#OH RIGHT THE TWO QUOTES were taken from tv shows asides from the middle one i have some OLD posts in the tags of where i took out of conte

[enjoliquej]

CUSICK, MY WORD IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I"VE DRAWN MY FAVORITE LITTLE FREAK!! take this as making up for the years I have neglected to draw him But yes, this is my favorite little guy who has EVERY DISEASE on adventure with my Agathe the local mad scientist, and they get up to all sorts of fun little mishaps including - Running from a psych ward used as warmongering research - Escaping raiders after they crashed a train - Getting unwillingly involved with corrupted politics - breeding rats

also @thedailyvio and I have tags for this story if you want to peruse 👉👈

@christian-oc-tournament

Please vote based on the picture AND the description!

Copper [@evelynmlewis]

Copper is an automaton - a machine in the shape of a human being. But she's more than that - she can walk and dance and speak and no one finds that more shocking than Copper herself, who seems to have an intrinsic presumption that she is a human being, but the evidence suggests otherwise. She was created by some inventor out there, for some unknown end, and that purpose is probably evil, since the main suspect in her creation is the Gentleman, the new dictator of Rostek - and he is hunting for her. Copper must hide and flee from this seemingly omniscient foe while trying to discover who she is and where she came from. (Sorry i wasn't willing to spoil more....) Copper is depressed and struggles with her identity and value and whether or not she believes she has a soul.

Cusick Weisflog [Magic and Cannons @thedailyvio]

Cusick is a disease mage, and the first of his kind in his world. Through sheer determination and years of work, he developed a staff capable of creating diseases from nothing. Rather than patent and sell the technology for a profit, he decided to sell his services to his country and employ it for the purposes of war. Despite his desire to be the envy of the world, he tends towards isolation. He lives in a hut in a swamp to ensure nobody can contact him or disturb his work. Despite his staff being his most impressive piece of work, his real pride lies in the rats he’s been breeding and modifying since he was in his early teens. He has a horde of them, each the size of cat, carefully training them and seeing to their health. Cusick is easily described as narcissistic, motivated mostly by the hope of recognition and enduring spite. He believes people mostly ignore him out of jealousy or stubborn refusal to admit they were wrong. He considers humanity to be of little value, but he is clearly the best of them, so it would only be right for him to be acknowledged! He doggedly spends years of his life in the pursuit of this alone. He is well into adulthood by the time he makes his first real friend who challenges much of his worldview by being the exception to every rule he’s constructed in his own mind.

[classic-queeries]

Holden C*ace*field: Asexuality and Representation

Some background: At the end of my junior year of high school we read Catcher in the Rye in my American Lit class. A friend pointed out a quote to me and said “hey, Holden kinda seems asexual to me.” I hadn’t been particularly interested in the book before she pointed it out, but once I read the quote I saw what my friend saw. Further reading absolutely convinced me that Holden was demisexual.

My English teacher however, did not have the best history with queer coding. When we read The Great Gatsby many in my friend group were convinced that Nick Carraway was gay. When one friend brought it up in class, however, she got shot down almost immediately. The teacher only brought up queer coding once, in reference to The Scarlet Letter, saying that Chillingworth was gay because there was subtext that he sexually assaulted Dimmesdale. Which, if you’ve read the book? Not the conclusion I’d jump to. He kept using the words “homoerotic subtext” which also did not sit well with us. 

Needless to say, I did not bring up my demi-Holden theory in class. I did not want to deal with the teacher shutting me down like he had my friend. So instead, after AP tests and I’d handed in my last major paper for the year, I wrote an essay. Full semi-formal style, MLA formatting, definitions of everything, multiple sources and examples all correctly cited. Nothing he could fight me on.

And you know what he did? He fought me on it by throwing my argument back at me without the label. What followed was a few days of me stomping around, ranting to my friends that had helped me with this about how he wasn’t listening to me. I stopped the communication after a few back and forth exchanges. I was getting nowhere.

I’m still proud of the essay. I would classify it as one of the better things I’ve written, simply because it was an argument I actually cared about. So I’d like to share it, share why I relate to Holden even in a small way, because maybe it’ll help someone else.

–Mod Sherlock

When I first ran across the word asexual I didn’t think it applied to me. But it turns out whatever definition I had read was wrong. Asexual simply means that one does not experience sexual attraction. I’ve come to terms with that, and embrace my being asexual, or ace, proudly. You’ll see me down at Pride in June having fun with my friends, decked out in purple, black, and white. Problem is that not many people know about us. The last GLAAD survey had aces as about four percent of millennials (Accelerating Acceptance 2017). That is a bigger estimate than the last one we had at one percent back in 2004.

Of course, asexulaity is kinda an umbrella term. That GLAAD survey involves aces, demisexuals, and graces. I myself identify as asexual because I cannot conceive of what exactly sexual attraction is. People look at someone else and go, “I’d hit that,” or they appear in sexual fantasies? I literally cannot make sense of it. Many people have tried to help, none succeeded. I know a few people who identify as demisexual, which means that they only experience sexual attraction to someone once they form a deep emotional bond. They have to be dating the person, or close friends, or any other number of meaningful relationships, before they experience sexual attraction. There are others who identify as grey-asexual, grace, which means that they have only limited experience with sexual attraction. They may only experience it intermittently, maybe only once or twice in their life. This differs from demi in that they may experience it without the deep emotional bond. Asexuality is best thought of as a spectrum. The ace spectrum is from allosexuals, those who do feel sexual attraction, to aces, with demi and graces somewhere in the middle (AVEN).

The fact that we don’t experience sexual attraction doesn’t mean that we aces can’t have meaningful relationships. The split attraction model (SAM) is about the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. People can have two different orientations for different attractions. I have several panromantic asexual friends, who experience romantic attraction to all genders, yet no sexual attraction. There are homoromantics, biromantics, heteromantics, every sexuality has a romantic equivalent. This of course includes asexuality as well; those who don’t experience romantic attraction identify as aromantic. I identify as an aromantic asexual because romance is an enigma. Like, what the hell even is romance? Going out on a date with someone? Movies are more fun with more people, why not bring a couple friends? Ice cream or food? How is that a date? Romance is entirely dictated by societal norms and I, for one, am tired of it. Why should I be expected to date anyone if I don’t want to? And why is it that everytime I walk home with a male friend I get people asking me if we’re dating the next day and every time I think “oh my god no we’re neighbors he’s gay and I’m aroace what the flippity fuck people.” But I digress.

The SAM stems from the fact that there are many different types of attraction, some of which are easy to confuse with sexual attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction exist and are often conflated. A common attraction variation for aces to use is aesthetic attraction, which is simply thinking that someone looks nice. I can think that someone looks pretty in a military dress uniform without being sexually attracted to them. In addition there is sensual attraction, which means that someone experiencing it wants to interact in a tactile but non-sexual way. For instance, Carrie Fisher? Was very huggable. Both aesthetic and sensual attraction are extremely easy to confuse with sexual attraction and are often so intertwined that a person cannot tell them apart. Sensual has a sexual connotation for some people but i’ve never seen it used in a sexual way. In addition, I know that before I realized I was ace I would categorize who I considered ‘sexually attractive’ by who was aesthetically pleasing and just called that sexual attraction.

Enough with the SAM, though we’ll get back to it. A common misconception about asexuals is that we don’t have sex as a rule. That’s blatantly wrong, that’s the definition of celibacy. We have different levels of comfortability with sex. Some are sex-positive, which means that they enjoy or even want sex. Others are sex-ambivalent, meaning that they don’t particularly care either way. Still more are sex-repulsed, which means that they viscerally consider sex gross and do not want to participate in it or even talk about it depending on the extent of their repulsion. Like everything, this is a spectrum. Allos can also have these opinions on sex, they are not limited to aces.

The major problem that most asexuals face is ignorance. The estimated number of asexuals was so low in 2004 partly because there just isn’t wide enough knowledge about us. That number rose three percent in the past thirteen years in part because AVEN, the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, was formed and started to help spread word. Yet we are still ignored and pushed aside, even pathologized:

“….because sexuality is taken for granted as necessary to normalcy and normative bodies….asexuality is and has been historically diagnosed as a problem in need of medical reress and treatment….[the DSM has] “hypoactive sexual desire disorder” (DSM-III-R 1987)….”female sexual interest/arousal disorder” and “male hypoactive sexual desire disorder” (DSM-V 2013). Such labels indicate that low levels of sexual desire were seen by sexology and continue to be regarded by scientific medicine as ‘unhealthy’ and abnormal, reflecting more broadly on society’s negative attitiudes toward asexuality” (Przybylo 186).

Sexual attraction is so pervasive in our society that when someone doesn’t feel it they’re treated like they have a mental illness. I’m sure there are more examples of this, but I don’t have the stomach to go looking for more. I had to talk myself out of looking through the DSM for myself, I don’t need to find more examples of bigotry and prejudice.

Even so, I find unintentional (I hope) examples of aphobic attitudes in my own classroom. Calling sexual attraction “normal” hurts. That tends to imply that anything against the norm is bad, to be shunned and destroyed. I’m reminded of a song by my favorite band, called “We Are the Others,” which has the lyrics: ���Normal is not the norm/ It’s just a uniform/ Forget about the norm/ Take off your uniform/ We are all beautiful”(Delain). “Normal” is not a thing. Everyone is weird to someone else, but that doesn’t give one reason to be a bigot.

On top of this ignorance is the fact that erasure is so common in what little media we have. There was a recent TV show based of a series of comic books from Archie called Riverdale. One character, Jughead Jones, was an aroace in the comics (Riseman). In the TV show they erased Jughead’s aromanticism by placing him in a clearly reciprocated relationship with Betty, and his asexuality is up in the air, but likely erased as well (Alexander). Riverdale is just one of a few that erase ace identities. Most a-spec characters are in obscure books that you would never hear of if you didn’t go looking for them, or in webcomics which are unlikely to gain a mainstream audience. There has not been a mainstream confirmed ace character. Ever. This erasure and ignorance is what makes headcanons so important. I headcanon many of my favorite characters as ace because I relate to them so well, so why shouldn’t they share my sexuality as well? That’s why when I find a character that has a wealth of canon evidence that they might be aspec, I find the bandwagon and start driving.

So when I realized that Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye might be asexual I hopped right onto that bandwagon and hit the gas. It was actually one of my friends that pointed out that Holden might be asexual. I read the quote they sent me, and immediately poured myself into the book. I kept notes on everything that Holden did, everything he said, that seemed like he might be aspec to me. As I read I related more and more to Holden, and I am convinced that Holden is aspec. I propose that Holden is a heteromantic demisexual who, having never seen the terms, confuses sensual and aesthetic attraction for sexual.

Before I get into the meat of it, let’s clear up one thing: asexuals can still get aroused. I mean, it’s a little hard to have sex without that and some of us do have sex no matter what some people seem to think. There is an important distinction for aces, however. In her article “Introducing Asexuality, Unthinking Sex,” Ela Przybylo writes that “Scholars who study the physiology around asexuality suggest that people who are asexual are capable of genital arousal but may experience difficulty with so-called subjective arousal. So when the body become aroused, subjectively-at the level of the mind and emotions-one does not experience arousal”(183). This is a very important distinction. Aces may have general arousal, but we have nothing to direct it at. Our mind is separate from our body in this case. There’s one line in Catcher about Holden feeling horny: “After a while I sat down in a chair and smoked a couple of cigarettes. I was feeling pretty horny. I have to admit it” (Salinger 63). This is after he walks into the hotel and sees several indiscrete people doing rather sexual acts on the balcony. What strikes me about this is that, despite feeling some general arousal, he just sits down and smokes a cigarette. This may be just me misunderstanding, but people do not just sit down and have a smoke when horny? That doesn’t seem like something an allosexual would do. In addition to that, Holden does not seem to be reacting to a particular instance and has nowhere to direct his attentions. His body may be reacting to the ‘perverts’ on the balcony, but his mind is completely clear. Holen is not experiencing subjective arousal. As stated above, this is generally an ace thing.

Another very ace thing Holden does is hire a prostitute then ask her to talk with him, not have sex. In general, when one hires a prostitute, one does so for sex. Holden goes into the fiasco with the thought: “I figured if she was a prostitute and all, I could get in some practice on her, in case I ever get married or anything. I worry about that stuff sometimes”(Salinger 92). This on the surface seems like a typical thing for a young adult to worry about, but, really? Who the hell worries about sex? Holden goes into this so objectively, thinking about getting married in the future and getting practice on her. This is a typical thing for a confused ace who has no idea that they are ace to worry about. After he thinks this the prostitute, Sunny, shows up. They talk for a bit and then Holden is very surprised when Sunny just up and pulls her dress off: “…she stood up and pulled her dress over her head. I certainly felt peculiar when she did that. I mean she did it so sudden and all. I know you’re supposed to feel pretty sexy when somebody gets up and pulls their dress over their head, but I didn’t. Sexy was about the last thing I was feeling….Boy, was I feeling peculiar….All she had on was this pink slip. It was really quite embarrassing” (Salinger 94-95). Yes, Holden, according to societal conventions one will supposedly feel horny when met with a mostly-naked person of the opposite gender. But people go against those societal conventions all the time. Asexuals, for instance, would not feel ‘sexy’ when met with a naked girl. Holden’s peculiar feeling may be the fact that he doesn’t know Sunny, and thus has no chance of feeling sexual attraction towards her. It may also be caused by possible sex repulsion of some degree when faced with someone he doesn’t know. This is, of course, ignoring the fact that he hired a prostitute then proceeded to ask her to just have a conversation with him. That is such an ace thing to do I mean, come on, who would do that.

Even more critical beyond Holden’s uncomfortableness when faced with sex, is the fact that he self-admittedly doesn’t get what sex is all about. Contemplating the people doing ‘crumby’ stuff on the balcony of the hotel he’s staying in, Holden thinks:

“Sex is something I really don’t understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. I spent the whole night necking with a terrible phony named Anne Louise Sherman. Sex is something I just don’t understand. I swear to god I don't”(Salinger 63).

Holden’s opinion on sex is that it’s confusing. He just simply doesn’t understand how to go about it. He makes himself rules for gods’ sake. He doesn’t understand why people do the do, why people go beyond ‘necking.’ Sex is so centralized in our culture that for an ace person, navigating the world is a problem. Centralization of sex in culture includes the beliefs that sex is needed for romance, the act of sexual intercource is key to adulthood and maturation, and sex is important for a healthy life (Przybylo 181). The key bit here is that Holden seems to believe that he should want sex with people, but he doesn’t understand sex. The centralization of sex confuses him and he ends up reaching for ways to make sex make sense to him, like a set of rules that he immediately tosses aside. He ends up doing the same thing that many aces do before they realize their sexuality: pretending just to fit in. He hires the prostitute because he thinks that might help him with his sex game. He feigns a desire for sex as real life aces often do: “As one participant from a study on asexual masculinity discusses, as an adolescent he had to “play along” with his male friend who “were all into porn mags” and checking out girls, feigning a desire for sex in order to fit in but ultimately “los[ing] out socially because…. A lot of social activities seem to be … centered around sex (Przybylo 2014:229)”” (Przybylo 188). Holden doubts that everyone has these desires and questions people that have sex just for the hell of it. He tells Carl Luce during their conversation:  “[i regard sex as] a physical and spiritual experience and all. I really do. But it depends on who the hell I’m doing it with. If I’m doing it with somebody I don’t even-….This is what I mean though. I know it’s supposed to be physical and spiritual, and artistic and all. But what I mean is, you can’t do it with everybody-every girl you neck with and all-and make it come out that way. Can you?”(Salinger 146-147). Holden sees people like Stradlater going and having sex with basically random girls just because they want to. He sees them doing it with girls they’ve only known for a couple hours, and questions, “you can’t do it with everybody?” He simply doesn’t see how people can just essentially randomly hook up and have a desire for the other person. This is a very common thing for aces to question. How do people just hook up if they don’t even like the other person? What underlying attraction is there? Don’t you have to know the person? The concept of a one-night-stand doesn’t exist to many aces.

This brings me to my crowning jewel: Holden basically explicitly states that he is demisexual. Just after the previous quote, while he’s talking to Luce, Holden says this: “You know what the trouble with me is? I can never get really sexy- I mean really sexy- with a girl I don’t like a lot. I mean I have to like her alot. If I don’t, I sort of lose my goddamn desire for her and all. Boy, it really screws up my sex life something awful. My sex life stinks”(Salinger 148). Holy. Fucking. Crap. That is the definition of demisexuality. Holden only has desire for a girl when he “likes her alot.” Demisexuality is only experiencing sexual attraction when a deep emotional connection is formed. Holden just almost explicitly said he’s demi. To back me up even further, I sent this quote to a few ace friends with the caption “if this isn’t aspec then idk what is.” Their responses: “HECK U RIGHT,” “Wow that’s practically explicit,” “If you can’t see the ace-ness inherent in this you need to get your eyes checked,” and “That’s one of the most canon ace things I’ve ever read and [I’m] willing to throw down with both teacher and author in the parking lot over this” (Fuck Yeah Asexual). If I have friends, demi friends who know the definition and use it all the time, willing to freaking fight Salinger and my teacher over this, you know it’s good.

Part of the reason that my friends may be so willing to fight people for Holden to be demi is that we have basically no representation in popular media. I found a total of five major canon ace characters in pop culture when I went looking. Every single other character I found was minor or from something that hasn’t inundated pop culture yet. Of those five, only two explicitly used the word asexual. Luffy from One Piece is commonly believed to be asexual, as is Maya from Borderlands 2 (SBS Volume 54, W.). One of these is a manga, the other a video game. While they do have very large audiences, neither character is confirmed ace in their media, purely by the creators word. Todd from Bojack Horseman is asexual as well(season four ep 3). Raphael from Shadowhunters is ace in the TV show, and aroace in the books, and I already mentioned the fiasco with Jughead (“By the Light of Dawn”, Alexander). Because we have so little representation, interpretations of famous literary characters like Holden as aspec really helps with overall awareness of the ace community. Awareness is coming around, slowly but surely, but every little bit counts.

So I will fight for ace Holden. I will drive this bandwagon right over anyone who objects, throwing my heaps of evidence and definitions out the windows. Maybe I’ll wrap the definition of demisexuality around my little crowning jewel and lob it at anyone who wants to fight me. Y’all are entitled to your opinions, but if you come say I’m wrong and ‘ruining books with my queer characters’ you’re gonna get a great big ball of demi-Holden evidence thrown at you. And I’m gonna wrap it all up nice and pretty in the demi flag.

[dasha-nova]

David Wong ‘John Dies at the End’ Quotes – P. III

I stopped, taken aback by John’s place. He had a brown leather couch, a matching armchair. He had a big-screen plasma TV sitting in the middle of the room; hooked to it were four video game systems, with game boxes littering the floor. A fairly nice DVD player, a one-hundred-disk CD changer in an entertainment center. “John, are we crack dealers now?” He said, “No. Nothing like that. Out in Vegas, we met a guy. He was a pimp. We made quite a bit of money as male whores. They used to call you Rocket Rimjob. You won the gold at the Greater Nevada Sodomy Olympics back in July, landed a bunch of endorsement deals. You own that house you and Jennifer live in. Paid cash, I think.”

I STOPPED TALKING, only to notice Arnie Blondestone was staring at me in wide-eyed, silent horror. Not the kind of horror you feel when you find out the universe is full of real monsters, but the kind you feel when you realize someone else’s idiocy has just wasted your entire day.

John told me about it and I blew him off. Then he got me drunk and told me about it again and suddenly I was fascinated.

“Hey, Johnny. I really appreciate you comin’ by like this.” He gave John a hard, manly handshake. “So what’s goin’ on?” “Do you, uh, know whose house this is?” “Strom Cuzewon?” John offered. A moment of confused silence from Drake. “Um, no. It’s Ken Phillipe, the Channel Five weather guy.” “Oh,” said John, seeming unsatisfied. I glanced back at the plates, STRMQQ 1. “The Qs are supposed to look like a pair of eyes,” I informed John. “The license plate means ‘Storm Watcher.’”

THE MORBIDLY OBESE security guard at the Channel 5 building told us Wexler had left early. We almost gave up at that point, but got a huge break in the case when John thought to look up Wexler’s home address in the phone book.

We shut off the stereo, listened. Nothing from the other side of the door. I tried the knob. Unlocked. I gestured to John and he ducked inside, Bible bat at the ready. My gesture had meant, “Wait, we should reconsider this."

John looked up at us and said, “We stay together. Look for a weak spot, like an eye or something. If there are crates around the room, cover me and I’ll open them, see if there’s a rocket launcher or something in one of them. If either of you find a big, green, polka-dotted mushroom, set it aside. We may need it later.” The blood, pounding through my ears again, my skull sounding like the inside of a seashell. I blinked hard to try to clear the spots pulsing in front of my eyes. I knew this was the thing to do, but every fiber screamed to retreat and try again some other day, when we had more on our side, when I wasn’t so tired, or so nervous, or so fat. I struggled for something to cling to, the way soldiers in foxholes picture their families, or a flag.

My butt cheeks clenched so tightly that not even light could have escaped.

“Good. Anyway, Amy is missing and the scene is weird as shit. The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it’ll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean.” “Who’s—” “Because you’re gay.”

I disconnected and did what I usually do after hanging up with John: sat in dumbfounded silence and contemplated all of the poor choices in my life.

John tipped a finger at him and said, “Yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You’re the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man.”

I wanted to go look closer but, I admit, I was afraid to. Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

I turned on the radio, looking for something to blast the thoughts out of my head, hoping the moist nighttime air would blow in a rare non-country station. I ground through static and static and static, then recoiled at the shrill, choking sound of a man apparently squealing through a crushed larynx. After a moment I realized it was simply Fred Durst and the group Limp Bizkit—Shitload’s favorite band. They’re the ones who invented the musical technique of feeding a list of generic rap phrases to a goat, then reading its turds into a microphone over heavy metal guitar.

“Okay,” I breathed. “Okay, okay. This thing I’ve got pointed at you, you know what it does?” He nodded, said, “I believe I have an idea, yes.” “And have you ever heard the old human saying, ‘I want to shoot you so bad, my dick’s hard’?” “I have not. But I believe the context makes its meaning clear.”

I heard another door open, then close. Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don’t?

And so, feeling like men trying to work a jigsaw puzzle blindfolded and using only our butt cheeks to grip the pieces, we left.

I reached over and plucked the first movie off a pile of returns to my left. Mulholland Drive, some David Lynch movie I had never heard of. There was no anti-theft tag on the case of this one. Almost like we wanted it to get stolen.

“Here,” I said. “This is a good one.” “It’s something my kid will sit through?” “Sure.”

“She said, “Why do you, like, hate yourself?” “If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard?”

The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes. John said, “Well, that’s done.” Before I could stop her, Amy asked, “Why did you—” “It was Molly’s idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she’s coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food."

At this point, John flung himself to the ground and screamed, “YOU SHOT ME! AAARRRRGHHH!” Not a shot had been fired. I rushed to John’s side. “You shot him! He has four kids! Or should I say, four orphans.” The man stepped over, the gun trained on John. The weapon seemed to be from the year 2050, smooth sides and a thin electronic sight that glowed green. There was a small barrel on the bottom and a cavernous one on top that looked like it fired cannon shells. “YOU. STEP AWAY AND GET ON THE FLOOR OVER THERE.” I said, “You shot him, you son of a bitch!” “DO IT AND DO IT NOW.” I stood and backed away. The man loomed over John and aimed the rifle right at his head. “YOU’RE NOT SHOT. GET UP."

John climbed to his feet, Amy looking at him with an incredulous, squinted look, like he had broken some new bounds of human idiocy that she previously had not thought possible.

On the David Wong Social Awkwardness Scale, with “1” being going to the “Pickup” instead of “Order” counter at a restaurant and “10” being a guy getting caught on national TV having sex with a dead baboon, I’d have to say that the following minutes alone with Amy rated about a 9.6.

“Which would prove I’m a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people I love?”

Inappropriate laughter is the universal first sign of madness.

She said, “Uh, thank you for helping me move.” “You said that already. No problem.” She looked like she had something else to say. Quite a bit else, in fact. John said, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal for me to lift heavy objects. I’m sort of used to it, if you know what I mean.” I held up a hand to silence him. “John—” “Of course I’m talking about my penis.” I said to Amy, “Ignore him. His penis is just like everybody else’s.” Amy said, “I was just gonna ask you if—” “You’ve never seen my penis!” bellowed John. “I’d show it right now, to everybody here. If we had time.” I turned on him. “If we had time? What?” “Because, well, if you want to look at my penis, you’d better have a whole afternoon, buddy! You best have five or six hours to take it all in, lest its majesty escape you!” Before I could stop her, Amy said, “That doesn’t make any sense.” “It would make sense if you could see it!” shouted John, plainly agitated. “It would be making loooooong sense, honey!”

[agl03]

Okay I'm totally going to need you to convince me how this is going to be okay because right now I actually feel pretty sick. I don't see how they have enough time once they leave the framework for Fitz to deal with this trauma. Fitz has killed a woman now, even if he wasn't aware he was doing it. And if he tortures Daisy, I just don't think I can watch that. To come out and have their happy engagement would be wrong and rushed. When do they get to heal? Where is the payoff???

Hi Anon!  And anyone else who needs this…

Its Going to be Okay!

This story isn’t supposed to be happy or fun, we are in a reality built by a crazy, evil book influenced, programmed by the questionable Dr. Radcliffe, and obsessed with becoming a real girl AIDA here.  She has twisted each and every single character.  Fitz and May more than anyone else. 

I’m just going to run down my major points here.  I hope it helps.  Again I am not ashamed to say that I am still enjoying this arc.  Its uncomfortable and frustrating as all get out.  But it has me rooting SO HARD for Fitzsimmons right now.  For the entire team right now. 

Fitz partly a distraction:

We all know that something the writers do is the fake out.   They have us looking at and focused on one thing so we literally don’t see the truck that is coming at us from left field.   Season 2 for example.  When Real Shield made their move it looked like they were our big bad of the season, that would be the arc.  When in fact it was Jaiying and the Inhumans that were the bigger threat.  So right now they have the fandom so wrapped up in Fitz….that we are ‘missing’ that thing over in left field about to hit us.  A betrayal is coming guys and its going to hurt.

Fitz has been brainwashed:

This is not our Fitz.  Period.  Iain said at Wondercon that they were two different people.  Two different characters.  Radcliffe said when talking to him, he talked about our Fitz as a different person, because he was.   We saw over and over throughout the episode AIDA manipulate him.  I see things like taking his hand, asking for him to protect her, of vocalizing they are trying to take him from her as the triggers.  You know how we know he’s been brainwashed…how down right TERRIFIED AIDA was of Radcliffe talking to him.  That Jemma was taken out of the picture even before she could be a factor in his life.  That AIDA boasted that she had manipulated this world and those in it to meet her needs and wants.  Yes, she fixed a regret but each regret built on her fantasy.

With Fitz this goes well beyond fixing a regret.  I still believe that initially making him the son his father wanted was just step one in AIDA’s process.  AIDA took him as her own. 

Everyone is Dark:

We’re not done yet here guys.  We have more oh please no moment coming with everyone coming.   And yes, Fitz is one of the most drastically different and one they are making sure to highlight but I am uncomfortable with everyone.

Coulson:  Yes he’s breaking thanks to Tahiti but he still let Hydra take off with one of his own students.  The big reason I think we have Coulson back is he is getting that “you did make a difference/Shield needs you arc here”.   Mace is not the leader that Shield needs…he wasn’t in the real world and he won’t be here. 

Mace:  I am really worried about this version of Mace.   While he is doing the right thing I’m afraid he’s going to do some things in that quest that aren’t good.  Not to mention that he is a massive threat to the lives of May and Fitz.  He will kill either one of them given a chance.  He almost reminds me of Jaiying a little here with the “One of us” comment from the promo especially makes me thing of this.

Mack:  He will do ANYTHING to protect his daughter (and low key worried how he found the Resistance so easily here guys).  He sold out Daisy.  But what was very interesting was his view on Inhumans.  When we first met Mack he was ‘against’ them for lack of a better word.  It was work with Daisy, Coulson, and Shield that helped him change his mind and become one of their greatest protectors.

May:  Has been twisted as much as Fitz has.  She has been in there the longest.  Gone through the most ‘reboots’ of the Framework.  It was her team that beat up Daisy.  It was her that manipulated Mack using Hope. She is number 3 in Hydra and is a huge threat to her own team as well as a target.

Ward:  So leery of Ward.  I really fear Jemma will be who he betrays again.  And its also interesting he could have gotten a shot on Madame Hydra there…#1….instead aimed for Fitz Hydras #2.  Just saying guys…our master manipulators might be at work again here.  For him if it comes down to giving up Jemma to save Skye…he’s going to give up Jemma to save Skye.  Just as Mack gave up Daisy to save Hope.

They are their own worst enemies: 

AIDA is likely the worst villain they have gone up against, a horrid culmination of everyone they have faced before.  She isn’t dumb she built this world for HER.  She is using loopholes to her advantage.  Otherwise I firmly feel that everyone but Fitz would already be dead.  So since she had to keep them alive she manipulated (even bragged to Radcliffe that she’d done it) those regrets for her gain.

She also has been in everyone’s heads.  She’s been around the team before. She knows they are the biggest threat to her when they are working together as a team.   So she either split them up or turned them on each other. 

She has also made them each others dragons.  It is clear now AIDA is in Madame Hydra.  She knows right where Mace and the Playground is but allows the Resistance to continue because it feeds into the manipulation.  Especially with Fitz, its another thing he has to protect her from.

I discussed in my meta last night that AIDA seems to be trying to make it so the team won’t ‘want’ to save Fitz (more lies, more manipulation).   Here he’s The Doctor, Mace won’t bat and eye if he can kill him  Isn’t going to give Jemma the resources she needs to get him alive.  AIDA has painted Jemma as the villain.  Leaving Jemma pretty much alone now in trying to save him (oh look another parallel).  She has Coulson for now but I’m betting he will be pulled away too soon by saving Daisy or getting to May.

She took Fitz as her own:

A lot of what AIDA has done was to build this world how she wanted.  To get who and what she wanted, and she wanted Fitz.  Someone who would love and protect her.  Made her happy.  Her interaction with Radcliffe very telling.  We said that Fitz treating her like a person would come back…and boy has it ever.  She also wanted someone that loved and protected her like Fitz did with Jemma…so she took Jemma’s place.  May too, she’s ‘rewarded’ May with a high position because I believe May respected her, liked her, called her brave.

But in taking Fitz in so many ways we really do have an epic love story set up here.   Jemma is going to have to fight to get him back.  I feel like part of that whole spectacle on the island with Agnes was for show.  That AIDA knew Jemma was there  set up that whole thing with Agnes so Fitz would see it.  Try to shake Jemma, make her think that he was too far gone,.  It also took away the little support Jemma had found.  Leaving her alone in trying to save him.  AIDA is scared as heck of Jemma and her saving him.

AIDA also doesn’t have him fully yet.   Fitz says he would cross the universe for her but he HAS done it for Jemma.

Fitz is in there:

In the horror of feels that was last night we saw Fitz peeking through more than once.  And every single time we saw it it was because Jemma was in the mix either in person or in a picture.  And only with Jemma, May, Daisy, and Radcliffe had no effect (though Radcliffe planted seeds, very important seeds). 

Aside for Coulson who is aided by Tahiti we haven’t seen anyone else ‘break through” at all. 

May:  Came into contact with Fitz, Daisy, and Mack…nothing. 

Mace:  Came into contact with Jemma, Mack, and Coulson…nothing.

Mack:  Came into contact with Daisy, May, Mace, and Coulson…nothing.

Engagement is Endgame:

When we look back at interviews from Loeb, Jed, and Mo they have been hinting at this arc all season.  And they have been setting up an engagement for Fitzsimmons all season too. 

“This young man as you have never seen him before” that was what Leob said at SDCC and also where we first heard the ‘reward’ talk.  And we have seen them pay off everything so far. And coupled with the timing of Jed’s quote in EW, engagement coming up in 15, hints all season, and getting their middle names.  I think once they are out they aren’t going to risk it again.

“It could happen.  If they ever get back together, that’s something that could happen in their future.”

And I’m sorry to say this but this is TV, A drama at that, we have to jump through all sorts of hoops to get this kind of pay off.  That is part of why we are now tearing our hair out and crying until Jemma gets him back.  And when she does the pay off will be worth it.  Look at what we got after Hogface.

The Fallout:

AOS has never ‘dealt’ with trauma and recovery very well.  Even Daisy’s recovery a victim of the Ghost Rider Arc.  It is often done over hiatus or “off camera.  Now we have a situation where its the whole cast that will have things to deal with.  So yes, we will miss seeing it but because we don’t see it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. 

We can also have the healing ‘begin’ in the Framework, especially for Fitz as he helps get everyone out or plays a part in stopping AIDA once as for all. 

Sorry that was a lot but I hope it helps.  Just remember its always Darkest before the Dawn and our Sunrise is coming guys.

[stop-yanderedev-archive]

damn ari, back at it again with dem rants

Okay, first off, hello again! It’s Ari, the one who had to rant about the person who commented on my post about the faults of YanSim. I’m back again to rant about YandereDev’s current “clearing up misunderstandings” post because that idiot really makes me wanna fight something!

Warning, this post might be long and there won’t a TL;DR at the end, so I apologize in advance!

So first off, if you have to make fucking SEVEN POSTS about clearing “misunderstandings”, then there’s something wrong with you. If you do so much shit that it causes you to make multiple posts about clearing your name, then you’re doing something wrong.

Now, onto some of the points that he made in his nasty-ass post that REALLY pissed me off.

“YandereDev said that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation!”

That’s not what I said. I said that nobody chooses to be a pedophile, just like nobody gets to choose their sexual orientation. I used the words “orientation” and “pedophilia” in separate sentences of the same paragraph, but I did not say that pedophilia IS a sexual orientation

No, just stop right there. Pedophilia and sexual/romantic orientations have ZERO THINGS IN COMMON.

Sexual/romantic orientations are a part of being a person. It changes, it’s fluid. Some people need some time until they are definitely sure they are gay/trans/bi/aro-ace/etc, and some don’t. It’s a normal thing that’s a part of life, such as puberty.

Pedophilia is not a normal thing, nor should it be normalized. It harms others, mainly impressionable minors that don’t know better because they are not as informed as those older than them. Those who act upon these “desires” to pursue romantic relationships with minors are nasty people that need to just go. People choose to be pedophiles because they’re disgusting like that.

You cannot compare the two. It’s as simple as that.

“YandereDev treatened to dox someone into silence!”

That’s not how it went down. I said something I didn’t mean while I was fired up up in the middle of an angry rant about someone who had been harassing me for several months. Obviously, it shouldn’t have been taken seriously. It was an “in the heat of the moment” statement, not a genuine threat.

Firstly, he spelled “threatened” wrong. Sorry, but I get a little nit-picky about spelling. :P

But anyways, what the hell.

I may not know much about this incident, but what I DO know is that the person (they are the original owner of this blog, right?) YandereDev threatened to dox did not harass him in any way. They did nothing of the sort.

And, (again from what I’ve heard) describing a person’s house in detail while you’re threatening to doxx someone is not a heat of the moment thing. You really got to think about stuff like that. Heat of the moment thing is not thinking about what you’re going to say while getting real emotional, and then feeling really guilty about it afterwards. YandereDev, you don’t sound guilty about what had happened. In fact, you sound like you think you’re innocent and didn’t absolutely wrong.

Oh wait, YOU DO THINK THAT YOU’RE NOT THE ONE TO BLAME HERE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN UNSEEMLY ASSHOLE.

“One of the rivals in Yandere Simulator is a pedophile!”

Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children (younger than 14), and Mida Rana is attracted to boys that are older than 14, so this statement isn’t accurate, but that’s beside the point. Sometimes, video games have antagonists who do bad things, and allow you to punish the antagonists for their evil ways. Some villains kill, some villains kidnap, some villains are sexual predators. If you don’t like Mida Rana, just punish her however you see fit, like any other villain in any other video game.

Say it with me now, kids: MIDA RANA IS A PEDOPHILE BECAUSE SHE IS ATTRACTED TO MINORS. MIDA RANA IS A PEDOPHILE BECAUSE PEDOPHILIA MEANS THAT YOU DESIRE TO HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WITH MINORS. MINORS ARE THOSE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 OR 21, IF WE’RE PUTTING THIS INTO USA LAW CONTEXT. TARO YAMADA/SENPAI IS A MINOR, IF YOU WANT TO CONSIDER MINORS BEING UNDER 21.

Just because Mida Rana is an antagonist, doesn’t mean you get to brush aside the fact that she’s a pedophile. Villains are villains because you don’t brush aside the reasons that they are in the wrong. Getting the to get rid of Mida in the game still doesn’t make it okay. She SHOULDN’T have been a TEACHER in the first place. She SHOULDN’T have been a RIVAL in the first place.

“YandereDev said that pedophilia is ‘forbidden love���!”

That’s not what I said. I was referring to love between a student and a teacher as forbidden love. Student/teacher relationships are forbidden, irrespective of the age gap between the student and teacher.

LMAO, what the honest fuck is wrong with this dude.

Teachers shouldn’t be interested in having romantic relationships with their students because it is against the law and wrong at the same time. The reason it’s “forbidden” is because teachers hold so much more control over students. They can do things to students because they have more power over them due to their seniority over the student. Plus, relationships with huge age gaps (such as the student/teacher romantic relationship) are very problematic and can turn ugly without a doubt.

Forbidden love is like a royal/noble falling for a peasant; they know they can never be together due to the standards set by their society, but they don’t care because their love for one another is that strong. Forbidden love projects the idea that love conquers all, even if their situation is hopeless. The student/teacher thing is not forbidden love and it will never be. It’s harmful, disgusting, and abusive. Forbidden love is not that, not at all.

“YandereDev reads lolicon manga!”

There was a thread on 4chan where people were editing this image by putting different things in the bag. It was a meme. I could tell that the image had been taken from a sexual manga, but I didn’t care. To me, it was like any other “reaction image” featuring a character making a silly face. The meme was about putting something funny in the bag, not the character’s age or situation. I edited the image and used it in a blog post. Just because I posted a “reaction face” that came from a manga, this doesn’t mean that I read the manga, or enjoy the content. Reaction faces are reaction faces. Memes are memes.

“Reaction faces are reaction face. Memes are meme.”

*inhales deeply* BOI.

Just because you “don’t read it” or “don’t enjoy the content”, doesn’t mean you should use the material as if it were some copypasta. The content is still gross and wrong. Using it to be “funny” just adds onto the problem.

“YandereDev liked a pornographic image of one of his underage characters!”

I give “likes” to almost all of the fan art I see on Tumblr, because I am happy and flattered to see people producing artwork based on my creations. This doesn’t mean that I’m aroused by everything that I give a “like” to, or expressing approval of the subject matter of every post that I give a “like” to.

To quote one of your nice anons:

“Does he actually read the shit he writes out?”

Liking a post on Tumblr means you approve of it, idiot! That’s the definition of approval.

“YandereDev made fun of suicidal people!”

In 2015, someone asked me if it would be possible to drive girls to suicide in Yandere Simulator. I answered, “Yes.” Then, they asked me if girls would commit suicide for silly reasons, or serious reasons. I explained that I did not want people to commit suicide for petty reasons in Yandere Simulator. As an example, I posted a screenshot of a news report about a teenage boy in Russia who committed suicide because his favorite anime character had died. This was not me “making fun of suicidal people”, but providing an example of something that should not cause enough emotional distress to cause a suicide.

Hey, how about fuck off???

You don’t know what that kid’s been going through. You have no right to determine how much emotional distress makes the suicide valid. Unless you know the kid on a personal level, you can’t say shit about him.

“YandereDev wrote rape stories!”

Game of Thrones has rape scenes. Is Game of Thrones a “rape show”? No, it is a TV show that has very dark subject matter, and characters who are put through traumatic and perilous situations. I have written stories with dark subject matter. Some of my stories involved sexual assault. The sexual assaults were never meant to be “sexy”. A more elaborate answer can be found here.

Okay, no one but kiwifarms has really talked about your shitty fanfics.

Also, rape isn’t the main focus of Game of Thrones. Just because something like a TV show has a scene that depicted something like rape, it doesn’t automatically make it a “rape show”. It just means it’s a show that has rape in it. Your fanfics are focusing on rape, putting it in the spotlight. Therefore, your fanfics are “rape stories” because you focus on it.

“YandereDev refuses to add dark-skinned characters to the game!”

That’s not true. I want the ethnicity ratio in Yandere-chan’s school to match Japan’s ethnicity ratio in the real world. In the real world, 98.5% of the population of Japan are ethnic Japanese. This means that if you went to Japan and encountered 200 people, only 3 would not be ethnic Japanese. If you go to a high school in Japan, you are simply not going to encounter dozens of dark-skinned students. With all of that said, I do plan to include a dark-skinned character in Yandere Simulator’s school in the future.

Shut the fuck up. No, literally, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You know jack shit about Asian cultures, YandereDev. You literally don’t know what it means to be an “ethnic Japanese” or an “ethnic Asian”. You are a white man, so you have NO RIGHT to decide who’s “ethnically” Asian and who’s not.

All Asians (from the Middle East to East Asia) can have dark/brown skin, just like how they can have light/peachy skin. We are not white, we are POC. Because of your fucking ignorance YandereDev, you’re contributing to the problem Asians like me face.

I am a young Asian girl with brown skin, who comes from a Filipino family. When I was young, I didn’t considered myself as an Asian because people expect Asians to be pale and beautiful. I never proudly showed off my Asian roots until I got older and got a better understanding of my culture.

There’s this little thing called colorism, and it’s a big problem in Asian countries like Japan. In Asia, white skin = rich and dark skin = poor. That’s why most characters in anime are light skinned. Thanks to the romanticizing of pale skin and the promotion of whiteness, white skin is seen as more appealing than dark skin because Asians don’t want to be seen as “poor”. It’s sickening and saddening. Dark-skinned Asians are just as beautiful as light-skinned ones. We’re still Asians, we’re still from the same country.

Saying that you’ll never see dark-skinned students in a Japanese school is very inaccurate and ignorant. Like I said, YandereDev doesn’t know a thing about Asian cultures and should stay in his fucking lane. If he wanted to be realistic, then he would’ve had already added dark-skinned characters by now. But no, he’s a prick that doesn’t seem to understand that colorism is an issue and his game is just an inaccurate piece of shit.

“YandereDev used a transphobic slur!”

I have used the term “trap”. However, this term has nothing to do with transgender people. The term “trap” refers to a male who dresses as a female and attempts to trick people into thinking he is a female, as a prank. This word describes someone who is attempting to trick others, not someone who genuinely identifies as another gender.

I have used the term “tranny”. This is because I was directly quoting someone else’s statement word-for-word. This is not because I was using the word to demean anyone.

I have expressed a dislike for “dickgirls”. Dickgirls - or “futanari” - are a type of Japanese fetish porn. Dickgirls are female anime characters who acquire a dick through a magic potion or some other fantastical reason; the term is not used to describe males who identify as female.

YandereDev, you have no right to use any of the slurs you have said in the past. The only ones who can are the people that the slur insults because they are reclaiming the slur.

Trap is associated with transgender people because people have used it to describe transgender people before.

Just because you are quoting someone, doesn’t mean you can use the slur they used as if it was just some normal word. You need to recognize that it’s a slur and that you can’t use it in a casual way.

Say it with me: IF SOMEONE IDENTIFIES AS A FEMALE, THEN THEY ARE A FEMALE. DON’T CALL THEM MALE BECAUSE YOU’RE MISGENDERING THEM. IT’S TRANSPHOBIC.

That aside, I’m pretty sure futanari are mocking transfolk? I could be wrong, so correct me if I am!

“YandereDev steals 3D models and textures!”

I sometimes put temporary placeholder assets into the game, with the intention of replacing them with original assets as soon as possible. This is not an uncommon practice for early prototypes of video games. Yandere Simulator is no longer in an “early prototype” stage, but some temporary placeholder assets are still lingering in Yandere Simulator from its earlier days. I am still in the process of removing these assets from the game. “Theft” and “stealing” are very disingenuous ways of describing the situation. It should go without saying that I have no intention to ship the final game with models or images that I don’t have permission to use.

Even if you’re using them temporarily, you still need to ask the original creator for permission. It’s their content, so they are the ones that get to decide where their creations will go and who can use them. The sandbox of Yandere Simulator is open to the public, therefore people can still see them. YandereDev, you haven’t said that the placeholders aren’t yours, so people are going to assume that you or your volunteers made these assets. You are stealing from the creators because you aren’t stating that the assets aren’t yours and that you’re using them for a sandbox build that’s anyone can see/download.

“YandereDev used the word ‘autistic’ as an insult!”

A strange person had been harassing me for several months. Eventually, I learned that they were actually an autistic child. This helped me to understand the behavior that I had been observing from them. I proceeded to tell them that I had identified their autism, but also firmly stated that their autism wasn’t any excuse for the behavior that they had been demonstrating for the past several months. This was interpreted as some kind of attack on their autism. It wasn’t.

Oh my fucking god, I cannot believe people can be this ignorant.

Unless you’ve got some kind of extensive knowledge about autism, you have no right to assume if someone is autistic or not. You can’t assume someone has a certain disorder by observing their behavior. It’s like saying you think someone is depressed if they don’t constantly smile or look happy. It’s wrong and gross.

Also, I doubt this “strange person” was harassing you. You’re the one that constantly bitches about getting too many emails or blow up at people for saying some harmless/innocent.

His whole conclusion is a mess of bullshit, but one thing I’m going to mention is this:

So, why do they do this? It’s very easy to explain. The reason is simple; they do this because it’s fun.

It’s fun to hate. It’s fun to shame. It’s fun to ridicule. It’s fun to make other people look bad. It’s fun to talk trash about others. It’s fun to “expose” other people. It’s fun to ruin someone’s life. It’s fun to ruin someone’s career. All of these things are super fun…if you’re a sadistic scumbag who takes pleasure in harming others.

To keep having fun, all they have to do is keep brainwashing themselves to believe that I’m a horrible monster, and dismiss everything I say when I attempt to explain myself. As long as they follow those two simple little rules, they can have unlimited fun. And, as long as they can keep having fun, why would they ever stop?

We haters aren’t doing this because it is “fun”. We are doing this because we want to inform others of the nasty shit you have done/are doing. I could do so many other things that are more fun than dealing with your nonsense, but your “game” has attracted the attention of younger kids. These kids don’t understand what you’re is bad and they need someone to steer them in the right direction.

Every time you explain yourself YandereDev, you just add onto the list of reasons why you’re a bad person. The fact that you have the audacity to act so high and mighty and then bitch about the “triggered SJWs” that are “harassing” you shows what kind of person you are.

In conclusion, YandereDev is just giving me more reasons why I should not support him or his gross game.

I hope I didn’t say anything wrong, but if I have please tell me! Thanks for reading and I hope all of you have a lovely day/night!

Cheers!

~ Ari

#tw: pedophilia mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: rape mention #long post