#OH YEAH 6. stop trying to turn the word disordered into a dirty word stop acting like we're better than ppl with things like-

[lovef0ols]

if you aren't autistic you have 0 right to talk over autistic people. stay out of it. stop infantilizing us.

[scripted-dalliances]

Rest In Peace: Chapter Six

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 6

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

“No, love, in real life you can get all the way to death and never have finished one single story." -Catherynne M. Valente

+

“I can't believe I'm doing this.” Laura tells herself, looking at the open deep freezer before her. What had started as a seedling of a threat from Sweeney, had now become a reality of her own making because she could feel herself getting squishy.

She had moved what she could, shoving it into a different freezer across the way. Piling things that wouldn't matter next to it. If Ostara really cared about the damp bag of peas, she would buy her a new bag. Correction, she would make someone who was tall and ginger buy a new bag. This was technically his idea.

With help from an overturned bucket, Laura climbs in and lays down. The deep freezer is wide and long enough that it's an easy feat if she curls on her side. She can't really feel the cold any more, but she does relax a bit. No longer feeling like she's about to melt, or worse, start dropping limbs like a break dancing leaper.

-but the silence becomes an issue. And the darkness.

Laura forces herself to fake breathe in deep and out, twice before accepting defeat and pushing the freezer back open.

With renewed energy, she climbs out and rushes up the stairs, back into the massive kitchen where she finds Sweeney about to bite into a sandwich.

“I need your help.” She admits, and it pains her, it really does. The last time she asked for help...shit she doesn't even remember. Its like taking a knife to her own guts. But somehow, in the after math of his little story time, she finds the words slip out easy as a sin.

Sweeney looks angrily at her, then to the sandwich in his hands. Then back again, clearly struggling to make a choice.

“You can bring the damned sandwich. I don't care.” She tells him, only to promptly turn back down the stairs so she doesn't have to argue with him.  She waits on top of the bucket until he shows up. He takes one glance at the freezer then at her and frowns.

“I thought we were good.”

“We are.” As good as either of them could get. Her being dead, him her killer and the god that decided to fuck with them both gone. Obviously there was remaining issues but they were working on them. “I need you to talk to me while I chill in here. So I don't feel like I'm about to melt into a goo.”

“...You want me to talk?”

“Yup.” She chirps. Opening the freezer once more to climb in, back into the winter darkness that awaited. This time, when it shuts closed, she waits to hear his voice.

Finally after a beat, she hears him.

“What exactly do you want me to say?”

“I don't care.”

She can't see it, but she knows he's rolling his eyes.

“How about I tell you of the time some undeserving bastard stole my coin and how I met the smallest, bitterest dead bitch in the world?”

Laura grins widely, knowing he can't see.

“Yeah. Okay. Tell me that one.”

+

He tells her tales. Some from his past, now that she knows, he can tell her the bits and pieces that aren't important. That only he knows, that only matter to him. He tells her of the Gods and Goddesses he has met, working for the man she knows as Wednesday who would later be revealed as Odin. He tells her how some of them are doing just fine, how others live in the gutter. Which ones he likes. Which ones he hates with a passion.

Who chased him from their doorsteps and who tried to eat him.

He tells her about the time he went on a drunken rampage and burned down a Lucky Charms factory.

About the time he got into a fist fight with an Irish nun in New York because she wouldn't stop bad mouthing his kind. He had been young and bitter, and following some young lad who still believed.

“Who won?” Laura's voice echoes out from the deep freezer.

Sweeney grins, “I fuckin' did. Cops saw her throw the first punch, hauled her away.”

Laura laughs, and he decides to tell her about the time in Las Vegas, he saw three strippers of various stages of undress bitch slap Odin. How when he went to defend the old dirty bastard, they kneed him in the junk and stole his wallet.

All because they were all sisters of Lady Luck.

That one makes her laugh hard enough to pop her jaw out of its alignment.

+

“Your turn.” Sweeney proclaims hours later. The night is nearly over, and he's not slept but it's not a problem. He doesn't feel tired.

“My turn?”

“Tell me a tale.”

“Nah,” She drawls, “I mean, the dead tell no tales, remember?”

“Cop out.” He tells her, throwing a pea he found on the floor at her freezer.

A whole minute passes in silence before she speaks again.

“How about I tell you about the time some asshole leprechaun tried to bully me?”

“Aye, tell me that one then. He sounds like a handsome lad.”

+

Laura isn't the best story teller, but she manages to spin a web of interest. More than once getting distracted by a minor twist that she has to explain. Or to defend her choice, because Sweeney isn't a good listener and he wants to argue with her just to drive her up the wall. There are points in stories where she has to raise her voice just to keep it going over him.

She has to fight to tell her tales.

She tells him of the time her mother had an affair with her Sunday school teacher, and that's probably what jump started her apathy for religion. He mocks that maybe that's just how her mother choose to pray to her god.

She tells him about meeting Shadow, and he complains how lame of a meeting it is. She argues that it's a lot more interesting than most.

Finally she tells him about the world of sand, the God judging her and the feather instead.

“...Shit. That sounds like Mr.Jacquel. Or Anubis if you’re dead. Cheerful bugger was he? Haughty as the Pope and twice as judgmental? Wears a black smock like a granny at a funeral?”

“That doesn't make sense...but yeah. Why, he on Odin's side too?”

“No. He doesn't pick sides. Death gods don't have troubles like the rest of us do as much. They just get bored, go mad with it before they fade. Grimnir was friendly enough with ‘em, but only because they owed him a favor or two. What did you do?”

Laura thinks about lying, of telling him that she was drawn back before anything could be done.

Instead, she finds herself telling him the truth, “He tried to reach for my heart and I smacked his fucking hand. Then told me he had to weigh my heart against a fucking feather of all things.”

“That's how they do it, I hear there was one that ate your sins or something like it. Was he there?”

“Never got that far. I slammed my hand down on his stupid little scale. Good or bad, I lived my life and it sure as fuck wasn't light as a feather.” Laura recalls the god's stunned expression, that quickly turned into simmering anger at her attitude. “He told me I was to go to darkness. Not peaceful nothingness, darkness. To be crammed into a hot tub like the one I attempted to killed myself, complete with bug spray. So I told him to go fuck himself.” She still remembers how she felt. Pissed off and cheated.

Maybe she didn't believe in a fluffy cloud heaven, and more over knows she doesn't meet the requirements to get through those particular pearly gates but it had seem unfair regardless. If she hadn't believed, if she had simply vanished from the world that would have been better. Easier to accept.

Instead she felt insulted and punished for not believing at all, in anything. For not making a choice. And that wasn't even mentioning she wasn't even suppose to die, that gods had interfered with the course of her life for their own personal gain.

“Oh, I bet he was pissed. No one likes disorder like Mr. Jacquel.”

“He was fine with it last time I saw him.”

The lid of the freezer is lifted, Sweeney peers down at her, “You saw him again?”

Laura leans up onto her elbows, “Yeah. After I punched the shit out of those guys for hurting Shadow. I tore my arm off, and was trying to piece it back together with Aubrey’s crafting supplies. Next thing I know I’m bumping into him and his brother. They offered to stitch me up and give me a make over.”

His face contorts into clear confusion.

“The gods of death gave you a bloody make over.”

“You got a hearing problem? Yes. Why?” Laura stood up, only mildly annoyed with the fact that even in the box she was hardly reaching his neck. “I got the impression they didn't care what I did. So what does it matter? You said yourself they don't really pick sides.”

“Aye, when it comes to Grimnir and his war, no. They keep to themselves, on occasion they help out for a favor but that doesn't mean they ain’t got their own agendas. That's every god, dead girl. Not a single damn one of them does something for nothing. Not even Jesus Christ himself.”

He has a point.

“All he said was that I had a heavy heart, and oh man, didn't that suck. Oh, and some bullshit about vowing to return me to darkness.”

“Well it is the man's job.”

Something clicks, “Why is that?”

Sweeney sucks in a deep breath and rolls his eyes, “If I have to fuckin’ explain the ins and outs of what it means to be a god of death, I will cut my own throat with a fuckin' butter knife. His real name is Anubis, surely you took an ancient history class once or twice. Or has the American educational system become that bad?”

“It has, but not my question. I meant why him. I didn't believe in anything, that's what he told me himself. So why the hell was Anubis the Egyptian god of death in charge of my, clearly not Egyptian ass?”

It's a good enough question to stump the leprechaun for a moment or two, eventually offering a hesitant, “Coulda been the ol one eyed bastard again.”

“Question is still why, numb nuts. I was dead, super buried and all that jazz. No way in hell he accounts for Shadow getting your coin and him dropping it on my grave. What would have been the point of him going the extra mile of hiring Anubis to deal with me. I mean, if we are going by that logic, wouldn't it be easier to send one of the Jesus Christ super stars, someone I would have easily recognize and maybe not question if he just kick me down to hell?”

“I've only met the brothers twice, all I know is that they have a crazy cat sister and a crazier missing brother. Rest of the family is either rumors or gone. They've been running that funeral home for ages, neither of them have a taste for trouble or war. All they really seem to care about is hearing a good story and getting a good nibble on the dead.”

Which, holy shit why did no one mention that had to be something she worried about now.

“You mean they could have eaten me?”

“Not you, dead girl. To them you are a questionable chicken salad sandwich from the gas station gone bad. They like their meat a bit fresher.”

“Thanks.” She glowers, debating whether or not to punch him but when she goes to peer over the edge of the freezer, finds that something is missing. “Where's my bucket?”

“Oh, you mean my bucket? The one I had to sit on so my arse didn't go numb as fuck, sitting on the ground down here, talkin to you? Aye, that bucket is over there.” His joy evident as he points to said bucket,  which is a clear distance away from where she needs it to be. If she doesn't want to attempt to climb out of this damn thing like a toddler out of a crib.

“Go get my bucket.”

“My bucket, you mean.”

Laura feels the anger in her bubble up, “Either you get that bucket for me or I will stand up on this ledge, fling myself up at your stupid head and rip out every single strand of ugly hair you have. Including your fucking nose hair!”

“You can’t reach, cunt!”

“Wanna fucking bet?”

Laura makes a false pinching attempt towards him, and he steps back so quick he almost trips over his own feet. She smiles, satisfied at his growl until he stomps over and picks her up. Massive, strong hands wrap around her waist and for a second she is weightless.

She has always been a tiny woman, shorter than most, and that meant she was used to people; mostly men hauling her up. She didn't hate it, and even enjoyed the action with Shadow but normally it was just the sensation of being carried up. Of her toes leaving the ground and her weight being rested against someone's chest or arms.

Like she's something to carried, luggage turned burden because that's what happens. They pick her up, twirl her around and only then, realize slowly she is heavy in different ways.

She isn't what they expect hidden under her appearance, of a slim girl with no scars to see. She is dense bones and tense muscle, lacking sweetness and kindness, with a heavier heart than most. That’s when they put her down. Or let her down. Which ever comes first.

It's different with Sweeney, in his grasp she feels lighter. Like she's made up of something soft and airy, like spun cotton candy from a carnival. All because his strength completely envelops her, forcing her to realize this is him weak. This is him without his luck that currently rest in her belly, and yet it's still enough to make her feel as though she was floating.

Shit, if this is half of what people felt in the arms of their patron of worship, she could understand.

Unconsciously, she reaches out before he can let her go. Touching his wrists where they rest on her waist, making him go still. Obviously he had meant to just help her out, but she isn't ready to let this feeling go, not  just yet.

It's nothing like kissing Shadow, where she felt her heart beat, like she was drinking down a new born star and would happily implode if she could have just consumed her fill of him and his warmth; his love, she had wrongly assumed.

This, makes her lungs expand and draw in air. She exhales slowly, sharper than before. Like for once she needs to breath.

“What is this? What's happening?” She feels rather than sees his shrug, the bunching of his arms the way his pulse jumps under her thumbs.

“Your guess is good as mine, dead girl.”

Laura’s mind races. Nothing makes sense. Sure they swapped some stories, and she did her best to keep an open mind but surely it's not that easy? Getting an oil change is harder.

“It feels…” She can't explain.

Sweeney shifts subtly, enough for her to look up at him and gauges his guilty expression.

“Don't make this weird.”

“I ain't!”

“You so are.”

-and just like that, he is dropping her completely. Pulling his hands away and stalking back up the stairs. Muttering darkly under his breath.

Before he can shut the door, Laura shouts.

“That was a weird reaction, by the way.”

He slams the door so hard it cracks.

>

[bloodlinesbabe93]

Welcome To The Undisputed Era~ Part 3

Tagging: @thebutterflygirl16 @jerseygirl1290

Mentions of Self Harm, Abuse, Rape, and Kyle being a dick

“good morning gorgeous” Adam says as my eyes start to open

“good morning” i say

“sleep well?” he asks

“yeah, how about you?” i ask

“i always sleep well with a pretty girl in my arms” he says

“i slept better in your arms last night than i have in a while” i say

“good” he says

“i don’t want to get up” i say

“me either, but we have to” Adam says sadly

“yeah, i don’t want dickhead to make a comment” i say

“i’ll punch him” Adam says

As if on queue there was a knock on the door and everyone walked into our room.

“aww look, Adam proved my point by sleeping with the little slut” Kyle says

“i’m going to fucking kill you” Adam says grabbing him by his shirt and holding him against the wall

“hey dickhead, it would be kinda hard for him to do anything” i say standing up showing him i was fully dressed in sweats and a sweatshirt

“how do i know you didn’t get dressed afterwards” Kyle says

Roddy yanks Kyle out of our room before Adam killed him

“out of curiosity why where you sleeping in the same bed?” Bobby asks

“because i feel safe with him” i say

“all we did is cuddle man” Adam says

“i was just curious, not trying to start anything” Bobby says

“alright i got him as far away from here as i could” Roddy says

“good.” Adam says

“we’re going to get breakfast if you want to come” Bobby says

“yeah let me get ready” Adam says

“i’m not really hungry but i’ll go to hang out with you guys” i say

“sweet, we’ll meet you in the lobby in half an hour” Bobby says as they exit our room.

“go ahead and get ready first, i’m going to take a shower” i tell Adam

he smiles, taking his stuff into the bathroom. i pull all of my stuff out of my suitcase. including my old friend. i know i told Adam i would try and stop but i can’t handle Kyle anymore. i hide it in my clothes, hoping he wouldn’t get suspicious. luckily when he came back into the room he didn’t seem to have a clue what was about to happen.

i don’t know what felt better, the warm water on my skin, or the razor blade sliding across my stomach. it definitely helped that i was finally able to cry without being in close proximity to the guys. I shouldn’t let Kyle’s words get to me, but its almost impossible, after 10 minutes of just standing there, i turn off the water, bandage myself up, and change into my outfit for the day. Jeans and t-shirt, keeping my hoodie close by incase i get ‘cold’. i hide the razorblade in my dirty clothes before i walk out of the bathroom and put my stuff into my suitcase.

“ready?” Adam asks as i finish zipping up my suitcase

“yeah” i say

“you aren’t wearing a sweatshirt?” he asks shocked

“its too hot, i was dying yesterday. but so afraid the guys would find out. that would be another thing for Kyle to make fun of me for” i say 

“i’m guessing you use the bracelets to hide the scars?” he asks

“yeah” i say

“and you forgot to wear them yesterday?” he asks

i nod 

“you haven’t harmed yourself recently right” he asks concerned

i could feel tears coming to my eyes

“y/n, why?” he asks concerned

“Kyle” i say

“where?” he asks. 

i lift up my shirt to show him the bandages. He wraps me tightly in a hug letting me cry.

“hey guys almost ready?” Bobby asks as he and Roddy walk through the door

“y/n what’s wrong?” Roddy asks sounding concerned

i don’t say anything. i was too afraid to speak.

“Kyle” was all Adam said

within seconds Bobby and Roddy are hugging me as tightly as Adam was

“don’t listen to that dickhead” Bobby says

“it’s too late for that, he’s gotten in her head” Adam says

“what do you mean?” Bobby asks

i sigh and lift my shirt showing them the fresh bandages from this morning

“please tell me this isn’t what i think it is” Bobby says

i remained silent

“y/n, please you can always talk to us, you don’t have to hurt yourself” Roddy says

“i’m trying to stop, and i was 4 months clean, until this morning. i can’t handle him anymore” i sob

“now it makes sense why you always cover up” Bobby says

“that’s only part of it. i figure nobody wants to see my ugly body anyway” i say

“y/n you are far from ugly” Adam says the others quickly agree with him

“you’re one of the most beautiful girls I've met, both inside and out” Adam says

“you’ve been through so much, that nobody should ever have to go through” Bobby says

“i don’t know everything, but i know you are incredibly strong” Roddy says

i start to tell him the story of my past. knowing he would probably understand more than anyone else

“see what i mean, you’ve survived so much abuse in the past, half the women i know wouldn’t have been able to make it through everything you have” Roddy says

“thanks guys” i say

“no need to thank us, we love you, you’re basically like another daughter to me” Bobby says

“how about we go get breakfast and leave dickhead behind” Roddy says

“sounds good to me” i say happily

“there’s that smile i love to see” Adam says

Adam takes our bags down to the car and loads them in. i climb in the back behind Bobby.

“you actually don’t have to sit in the middle this time” Roddy says

“i didn’t mind it, i’m small enough to fit with everyone having enough room” i say

“i know, but you were still smushed between me and Adam for the last 2 days” Bobby says

“better any of you than Kyle” i say

“true, even though i would have paid good money to see Adam hit him this morning” Roddy says

“i was ready to kill him” Adam says as he gets into the car

“oh trust me i know” Bobby says

“exactly why i pulled him out of there when i did” Roddy says

“so on a happier note what do you guys want to eat?” Roddy says

“food” i say which makes Adam laugh

“smart ass” Roddy says

“i don’t care, i’m not really hungry” i say

“why don’t you eat?” Bobby asks

“i told you last night, my medication causes me to not eat a lot, and i’m not really a breakfast person anyway” i say

“you need to atleast something y/n even if its small, its not good for your body to go that long without eating” Bobby says

“i feel like there is more you aren’t telling us” Adam says

“okay fine, I've struggled with an eating disorder since i was 15. happy now” i say

“hey, y/n look at me” Adam says

i look at him with tears running down my face

“listen, i want to help you, we all want to help you. we love you, i hate knowing that you hurt your body because of some assholes in your past and present, it tears me apart knowing that a beautiful girl is hurting” he says

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said anything” i say

“no, i’m glad we know so we can help you however we can” Bobby says

“you will get though this” Adam says

“but you have to eat, starving yourself isn’t going to help anything, wanting to be healthy is great, but going about it the wrong way hurts you” Roddy says

“obviously you don’t have to eat a lot, but just eat a little bit every few hours” Adam says

“i’ll try” i say

“even if its just some fruit, its better than nothing” Bobby says

Roddy pulls into a waffle house parking lot, my biggest challenge is going to be learning to eat.

“what are you going to get?” Adam asks me

“probably just a waffle, and bacon” i say

he smiles. i could tell he was happy i was atleast trying to eat.

of course being surrounded by wrestlers you learn that they eat a lot. i was actually proud of myself for what i ate, i managed to eat all of my bacon and most of my waffle. i could tell the guys were happy too.

“that’s the most I've eaten in months” i admit

“i’m just glad you're  something” Adam says

“now in a few hours, eat something small from catering” Bobby says

i nod. hoping that i wouldn't make myself sick from eating too much 

“so what do we have going on today?” i ask curiously 

“well, all we have tonight is a promo, before we start travelling back to Florida for NXT tapings.” Bobby says

“oh great”  i say sarcastically

“not a fan of long car rides i guess?” Bobby asks

“nope” i say 

“we’ll make it, we’re not going to drive the entire 18 hours in one day” Adam says trying to reassure me

“yeah, we’ll split it into like 2 days, so 9 hours of driving each day” Roddy says

“and i thought the 6 yesterday was bad” i say

“you’ll get used to it” Adam says

“i hope so, i’m tired from all the travelling” i say

“that’s why in car naps are the best” Adam says

“i never could fall asleep in moving vehicles” i say

“oh that sucks” Roddy says

“tell me about it” i say

“well hopefully that will change” Bobby says trying to remain positive

“hopefully” i say

“alright, lets head to the venue, we have to meet up with dickhead at some point” Roddy says

i reluctantly get in the car, knowing that i would have to face my worst enemy at some point in the near future. Once we arrive at the venue, Kyle starts walking over to our car with a smirk on his face.

“there you are guys, i’m happy you finally made it” he says

“quit lying” i say

“aww look at the little self harming whore trying to have a voice” he say

“Roddy and Bobby had to hold Adam back from killing him again

“get the fuck out of here you coward” Adam yells

“nah, i like messing with her”. he grabs me by my hair and pulls me over to him. “now listen here you little slut, i heard your little sob story. you may have them fooled but i see right through your little act” he says before shoving me to the ground and running away like the coward he is. Adam took off running after him, along with the rest of the guys

“are you okay?” i hear a female voice ask

i look up to see Candice standing above me with her husband

“yeah i’m fine” i say

“you sure? you look pretty shaken up” she says sitting next to me

“yeah, i’ll be alright, nothing i’m not used to” i say

she hugs me, i could tell she was genuine in her words and reactions. after a few moments, she stands up, and helps me up off the ground. 

“thanks” i say

“no need to thank me” she says smiling

i see Roddy and Bobby making their way back toward me.

“here, if you ever want to get away from them for some girl time, text me” she says as she puts her number into my phone

“i will, thanks” i say

“you’re welcome” she says 

“sorry we ran off, we wanted to make sure Adam didn't kill Kyle” Bobby says

“it’s okay” i say

i could see Adam walking back toward us, and he looked furious

“you okay y/n” Adam asks gently

“yeah i’m fine” i say

he tightly hugs me “i’m sorry i ran off, i should have checked on you first” he says

“no its okay, i’m glad you tried to defend me” i say

“when i see him again i’m going to punch him in the face” he says

“no you aren’t, you don’t need to get suspended” i say

“maybe we should talk to Regal about it” Bobby suggests

“that will probably just make things worse” i say

“yeah you're right” Bobby says

“its all my fault, you guys never fought before i arrived, now i’m here and its constant fighting” i say sadly

Adam lifts my chin to look up at him, “its not your fault y/n” he says

“i agree, it’s Kyle’s fault for having a massive ego, and not being able to get over himself” Bobby says

“lets just get this over with” i say as we start walking into the building. Today we had a little more downtime, since all we had was a promo that kicked off the show.

after an hour and a half of being at the arena, i decided to walk to catering and eat something. Thankfully i recognized a few familiar faces. Candice being one of them.

“hey y/n” she says

“hey” i say taking my place at the table next to her

“come to escape all the testosterone?” she asks

“more like escaping them because i don’t want to hear their plots on killing Kyle” i say

“what exactly happened earlier?” she asks

“i don’t know what his problem is, but the last couple of days he’s been rude, calling me a whore, slut, and making fun of me because of my past” i say

“i’m sorry, you don’t deserve that” she says

“i know, but i’m so used to being abused, i guess i’ve just learned to take it” i say

“you shouldn’t be used to it. a beautiful young girl like you deserves nothing but love” she says

“i know” i say

“which it seems like, you get plenty of that from Adam” she says

“he’s a sweetheart, and definitely looks after me” i say

“girl are you blind? he totally likes you” she says

“no, that’s impossible, nobody wants this broken girl” i say

“you aren’t broken love, so many people care about you and love you” she says

“sorry to interrupt, but we’re up in 20 minutes” Bobby says

“i have to go” i say

“good luck” she says

“i see you made a friend” Bobby says

“yeah, she’s a sweetheart” i say

“that she is” Bobby says as we walk back into the locker room

“i’ll be ready in 5 minutes” i say taking my shirt into the bathroom to change. 

“did you eat anything in catering?” Adam asks as i walk back into the locker room

“yeah, i fixed myself a little plate” i say

“i am so proud of you” he says

“i’m trying, just like i promised” i say

“and you’re doing great” he says

“alright come on you two, we have a promo to do” Bobby says

cocky. confident. obnoxious. that’s how this promo went. Kyle was an over the top asshole, its almost like he’s let his TV character take over. 

“good job everyone” one of the production assistants yells as the cameras are turned off

“alright you guys let’s head to the next town” Bobby says

“yayy 9 hours of driving” i say

“hey we’ll make it” Adam says trying to reassure me

i quickly change my clothes, getting into something more comfortable.

“i can’t wait to be home and sleeping in my own bed” Roddy says

“i just can’t wait to be home” i say

“tired of us already?” Adam asks trying to act offended

“not you guys, Kyle” i say

“aww she loves us” Roddy says

“that i do” i say

“alright lets get on the road, by the time we stop for dinner and stuff it’ll be midnight before we’re at the hotel” Bobby says

“i’ll meet you guys in the car, i want to go say by to Candice” i say

i walk down a long hallway, heading toward catering, when someone puts their hand over my mouth and pulls me into one of the empty locker rooms

“hey there little slut” Kyle says quietly. i struggle trying to break free, but no use. he was over powering me

“let me go” i say but you couldn’t really make it out since his hand was still over my mouth

“i don’t hate you, no far from it” he says as he takes my left hand and puts it on his private area, i could tell he was turned on

“now be a good little slut and let me fuck you senseless” he says as he tries to take my shirt off. before he is able to do anything i kick him between the legs and take off running toward the others. i run back down the hallway, out the exit and across the parking lot, quickly getting into the car.

“y/n are you okay?” Adam asks

i couldn’t even answer him. i broke down.

“hey what happened” Bobby asks

i had my head resting on my knees curled up in a ball while i sobbed.

Adam reached out and grabbed my hand. giving me the only sense of security I've had in the last few minutes.

“Kyle, he tried to rape me” i manage to choke out

The guys were all shocked.

“I was walking down the long hallway, toward catering when he grabbed me and pulled me into an empty locker room, he put my hand on his crotch and told me he was going to fuck me senseless” i say slowly, trying to keep my breathing under control

Adam doesn’t say anything, he just pulls ,e close to him. holding me tightly.

“i’m going to fucking kill him” he says

“he’s gone too far this time” Bobby says furiously

“don’t worry y/n you're safe, we won’t let him touch you again” Adam says

“i’m so scared” i say

“shh its okay” Adam says trying to soothe me

“we’re talking to Regal something has to be done”  Roddy says. the others agree with him.

“what if he gets what he wants” i say

“he won't lay another finger on you, i’ll make sure of it” Adam says

it was a long car ride, i couldn’t get comfortable, i was so afraid  he would see me and try again. i got lucky last time to have gotten away. Once again i shared a room with Adam. he has this magic charm and he seems to be able to calm me down. i just wanted to be in his arms tonight. He held me close. and i wrapped my arms around him. i felt safe in his arms. and it was my favorite place to be. the only place i felt safe. the only place i felt loved.

I was too afraid to sleep. Afraid somehow Kyle would break into our room. so i watched Adam as he slept. he looked so peaceful, and happy. it was kinda cute. i could feel him starting to stir, so i pretended to be asleep.

“i know you aren’t asleep” he says in his raspy morning voice

i opened my eyes knowing i was caught.

“scared?” he asks

i nod

“nothing will happen. i’m here to make sure of it” he says

he rubs my back, trying to help me relax and fall asleep. but there was no point. i was afraid. i pretended to fall asleep so he would go back to sleep and stop worrying about me. thankfully my plan worked. 

i just couldn’t shake the look in his eyes or the sound in his voice, it was almost demonic. 

[rhodirachel]

Ribbons | 2 | An Undertale Fanfiction

Chapters

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |

                                                    Summary

                                                                                                                Formerly known as “New Years Present”

Frisk deals with battles time and time again- her PTSD from the Underground, the constant hate between Humans and Monsters, and more. What will happen if she sinks too deep in something she cannot grasp?

Part of my/an original Undertale AU, REMTale.

Rating: M

Words: 2950

Relationships: Papyton, Frans, Alphyne

Warnings: Possession, PTSD, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder

FRISK -------

I stir in bed, even though my conscious won't realize that until I wake up with a painful backache. My dreams have been getting worse and worse, as my mind is trying to push all of the bad memories out of the way. Escaping the Underground wasn't the easiest thing, after all.

I'm crying. I'm crying and I'm trying to SAVE a loved one. I'm trying to make sure that for their last few moments, they can be happy. They can feel.

They can be happy.

I'm cut, and in places so deep, that they practically go down to the bone.

I'm calling out for help, but nobody came.

This is not how it happened.

I scream, and I feel the blast of what feels like a thousand suns knock me back into what feels like a never-ending Void. I can barely open my eyes. It's too painful.

Will my DETERMINATION run out, of all times to do so? No, it can't be. I refuse.

I slowly crawl along the floor, only when I look down there seems to be none of what I am speaking of. The bleeding certainly hasn't stopped, and I can certainly feel my mind sinking into its own void; void of any consciousness. Still, I try with all of my might to get to this loved one. I tug on his cloak. I will keep trying to SAVE him until the very end.

--------------------------------

I gasp and shoot up from my bed. I clutch my chest where my SOUL would be, and I cry out in pain. It's been very hard trying to recover from the wound; the massive chunk that had been taken away from my SOUL. Sometimes I can forget and feel as I had before we escaped, but it has been a tough road- dealing with the consequences of being so careless in the last fight to break the Barrier.

Toriel had apparently heard my crying and weeping, and rushed up the stairs into my room. She opened the door to see me with my arms wrapped around my legs, crying into my knees. She sat next to the bed and gave me the best hug that she could with me sitting like that. She knew it wasn't the best idea to try and pry me into stuff, mainly because she knew that I was one to deal with my own problems. And sometimes, hugs can't really fix things like this. They can't fix a broken SOUL. Even so, she stayed for a little while. She knew that even if I didn't want a hug at the moment, it wasn't that I didn't want her around. After I calmed down, she had decided to ask what had happened.

"I just had sort of a bad dream. It just made my SOUL hurt a lot."

She frowned; she knew why it hurt my SOUL so much.

"Well, I would stay determined. Alphys is working whenever she can to fix this wound."

I nod, and Toriel gives me a hug and a kiss goodnight before going back to bed.

Stay determined, huh?

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It's been about 2 or 3 weeks since the night of the party, where Sans had kissed me at the drop of the New Years party. I still was ecstatic over it, even though part of me felt troubled. I've heard of all the terrible things that happen to couples who are human and monster. I've never really heard a story of those types of couples that went quite well. It was either they were getting hurt, harassed, or sometimes even murdered. I try to shove it into the back of my mind, but it keeps popping up. It's not something that you can really escape from when you're the only human that came out from the mountain with a herd of monsters behind you. Now everyone is looking towards me, either in inspiration or in utter hatred. My chest aches at the thought of hurting anyone in my family just because I liked someone and wanted to be more than friends. My chest aches for other reasons as well, but it's something I have- over time- almost grown accustom to.

But something that bothered me the most was that I didn't just like Sans. I loved him. I loved him like a best friend, and even more so. We have been through everything together. He was even the first monster to ever meet me once I had escaped through the Ruins.

"Honey! Are you coming downstairs?"

Oh, yikes. There was Toriel calling for me.

"I'm coming! I will be down in just a second."

I run out of my room and head downstairs to the kitchen and dining table. On the table, there were the usual pancakes Toriel always made for breakfast. It is possibly the best food I have ever had in my entire life. I go to reach for a few pancakes so I could put them on my plate, and I made sure that Toriel remembered to leave the syrup and butter that was on the table. I notice Toriel comes over to the table and grabs some pancakes as well before she starts eating with me.

"Thanks for making breakfast this morning. How was your morning?" I asked.

"My morning was fine dear, and how was yours? Haha, it sure took you quite some time to get out of bed and downstairs."

"I'm sorry, I was just really slow today."

It was true. However, it wasn't really for the reasons that she was thinking about. I didn't want to tell her that the reason why I was slow was because of my wound. Mainly because she would worry about me, and I hate it when she worries about me.

"Ah, my child! I wanted to tell you that the photographs that we had all taken at the party for the new year have been finalized and printed out. I made sure that they were made to look their very best so that we may put the pictures up around the fireplace in the living room."

I couldn't help but crack a wild smile, "That's great! I can't wait to see what they look like, since- coming from you- they do look very spiffy." I wiggle my eyebrows at Toriel at the word 'spiffy'.

Toriel chuckles and we finish eating our breakfast together with small talk.

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I had helped Toriel clean up the plates and pans that she had used to make breakfast. After I had done that, we were supposed to go over to Papyrus' house to spend the day there with family and friends. I grabbed my coat, and Toriel and I had started down the road to go to Papyrus' house.

I was kind of hoping that I would see Sans when we went over to the house. Unfortunately, when Toriel and I arrived at Papyrus' house, he was nowhere to be seen.

"I'm sorry Sans hasn't come down! That lazybones just hasn't been getting the right sleep lately, I guess," Papyrus frowned.

I start to take off my coat and put it on the hanger, next to the front door. "Well, what's been happening to him?"

Papyrus sighed, "I don't know exactly. Sans has been staying up in his room quite a lot lately. Whenever I come to check in on him, it seems like he is fine. Always cracking those terrible puns. At night, though, I can hear him in his room. He's not doing well like he says he is. I just don't know why he can't talk about it to his cool, great brother."

Papyrus sits down on the couch and sighs. Toriel joins with him and tries to cheer him up; it usually works, since Papyrus isn't really one to be sad for long. I was curious about what Papyrus really meant, so I decided to go up into Sans' room myself to see how he was doing.

I walk up the stairs, and I knock on the door quietly. But nobody came. I tried knocking on the door a little louder, and I heard Sans shuffling. He didn't say a word, though.

Sans opened the door just a tad to see who it was. He saw that it was me, and his blackened sockets readjusted to their normal pinpricks.

"Hey, how are you doing?" His voice was all grumbly and low. I assumed that I just woke him up.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up. It's just that Toriel and I came over to hang out with you and 'Pap, and he said that you really weren't doing that well."

Sans sighs and opens up his door a little more.

"It's just- you know, um. You remember what happened before the Barrier broke, don't you?"

My breath hitches a little, and right after I don't exactly know why it did. It wasn't that serious or scary of a question.

"Y-yeah, I remember," I lean forward a tad away from the ones downstairs, "You do?"

Sans shook his head and gave me a funny look. I leaned forward even more, and I brought my voice down to a whisper.

"What do you mean, then?"

"I mean this."

Sans started to tug at his SOUL, and then Papyrus ran up the stairs. Sans stopped tugging his SOUL and gave Papyrus a sheepish grin.

"Hey 'Pap, how'ya doing?"

"You're finally out of that dirty bedroom you call yours!" Papyrus grabbed Sans and hugged him, "Maybe next time if something like this happens, we should just call Frisk. She'll fix things right up!"

I look over at Sans, still hugging Papyrus. His eyes were pinpricks no longer, as they turned as black as an abyss. Staring right at me.

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Papyrus had made Sans get dressed in clothes that weren't his pajamas, and made him come downstairs to hang out with us. Sans seemed a little hesitant, but he eventually did. He seemed really shaken the entire time Toriel and I were at the house. Then again, Papyrus described Sans as practically being like this in general now. I tried to cheer Sans up with whatever I could, and I could see it was working. Even if it was little by little. Around the evening when we were all finishing up a card game, I decided to ask Toriel something.

"Hey Mom, do you mind if I stay over at their place tonight?"

Papyrus jumped up in excitement. "It's going to be a sleep-over!"

I look over at Sans. I see his eyes soften a bit and he gives me a small smile of appreciation. If Sans and I are at least around each other, he can tell me what's going on. It also seems like it might make him feel a bit better.

Toriel nods, "Yes, you can stay over for the night. You still have to get up at the same time in the morning, though! I do need your help at the school."

I smile at her. I remember when we had first broken the barrier, and when I had told Toriel I wanted to live with her she started telling me all of her ideas about what she wanted to do when we had started a new life Above Ground. Her dream was to start a school for Monsters and Humans, and that is exactly what she achieved. She now lives in a small little cottage, just on the side of the campus of her school. RoseTail Elementary and Junior High School. Since I should be in my third year of high school, I can't go to the school to learn. Even so, Toriel homeschools me because she knows how much of a hard time I'd have going to a normal high school. During my days I'm either doing my own work, or I am tutoring kids- even teaching them from time to time. Sans comes around to help with the little things, and Papyrus comes around whenever he can get the chance to. He's usually busy with his real job since it's making sure Mettaton stays safe out in the Above Ground. Mettaton became a pop sensation, but with that came a lot of heat from humans. Papyrus is employed under MTT to provide security; being a bodyguard for Mettaton. I'm surprised he isn't over at Mettaton's house right now, actually.

"Hey 'Pap, something just came to me. Shouldn't you be over at Mettaton's place right now taking care of them?"

Papyrus looks over and explains, "Well, I decided to stay over at the house this week because I was worried about Sans. I told Mettaton, and they seemed alright with it. They would rather have me with them, but they understood and asked someone else to step in for me until Sans got better."

"Oh, okay. I was just wondering- we all remember what happened the night after the party."

Everyone looked down at the ground as it fell silent in the room. After the party had happened, Mettaton was really tired. Papyrus offered to escort them to their house, and then Papyrus was going to come back to the house to spend the night with me, Toriel, and the rest of the group. There was a group that had apparently been stalking Mettaton, and it was the same group that had apparently been leaving them death threats. The rest of the group never found out about any of the letters or the stalking until after the group had tried to assault Mettaton while Papyrus was taking them back to their house. Thank goodness Papyrus was there, he was able to 'send them away'. We worried that after the incident, Papyrus was going to have to partake in legal action. He did mess them up pretty badly, after all. That wasn't the case, though. The group never filed anything against MTT, Mettaton, or even Papyrus himself. Somehow that made me less worrisome, but even more concerned at the same time.

I smirk, thinking about it more. Papyrus isn't as innocent as everyone seems to think. At the very least, Papyrus isn't that naive and feeble when it comes to protecting the people he loves.

I said goodbye and goodnight to Toriel, and she had left. Papyrus, Sans and I all stayed up though to play more games and watch movies. Papyrus also insisted that we have a pillow fight, which we did. The night seemed great, and Sans also seemed like he was starting to feel better. Every now and then I could catch him staring at me, and he seemed to always have a sad smile on his face. Later on in the night, we had all cuddled up on the couch to watch some of Mettaton's old episodes and movies. A little while after, Papyrus had fallen asleep. It was just me and Sans now, and I could finally ask him about what he had meant earlier in the night.

I tug on my blankets a little more, and I bring them up to me. "Sans?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you talking about earlier, before Papyrus came up the stairs for us?"

There was a bit of silence. Eventually, Sans sighed and turned to me. "Look over here, kid."

I look over, and I stand there in shock when I see his SOUL. He has a large chunk taken out of his SOUL. Almost exactly like mine.

"W-Why? Did someone do that to you?" I stutter and flip.

"No, no. That's not what it is."

He turns away from me and starts to watch the TV again.

"Well, what is it then? You can't just show me something like that and not explain it at all. Is that why you have been feeling like this recently?"

He nods. "I don't really know how you can live like this, kiddo."

I look down at the ground before confusion starts to roll over me. "Wait, how do you know about my SOUL?"

"I could tell the very second after we had broken the Barrier that something was up. It didn't take for long for Toriel to spill the beans, once I had nagged her enough times about what was wrong with you." He's so nonchalant about it all, I almost start to get angry at him.

I sit back and I try to relax. I don't understand how he could have 'sensed' something like that, and why Toriel would even just go around telling people what had happened to me upon breaking the Barrier.

"I'm assuming you're wondering why, still."

"Yes."

"Well, Frisk. I had done it because of you."

I look over at him and shoot him a glare. "What?"

"Alphys couldn't find anything in the lab that would artificially fix SOULS on their own."

My eyes start to widen, and I look back at him in awe. "No... You don't mean..."

"Yep. I gave part of my SOUL for research. Because, if Alphys can fix you up and you can feel whole again, that's all I need in life."

He sits up and puts his hand on my shoulder to bring me closer in a hug.

"That's all I need."

Copyright 2017 © rhodirachel. All rights reserved.