#OHGHHHHHHH

[wifelepsy]

screams and sobs

[awesomehoggirl]

every so often i feel like the sick fashion illness overtake me and i know i am about to spend so much fucking money

[theklaapologist]

Ngl ever since I stopped talking about my practice, plans and religious struggles in general I feel like,,,,, so much better uwu

[ohnostalgia]

i just remembered that i can post literally anything i want on tumblr with no regard to if ppl actually care or not so heres some autistic ramblings about league of legends characters

thinking about vayne and graves thinking about “when we’re done here, you wanna help me fight a couple monsters?” ohghhhhhhh thinking about how their relationship was born out of graves’s strange “roguish honor” to respect a tall lady that tried to kill him but then developed into a genuine affection for her as someone he could Deeply empathize with

thinking about how graves can see himself in vayne, like a reflection of what he was like before he made up with tf, just so spiteful and angry and broken and how since he’s bad at processing his emotions he doesnt actually internalize that and is just like omg vayne <3 we’re besties <3 and thats why he tried to hard to Get to her, yknow

and at first vayne really is just putting up with him and all his stupidity, but eventually she grows fond of him too!!!!!!!!!!! the absolute BUDDYness in their fucking voicelines i am insane... “after all this time, I can still knock you down, graves? come on.” JUST. AAAAAAA. in almost all of the voicelines vayne just sounds cold and angry but in that one she sounds almost. amused.

thinking about them staying in touch after the ruination, graves telling her about how many monsters there are in bilgewater and and andndndndn hhhghghghghfghjhhjhjkhujfbkgghbujn yf uikbegwstdry7ufbtwo7y8gw7uoiutgq7ua8irtgq37u8rtg7uw8i3ehtgyr7u8iow934yry3

the monster hunter lady and the gay cowboy are FRIENDS theyre friends starts sobbing wildly

[minidog]

The update is I am no longer playing fire emblem birthright it’s not worth it

I’m replaying fire emblem birthright....they really did frame mikotos death EXACTLY like chroms death as if it in anyway carried the same weight 💀💀💀

[milescellaneous]

OHGHHHHHHH I JUST FOUND A BAG OF TAKIS MY YEAR JUST GOT MADE

[windamp]

ohghhhhhhh finally got to stay at a friends’ house after fukving. months.

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

something that has been bothering me sooo much lately is how dysphoric i feel around nick literally terrible i haven't felt this dysphoric in yeaaaarrrrrssssss. theres some post on my instagram from december about having fucking dysphoria dreams do u realize how ridiculous that is???? Literally have dreams for weeks on end about dysphoria??????? crazy, especially bc dreams are always super relevant for me. they are not abstract at all, they are straight up what is happening and what ive been feeling lately.

june does not make this feel any better at all way worse i feel so bad. my girlfriend bought me a binder for christmas but i mostly just wore it at the house (idk why, its not like i Don't want to be flat when i leave the house, i just always seemed to forget when i needed to leave) to feel better at myself. (actually as i type this i realize it's because s lot of my dysphoria is more, self inflicted than other ppl percieving me. I have the worst dissociation ever I don't process that when I leave the house, there is a physical body that people are perceiving so i don't particularly care what i look like). ANYWAYS long story short i started wearing my binder to school bc i want to make sure that i can handle wearing it for the full 8-10 hours, instead of taking it off after a few. I have also been observing which shirts i look the flattest in so that i can wear those ones to see him. yea. obviously they're all sweaters/heavier clothes which won't work well with the heat but never! In my life! Have I let heat stopped me from wearing clothes!

i also wanted to try a new hair dye colour bc ive had blonde & pink for over a year now )i still love it, don't get me wrong i am just curious what other colours id like) but like i am scared it'll suck and i won't be able to get my hair back to something good by the time i see him. if i dyed it within the next week it'd Maybe be faded enough to redye it b4 the trip??? But I don't know how fast green fades compared to the pink i always do. Way slower im pretty sure.

i also really want to Cut my hair and get a shorter haircut but again i am so scared it'll look bad. ivr had the same length for also over a year and i like it, it's safe. but this post is DYSPHORIA THEMED i think it's too ambiguous. i think my face is too feminine for it to ever look male on me, even if it could for other people. i want to go shorter but if it grows out badly im ending it!!!!!!! it'd be better to do it now (i was planning to cut my hair Tonight) but if i cut it badly, ill have 1-2 more weeks left of school w a terrible haircut.....but if i cut it after that, it might not be able to grow out enough to look ok b4 nick? UGH I don't know bro idk what my final decision will be. i need to make it fucking fast though. maybe ill have my sister help me make the decision & cut it so that it'll be better. the issue is I have very very straight hair so i hate shorter hair styles bc if i don't brush it or if i go more than 3 days w/o showering, it gets so flat i look so fucking bad

Ohghhhhhhh this reminds me i have terrible eating disorder related hair loss. I started recovery mid-march, and my friend said it took him about 3 months for his hair to start being healthy & grow back again and that's around the time i see nick. but it could take longer for me. that's another reason i don't want to cut my hair, because j did used to have shorter hair and it looked fine. It was never flat or anything even w/o brushing, but now i have much less hair on my head. and it is not the healthiest hair.. so im scared how it'd look shorter

I'm talking a lot about cutting & dyeing it when most likely I'd just end up keeping the same haircut anyways!

yea just o haven't had a cis person in my life in YEARS all my friends either came out ss trans or they got cut off for other reasons so there is just none except like...my dad but he does not count. Honorary lgbt. especially a cis person i am dating....? It feels so bad literally so much anxiety all the time i already hate talking caus my voice so in person i wonder how often i will want to just opt out of the situation and not exist. god i hate it bc i am soo excited for everything else i want to be there so badly but i just hate that i must have a physical form and he has to see it. i haven't really been dysphoric for a long time (bc, no cis people in my life, got more comfortable in myself, came out irl) but it just. ugh. Yeah. i feel so guilty for kind of dreading that part of seeing him because i feel like i Should be totally excited but i am also so anxious. And also that's the whole point? is to see him and for him to see me. and know that i have a body i am real i have a face and i amna whole person and he is also. So it's like oh you're planning this whole elaborate thing only to dread likr...the main part of it. It'll probably be fine tho, i find i am much less aware of things in the moment and i won't even notice especially if i am having a good time. maybe the worry will be there when im trying to sleep, or in awkward spaces where i am suddenly aware of myself and my body and where i am. i love him and trust him tho so it'll be ok.

That is my post thank you for posting!