#OK that makes 10€ or u give me ur pirate. Good deal

[macomico]

-1000. u are baby (and ilyyyy county boyy)

now that's just RUDE..... - 2k at LEAST

[thugnan]

Secret of the Scarlet Hand (PC 2002)

Story: 4/10

Characters: 3/10

Puzzles: 3/10

Chores: 4/10

Final Rating: 5/10

I’ve only played this one once and I honestly can’t remember parts of it or the plot. I love that this was the first appearance of Soony Joon, but other than that all the characters fell flat for me. This one took the educational aspects of Treasure in a Royal Tower and multiplied them by 100, in a bad way. This game played more like a Broderbund game, the puzzles were obnoxious and the play through was erratic (not as linear as its predecessors). Some of the chores involved bouncing back and forth a bunch (like the quizzes). I don’t remember there being any glitches though.  

Plot (spoilers obviously)

Thug Nan gets an internship at Beech Hill, a museum hosting a super big exhibit on the Maya. From the get go you get the impression that maybe this museum can’t afford to do this? Thug Nan is like “wait a minute this internship is paid right?” 

They hand you a list of chores and tell you to get on it. They’re preparing for the exhibition of a giant rock monolith. While doing these chores you meet:

Joanna: Your boss as the museum’s curator. She appears a little young to be running the place and slightly desperate to get income into the museum. Low key she cute tho.

Henrik Vander Hoop: He’s fancy and has an accent. He’s a researcher and knows things about glyphs. Not v social for the most part. 

Ale-ale-jandro: I don’t think I was supposed to like this guy tbh, judging from the responses Nancy had for some of his SJW rants, but yo he’s not wrong. I might be biased as we are basically the same person tho. He works with the consulate and appears to have a close relationship with the museum. He hates Johana and Taylor because they’re pirates. 

Taylor Sinclair: I thought he was a lawyer for some reason? He’s an art dealer, and tbh I’m suspicious of him immediately. I think it’s the mustache. Idk what it is about it but I don’t like it. He calls you into his office because he’s concerned that someone is gonna steal from Beech Hill, which heightens my suspicion of him but whatever. 

As we continue to do errands, we get more of a feel for the museum’s financial situation. When you try to order supplies, the distributor tells you that he sent you to collections and to gtfo.

The next morning, you’re in your office when the alarm goes off, someone has stolen a jade relic of King Pacal’s. The cops come and go, you ask Joanna about it and she gives you the a-ok to snoop up in there. She appears to care more about collecting that insurance monies. Suspicious but ok. 

Henrik is apparently also nowhere to be seen? Suspicious but ok. 

Alejandro and Taylor subtly mention that they were both in the building at the time of the robbery. Idk why either of them would incriminate themselves like that? Suspicious but ok. 

You get a call from Franklin Rose, your dad’s friend that hooked you up with the internship. He’s like legally speaking I need u to investigate this. So Thug Nan is like “aw yee, I’ma do it because you told me to, and not because suspicious Taylor told me to.” 

The robbers left a calling card, because you know, all the smart robbers do that right? Also idk how the cops dropped the ball on this one because the culprit’s calling card is A HAND PRINT. I’da been running the show I would just hand printed everyone in the building, and called it a day. 

So you gotta do some more tedious chores, which you only are able to pull of because the wack who had your internship before you left a bunch of drawings as hints. Soony Joon, I’ma tell u now that I think you’re a mad lad, but also thank you for ur service. 

You get in contact with some other folks that were also struck by the thieves who hit Beech Hill. They send you some more clues. 

THEN HENRIK IS YEETED DOWN THE STAIRS (seriously, what is the deal with this series and stair yeeting?) I’m going to say now that the stairs that Henrik fell down were a lot taller than those of El Paso High School, I’m just saying, idk how Henrik didn’t die but ok. 

Homeboy has amnesia. Johana was booted out of the building for mismanaging the museum and being overall suspicious. You and I know what this means right? Time to trespass go thru everyone’s shit. 

Johana was not happy about being booted out, and begs you to prove that she didn’t steal the pacal relic so the cops will let her go and the board will let her back into the building. I don’t really want to do that but I guess.

I made zero effort to talk Franklin into letting her back in whoops 8D. But she can’t say I didn’t call him. 

Meanwhile Henrik’s nurse/therapist hits you up like “yo he kept saying ur name in his sleep so we think it’s a good idea for you to visit. You can help him get his memory back” Yeah? Well remember that I said that he wasn’t v social? I legit know NOTHING about him, especially since his desk is all locked up. Idk why he was saying my name in his delirium but I hope that he knows that I am completely loyal to Frank Hardy  Ned, and if I were to cheat on him it woulda been with my sweet Maddie in Stay Tuned for Danger. I guess I don’t blame Henrik tho, erryone wants a piece of this Thug Nan. What can I say? I live dangerously. (Altho for once I haven’t been attempted murdered) 

While trying to jog Henrik’s memory you find out:

Henrik probably maybe stole the Pacal, but it sounds like he had Taylor logic. He stole it so the real thieves wouldn’t steal it?

He’s in cahoots with smugglers

Alejandro called the cops on Johana, and needs Thug Nan to “borrow” some papers from her. I don’t like the way he went about it but I respect the balls on this man. 

You gotta find like 5 other relics to open the dumb monolith… great. I still don't know why would want to?

Pacal (the real dood not the relic) built the monolith to suffocate a scribe/reporter that was too nosy for her own good. My dood was harsh.

Thug Nan finds the Pacal because well… she had to. And slowly but surely it begins to come together. Tbh the plot to this game was so convoluted, that I wouldn’t have figured out what I had to do without calling Frank and Joe every other second. 

Somehow I gather all the relics I needed to open the damn box, and you know I’m starting to think. If this Pacal guy didn’t want this scribe lady to ever be found why the eff would he make a key to the tomb in the first place? Whatever. I open the box and T A Y L O R  S I N C L A I R LOCKS ME IN THERE WITH A THOUSAND YEAR OLD ROTTING CORPSE.  THIS MAN IS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF THUG NAN. 

Anyway, getting out of there was not that hard, my girl the scribe shoulda made more of an effort, but hey she didn’t have a handy dandy glowstick like moi. When I got out Johana, Alejandro, and a recovered Henry were on the other side waiting? Instead of helping me? They were v creepily like “YOU DID IT NANCY WE KNEW YOU WOULD.” Except they used Dr. Seuss rhymes to tell me this which only made it creepier. Also they knew it was Sinclair without me telling them? Which is like cool but WhY DiDnT U StOp hIm. They play it off as “well he stole the fake stuff” THEY LITERALLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT.  

Um, the end?

They left a couple of plot holes unresolved I think? Like Henrik having connections with smugglers. Why did he steal the pacal in the first place? What did he know about Taylor? Who pushed him off the pyramid? Or did he really fall? Alejandro seemed to be peachy with Beech Hill after he found out that the Pacal’s papers were legit? And Johana never asked me about the missing papers, she was also let off with a warning? Okie dokes. 

[v13yang]

dabs aggressively HENLO children !! i’m jin ( s/her, gmt+8, local Mess ) and ur watching disney channel ,,, JRGSHFJ and this is my baby boy zhao junyang aka yang!! also listen when jae told me abt space pirates rp i was 10/10 sold bless u :^) i’ve already been plotting with some of u but for the rest i have zero nil nada pages or plots except for yang’s bio here so uh like this to plot and we can brainstorm some things ?? ok stuff about junyang under the cut!!!

PERSONA

ur first impression of him was probably Intimidating

has serious trust / daddy issues, trusts about 0.5 of the ppl on the ship

Loud but only about the unimportant things

but on the other hand about the things that matter he’s just 💀🔪🔪

he’s getting better at opening up to the rest of the vanta crew, but still isn’t the most talkative

also not the best with words rip

strongest assets are his stealth and skillz, but defo not anything like empathy or cooperation bye

actually is super smart and has a rlly good memory, memorizes items from their color sequences and can identify them easily

can speak like four languages bc he taught himself lmao

is actually a secret bookworm he LOVES reading he thinks it’s fascinating

doesn’t rly like talking abt his synesthesia but he adores it bc it’s Part of who he is

doesn’t know how to deal if he gets hurt, only knows how to Fight

tHUs bottles everything inside of him and never tells anyone stuff

basically he’s absolute SHIT at emotions, he’s probably not the best person to go to if you’re looking for touchy feely stuff

he only knows how to deal w things physically so if he’s sad he’ll just kick u in the dick

when he first got onto vanta he literally talked to No One … he was a mystery for like the first year

hoshi who vc: enIGMATIC

so it rly takes a pretty long time for him to warm up to people, u gotta Work for it

i don’t think he’d ever wholeheartedly trust anyone for the rest or his life?????

and he’s still rly tryna grasp the concept of happiness rip

spends most of his time a) training, b) in the weaponry or c) his room

looks tough but is actually soft and sad if u ever get to see that side of him

KNOWS HOW TO HAVE FUN it’s just that he’s…… angry and pissy 9/10 of the time

vvvv short tempered and gets offended rly easily

also is very strongly opinionated don’t ever… fight him

award for the best rbf ever goes to zhao junyang

killer fists killer fingers bc they hella long …. 👅💦💦

Fashion Icon

lowkey a hoe but like would he ever get laid ? Nah

carries a weapon w/ him at all times, no exceptions

a drunk junyang is a clingy junyang , entertaining af

also super done and deadpan most of the time

sleep ? who

long ass legs and long ass body but washboard abs and arms and thighs DADDIE

hates everyone and everything, won’t deal with ur bullshit lmao bye

Tiredt™

would rather die than cry in front of anyone

BASICALLY HE’S JUST ACTING TOUGH SO HE WON’T GET HURT PLS LOVE HIM

BACKGROUND

tw death, suicide attempt

ur resident protector general of vanta aka weapons master 😎

from kavasch, his ass suffered a whole lot back home

he’s had synesthesia since birth, only discovered when he was 8

got bullied ostracised hated on bc of it yadda yadda treated like an anomaly

daddy dearest was the only one who loved him since his mom couldn’t be bothered to give a flying fuck lbh

vvvvv poor so junyang took up a job where he had to like steal and kill and shit to earn $$$$

UM ONE DAY dad said he was going away but never said where so yang was like : /

and then like two weeks later his mom came home crying and told him he was DEAD !

lol bitch

turns out she was cheating on her husband w her sugar daddie down the street !! aju nice

so lol, what to do, yang punched her in the face

HE LEGIT LOVED HIS DAD SO MUCH HE WAS THE ONLY ONE HE HAD IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMN UNIVERSE

but well :) his dad :) didn’t love him :) he was ashamed of having a son like him !

ofc yang felt like he had been Betrayed bc he’d been living a lie??? grew rly rly sad and attempted to take his own life

thankfully now he’s way better esp since he was recruited by vanta

basically that’s his whole bg except that i wrote it in 4.4k words

alright kiddos i tried 2 make this entertaining but i’m lame and tired so that’s all ,, i’ll go to all ur im’s soon BUT meanwhile it’s easier to reach me on my rp twt @EUPHORlCA where i scream about minghao and svt and cry about how samuel and jonghyun DIDN’T FUCKING GET INTO THE TOP 11 wanna one is cancelled :^) hMU IF U WANNA PLOT !! peace

[dmsboi]

Copy pastas bitch u mad mf ugly b looking like the little ginger kid from little einstein kill urself btch ill shoot u mf ass meet me irl fuck outta here wicho dorito ass shaped head btch albino gorilla lookin ass mf ill flame u dumb spotty white pizza shaped head lookin elongated ass nose marshmallow man crusty ass mf self right here btch Wow. Okay. OKAY. OKAY. Yabba Dabba FUCK you and YABBA DABBA FUCK your shitty FUCKING memes. You are literally worth nothing to me. If I saw your FUCKING UGLY ASS FACE on the street, I'd take a big loaded shotgun to your mouth, faggot. I have always wanted to murder you, your family, your friends, and your pet goldfish since the day I was born. Brain Blast? How about I fucking blast your faggot ass brain with a shotgun. I want to fucking candy crush your face through a mother fucking wall. You are the reason why babies cry. Fuck your memes. Fuck you. Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. Try fucking saying that to be in REAL life where you aren't surrounded by a precious username and see what happens, weakling. I have guns. Many guns. Guns that I could take to your head and blow it out right now. You hear me? Good. Astounding! You have managed to expend effort creating a non-random string of characters which usually convey meaning, yet your overall comment was ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS! It is as though all of the industries of mankind were operated in reverse, with great will and endeavor being used to convert items of usefulness into worthless bare materials! you are the antithesis of all that is grand and great about mankinds capacity for thought and self-determination. You sir, are the mirror image of a meaningful entity, lower than base matter, lower than oblivion, because unlike the brutish deterministic plasma of the unreasoning cosmos, you CHOSE to be without value or worth. Or in the parlance of thine own ilk: LOL N0 UR GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!11ONE!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!11! hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and waffles, t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy 😉 nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles hi every1 im new… holds up fedora. my name is bob but feel free 2 call me t3h fedora of D0oM!!!!!!! as u can see im very sophisticated and intelligent,…. that y i came to this atheist subreddit so i can meet other smart atheists -.- im 46 years old (i still act like im 10 lol) i like 2 watch jeopardy w/ my grandma (yes ive seen her naked….) we enjoy yelling "suk it trebek" at the screen.. my grandma is smart 2 but she is a jew. so i came here 2 meet new people like me (smart atheists) like they say op is a faggot lol!!!! lol ok guyz anyways plz give me lots of upboats. I LIKE CEREAL!!!!!!!! oops sorry lol i have adhd lol ok toodles!!!!! waffles and luvs, bob hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up rules* my name is skeen but u can call me t3h k1ng 0f /r/ath3ism!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very skeptical!!!! thats why i created, 2 meet random skeptics like me ಠ_ಠ… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!! in fact im an atheist!!!) i like 2 destoy christins w/ tuber (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite past time!!! bcuz its SOOOO rewarding!!!! hes skeptic 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random atheists =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of subjcts here so give me lots of power!!!! LOL UR BANNED JIJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein moderator again again ^_^ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and cheetos, *~t3h K1nG 0f /r/ath3ism~* What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now, lad. My Nana is still a looker, even at eighty. Whenever I bathe her in the driveway, I'm always impressed by her sinewy physique. I'll be like "Nana you're ripped bro" and she'll be like "nothing but clean living and good genes" then I'll be like "clean living? You ain't been sober an entire day since Nixon was still on the teet" and she'll be like "you'd drink too if you had such a shitty family" and I'll be like "maybe if you didn't have so much side wang pop-pop wouldn't have moved to Reno" and she'll be like "he moved to Reno because Schenectady was getting overrun with Mexicans" and I'll be like "Nana that's racist" then she'll say "then why don't you move there." This goes on until I'm done hosing her off, at which point I take her back inside, but her in front of a TV playing Diagnosis: Murder reruns, and give her a box of wine with a straw. Old people need the routine. forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. wWe sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass. @