#ONCE.

[bestmutt]

btw no I didn't forget, here's my tail. (the angle is weird but I was not asking anyone to take it for me hfdsghfsdh)

[borom1r]

ik we all love the “Sean Bean climbing a mountain to avoid riding in a helicopter” bit but equally important I think is “Sean Bean never getting the hang of the canoes and needing to be towed back to the right area multiple times bc he just kept fucking getting lost on the river”

[ask-papa-terzo]

Papa, you are adorable, and I just wanna pick you up and put you in my pocket and keep you safe

I am a fifty six year old Satanic Pope.

[raggstorice]

Ok so. I'm working on Flash Headcanons for Gender but... I don't know that many genders. So in the meantime...

Incorrect Quotes Part: 1

(using the Incorrect Quotes generator)

Heartslabyul

(ft. Che'nya and MC)

Riddle: What does 'take out' mean?

Trey: Food.

Deuce: Dating

Cater: Murder

Ace: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(At 3am)

Riddle, after drinking too much coffee: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Ace: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Deuce: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Cater: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Ace: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Deuce: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Cater: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Trey, annoyed: You are disappointments

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle: Are any of you d-

Cater: Depressed?

Trey: Drained?

Deuce: Dumb?

Ace: Disliked?

Riddle: -done with Professor Crewel's homework... what is wrong with you people...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(During winter break Riddle attempts to talk to his mother. It doesn't go well.)

Riddle: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Deuce: Several traffic violations.

Ace: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Cater: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Trey: Also, that’s not our car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trey: Nothing in life is free.

Deuce: Love is free!

Cater: Adventure is free.

Riddle: Knowledge is free.

Ace: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

(Trey was not amused)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trey, talking about Che'nya: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Cater: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Riddle: In our pantry!

Trey: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Cater: Is your friend here?

Trey, motioning to Che'nya's floating head: Yeah.

Ace, to Che'nya: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(

Deuce: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in... about a few months- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Deuce, to Ace and MC: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN ?!

Deuce: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Deuce, to Ace and Mc: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Ace: OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT-

MC: THE PRESTIGE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deuce: I’m an idiot.

Ace:

Riddle:

Cater:

Trey:

MC:

Deuce:

Ace: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ace: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Riddle: Have everyone stand.

Deuce: Bring three more chairs!

Cater: The most important ones can sit down.

Trey, quietly: Kill three.

Everyone: ... :0

(unhinged Trey gives me fuel)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Trey: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Deuce: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Cater: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Ace: My moral code, is that you?

Riddle:

Riddle: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my father gave me but do you guys need a hug?

(Dad Rosehearts is a good father agenda.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle: What did you guys get in your yearbook? I got 'most likely to succeed'

Ace, confused: 'Prettiest Smile'

Cater, totally not bitter: 'Nicest Personality'

Deuce, also bitter: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Trey: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trey: What’s something you guys are better than Riddle at?

Deuce: Mario Kart.

Cater: Yeah, video games.

Ace: Emotional vulnerability.

(That's a lie Ace. No one in NRC is good at that.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle, trying his best: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Cater: To the town?

Riddle: Yeah, no matter what!

Trey: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Riddle: I... I don't know!

Ace: Oh come off it, be serious!

Riddle: I am serious!

Ace: You're insane!

Deuce: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Riddle: What???

Deuce: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Ace, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Ace: Looking right because you left

Deuce: Looking up cause you let me down

Cater: Looking down cause you fucked up

Trey, just trying to bake/ confused on how they got Riddle into this: What is wrong with you guys

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MC: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Deuce will and will not eat.

Ace: Grass? Yes!

Cater: Moss? Yes!!

MC: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Cater: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Ace: Worms? Sometimes!

MC: Rocks? Usually nah.

Ace: Twigs? Usually!

Cater: Riddle's cooking? Inconclusive...

Trey: How did you… test this?

Ace: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Trey: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Riddle: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trey, trying to convince Riddle to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Ace: And strict!

Deuce: And grumpy!

Ace: And oblivious to reality!

MC, bitter from Riddle insulting them in chapter one: And a fucking ASSHOLE.

Trey:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deuce: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Ace: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Riddle: Three of us saw it, Ace. How do you explain that?

Ace: points at Trey Sleep deprivation. points at MC Paranoia. points at Cater Delusional personality disorder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Playing one of those card games like cards against humanity)

Riddle, reading off the card: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Ace: Rude.

Deuce: That’s fair.

Cater: Not again.

Trey: Are you going to want this back?

Riddle:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riddle: Where's Ace, Deuce, and Cater?

Trey: They're playing hide and seek.

Riddle: Where?

Trey: I don't think you get how this game works.

(Riddle with his lack of childhood)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Authors Note: Hope you enjoy this while I figure out both their gender and my own...)

[graviconscientia]

Oh, you think you're sooooo funny. Ceilings tall enough. You have clearance in my hive, don't you?

[team-118]

👁👄👁

[quiet-admirer]

I think that people should be capped at using the word "shucking" when describing taking off clothes one single time in their oeuvre

[therealslimstrider]

[cyanityy]

Bryce Montrose genuinely looks like he could be part of the Life is Strange cast

[minophus]

"Relax, Angel." the King of Greed said relaxedly.

[pbpsbff]

the only scene in the walking dead that i physically cannot watch is noah’s death. like holy fuck something about it just makes me feel sick

[straightyuri]

I think I mentioned it b4 but santiago is kind of max but not really. like. they share the same base concept of being dragon princes (max has moved on from this but it's still a part of him)

[tangerine-soccer]

Neymar is my second favorite player in football history.

I never thought I would have to start watching the Arab football league... #SAD

[ghostlygravekeeper]

Never have I ever accidentally given someone a heart attack?

✅