#OK I will actually cede that CM has to work retail

[demimonde-semigoddess]

Alright, I said strongly worded reblog to follow and I meant it.

Since this is now The Playoffs (and I actually know it), I'm gonna give some respect to the competitor here. The Cabbage Merchant, within one calendar year, traveled from the city of Omashu (off the top of my head, southwestern Earth Kingdom; cabbage cart destroyed 3 times) to the capital (Central/Slightly Northwestern; cabbage cart destroyed once), so a good couple hundred miles. At some point, he also acted as a source for the Ember Island Players on the travels of the Avatar and his group, which means he presumably either was directly interviewed by or exchanged correspondence with a bunch of fire nation propagandists.

PM has him beat on (a bunch of metrics I'm pulling out of my ass, here):

Ratio of listed job requirements to job demands: The Cabbage Merchant's employment hinged around his cart. As such, he should have expected he'd have to maintain it. Replacing/repairing it isn't that far beyond his wheelhouse. PM was a mailwoman. She had to fight an immortal god of space and help raise civilization from the ashes of the post-apocalypse.

Risk to personal life and limb: The Cabbage Merchant was occasionally near a chase/fight/misused mail trolley. He also had to handle the depredations of anyone who felt like accosting him on the road to Ba Sing Se. PM was locked in deadly combat for 3 years, crossed a planet-sized war-zone into enemy territory, and survived in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Distance traveled: See the above two points. PM walked/flew hundreds or thousands of miles under her own power and significant duress. Cabbage Merchant crossed a few hundred at most. Possibly not by foot.

Period of plot relevance/hardship: Cabbage Merchant had a bad year. PM had a bad day that put her in the fucking trenches for a MINIMUM OF FIVE (low-balling the "years in the future but not many" to two).

Acquisition of Revenge: The Cabbage Merchant failed to convince King Bumi to behead the avatar and his friends. PM successfully carried out all of her duties, dismembered the man who (nearly) killed her best friend, pummeled his ass into the dirt so hard he SKIDDED, and then destroyed the magical symbols of monarchy he'd used to attain near-godhood.

The only point of contention that comes to mind in which PM may not have Cabbage Merchant beat is what I'm going to call "Self Determination". One could argue that the Cabbage Merchant had more or less no control over his own fate and repeated cart demolition. Thus, the cleanup (and the denial of vengeance) were all the more bitter for him.

By contrast, PM's listed job was only to deliver parcels, and it was only at the request of a teenage girl (with an attached parcel) that she set off on a planet-spanning (and eventually multiverse-spanning) quest to retrieve said parcel and deliver it to its listed recipient. She could have simply chosen not to do any of this, but it would've been impolite. And she is too good-hearted for that. Still, one could argue that being good-hearted is a choice.

In conclusion: PM worked harder, for longer, and did more with, I would argue, less, than Cabbage Merchant did. She's also a postal worker, and you gotta support the motherfucking

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