#OUGH I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU MEANT 😭

[mspaint-flower]

Are requests still open-? (I hope they are, ah- if they aren't then you can just ignore!! ^^)

May you consider.. bacterial contamination flower..?

(I love your art so so so much and I currently have bacterial contamination brainrot because the design is so freaking cool and I'm so so so obsessed w/ her I've literally listened to it on loop for about 2 days straight now)

this has been sitting for like 2 months i think today is the right day to draw this

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

may i request sniperscout angst, specifically hcs about how theyd handle eachotjers deaths in a no-respawn au

SniperScout Angst Headcanons (No Respawn AU)

————————————————————

Of course you can! Even though it breaks my heart because I love Sniperscout sm 😭 Also almost back to back Scout angst, what did this man do to you people?

————————————————————

Uh, a little off-topic, but I feel like Sniper and Scout are Nick and Gatsby, I don't know. Is that weird? Like sure, we know Sniper talks to his parents, but I feel like his mom would be the only one to come while Scout planned the entire funeral. Anyway, on to the actual headcanons!

————————————————————

Scout locked himself in Snipers van. Bearly eating or drinking, he won't talk to anyone. He just lays on the bed, holding on to anything that could remind him of Sniper. He's not even just heartbroken. It's more than that. It's like his soul was ripped out of his body. He just wants to be able to hold him one more time, to tell him he loves him one more time, to live the life they were supposed to, just one more time. He keeps his hat and sunglasses close at all times. He never let's them go, and no one is ever allowed to touch them. He even attaches his van keys to his dog tags.

Once he gets back to normal, or as normal as he could be after losing someone who meant so much to him, he's ruthless in battle. Every kill he gets is for Sniper. Everything he does is for Sniper. He also goes to either his grave or where his ashes are kept after every battle, bringing a gift of some kind to place next to him, and then telling him about the day he had.

"I really gave them hell to day Snipes. You should have seen it." He let's out a sigh and kisses the top of the urn/gravestone.

————————————————————

Sniper would also lock himself in his van. It's never been so cold, so empty, so forgin to Sniper. Scout had added a sense of life to the van, and that was extinguished the day he died. He misses Scout's jokes, his smile, his laugh, and just everything Scout did. He made the world brighter for Sniper. He really just feels lost. He's never really felt a pain like this. He can barely breathe most days, and if you thought he was quiet before, he's dead silent now. He took Scout's dogtags, and he wears them every day.

Eventually, he gets the willpower to join the battle again. He's never gotten more kills in his life. Blood has stained the field more than ever. He visualizes every enemy as the one who killed Scout. He pours all his anger and sadness into his job. He visits the grave/urn a lot, knowing this is the closest he'll be to Scout ever again, so he spends most of his time near the urn or grave.

"I miss ya more than words can say." He says. (He also kisses the gravestone/urn)

————————————————————

OUGH HAPPY TIME BECAUSE I NEED TO ADD IT OR I'LL CRY!!! Basically, how they react if Medic brought them back (before being cremated or buried, obviously)

————————————————————

Scout is immediately throwing himself on Sniper, holding him tighter than humanly possible. Babbling about how he'll never let him go again, tears flowing freely as he jokes that if Sniper ever pulls a stunt like that, Scout will be his cause of death. Scout probably smothered this man with jokes, kisses, and cuddles that entire night. He's so thankful he got a second chance, and he makes sure Sniper knows that Scout will never take a moment with him for granted again.

————————————————————

Sniper runs up to Scout, asking him a million and one questions, all basically asking the same thing. Are you okay? And to Snipers relief, Scout is better than okay. Sniper is crying under his glasses, Scout only reaches up to pull them off and kiss his face. He hugs Scout so tight he knocks the air out of his lungs. Scout, let's out a soft chuckle, hugging him back. Sniper spends the night being the most emotional he's ever been. These two love each other so much it's insane.

————————————————————

Uh, the end! Ough I hope you don't mind the happy ending Anon. I'm a sucker for sweet endings :,) I hope you guys liked this, and I feel really hyped, i think I'm finally back into writing again, I missed it. I think I wore myself out for a hot minute, but I'm back! Anyways, hopefully, at least one or two new posts after this :)

Love you guys, and thank you for being patient with me 💖💖

[sixosix]

girl (/gn) i totally get you esp about being a xiao kisser.. like?? imagine being so down bad for your main but you can barely write him as good as you do for the rest of your faves :')) BUT BRO (/gn) I SERIOUSLY LOOOOVE ALL YOUR FICS!! the moment i found you, binged each n every one >:)) it's okay, xiao will find his time to shine, so much so that you'll feel super proud once it happens.

ANYWHOOOO!! here is the brainrot that i got, i really hope that i sent this at a good time, otherwise feel free to just let this float away~ (also i'm so, so hooked by thawed. lyney had absolutely no right to be so delulu over the reader- I LEGIT GIGGLED WHEN LYNETTE SAID PROPOSED TO THE READER COME AWNNN!!! lyney, honey, i will shake you by the shoulders.)

promise by laufey, right?

i personally think this song has such a very.. hurt, hurt, hurt, comfort and then more hurt, but at last, comfort vibe. it fits both boys - both lyney and aether. they are so magnificent, shining brightly on their own- one on a stage and the other across nations. pulling away from them hurts like a bitch, because their love felt like a warm embrace that burned like a bandage each time you tried to yank away.

being with them was like heaven. being with them brought you the kind of joy that eternal paradise would supply. being with them .. archons, being with them felt like their mere presence could shelter you away from the darkness of the world.

and it hurts to be something.

because being with them meant danger. meant arguments- ones that neither of you can win. it spelled disaster with each wound, and caused misery with each day left alone to one's devices. being with them meant that you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit- oh, you've done the math. there was no solution, and there was no way to force you — a mere extra puzzle piece — to fit their masterpiece.

yet it's worse to be nothing with them.

ok n then that's the end of my brainy brainrot.. the second last verse in the song:

So I broke my promise

I called you last night

I shouldn't have, I wouldn't have

If it weren't for the sight of a boy

Who looked just like you

Standing out on Melrose Avenue

can you imagine just how beautiful it would be to imagine a scene where you taught you mistook the sight of the one closest to your heart, and in an act of desperation and longing, you try to hurry and contact them. shaky hands and shivering figure, your heart practically weeping with overdue worry and grief of your past relationship, only to find them also looking for you- as if it was fate. clinging to each other and pouring your hearts out into the only two souls that could hear you two.

AHHH THAT'S IT THOO,,, hope you didn't mind the brainrot, i totally really just "hm user sixosix would very much enjoy this idea methinks" BUT I DID NOT PLAN THIS OUT VERY WELL. hope you're having a good day, afternoon, evening, night!! ❤️

HI!!! i see ur reblogs a lot so its rlly rlly nice to see u interacting more and more often! :D im soso happy u like thawed. that series is my baby. ALSO its rlly cute u thought id like this idea BC I DO!!! wow. U get me.

your writing is soso pretty :( ITS POETRY!!! i love it and how u captured the feel of the song (which is just pain) and the “you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit” OHHH!!! thats the shit i live for. realizing that you dont fit in w the life he lives in. Pain.

what i think is that this song fits aether the most !!! OUUUGHH you knowing that aether has to leave teyvat eventually but u cant help but long for him THATS THE GOOD SHIT “we’ll never last / why can’t i let go of this?”

“i made a promise to distance myself” BC u know that you have to stop caring so u dont get hurt when he leaves!!!!’

this song is beyond perfect tysm for sharing this w me!! Ough now i may end up writing this and blame it on you bc its so perfect 😭😭😭

[remnantglow]

how do i not send ALL the numbers ough. hi mar!! book asks: 4, 6, 9, 12, 13, 17, 19. okay that's less than a third of them yeehaw. i hope you're having a good evening <3

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

HEAD IN HANDS another yr where i told myself i'd read the Broken Earth trilogy and then didnt

9. Did you get into any new genres?

god i wish. this was the science fiction year baby

12. Any books that disappointed you?

i think the worst ones were Autonomous by Annalee Newitz and Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield. not to be a hater but i don't think ive ever gone from "excited" to "absolutely furious bc i despise everything that's happening" as quick as i did with Autonomous 😭 and Our Wives Under the Sea was just really boring sorry. like the premise sounded SOOO promising but literally nothing happened in that book and the writing didn't do it for me at all :/

13, What were your least favorite books of the year?

i think the ones that take the cake (besides the the aforementioned Autonomous) are Sleeping Giants+Waking Gods by Sylvain Neuvel, which i listened to in like a day in what i can only describe as a delirious haze. only to have the realization that i did not enjoy a single minute of the last, like, 10 hours. and DNF the last book in the trilogy 10% in. they were So bad and i only got that far bc i was in a Very weird mental headspace fkjgnk

OH AND Sphere by Michael Crichton. i liked Jurassic Park and i was NOT prepared to be decked with the full force of Crichton's racism & sexism in this one 💀

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Holly Jackson's A Good Girl's Guide To Murder trilogy! i wasn't expecting much bc of their whole… booktok… vibe, but they're actually very well-done mysteries with really great character development in the MC and some of the most compelling handling of trauma i've seen in YA

19. Did you use your library?

Yea :] Library apps that let you borrow audiobooks and ebooks r Everything to me

[heatwa-ves]

top five blorbos and why

under the cut bc this gets pretty long 🤧

1. ritsu- enstars

RITSU. ritsu. he's cute he's sleepy he's silly!!! he makes me deeply and profoundly sad!!! he's so scared of change and abandonment 🤧🤧🤧 I wrote a whole essay on his fear of loneliness in discord dms to my friend that's how unwell he makes me... he's also really cute and sweet tho and he's a vampire (allegedly) and he's in his friends to lovers arc with his bestie so true!!! I read the meowsketeers scout story the other day and it amplified my ritsu emotions by 500% and then I read band ensemble yesterday and uh.

I relate to him an absurd amount and he's so so important to me...ritsu my best friend ritsu

2. izumi and leo- enstars

"tia you can't put two characters in the same spot!! also why is half of the list knights!!" it's my list and I do what I want. and I can't separate my izumi insanity from my leo insanity they go hand in hand.... anyway izuleo make me ridiculously unwell it's the codependency it's the loving the other but hating themselves.... it's leo shutting himself away from the world, from even izumi, when they were so close, and then izumi not knowing how to handle that loss because he can't be honest with himself and so he uses makoto as a replacement for leo and becomes borderline obsessive so that he can ensure no one will leave him again....they're both Severely unwell they make eachother worse and better they're perfect for eachother they are my barbie dolls and I'm making them kiss. anyway. read lionheart. this is my dying request....

3. angel devil- chainsaw man

ANGEL!!! he's everything to me...he's the reason I started reading csm I love him so much... he's such a tragic character honestly like. trying to keep this as spoiler free as possible but his backstory makes me violently sob. anyway his relationship with aki is. ough. something something love despite everything... actively making the effort to protect eachother even though you're a devil and he's a human and you were never meant to get along... when you're essentially a glorified tool to public safety and he treats you like a person. ok. okay. also angel representing exactly how disposable the devils are to public safety and that's why [SPOILER] anyway he's so relatable like me and my bestie who just wanna sleep and eat ice cream and not do work.

4. kyouka- bungou stray dogs

kyouka has become my favourite bsd character I love her SO MUCH the representation of her breaking the cycle of abuse that goes Mori -> dazai -> aku -> kyouka (I don't think mori necessarily abused dazai but that's a discussion for another time) anyway kyouka being able to go into the light is so important even tho people try to drag her back one she's experienced happiness she makes the conscious decision to stay with the ada and they become a family to her that she hasn't had since the loss of her parents... anyway she's a silly little guy. I'm buying her a crepe.

5. kazuha - genshin impact

I'm not really into genshin anymore but kazuha is soooo. so. he's one of the first characters that invoked such a blorboful response from me and I've been obsessed with him since his first appearance back in summer 2021... (I skipped his first banner BC I was saving for albedo and immediately regretted skipping 😭 but hey I got him on his rerun and then dropped the game) he's the character I've put through the most trauma I will hurt him again and again 💖💖💖 so true. I hope more bad things happen to him. my silly billy. also I'm still unhinged over kazugorou they're so important to me ... boy..friemds....

[sillybeansss]

(HELLO I WASNT EXPECTING SUCH A FAST REPLY!!!!! also…i saw what you rbed…)

wait what. you mean to tell me i was missed? (ME TOO!!!!!!  but. i. what do you mean im scared i was not expecting you to also miss me…i tjink i should be happy about that but im also scared uhm)

REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL!!!!! ough i . have been procrastinating on my homework ALL WEEK…just for it to not work out in the end…so its. alright i suppose but STILL??? I NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING SO MUCH IT WILL BE THE DEATB OF ME AND ALREADY HAS AND I STILL NEVER LEARN DIFUJFJFNVG…i will leave this here before i get wven more frustrated. in very short, i feel you…hetalia gets the best of the best of us…(the worst is yet to xome /j /nvmitakeitbackidontwanttojinxmyself)

WHAT LUXKY?? my parents straight up refuse because they think im neurotypical. do you think im neurotypical…because i dont and neither do a lot of my friends (the majority of which are neurodivergent—stuff like adhd, autism, ocd, anxiety, which i definitely show symptoms of and have st least ONE of tjem I HAVE SOMETHING I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT BUT I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I AM NOT NEUROTYPICAL…)

youre right! optimism IS great!! but, yeah, unfortunately emotional regulation is borderline impossible (how to accomplish emotional regulation and to stop getting frustrated no borax no glue)

therapy is so scary to me for some reason…but im glad that you and your therapist are working on it!!! i hope you guys achieve it!!! (is that something appropriate to say? uhm..)

also, no need to be nervous!!! im sure the assessment will be no more than just a couple of questions to determine if you have any traits or not…maybe. at least thats the impression ive been given! 

also dont apologize for rambling! practically all ive been doing is rambling!

…not going to lie if i had a chance to get evaluated and i end up having it id be so happy like. wow that explains a lot. im not weird or lazy actually i just have autism…but alas there is no yrue way of knowing. oh well. i wish you luck on your assessment! (is this something that people say…)

im alright btw! you? :3 

also FELICIANOOO!!!!!! (thats northern italy btw!) 

um insert a gif of russia but i cant do that on anon because tumblr is rude and doesnt give us GIF rights

~🫶🏽🎳

ACK IGNO5THAT!!!! 😭 I meant to reblog it on my other account but I did it on the wrong one,, also sorry if me saying I missed ya was weird you just seem really cool and our conversation from yesterday was nice!! :3 also I reply quick usually cause idk I check Tumblr quite a bit recently 0_0

AND YEAH I WAS SO SURPRISED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WOULDDD for like the past year or so my friends keep saying in probably autistic and I think my therapist recommending my mom to get evaluated really pushed it so she said she'll plan the appointment when she can!! ^u^ and I'm mostly just nervous cause like ermm uhmm idk being dishonest and overthinking every little answer is s very big thing that makes me think I'll somehow trick myself into saying something that's not actually my true answer to said question,,, I'm not gonna get into that it's a whole thing :/

And im pretty sure it Is an appropriate thing to say!!c: I think?nkt fully sure but dw about it : ] and HOORAY!!! That's great silly I've been doing swell today ^_^