#OUGH i've been in my feelings about this since you sent it last night oh my god

[byanyan]

Haru met them first, somehow being tasked instead of Xiao with picking them up after the announcement was made by Jun. She saw... someone who deserved better, but someone who didn't deserve this — didn't deserve how all of things were going down. She saw glimmers of her childhood, other kids she took care of. And she saw someone who just — needed care without condition... something she had needed herself, once.

the first thing your muse noticed about byanㅤㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting! )

ㅤ...ah. well. that's...

that's a first, they think. (do they deserve better? being taken in by a high profile couple for the purpose of good publicity felt pretty par for the course, even back then.)

there's an instinctive urge to be combative, to deny deny deny — they don't need anyone to care, they stopped needing that a long time ago. and perhaps, if this were coming from anyone else, they would. haru, though... loath as they are to admit it, she's always understood on some level. she's had them figured out from the start. she could see straight through the carefully crafted walls they'd been building for seventeen years to everything hidden behind — maybe she can't make out all the details, but she can see enough of the picture to come to some informed conclusions. there's always been a familiarity — a relatability and an understanding — in their interactions with her which they can't say they've ever felt from a parent or guardian before.

she had seen them to their core from the moment they first met and, for the first time in their life... that is not such a terrifying concept. in fact, it's almost comforting.

[alpenglw]

Friday Night Music Tag Except It's Not Friday Anymore SORRYYYYY

tagged by @birgdets!!! the rules are to put your spotify "on repeat" playlist on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come on. and then tag 10 people!!!

oh how fun... it is just like 2009 deviantart... ough the old days of journals and chains etc.... YIPPEE

You Come Down - Marika Hackman // this is my song for imagining lesbian nuns kissing to. drives me CRAAAZYYYYYY!!!! blood??? thorny crowns???? cannibalism mention???? daffodils mention???? "but you could always make me hurt"??????? AAAUUUUGHHHH

Two Time - Jack Stauber // sorry. sorry. sorry. it's just a fun song okay. i'll have you know i did NOT find it on tiktok, i found it through FURRY ANIMATIONS

Out Like a Light 2 - The Honeysticks, Ricky Montgomery // ough o-|-< ever since roo sent me this as a birdie song i've been obsessed with it. thank you roo. it is such a lovely song

Mother Mother - Tracy Bonham // this one is 100% because of luci. i had barely ever listened to this song until like last week

Show You a Body - Haley Heynderickx // ough o-|-< this song makes me feel some sort of way. sends shivers down my spine. absolutely haunting song. man

Cannibal - Marika Hackman // um sorry i like marika hackman's cannibal themed music a lot. anyway this one is berhta's psychosis song

Mt. St. Helens - Mirah // i love this song... ough. reminds me of so many ocs and i also just think it's a nice fun song. reminds me a little bit of hop along's music. idk mirah's sexuality but this song is about yuri to me

Divine Loser - Clem Turner // YIPPEE this song is very slow but the rhythm is very soothing to me... huge fan of this one. i like it a lot

Grim Reaper - Suzi Wu // GRRRR BARK BARK BARK SUZI WUUU UGH THIS SONG MAKES ME MAD. huge warlock song for me.

rises the moon - Liana Flores // ugh this song makes me nostalgic for summer. and kind of just nostalgic in general. man. makes me think of growing up in socal o-|-<

this list ended up being very soft and indie leaning but i'll let you know that It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Fucking Deathwish by My Chemical Romance was song number 11. so whatever

idk if i know enough people on this website to tag 10 of them. @wingedog @rookruffs @mosasaura @ti-me-lo-rd @starleafsun @silver-falling-star @bori-cha @s4lmonsk1n @leafo-supreme @pmd3