a song about fame and the regrets she has now because of it, despite wanting it so badly before it happened. It didn't turn out the way she had hoped or dreamed, it doesn't feel the way she expected. It didn't fix her.)

Thank you for the request honey ❤️

[its-a-hil]

okay ask game under the read more doing all of them bc why not i love talking about myself

1) comfort characters going specifically with the ones i dont kin - ringo from penguindrum, mu ye from half, ,,,, ,,, i think that might be it actually im too much of a kinnie for this uwu

2) lighter or matches matches even though im bad at them i just like scraping the thing against the thing with the fear that ill burn my fingers. dont really use them recently though since my family hasnt really lit candles in a long time

3) do i leave the window open at night god no how could i it's too cold out there give me my warm cozy carbon dioxide pls

4) which cryptid do i believe in kraken really anything related to the sea i feel like we have the ground fairly well mapped up but the sea is SO BIG

5) eye color i mean basic brown, but also ive been complimented on them by total strangers multiple times so i just dont fucking get it

6) why did i do that look that particular scene in tales of arise is just so bad i am losing my mind over it help i cant stop seeing it and imagining how much better it could be but they wanted to ship the children in a way that didnt make any fucking sense i just

7) hair ties or scrunchies both! a scrunchie is nice for if i dont want to put effort into it, but if im braiding or even just splitting my hair bilaterally hair ties just work better and feel cleaner (<- all of her scrunchies are different colors and it makes her feel off-balance to use two of them)

8) number of water bottles in my room just the one, stainless steel reusable camelback my beloved <3

9) hot coffee or cold coffee no. give me (filtered) tap water 99% of the time and chai if im in a social situation with my indian friends and that is IT

10) would i slaughter the rich i mean not really it wouldnt fix anything since capitalism isn't a group of people it's a pervasive system i would be down to de-rich the rich though that sounds way more humanizing for all involved parties

11) fav extracurricular activity toss-up between puzzle club and rock climbing cross country and theater are pretty fun too but you need to have a social group in place to really enjoy them (<- has learned this lesson multiple times and yet)

12) what kind of day is it a day where i lose my mind to tales of berseria endgame content apparently

13) last time i ate just now had dinner with parents, we had idli it was great i love idli

14) do i love the smell of earth after it rains not particularly but i do love charting a path on the sidewalk and jumping over puddles while the rain is coming down in droves and i have 4 minutes to get to class

15) am i a parent nah but i'd be happy to be one someday if im allowed to adopt and/or womb transplants and we havent abolished parenthood yet

16) can i drive yes and i dont want to expunge this knowledge from my brain pls #smash your local car

17) farsighted or nearsighted i think im very slightly farsighted but not enough to need glasses so idrc

18) hair products i use nothing special just like shampoo and conditioner i dont blowdry unless absolutely necessary though i just let it drip into my shirt that's more comfy

19) would i paint your nails at a sleepover oh fuck yeah girlie but you have to be ready for me to make mistakes bc i am clumsy as shit and my fine motor control is really lacking sometimes and honestly i would be too scared id fuck something up but i would still do it anyway bc you asked and i am Helpful™ as part of my sense of self which is Definitely healthy i promise you dont need to worry about a thing

20) do i say soda or pop soda this is a very boring question i cant even think of a good way to elaborate on it

21) something ive kept since childhood my yamaha keyboard that's probably older than me and doesnt have a full piano range or pedals but i love it nonetheless

22) what type of person am i ideologically against personality quizzes and boxes next question

23) how do i feel about chilly weather while im in a warm building: ugh it's so cold outside i hate this my skin is dry and the trees are dead it's so gross i need to build a coal power plant to end this while im outside: *exhales to see the puff of water vapor* *swishes my scarf* *smiles at the beauty and resilience of nature*

24) if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing depends how high the rooftop is if it's like more than a couple stories id just be looking out over the world and possibly peoplewatching if that's available if it's just like a house, i'd take in the air and just kinda vibe yknow?

25) perfume / body spray or lotion? i mean lotion my skin will constantly itch horribly if i dont put it own and i have the scars on my thighs to prove it

26) a scenario ive replayed multiple times i did this so often in so many ways throughout middle/high school that i just kinda got burnt out from it and now i really dont like thinking about it sorry before you ask no she was not okay

27) about how many hours of sleep do i get probably about 9 on average but i can function with any amount for a single day if i had enough the day before

28) do i wear a mask of course i do!! i cant when im coerced into certain social situations but i never initiate something like that and i always wear one at my job or on errands plus it's just nice to wear when it's cold out so your lungs dont freeze

29) how do i like my shower water hot like i need to feel a tiny bit of stinging or it just isnt hot enough

30) are there dishes in my room no a few candy bags but anything that touched actual food is in the trash

31) what type of music keeps me grounded changes constantly, pretty much the song ive been listening to recently for a while it was heir of grief (homestuck) but it's slowly moved around to random japanese music along with my general taste

32) do i have a favorite towel nah i just kinda use whatever will stay dry

33) the last adventure ive been on when i went to the japanese arcade and saw a ddr-like game with hatsune miku in it probably

34) is there a song i know every word to by heart sure - a few crane wives songs, but mostly it's japanese songs that i dont know what most of the words mean i just memorized the phonemes

35) whats my timezone eastern standard time in winter, eastern summer time in summer, bc EDT is a horrible acronym that no one ever uses and it's obvious from context

36) how many times have i changed my url none really but also i havent been using tumblr that long anyway if we count twitter i changed it twice - once bc i didnt like my old branding and again bc 'shill' is a bad word to have in your twitter @ when the nft bots are constantly looking for it

37) someone in my life i've known for 10+ years pretty much most of my elementary/middle school friend group we stayed in touch throughout high school and college

38) a soap bar that smells good soap bars are HORRIBLE and if i use them they dry out my skin and i die (see 25)

39) do i use lip balm no im lazy and usually drinking water is enough to keep them more or less moisturized

40) did i have snacks today girl yes and theyre all called chocolate

41) how do i take my coffee this is bullying. i am being cyberbullied right now.

42) an app i use frequently besides this one discord, firefox for android, bang dream girls band party, the obs camera app that lets me put hello kitty velvet crowe onstream and pat her head

43) my take on spicy foods they're good! i like them i also like nonspicy foods though it's kinda like with garlic im happy either way

44) if i had a free pass to kill anyone, who i mean who are you a cop but no one i wouldnt be able to kill someone either emotionally or practically i am too clumsy and also i refuse to do that unless someone i care about is immediately in danger and that's the only way i can think of to save them

45) can i remember what happened yesterday yeah i went to work, went rock climbing, came home and fucked around on my puter for a few hours

46) fav holiday film what is a holiday film *thinks* groundhog day and that's my final answer

47) last message i sent "oh sorry any time works for me really" <- setting up a time to go rock climbing with my sister

48) when did i first try an alcoholic beverage summer solstice 2021 (3 months before i turned 21) i had a bottle of angry orchard and it did not make the social interaction any easier to bear

49) can i skip rocks ive done it before but it's been a long time i know the basic mechanics though i could probably get it back in a couple attempts, though i dont think ive ever managed more than like 3 skips

50) can you tag me in random stuff sure but id prefer if you share it as a dm so i can actually like. discuss it with you please if any of my oomfies have read this far and see birdgirl art (or birdboy art im so starved) i NEED to see it

[arpmemething2]

Scott the Woz sentence starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.     Feel free to change pronouns as needed. 

“Something better than a lobotomy?”

"Poverty? No thanks."

“Here’s a gun, kill a frog”

I always base my decisions off of what Crest does."

"I smell pointless!"

“Oh, hi! You caught me in a goose!”

“We can put it in a wheel, put it in a gun, put it in a kid”

“These simply look really nice. ‘Like ants’”

“... Oh s**t, it’s pronounced ‘breast’? I thought it was always pronounced ‘beans’”

“THIS GAME BLOWS!”

"Yeah, okay, I wanna f**k a font. Who doesn't?"

“Meet up with a meteorologist, tell him to stop the rain”

"NASDAQ was only my 47th word."

"Hey, hear that? I'm a penis!"

"This is f**king incredible!"

"Oh s**t, it's a white guy!"

"F**k you, house."

“He’s not addicted, he just does it everyday”

"I've always wanted to feel like a Walmart."

"Technically speaking, IBM owns the weather."

"It's dangerous to ask me words."

"Which pregnant woman will squirt one out first? Place your bets and let's find out!"

"I made Lowe's."

"You know what I could go for right now? A working kidney, I have three days to live"

“Death is the most common cause for death”

"Hi, I'll take one corn dog."

"I really shouldn't have spat in this to mark my page."

“If you can’t sue a person, why talk to them?”

"I got f**king soap."

“And I definitely transformed it into my own little virgin circus”

“I like candles, sue me.”

“Something better than a sponge?”

"There's a strict no skin policy! If it ain't covered up, it's getting thrown out. If you don't abide by this policy, you must have flashlight taped to crotch"

"PLEASE F**K ME!"

"I f**king hate circles!"

“He’s a snitch, he’s a killer, but he’s my friend”

“It really keeps you on your toes, like a mouse”

"Join the club, own a bag."

"Oh f**k, the letters are evolving!"

"Three "ho"s and a merry Jesus' birthday is on December 25th."

“‘Do you agree to practice safe sex?’ What is this, middle school? Lame!”

"FELLAS! FELLAS! I AM SO HORNY!"

"With Thanksgiving around the corner, what am I going to do if I can't cook? Be thankful?"

“What, does it look like I’m made out of blood to you?!”

"Finally, the cure for all sex."

"Diet God is still God."

"Let's talk sponges."

"Yeah, you can get laid, on the go."

"Oh please God help, I don't wanna look like a jackass playing Wii Music!"

"What the f**k WAS THIS THING?"

"Here we have sex wall."

“Come on, this is America, I like Mickey Mouse and f*cking my wife”

"I want to feel smart but I don't want to do anything about it."

“‘What does a woman say after a man purposes?’ I’ll think about it”

“F**k yeah, now that’s what I call a baby!”

"Here's a message to all you serial killers out there. STOP."

“Did you know hands could hold garbage and f**king garbage?”

"OH MY GOD!"

"How do you think it would feel if they didn't pick you, they picked a dead you?"

"Studies show that 9 out of 10 gamers play video games!"

"We're selling soup now."

"I've always wanted to say yes to Guy Fieri."

"Now, I am the least musically viable soul on the planet so it's just cool to me that the cardboard's making noise."

"Pump the brakes, Speed Racer, nobody puts religion in my Dig Dug."

“Oh my God, he has a face?!”

"Hey all!"

“I always leave my fridge unplugged to save energy”

"First things first: this game has controls. We use them to play this game and playing results in a win or a loss."

“I don’t want to wait to be disappointed, this isn’t a pregnancy!”

"I've been staring at this all day, I still don't get it."

“It’s my honor to tell you that you have a urinary tract infection!”

"Beep beep, disappointment coming through."

[novamirmirsblog]

Favourite crime pt 2

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word Count: 2936

Genre: angsty fluff? or fluffy angst 👀

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, slight coercion into sex (it doesn't happen tho)

Part 1 is here

A/n: The long awaited part two is officially here. I had lots of people who wanted the reader to move on, people who wanted them to get back together and people who wanted both. Thank you everyone for your INDECISIVENESS (kidding. ily). Also Emma was a randomly generated name - I'm sorry :3

Did I write this fic instead of sleeping? Yes. I have no regrets.

It had been a year since you moved back home. The seasons had come and gone and with that, so had your thoughts of Natasha. The same could not be said for the assassin. She had spent a blissful 3 months with Bruce before he had dropped off the face of the Earth and she was missing you. By the 5th month, she had stopped moping about and tried to find you. She searched everywhere but your town was large and unfamiliar and you didn’t want to be found.

Natasha both regretted what she had said and didn't. She regretted it because she realised just how much she adored you once she saw all the areas Bruce fell short in. You knew her better than she sometimes knew herself. You knew when to back off and when to put pressure on. You knew when she needed control and when you needed to take control. You knew when she wanted ice cream or when she wanted brownies. Bruce didn't. However, a part of her didn't regret those nasty things she said because she really didn't deserve you. You were everything she wasn’t, and she didn't know how to measure up to you.

She never voiced these concerns and so they festered and grew until she believed the only way out was to cheat. She knew that was the only thing that could drive you away. Natasha had told you all about her past, how she believed the Red Room had stripped her of her humanity – of her choice whether to become a mother. She knew there were other ways to have children - of course there were, but she hated the fact they had taken that option from her.

You were not like Natasha. You voiced your concerns which is why she knew exactly what to say and do to get you to hate her. Your previous boyfriend had cheated on you with your once best friend. You had watched as your father cheated on your mother and how that made her a hollow shell for a while, her never understanding why the man she loved could hurt her in that way. Supposedly, everyone models their future relationships on what their parents’ relationship looked like. Perhaps that’s why you kept choosing the cheaters. You were content with where you were. You had a forest, a busy town, and a beach all within a 15-mile radius of your house. You were far enough from civilisation that you could forget about reality for a while but close enough to occasionally dip back in whenever you wanted to.

You had kept in contact with Tony and Pepper, congratulating them on the arrival of Morgan and insisting that they should visit. You also continued to occasionally talk to Wanda when Carol was off world. Carol was overjoyed when she found out you had started dating someone new.

You had met Emma when you were taking a dip back into reality at the local supermarket. Her blonde hair vaguely reminded you of a woman you used to know, and you guessed that’s why you felt drawn to her. It wasn’t the electrical crackle that stole your breath away like your first meeting with Natasha, but it was something. Emma could occasionally be a little controlling, but you guessed that’s what normal relationships were like. She didn’t like you going to bars or pubs anymore and you certainly weren’t allowed in any clubs. You didn’t mind it too much as you hardly minded giving up a few nights out if it meant you could have something that resembled normalcy.

“Who’s that?” Emma asked, your face illuminated from your phone as the ding rang out.

“A friend. He’s bringing his wife and new baby over tomorrow and was reminding me to baby-proof the house.” You smiled lightly as you texted Tony back. You hadn’t mentioned to Emma that you were an ex-avenger, but it just kept slipping your mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is he? Where will he be staying?”

“I just forgot. Sorry. He’ll be staying here.”

“But you only have a single bed.”

“Yeah. I was planning to sleep on that and Tony, Pepper and the baby can stay in my room.”

“You mean our room.”

You said nothing, too engrossed in arguing with Tony about how under no circumstances will there be any celery in your house. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Our room, right Y/n?”

“Um yeah.” You wave her off was apparently your second mistake, but you didn’t multi-task too well and so half answers were all you were good for while texting.

“I have been your girlfriend for 3 months Y/n. The least you could do is answer me properly and tell me what’s going on in your life.” She huffed, pushing your feet from her lap, and turning to face away from you, all of which you missed. You really weren’t having that evil green vegetable in your house.

“Seriously, what is even so important that you’re ignoring me right now!” Emma’s voice cut through the fog, and you looked at her with a blank expression. It was times like these that you really missed Na- No. You refused to go there. You didn’t miss her. You were over her.

“No celery.”

Emma threw her hands up in the air. “You seriously don’t see what’s wrong, do you?”

“No.” You tilted your head, confused at what your girlfriend was talking about.

“Well, I’m not just going to tell you! Jesus. You should know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma stood up in a huff, making a lot of noise while getting ready to leave.

“Okay – bye” Your attention was bought back to the phone when Tony sent you a cute video of Morgan crawling about, probably as a bribe to get you to buy celery. You stood, watching the video a few times before you shut off your phone, finally getting around to babyproofing your house.

~~~~~

Babyproofing a house was a lot more work than you originally thought. You had spent most the night picking sharp objects up from baby-height areas and making sure you hadn’t left any weapons about. All the guns taped under tables had to be relocated and you found enough change to set you up for retirement. You just hoped and prayed there were no small beads for Morgan to choke on. You didn’t even get around to putting soft corners on the edges of tables and counter tops, but you told yourself that it was survival of the fittest at that point. The whole endeavour had taken most the night which is how you found yourself with only an hour till Tony, Pepper and Morgan arrived.

There was a knock on the door, and you saw that you were 15 minutes late. Luckily your girlfriend had arrived half an hour before so you figured she could let them in. You shouted down, telling her to get the door as you finished putting on your socks.

“Hiya baby!” You cooed at Morgan babbling in Pepper’s arms, watching as her chubby hands reached for your hair, grabbing on with a crazy amount of strength. “Oh my god you’re strong. Pep, are you sure she’s Tony’s? I’m pretty sure she’s as strong as Thor.” You laughed, looking over at Tony. Your face dropped into careful neutrality as you saw the redhead standing behind him.

“Of course she’s mine doofus. We had multiple paternity tests.” Tony winked.

You didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready. Your throat went dry as you asked if anyone wanted any drinks, your girlfriend waving them into the living room. You prepared the drinks, and you felt a presence behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist, their head resting on your back. You hated it. You felt suffocated. You took a breath and handed half the drinks to Emma, opting to grab a wine glass and fill it with the wine you had been saving for a special occasion. It might not have been a special occasion, but you needed something strong to get though the next few hours and you knew this would do the job.

You made your way back into the living room and Tony gestured to Emma “I don’t think we’ve met yet.”

“I’m Emma.”

“Tony. This is Pepper, Morgan and Natasha.” Your heart dropped at the mention of her name, realising that she wasn’t some cruel hallucination but was in fact standing in your living room.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce you all.” You smiled and took another large swig from your glass.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with alcohol?”

“Because you’re a parent now.” You rolled your eyes at Tony, feeling Natasha stare holes into your face.

“So I need it even more!” Pepper hit Tony as he said that, causing Morgan to laugh.

“Don’t worry about Y/n getting drunk, she can handle her alcohol pretty well.”

“We know.” Natasha finally spoke. Her voice bought back floods of memories and you realised you missed her voice – just the tiniest amount. “Who exactly are you to Y/n?” To anyone else, the question was flippant, like asking about the weather but you, Tony and Pepper could all hear the carefully laced venom within her words and while the question sounded like it was aimed at your girlfriend, you could tell she was speaking to you.

“Where’s Bruce this fine day?” You shot back, not letting Emma speak.

“My question first.” Natasha finally turned her gaze to focus on you.

“Why are you here?” You felt Emma’s arm slither possessively around your waist. Perhaps if it had been another day, you would have appreciated it but right now, you felt like you were drowning. She held you too tight, you couldn’t move.

“Ah.” Natasha wore a smug look on her face and yet her eyes flashed with hurt. You hated that she had found out information you weren’t willing to give.

“Why are you here Agent Romanoff.” You wanted- no needed her to answer you. You needed to know why she came to you. Then you looked at Tony. “Why would you bring her here?” Your voice was level, Morgan was pulling at your leg to get you to pick her up. You used that as an excuse to escape your girlfriend’s grip.

“We need you back.”

“So you bring your baby to try and bribe me back?” You ran a hand through your hair, lightly bouncing Morgan. “That I can understand but why bring her?” You waved at Natasha, feeling both her and Emma’s eyes bore into you.

“She’s part of the team too and you both need to get on.” Pepper said.

“You were in on this too?” Your throat felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly.

“I’m sorry but who exactly are you?” Emma asked. Natasha scoffed at her, folding her arms, and rolling her eyes.

Everything was a little too loud and muffled. It felt as if you were underwater. The sun was too bright, and it made everything a little too hard to look at. You could see your furniture, but it wouldn’t stay in your brain long enough for you to fully register it. You placed Morgan on the sofa and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to focus. When you opened them again you looked straight at Natasha.

“I am not going to play nice with you. You broke me and now that I’m moving on you suddenly decide to show up? No. I don’t believe it. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Leave me alone. Besides, I thought I was a ‘fun little distraction’.” You spat at Natasha. You were tired of being the bigger person. She had hurt you and you wanted to watch her bleed. It’s why you leant over and kissed Emma harshly, why you let out a slight moan so Natasha could hear. It didn’t matter that it was completely fake because even though you knew you should feel satisfaction at Natasha’s hurt face, the twinge of sadness upset you more than you would have liked.

Natasha knew the kiss was forced. She knew it was, but it didn’t stop the knife digging deeper into her heart. You had moved on and she had to respect that. She had said some awful things to you, and you really did deserve someone much better than her. You stormed out of the house, saying that you were going for a walk, leaving your girlfriend to entertain your guests.

~~~~~

It was dark by the time you got back. You saw Natasha on the sofa and ignored her as you walked straight to the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was curl up and sleep this horrible day into the past but unfortunately for you, you had a girlfriend sitting on the bed.

“This bed isn’t big enough for-” Emma cut you off with a rough kiss. “Emma not now-”

“Yes now. I want to remind your ex what she’s missing.” Emma went back to kissing you and you wanted to cry. You didn’t like her possessiveness, didn’t like her jealousy. With Natasha that had been fun but with Emma, it made you feel afraid.

“Emma seriously.” You grabbed her wrist, not letting her reach into your underwear.

Emma huffed and stepped back. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m really tired. Can’t we just sleep?”

“It’s your ex, isn’t it? Why is she even here? I can’t believe you were going to just let her stay here and not tell me!”

“I didn’t know she was coming!” You were both stage whispering, conscious of the fact there was a baby that most likely didn’t sleep all that often.

“Then kick her out!”

You said nothing. You couldn’t just kick her out. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Oh my god you still love her. You still love her and she’s in love with someone else. Or she was. Ha.” Emma let out a bark of laughter. “That’s so fucking rich. You know what, crawl back to her but don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again do you hear me?”

“Emma that’s not- I don’t love her anymore. I hate her. She ruined my life.”

“You truly hate her?” You nodded at her. “Supposedly, you can only truly hate someone if you loved them first. We’re done Y/n”

“Seriously?! What? Because I used to love Natasha? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? Grow up Emma. I’ve loved people before you and at this rate, I’ll love people after you too. I’m tired. I don’t have to have sex with you. You can’t make me.”

“I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to have sex with me!”

“Well not when I’ve had a long ass day!”

“Guys, I think you might wake Morgan.” You winced a little at the addition of Natasha. You knew this was going to end badly.

“This is my fucking house!” Emma said, not lowering her tone.

“Actually, it’s Y/n’s.” Natasha calmly stated. She really wasn’t going to rise to the bait.

Your girl- sorry- ex-girlfriend, fumed next to you. “You know what? Have her. She’s so screwed over from whatever you pulled that I don’t think she can love anyone ever again anyway.” Emma seethed, grabbing her shoes, and slamming the door on the way out. The sound of baby Morgan crying echoed through the house.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You ran your hand over your face, the exhaustion of the whole day catching up with you.

“No, it’s not. I betrayed your trust over the one thing I knew you couldn’t tolerate. I knew how hurtful cheating is to you and I did it anyway. I know it’s not an excuse, but I guess I just felt like you deserved someone more than me. Someone better.”

You said nothing. You were so so tired. You missed her and it ached, but you couldn’t forget what she had done. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I know but please let me try again. Bruce wasn’t worth it. He only made me realise how much I love you.” Tears were filling up Natasha’s beautiful eyes and you could see just how tired she looked.

“I missed you.” You whispered out, not wanting to break whatever was being formed

“I missed you too. So so much.”

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet, but…you can have one more chance Natasha. That’s it. You get one chance at my forgiveness.”

“Okay!” Natasha sniffled slightly “I promise I won’t mess this up.”

“I’m serious Natasha. One chance. I don’t play baseball. There are no three strikes.”

Natasha gingerly reached up to cup your face. “I won’t waste this.”

“Good because I never really stopped loving you and I’d hate to be a simp.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that dove.” Natasha let out a watery laugh.

“Excuse me?” You let out a fake gasp and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret.” Natasha ushered you to lean closer and you did, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered, “I’ve been whipped for you for as long as I can remember.”

You were looking forward to all the ways Natasha was going to make it up to you and hopefully, you’d get to give Bruce a good punch too. You both knew it was going to be a long road ahead but you both felt a little more ready for what lies next.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Try

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/X-Men

Summary: Warren has been through hell and then some, but will meeting his soulmate turn that around?

Note: That’s right, it’s ya girl, back on my BS. I watched Apocalypse again and BIG SURPRISE, I’m in love with Warren and Kurt all over again. Still hyperfixating on Pietro also, so…expect more fics for him as well. Anyway, I’m a ho for soulmate aus and I haven’t written one for birb boi in literal years, so here ya go.

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Warnings: swears, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.8k

Warren knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He didn’t. There was no question in his mind. Anyone who was destined to end up with his winged, alcoholic ass had been fucked over by the universe. No one deserved to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives. And yet, these thoughts didn’t seem to erase the words written on his forearm:

Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.

Professor. He scoffed. He was never going to college. If his parents had gotten their way, their son “cured” of his wings, he would have ended up at Harvard or Yale or somewhere similar. But it was far too late for that. Sitting in a cage in the back room of an illegal underground mutant fighting club in Berlin…it was far too late for that. He’d probably die before he met his soulmate anyway, rendering the prophecy on his wrist—and theirs, for that matter—useless. A waste of space.

That was all he was anyway.

He spiraled. His dependence on vodka got worse. The fights got harder. He wasn’t making it out unscathed anymore, winding up with burns and scrapes and cuts, depending on what kind of mutant he was up against. One night, one of his cuts had gotten dangerously close to the writing on his wrist. He stared at it for a long time, tears burning his eyeballs until they escaped and dripped down his cheeks, angry and hot.

He hated it, but even after everything, he still had hope. He still had hope that things would get better; that he could be better, even if it seemed impossible.

And then it got…worse.

Apocalypse had come, turned his wings to metal, tuned into his anger, his rage at the world, turned him into a monster, complete with knives for feathers and winding tattoos framing his face. He wished he could blame it on mind control or something, but Apocalypse hadn’t brainwashed him, only used his anger against him. Turned him into a weapon.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up after the battle, he was in an unfamiliar room, large and white and sterile; it smelled like hand sanitizer. He heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and when he sat up, he noticed how sore he was. His whole body hurt. His head spun. But he was alive. And when he looked down at his tattoo, the words were still there. Wherever his soulmate was, they were fine. His stupidity in joining Apocalypse hadn’t caused anything to happen to them.

For the first time in what felt like years, he breathed.

“You’re awake.” A voice said as a tall man with brown hair entered his room. “I’ll let the Professor know.”

“Where…” his deep voice rasped and the man pointed to a glass of water sitting on the table adjacent to the cot he was situated in. He picked it up and took a few long, greedy sips, not realizing just how thirsty he was until the cool drink hit his tongue. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the infirmary at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.” The man told him, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re safe here.”

Warren nodded hesitantly, but didn’t say anything else. Safe. The word was almost a myth to him at this point. But at least he felt like he could rest for a little while.

***

It had been a few weeks since Apocalypse and his horsemen had almost ended the world. Erik had decided to stick around, and two of the younger horsemen, Storm and “the Angel of Death,” respectively, had been absorbed into the school’s student body. You didn’t know the Angel’s name. No one really talked to him, not even Ororo, Storm, who had been quickly adopted by your friend group.

Supposedly, Peter had tried to talk to the Angel guy, but he didn’t say anything to him. Ororo theorized he probably felt guilty about the whole thing. She did. But you all knew she didn’t know what Apocalypse was really trying to do. He probably hadn’t either, but that didn’t seem to keep the grim expression off of his face.

It was on a nice, sunny day that Xavier called you into his office, and you went down without complaint, knocking on the door a few times before he called you inside. You sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Hi, Professor. What’s going on?” You asked.

“Ah, yes. Just the empath and healer I wanted to see.” He smiled brightly. “(Y/N), if you don’t mind it too terribly, I have a small job for you.”

“Of course! What do you need?”

“I’m sure you’ve seen our newest pupil, Warren, around.”

You thought for a moment. “The, uh, guy with the wings? The big metal ones?”

“Precisely.” He nodded. “Warren…he’s been having quite a hard time adjusting.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“He came to me yesterday discussing…well, quite simply, he was wondering if any of our mutants here would be capable of…reverting him to his previous state. His wings, before Apocalypse, were made of feathers. They’ve been serving as quite a reminder to him and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on him, both literally and emotionally.”

“Yeah, I’ve, uh, caught his vibes from across campus.” You nodded. “It’s like there’s always a rain cloud hanging over his head.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but at your nearest convenience, if you see him around, would you talk to him? Tell him I sent you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” You promised him.

As an empath and a healer, your first priority was helping others. And even if he was known to be a bit intimidating, you wanted to help him if you could.

So, you walked out of Xavier’s office, attended your final class of the day, and when it was over, you wandered out into the courtyard where, because of the nice weather, students were everywhere. And luckily for you, just as you suspected he might be, Warren was sitting under a tree, still sporting his leather jacket despite the warm weather.

You shielded your eyes from the sun and walked over towards him, your heart racing as you built up the courage to talk to him. So, you took a breath and said, “Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his green eyes wide in shock. He took a breath, blinked a few times, glanced down at his wrist, and then back up at you. You could have sworn you saw tears beginning to form along his waterline, and you didn’t realize why until he said, “You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

You froze, your knees going weak. You glanced down at your bare forearm and read over the words he’d just said, exactly the way he’d just said them.

You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.

“Why are you sorry?” You whispered, lowering yourself onto the grass beside him, not trusting your legs to support your weight for much longer. Now you were the one with tears in your eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You deserve so much more than me.” He insisted, his eyes locked on his boots, unwilling and unable to meet your gaze. “I can’t drag you into…this. Me.”

His emotions were heavy, a bleak blue and gray haze and you felt it radiate off of him in waves. His pain, his everything. And you felt it, deep within his chest. He thought you wouldn’t want him anyway.

“Warren…” You shook your head. “Why…Why would you think I don’t want you?”

He was shocked into silence for a few seconds, thinking over his words carefully, his jaw tense and hands shaking. “You’re a telepath?”

“Empath.” You corrected quietly. “And…a healer. Which is why Xavier sent me.”

“Oh. Right.” He swallowed thickly, nodding. “Did he…tell you why?”

“He did.” You smiled softly. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

Finally, his eyes met yours and he could tell that you meant more than just the healing when you said it. The weak little voice in the back of his head was screaming for him to push you away like he pushed away everyone else, but looking into your eyes, a genuine and warm smile on your face, he just…couldn’t lose you.

He couldn’t lose anyone else.

***

Today was the day. Warren was sitting on a stool in the infirmary. Hank had run his vitals and the two of them were in the room waiting for you to come down after your class was over.

“(Y/N) is the one who saved you, you know.” Hank told Warren while he jotted down some notes.

“What?” Warren asked, snapping out of whatever daydream he had been caught up in. “What do you mean?”

“(Y/N) found you in the rubble. We didn’t think you would make it, but…they healed you. They insisted we bring you back here. Give you a chance.”

Warren was quiet for a long time, thinking about what that meant. Part of him wondered if (Y/N) had known back then that he was their soulmate, but he decided that would have been impossible with just their tattoos alone. Especially without context. They hadn’t known and yet, they’d still wanted the best for him.

“Didn’t know that.” Warren said, his voice soft and deep. He stared at the words on his wrist for a little longer, a hint of warmth swirling around in his stomach. Was this happiness? Was that what happiness felt like? He barely remembered anymore. But he knew there must have been a reason that when you walked through the door, his heart started beating a little bit faster.

“Sorry I’m so late. Professor Leaf kept us a little later than she was supposed to. Are you ready?” You asked taking off your backpack and setting it against the wall. As soon as you looked up at Warren, you felt the way his heart rate was increased and you didn’t miss the warmth swirled with the anxiousness. The anxiousness, you had expected. Even you didn’t know if you could pull off what you were going to attempt to do, but the warmth…it was a pleasant surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told you, shaking his head. Was he…was he smiling? It was a small smile, sure, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile before. It looked good on him. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Alright.” You nodded, walking over towards him. Underneath where he was situated on a stool, Hank had laid out some pads from the training room, you assumed, to catch his metal feathers if they fell out rather than transforming back to his normal…feather feathers. None of you really knew how this would unfold. “Again, I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t.”

“I’m not expecting it to.” Warren assured you, but it wasn’t in a rude way. “If it does, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Cross my heart.” What he didn’t say was: You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a few steps closer until you were standing right in front of him. He looked up at you and for the first time, you didn’t feel any negative emotions from him. Only anticipation and that lingering warmth. “Here goes nothing.”

You focused on the warmth in your own chest, the tingling yellow healing power that constantly swirled around your heart, and you forced it into your palms. You reached forward for his hands and he took the hint, his larger hands wrapping around yours.

Immediately, he gasped at the sensation, warm tingles running up his arms, down his spine. It stopped in the center of his back, right where his wings intersected with his body. At first, he didn’t feel anything. And then, he felt everything. The pleasant warmth flooded his metal wings, and one by one, the knife-like feathers fell out, each one landing with a thud against the mat situated underneath him.

Hank’s pencil jotted against his notebook as he took notes. He knew you were powerful, but he’d had no idea you were capable of something like this.

Neither had you.

Once the metal wings were gone, Warren felt a new sensation: another pair of wings, this one soft and familiar, slowly emerging from him. Part of him expected the process to be painful, like the one Apocalypse had forced upon him was, but it wasn’t. Warren chuckled to himself. Of course you would never hurt him. Not even unintentionally.

After a few minutes, the feathery wings had fully emerged, stretched out to his full former wingspan and he stared up at you in awe. You stopped your flow of power to him, but he held onto your hands, squeezing them to keep them in his grasp.

He looked back at his new wings, flexed them and moved them. They felt familiar, like they had always belonged to him.

“Thank you.” He said, giving your hands another squeeze, the warmth in his chest brighter and bolder than it had been before. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” You told him, squeezing his hands right back in a way that caused his heart to lurch. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you mind if I keep some of these for research?” Hank asked.

“Keep all of them, if you want. I don’t want them.” Warren told him, standing up from his stool, his hands still in yours. “So, um…do you want to go grab dinner or something?”

“Sure.” You nodded, smiling up at him. “See you later, Hank.”

“Bye, guys, have a nice night.” Hank said as you and Warren walked out of his lab. He couldn’t help but notice the way one of your hands remained in one of his as the two of you left.

***

Later that night, after dinner and after you and Warren had split for the evening, you were walking back to your room from Jean and Jubilee’s and you found Warren, lingering in his doorway, his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he held up a finger, indicating you should wait for him, so you did while he went into his bathroom and rinsed out his mouth, returning a few moments later.

“Hey.” He said, the word casual as it fell from his pink lips.

“Hey yourself.” You chuckled, feeling ridiculously underdressed in your pajamas. But then again, he was wearing his pajamas, too, a large black Metallica shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

“How…how are you? Feeling?” He stumbled over his words, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck. You felt a wave of nervousness rush through him. “Hank said sometimes you get tired after, uh, bigger healing jobs?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded. “For whatever reason, I never get tired when I’m healing you.” You chuckled, your cheeks heating up the slightest bit. “Well…I think I know why…”

“Heh, yeah.” He nodded, mulling over his next words very carefully. “Did you, um…I don’t know how to ask this. Did you mean what you said about…trying? About us trying…this. Trying us.”

“Of course I did.” You nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “You’re my soulmate.” You reached for his hand and he gave it to you, letting you play with his fingers. You felt the way his heart fluttered when you did. “Of course I want to try.”

“I’m broken.” He told you. “I’ve never done this before. I’m…I’m a lot, and I know that.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m a healer, huh?” You tilted your head. “And if we’re being honest, I’ve never done this before either. So how about we teach each other? Learn together?”

He smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

You let go of his hand and instead took the last few steps between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his torso. He froze for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. It had been…a long time since anyone had hugged him. But after a few moments, his arms got the hint and wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. He rested his head atop yours and exhaled a long, long breath. And for the first time since you’d met him, you felt a wave of peace wash over him, encasing him entirely as his wings gently cocooned you in their warmth.

You felt his lips brush against your temple, pressing a soft kiss there. You looked up at him and his eyes met yours before fluttering shut as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

[holidaywishes]

Back to Sleep

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Can I request an imagine for Matthew Tkachuk?? Based on “back to sleep” by Chris brown 😍

  Warning: fluffy smut, the tiniest bit of fluff

  Author’s Note: I have a lot of feelings about this request lol. First, I originally thought that this was from the song prompt list but it’s not, which is totally good no sweat but I just had to double check. Second, I’ve never heard this song -- the last song I listened to from Chris Brown was Five Hours with Deorro and that was only because it came on when I was looking for hype music when I was going “clubbing;” remember those days? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, the next feeling is that when I looked up this song, I don’t know what i was expecting but I was expecting a) to find the cover as him with a baby or b) for this song to have the lyrics “fuck you back to sleep” but that’s on me lol. Because of all these feelings, I’m not sure how this imagine will turn out -- I predict it will be relatively short and maybe just completely smut? Yeah, that seems appropriate to me. It’s very, very, short. Shorter than I intended to be honest but it’s all smut so there wasn’t a lot that was going to happen anyway. Enjoy, anon! Thank you everyone for reading the junk that I put out there, it means a lot! Stay golden, loves! <3

  P.S. I think I will have this song stuck in my head for days because of how many times it played on repeat while writing this 😬😬

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Matthew’s P.O.V

  You thought you’d get back into town earlier but there was a weather warning and the plane couldn’t fly for a couple hours

  “Sorry, babe,” you texted (Y/N) when you realized how late you’d be, “I know I said that we’d hang out tonight but the plane got delayed and we won’t land in Calgary until like 2 am”

  “Maybe I can meet you at your place?” she sent back

  “That would be nice but I’m gonna be really late...”

  “Don’t worry!” you could practically hear her giggle through her screen, “I’ll take a nap now and then head over in an hour. I know where the key is”

  “Okay,” you smiled to yourself, “I’ll see you when I get home”

  “I’ll wait up for you 😉”

  “You don’t have to”

  “I know. I want to. I wanna welcome you home properly”

  “Look forward to it 😜” you put your phone away and dropped your head to the back of your seat. The longer you sat around the airport, waiting for the warning to lift, the more you got increasingly agitated. “Hey do we know anything yet?” you asked Sean and Marky

  “Nope” they both mumbled. It was another two hours before the team even boarded the plane and another 20 minutes after that until the plane actually took off. When you finally got home, it was 3 in the morning and you were hoping that (Y/N) hadn’t waited up for you; walking through the door, you smelled pizza that she must have brought over from her place and warmed up in the oven but you weren’t hungry, you just wanted to get upstairs to sleep.

xx

  You made your way to Matt’s house around midnight, carrying a frozen pizza with you so he had something to eat besides chips or pretzels when he got back. Once the pizza was done, you took a slice for yourself and flipped through Netflix for a while before settling on the Office; if for nothing more than background noise. After a handful of episodes, you looked at the clock and noticed that it was nearly 2am and Matt still wasn’t home, so you started to clean everything up, keeping the pizza out in case he wanted a bite to eat before you made your way upstairs; you couldn’t stop your heavy eyelids from closing and you eventually drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until you heard shuffling around you that you actually woke up

  “Who’s there?” you whispered, hoping that it was just your boyfriend but fearing the worst

  “Sorry baby,” Matt returned, “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep”

  “I’m awake. I was awake” you lied

  “No you weren’t” he laughed

  “I’m awake now” you giggled before getting onto your knees and making your way down to kiss his neck as he sat at the foot of the bed

  “Go back to sleep, (Y/N)” he whispered

  “No,” you smirked, kissing his ear in the process, “I wanna welcome you home. I haven’t seen you in sooo long”

  “We’ve both got early mornings tomorrow” he smiled

  “I can’t sleep now,” you whined, “you’re here and you look so handsome with your hair all tousled like that” your hands roamed around his waist to undo his belt, letting your lips glide across his skin until he turned his head around, giving you the lustful look that always started a fire in your stomach. He smirked before moving his finger underneath your chin, bringing your lips to his so he could kiss you slowly, your hands still stationed on his waist until the kiss got too intense and he turned around, pushing you back against the mattress; pulling away to grin at your neediness and trace his fingers down your body

  “I love your skin,” he whispered and you giggled, “I love your body”

  “Mmm” you hummed as he began kissing your collarbones, his hand finding its way into your panties as his fingers hesitated over your clit

  “Relax, baby” he hummed back, his free hand pinning your body down by your chest and you took a deep exhale, “let me take over”

  “Matty...” you whispered before seeing him looking up at you, smirking at you and, as if by mind control, you dropped your head back onto the mattress while his fingers quickly pumped and curled inside of you. “Oh god,” you moaned, “oh fuck, Matt, shit” his ministrations were quick and you reached your first orgasm faster than you expected. He hovered back over you, kissing your nose before you pushed off his pants with your feet, laughing when you both forgot that he hadn’t taken his shoes off

  “Oops” he chuckled, quickly sitting up and throwing off his shoes before you pulled him back to you, capturing his lips in a sloppy kiss

  “Fuck” you cried out as he thrust into you without warning, the bed beginning to squeak as his speed increased, “slow down, baby, fuck” you were already breathless when you forced him onto his back and began to ride his length, slowing down the pace enough for both of you to feel pleasure

  “Shit,” he growled, “baby you look so good riding me”

  “Mmmm, fuck Matt” you whimpered

  “Fuck”

  “Fuck” you repeated back to him, his hands gripping your hips to quicken your pace and you reached your second climax, riding him until you felt his legs shake; he rolled you onto your back and brushed your hair out of your face

  “You’re beautiful” he smiled

  “I love you” you smiled, pecking his lips before he leaned back down

  “I hate that I woke you up”

  “It’s okay, Matt” you giggled

  “Let me fuck you back to sleep, baby” he whispered in your ear, kissing your neck as his hand drifted back to your core

  “I’m already exhausted” you joked

  “Then this won’t take long” he teased, circling your clit before you brought your hand to his member, stroking it quickly until he let out a guttural moan

  “Does that feel good baby?” you moaned

  “Fuck baby” he panted before you lined him up with your entrance, letting him ram his hips into yours. It didn’t take long before he was trembling above you

  “Ready to sleep now baby?”

  “No” he said breathlessly

  “What?” you chuckled

  “I was supposed to fuck you back to sleep, this wasn’t supposed to be the other way around...”

  “You did, babe,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I’m ready to sleep, I’m ready to cuddle”

  “Okay one sec” he said quickly, jumping up to grab a damp cloth before coming back into the room. He cleaned you up and got you a spare set of PJ’s before hopping under the covers and wrapping his arms around your waist. “I love you” he whispered close to your ear

  “I love you, too” you smiled to yourself

  “Can we do this every time? I like you riding me,” he laughed, “gives me a bit of a rest”

  “How about we trade it up. Sometimes, I’m on top, other times, you’re on top. How about that?”

  “Sounds good to me.”