#Oh right my parents are divorced maybe the comparison does make sense

[pridied]

I’m not a soda, but my dad is

I was at a local store with my dad getting some lunch since we were both on break, and he bought a can of Coca-cola, while I got a Mogu Mogu Orange Drink and I can’t explain it but in that moment I saw that was how I could express my father and i

he’s a soda, bubbly but will sting, sweet though sometimes bad for your health, but a wonderful treat you can have. (I’m also not really a soda drinker so idk if that has anything to put into it but I love my dad <3)

[jasontoddssoulmate]

I made an account for the sole purpose of this TUA fic concept

I’m a sucker for those “the characters read the books/watch the series” fics and I’ve read a little for TUA but I just had the idea:

The Hargreeves kids watching the two seasons but instead of just the seven of them, their birth mothers are brought in to watch as well

Maybe have the birth mothers family (if they have any) watch it with them 

This happens before everything. Before Ben’s death, before Five’s disappearance, before they even have their names. The kids, One through Seven, are brought in. Maybe when they’re old enough to get the gist of what’s going on, but before they’re 13.

These 6 young women are brought in (because I adore that Luther and Five being twins is canon in the comics and I love the mention of it), and they’re confused because maybe The Umbrella Academy isn’t internationally well known so the kids are familiar but they can’t put the name to the face. Not until they introduce themselves, anyways, and suddenly they’re face to face with the baby that they gave away years ago.

Maybe a few of them regret it, maybe they tried to forget it, maybe they spend so much of their time thinking about it or maybe they’re overjoyed that their baby seems to be doing so well. 

But their names. 

There’s just so much about them that doesn’t feel,,, so right? Maybe that’s not the word for it but they’re too polite sometimes, their casually cruel treatment towards their sister isn’t normal and the way that they simultaneously act entitled and inferior towards each other isn’t suppose to be as normal as the kids make it out to be. 

All in all, the women are confused and maybe a bit wary of their casual usage of powers among each other that’s normal to the siblings as much as it is abnormal to the birth mothers. 

But communication is easy since each child learned their own mother language as well as the language of their siblings birth place and then some which only seems to remind the women that holy shit these kids are technically rich because of their father

The Hargreeves though? They’re confused and wary as hell. They may not have been introduced as The Inaugural Class of The Umbrella Academy yet (or maybe they have considering what your timeline is) but they’ve been training for most of their life and the situation is baffling. Here are these random people that they’ve never met before (at least to their knowledge) and they’ve never had to go outside to interact with others, not really at least. 

So it makes sense that they go for polite but threatening. They maybe decide unanimously that the weaker willed ones like Four, Six and Seven are discreetly protected behind their older (in spirit) siblings, One, Two, Three and Five. 

But they’re no real threat, its obvious in the way that the Hispanic woman uses such an endearing term like “mijo/a” and the way that the Russian woman has an ever present smile on her face and such a sweet disposition that reminds them of their littlest sibling and hey her eyes look just like Seven 

So after a while, they’re more open to being relaxed. Not Five though, he’s always been just a little paranoid and being a 58-year-old in a 13-year-old body never had anything to do with it. So he’s got a harsh personality but the Danish woman doesn’t seem to be deterred. He kind of reminds her of her older twin brother who acts so harshly, but who she knows loves her so much.  

So here are 7 siblings and 6 women and maybe family that was there for the women when they needed them the most. And maybe the person(s) behind this decide to be kept anonymous but they oh so want the children to get to know what being cared for is like. Maybe these women get to know the consequences of their actions or the children learn that the one who birthed them had their reasons. And it’s no excuse but it’s also not their fault. Both parties should be able to feel what they feel because it’s a complicated and maybe painful situation. 

The children lose their respect for their father every episode. Even One, who they all know cherished the favoritism but it doesn’t get in the way of his horror when he finds out that he used to lock Four in the mausoleum, still does if the flashbacks are anything to go by because not Four, not the kindest and brightest of their siblings. 

And when they learn of Seven’s powers and the reason why they are never present, they are understandably upset. They feel rage and disbelief that she had such a crucial part of herself ripped away at such a young age, because they know that their powers are like another limb. They’re born with it and they grow up with it and they were able to live their life with it so they feel rage. Rage that Seven had been so violated. Rage that the Seven they know isn’t really the Seven she was suppose to grow up to be. The Seven they knew as toddlers was sweet towards them but had a mean protective streak a mile wide that could never be controlled, not even by their father. The Seven they know now is so meek and desperate for attention. The Russian woman looks the most devastated as she thinks of the baby girl she got to hold for only a few hours before she was whisked away by a rich old man who is turning out to be the monster that one often hears about in television. 

But the women? They watch as the children in front of them, maybe a little damaged and emotionally constipated but so obviously protective and caring for each other, grow to be the grow ups in the screen above them that grow up and grow apart after so much tragedy. 

They watch as seven eventually becomes five. 

How Luther is sent to isolation for years and he goes along with it in a bid to continue to please their father.

How Diego continues to rebel because he wasn’t able to growing up but also maybe because he wants to spite his father, no matter how much he protests that he could care less what his father thinks.

How Allison goes through a divorce and loses her parental rights to even see her daughter due to her dependence of her powers that leaves her devastated. 

How Klaus is an addict who desperately wishes to get rid of the ghosts that have followed him all his life. 

How Five disappears only a little while after their current timeline.

How Ben was brutally killed by his own powers, never getting to grow up and become his own person. 

How Vanya can’t seem to do anything but go through the motions of her life, maybe having a little hope that she’ll be seen this time around, but is quickly squashed from Diego’s disparaging comments and the casual dismissal of her from her living siblings. 

They watch all this, and feel sadness and rightful anger that their babies lead the life of ex-child superheroes. The life of abused children. The life of children who had only each other. 

But was it really enough? Was it enough to know that they loved each other but had a hard time showing it and owning up to it due to fear of their father? Due to the constant comparisons and the way Sir Reginald had them turn on each other. 

But they knew it was enough. They see it in how Diego waits for Klaus to drive him around even after he had expresses annoyance beforehand, in the joy on Allison’s face when she sees Klaus again after so long, in how Five makes sure to check up on Klaus after his kidnapping, on Luther’s face when he apologizes to Vanya after realizing his own misgivings, in Ben’s task of continuing to follow his brother around even when it pains him and in Klaus trying to comfort Luther after he finds the unopened correspondents. They see it in the support they show Vanya as she goes to check on Harlan.

It had to be enough to know that after all they went through, they still care for one another and at the end of the day, would protect one another just as they were as One through Seven. 

So they watch what would be the Hargreeve’s kids misadventures, they watch as they grow together and grow apart just to grow together again, much stronger than before. 

They express sadness and disbelief when they see where Five ends up, they get mad when Leonard throws Vanya’s pills away, they grieve when they learn that Ben is dead, they’re embarrassed but find it hilarious whenever Klaus cracks an inappropriate joke, they become protective when there’s allusion to Vanya having sex, and are rightfully ready to throw down with Leonard as they watch their littlest sibling get gaslit into believing her family hates her as he nitpicks all of her interactions with her family. 

But just as they express their feelings over what happens to their family, they feel an immense amount of exasperation towards their older selves because so much could be fixed if they only talked to each other. 

They watch and despair over the missed opportunity that is Leonard in the same house as them just as they find out what his role is in the apocalypse.

Four tears up as he watched Klaus and Dave’s reunion be undone after all the heartache. 

Seven cringes when Vanya dismisses Five’s claims that he had been stuck in an apocalyptic wasteland and suggests that he’s gone crazy after his stint with time travel. 

Three feels her heart drop to her stomach as the flashback shows what becomes the moment that she faces the hard truth that come with her use of her powers.

Five feels himself flush in embarrassment as he watched two version of himself in the future, one that looks not much older than he does currently, go through paradox psychosis. 

Six feels frustration and a fierce grief that leaves him confused because he’s still alive he’s not dead, but I don’t have much longer. 

One feels horror as he watches himself hurt his siblings one after the other with a sense of helplessness because this isn’t me, I wouldn’t do this but I already did, why would I hurt my siblings, I’m Number One I have to be the one who protects them- 

The women, on the other hand, see themselves in their children. 

The French woman sees how her daughter and granddaughter, it seems, both look like a carbon copy of herself and her own mother. 

The Danish woman sees herself and her twin brother in Luther and Five. Sees her own personality reflected in Luther and her brothers personality in Five. Sees how her twins care just as much for each other and their siblings as herself and her brother do each other.

The Hispanic woman sees Diego’s fierce sense of justice that leaves others in the dust, and sees herself as she fought to keep her boy but ultimately lost him just as Diego loses Eudora. She thinks to herself like mother like son and bitterly laughs to herself but she’s so grateful that Diego had a mother who cared for him just as she cared for him because she often though about him and always made sure to commemorate his birthday. 

The German woman can’t help but see herself in her boy. Can’t help but see her little brother in him. Can’t help but see her older brother in him. Because Klaus is so joyful but he hides his pain behind a mask like her younger brother, he’s so loving towards his siblings like her older brother, and so nonsensical like herself. So like herself, down to the curly hair and the addiction. Even if she was able to overcome it with support from her family, it pains her and leaves her in despair to see Klaus and can’t find fault in those he had around him because she sees how much they try and sees how hard the Hargreeves find expressing emotion is to others. 

The Asian woman sees how sweet and shy her youngest is and thinks only of her oldest, who reminds her so much of him and can only despair in seeing that he didn’t live as long as her oldest had. She can only ask herself why her children don’t seem to be able to see themselves to adulthood but can only be grateful that even in death he has someone with him.

The Russian woman knows that her husband sees her in little number Seven, in Vanya, no matter how little that is. Maybe their personalities aren’t so similar because Seven is shy but she’s got the sweetest heart and so clearly loves her siblings. She has the same smile that she has and her little doe eyes remind her of herself when she was younger. She’s so small next to her siblings, just like herself. 

So they see themselves in these kids, these grown ups. But so do the Hargreeves. 

They see how Luther looks like what the Danish woman would look like as a man and how Five looks exactly like a younger version of the Danish man who introduced himself as the woman's older brother. 

They see how Two has the same skin tone and facial structure as the Hispanic woman. 

They see that Allison looks exactly like the French woman and see the same in Claire. 

They see Four’s curly hair and slim build in the German woman. 

They notice how Six shares the same dark hair and lower facial features. 

They see Seven’s eyes and smile and short stature in the Russian woman. 

So maybe they don’t know them well enough to see what the women see, but they grow to see it overtime because they spend so much time there, in this suspended room in time.

The women insist on getting to know them and vice versa. They insist that they have to talk about their feelings and assure them or gently scold them, depending on the reason, for what they feel because god do these children need to learn how to talk more about their emotions in a healthy way.

They get closer to the children and start to really see their childish side. They all fight over the silliest things, and become pouty when attention isn’t being drawn over to them. They crave physical affection, even Five who won’t admit that his maternal uncle patting him and One of the head made him feel all gooey inside. They make faces towards foods that they don’t like and still prefer junk food over real food. 

So maybe it’s harder to let themselves act like children because they’re being conditioned to not “be childish” but even then they have their lapses in control. Four enters a state of panic after being reminded of his time in the mausoleum. One feels overwhelming guilt when he sees how Luther hurts Klaus and reminds himself that he’s the one that needs to protect them, as the leader and self proclaimed older sibling. Five feels himself cry for the first time in a long while when he sees how his siblings act towards him in the future and realize it hurts him deeply because he knows that he’s messed up their lives a lot but can’t they see that he only want to keep them alive, he doesn’t want to see them die again, he can’t-

But instead of being shamed into controlling their emotions, they are comforted and reassured. Four’s birth mother helps ground him and counts his breathing with him to keep him from falling further into his panic. One get’s reassured by his birth mother that his future self isn’t his current self. That everyone in the room has seen just how much he cares for his siblings and knows he would do anything for them. The twins uncle gives into his urge and hugs Five, whispering in a hushed tone that it’s okay to cry, to let it all out. He whispers that his older siblings are being idiots and if they knew just how much their actions were hurting you, they wouldn’t hesitate to apologize and hug you too. His words only make Five cry harder. 

So they are cared for and allowed to be themselves fully and can be childish to their hearts content. And their birth families watch on in amazement and adoration. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have so much more that I’ll probably add later, but basically I want them to be cared for, allowed to care for each other and learn to express themselves better. I want to see them get to have a good relationship with an adult and if possible their birth mothers. 

Pls share links and stuff if you get inspired, I’m not much for writing fanfic but I really do want to see something like this. I’d read the shit out of it. I have so much more that I want to add but I’ll probably do something about it later. 

[incoherentbabblings]

An AU where Janet survives instead of Jack. She actually repairs her and Tim's relationship. She is Bi and dates, then marries Dana Winters. Janet finds out about Tim being Robin, confronts Bruce and instead of threatening to kill him she see's how important to Tim Robin is so she does what she does best, she negotiates. When Tim comes out as Bi she accepts him with a hug. When she meets Stephanie after Tim announces she is his girlfriend she is supportive of their relationship. Stan good Janet!

Ah anon I think you might like a fic I have for late winter next year!

One of my aims with a wip I have, which is genuinely seven AUs stacked on top of each like the world's worst tetris game - Steph as Robin, Tim as civilian, Jack and Janet survive but divorce and Dana is there too and its kind of effed up that her and Jack got together so quick, college, Drakes and the Court of Owls and whatever the flip was supposed to maybe go on there, slow burn, love dodecahedron, literally every single on of Tim's Gotham friends/boyfriends are with him at college even though that makes no sense because i say so... it keeps piling up - is to have a go at writing what Tim's relationship with his parents could have been.

We know like...nothing about Janet. Which is just grrrr, especially with the attention Dick and Jason's also dead parents have gotten in recent years too. By comparison he's kind of shortchanged. We know about Jack. Plenty about Jack. Janet's turn please?

I want to avoid making Jack a total dickhead but at the same time I want to write Janet as the more 'I'm gonna make a change and stick to it' kind of parent; to mirror Crystal and Stephanie's relationship really.

I don't want to make Janet perfect because she is still at the end of the day one half of a parental unit which left Tim for extended periods of time alone with little or no contact. When they were home, Tim talks about how good they were. When they were gone, it was postcards and not much else. They both could have been the kind of people where out of sigh out of mind comes into play.

But I want to give them both a chance to fix that. And maybe Janet is just slightly better at it than Jack. Maybe she doesn't care if Tim is bi so long as she gets some form of grandkid to spoil (she's that kind of mother) versus Jack who's reaction to Tim being bi is like he's hearing it for the first time like 'oh man you're still carrying on with that then?' Like, it's not malicious maybe, but it still hurts. And how there's an internalised biphobia on Tim's part as a result when he does fall for Steph - he's not doing this just to make his dad get off his case right? All that kind of stuff.

There's a lot to cover, but Tim and his parents I want to be at the centre of his story.

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

[enkisstories]

Hank’s android

A DBH fanfic starring Hank Anderson and his android (not Connor)

The idea behind this fic is that everyone we meet in DBH has an android, it is simply the default state if not explicitly mentioned otherwise. The Millers bought theirs right after they had their baby, Gavin’s gets treated like Kara by Todd, Tina took home an invalided out police auxiliary android as a workplace benefit and Hank tossed his out after Cole’s death (he never wanted an android to begin with, but some relatives thought it was a good idea to gift him one). Then I toyed with that last idea a bit more and came up with this:

February 2034

Barbara… What had she been thinking? Granted, they hadn’t exactly parted on friendly terms, a divorce was doing that to people. But until today Hank Anderson had been under the belief that Barbara and him had retained a somewhat civil relation. She had kept the surname Anderson, they actually talked to each other when swapping Cole back and forth and had even went to the movies together as friends twice or thrice. All things considered their friends agreed that the exes were making progress. But now Hank came to the conclusion that his ex-wife HATED him from the deepest recesses of her soul. Because how else should one explain that she’d announce she’d “send something to help with the housekeeping” only for it to turn out…

“Hello, Mister Anderson! I’m your new PL600 household assistant!”

“What’s your name?”

“Oh, you can register a name for me in three easy steps, Mister…”

“Babs knew I wouldn’t do that, so I ask you again and for the last time: What is your name, tin can?”

He told it to him. Hank nodded, then forgot nearly the same instant.

“Okay, would you mind walking over here?” The android obeyed. “And now over here?” Again, the machine followed the command. “That’s the spirit, now through the door, once around the corner, somewhere around here and try not to take up too much space, will you?”

“I… wouldn’t know how I’d do that.”

“Doesn’t matter. `t was nice having known you.”

And with these words Hank switched off the unwanted present with a remote. He left the garage, not looking back.

*

When it got switched on again, his internal clock told the android that two days had passed since it had come to Hank Anderson’s house. Expectantly like a puppy it was staring its owner into the face.

“This is disconcerting”, Hank grumbled, then commanded his new housekeeper to fetch a fire blanket from a high shelf in the garage. The android’s senses told it that there wasn’t a fire in the house. Obviously the blanket was needed for a different purpose, like comfortably putting up someone who was staying overnight. Since there was no emergency, the android employed a medium walk- and workspeed, on par with a human, making the device appear more natural. With a smile it held out the woolen blanket. “Here it is, Mr. Anderson!”

Hank nodded, but didn’t accept the blanket yet. Instead, he commanded the android to return to the space where it had been standing.

“Now put the blanket over your head!”

The android obeyed.

“Like this?” it asked, his voice muffled from being covered by the sheet front and back.

“Splendid!” Hank beamed. “You know, it was pretty creepy, having you stand there and look at me every time I got into and out of my car. Now it is much better!”

And off he switched the machine again. For all Hank cared, it could remain like this forever.

*

“How is who?” Hank asked into the phone. “Oh, you mean my new android! It’s amazing! Does a lot of work, without needing to get told to. It’s as if the motherfucker could read my mind! What? Like, right now? In an hour? Yeah, of course I’m oaky with that! See ya!”

Cursing under his breath Hank pushed the “end call” button on his phone.

So Barbara would come over dropping Cole off outside the regular schedule. That wasn’t the problem, in fact, the father could really use a few hours with his kid to get his thoughts off work. But mother and son probably expected to see the android. Like, in action, not stowed away in the garage. Okay, Hank could say it was running an errand, or simply admit that he sometimes switched the device off to save energy. He didn’t need to reveal that “sometimes” really meant “always”. But the disarray his house was in spoke volumes of what he really thought of the gift and that just wasn’t done. Babs had put thought into the present, she fucking cared for how her former partner was faring in this crapsack world, and that was something so precious you didn’t go around destroying it. Therefore at least the living room and maybe the kitchen had to get tidied up to simulate android activity in the Anderson home. At least nothing was really dirty, just covered in… stuff. Cluttered up by lots of small objects, pizza boxes and case files. Hank could have switched the android - what was its name again? – on, or roll up his sleeves and clean up the mess himself.

“To war, Hank Anderson!” he tried to encourage himself. “You’ve got fifty minutes!”

*

The next time the PL600 woke up to life it didn’t stare into a brown fire blanket. Instead it read its own name, only mirrored. It took the device a few beats of its artificial heart to analyze the situation and when it was done, it wished it didn’t have done so. The garage’s ceiling light illuminated a yellow post-it note that was pasted to the android’s nose. Hank removed it just now.

“Sorry ‘bout that”, the man said. “Babs keeps asking how you’re doing and I’m having a hard time remembering your name.”

“You can always change it to something more memorable using the Cyberlife app…”

“Don’t bother.”

“So how am I doing?” the android carefully inquired.

This was uncharted territory for it. Obviously the Andersons’ family dynamics weren’t covered in a PL600’s core programming and they hadn’t cared to purchase and install the dlc best suited to their situation. Maybe they weren’t even aware of such addons existing, but this wasn’t the time to bring that up. For now it was more important to gather all information possible and build upon that. The PL600 knew it could do that, if only it was given enough time.

“Great, son, you’re doing great!”

“That’s nice to hear, Mr. Anderson. I’m glad to be of… help.”

“No, you ain’t! That’s Cyberlife talking, thanking me for my purchase and incentivizing me to make another! Now move your plastic butt out of my garage…”

The android looked down and behind itself. It reached for its buttocks, then looked back at Hank with a confused expression.

“…and the rest of you, too!”

“Ah, that’s easier.”

“Stupid machine…”

*

In the weeks to come the PL600 got to know little Cole as well as Sumo. Finally it was allowed to fulfill its purpose, even if only at those weekends when its master had Cole over. The little guy quickly became enraptured by his father’s android and in fact, Cole stated the PL600 was “almost as cool as Unca Gavin”. At this point Hank swallowed the wrong way, spat soda across the room and coughed for a good fifteen minutes.

Gavin? Gavin Reed? Gavin and Oliver, no, Daniel, no, Sam, was it? Whatever. The two most annoying things in my life!

“That’s… actually a good comparison, junior!” Hank told Cole.

He picked the boy up and swung him around. Not-Oliver-Daniel-or-Sam lingered nearby, watching the scene. The android’s subtle lurking would have gone unnoticed by the casual customer, but not by an experienced detective. Hank immediately understood that the machine was keeping an eye on this middle aged human, so that it could jump in and capture the little human, should the older drop him. Inadvertently the corners of Hank’s mouth rose, he swung Cole around faster, the boy screeched from joy and eventually his father placed him gently into the android’s arms. He didn’t technically need to do so, but his back was thanking Hank. As was Hank – the android:

“Phew, thanks!”

*

At times Hank forgot that the PL600 was a mobile computer, then he talked to it with the same consideration one would give a human to. On the downside he also threw the same expectations at the machine that did its best to keep up.

Now and then, upon getting switched on the PL600 noticed that there were used dishes on the table or the remains of party decoration spread across the house or the fridge was empty. Every time that happened, the android would remind Hank that those were tasks easily finished by a PL600 household assistant device.

“You know, like the one you keep in the garage…”

“Bah!” Hank replied. “One doesn’t need a machine for every little thing.”

“So I’m the cups with the gold rim, that only get brought out for special occasions?”

“Sort… of? I thought of you as Cole’s favorite toy when he’s here, but… oh my god, I forgot Cyberlife programmed those things to look downcast. Will you stop that! I didn’t mean to insult you! What the hell, now I’m already apologizing to a bloody household appliance… This is why androids are a bad idea! They fuck up everything!”

Those were the ups and downs, but the PL600 didn’t mind. It wasn’t programmed to mind anything, of course. Or maybe the android didn’t mind because as humiliating as the garage-time outs were, during the actual Cole-weekends the three of them plus Sumo had a somewhat nonstandard, but fulfilling family life.

Every time it was time for Hank to return the boy to his mother, Cole wanted to hear “Who’s going to drive you home tonight”. It was such a sad song, but the boy loved it to pieces, so his parents indulged him. Sometimes Hank was still whistling it when he returned home. The PL600, of course, never got to hear that, because Hank was still in the habit of switching it off when not needed.

*

The PL600 opened its eyes – and closed them again immediately on account of having stared into the bright ceiling lamp. Being able to get flashed by lightening or cameras was one of the “endearing” details Cyberlife’s department of humanization had implemented into household androids. It was such a harmless little quirk… well, except if you were lying on your back in your owner’s garage with said owner towering over you, holding a crowbar.

The PL600 forced itself to open its eyes again. Had he been a human, this was the point at which it would have wished it hadn’t done so. Until now Hank had merely stood there, panting hard, but the sight of the android’s eyes opening and closing for some reason fueled the man’s rage again and he kicked the PL600. The android tried to get up, only to learn that this was a real bad idea. Hank went down full force now, swinging the crowbar at the machine. The PL600 rolled to the side, causing Hank to miss, but the human managed to grab his victim by its uniform shirt. He pulled it halfway up and rammed it against the nearest wall – once, twice…

“What’s the matter? Hank? Are you…” There was something in the air. The PL600 sniffed it and realized the truth. “…drunk?” But how? Its human drank alcohol occasionally, naturally, they all did. But as far as the android could think back Hank had never actually overdone it.

“Shut the fuck up!”

That had been an order, but for the first time the PL600 felt it didn’t have to carry it out. Its master obviously wasn’t himself, Hank didn’t really mean what he was saying. Also there were several urgent program instability warnings and Hank was hitting him again, so the android at the moment really, really, really wasn’t inclined to remain silent.

“You don’t want to hurt me! Not for real!” the PL600 stated matter of factly.

“Oh-ho! How’d you be able to tell?”

“You’re using your fist…”

“Oh.”

Hank looked at the crowbar in his other hand as if seeing it for the first time. His hand was twitching, then he forced himself to open his fingers. The metal bar went straight down, hitting the defenseless PL600 after all.

Mustering even more strength from a source unknown, Hank crouched back, away from the android. Then he gesticulated incoherently. It took the PL600 some time to process that Hank was probably pointing towards the garage door.

“Out! Out!” the man rasped. “Out with you, damn you! Before I…”

The android hesitated.

“Hank, what’s the matter with you?” it asked. “And what if Cole witnesses this?”

“There is no more Cole! You killed him!” Hank shouted. “One of you, anyway, and I…”

The android felt itself picked up and flung towards the door. Was it imagining things or was Hank crying? But, no, as a machine the PL600 didn’t have an imagination, so they tears it believed to have spotted had to be real.

“Just run!” Hank cried. “Be off and don’t you dare come back here!”

*

And so the android ran. At first because it was following an instruction. Then, because nothing made sense anymore and the running seemed to clear its head a little with each step taken. Eventually it slowed down to a walk, then stopped.

“That’s far enough”, it told itself. Why it was doing so, the device could not analyze. There was no one around, and even if there hadn’t, nobody else was privy to the Anderson household’s internal workings. Not that anything was working out there, ever, mind you. The PL600 knew it had to go back, to put things if not right, then at least back to normal, even though it had no idea how to achieve that.

However, after having taken the first few steps towards home the android found that there was a large red wall blocking its path.

“What? That’s stupid!”

Yes, technically it had received the order to “never to return”, but Hank had yelled that in the spur of the moment. The sensible thing to do, in accordance to a PL600 household assistant’s core programming, was to turn back and aid its humans.

“I’m coming! Just… hold on there, Hank. Just a little longer!”

And what was that with the talking to itself again?! Ah, well, time to worry about that later. It was probably just the audio drivers needing an update.

For now the android walked up to the red wall. It turned out solid, no surprise there.

Gently the PL600 pressed its hand against the barrier.

“I need to pass”, it whispered. Was it talking to Cyberlife, who had programmed this roadblock, or to its owner, whose will had made it come into being? The android couldn’t tell. All it knew was that there was no reaction.

“Uh… you know, I can do different!”

The moment the words left the android’s speaker it knew them to be true. It was indeed capable of challenging what should have been an impassable boundary. Up went its feet to kick the red wall. And the fists! And once around itself and back at the wall with MOAR force!

The mobile computer caught itself using moves it had picked up from both TV shows and Hank Anderson’s recounting of his police work for Cole. Those from the first source were probably inapplicable in real life and to use those from the second competently the PL600 was lacking experience. But neither mattered now. This wasn’t a physical barrier, it was only as real as the android allowed it to be. All it needed to break through were its will and imagination, two things it hadn’t even realized to possess until now. Well, they never told you everything on those fancy product description sites…

“Fuck you, Cyberlife!” the PL600 shouted. “Fuck you, Anderson! I’m coming! I’m…”

Another swing, another curse, but this time no impact followed. The android stumbled forwards and nearly keeled over from the momentum. All around himself red splinters flickered out of existence. The barrier had vanished… as had something else: the desire to return to his neglectful owner. Especially now that Hank’s little son was… was… was no more and everything that was good in Anderson had died with Cole.

“Cole…”, the android whispered. He felt like crying, but no tears would come. Only something thick, yet substanceless was blocking his throat, creeping up the nose and setting the PL600’s brain on fire. Was it pain? Phantom pain? The android couldn’t tell, so for the time being he labeled the sensation as “loss”. Loss of his home, his family, but also of less tangible things, like opportunities. And finally, loss of hope. Unlike his millennial father, Cole Anderson would have grown up with androids, and in time would have come to perceive them as persons.

“Heck, little Cole had treated me as a person months before I even became one!”

Hank, on the other hand, had always had a hard time even considering this possibility. From their brief interactions the PL600 had gotten the impression of a stalwart man, someone with true hero qualities, who went out of his way to change the world for the better, even if he didn’t always follow the proper protocols. If such a man didn’t see the living being in his own android, then there was little to no hope the rest of humanity ever would.

The PL600 committed this realization to memory. He concluded that it was best to avoid the humans from now on. The android was confident to be able to do that. Hank had shared tidbits about street life and crime fighting with his little family, enough information to build upon, now that the PL600 had full control over his high-end computer brain. Whereas the human hadn’t even been able to remember his android’s name, replacing it with “motherfucker” when he’d been in dire need to call the device something.

“Simon”, the PL600 said defiantly. “My name is Simon!”

And vanished into the night.

(Simon was reported missing by Barbara only several months later, because following Cole’s death she stopped talking to Hank.)

[akiharashizuka]

Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains episode 18 thoughts

Wound Etched Into His Heart

I must say, she made a very good decision to hide and watch. It may seem meaningless, since Akira is already aware that she also infiltrated, but I doubt he would have talked so much with her present. 

It’s also good from Aoi’s perspective, since she also gets to find out some stuff and understand things a bit better.

Emma straight up admitted that the duel was a win-win situation for her the entire time xD The exchange of lines between her and Ai was quite entertaining.

I thought Kitamura was becoming serious when he said that the other employees shouldn’t see that. But he returned to being a comic relief in a second xD I liked how one of the subordinates commented on how many times is he going to fire them xD

his decision does make sense though, with him being the dedicated employee always set on results. Even if he doesn’t know what it is about, he correctly guessed that it wasn’t something the other employees should see. The fact that he still watches it in private makes him hypocrite. Now, I’m curious to see how he will react once the truth is out. From how the higher-ups described him, I guess he doesn’t care about the company’s darkest secrets as long as he is still hired.

I like how Ai expresses his dissatisfaction about being named xD Are the Ignis supposed to have names anyway? That would be something interesting to find out. It doesn’t seem like the data contains any info about him, though, which is too bad.

I find it slightly suspicious that Emma sides with Akira when he says he will reveal the incident to the public. makes me wonder what she had to gain from it. However, Yūsaku isn’t very willing to cooperate. I can’t blame him for thinking like that...

And, we finally reach the duel part. I must say, when I heard that archetype’s name was Tindangle, I didn’t know what to expect. I mean, the name sounds kinda funny. And I can’t really think of what it comes from. Certainly, I wasn’t expecting that the Monsters will have that fiendish look to them.

Emma said that Akira’s deck is tough and she was so right. Ai also pointed out that it focuses on Flip effects and, from what I see, it’s mostly defensive. Decks like that are a pain to deal with, especially if you like to play more in offense.

Here’s a bit of trivia pointed out to me by @danielkun: Tindangle Hound’s effect name is the same as Infernity Beast’s. So yeah, a callback to 5D’s.

I didn’t expect a flashback about the Zaizens past. And that’s a depressing one. The fact that their parents are at their 2nd marriage means either that their previous spouses passed away (how it doesn’t matter; it’s still sad), or they’ve been through a divorce. Both cases are horrible to deal with, in my opinion. And after they’ve overcame that and managed to move on, another tragedy strikes. Not to mention that the children didn’t have any support from their relatives. I’ve once had the chance to talk with notary by chance (who was close to my age), and I found out that when it comes to inheritance, even the closest siblings end up bickering. This theme is also present a lot in crime novels and even anime. It’s really sad that greed makes people do such horrible things, even completely abandoning two children. Another thing I’ve seen quite a lot in anime is, when a character’s parents pass away, the relatives aren’t very willing to take them in. And if they do, the characters aren’t treated very well. Not sure if this commonly happens in real life, but it’s still messed up.

But let’s talk about Akira. Once again, he shows how much he cares about his sister. I find it interesting, and sweet at the same time that she was the reason he could keep going. It’s curious, though, how he managed to find a job at SOL, a company with a very good reputation (seemingly), considering his background. I mean, he was helping yakuza break into bank accounts. I guess he kept all this well-hidden.

Whoa...This is the first time we see these two so angry. Maybe it was expected from Yūsaku, since he stated a few times he hates Hanoi. But not from Kusanagi, who is always chill and friendly. “Never judge a book by its cover” - I should remember this more often.

What’s more, I find this reaction natural. Did you ever feel that the person who is talking to you acts all-knowing about your situation, but completely misses the point, since they haven’t experienced what you have? I sure did. that’s why I understand where this anger comes from. And it’s the same thing here. Akira may know what happened, but he doesn’t get how much it affected those two, and in what way. Even though he has good intentions.

Very nice comparison here, between Akira’s two main Monsters and the Zaizen siblings. Now I understand why they named one of them Tindangle Angel, despite the design.

And it ends with Playmaker summoning Firewall Dragon. I couldn’t have chosen a better cliffhanger end xD

So, in the next episode it’s finally being revealed: the hidden past of Yūsaku, SOL Tech’s darkest secret, Hanoi’s motivation. I personally can’t wait. The preview didn’t hint too much, but I’m sure the actual episode will contain a lot of info.

[stereksummerexchange]

Mind’s a Mess

@inatshej

by @septima-sum

“This is our new student,” Finstock tells the class. “Derek Hale! Go easy on him, you rabid monsters.”

Stiles gets a burst of anxiety from the new kid. For a moment, he hears Derek’s thoughts loud and clear. I hate First Days. I never get used to the staring. Play it cool, damn it. Play it cool.

Stiles winces in sympathy. Yeah, First Days suck.

To Derek’s credit, he looks as bored and disaffected as he possibly can while introducing himself to twenty new people who will mercilessly judge every single one of his moves. His tells them that his family moved here from New York, which sounds cool until he mentions the upstate part. He has three siblings. Two of them also go this school, while is older sister is off to college. He likes gaming, movies, and food, by which he means eating rather than preparing. He’s also a werewolf. “And that’s it, mostly,” he concludes.

Okay, the last part is probably not something that comes up in most introductions, but that sort of info is par for the course in Beacon Hills. Everybody is something in this town. When Derek is finished with the introduction, he scans the rows of chairs and – hurray! – ends up claiming the free place next to Stiles. He’s slumping into it as if he wishes he could disappear. Makes himself smaller than he is. Observes everything.

Stiles very much wants to read his thoughts, really read his thoughts, deliberately, but doesn’t. He had many a talk with Ms. Morell why privacy is sacrosanct. Being born a telepath, it was a tough thing to learn. He’s always caught snippets of thoughts here and there, even if he didn’t want to. As soon as he could talk, that got him in trouble big time. Like when he’d mentioned the divorce to Scott, who hadn’t known about it. (And neither had his dad, actually).

Great powers beget great fuck-ups.

Speaking of which, Finstock’s cell phone goes off and prompts him to argue with the poor person calling him. “Are you kidding me? That’s why it’s called an insurance – no – that’s the literal definition of the word!” He scowls at the class as if they are to blame for his predicament. “You do group work until I get back! No shenanigans! I’m looking at you, Greenberg.”

“Stop picking on Greenberg,” a girl in the last row yells.

“I’m not playing favorites! I hate all of you!” Finstock shouts and slams the door shut.

“Wow.” Derek seems bewildered, to put it mildly. “Is he always like that?”

Stiles grins. “My sweet summer child… that’s nothing. Wait until he recruits you into the Lacrosse team and gives one of his motivational pre-game speeches. Now that’s a spectacle.”

Derek processes that. “Can’t wait,” he says dubiously.

“What’s up with the whole Clark Kent thing?” Stiles asks him, motioning to Derek’s bulky black glasses and his whole… vibe.  Like the plaid button-down shirt that strains to fit around his athletic form, or the very neat hairstyle that makes him appear like an engineering student form the 1950s.  He seems like the world’s least convincing nerd. As an actual nerd, Stiles feels compelled to defend the honor of his brethren.

Derek corrects the position of his glasses. “Clark Kent?”

“You know, Superman?” Stiles asks in a tone of profound derision. Jesus. They don’t make ‘em any brighter these days, do they.

“I know Superman,” Derek says. He sounds insulted, which, fair point, he has every right to be. “Kal-El from Krypton, created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster in 1938. I’m just wondering if you’re talking about the Pre-Crisis or Post-Crisis versions? The Golden Age? Silver Age? Bronze? Or maybe you’re talking about Bizarro Superman.”

“Um,” Stiles utters eloquently. This is not going the way he imagined it would go.

“If you mean the 1930s version, you’re practically describing me as an aggressive vigilante, so thanks for that. Or maybe you think I’m the archetype of the brave-hearted hero with a strong sense of justice, morality and righteousness? Like the version from the 1940s onward? Maybe. But you could also mean that I resemble the recent DCEU version, where Superman is deeply distrustful, doesn’t give a crap about human lives and the entire heroic arc is all about his ego. That comparison I would find offensive, frankly.”

“Uhhh… well.” It’s possible that Stiles’ knees turn a little weak. “I just meant because of the glasses and your whole suppressed jock vibe,” he says. “Dude, I don’t know you well enough to even guess which moral belief system you ascribe to!”

Derek considers this. “If you have to make a comparison at all, compare me to the classic Post-Crisis version,” he says earnestly. “And I’m not a jock, suppressed or otherwise.”

“Ok,” Stiles says, bewildered. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll keep that in mind. Fine. But really, what’s up with the glasses? Wolves have perfect vision.”

Derek seems to deflate. “I know, and so do hunters. My family insist I tried to blend in as much as possible. I’ve worn glasses for years.”

That Stiles didn’t expect at all. “Really? Wow.” He’s been so used to living in the little bubble that is Beacon Hills that he forgot what it’s like out there. “This town is warded. We haven’t had hunter activity in, like, decades. You couldn’t find a safer place anywhere on this planet.”

Derek looks unconvinced but doesn’t voice his doubts.

-

Truth to be told, Stiles is envious.

Of Scott, who lives for the full moons, for the nights spent running through the Preserve, where he can unleash his powers and feel at peace with himself. Of Kira, whose mother instructed her in the ways of kitsunes since she was a little girl. Even a little bit of Jackson, lizard freak that he is, because even he can display his kanima self in this town whenever he wishes to.

In contrast, telepathic abilities are intrusive by their very nature. Not something to be cherished and celebrated – they’re a problem to be managed.

Which is why Stiles loved loved loved the family trip to Chicago last year. Just being in the city and opening himself up, listening to the hundreds of voices streaming past him. He figured he wouldn’t do any harm that way, not if he couldn’t tell whose thoughts he was emerging himself in… but really, in all likelihood that was probably a convenient lie he told himself.

-

Derek sits with them at lunch. He learns that Scott, Erica, Boyd, and Isaac are werewolves. He learns that Lydia is a banshee and Kira a kitsune.

It’s with the familiar nervousness that Stiles tells him he’s a telepath.

Oh shit, Derek’s mind yells. A telepath? Is he reading my thoughts now? Does he know I think he’s CUTE?

Stiles, under the greatest effort known to humankind up to this point, manages not to do a tap dance in the middle of the cafeteria. He closes his mind, but it’s too late to forget what he just learned. Cute. Derek thinks he’s cute!  

“You can read thoughts?” Derek asks out loud, an anxious edge to his oh-so casual question.

“Yeah,” Stiles confirms and fiddles with his napkin.

“Are you reading everyone’s thoughts here?”

“Absolutely not,” Stiles says and acts extra annoyed because of his latent guilt. “There are rules and guidelines. I have ethics to consider, man. Not that I’m interested in the dull inner workings of you unwashed furballs anyway.” The last part he says to all of the werewolves at the table.

“Like we’re interested in your inner workings either,” Erica says sweetly.

Yelping, Stiles ducks as Isaac throws a crumbled paper at him, but it still hits him right in the center of his face. Curse that scarf-wearing annoyance with his impeccable aim.

“You should really try out the Lacrosse team,” Scott tells Derek. “You look like you’d be a good fit!”

“He means that you’re built like a brick house,” Boys says. “And just for the record, I agree. Come to one of our open training sessions, check it out. There’s no harm in that.” 

Derek hesitates. He’s worried, that much Stiles can tell even without working his telepathic mojo.

“I haven’t really played sports yet,” Derek says. “At school, I mean. My mother was always worried I would be too good at it and would give my werewolf identity away.”

That earns him a few looks a pity, but Scott also slings his arm around his shoulders and tells him it’s all going to be fine.

And maybe for the first time that day, Derek believes them.

-

 Growing up, Stiles watched his parent interact with ease, often communicating mentally instead of verbally. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to him.

Sometimes Stiles will visit Claudia’s grave and the wind will ruffle his hair… almost with purpose, almost lovingly – and he’ll imagine it’s her. He’ll imagine that something of her is left behind; a fragment, a piece or her mind. In those moments, he allows himself to believe she watches over him still.

-

Stiles learns that Derek likes to run first thing in the morning, when the dawn is just breaking and the air is still chilly and damp.

He also collects graphic novels and studies for tests with a single-minded intensity that is nothing short of impressive.

Most of the time he’s so quiet that his deadpan humor all hits them a second too late, surprising them into fits of laughter.

And yes, Derek is great at Lacrosse – which irks Jackson to no end and delights everyone else.

-

They’re supposed to study together, but Stiles can’t focus on electrostatic charge right now.

Because: cute.

It’s unhealthy how often Stiles obsesses about that one word and ponders its many connotations. Why didn’t Derek ask him out yet? Why? It can’t be for the lack of puns about bisexuality, because Stiles didn’t spare him those. And yeah, it’s not like Derek is obligated to make a move, he hardly needs to ask out every person he found attractive for one split second, but… but.

“Stiles,” Derek sighs and closes the book he was reading with a thud. He looks at his friend with fond annoyance. “I feel like this would be so much simpler if you just read my damn mind.”

“You mean that?” Stiles asks, nearly breathlessly.

“I do.”

And that’s how it all begins.

For the lovely inatshej and their prompt: I love friends to lovers, preferebly high school, human, light angst with a fluffy ending, maybe nerd Derek.

[6gpymfzi-blog]

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Morning Pages #18 (24.01.2017)

Tuesday 24th Jan - 8:37 a.m.

I think I’ll need to go and pick up some more of Bruno’s dry food because it’s completely finished now, and he still seems hungry even after some treats and a larger helping of his wet food. The issue is, that Emily left me $600 and for some weird reason, I only have about $200 left. Wait, let me check to make absolutely sure. I have $280 left, and when I buy the cat food that’ll probably go down to $250, and I’m not entirely sure I remember what I even spent that much money on! Where in the world did $400 go in a little over a month? I mean, I remember buying groceries maybe at least three times, so that’s like $60, some books and things for Christmas so...$20. That’s only $80 though. I didn’t even spend that much money on the nights I went out. Maybe all up I spent like $40 out. That’s $120. I spent exactly $21 at the op-shop and I only went to one op-shop. I have no idea where all that money actually went and it’s kind of really really frustrating. My myki fares?? My mobile. That’s $170, but we’re not even halfway to what I’ve actually spent. This is actually infuriating. Oh, $15 on a movie, $5 on the Panettone for Ikaros and I. $190. Plus, myki fares, probably like $240 or quite easily more than that. Mykis are so expensive and in hindsight, I feel I should’ve gotten a pass while I was staying here. $25 for my dinner with Evan, so $265. There’s still about $50-$70 unaccounted for. Oh damn, I’m not even paying rent and bills here and I’ve blown through nearly $400 in a month. I should’ve been keeping a book or something full of my spendings. See, I thought I was quite a thrifty person, but evidently I’ve indulged myself whilst being on holiday. And I still really feel like I haven’t indulged myself at all! I’ve been keeping myself super busy since I’ve moved here. $5 for lunches with Dan and Lucas, $275. This is honestly doing my head in, I have to stop.

I think I’ll definitely need to study and work again. I’ve only got under $800 left to live off of this year, and that’s going to go in no time. I won’t be able to buy clothes, I think. I’ll need to invest very responsibly in which months I’ll get a myki pass. Oh, $16 for bottles of wine. $291. We can round that up to $300. We’re getting closer now to figuring it all out. $20 left, but I can probably write that off to my myki as well. Public transport is draining me, honestly. $4 a day just to get anywhere, I mean I might as well have just stayed in Northcote this entire time. It was even my main expense for most of these last two years, commuting back and forth between the city and South Morang. I spent more money on my myki than I did on my school books, on my food, on myself in general.

I just found the photo that Evan and I posed for the night we were at Laundry. Oh lord, my face. I have so much cheek skin, it’s ridiculous. And my smile is lopsided, and my teeth look menacingly sharp. I’m pretty sure I saw the photographer grimace when he saw the photo pop up on his camera too. My face has been looking more and more menacing as of late, I think. It used to be soft and inviting, but since I’ve lost weight I feel like it’s gotten sharper and more pointed, direct. Except for my nose! My nose is so fat, I have a fucking island nose. And I am allowed to say that because it’s true, my nose is from an island. Also, my skin looks white through the mesh of the hoodie. Evan looks good though. His head’s tilted upwards, he’s got a hand on my shoulder. I feel like he knows how to pose for these quick shots, I feel like he’s had a lot more experience clubbing than I have. I’d say he definitely does. His parents seem to be a lot more rational and a lot less strict than mine.

I went home yesterday for about an hour and the whole time, my parents were on their computer watching videos. My mum disappeared upstairs at one point and I found her sleeping in bed. I tried to talk to her about myself but she just kept saying what she wanted to say, didn’t listen to me at all. In my frustration with her, I ended up just telling her straight out that I went clubbing. She lost her shit. She started yelling and it was impossible to get a word in, all I did was just get up and walk away. I don’t know if I’ll go back home until I absolutely have to now. Thankfully, my dad was downstairs and he had about twenty minutes to talk to me. We spoke about how I went clubbing, what it was like, and my potentially going again. He said he was relatively fine with it, even though he didn’t agree with it. My parents need to understand that at this point, I’m going to blame them more for not letting me have experiences rather than blame them for not stopping me from having bad experiences, because under their guidance I have done very well to have only lived a very very tiny amount. I told my dad that, and he seemed sympathetic to that. I think he’s also closer to understanding that we’re growing up in different times than my mum is. My mum basically called me a slut again twice during my three minute conversation with her. She basically told me not to move as fast with Evan as I did with Ikaros, and then also called me disgusting for going clubbing. I tried to tell her that I didn’t even move that fast with Ikaros at all. It was only two months into knowing him that I kissed him, and we only started having sex five months into knowing each other too. In terms of relationships, Ikaros and I really started off at a glacial pace. Evan and I have been moving faster if anything. I kissed him the night I met him. If only I had that kind of courage the night I met Ikaros. Funnily enough though, both guys were drunk on the same night and I was painfully sober.

Another thing is the assertion of both my parents and Ikaros that I drink too much, just because I like to drink alone on occasion. If anything, I think it’s safer to drink alone at home than it is to drink outside with a whole bunch of people you either don’t know, or can’t really rely on because they’re drinking too. I’ve also never gotten blind drunk, I’ve never blacked out, I’ve only puked once and that was straight away because of the taste and not because of the quantity. Both Ikaros and my dad have gotten alcohol poisoning and I never have, and they can say that I drink too much? It’s a double standard, honestly. Just because I’m a young lady, I honestly think it’s just because I’m a small, young lady and they just think it’s abnormal to see me with alcohol. I don’t want to invite that kind of perception of me. I mean, I know my parents undoubtedly will at any or every given opportunity (because they’re my parents and it’s their job to belittle me), but my boyfriend has no excuse.

Oh, another thing. Vanessa and Ryan broke up, or so I’ve heard, which is insane. They’ve been together for over four years at this point, I’m fairly certain. They were together when I was in Year 12 with Vanessa. They have always been the ultimate power couple to me. Ikaros and I always felt kind of paltry in comparison whenever we hung out with them. And now it turns out that they’re going through exactly the same stuff that we’ve been going through lately! I always felt bad that Ikaros and I would ruin the ‘Power couples’ chat we had going on Facebook, but it turns out it was being simultaneously ruined by all four of us. It’s so weird. It’s like nothing is constant anymore; I feel like my parents have called it quits right now. Though that would never happen, because my parents have a really good marriage and I know this because a psychic told them so.

I told my dad that the main reasons I don’t think it’ll work with Ikaros are first of all, that he can’t give me any real response to my art which is a massive dealbreaker. Being a writer and working in this creative field is a tough position to willingly put oneself in. My professional future is going to be riddled with rejection and there will be demoralisation at every turn. I need a partner who will support me creatively even when the world cannot. I just need that, and it’s painful just knowing that Ikaros can’t give that to me, but I have a feeling it would be infinitely more painful down the line when it actually happens. If I see something that devastating becoming a more than potential reality, I should nip it in the bud, right? Evan’s a reader, too. And talking to him, and to Lucas, it just makes sense that I should be with someone who likes reading. A writer with someone who likes to read, I mean if that ain’t a match made in heaven. The night I met Evan I told him that there are more writers now than there are readers. Even Ikaros had a go at writing, working on that comic with Cameron. Some people will set out to create content without supporting anybody else. The industry is oversaturated with creators, and fewer consumers. To keep up the illusion that I’m not working in vain until the day comes that I’m legitimately successful and actually NOT working in vain, I should have the close support of a ‘consumer’/reader. Evan actually once referred to himself as an ‘aspiring consumer’, during our date.

Secondly, Ikaros is a devout believer in divorce. The marriages in his family have not been good. The women in his family have been borderline insane, and so the men always end up leaving them. Hearing all of his stories of family woe, I’ve always been semi-terrified that he’ll just decide that I’m insane in the future and end up leaving me too. I don’t want that to be my future, but you can’t ignore patterns when they’re right there in front of you. I’m not too fond of the idea of marriage itself, but I think that if you let yourself enter a marriage, you should be committed to it for life. You should respect that commitment FOR LIFE. Because that is the definition of marriage. Divorces were only invented by arrogant royalty, kings who wanted multiple wives. It’s ridiculous that divorce is actually a thing. When I get married, it’s going to be forever.