#Obscenely Rich and Richly Obscene (Doofus)

[muckduckgoose]

Thoughts on a Rebootverse Quack Pack

((I’ve pondered to myself on and off from time to time what a loose remake of Quack Pack set in the universe of DuckTales 2017 would be like. I don’t mean a 90s-style sit-com reality conjured by magic, but like the lives of the DT17 cast when the kids are teens, and hijinks ensuing vaguely similar to in the old 90s show, but with the setting of the reboot and personalities that are written to be the same characters from the reboot but a few years older.

This got long, so under the read-more it goes!

Like, of course, Duckburg wouldn’t be inexplicably populated by humans with only the main Duck family and a select few others being the only animals. If any human characters appear in the reboot version, they’d be anthropomorphized. Maybe Donald has a house now and is married to Daisy at this point, who has a moderately successful fashion line.

Huey, Dewey, and Louie are...I’d say, 16 around this time, and they live with Uncle Donald and Aunt Daisy in the house they got, as does Della. Donald could either be still trying to find a job that sticks or has found one by now, and Della’s probably a freelance pilot when she’s not specifically flying for Scrooge. The boys, no longer living at the mansion, would’ve been enrolled back into in-class learning, which would allow us to have the high school setting. This means less globe-trotting adventures than before, but it doesn’t mean none at all. They’re just reserved for weekends and vacation time.

Huey’s a studious...student. Hardworking straight-A student kinda guy, though not above getting into disagreements with a teacher on occasion. He’s in mostly academic-based extracurricular activities, but he’s got one sports activity to give his Duke-fueling feelings an outlet. He also works as an intern for Dr. Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, who actually does have a doctorate by this point.

Dewey’s a theater kid in pretty much all regards, including actually auditioning for school plays. He’s also officially taking flight school during the summer. He’s also fairly popular at school...when he doesn’t try to force it, as he learned from Ragnarok. He’s still an eccentric Dewer, just toned down from his childhood as he matured.

Louie, of course, is a slacker kid, coasting his way through high school. While still something of a schemer, and typically offering his services out to classmates for a sorta-reasonable-for-a-high-schooler fee, he is more mindful of how his actions could potentially hurt others after the kinds of consequences he suffered as a kid due to his failure to do so in the past.

After a fair bit of persuading towards Beakley, Webby was able to enroll in school the year her brothers did. But of course, she was even less prepared going in than they were, as they at least had the experience of elementary school before moving into McDuck Manor and meeting her. But she takes it in stride, treating the experience as a new adventure. Her being Scrooge McDuck’s daughter via genetic engineering is kept from being public knowledge, and she’s found herself more comfortable calling him Uncle Scrooge anyway. Thanks to Beakley’s thorough educating, Webby ended up in the school’s gifted program and is classmates with Violet.

Lena is...I’m not sure. If Ty and Indy hadn’t already enrolled her in school after adopting her, she probably wouldn’t be enrolled now. As for May and June, they’ve begun living with Webby as her sisters and probably picked up rhyming names so that Webby doesn’t have to go by April to match. Probably like Debbie and...I dunno, what’s another ebby-sounding girl name? They regard Daisy and Donald as their aunt and uncle.

Boyd is also a teenager. Since he probably wasn’t made from some kinda special self-growing nanotech-based metal, he would’ve had to have gotten a new body to match the growth of his naturally evolving computerized mind. He’d be in a few extracurricular activities, most of which overlapping with Huey’s, and he’d be fairly popular in his own right due to how authentically nice he is. He’d also do some volunteering outside of school. His name, in spirit, still stands for Be Only Yourself Dude, but he doesn’t write it as an acronym.

Doofus has also improved overtime, due to being forced to find other ways to get what he wants outside of flaunting his money and/or forcing his will upon others. He’s mostly an awkward young man who can seem bitter at times, but now he’s more consciously aware of how his actions affects others, because he now has to be. And yet, when you get past his defenses and make a genuine attempt at friendship with him, he’s weirdly yet sorta-genuinely sweet. His relationship with Louie, and his siblings by proxy, remains and probably will always remain awkward at best.

Over on the other side of the Audubon Bay, Launchpad is fully living with Drake and Gosalyn, the latter of whom has fully committed to the Quiverwing Quack alias, while Honker still helps both her and Darkwing in heroing from the sidelines. On the school side, his high school teachers may have noticed how overqualified Honker is for his schoolwork, despite him still not being skipped ahead, and given him more fitting work. Either that or he finally does get to skip ahead and graduates early.

Depending on how successful the heroes were in finding and rescuing Waddlemeyer, he may now live with them as the family grandpa. But either way, Drake and Gosalyn have by that point warmed up to each other enough for the former to adopt the latter. And if Waddlemeyer is back, he would have (at the very least, in spirit) taken Drake as a son for a complete family dynamic.

Most of the family enemies from the kids’ preteen years are no longer an issue (and a few of the ones that still are are now Saint Canard problems), but new enemies have come up that are dealt with on the homefront from time to time. But most of the challenges the kids face come from being back in an ordinary school kid setting. But hey, just another adventure in their lives, right?))

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Bob Snow & Francisco Angones

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Vaughn Tada, Brandon Warren

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

Don't eat the cake.

The episode begins with Scrooge noticing that something is terribly wrong. He checks through his manor, opening a few doors to see. Webby, Lena, and Violet are dealing with a giant beast, Mrs. Beakley and Dewey are messing with a tempest in a teapot, and, in what is specifically deemed "very wrong" by Scrooge, Della actually bonding with a child that isn't the blue one. Okay, he's actually reacting to how they're both dramatically shouting about being the Legends of LegendQuest, but that doesn't seem too out of character for Della. Maybe for Huey.

After checking the whole mansion he goes back to his room, and he notices his seat is occupied by a familiar face.

Goldie: Morning, Scroogie.

Scrooge wonders why she would be here, and Louie shows up to tell him he invited her in. This episode continues the Louie Inc plotline that we last saw in "The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck!". That plotline left off with Louie having a choice for his company: use Scrooge's hard work, or will it be the choice that Louie would actually pick. That choice ended up being "team up with the untrustworthy frenemy of Scrooge". Louie sees himself as a professional, he can handle this!

Not even after the opening credits roll, we see that Louie couldn't handle it, as he gets locked into a chest. Louie starts crying, saying that Louie Inc was his dream, and he thought he can be as clever as her, even calling her his hero. Goldie sees through this "crocodile waterworks" pretty much immediately, but takes kindly to Louie's training in the art of cons. That, and she needed a kid for her next con: getting into a "septleventh birth anniversary" for rich families. Who’s the birthday boy?

It turns out to be this reboot's version of Doofus Drake's big birthday party. Oh boy. Admittedly, the annoying living fat joke being retooled into an awkward and spoiled rich kid with creepy tendencies isn't exactly a terrible punishment for our eyes. When I imagined the Louie and Goldie adventure back when that was teased, I never expected anything like this, that's for sure.

Going away from that, anyone can guess at least one of those things Scrooge McDuck closed the door on was going to be the B plot, and it's not about that beast or the tempest in a teapot. We learn that during her adventuring days, after Donald and Scrooge would go right to sleep, Della would play a video game called Legends of LegendQuest. Huey decides to join in.

I do like the subtle joke that the "very wrong" epic speech they were doing was during the game's really long loading screen, which takes until this scene to load 100%. I would hate to say I liked it because it was the only subtle joke in this B plot, but I have to say it.

The rest of this B plot takes place inside the game world. This isn't a case of a magical video game that sucks them in, they just happen to have avatars that look exactly like them with some subtle differences. Della is this strong warrior woman with a strong resemblance to Zero from Mega Man X, with what looks like a scouter from the early days of Dragon Ball Z. I am sure this show is beyond referencing that ancient "over 9000" meme.

Her son decided to go with the joy of being an ordinary farmer who farms under a giant force field, protecting his garden from the bugs that manage to get past it. The joke is that Huey is boring, but Della is fun! Huey kind of reminds me of that other red accessory wearing kid from the other show in this episode, and not the good version of her.

We see Doofus's party, filled with more Beagle Boys than one might expect. Sorry to say, they do not appear that much. He has all the party quirks that would fit someone of his obscenely rich and richly obscene personality. Instead of bobbing for apples, he has bobbing for splinters. His birthday cake promises that it's not full of hair. Even Louie starts to talk to himself about the obvious joke that it will lead to, until he and Goldie get distracted by the party bags filled with gold.

Louie tries to take one of those party bags, only for Doofus's parents, or "servants" as Doofus calls them, to slap his hand. These bags are meant for departing guests, and are filled with priceless heirlooms from his late Guhmeemama Frances.

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

Oh yeah, whenever her name is said in this episode and Day of the Only Child, they have to whisper to themselves her name. It gets a good payoff here in many more ways than one.

Louie tries to run off with two of the bags again, this time pretending to leave the party, only for Goldie to stop him this time. Apparently, she does not want Louie to be a bad party guest! Oh, and she wants all the bags. She also will not tell Louie her plan to do so, because he would not learn anything. Oh, and she doesn't know what her plan is. A lot of her dialogue is like that.

But enough about her way of talking, the "servants" announce that the "universe's perfect widdle (sic) angel" is making his grand entrance. A closed clam shows up, surrounded by angels. It's a scene very similar to a certain painting, and I really don't like where this is going.

Thankfully, they don't go with him barely covering himself up with a long blonde wig. Somehow, him just popping up right behind Louie is the second worst thing that could have happened with that. As he speaks about how seeing all of his guests with their loving parents reminds him of the only parental figure he knows, he sniffs that some of these families are filthy liars that only went to his party to get his gift bags!

One of those people turns out to be Percival P. Peppington, a guy that sort of looks like Willy Wonka and has at least enough money to hire Johnny, formerly of the Ottoman Empire, to pose as his kid. I looked Percival up, he's not a character from the comics, and he never appears again after this episode. Exposed, Percival ends up getting sentenced by Doofus to go into a trapdoor into his honey bin.

Percival: Don't you mean "Money Bin"?

Doofus: No. (hits button)

We never see this honey bin, but judging by the sound of bees and Randy's face when he looks down into the trapdoor, one would be wishing Doofus could just wish them into the cornfield instead. Thankfully, Doofus has mercy for the not-so-child actor, as he merely gets ejected via spring.

Seeing this, Louie whispers to Goldie that he can smell lies. He and Goldie will then talk about the plan to expose the two obvious phonies to Doofus, leaving them as the only people worthy enough to grab those money bags. They say this all out loud, because there's no way Doofus would hear them despite Louie's fear about him smelling lies!

It may be possible that Louie is heavily overestimating Doofus's abilities to smelling crooks, considering who those two phonies are and at least one of their plans. There's Glomgold, with a son named Sharkbomb that always seems to stay on his right arm, and Mark Beaks, who now has a son named Boyd. Clearly, one is way more unbelievable than the other. I mean, Mark Beaks having a kid? Maybe I'm underestimating how many fangirls he has. As he shows off his family selfies, all of them with his kid with the same exact face, he says this:

Mark Beaks: Yeah, I love this, uh, what is this, uh, uh, son!

This line outright blurts out that this son is completely fake, but anyone should expect that. Doofus does not smell this lie, as he just mentions that looking at his family selfies reminds him of his family memories.

This leads to Doofus sobbing and kissing his father's stomach, which happened to have a tattoo of his Guhmeemama...

Doofus's parents: Guhmeemama.

...riding on a Doofus centaur. Maybe it is best not to ask.

Glomgold also shows off his own family photos, which are surprisingly more convincing than the tech guru's, and Louie has to think fast. Thankfully, a quick trip to a nearby photo booth and Louie's not-too-convincing smiles clears that up. How it seems like Louie isn't even trying and still manages to win just seems to weaken him to me, but don't tell that to Goldie, who now wants to go on the offensive. Who is the first mark? It's not Beaks, as much as they seemed to be setting up for that joke.

All of the guests get into the pool, not by choice, and Louie tells Glomgold he wants to talk to Sharkbomb alone. Glomgold decides to try his best at ventriloquism while he's underwater to expected effects. He tells Sharkbomb about how Goldie has the hots for his dad. It's cool to see that plot thread from "The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains!" get referenced, and that reference also interests Glomgold, who suddenly comes out from the water to ask if it's true.

He tries to cover it up by having his puppet son say "as if", only for Glomgold to take his own puppet son's words as an insult. Considering "Duke Baloney", this whole fight may have a bit more depth than one could see here. I don’t think it is intentional, but that is something.

Eventually, that fight ends with him beheading his own son right in front of Doofus' eyes. Needless to say, Glomgold's attempt to put Sharkbomb's head back on with his spit does not please the manchild of the day. Doofus decides to send Glomgold to the honey bin.

Glomgold: Don't let go, Sharkbomb!

Sharkbomb: Don't tell me what to dooo! (lets go)

Gotta say, Glomgold and Sharkbomb ends up being one of the highlights of the episode. Kind of wish we got to see more of them.

Instead, we get to see Mark Beaks and Boyd, the latter of which suspiciously doesn't want to put his head below water! Also, he seems to have the strength of a million and seventy men. I guess he really shouldn't complain. But I have a feeling he can't go out for a walk without rusting in the rain. I guessed this as soon as I saw him, anyway; it would be fitting for the tech guru.

Speaking of tech, they do cut back and forth between this party plot and the video game plot, and, unlike the last episode, it doesn't do any creative transitions between them. One minute, we're watching Louie plot his schemes. In the next minute, that plot pauses so we can see a close-up of Huey talking about how the fate of the land is in Della's hands...that land being the garden. The joke is that Huey is boring!

Unlike Huey's insistence on staying in his force field bubble and playing FarmVille, Della wants him to explore the world, go to a checkpoint, and use all of that XP he's getting from those bugs to become super-powerful. This is all a metaphor for Huey not wanting to leave his comfort zone even with his mother goading him to do so. How subtle do they make this metaphor?

Huey: Hey Mom? I think I should step out of my comfort zone.

By outright saying it. As an aside, being one of the adventurous nephews, is Huey really the person that needs this lesson?

Back to the more exciting plot, Boyd sure plays some mean pinball, and Doofus is taking a liking to him. Louie tries to find some dirt on Boyd, looking through Mark Beaks' Waddle profile and looking at all of the pictures with his kid. Ignoring how Boyd has the same face in every picture, the biggest tell that this kid may be a fake is that there's no baby pictures!

Louie: Where are the baby pictures? Beaks would never pass up that sweet clickbait!

Goldie: Click-what, now?

Louie's not wrong, and it's good to see one scam Goldie would never take a part in. However, they need something more obvious. Eventually, Louie gets one, as he gets connected to the Beaks Optimistic Youth Droid's Wi-Fi network.

Even though Goldie isn't tech-savvy, even she can recognize an acronym when she sees it. Not willing to outright tell Doofus about his new best friend being a robot, Louie decides to just ask the B.O.Y.D. what he did two days ago.

To make a long story short, it doesn't work out, as the B.O.Y.D. starts shooting lasers out of his eyes. Wow, I guess I can't avoid reviewing shows with laser-eye-using children.

Eventually, his fake eyes melt, and he ends up falling into the pool. Mark Beaks laments that he's going to need a big bag of rice right before he'll need something to wash off honey, bees, and whatever else is in the honey bin Doofus sent him to. Goldie is impressed, and sends some praise to her not-really nephew about how they should team up on a more permanent basis.

Doofus is really upset that his newest best friend had their eyes melted, apparently at least the second year in a row this has happened. Much like Calvin and Hobbes' "noodle incident" and whatever led to his father getting a tattoo of a centaur Doofus, one's imagination can fill in the blanks far better than even the mighty DuckTales writers could on how that could happen. Only a minute after that aforementioned praise...

Goldie: Llewellyn Duck, I am so disappointed! Ruining poor Doofus' party, trying to take all the extra bags by yourself! Who raised you?

(a minute later)

Goldie: Sorry, Sharpie, I only work for myself! I want you gone, mister!

Oh, Goldie! For reasons only Doofus seems to know, he decides to arrange that last plan with the help of the BOYD. He's able to do this thanks to him grabbing the phone that just happened to slip out of Beak's hands when he sent him to the Honey Bin earlier. Doofus presses the “Kill” button on the stolen phone, and the B.O.Y.D. rises up from the pool water, mostly unharmed. So much for needing the rice.

Doofus essentially does his “psycho rich kid” shtick again, saying that his party wouldn't be complete without him beating a pinata, and he wants to hunt the most dangerous pinata: man. As he controls the BOYD, we're left to wonder if Goldie will just take the money and run, leaving Louie to get beaten by a robotic kid.

Oh, of course Goldie decides to save Louie in the end, putting herself between the rapidly spinning bat and the "Sharpie". Doofus ends up saying this was all a test to see if Goldie could be a loving parent or not. This doesn't completely add up to the cover story, but maybe that was what Doofus actually wanted, as we'll soon see.

Meanwhile, in the video game, Huey finally manages to get out of the "comfort zone" by stepping out of it. This turns the force field off, causing an alien to zap it and kidnap his mom. He initially thinks that he should have just stayed in his comfort zone, but he then realizes he needs to save his Mom. He runs towards the checkpoint, and his level begins to rise. Or, as Della says...

Della: That power level... (scouter explodes)

Oh, dear.

Della: ...it's over 9000!

Well, I guess they were not above it after all! Do not get me wrong: I don't hate this, and at least the line still fits. Huey becomes a Super Saiyan God The Duke and destroys the alien monster with his raw fisticuffs. That's pretty much it for this B plot; it ends with a scene where Della has to wrestle the keyboard away from him because he was getting too "not comfortable". Eh.

In the A plot, we get to see the aftermath of Louie and Goldie's plot: Doofus gives Louie all of the gift bags, and Goldie's good parenthood gets rewarded by becoming the new Goldiemama.

Doofus's parents: Goldiemama.

Don’t worry, that’s not the only payoff, and the other one is so satisfying, one needs to watch the episode because I will not spoil it.

It should be obvious even from this episode that being that Goldiemama is not a pleasant reward to say the least, even without the glass dome Doofus is keeping her in. Louie, knowing this, fights with himself with whether or not he should just take the money and run. Goldie did just betray him a few minutes ago. Maybe it would be a deserved punishment to let that betrayer suffer by being in the Doofus household.

Oh, of course Louie decides against taking the money and running, and goes to the rescue of his Louie Inc partner. This was a turn of events about as expected as Goldie not willing to let Doofus break the living pinata. I mean, it's not like they're just going to shoot someone into the moon...okay, that was a bad example.

Actually, come to think of it, Louie Inc doesn't really come up in this plot. Considering a future episode, he would consider stealing a business opportunity, but he has to find some way to make it technically not stealing.

As standard for my DuckTales reviews, I am not going to entirely spoil the ending of this episode. While it shouldn't be much of a spoiler to know that Louie will not be rich at the end of this episode and Goldie will be rescued, there is a very pleasant scene to see for people who just want to see Doofus' parents get something good for a change, and to see Doofus finally get something he deserved.

I'll also show this: this episode ends with this oddly touching shot of Goldie slipping in one of the on-the-spot pictures of Louie, right next to a picture of dear ol' Scroogie. Awww.

How does it stack up?

At first, I didn't really like this episode, but repeated viewings did lead me to see some of the good of this episode. However, I couldn't shake off that I didn't really like the B plot. It's not the worst, but it's not great, either. The best part is that it's not the mama's boy this time.

Despite the good moments with Glomgold, and I did like the ending of the A plot, this episode didn't do as much for me as most episodes of this show. I'm not going to send it to the Honey Bin, though.

Next, a nightmare!

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