#OH yknow what. guitar sounds make me think of home. i always get so excited specifically about acoustic guitar ; v;

[elegyofthemoon]

12, 30?

hi again :D

12. how are you?

I'm actually good today !! even despite the lack of sleep. It's at least a better day than yesterday so i'm glad at least for that :) I just wish I could like. focus alsfh the area I'm in rn makes it hard to do though and that is why i am here :^)

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

summer evenings/sunsets, a specific candle scent i had bought called "campfire nights", laughs between friends because youre making the stupidest kinds of jokes from staying up way longer than you were supposed to, the freedom to be as you are without judgement...aaand honey :)

[tangledstarlight]

work in progress wednesday 

hello hi! okay so i’m working on a few different things right now because i have no self control but i’d thought i’d show you the rough outline i have worked out for my reincarnation au since i just gotta super excited about the idea of it again. and also part of this juke fake dating au i have because i feel like if i post it somewhere it might make me actually finish it

reincarnation au

i work in a really annoying way in which i have to physically write stuff out first, so i’ve basically got all this on flashcards with extra information/plot details about each decade/century. and also a flashcard for each of the main characters, colour coded, with things that stay the same in each life, and points that tie them all together (i’m literally so close to ordering red string and creating a crime scene murder board for organisation hfj). 

i’m sticking with the greek gods vibe, mostly because i love a bit of greek mythology, which means rose is Hestia because the home, hearth & family vibes are strong in the molina household if you ask me. i havent settled on a god for caleb yet but i’m leaning towards one who deals with chaos? it’s still a little up in the air.

i’m still trying to figure out what’s going to happen between 300bc and the 1300′s because there’s gotta be at least one life in there somewhere yknow?

i have to say i’m most excited about writing the willie interlude chapter and boys as cowboys, they just feel like they’re gonna be fun. 

juke fake dating au

i really like what i have, and i love a fake dating au but i just...idk the motivation to actually finish it seems to have vanished and that makes me sad

“So. I’ve got a... proposition for you. Or a request I guess. A deal? An idea of mutual beneficial rewards?” Julie frowned, head tilted to the side as she thought about it. During all her rehearsing of this moment she had completely forgotten to think about how to actually approach the topic. 

Now she was just sounding crazy if the raised eyebrows Luke was shooting her way were any indication. 

“I’m listening. Unless you’re about to ask me to help you commit some kind of crime, then we might have to do this somewhere a little less,” he twirled a finger in the air and leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice to a whisper “public. Don’t wanna get caught.” 

He said it all with such an easy smile, calming her racing nerves without even realising that’s what he was doing. Or maybe he did know. Everyone always joked about how Luke was constantly wrapped up in his music, he didn’t notice much going on around him, but he could be surprisingly in tune with his friends' emotions when he wanted to be. Which is part of the reason why Julie was doing this, she reminded herself. There was a reason it was Luke she was asking. 

“I think we should fake date.”

The words hung in the air between them. And, now they were out in the open, Julie realised just how mad the whole idea sounded. The sight of Luke’s smile freezing, eyebrows rising higher as his eyes grew wider (a look that, under other circumstances would have made her laugh) had Julie rushing to get out her explanation before he could completely say no. She had put a lot of thought into this! 

“No, no, listen! I know it sounds weird and silly and completely crazy. But it makes sense! Dad and Carlos have been worrying and Tia is convinced I’ve sworn off relationships because I’m scared of getting hurt because of mom and what happened with Nick and Flynn is constantly trying to set me up on dates. Even though I’ve told them all I’m perfectly fine! There’s nothing wrong with being single and alone, and it’s not even like I’m alone-alone. I have friends. I’m not some kind of crazy recluse.” Julie felt herself spiralling into a rant and had to take a deep breath to pull herself back. Luke still hadn’t moved since she’d started speaking, though she could swear his lips twitched in an almost smile. 

“And! You’re always saying how your mom drives you mad about how you’ve never brought someone home to meet them. And Alex and Reggie are always teasing you about not being able to keep a date because you’re always scaring people away with your crazy intense music obsession and how you’re going to be forever alone surrounded by guitars instead of cats.” Reggie had gone into scary details about how he thought Luke’s life was going to play out, it was both terrifying and hilarious. 

“If we pretend to date for a few weeks it will get them all off our backs, we wouldn’t even have to change all that much about what we do now. Maybe just, dinner or something, hold hands. You already spend all your time here anyway. And then in a month or something we can have an amicable break up. Everyone wins.” She ended her speech a little out of breath, having rushed through all her thoughts. Luke is still looking at her, his eyes still wide and his smile frozen in place. But he was still sitting at the counter, which Julie was going to take as a good sign. 

“So? What do you think?” She chewed on her lip, casting her eyes down and trying - and failing - to not fidget with her fingers. Luke still hadn’t responded, hadn’t moved. Oh god, he thought it was a terrible plan didn’t he? 

Now he was never going to want to hang out with her again, he’d avoid coming to the cafe and stop inviting her to their gigs and she’d be down to only Flynn as a friend and she really would be a recluse. 

Was there a limit on how many cats you could adopt at once? She didn’t think her apartment building even allowed cats. Great, now she was going to have to move as well!

“Hey,” Luke’s voice was gentle as it pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts, and he must have been trying to get her attention for a while, she thinks, because one of his hands is reaching out to settle on top of hers that had started tapping insistently on the counter top. Julie hadn’t even realised she was doing that. 

“You put a lot of thought into this whole, fake dating thing, huh?” He says the words ‘fake dating’ carefully, slowly, like he’s worried about something. But Julie doesn’t know what. She nods her head though, blowing out a breath and raising her eyes again until they land on Luke’s own. 

“Even made a powerpoint. There were pictures and graphs.” 

Luke laughed at that and Julie felt all the sudden tension leave her shoulders. She’s reminded, again, that this is Luke and there is a reason why she’s asking him to part-take in her crazy plan. 

“I mean-” He pauses, tilting his head a little to the side, his eyes unfocused as he seems to think something over. Julie waits, forces her hand, that is still underneath his, to be still lest she seem impatient for his answer. Which she is, but Luke doesn’t need to know that. It feels like an eternity has passed before he’s blinking, eyes focusing on hers and a wide grin breaking across his face. Julie can’t help but smile back reflectively. 

“I guess it wouldn’t really change all that much about our lives, huh? We’d just get to hang out more. And it would be nice for my parents and the guys to get off my back about never going out on dates.”

It takes Juile a moment to realise what exactly Luke is saying. 

“Wait, you mean you’ll do it?” She had hoped he would agree, but actually hearing him say it is a whole other thing. 

“Yeah, of course I’ll do it. And hey, it could be kinda fun!” There’s an infectious excitement in Luke’s voice and Julie grins, impulsively turns her hand over on the counter top so she can link their fingers together and squeeze his hand.

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[walking-true-to-style]

A dinner date with Queen h/c:

John Deacon

Okay, so to start with a cliche, he’s finally back from tour

Though you called every day and into the night, nothing beat actually having your Deaky home.

However, instead of going out, you decided to stay in

“I’ve eaten at restaurants every night. Having a home-cooked meal alone with my dearest would be Heaven on Earth.”

Always the charmer...

You both cook together in the kitchen. He let you choose, knowing fully how excited you’d be to cook your favorite meal.

He turns on the radio and, wouldn’t you know it, Queen is on. “You’re my best friend” plays, almost a movie moment.

As you stand over the stove, John comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and humming to the song- the one he wrote for you.

You crane your hear to kiss him on the cheek, smiling into him.

“What’s it like being a rockstar, whose songs play on the radio?”

“Well, it’s an interesting lifestyle, yknow? But it could never beat being with you”

You wouldnt ever say it but that statement totally kills you.

As you finish up the cooking, he goes to set the table, pulling out the fancy plates because, yknow what? This is a special occasion. Good time to use the special plates.

He also lights a candle and pours water. As you come out with the food to serve you both, you give a happy sigh as he finishes up.

“Oh John... this is beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

He plants a chaste kiss on your lips before you set down the food in the center. You eat in comfortable silence, holding hands and just taking in the company of your husband

“I missed this.”

“I did too, my love.”

Roger Taylor

He picked you out of the audience at a concert one night.

You were lucky to have gotten front-row tickets and it only costed an arm and a leg

Worth it to see your favorite band on stage

During the concert you noticed a certain drummer making eye contact with you at several points

You even earned a wink and a smile from him to which you returned with an even bigger smile

One that almost made Roger lose focus

When you were invited backstage you were in SHOCK

You opened the door to see Roger standing while the rest of the band sat

He turns around and his eyes brighten.

You almost forget your own name from his expression.

“Ah, there you are. I’m glad we caught you.” He smiles.

“The pleasure’s all mine.” You stammer out, smiling like an idiot.

He introduces you to the rest of the band and you eccstatically shake all their hands.

“So is there a name to that pretty face I saw in the crowd?”

“(Y/n)”

“(Y/n)... Would you want to have a drink with me?” He asks you cocking a brow.

You nod and he whisks you away to a bar nearby.

He tells you to order whatever you want, on him of course. You fight him to handle the tip, but still order something relatively inexpensive.

He makes a face, reminding you you can have whatever you want. Still you go for your first option

“So... tell me about yourself.” He leans back in his chair and flashes that heart melting smile.

As you speak he seems fully attentive, wanting to remember every detail.

You both have so much to talk about and honestly you don’t think you’ve laughed like this in a LOOONG time.

Suddenly he goes a little quiet. You look at him, coming down from a giggle.

“What’s up?” You ask him

“I know I’m known to be a bit of a.... heartbreaker, but... I don’t want that reputation to make you feel less important.”

You give him a sympathetic smile. Of course the thought had crossed your mind, but just enjoying the night was enough, even if it could’ve been a dream.

“Thanks, Roger.” Is all you can think to say. Though, you make a bold move and put your hand over his. He sets his free hand on top of yours and leans in a bit.

“I think I’d like this to be a little more than just an evening drink and a friendly conversation.” he tells you.

“Me too.”

Brian May

When Brian was back in town, all he wanted was to have an evening with you.

It would be fun to go out, so long as it was more lowkey he figured.

You both dressed pretty casually. Though it was special, he didn’t want to make a huge fuss over things.

Still, you gussied up just a little bit.

When you came downstairs, Brian was gaping

He must’ve forgotten just how perfect you were while he was away because he swore he fell in love all over again

“Careful Bri, you keep gaping like that, you may get a fly in the mouth” you snicker. He snaps out of his trance and chuckles sheepishly

“You just look... incredible, love.”

“You do too.”

You share a kiss and head out together.

You decided to pack a picnic and go to the beach in the evening

It was a rare night in England that it was clear at the beach.

You walk for a little while before picking a spot on the shore and spread the blanket, unpack the food and sit down.

As you both eat you talk about his touring stories, life back here, and just any idle subject that comes to mind as the sun sets

After finishing food Brian finds this the best time to pull out a guitar and serenade you as the stars begin to appear in the sky.

You lean against him and close your eyes, taking in the sound of the waves and the presence of your beloved.

He begins to pluck out the beginnings of a song he was writing. One he said only you would be able to hear because he did not plan on recording it for an album

Everything is just incredibly serene.

Brian eventually puts down the guitar and holds you as you look at the sky

He chatters about the constelations, telling you the stories of them.

“I feel like I should be taking notes” you giggle. He hums and holds you closer

“There will be a quiz at the end of the date.” he says, sending you into a fit of laughter. He chuckles and buries his face in your shoulder

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Bri.”

Eventually it gets cold so you pack up and head back to your home. You never realized how tired you were. You nearly crashed the second your face hit the pillow.

Still you get up and get ready for bed with Brian and then get in bed again.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, love”

Freddie Mercury (platonic)

Sometimes Freddie would do such extravagant dinner dates with you, but he knows that it sometimes makes you umcomfortable- especially with papparazzi

He once took you to the Ritz and honestly you felt underdressed even in your best clothing.

So having a night at his home catching up with Freddie, Jim, and all the kitties was better than you hoped.

It was a few days after he was back from a vacation with Jim that Freddie decided to call you up

“Darling, are you busy tonight? You should come over and have dinner with us!” Be begged on the phone.

It was after a loooong day and honestly you were thinking of just having a good ol’ fashion me-date that night.

“I don’t know Fred... it’s really late... can’t we do it tomorrow?”

Freddie huffs through the phone. You can practically feel his puppy eyes through the phone.

“We miss you over here! Especially Delilah. Please, (y/n) I’ll be your best friend.” He begs.

You chortle and roll your eyes.

“You already are my best friend, Fred.” You chuckle.

“So then you’ll come?” He presses.

“Alright, I’ll be over soon- for Delilah.” He feins insult and chuckles.

“We’ll see you soon, lovey!”

When you get to the mansion, Jim greets you with a hug.

“Wonderful to see you again, (y/n).” He grins you return the regard and do some small talk as he leads you to the dining room.

“Freddie, (y/n)’s here.” Jim announces. Immediately, Freddie jumps up and wraps you in a bear hug, nearly knocking you over.

“Oh, I MISSED you! How are you darling? Are you well? Oh, please sit down we’ll get you food.” he rambles.

“I missed you too, Freddie. Thank you for having me over.”

Opera was playing in the background as you sat at the dining table. Freddie made sure to sit across from you next to Jim so he could A- hold hands with Jim but B- be able to be completey attentive when listening to his best friend speak

You were served your favorite, figuring Freddie had a preconcieved plan to invite you already. You all dug in immediately

Honestly you were unaware of how hungry you were.

“So... tell me about your vacation together” you say between bites.

Freddie and Jim banter as they tell you about their vacation to the Carribean together. Freddie is so animated and honestly your heart melte seeing your best friend so happy and in love.

The evening ended with drinks on the couch playing scrabble just like old times

Honestly, it was nice to have friends like them.

A/n: Man I have not written anything in a hot minute. I hope you enjoy!

Taglist:

@jiswoogannon @littlemisscaptainfandom @brianharoldmaysguitar @deakysgirl

[seungcheolsbodyharness]

heart shaped: III

wc: 4.7k

summary: you and jihoon are both full of surprises.

genre: fake dating, fluff, minor angst

a/n: it’s june!!! have some christmas fluff

part one || part two || part three || part 4 || part 5 || finale (in progress)

you find yourself standing in front of jihoon’s door a few days later. it’s christmas, now, and maybe you should have asked first, but you’d decided that morning that it’d be nice to surprise jihoon. you already know he doesn’t have plans.

besides - it’s what a real girlfriend would do, after all. surprise her boyfriend with something sweet, romantic.

so you knock on his door, hear him call out that he’s coming, smile at his surprised face when he sees you standing on his tiny porch.

“did we have plans today?” he asks, surprise rendering his words sharp. he coughs, and tries again. “sorry. were we supposed to hang out today?”

“nope!” you bring your hands out in front of you from where they’d been hidden behind your back and present him with an envelope - nothing big, a pretty card with gift certificate to the record store he’s mentioned once or a few hundred times in the brief time you’ve known him. “just wanted to surprise you. merry christmas, jihoon.”

his eyes go wide and he silently motions for you to come inside. you take off your coat and shoes and settle onto his couch while he remains in the entryway, eyes staring at the card and its contents.

“you didn’t have to do that.” he mumbles. you shrug and smile at him. jihoon dismisses himself to the small office he has off the kitchen, presumably to put his present somewhere safe, but when he comes back he has a small box in his hands. he holds it out to you, not quite meeting your eyes. “sorry it’s not wrapped.”

it’s your turn to be surprised. you take the box from his hands and open it to reveal what appears to simply be a piece of fabric, but as you pull it out of the box you realize that it’s a scarf. it’s beautiful and soft, covered in delicate flowers. you aren’t sure what to say.

“my friend minghao helped me buy it.” you look up at the sound of jihoon’s voice, almost like you’d forgotten he was there. “i’m not very good at buying presents, but i thought i should get you, i dunno. something. it matches your coat.”

blinking, you turn your gaze towards the entry and think that he’s right. the scarf is same color as the coat you’d worn every time you’d met up with jihoon.

“thank you, jihoon.” you smile up at him and wrap the scarf around your neck despite the warmth of jihoon’s living room. “so - um, i was thinking we could go out and do something.”

jihoon thinks for a moment and then nods. “okay.”

the streets are unsurprisingly filled with people. everywhere you look you see couples: matching outfits, leaning closely to share quick kisses, hands clutched tightly together. for just a moment, you’re reminded of spending christmas with your ex, and then jihoon squeezes your hand and asks you if you want to get some coffee. clearing your head, you nod and allow him to lead you to a cafe that isn’t fit to bursting full of people. he tells you to find a seat and that he’ll get your drinks.

you pout, insisting that you’ll wait with him but he declines, giving your forehead a gentle flick as he laughs. “go find us a table before they’re all gone.” you pout again and insist he buy you something sweet as well. he nods, smiling, and you give in, leaving him in line while you peer around for a table.

being alone without jihoon to distract you brings back the thoughts of your ex-boyfriend once more. christmas had always been his favorite time of year, which made spending it with him that much more enjoyable.

which had made it worse when he’d broken up with you on christmas eve.

thinking back to that moment now, you know it’s for the best that you’re not together anymore. this is only your second christmas without him, immediately after not included, and while you were mostly fine throughout the year, spending christmas day alone was still hard for you.

not for the the first time, you’re tempted to check his social media - see if he’s doing something romantic with his new girlfriend. well, she isn’t new. they’d gotten together pretty quickly after your relationship’s demise.

“are you okay?”

jolting, you look up and see jihoon seated across from you. the look on his face isn’t quite worried, but it’s close enough. you laugh nervously and wave it off, “just thinking about something, don’t worry about me.” you smile at him, hoping you’re convincing. “what’d you bring me, hoonie~?”

jihoon blanches and immediately you wonder if you’ve misstepped. he blinks a few times and shakes his head as if to clear it, letting out a long breath. “my ex used to call me that. like, almost more than my name.”

“god, i’m sorry, i won’t say it again.”

jihoon waves a hand, eyes pinched. “no, no, don’t be. you can say it. i just - i dunno, i guess with all the real couples around i couldn’t help but think about her, yknow?”

you hum, nodding slowly. “yeah, i know. so - hoonie is okay? because it’s a very cute nickname.”

jihoon’s cheeks tinge pink and he shrugs. “if you want, i guess.” he slides a mug towards you, whipped cream heavy on the top. “i hope you like caramel hot chocolate.”

“i guess i’m going to find out.” you couldn’t imagine disliking it, and with that you gently bring the cup to your lips and sip slowly. the overwhelming sensation is that it’s hot, so hot, but it tastes delicious nonetheless. you swallow and set the mug back down, and jihoon’s shoulders shake with what you’re assuming is restrained laughter. “what?”

“oh, nothing.” he takes a sip of his own coffee, smirking against the rim, and you frown. using the front-camera on your phone, you realize just what it is he finds so funny.

huffing, you take a napkin from the dispenser on the table and wipe the whipped cream decorating your upper lip. “so…do you want to grab dinner, maybe? i’m sure there’s places doing couple specials tonight. we could probably get a pretty good deal.”

jihoon does laugh, then. “yeah, you’re probably right.”

the two of you finish your drinks and set back out into the cold, immediately bombarded with people handing out fliers for restaurants doing just like you’d thought - advertising couple specials for the holiday. you and jihoon take a few as you walk, figuring you can walk around some more before deciding on where to eat. the walk leads you both towards the park in the center of town, where there’s a light display. it’s nearly dark despite being late afternoon, so you both head down to see things close-up.

the lights reflect prettily on jihoon’s face as you look at several light-up santas, and you wonder if they look as nice on your own. you look over at jihoon and find him looking at you, expression unreadable. you smile at him softly, and he looks away. you follow him on the path through the displays out to the other side, where he stands waiting for you. he holds his hand out for you to take, and says, “i’m feeling in the mood for dumplings. sound good?”

you nod and let him lead you once more.

the evening goes smoothly - you and jihoon manage to keep each other distracted from your respective thoughts, laughing together over dinner and enjoying the buskers out even in the cold. jihoon gets a special, fond look on his face as you stop to watch a young man with his guitar, and you smile.

on the way back to jihoon’s, you ask him about it.

“did he remind you of yourself?”

jihoon hums. “yeah, a little bit. that’s how i got the job i have now, believe it or not. i had sent my resume and my application, of course, but on a whim i attached a youtube video of me busking from a few summers ago. the hiring manager was impressed, so here i am.”

“wow, jihoon, you’re so cool.”

jihoon lets out a little noise, almost as if he’s unused to the praise. “shut up.”

jihoon pulls into his driveway and walks with you back to your car. “for our next fake-date, i wanna take you to the record store. sound good?”

you don’t have to think before responding positively. “do you wanna do that before soyoung’s party?”

“mmm, like go to the shop and then swing by the party? we could do that.” he nods. “i had a good time today.”

“yeah! we’re getting pretty good at this date thing, huh?” you laugh and jihoon chuckles as well.

“okay, well, get home safe. i’ll text you later, okay?” you nod and he moves out of the way of your door so you can close it and drive home for the night.

finally alone with your thoughts, you find them drifting back to jihoon.

december is nearly over. the year is coming to a close.

you wake up on the thirty-first with a strange sort of dread sitting heavy in your chest, but you can’t figure out what it wants. you can’t figure out why thinking about the night ahead makes your heart clench tight.

you go about your day as if on auto-pilot: breakfast, shower, dishes, laundry, texting back and forth with jihoon and soyoung. both of them seem excited about tonight’s party. you don’t have the heart to tell them you’re not sure you feel the same way.

jihoon promised to pick you up around noon - in time for some lunch before heading out to the record shop, and then “there’s something else i want to show you.” that’s what he’d said in response to you wondering if maybe noon was too early - the party wouldn’t start until nine pm at the earliest. you’re eager to see what he has planned, though. jihoon seems too blunt to prepare surprises.

but then, he’s already disprove that.

noon rolls around and once again, jihoon is punctual and you’re running around trying to find something last minute - you let him in at the sound of the doorbell and motion towards the couch while you move quickly back to tearing your room apart.

“can you call my phone, please?” you ask, desperation obvious. “i haven’t been able to find it on my own and i don’t want to leave without it.”

jihoon nods and does as you ask, and you can hear your ringtone pinging in the living room. you scoff, annoyed because you’ve already pulled the cushions from the couch, even looking underneath, to no avail.

when you come into the living room you find jihoon on his stomach, peering into the dark abyss beneath your sofa. “it’s underneath.” he says simply, standing up and brushing himself off. he sets his own phone onto the coffee table and looks at you. “i’ll lift it up, you get under and grab your phone.”

“that’s all well and good, hoonie, but that couch is super heavy and -” jihoon ignores you in favor of doing just what he’d said he would and lifting the couch off the floor. you stand still for a few moments, shocked, before collecting yourself enough to dive to the empty space between the lifted furniture and the floor and retrieve your phone. gently as he can, jihoon sets the couch back into the floor and turns back to you, smirking. holding your phone to your chest, you can’t help but stare at him, mouth agape.

“ready to go now?”

you nod, speechless, and hurry for your coat and your purse.

jihoon will grant to himself he’s happy to see you wearing the scarf.

you get into jihoon’s car, and he drives out of the city.

“hey, you’re not taking me far away to like, kill me, right?” you’re mostly joking. mostly.

jihoon raises an eyebrow but keeps his eyes on the road. “why would i do that? people are expecting us at a party later.”

“that’s a joke, right?”

jihoon peers over at you, face blank. there’s a few beats of silence, and then he bursts out laughing, eyes turning back to the road. you slump back in your chair, immediately relieved, pouting at him.

“you think you’re so funny, don’t you?” you whine, and jihoon continues chuckling. “so where are we going, then?”

“my friend seungcheol told me about this place that has like, the best kimchi jjigae he’s ever had. and,” he draws the sound out, smile bright and mischievous. “there’s a branch of that record shop here too. it’s the original.”

you make a little ‘o’ with your mouth, nodding slowly. “i’m always down for some good jjigae.”

jihoon hums and taps his fingers on the steering wheel. “yeah, when i told cheol i wanted to head out this way he recommended it pretty quick. said he’d brought his girlfriend there once or something.” jihoon doesn’t mention the weird, suggestive faces cheol had made when telling him about the restaurant, nor does he mention the way seungcheol had kept repeating how glad he’d been he’d taken his girlfriend there.

the drive goes quickly enough - you and jihoon chat about a lot of things, somehow managing to avoid altogether the topic of the party. jihoon pulls up to the restaurant and you walk inside, and upon entry, jihoon realizes something. he keeps it to himself, in hopes that he’s wrong, but as the two of you find a seat and a woman comes up to the table to take your orders, jihoon realizes that he’s not.

“first date?” the woman asks, smile small but somehow knowing.

“oh, no.” you tell her, smiling. “we’ve been together a few weeks now. it is our first trip out of the city together, though!”

“ahh, i see. are you here for the kimchi jjigae?” her smile is warm and reminds you of your mother, but jihoon can only think of seungcheol’s smug, knowing face.

“yeah. a friend recommended it.” jihoon’s voice is low, almost sullen. the woman raises an eyebrow at him but quickly returns her attention to you.

“our kimchi beef dumplings are also the best in the area. you’ll have some of those?” she says it like a question, but it doesn’t carry the feeling of one. which is fine. you’re always down for good dumplings, too.

“that sounds great, thank you.”

she leaves the two of you alone at the table, so you turn your attention to jihoon. “are you…like, okay?”

jihoon sighs. he’s about to say something before the woman is back, setting side dishes down onto the table.

“you know,” she says, “our restaurant has a reputation among couples.”

“oh?” you ask, raising your eyebrows at jihoon.

“that’s right. couples who eat here and eat the kimchi jjigae never break up.” she smiles slyly at jihoon, who isn’t looking at you or the proprietor, and then walks away promising to bring your dumplings soon.

“i didn’t know, i swear.” jihoon blurts. your eyebrows remain raised at him, and he continues. “okay, so, i realized it like, as soon as we got here because i remembered cheol talking about it over and over and fucking over again after he came here last year, and then we got here and i saw his stupid picture on their couple wall. i wasn’t - it’s not like that, i swear.”

you laugh a little, and then it turns into a full stomach laugh. jihoon’s eyes go wide and he’s not sure if you’re laughing at his misfortune in the misunderstanding or at something else, but he figures it’s probably best to wait your laughter out, hoping that you’ll tell him. eventually it subsides, and you sigh before a few residual chuckles slip out. “it’s - it’s okay, jihoon, i’m not mad, it’s just that it seems like even after we’ve ‘gotten together’ people can’t stop interfering in our relationship.” you take a sip of your water and smile at him. “besides, if the jjigae is magic, it won’t work on us. we’re not really a couple.”

jihoon’s face lights up and he says “oh. you’re right.” even as a ‘couple’, seungcheol had seen fit to nose his way into your relationship. “i’ll probably kill him tonight. maybe. maybe some other time.”

“definitely after the jjigae though. magic or not, i bet it’s delicious.”

jihoon laughs. “i bet you’re right.”

your food gets brought out, dumplings and jjigae both, and the woman smiles sweetly at you as she sets it down. “it’s meant to be shared, of course. enjoy.”

you and jihoon smile politely back and then dig in, food just as delicious as you’d been promised. relationship magic be damned, the taste of it could be described as nothing other than magical.

“so, before you kill seungcheol for meddling,” you say after the meal is done, the two of you on your way back out to jihoon’s car, “you should still thank him for sending us here. that really was the best kimchi jjigae i’ve ever had.” you pat your stomach happily - you felt too-full, but in the good way.

jihoon huffs, tapping the address of the record shop into the gps on his phone. “i’ll keep that in mind.”

it’s only a short drive from the restaurant to the record shop, which despite the early saturday afternoon is nearly empty.

“good,” jihoon says when you mention the lack of shopgoers. “it’s easier to think and find something good when there aren’t people hovering around.”

you stand back while jihoon does his thing - thumbing through records with a concentrated look on his face: brows drawn together, lip stuck between his teeth. his mouth quirks to one side and you think he may be biting the inside of his cheek, eyes flitting up to a nearby shelf before he walks over to it. he searches through the stock here, too, and you wonder if maybe he’s looking for something specific. he finishes at the shelf and when he turns to look for more, he catches you watching him.

“aren’t you going to look for something?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

you shake your head. “records aren’t really my thing. i just knew you really wanted to come. besides, i like watching you look. you’re so…in your element here.”

something twists in jihoon’s chest and he turns away from you before you can see the blush rising on his cheeks. sensing that you’ve embarrassed him, you turn away and begin thumbing through the collection of records behind you. you get distracted looking at the cover art, careful not to treat any merchandise with disrespect, and it’s quite a few minutes later that you peer out of the corner of your eye you and notice that jihoon has left this section of the store, wandered off somewhere else, but you’re enjoying yourself where you are. jihoon knows where he left you, you figure, he’ll come find you when he’s done.

he does exactly that a few minutes later, after you’ve moved to another rack to look at more albums.

“i thought you weren’t into records?” he asks, tone soft.

you shrug your shoulders, still looking at the album in your hands. the art is so simplistic - just a small cloud on a blue sky background and nothing more. “i don’t.” you respond, putting the record back and turning to face him. “but i liked looking at the covers, i guess.”

jihoon knows this, though. while you’d been absorbed with cover art and he’d been wandering, he’d come back by the section you’d been in to check on you, make sure you weren’t standing there alone and unsure of what to do. unintentionally he had gotten stuck watching you browsing just like you had watched him, and he had seen you poring over a particular cover for a number of minutes before putting it back. and even after that, you had ended up going back to it, fingers tracing delicately over the artwork.

jihoon had wandered off again after that, deciding it best to leave you to it until either you sought him out or he finished his shopping, whichever came first.

which brought the two of you to the moment at hand. jihoon stood before you with a few bags in his hands, one of which he wordlessly holds out to you. assuming he just wants you to hold it you take the bag from him and start heading for the exit, and jihoon follows you back to the car, where you both place the shop bags into the backseat. checking the clock on the dashboard, it’s already a little after four, and the drive back to the city will take about an hour and a half which leaves you with hours still to go before the party. the two of you settle in, jihoon sets up the gps once more, and you hit the road.

“so was there anything else you wanted to do before the party?” you ask. “there’s not really a point in you dropping me off at home just to come pick me back up later, you know?”

“yeah, i told you earlier, remember? there’s something i want to show you. i don’t know if it’ll take like, three hours, but…we’ll see.”

oh. you had assumed the “something” had been the restaurant, or perhaps even the original branch of the record shop he loved so much in seoul. “what is it, hoonie?”

jihoon looks at you from the corner of his eye and smirks. “you’ll see.”

you groan. “haven’t you surprised me enough for one day? first the day trip, then the magic jjigae, now what?”

“you’ll see.” jihoon repeats smoothly. “also, the magic jjigae wasn’t - i already told you i didn’t realize where cheol was sending us.”

“i’m just teasing, hoonie. i trust you.” you smile at him brightly before turning back to your phone, scrolling through your twitter feed. smiling to yourself, you turn quickly and snap a picture of jihoon to post online.

jihoon drives deep into the heart of the city, into the underground parking lot of a building you’ve never seen before - not before saying hello to the man working the security gate. he pulls the badge hanging from his rear view mirror and throws it over his neck, taking you by the hand as he leads you to the elevator. he swipes his badge to get the elevator going to a specific floor, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand as the two of you travel upwards.

you step out once the doors open, jihoon leading the way. the guard working the desk looks up from his book and smiles big and wide at the sight of jihoon.

“evening, mr. lee!” he waves and jihoon waves back as he comes to a stop in front of the desk. “and who is this?”

“ah, this is my girlfriend.” he introduces you to the guard, who introduces himself as “dongsoo, miss!” and exclaims at how nice it is to meet you.

“dongsoo only works weekends, lucky bastard.” jihoon grumbles goodnaturedly.

dongsoo laughs. “that may be so, but no one forces you to come in on saturdays, mr. lee.”

jihoon shrugs. “i work best here. i get too…comfortable at home. and will you please just call me jihoon.” dongsoo smiles at that.

you raise an eyebrow at jihoon but say nothing. the two of you say goodbye to dongsoo as jihoon leads you down a long hallway lined with doors, going down until he reaches door 0526.

“this is me.” he says, voice soft, sliding up the keypad and putting in the passcode. he opens the door and leads you inside, revealing a small studio lit only by soft purple neon lighting.

“do you always work in the dark? that’s bad for your eyes.” you say it without thinking, but it’s true, and when jihoon doesn’t respond to turn towards him to see if you’ve maybe made him mad. he’s looking at you, clearly shocked. “what?”

he blinks, cocking his head back and scratching the back of his head. “no, it’s just that no one has really ever said anything like that. i mean….i don’t really bring people here, to be fair. woomin has been once or twice…seungcheol comes up and bothers me constantly even though he definitely has better things to be doing in his own department. a few others here and there. but everyone just talks about how cool the neon is.”

“well, yeah, it’s cool, but i bet you get headaches all the time.” you take a seat on the couch as jihoon plops himself into his computer chair.

he hums. “yeah…i do, actually.” you put your hands up as if to say “see, i told you.” and jihoon laughs. “yeah, okay, i’ll look into getting some better lights.”

“good. i’m glad.” you play with your scarf as jihoon logs into his computer and opens a few programs before turning back to you.

“i want to play something for you, if that’s okay.”

“oh!” you probably shouldn’t be as surprised as you feel. you are in his studio, after all. “okay, sure, go ahead. i mean, you should probably know i can’t give the kind of feedback you really need, since i’m not like, into music, but -”

jihoon puts up a hand to stop you. “it’s okay, you don’t need to give me any sort of feedback, i just…i just want you to hear it.” you nod, and jihoon clicks a few buttons, and the small room fills with music.

the tune is slow, and sweet, and you recognize jihoon’s voice immediately as it comes in over the instrumentals. jihoon’s voice and the music behind it build slowly, a quiet force by the time the chorus comes in for the first time, followed by a decrescendo of the music as jihoon’s voice stays strong. the instrumentals rise once more as the chorus approaches again, jihoon singing words of anguished adoration. the song ends softly, gently, fading off into silence followed by the click of jihoon’s mouse. he turns to look at you, almost shy. “so, i know i said you didn’t need to give me feedback, but um - did you like it, at least?”

you bite at your lip, blinking a few times before you answer. “ye-yeah, jihoon, it -” your eyes meet his and his face is like stone. clearly your opinion on this means more than he lets on. “it’s beautiful. it’s - it’s so sad, jihoon.” he nods, biting at his own lip. “is it - it’s about -?” you can’t bring yourself to finish. it doesn’t matter, he knows what you mean.

“yeah, it’s about her.” he runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “i’ve written dozens of songs since our breakup, but…this one, this stupid song, has been giving me nothing but trouble. i’ve been determined to finish it but i kept getting stuck.” he turns and looks at you. “until the other day. uh, christmas. after you left i went back in and poured…a lot of feelings into this stupid song. so much came bubbling up i…i worked all night at it but…it’s done. it has no power over me, anymore.”

you get the feeling he’s referring to more than just this song, but you keep it to yourself. “so…can i ask? why was it so important to show it to me? i would have heard it eventually, probably. in the top 40s or something.”

jihoon laughs. “because without you and the christmas date, i don’t think i ever would have finished it. i wanted to…thank you, i guess.” he checks the time on the computer monitor. nearly six-thirty. he turns back to you. “do you want to see what else i’m working on? we can get delivery if you get hungry, and then we’ll go at like nine. soyoung won’t forgive us if we don’t show up. or we can go do something else. it doesn’t matter to me. at all. really.”

you laugh. he’s definitely right about soyoung.

“no, jihoon, it’s okay. i like watching you work. show me everything.”

[writingismyhappytime]

Baby Daddy (Part 5)

Ryan Sitkowski x reader

Warnings: language, angst, mention of abortion

You're sound asleep, curled up in Ryans bed, the first content sleep you've had in two weeks.

Ryan is lying beside you, staring up at the ceiling as he listens to your calm breathing. He fucked up so bad. How is he going to tell his parents he knocked up a girl they've never met? How is he going to tell his band? God, what if you want to get married? The future is so uncertain and Ryan doesn't know how to feel. He's glad he stopped you from aborting the baby, but now he has absolutely no plan! Ugh! He glances at you, and then carefully crawls out of bed. You don't stir, so he relaxes a little as he leaves his bedroom, hearing the front door. He quickly heads for the stairs, seeing Ricky toss his car keys onto the table, shirking out of his jacket. "Hey." "Hey, man," Ricky turns to him immediately, obviously wanting to ask about the baby but unsure. "She didn't go through with it, we're keeping it," Ryan says after a moment, seeing Ricky relax. "She's asleep upstairs." "Ah. She must be tired." "Yeah." Ryan looks down. "Dude, don't look so bummed." Ricky nudges him with his fist. "It's not the end of the world. You'll be a great dad!" "I don't know," Ryan frowns. "I'm still panicking." "You got time, panic away." Ricky tells him brightly as he heads for the fridge. "At least now the two of you can save money buying condoms for a while, you're obviously not gonna need them!" Ryan groans. "Ricky!" His friend chuckles, sliding him an energy drink. "Hey, you know I'm totally buying all of us cigars when you find out if the kids a boy or girl." "We don't smoke ---." "It doesn't matter, we're still getting cigars." Ricky informs him, popping the lid off his drink. "So other then fall asleep in your bed, has she said anything? The two of you made any plans?" Ryan shakes his head. "Not yet. We just came home and she conked out. She's been super stressed about this." "I don't doubt it. When are you going to tell your families?" Ryan sighs. "When I'm dead and the kids forty." Ricky chuckles. "Don't be such a sour puss. (Y/N) is hot, she'll have super big boobs when the baby is born, and she's really sweet. Sounds like you found yourself a good baby mama. Plus she's obviously not after your money since she knows you're always broke as fuck." Well, Ryan guesses that's true. "I guess." "So do you want a boy or girl?" "I don't care." Ryan doesn't want one at all. "Either is fine." "Dude, what if you guys get twins or something?" Ricky brightens. "Or triplets? Or, like, sextuplets!? You can name them after the band!" Oh jeez. "Why are you so excited over this?" "Because I'm going to get to be an uncle, that's why! Cheers to daddyhood, dude!" Ricky forcefully clunks his energy drink against Ryans. "At least we know your balls work!" ~~~~~~ "Hey, guys?" Ryan calls, getting everyone's attention where they sit in the studio; Chris is a little pissed at him because he bailed the other day and fucked up the recording schedule, but he'll get over it. Ryans going to spill the big news. Everyone turns to look at him, and he shuffles nervously. "I, um, gotta tell you guys something," he says, finally getting to his feet because he can't sit still any longer. He glances around the room, Ricky giving him an encouraging thumbs up with a bright smile. Right. He has to do this, doesn't he? "So, yknow the girl I've been dating?" "Yeah, she owns a store right?" Balz says, leaning back on the couch, and Ryan nods. "Yeah." "When are we going to get to meet her? You guys seem like you're good," Chris says, propping his chin on his fist. "Is she going to be a regular?" Ricky starts to snicker as Ryan sighs. "Yeah, she's gonna be pretty regular alright." "Did you two get married or something!?" Ghost demands, staring at him intently. "What? No." Ryan frowns; he never wants to get married. "Nothing like that." "Then what is it?" Vinny presses, looking up from his phone. "You're killing us with anticipation." Right. Um. Ryan sucks in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "She's pregnant." It takes all the guys a second to process, just like it did Ricky, but it's obvious when the light bulb goes off. There's a collective "oh," and obviously no one quite knows how to react. "Uh. Congratulations?" Balz hesitates, seeing Ryan isn't exactly bursting at the seams with excitement, and the rest of the room is dead silent. "Yeah.... I'm gonna be a dad," Ryan rubs the back of his neck. "We're keeping it, so ---." "So you're gonna be a babydaddy?" Vinny perks up. "Dude, awesome! Maybe it'll inherit your skills." "God, it's gonna be born with a guitar in hand," Ricky teases, lightening the mood of the room. "That'd be hilarious!" Ryan rolls his eyes, slowly sitting back down. "How far along is she?" Chris asks, finally understanding why Ryan has been so absent the past few weeks. "Eight or nine weeks now. We just found out." Ryan knows you're not supposed to announce the pregnancy until about twelve weeks, thanks to some in depth googling, because there's always the chance of miscarriage. Which is why he isn't going to tell his family until then. But his band --- well, Ricky already knows, so why not? It's not like he could have kept his mouth shut for long anyway. "This is so cool, we're all gonna be uncles!" Vinny says excitedly, trotting a little closer to the group. "Is she just having one or ---?" "Uh, one. As far as I know," Ryan hopes to god its not anymore. "And I don't know what it is yet, we won't know for a long time." "Lame! I bet it's a boy." "I think girl," Ricky shakes his head. "And you know I'm always right!" "Wanna bet on it? Five bucks?" "Yeah! Who wants in?" Ryan rolls his eyes as everyone tosses five dollars into the bet jar they always have, shaking his head. The guys are more excited about him having a baby then he is. Urgh. ~~~~~ You press your hands against your lower stomach, frowning. You know there's a baby in there, but you don't feel any different. Your body is still the same --- if you hadnt gone to the doctor you probably would have never figured it out until you gained like eight pounds and couldn't fit into your clothes! The morning sickness should have given it away! You sigh, looking at yourself in the mirror, but your pregnancy isn't obvious yet. You wonder when it will be. Huh. You give one more twist before leaving it, searching for your shoes. You have to meet Ryan in a few minutes at his house, so you don't have anymore time to kill. It's so strange. What are the two of you going to do? You're obviously not going to give it up for adoption once it's born, but how are you going to raise it? You glance around your small apartment, with its one bedroom and bath; perfect for you, but not for a family. Ryan couldn't live here with you, it would be too cramped, and you doubt Ricky would want you to move in there. You'd have to find a new place to live. That's going to be expensive. Should you already be stocking up on baby stuff? When's the appropriate time to start buying? You'd have to stick with the gender neutral clothes until you find out what it is. Is it a boy? A girl? Now that you're keeping it, you feel a little off, you're not sure how to react. Are you excited? Giddy? Bursting at the seams? No. Actually you just feel sort of.... somewhere in between? It's not that you..... You're just unsure at the moment, it still doesn't seem quite real. What if it's just a sick joke? You'd heard of false pregnancies, where all the signs say yes to pregnant, but then it turns out to be something different. Could that happen to you? Ryan would probably be ecstatic if that was the case; his conscience got to him, that's the only reason he'd stopped you. You don't have any ideas he'll want to marry you and have a cute little family with a nice house and a dog; you'd told yourself a long time ago you wouldn't get married. So there's no point in forming that fantasy. When is he going to tell his parents? Are you going to get to meet them? Your mother lives out of state, and you know there's no worries of her flying to see you, so you'll have to tell her over the phone. You sigh as you shirk into your jacket,grabbing your car keys and starting out the door; you figure he's called you over so the two of you can talk, figure out what to do next. Make a plan. It doesn't take you long to get to his house, for once the traffic isn't terrible, and you frown at the lack of parking in front of his house. Why are all these cars here? Why is it taking you so long to find a spot!? You're a little irritated when you finally do, and the fact you have to walk so far doesn't make your mood any better. You're nervous; now that you're having this baby, everything seems so... different. You suppose you should start saving all your extra money, put it back, start a college fund... You knock on Ryans door, not wanting to just barge in like you usually do; you don't feel as welcome now. Ryan opens the door immediately, as if he'd been standing right behind it. You blink at him, slowly lowering your hand. "Hey ---." "Hey. So, my band is here." Ryan looks a little nervous. "They want to meet you." Oh. Wait, is that why he'd wanted you to come over? "You told them already?" You'd wanted to wait until you are at least twelve weeks before you said anything; no point in everyone getting excited if nothing come of it. "Yeah, well, I told Ricky, anyway." Ryan hesitates, his hand tightening on the front door. "And he told me it'd probably be better to go ahead and let the band know. I mean, I'll have to be bailing a lot to come to your appointments and stuff." ... He wants to go to your doctor appointments? "You want to go with me?" "Yeah, why not?" Ryan shuffles a little nervously, finally stepping back out of the door so you can come inside. "I wanna be up to date with everything." That's almost sweet. You give him the best smile you can muster as you shrug out of your coat, tossing your keys on the table with his and Rickys, a habit you'd picked up. Ryan takes your hand, his eyes flicking towards the living room where you can hear everyone talking. "I'm gonna warn you, they're all kind of assholes, so ---." "It's okay, Ryan," you squeeze his warm hand reassuringly; you don't mind meeting his band, since they all apparently know. You think it's a little weird he told them before his own family, but it's not your place to judge. Ryan nods, pulling you after him to the living room where a bunch of dark haired men are, some sitting, some standing, Ricky tossing drinks to the youngest one. The tallest one turns to look as the two of you step inside. He's seen pictures of you, everyone has, but this is his first time really getting a good look at you. Your hair is long, falling down your back, and you're pretty, probably even more so with makeup. Your eyes are swollen, dark rings beneath them, and you're obviously tired. You're only a little shorter then Ryan, who's holding your hand so tightly your fingers might fall off. "Everyone, I want you to meet my girlfriend." Ryan says after a moment, and you give an awkward wave at the group. "Babe, this is Chris, Ghost, Balz, and Vinny." Balz? Really? "Hi," you feel a little awkward as they all look all you. "You don't look pregnant," Vinny comments, earning a swift smack to the back of the head from Ghost. "Ow! What the hell?" "You can't just say that, Vinny." "Why not? She doesn't!" You flush, but Ryan chuckles. "It's nice to meet you," Chris says quickly before they make a horrible first impression. "You too." "So you own a store right?" Balz asks, sitting on the couch, Rickys cat in his lap. "Me and my girlfriend do too." "Yeah. And I know, Ryan talks about it. Oddities something?" "Yup! So if you need any help with your store while you and Ryan are off doing baby stuff, me and my girlfriend can help out, we've pretty much got it figured out now." "Oh." You blink, a little surprised. "Well, thank you." Balz gives you a smile, but you notice how they're all glancing at your sweater, as if you should just start ballooning round at any moment. Um. Right. "I need a drink," you mumble, quickly peeling your hand from Ryans and backing from the room. You head straight across the hall into the kitchen, bolting like you've seen a ghost. Well, you did see a ghost, but --- Ryans not going there. "Did we scare her off?" Vinny asks after a moment, feeling slightly guilty they scared the pregnant lady. Ryan glances over his shoulder uncomfortably; he doesn't know what to do with you, whether to treat you delicately or like normal. He knows you shouldn't be lifting things anymore, but you do need exercise. Or something. Ryan needs to do a little more research. There's a too much stuff to read about babies on the internet. And then there's hormones and stuff and what about if you get mad at him ---!? Fuck! "I'll be right back," Ryan mutters, hastily running in your direction. He hesitantly steps into the kitchen, as if the floor is covered in egg shells. You're merely staring into the buzzing fridge, your fingers hovering against an energy drink. "You shouldn't drink those, they're bad for the baby." The words leave Ryans lips before he realizes it. You glance over your shoulder, your hair falling in front of your eyes. "How do you know?" "I read it online." "Not everything you read online is true." Ryan frowns, he doesn't like your tone very much, but he doesn't respond. You lean up with a sigh, closing the fridge door without picking anything ; you don't like energy drinks, they taste bad, you only drink them at Ryans because that's all they ever have. "Are you okay?" Ryan asks awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. You kind of stop, and you definitely give him the evil eye! "Seriously, Ryan?" You snap, turning around to glare at him, arms crossed. Uh oh. "Uh... yes?" "Ryan!" You're --- annoyed. "You could have told me before I came over that your band was here!" " I --- sorry, I just ---." "You didn't even tell me that you told anyone!" You're pretty sure that's what's upsetting you the most. You haven't told your mother yet, Ryan hasn't told his family --- oh but his entire band has to know apparently! And the way they'd all looked at you... You didn't get pregnant on purpose! You feel tears well in your eyes, but you're already running for the front door. You hear Ryan call after you, but all you can think about is going home, curling up in your bed and having a long cry. Ryan groans in frustration, watching you go. He winces as the front door slams, and he glances out the window as he sees you rush down the sidewalk and towards your car. He sees you get in, and you sit for a few moments. You forgot your keys again, didn't you?

[grubhivemind]

AURYHN: -it's a BEAUTIFUL MORNING. of course, every morning on avalon is beautiful if you ask auryhn, but skaia is nice too... he decides to spend this time with kavi, dropping in at his apartment to invite him out for brunch.- 

AURYHN: -KNOCK KNOCK on kavi's door.-

KAVI: =Finally his board charged up enough to get him home.... yeah he  could walk but who the fuck even WALKED anymore. Bums without hoverboards is who. His watch vibrates with an alert someone knocking on his door. Tapping at the interface he sees it's Auryhn... Yay! Wait. SHIT. Some more watch tapping and he patches himself through his home audio and pulls up his wind resistent mouth piece.= who is it? =Sing-songy like he already knows. PCHOOOOOS back home=

AURYHN: -grins, completely UNAWARE of the situation.- It's me~! ~}==> -replies just as cheesily.-

KAVI: =bless his soul= ooh hi Me, i don't know any Mes but since this Me sounds strapping and attractive how can i not let them into my home? be right there =Disconnects and descends= 

KAVI: =He could slow down.... but that's for wimps. Taps more at his watch to open his balcony doors. Capchas the board, action rolls in and jogs across the room to open the door. Leaning there heavily, panting lightly= hello lover ;)

AURYHN: -still wearing that dorky smitten grin of his.- Good morning, deerheart! ~}==> 

AURYHN: You look-- -pauses to actually inspect him.- Winded? ~}==>

KAVI: =Deerheart.... what a nerd. Leans up to kiss his cheek= lol... windswept maybe =Don't mind the bags... which he knows he has so he shrugs= 

KAVI: uh, yknow... long night

AURYHN: -frowns sympathetically- I see... Then you haven't slept? ~}==> -he spots those bags.-

KAVI: =Mmm, it's tempting to lie but that's not really useful to anyone. He just casts a glance down the hallway. Casual like= nnnnot in the traditional sense 

KAVI: but i'm still good, just not tired

AURYHN: So it's a matter of restlessness ~}==> -he concludes, and then considers this.- 

AURYHN: Very well! Then we have no choice but to find methods of relaxing you! ~}==> -he's decided this is his project for today and carefully turns kavi around to march him back inside his apartment.-

KAVI: =Waffles and hashbrowns though... not that he was aware of the plans he's just glad to spend time with Auryhn= lol yeah we can if you want 

KAVI: =is marched back in-- oops he left the balcony doors open... Boop boop beep on the watch and closes them= i'm ready to be soothed by your smooth jazz stylings babe 

KAVI: take me away like i'm Natasha Bedingfield, minus all the stoners planting labels on my lyrics. it's not weed guys, calm down

AURYHN: -eyeballs the balcony doors as he catches a glimpse of them closing. hmm... suspicious... but he won't worry about it too much for now, plopping kavi down onto his couch and immediately giving his shoulders a rub.- Jazz, hmm? That's an excellent idea... Let's put on some soothing music! That always helps me ~}==> -of course, soothing music for him is heavy metal-

KAVI: =Mmm the rubs. Bless these strong troll man hands. Grinning because... yes... he knows this= are you going to sing me to sleep on a bitchin guitar riff, Pegasus?

AURYHN: I could if you wanted me to! ~}==> -grins, leans in to kiss his cheek- 

AURYHN: However, I have a feeling that would only excite you more ~}==> -chuckles, releasing his grip on kavi's shoulders to produce his comm, hooking up a little speaker to it before he settles on a playlist. some jazzy chill beats he thinks kavi will like. it's relaxing... but romantic too. a win-win for everybody.-

KAVI: =huffs a soft laugh= excite is a word they use for it, sure 

KAVI: =This musical choice is good though, he does love his slow jams and tbh the saxophone is one of the sexiest instruments?  Was Auryhn behind him or next to him? Either way there's arms in his direction. Let the cuddles commence tho=

AURYHN: -yes, good, he's leaning back against the couch with kavi wrapped up tight in his arms. he allows for quiet to prolong between them so the music can fill the air and their senses. but after a moment, he speaks again, softly.- 

AURYHN: Tell me... Is there something on your mind that's keeping you awake? ~}==>

KAVI: =Yesss. He's still not really tired. Mentally at least but his body is a tad peeved with him riding around for most of the night. Legs especially. They're kind of flipping him off. So he's snug against Auryhn-tiddy just listening to he music and jamming lazily with small bobs of the head or hums to repeat chords . Honing in whenever Auryhn speaks though= 

KAVI: mmmn. kinda, maybe i guess. 

KAVI: it's never really... a thing, like, it might start out that way but then it's like fuckin rabbits in all manners of speaking

AURYHN: Ah, yes... I can relate to an escalation like that ~}==> 

AURYHN: Surely there's a root issue we can focus on and work from there... Or perhaps we could focus on any thought at all! I only know that burning off energy is only so successful when battling your inner demons ~}==>

KAVI: gets you ripped as fuck though =rubs Auryhn's chest and tum, pat pat pat pat= 

KAVI: choice 

KAVI: .... but uh, i guess still thinkin about dem bois. especially with shit having hit the fan.... Colt seems 

KAVI: fine? maybe. i mean, he was eating bones so probably not, not that i'm one to judge someone's bone intake 

KAVI: Joel... idk, haven't heard from him.... not that i messaged him. which is helpful 

KAVI: so. just makes me wonder, if i'm doing this shit right i guess =traces lines over his stomach=

AURYHN: Surely your brothers know how deeply you care about them... ~}==> -rubs at his shoulder- 

AURYHN: This feud is their own, and it is their responsibility to rectify whatever has driven them to such extremes... Though, I can't say I know exactly what's going on between them! ~}==> 

AURYHN: But I know plenty about sibling rivalry... Slepna and I rarely see eye-to-eye, but there is a bond much stronger between us that no disagreement can break ~}==> 

AURYHN: It's the same for them, and the same for you... I believe they'll work it out! And if they require your help in doing so, they will seek it ~}==> 

AURYHN: I do not doubt you've made yourself available to them... However, if you're worried, I don't think it would hurt to simply check in on them ~}==>

KAVI: ... i did talk to Joel, and i mean that's me reaching out i guess and it went about as i guessed it would.... 

KAVI: still that was like. a day before everything fucking happened 

KAVI: "maybe" is a shitty word but hey, maybe if i cracked less jokes and tried to get serious and talk to them 

 KAVI: if you and Slepna hypothetically had your heads up your respective asses then wouldn't, you want someone there with a crowbar to assist in dislodging?

AURYHN: Ah... Well... Perhaps not ~}==> -chuckles- 

AURYHN: We are both very stubborn and prideful, as you know! This does seem to be the case with Colt and Joel as well ~}==> 

AURYHN: Still, approaching it more seriously might help! If they see how it effects more than just themselves... It could give them some perspective ~}==>

KAVI: =snorts softly= yeah i'm pretty aware :P 

KAVI: ...guess that means i shouldn't give 'em the other end of the crowbar then..... they've probably been through enough... maybe let it. calm down 

KAVI: =And not do anything haha..=

AURYHN: At the very least, allow yourself to calm down... I hate to see you out of sorts because of it ~}==> 

AURYHN: You're a good brother, Kavi... There's no need to feel so responsible for them ~}==> -presses a kiss to his head-

KAVI: =Exhales softly and nuzzles into him. He felt a bit like less than a good brother what with all the secrets, how long it took and had taken him to be bit more open around his siblings about actual things.= 

KAVI: thanks, i'll try... =sighs...... inahles and sighs harder.... sits up on the sofa to gently headlock Auryhn and flops over his lap to drag him down to cuddle. SIGHS LOUDLY AND DRAMATICALLY.= alright that's more than enough about me, tell me how my Champion's doing. also you too,how are both my babies?

AURYHN: -OOF, he chuckles, reclining further and wrestling him into snuggles.- We're in tip top health, as usual! ~}==> 

AURYHN: There's been an awful lot of funny business happening around Avalon... Not that this is terribly unusual, but there have been some disappearances... ~}==> -frowns- 

AURYHN: We're doing what we can, but it's been a challenge to find any leads regarding their whereabouts ~}==>

KAVI: =Good. This is his now, has a loose hold on him and plays with the ponytail. Pulls a face= 

KAVI: that's super not great... yikes 

KAVI: is it town disappearances or is this diving into the unknown junglescape where nothing makes sense and is super, incredibly not fantastic at all?

AURYHN: Well... It is likely they are connected to the paranormal phenomenon of the forest ~}==> 

AURYHN: In fact, it seems very likely they were just spirited away! But I'm certain there is still a way we can rescue them ~}==>

KAVI: yeah it's definitely not great. just careful while you're out there, kay? =He loves the heroic aspect of Auryhn's personality but it could also get him into some dangerous fuckin happenings. Avalon isn't the most dangerous place sans for the forest.... and since this probably involved that he's worried= 

KAVI: don't go around sayin shit like "wow, can't believe my retirement is today" or "man this has been such a good day, what could possibly go wrong?" 

 KAVI: also "i love living and being alive" =puts hand over his mouth briefly= also "oh HUN i'll never disappear" then you do your signature brawny laugh and give me a dorky grin and i look into the camera and scream on the inside

AURYHN: BUT I DO LOVE LIVING AND BEING ALIVE! I HAVE TO SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD! ~}==> -GUFFAW- 

AURYHN: I understand your concerns... And believe me, the last thing I want to do is endanger myself! I'm no help to anyone dead ~}==> -says reassuringly-

KAVI: =Babe please, he snickers and rubs Auryhn's face= 

KAVI: truuueeeee =Smooches that face= 

KAVI: who else am i going to imagine when i'm feeling my inner Bonnie and start holding out for a hero?

AURYHN: I can hardly imagine anyone else who quite fits the bill! ~}==> -FLEXES and also returns the smooch.-

KAVI: =:eyes: flex and touches. Yessssss. Still Kavi puts on a coy smile, casually pawing Auryhn's muscles= i can think of a guy KAVI: he's the strong, strapping type

AURYHN: -gasps- Oh really? Who? ~}==> -WHO IS THE OTHER DOG. he will fight him.-

KAVI: yeah man, maybe you've seen him =gently undoes that ponytail and combs his fingers through Auryhn's hair= he's enthusastic, a good dude 

KAVI: great ass which is essential to heroism 

KAVI: goes by the moniker A-a-ron 

KAVI: there's been a distinctive lack of spandex but an influx of deep-vs which i appreciate greatly