#OP I ADORED THISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[princess-of-purple-prose]

[ID: An Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint comic of Kim Dokja speaking to Yoo Joonghyuk while they both sit in Dokja's hospital bed. Dokja looks down, blushing, and says, "Hey, Joonghyuk. I wanted to tell you something." Joonghyuk looks at him curiously.

Dokja's lengthy internal monologue fills the entire background of the next panel, essentially saying that he's been selfishly holding Joonghyuk back from happiness while blaming himself for hurting him, and that by confessing, Dokja can free Joonghyuk from obligation. Out loud, he only smiles, tenderly and tiredly, and says, "Yoo Joonghyuk, I am in love with you."

The style turns cartoony for a panel as Dokja clutches his chest and thinks, teary but relieved, "This should be enough to get Yoo Joonghyuk to step back..." A sparkle floats beside him as he says out loud, "It was not right to hide it from you." A note adds, "Ah... It hurts a little... 💔" Joonghyuk blushes lightly, emitting an ellipsis.

Then the style goes back to semi-realistic as little hearts and flowers surround Joonghyuk, who blushes while smiling with contentment as he says, "Hm. (Good.)" Dokja, hand still at his chest, flushes hard and says shakily, "... Eh?" He goes, "W... What's with that face?" as he stares with a shocked smile, thinking "Wait wait wait" over and over.

Joonghyuk turns to Dokja, serious and blushing, and takes his hands as he exclaims, "Kim Dokja! How do you feel about a spring wedding? (We should start planning it out now.)" Dokja, blushing hard and stunned, goes, "Huh?!" The final panel is once again cartoony as Joonghyuk stands up, looking excited and determined, and exclaims, "Time to plan a wedding!" Biyoo cheers, "Congrats, Father, Captain!" Dokja is left on the bed, surrounded by woozy spirals and question marks as he mumbles, "Wha? Hu~h?" The mugs they'd been holding lie discarded on the floor.

The bonuses are the entirety of Dokja's internal monologue and an alternate version of panel four. The full monologue reads:

"I have been thinking this for a while, but... Haven't I been selfishly holding Yoo Joonghyuk back from pursuing the love of his life until now? He is such a devoted and loyal man, and he cares for his companions a lot, has suffered so much, and I have been the cause most of the time. This regression and the source of it all. Clearly he has spent so much time chasing after me even through space and time but... He could have had a life. Loved someone, settled down. Instead he had to suffer longer than necessary out of obligation. I caused his regressions and his pain, and he was still fooled into caring for me. He was shackled to me and I was too selfish to want to distance myself all this time, living on borrowed time and too stupid to realize what these feelings even were until now. I have to fix this and set this man free, but if I simply step back, he will never allow me, this stubborn fool. He is too loyal, even to this rotten existence of mine who caused him so much grief. I demanded all his focus and was too greedy... No more, though. I will confess these feelings I holds for him, expose this shameful desire and let him see all of it, and he will be the one to step back and put some distance between us. It will hurt but this is for his happiness and I have already asked for too much as it is. I will grieve and let him go, and I know that despite everything he will still make space for me in his life even then, because he is kind and I am not a good enough person to say no. It will be enough to have him in my life like that. I cannot ask for more when he has given me so much already. This will be my goodbye. Yoo Joonghyuk, please, be happy, even if it's not by my side..."

The rejected panel, which takes place after Dokja says "It was not right to hide it from you," is unshaded. In this version, Joonghyuk smiles at Dokja while blushing and says, "I've been waiting for a long time to hear you say it, Kim Dokja. I am in love with you as well. (Have been for a while.)" Dokja, extremely flustered, exhales a contented-looking spirit and babbles, "Ha haha what." End ID]

Yoo Joonghyuk is now planning to cook the wedding reception meal.

So this stemmed from me realising that most of the time, Kim Dokja in fanfics (or fanart) doesn't quite confess and keeps all of his feelings buried.

I also thought, though, that he would choose the opposite way too -confess his feelings, pretend it to be not as important, not as big, as a way to distance himself from those emotions, ready to take some embarrassment and shame due to the confession in order to feel less pained when inevitably (in his mind) those feelings are rejected.

Takes control of something horrible and shameful for him so it will feel less raw and visceral, less 'i'm being perceived'.

Except he absolutely does not count on Yoo Joonghyuk having feelings back so of course he's blown away by YJH accepting and coveting that confession that he's been waiting forever to hear.

extra: the background from panel 2 since i handwrote that, and a rejected panel.