#OMW: DickZee

[jasonangrytodd]

I wrote the introduction to my self-indulgent fic. If you read, please read it listening to this. Thank you.

tw; sad stuff, death, sacrifice, depression, mention of suicide

-

The first thing she sees is a familiar pattern. It slowly dances to a melody, a rhythm that she can’t hear yet, but recognizes from the heart. The ceiling is illuminated by a weak shaking halo that grows and shrinks again and again. 

She knows what that is. Of course she does.

Slowly, everything reconnects one by one back to her and she’s allowed to finally hear it. A soft whimpering, someone weeping so close to her. It all sounds familiar but at the same time, so new to her.

She turns on her side and finds him there, lying down as he cries defeated. She stares at him for a long while with a heavy heart.

The picture isn’t pretty. Is not because he’s a mess and looks so vulnerable and broken, no, it’s not that. It’s just that this isn’t what she wanted for him at all. She can feel a lump in her throat again, like she used to when she was alive.

“It’s okay, Richard, it’ll be okay.” She whispers as she gently places her hand on top of his fist. She doesn’t want to scare him, but she forgets that Dick has gotten used to so many things since he met her. Everything supernatural is the norm for him now. And he is alright with it.

He looks up at her, his eyes swollen and red before he starts crying once again.

Her heart shrinks but she doesn’t stop him. Crying has never been something to be ashamed of. Instead, she brushes his hair softly, keeping him company, just as the summoned spirit she is now.

The ceiling continues to dance as time passes. It gives a show of muted colors and fragile geometry, only reflecting Dick’s feelings and sounds.

Time has never affected her and now that she doesn’t belong to anything, she isn’t concerned about it either. She could be here until Dick is ready to leave this world and it would be alright.

“I can’t,” his voice once full of life and energy was a memory now. “I can’t do it, Zee.”

She looks at him with compassion because there’s nothing wrong with not being able to carry something so heavy. People are different, what could have been so easy for her, could cost Dick’s mental health. People were never meant to compare each other after all. Zatanna kisses the top of his head with all the love she has for him.

“I know you told me to try,” there’s a big pause but she doesn’t rush him. “But I just can’t keep doing this. I’m so sorry.” He lowered his head in a quiet sob.

//

There are two sets of eyes observing him as he works hard on a symbol. A part of him doubts all this. What is he doing? What is he trying to achieve? He is not a witch, he might kill the child instead of saving it! 

But that same voice that makes him doubt quiets down immediately when the mansion groans and shakes gently. They are running out of time.

From the corner of his eye he can see him and Dick takes a deep breath and he continues working on the symbols. He has to be strong and not break in front of the child. He doesn’t want to show him how he’s an emotional mess and he’s about to give up. He doesn’t want his own child to leave with an awful memory of him.

“I’m scared.” It’s a very quiet voice that almost makes Dick doubt he actually heard it, but he then sees the kid wrap his arms tightly around his peach colored plush bunny.

“It’s alright, baby. It will be tough, but remember we love you. We will always love you.” Zatanna kneels in front of him and cups his face. He looks so scared.

Her eyes lower to his bunny and she smiles again. “While daddy works on the door, let me give you a friend. It will take care of you and remind you every day how important you are for us.”

//

He should’ve known. He should have seen it coming.

Things can’t ever be easy.

The tiny hands of his child cling to him desperately as if this depended on his own life. “Daddy, please! No!”

“Daddy is very proud of you, my son.” He doesn’t care anymore. A few tears roll down his throat as he pressed his forehead against his child’s. “I love you, but you can’t stay. You can’t stay here with me.”

“Daddy!” He cries, and sobs, and pleads.

“I love you, I love you very much. Remember that.” He kisses his son’s forehead and pushes him to the light.

The universe is broken.

Darkness is consuming all of it and he can’t stop it. Zatanna is gone. The Justice League were the first ones to get devoured. And it all broke Dick completely without realizing and while he wanted to end this, end himself sooner to be able to be with Zatanna again, he knew he couldn’t do that to their child. He was so young and deserved so much better.

He didn’t think it was going to be so hard for him. His heart aches for his child but he knows he wouldn’t be able to do much more for him.

With a blooded hand, he stains the symbols on the floor and throws away the candles that are near, closing the portal. The mansion screeches with the weight of unknown creatures that forces themselves in.

Zatanna is watching him with a worried face.

“Thank you.” Dick smiles. He doesn’t look so sad. “Thank you for distracting them. We did it, Zee. He’s gone… And safe.”

The wood snaps before he sees it standing in front of Him. He knows this is his end and he is alright with it.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” He smiles again and before he closes his eyes one last time, he feels her soft hand, holding him tight.

It will be alright.