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The Outsiders: Home Alone

The Outsiders: Home Alone (Episode 2)

Published: 10-14-19 - Updated: 10-15-19

Squit is struggling to babysit Pinky, Brain, Wakko and Pesto in his house. This is episode 2 of The Outsiders. This is also an Animaniacs fanfic. Rated R for Strong Language.

Part 1: Da Pussy Patrol!

(Squit N/R: As Wakko made himself very much at my place, Pinky had come up with a plan to put some distance between his sexual organs and the dog. He'd temporarily lose Benji, run home and do what he had to do, do what he had to do again, and once more if it wasn't too painful, then head out with some "lost dog" signs and a 20 reward. Unfortunately, Benji - a dog - was too smart for him.)

Pinky: (he saw Benji coming back from the park) Fuck, Benji!

(Squit N/R: Back at mine, I was fighting a losing battle to house-train my new pet.)

Squit: Do you eat this much toast at home?

(Wakko pulls out a jar of hummus from the cabinet)

Wakko: Squit, what's this...hummus? Is it for humans?

Squit: (sarcastically) No, it's for extraterrestrials, that's why we keep it in the refrigerator for Area 51 in the first place. Of course it's for fucking humans!

Wakko: Can you have it on toast? (takes a bite)

Squit: Please use a plate.

(Pinky comes out of nowhere.)

Pinky: Y'all okay, pussies? I brought beer by the way.

Squit: How the fuck did ya get in?!

Pinky: Yo dumbass left tha front door open.

Squit: Wak, did you leave the front door open?!

Wakko: My bad.

Pinky: Do us some toast, Wak.

Wakko: No probs.

(Pinky turns on the TV while using the laptop at the same time, as Squit gets annoyed and closes the front door.)

Squit: Excuse me, is there a sign outside by the permanently open front door saying, "This way to the toast bar - Enter here"?! Look, you're not even watching the TV.

Pinky: Jesus, calm down, Home Alone! It's just force of habit.

Squit: Why are you even here anyway?!

Pinky: I needed to get away from my own fuckin' house. The dog is pissing me off! I can't believe my parents are making me watch 'em every Friday, in my OWN HOUSE!

Squit: Because it stares at ya while you masturbate?

Pinky: Exactly.

Wakko: How long have you had him now?

Pinky: About 18 years.

Wakko: Has he always done it?

Pinky: No, of course not! I wasn't jerking off a lot when I was 11, was I?

Wakko: I thought you got laid when you was 10? With a hot babysitter.

Pinky; Well, duh. Yeah, I did, Wak. That's why I wasn't jerking off so much. Something must have started him off. I think he might have chewed on a tissue under my bed and now he's got a nasty taste for it.

Squit: (sarcastically but disgusted) Jesus, that's some acquired taste, dry Kleenex and your ejaculate.

Wakko: Here y'are, P.

Pinky: Yo.

(Wakko throws the toast onto Squit's table.)

Squit: Watch where y'all throwing shit, god!

(Squit cleans the mess and turns off the TV.)

Pinky: I tell ya what will be throwing shit, yo sista's tits. I bet Fergus is covering 'em in spooge right now.

Squit: Can we not talk about this?

Pinky: Throw me da booze, Wak.

(Wakko was literally about to throw a bottle of beer to Pinky but Squit stopped him.)

Squit: No-one is throwing anything. If you want a drink, then pour yourself a glass. The glasses are in the higher cabinet.

Pinky: God, it's like staying at The Ritz.

(Pinky stands up and looks for the glasses in the higher cabinet.)

Squit: Well, it's famous for its "no throwing booze or toast" policy.

Pinky: You lied to me! There's no fuckin' glasses in there!

Squit: (getting frustrated) Try the dishwasher.

(Pinky moans as he pulls out Squit's dishwasher but all the glasses broke because of Pinky's stupid and careless mistakes.)

Squit: Oh, for christ's sake! (Squit forcefully slams the dishwasher back in while Pinky flinches) That's it, we're out!

Wakko: Out where?

Squit: I don't care! Out! Out of here!

Pinky: Look, I'll buy you a new glass if you'd stop being a pussy!

Squit: It's not about the glass. Y'all like a plague of toast-eating locusts.

Pinky: Fine, we'll go out. Wak, I think it's time we took Squit on a pussy patrol.

Squit: No thanks! What's next, a ghetto invasion?!

(The next scene changes to Squit, Pinky and Wakko chanting "OOOHHHHH!" and laughing while Pinky's driving in his Lambo.)

Squit: Wow, to be honest, this is RAD!

Pinky: You said it my friend, oh by the way, I'm provisional.

Squit: Hell yea...wait, WHAT?!

Pinky: Yeah, I'm provisional for 2 weeks.

Wakko: Sometimes we hang out at the gas station.

Squit: So all this time you've been driving, it's been illegal? Great!

Pinky: It's fine. If we get pulled ovah, we just say I'm giving 'em a lesson.

Squit: You're not allowed to give lessons till you've been driving for three years.

Pinky: No, you just say disabled, then it's allowed.

Squit: Who's disabled? You or him?

Wakko: One of us. You say it's a mental disablement.

Pinky: Yeah, I do a really good voice.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, well, I look forward to that.

(Wakko saw a squirrel on the road.)

Wakko: Watch that squirrel, dude.

Pinky: Nah, he'll shit himself and jump outta tha way, they always do.

(Pinky was trying to run over a squirrel but the squirrel ran away.)

Squit: Hilarious! You just lost a game of chicken with a rodent.

(The squirrel came back.)

Pinky: He's still there!

Wakko: He's pissing you off, bruh!

Pinky: Yeah, we'll see who's the chicken.

(Pinky went for the squirrel again but missed the second time.)

Squit: Oh, my God, he's jumped outta tha way.

Wakko: He's made you look like a right bitch!

Pinky: (furious) Fuck dat!

(Pinky finally ran over a squirrel to death.)

Pinky: Oh yeah.

Squit: Oh, God.

(All 3 got out of the car to see a dead squirrel.)

Wakko: Oh, no! Why did you do that?

Pinky: Not so clever now, is he?! Now who's tha fucking bitch?!

Squit: I don't think it was trying to make you look like a bitch, Pinky.

Pinky: Fuckin' lil' dead-ass!

Squit: I'll get a spade, we'll bury him.

Pinky: Nah, motherfucka, fuck 'em! (Pinky looked at the dead squirrel really carefully as there were silence and he shortly felt sad about it.) But his eyes look sad tho.

(Squit N/R: Great. So far in Pinky and Wakko's war against Mother Nature, the death toll stood at 52 flowers and one dead-ass squirrel.)

Part 2 - Idiot Invasion

(Squit N/R: With the blood of a defenceless animal on our hands, and on Pinky's wheel arches, we headed back to mine.)

Brain: Hey.

Pesto: Where have y'all assholes been?

Squit: Jesus Christ, y'all scared the shit outta me! How did you get in here?

(Brain points the the open back door.)

Brain: Back door.

(Squit looks at Wakko angrily.)

Wakko: Again, my bad.

Pinky: Son, dafuq are ya wearin'?

Brain: It's a polo shirt and chinos.

Pesto: You look like my cousin when he went for a job interview.

Brain: Oh, is he a golf pro?

Pesto: No, he's got Down's syndrome.

Brain: Look. This is what everyone wears for golf, OK. Can I make some toast, Squit?

Pinky: Pop one in for us, B.

Wakko: I'm just gonna shit outta shit? (Wakko saw the downstairs bathroom) Wow, I didn't know you have a downstairs bathroom. (he runs upstairs)

Squit: Please use the upstairs bathroom. And open a window! (The door rang) Who's that? (Squit opens the door.) Hello.

Delivery Guy: (Holding a box of 20 Foster cans.) This is for Squit Kinos Milf-Kenzie.

Squit: (He takes the box looking dead inside) Thanks. (shuts the door)

(Squit N/R: If this was my dickish friends' way of taking my mind off what Fergus was doing to my sis, it wasn't working.)

Squit: Who's responsible for this?

Pinky: I know, I'm a motherfuckin' genius. Your stupidly left ya platinum card details on a Post-it on ya laptop.

Squit: WHAT?!

Pinky: So it's kinda ya fault.

Squit: NO! That's for emergencies only! Plus, that was for my film project!

Pinky: But it was an emergency, your house is fuckin' boring as hell! Now we can get totally pissed.

Squit: No, I'm getting it refunded. I don't wanna get pissed, I want everything to be the same as it was before. (He is using the laptop to refund the money.)

(Pinky, Brain and Pesto are giggling, looking at Squit mischievously)

Squit: What?!

Pinky: Nothing. We haven't done anything, have we, Brain?

Brain: Nope. We haven't been anywhere near your Facebook page.

Pesto: Indeed.

Squit: (looking concerned/slightly angry) Oh, for christ's sake, what have you done now? (Squit checks his Facebook profile) Oh, you've changed my profile pic to a fat, naked hobo and you've changed my status to, "Squit is fingering his cat". Presumably, you've changed the password too? RIGHT?!

Pesto: Yep, my idea. Do you like the picture? The ballsack's literally big, but other than that, it's definitely you.

(They all laugh, except Squit, who looks pissed off.)

Squit: Seriously, you've gotta tell me the password.

Pesto: Or what?

Squit: Look, if you don't tell me the password, I'm contacting the site administrator and reporting ya!

(There's a short silence, then they all laugh hysterically once again, except for Squit.)

Pinky: Look out, y'all, he gonna call the Facebook police on us!

Brain: Oh no, I don't wanna get sent to Facebook prison!

(They laugh once again and shortly stopped.)

Pesto: Hillarious.

Squit: Please, I'm begging you!

Pinky: OK. You can have tha password if I can stay over.

Squit: I thought it was boring here?

Pinky: It is, but you don't have a perverted dog, and I have certain needs to fulfil.

Squit: Oh, Christ. Fine, you can fuckin' stay. Now, what's the password?

Pesto: I heart...

Squit: I heart… (while typing)

Pesto: ...yo mama's vagina. (laughs)

Squit: (sarcastically) Brilliant. (The password is invalid.) And that ain't even it! Pinky?

Pinky: Real password - Puh and diugh.

Squit: Pricks. (The password is valid.)

(Pinky opened the box to get a can of lager out.)

Squit: (sarcastically but angrily) How nice. So I'm no longer fingering a cat, but now I can't return the lager! Thanks, Pinky!

Pinky: No probs. (Pulls another can out for Brain.) Brain?

Brain: No thanks.

Pinky: Y'sure?

Brain: Eh, what the fuck? (grabs a can.)

(Wakko came back downstairs.)

Wakko: Bad news, toilets blocked.

Squit: Whaddaya mean toilet's blocked?

Wakko: It's blocked.

Squit: So whaddaya mean is, you've blocked the toilet?

Wakko: Maybe. I dunno. I'm not a plumber.

Brain: Ugh! Oh, I can smell it from here.

Wakko: Yeah. Tell me about it, it's really bad. Like the leftovers from the pizza party all in one go.

Squit: Oh, God.

Wakko: So, as you'd expect, not a clean break, like at all. And I ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use a dry towel. (Takes a bite out out his toast.)

Squit: Oh, for christ sake! Well, I'm sorry, but from now on, all bathrooms are now outta bounds to guests.

Pinky: (looking upset) Awww...what?!

Brain: Hang on, what if I need to go as well?

Wakko: You could use the garden.

Brain: I'm not a dog, Wak.

Squit: (stands up) OK, I'd assumed it was been given, but I'll make it clear now, just in case: No-one shits in my fuckin' back garden! (leaves)

Pinky: (pondered) That's it.

Wakko: What?

Pinky: I'll tell my dad that Benji took a shit in ma house.

Wakko: (confused) Did he?

Pinky: No, but if I say he did, we'll have to ban him from entering my home, as I can jerk off freely without 'em judging me and we'll all live happily ever after. The end.

Wakko: (still confused) Your dad?

Pinky: No, the dog!

(Wakko still looks confused and takes a bite out of his toast.)

(Squit N/R: I don't know what they had for the pizza party around Wakko's house, but it smelt like pepperoni and moldy cheese.)

Squit: (he came back downstairs after checking the bathroom) Well, he's right, it's definitely blocked. (Squit heard the others laughing from his back garden as he went out to see.) What's going on?

Wakko: Watch this.

(Wakko whacks the flowers as they laugh while Squit had his mouth agape.)

Squit: What the fuck are you doing?!

Pinky: This golf bat is fuckin' perfect, it's exactly what we've been looking for this whole time.

(Wakko whacks them again as they laugh.)

Squit: (getting furious) Sorry, was that not clear? STOP FUCKIN' VANDALISING MY GARDEN!

Brain: Oh, come on, Squit, I thought that at first, but have a go, it's fun.

Squit: Not for me, it's not.

Pesto: Oh, quit your whinin'! They're only daffodils. Fuckin' lil' show-offs. "Ooh, look at me, I'm out first, I'm all yellow and SHIT!"

Squit: Y'all fuckin' insane?!

Brain: Just have a go, it's fun. They go miles.

Squit: No! What are ya gonna do next? Tag up my bedroom? Piss through my mailbox? Do a "chipotle" in my underwear?!

Wakko: Wait, really?

Squit: NO! That's it, come on, we're going out again. Come on!

(They all leave Squit's backyard.)

(Squit N/R: Babysitting these four was exhausting, so I did what all good babysitters do: Hit the booze and let them get on with their lives.)

THE FINAL PART: THAT MIDGET-ASS PIECE OF SHIT!

(All 5 are walking down the neighbourhood in L.A in during midnight.)

Brain: Oh, Christ, I've gotta sober up! (throws away an empty lager can) What am I gonna tell my dad?

Pinky: To leave yo mama. She's a dog. (laughs)

Brain: (punches Pinky in the arm.) Fuck off.

Pinky: Oh yes. (He saw the flowers from another garden of a man's house.) Nice!

Wakko: I thought we did all these the other night?

Pinky: Yeah 'coz they grow back every day, don't they?

Squit: Or the sad rich man has replanted them at some effort and cost.

Wakko: They're in the same place. They must have grown back.

Squit: Someone's replanted them, Wakko.

Wakko: I doubt it.

Pinky: They're flowers! They grow. That's what they do. That's why nobody minds us smashing them up.

Brain: Wait, you know a lot about gardening?

Pinky: Of course! My dad gave Delia Smith a handjob 15 years ago. Plus, this is public ground, so we can do what we like.

Squit: Uhhh...no, you can't. This is someone's front garden.

Pesto: Well, where's the fence, smartass?

Brain: Gimme the golf bat, I'm going first. (Grabs a golf bag from Pinky.)

Squit: That ain't right. You shouldn't be doing this.

Pesto: (hit Squit on the head) Oh, shut up for once.

Wakko: No-one cares, Squit, everyone does it.

Squit: By the way, they definitely don't.

Pinky: In your whole life, have ya ever just done something because it was fuckin' dope?

(Brain whacks the flowers as they were laughing, except for Squit.)

Squit: Look at ya, hanging around the estate, drinking, smashing up people's gardens. You're just a teenage pregnancy away from an ASBO.

Pinky: Well, sorry, Neighbourhood Watch!

(Brain whacks them again as they were still laughing.)

Brain: Oh, come on, Squit, it's dope. See?

Squit: If my sister was in this, what would she do?

Pinky: I know what would she do.

Squit: Do ya?

Pinky: Yep. "Ooh, Fergus, ooh, Fergus, fuck me harder, in the mouth. Now quickly, get it in my fuckin' ass, Fergus."

(they all laugh again)

Squit: Fine, gimme the stupid bat. (Grabs the golf bat from Brain as he is ready to whack.) But, ya own me big time for this.

(Squit whacks the flowers for the first time as the others are chanting "OOOOOHHHHH!")

Squit: (smiling) Okay! To be fair, that was dope.

Pesto: My go.

Squit: No, one more. (He whacks them again as the others are laughing.) Okay, I changed my mind, THIS IS DOPE! LET'S DO IT AGAIN! (as he was about to do it again until...)

Man (from the bedroom window) HEY! Stay there, or I'm calling the fuckin' cops!

Squit: Fuck! Run!

(They are all running away.)

Pinky: Fuck off, you midget-ass piece of shit! (He threw an empty can towards the man's garden.)

Squit: Well, that's not helping! Is it?!

(Squit N/R: So I had become what I hated, but thanks to the beauty of alcohol, I couldn't care less.)

(Back at Squit's house, they were having pizza while "Ace Of Base's The Sign" was playing on the boombox.)

Wakko: Here, what do you ponder this one would do to a daffodil then, B?

Brain: I pondered it would smash the fuck out of it, Wak.

Wakko: Nice! I might have to borrow it and head over to that asshole's place - when the flowers have grown back.

Squit: Oh, come on, Wak. Give the midget-ass piece of shit one day off.

Pinky: Yeah, or he'll "call the fuckin' cops"!

Squit: That was fuckin' amazing! I mean, did he think for one second that would scare me? Fucking daff-loving idiot! Such an asshole.

Wakko: Yeah, what a dipshit!

Pinky: (He is looking around Squit's cutlery in the mini cabinet.) Yes! Found it! (He pulls out a rolling pin.) Squit's sister's vibrator.

Brain: Uhhh...Pinky, that's a rolling pin.

Pinky: (He sniffs it.) It's still got dat puh smell!

Squit: It's still a rolling pin.

Pinky: Whatever! (throws an empty can on the floor) I've got some unfinished business to attend to anyway, business pulling my diugh with no dogs around!

Squit: Not in my bed!

Pinky: No, of course not.

Squit: Phew. Well, that's something.

Pinky: 'Coz Wakko and Pesto are gonna be jerking off in there.

Squit: (looking unimpressed/sarcastically) Well, what a surprise.

Pesto: (holding a pink thong) Found these in the laundry basket. Oh, yes, they've still got this lovely assy smell.

(Pinky, Pesto and Wakko ran upstairs.)

Brain; Game of shots for the loser?

Squit: What about your golf?

Brain: I'm a natural, everyone says it. A couple more won't make any difference.

Squit: The drink-driver's game. Nice!

(The next morning, Squit and Brain were lying on the couch as they woke up.)

(Squit N/R: The next morning, we were woken by a terrible banging. Either Pinky was having the most aggressive, dopiest jerking off ever, or something even more worrying was happening.)

Squit: Dafuq is that noise?

Brain: Fuck, my head is killing me. What's that fuckin' noise?

Squit: I think someone's at the front door.

Brain: It's pretty early, isn't it?

Squit: Well, it doesn't seem early to me.

Brain: What do ya mean? (He checks the time on his watch as he freaks out and falls off the couch.) FUCK! It's fucking 9:40! I should of been getting ready for golf 40 minutes ago! (He puts on his sneakers and grabs the keys.) I really need to go before it's too late!

Squit: Well, if I were you, my friend, I wouldn't leave just yet.

Brain: What do you mean? I'm already gonna be late!

Squit: Shall we see who's trying to smash the door down before you head out? Just hold on. (He runs to the other room.)

(silence)

Squit: (from the other room) GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Brain: Squit, are you okay, what's wrong?! (He runs to the other room where Squit is.)

Squit: (checking through the window looking scared) Uh oh! Uh oh!

Brain: What happened?

Squit: (scared) Heh heh heh. Uhhh...Brain. Do you remember the man whose garden we destroyed?

Brain: What, that midget-ass piece of shit?

Squit: Yes, except he's not that small, he looks fucking hard!

Brain: (gasp) Oh no. You don't mean it's F...f...f...f…?

Squit: Yep, it's Fowlmouth.

Brain: (scared) Oh fuck, we're dead.

(Fowlmouth is still smashing the door looking pissed.)

Fowlmouth: (outside of the window) Come out, come out, whoever you are! (Holding a baseball bat) 'Coz my bat says "I'm about ta (BANG) ...FUCK…(BANG)...YOU…(BANG)...UP"!

Brain: I've gotta get to golf right now, I've got 2 missed calls, my dad is so gonna be pissed off at me.

(Fowlmouth was about to look for them through the window.)

Squit: Fuck! Hide!

(They hide on the floor)

(silence)

Brain: Is he gone?

(Fowlmouth went for the back door.)

Squit: Shit! He's gonna try the back door.

Brain: So?

Squit: What if Wakko's left it open again?

Brain: Oh, shit!

(Squit and Brain crawled quietly to the kitchen to see Pesto and Wakko eating leftover pizza.)

Wakko: Uhhh...Brain, shouldn't you be at golf by now? It is getting late.

Squit: Wakko, the back door!

Wakko: No worries, I locked it this time.

Squit: Guys, get down!

Pesto: Why?

Squit: Trouble!

Pesto: Oh, yeah. Who's gonna stop me?!

(Fowlmouth saw Pesto and Wakko from the kitchen window.)

Fowlmouth: HEY!

(silence)

(Pesto and Wakko turned to Fowlmouth from the window slowly as they hid down the floor.)

Squit: (sarcastically) Yep, good job, Pesto, that should have fooled him.

Pesto: Shit, is that Fowlmouth!?

Brain: (checking his phone) Shit, another missed call from my dad! What are we gonna do?

Fowlmouth: (from the window) I know you're in there!

Wakko: Let's go back in the living room.

Squit: How's that gonna help?

Pesto: We just farted in here.

(Brain and Squit look disgusted, then they were crawling back to the living room.)

Brain: Oh, God, Wakko, I'm in its wake! It's like you're carrying it in your pants!

(Pinky came downstairs)

Pinky: Dafuq is dat noise, motherfuckas?!

Wakko: We're under attack from the midget-ass piece of shit.

Pinky: What?!

Squit: He's basically correct. We're being threatened by Fowlmouth.

Pinky: Wait...FOWLMOUTH?!

Fowlmouth: (from outside) Come out here like a man, bitch!

Pinky: Does he know I'm here also?

Squit: I don't see how he could.

Pinky: Good, As a matter of fact, I'm going back to bed. (Pinky ran back upstairs.)

Dr. Springett: (from outside) Yoo-hoo! I heard a banging.

(Squit crawls to the front door as Dr. Springett was about to open it and slams the door shut with his foot which it hits Dr. Springett's face, Squit crawls back to the living room.)

Squit: Fucking Dr. Springett!

(Meanwhile in the living room, all 4 were hiding on the floor.)

Fowlmouth: I know you're in there, I saw da bitch! (bangs the window) Come out and do some vandalism now, goddamnit!

Squit: See? I told ya it was vandalism.

Brain: Oh, my God, my dad's gonna kill me if he finds out about this.

Squit: I think this guy might kill you first because he already found OUT!

Fowlmouth: I know who ya are!

Brain: Wait, he knows who ya are!?

Pesto: Shit, he knows who ya are.

Wakko: (teasing) Everyone knows who ya are!

Squit: (annoyed) Not now, Wak.

Wakko: Ha.

Fowlmouth: I know you're in there, I can see your feet!

(Wakko's legs are fully stretched.)

Squit: WAK!

Wakko: (folds his legs) Sorry, I have pins and needles.

Brain: (begs) Please, Squit, say something to him. See if he'll just let me out.

Squit: Are ya fuckin' insane? Listen to him.

Brain: Please, I'm begging you, for my dad. This golf thing is massive for him.

Wakko: C'mon, what's the worst he could do?

Squit: (sarcastically) Well, l dunno. Hit me really hard?! Put me to fuckin' sleep?!

(Pesto grabs Squit by the sweater furiously, threatening him.)

Pesto: If ya don't fix this right this very second, IMMA PUT YA TO FUCKIN' SLEEP!

Fowlmouth: There's an old lady with a broken nose out here!

Squit: God! Fine.

(Squit stands up to face Fowlmouth through the window.)

Squit: Now, sir.

Fowlmouth: Come out, ya pussy!

Squit: I think we should all take a breath, try and calm down.

Fowlmouth: You're telling me to calm down? Calm down?! I'll smash the shit outta your garden and see how ya fuckin' like it!

Squit: OK, I've got a really bad hangover, so if you aren't willing to have a sensible conversation, I'm gonna shut the curtains.

Fowlmouth: Ya takin' a moral fuckin' high ground?! Is that what ya doing?!

Squit: (grabs the curtains and closing them slowly.) OK, I'm gonna close these now.

Fowlmouth: You think that's gonna stop me?

Squit: I'm closing them now.

Fowlmouth: You think I give a fuck?

Squit: About to close!

Fowlmouth: Y'all bunch of fucking vandals! I'd call the cops...

Squit: Closing…

Fowlmouth: ...but I wanna deal with you myself...

Squit: ...closing…

Fowlmouth: ...by KICKIN' YA ASS!

Squit: ...and quarter-way there, close. (He shuts the curtains to avoid seeing Fowlmouth from the window as Brain, Wakko and Pesto stands up.)

Pesto: He's gone.

Wakko: Good job.

Brain: (sarcastically) That's your solution?

Squit: (frustrated) Well, do you have a better idea or what?

Brain: Oh, God. Oh, God, my dad is never, ever gonna forgive me.

Wakko: Would ya like some more pizza?

Squit: Uhhh...sure. Don't see why not.

(Pinky came to the living room, looking upset.)

Pesto: Y'Okay?

Pinky: Okay? Motherfucka, do I look "okay" to you? Just got a text from my dad. He's had Benji put down. Said once they start shitting indoors, it's basically the end, anyway. Kindest thing to do. (sniff) What have I done? (sniff) I'll never jerk off again! (Pinky lied down on the couch and cries into tears.)

Pesto: (hugs Pinky and comforts him) Come on, bro, you will. You will.

(police siren)

Brain: That'll probably be the police.

Squit: Yeah, you're right.

(Squit checks through the window again to see the cops but notices his sister is there as well.)

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake.

Brain: Is it them?

Squit: Yep, but It's even worse. It's my sis.

(Squit N/R: It had been an interesting few days. I'd squashed a harmless rodent, found out that the toliet's clogged, and seen evidence that Pinky, Pesto and Wakko were surprisingly creative with Fowlmouth's property. The only good news was that, having spent the weekend being fucked by a ginger stranger, my sis was dumped immediately, because, and I quote, "He couldn't be dealing with sibling rivalry." Ha. Asshole.)

Brain: Should we start panicking now?

Squit: Yep, good idea.

THE END!

Hope you liked episode 2 of my fanfic series. See ya. Thx for reading.

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

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