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khadij-al-kubra · 6 years ago

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Can I Bar-row Your Attend-tion (ch. 4)

Pairing: Roman/Patton

Characters: Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Thomas, Joan, Talyn, Valerie, Terrence, Dio (Deceit), (some OCs)

Word Count: (I know, I know, it’s long. I’m sorry! I couldn’t settle on a good stopping point. XO )

Summary: Roman and Patton are two bartenders at a local bar & grill with some serious chemistry. However, the only people who don’t realize it are each other, and one of them is in a relationship…on the rocks.

Author’s Note: Hey friends! A thousand pardons for the late update! It’s been crazy in my life lately. Thank you so much for your patience, and don’t worry, we’re nearing the home stretch. Again I am SO thankful to see all the positive feedback so far and am happy you’re enjoying it! If you’d like to be in the tag list for future chapters in the Bar & Grill AU or other works by me, let me know. And as always feel free to leave a comment in the messages or reply if you have any notes or constructive critiques. I’m always open to writing advice. Oh, and buckle up, ‘cause this chapter is gonna get angsty. Enjoy!

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Chapter 4: Bad News Served Neat (POV- Patton)

Patton missed Roman. He knew it was sort of ridiculous, but it was true. Roman was getting busier with the rehearsal nights, and even though he knew it was only temporary, Patton missed having the flamboyant creative man working beside him those few nights a week at the bar and grill. Missed his smile, missed the excessive gestures whenever he spoke to others, missed the way his nose crinkled before a sneeze, missed his deep hearty laugh and the way he whistled Sondheim songs while cleaning the mixer.

Patton knew he had feelings for the actor, but it wasn’t until they’d danced together three days ago that he realized juts how deep he was in. Part of him felt guilty for it, heartless even, because he was still in a committed relationship with someone else. But the heart is its own master he supposed. Patton had spent the entire weekend thinking about it. On Saturday he overfilled the food bowls at the shelter while daydreaming about kissing Roman. And on Sunday he burnt a batch of brownies replaying their conversations in his head. Only friends… For just a moment he had thought Roman was going to kiss him, that maybe he actually felt something more for Patton. Of course that’d be too good to be true. Patton sighed sadly and took out a mini chocolate chip.

“Excuse me, where is my drink order?” asked a new customer at the bar.

“Just a second,” said Patton. He stuffed the cookie in his mouth and finishing his line of orders.

Remy hadn’t shown up yet, later than usual even by his standards, so Patton was left to build drinks alone. Unfortunately for him it was a busier night, the old place filled with both old and new faces, and it was only 8pm. Patton hadn’t even taken his dinner break yet because he didn’t want to let Logan down. The poor businessman tried to pitch in when he could, but Logan also had to man the front register. Even Joan and Talyn were too busy to stop and say hi.

“Here you go. Sorry for the wait,” he said, handing over the tequila sunrise. “We’re a bit understaffed today.”

“Clearly,” the customer said stiffly, straightening her grey blazer. Patton pouted at her. Meany.

“Aaand here is your wine Valerie. Sorry for the hold up,” he smiled apologetically.

“Oh don’t worry sweetie. I can tell you’re busy,” she said, reaching over her half eaten plate of house salad and wings to pat his arm.

“Thanks for understanding kiddo.” He gave her a smile before getting back to work.

“So is it true that you and Roman actually broke into song and dance?” she asked, her big brown eyes sparkling.

“Yep. He was having a bad day and, well, I just had to cheer him up somehow. And you know he’s such a big Disney fan.” Patton sighed at the memory fondly. “It was really nice…and Logan hadn’t even been mad.”

“Awwww! I can’t believe I missed it! Wait till I tell Jas and Calypso, they are going to flip out.”

“Well you can tell them you heard it straight from your ol’ pal Patton. I wouldn’t want them to think you were being phony...Get it? …Like a flip phone?”

“Oh, right, ha-ha…” Valerie laughed, but even Patton knew it wasn’t his best joke.

“Anywho, back to work. There you are fellas. Three beers,” he said to three burly men in Roman’s section, smiling brightly at the new faces.

“Thanks,” said the one in the middle.

Normally Patton would take the time to talk a bit more with the new customers, make them feel welcomed. Tonight however his heart just wasn’t in it. No, his heart was somewhere else, and that made him feel guilty. Because even with his thoughts focused on Roman lately, part of his brain was still hooked on another man. One whom he felt was slipping father away. He munched another cookie.

Patton shook the bad thoughts welling up from his head and took a tray with three drinks to the far dinner tables. He brought one to a regular customer Madeline at table 14, stopping to say hi to her seeing-eye dog Jerico, and then brought the other two to table 12. There sat Terrence and a pretty red head he’d already taken here to eat twice before.

“Alrighty, here we go. One rum and coke for you Terrence, and one Scotch for you lovely date.”

“You’re the best Patton,” said Terrence.

“Daww same to you kiddo. Let me know if you have any problems with this tiger,” he said to the girl as he teasingly elbowed the policeman’s shoulder.

“You’re right Terrence, he is a riot,“ said the redhead, giggling at her date’s embarrassed face. “You don’t have to worry though, he’s been a perfect gentleman.”

Even with his coco skin tone and the low lighting Patton could tell that Terrence was blushing like a beet. “Uh well…thanks… y-you too o-of course. Uh, N-not a gentleman! I mean, not that you’re a man, like, gentle…woman…”

The girl merely laughed and smiled at him. Terrence smiled bashfully back. This is so pure, Patton thought wistfully. He left them alone, but couldn’t help looking back with a sigh. What he wouldn’t give to spend a night like that with a certain someone. Guilt welled up in him again as he realized the man in his fantasies wasn’t his boyfriend. Which it should’ve been, right? Because that was the right thing to think about? People in relationships should be thinking about the person they were in the relationship with. Not someone else. Wasn’t that betraying the other person?

Suddenly the image of Roman’s warm smile and strong arms wrapped gently around him popped into Patton’s mind. It made him smile, but then he frowned just as quickly with guilt.

“Patton, how are you holding up? You seem distressed,” Logan said, coming over to the bar.

“Oh it’s okay Logan,” he said, snapping back to attention. “I’m doing fine. Really.”

“Apologies that I cannot help more.”

“I’m handling things alright. It isn’t your fault.”

“While that is kind of you it is indeed my responsibility as your employer. A foolish mistake on my part, thinking I could count on my cousin for assistance. Then again, he did need the work. Regardless, I have messaged Roman to see if there was any possibility of him coming in later to help you with closing up the bar.”

“Oh! Well, that works.” Patton said, unable to hide his giddiness at the possibility of seeing Roman.

“So far no word, but I shall keep you updated. Meanwhile, I’m going to see if I can’t get at all in touch with Remy on his whereabouts.” Logan took out his cellphone and vehemently dialed a number. His mouth was stretched in a thin line of impatience. “Remy, it’s Logan. Where the hell are you?”

Logan walked away with the phone, but Patton heard Remy from the other line saying, ‘I have, like, NO idea!’

You’d think being busy with work would have taken Patton’s mind off of things, but nope. If anything he was stuck even further into the swirling whirlpool of unpleasant thoughts and memories. Like Friday night when Dio had to cancel another one of their dates, telling him something came up at work. Patton had been sad, but honestly he was sadder about the fact that he wasn’t surprised than by the cancellation itself. It had even taken away some of the joy he’d felt after singing and dancing with Roman. Sure, Dio had made it up to him by taking him out to dinner Saturday night at his favorite restaurant, but Patton’s heart just wasn’t in it. Wasn’t in the relationship anymore. He couldn’t help feeling guilty over that, probably because he was too nice for his own good. Then again, Dio didn’t seem so invested in the relationship lately either.

Patton wasn’t as naïve as people made him out to be. He could tell that the flame between him and Dio wasn’t as bright as it had been the first three months of their relationship. Things had been so wonderful back then. Patton remembered the first time they met in the park, how mesmerized he had been by Dio’s dancing and the way they locked eyes. He came back to that park every other day just hoping to see him. Dio would always bring him flowers until he finally asked Patton out officially. He remembered their first date, all the movie and make-out nights, the time Dio won him a stuffed cat at the carnival, taking Dio to the zoo and seeing the giddy look on his boyfriend’s face in the reptile room…cartoon-a-thons, whispered secrets as they lay in bed holding hands…That all seemed so long ago.

Then Dio got less enthusiastic about their dates, almost bored. Patton tried to put more effort into it, thinking maybe he just wasn’t showing enough appreciation. Not long after he stared feeling wilted…felt like he had to try harder, even when he didn’t always want to… But hey, relationships weren’t always sunshine and smiles, right? Patton couldn’t break up with Dio just because they’d hit a rough patch. Part of him did still love Dio…at least he was pretty sure he did. They’d been together so long, those feelings couldn’t just disappear, right? He munched on two more cookies.

“Hey Pat, you okay dude?” Alex asked from their usual corner seat at the bar.

“Of course kiddo! I’m always a-okay!” Patton said, plastering on his best smile.

“You sure? ‘Cause you’ve been hitting the cheer-up cookies kinda hard tonight. That was your fifth one.” Uh oh. Has it really been that many?

“Weeell sometimes that’s how the cookie crumbles.” He grinned cheekily as the young artist groaned. “But I appreciate you looking out for your old pop kiddo.”

Patton playfully ruffled Alex’s beanie. They grumbled a bit, but Patton could see the small smirk on their face.

“Oooh is that a new piece you’re working on?” asked Patton, spotting the open sketchbook on the bar surface.

“Um, not really,” said Alex, nervously twirling their long blonde hair. “Its something I’ve been working on for a while. I’m just touching up some parts. Virgil gave me some really helpful feedback. He really is talented…”

Patton took note of the soft smile and slight blush on their face at the mention of Virgil. Could Alex possibly be crushing on his stepbrother? The thought made Patton feel bubbly inside but he fought to curb his cupid-like tendencies. He had his own relationship and romance woes to worry about. Playing matchmaker for his favorite pan pals probably wasn’t the best idea.

A light knock on the kitchen widow sill alerted Patton to Thomas’ presence. The chef was holding a small plate of steaming rice and beans with what looked like pieces of chicken sprinkled with chopped green things. What was that, cilantro? Bell peppers?

“Hey Patton, could you taste test this dish for me?” Thomas asked. “I’m trying to convince Logan to let me add some new specials to the menu.”

“Absolutely kiddo!”

Patton took the plate of food, blew on it and spooned a bit of everything into his mouth. The flavors of caramelized onions, black beans, savory chicken, warm rice, and just a hint of lime danced across his tongue. Heavenly.

“Thomas, this is so good!” Patton said, mouth half full.

“Thanks Pat!” Patton savored the look of pride on his friend’s face. “Yeah, it’s called pollo a la plancha; my gran’s old recipe. You know, she’s the one who taught me how to cook in the first place.”

“That’s so sweet! I’m sure Logan will let you add this. He’d be pretty kooky not to once he tastes it.”

“I still say it need more cilantro, guero,” called Enrique from the kitchen.

“You leave my abuelita’s recipe alone!” Thomas cried into the kitchen, making Alex and Patton both laugh. It was his first real laugh he’d had all day.

Patton was about to get back to the bar and check if anyone needed a refill, but then he saw Virgil rush in through the door. He looked very distressed, which made Patton worry.

“Hey Virgil,” both Thomas and Alex said.

“You here for your usual?” Thomas asked.

“Not here for a mozzarella run this time Thomas,” said Virgil. Then he turned to Patton. “Got a sec? I need to talk with you in private.”

“Uhhh,” he looked to his friends who seemed equally concerned then check the bar. Everyone seemed fine for the moment. “Sure Virge.”

He’s immediately let away gently but earnestly to the other side of the bar. It was the only unoccupied spot in the place so they could talk in private.

“What’s up kiddo? Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, but…” Virgil tugged nervously at his hoodie strings. “I’ve kinda got some bad news.”

“Is it mom and dad? Did something happen to them?”

“No, no! Mom and dad are fine. It’s just,” Virgil huffed. “Okay, just, promise me you won’t freak out please?”

“Of course, just tell me what’s wrong so I can know how to help you.”

The emo artist looked at him with pained sympathy. “You’re great Pat, but I’m not the one whose gonna need help this time.”

Patton waited patiently. Virgil closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said in a rush, “IsawDiocheatingonyou! There. It’s like a Band-Aid rip.”

Patton blanked for a second. It was rushed but he’d heard what Virgil said. Could he have heard wrong?

“Wh-wh-what?” he asked softly.

Virgil sighed. “I was working on my mural and ran out of paint. So made a parkour run through the park since it’s a short cut to the nearest art supply store. I was cutting through some trees when I thought I saw a certain someone’s bowler derby through the leaves…But he wasn’t alone” His teeth clenched at the memory but Virgil kept going. “I got close enough to get a better look without being seen. I thought, like, maybe I’d seen wrong, running and all…but I didn’t. It was Dio, and he was with some other guy…and they were making out. Like, full on tongue fencing.”

“A-are…are you sure Virge?” Patton asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Yeah. I saw his tattoo. It was definitely Dio. I’m so sorry Pat!”

Thoughts and memories swirled through Patton’s head. He didn’t even hear the music in the bar and grill, like his ears were full of emotional cotton. He knew that Virgil wouldn’t lie to him. Yet part of Patton, probably the too-nice-for-his-own-good side, wanted to deny it, give his boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. But now that it had been said aloud there was no denying the truth. It explained so much. The lack-luster touches, distracted texts, and all the cancelled dates because ‘something came up.’ Patton knew Dio was losing interest in him, but he never thought he’d stoop so low as to cheat on him and lie like that. Then again…didn’t he always lie? Oh how could I be so STUPID!

Patton took the entire bag of mini chocolate chip cookies out of his apron pocket. He shoved his hand in and grabbed a fistful. Before he could shove the sweets into his mouth however they were knocked out of his hand. He turned to a stern faced Virgil. Patton frowned back, mad at him for depriving him of the only thing that could cheer him up right now, and defiantly grabbed another fistful.

“No!” Virgil yanked the bag of cookies out of his hands.

“Give it,” Patton said, reaching for the back.

“NO!” Virgil said forcefully, holding them out of reach.

“Virgil Alighieri, you give me back those cookies THIS INSTANT!” Patton stomped his foot.

Instead of giving them back Virgil yeeted them into the nearest trash can. Patton gasped, fighting the urge to cry. He wanted to shout at his brother but it came out more like a pathetic whine.

“Virgil!”

“I am NOT gonna let you eat your feelings again! You’ll make yourself sick. Remember last time?”

He did remember the last time. It was senior prom. Patton had plucked up the courage to ask the girl he liked at the time to go with him to prom and she said yes. Patton had been so excited he bought her a corsage in her favorite color and everything! The day of, however, she approached him after class to tell him she couldn’t go after all. Apparently her long distance boyfriend had flown in for a surprise visit and they were going to have a private dinner together instead. To be fair she had seemed genuinely sorry, even kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for being such an understanding sweetheart. Still, he was crushed. Virgil went as his date instead, but Patton had been so upset he wound up eating nearly all the food at the snack table. He’d spent the rest of the night throwing up in the bathroom. Patton could still remember the smell of puke and how green his face had looked in the mirror. Green like a snake…like Dio’s favorite animal…Dioooo!

The floodgates burst. Patton felt Virgil’s arms wrap around him as he sobbed into his brother’s shoulder.

“It’s okay bro, I’ve got you,” Virgil said, rubbing his back soothingly.

“H-how could he do that to me?” Patton cried. “How c-could h-he cheat? After six months! How could he LIE!?”

He was well aware that he was causing a scene. A grown man whimpering and sobbing in the middle of a bar wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. He didn’t care though. His heart was broken. Not even so much from the betrayal, but because he’d been foolish enough not to see it. To stay even when he’d felt so unhappy and unloved because he didn’t want to hurt the other person. He always thought it was worse to break someone else’s heart than to get your own heart broken. Boy was he wrong. Heartbreak feels so much worse!

“Patton, what’s wrong?” He heard Talyn’s concerned voice ask.

“Are you okay?” Joan asked, big brown eyes wide with worry.

Patton half turned out of Virgils arms to look at them both. “Noooo.”

“I saw Dio kissing someone else in the park.” Virgil explained. “’Nuff said?”

“Oh, that son of a—

“L-language,” said Patton.

“Oh Patton, I’m so sorry!” Talyn hugged him from behind.

“Yeah man,” Joan rubbed his arm gently. “You don’t deserve this.”

Don’t I though? Patton didn’t say this aloud though. He just let himself have a long time coming cry surrounded by his friends.

“Hey can we get some drinks over here?” One of the men at the bar shouted.

“Shut up!” Joan and Talyn shouted back. The guy slinked back in his seat grumbling about bad service.

Just when Patton thought he couldn’t make more of an embarrassed spectacle of himself, Roman bursts in through the door. Oh nononono I can’t let him see me like this. The thought only makes Patton cry harder.

“Greeting hungry and thirsty patrons! Logan, I got your text and lucky for you my rehearsal got out early tonight. Apparently the director ate a bad—“

That’s when he looked up and saw Patton. The smile on Roman’s face dropped and his brow wrinkled with worry. In just a few strides he was standing before Patton, who couldn’t for the life of him stop crying. Whether from sadness or embarrassment he couldn’t tell, maybe a bit of both, but the look of concern on Roman’ face quieted him just a little. Roman cupped his cheek’s gently in his warm hands, his thumbs wiping away some of Patton’s tears.

“Patton, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Are you sick? Virgil, what on earth happened!?”

Virgil filled him in on the story. It hurt Patton to hear it again, but he was too upset to explain it himself. His sobs had at least died down to hiccuped cries, but he still felt so heavy with sadness. As Roman heard the news his face went from worry to shock to anger and then…something else…something cold. He took a deep breath, turned back to Patton with tenderness in his eyes. Maybe it was because he was so raw with emotions, but Patton couldn’t help himself from practically falling into Roman’s arms. He needed more than just a brotherly hug. He needed to feel wanted. For a second Patton was worried that he’d overstepped a line of sorts, but instead of pushing him away Roman held him back. It wasn’t a long embrace but the warmth (maybe even love) that poured through was enough to finally soothed the storm in Patton’s heart. He wasn’t okay, but he felt safe in those strong yet gentle arms.

Eventually though Roman did pulled away reluctantly. Then he took Patton’s hand—the same one he’d bandaged a week ago—and kissed it. He smiled at Patton sadly and then gave a nod over his head to Virgil. The anxious artist nodded back and gently put an arm back around Patton. Roman turned around but Patton saw his fists clench and the muscles of his back tightened.

“I’m going to kill that creep,” said Roman, his voice low and filled with rage.

“Wha—“

He watched Roman storm away. Patton’s stomach twisted with worry. There was no denying Roman was strong and could hold his own, but so was Dio. The dancer was also fast and tricky. What if Roman got himself hurt? He couldn’t bare the thought.

“Roman where are you going?” Logan said as the actor passed the register. “You just got here.”

“Sorry boss. I’ve got a knuckle sandwich to deliver!”

“Roman, wait!” Patton reached out, but he was already out the door. “…Oh no…nonono he’s going to get himself hurt! Virgil!”

“He’ll be okay Patton.” Virgil squeezed his arm reassuringly. “Trust me. Princy will be just fine.”

“But what if something happens to him? What if Dio…”

The thought of anything bad happening to his strong, brave and sweet prince sent Patton into another fit of tears. His friends surrounded him with their embraces. It didnt stop the tears, but their love he felt from them was like a balm on his heart.

“Hey, what’s going on you guys?” Thomas asked, now out of the kitchen.

“Virgil, what the hell happened?” Alex asked.

Valerie came over to them as well. “Why did Roman storm out the door? Why is Patton crying?”

Virgil sighed. “I am so tired of being the messenger here. Joan, you mind?”

“Apparently Dio’s been fucking cheating on Patton so Roman went to kick his ass,” said Joan.

“WHAT!?” Valerie shrieked. “Oh sweetie,” she gave Patton an almost motherly hug.

“That bastard,” said Alex. “Good on Roman though. Hell, maybe I’ll go help him.”

“Dude, no.” Virgil gently held them back.

By then everyone was aware of what was going on and why. The newer faces were just annoyed by the lack of service and some were heading to Logan with their complaints. The regular patrons on the other hand were just as angry at Dio’s infidelity and probably could’ve made a pretty decent mob. However they opted instead to show support and comfort to their favorite fatherly bartender. Eventually though Logan broke through the small gathering of irate diners and came over to the bar. He pushed up his glasses, clearly confused and frustrated.

“What in the world is going on here? Customers are complaining. Why are none of you working? You know how swamped we are. And since when did we add a new sandwich to the menu? Why did Roman— Patton…Are you ill?”

“…No,” he sniffled. “Not exactly.”

“But then why are you so distressed?” Logan asked, concern and confusion painted across his usual stoic face.

“Patton is, uh, heartsick,” Talyn explained carefully. “Like how my head hurts real bad during migraines, except emotionally…”

Logan seemed to understand better but sighed. “Feelings. The bane of my existence.”

“I-I’m sorry Lo. I’ll g-get back to work. I just…just need a minute.”

Logan turned to the complaining customers, then back to his employees in front of him. Patton could practically see the wheels in his mind turning, puzzling the situation out. He placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?” he asked gently.

“Logan.”

“How bad?”

Patton sniffled. “…9…”

That seemed to settle it. Logan pulled out a chair from the nearest table and stood atop it. Then he cleared his throat.

“Attention everyone,” he said loudly. When they hushed he continued. “I have heard your complaints about the lagging service tonight, and I assure you this is not typical of Sanders’ Bar & Grill. That being said, due to a personal emergency, I shall be closing up early today.” Logan gave Patton, whose mouth was agape, a small reassuring smile before continuing. “Therefore I must ask you to kindly vacate the premises. I will see to it that those who’ve yet to receive their orders will be refunded and that you all receive a coupon for one free lunch...should you…come back. I…sincerely apologize for this gross inconvenience and while I hope you return, I shall understand if—“

“Logan, Relax,” said Terrence, getting up from his seat. “We understand.”

“Do what you gotta do man,” said Alex.

“We’ve been coming here long enough to know you’re good on your word,” said Madeline, her dog barked as well. “I’ll be back for that free lunch though.”

“This place has the best drinks in town,” said Valerie. “And the best bartenders. Where else am I going to go for happy hour?”

“We’ll be back,” said another regular.

“All of us,” said another.

Of course Logan was met with some complaints, but the glares from the Sanders’ regulars shut them up enough. Logan’s mouth quirked into a soft smile. He looked deeply touched by their loyalty, as well as relieved. Patton was touched by it as well. Logan stepped back down and readjusted his tie before ushering a few grumbling customers to the register. Meanwhile Thomas went to help close up the kitchen. Joan and Talyn went to clean up the place as well. Patton stayed close to the bar, but he wasn’t left alone. Not only did Virgil stay beside him, but his customers stopped by as well. He smiled as they all came up to him on their way out with words of comfort and reassurance. They called Dio an ass, and assured him that Roman would be okay. Some gave him hugs or squeezed his hand, telling him he’ll be okay; he deserves better. Their kindness meant the world to Patton, but part of him couldn’t help wondering if they were right. Did he really deserve better?

A half hour later the tables were cleaned, chairs flipped up onto the tables, and Sanders’ was officially closed early for the night. Logan had let everyone go home early, assuring them all they wouldn’t lose out on the day’s pay. An exhausted Joan and Talyn went home, giving Patton another hug goodbye first, but Thomas stayed behind. He was worried about Roman as well and wanted to make sure he got back all right. Sometimes Patton forgot how close of friends the two were.

Patton of course stayed as well. Virgil insisted on not leaving his brother and Patton was grateful for that. He was all cried out now but the heaviness hadn’t left his heart. Now that he knew the truth about Dio, what was he supposed to do? Were they officially over? Dio didn’t know that Patton knew, but did that matter since he was the one that cheated? It’s not like Patton wouldn’t have every right to leave him…but could he face being alone again?

A sudden ringing startled Patton from his thoughts. It was the bar’s landline phone. Logan walked over and answered.

“Salutations, Sanders’ Bar & Grill. I apologize but we are closed for the— Yes this is he...Wait, where is he? ….I see….Very well. I’ll be right there. Yes, I shall indeed. Alright. Thank you.” He hung up the phone.

“What was that about?” asked Virgil.

“That was the police station,” said Logan, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Apparently Roman has been arrested.”

“What?” said Patton and Virgil.

“Is he okay?” asked Thomas.

“For now, but I have to go. I’ll be back. Thomas, watch the place until I get back.”

“No prob Logan.”

With a curt nod, Logan was out the door. Thomas slumped into a chair, running a hand through his hair, and Virgil was doing breathing exercises to keep from panicking. They both stopped however when they saw that Patton was still standing in the middle of the room trebling.

“Patton?…Bro, it’s gonna be okay,” said Virgil.

“Yeah, Logan’s on the case. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Thomas said.

“Excuse me please,” Patton said in a rush as he retreated to the back storage room.

Once he was alone Patton tried to calm himself down. His hands shook and he paced around the small room. Thoughts of Roman locked in some small cell, possibly hurt, and all alone invaded his mind. Oh my poor precious impulsive knight in shining armor. He can’t do hard time. He won’t survive in jail. It’s full of too many bad people and he hates the color orange. Oh why oh why did I let you go?

His phone rang then and he jumped at the sound. He checked and saw it was a text. From Dio.

Boyfriend <3: I need you to come pick me up at the park.

That’s it? That’s all he had to say to him!? Patton frowned and dialed the number. He heard the phone ringing and eventually Dio’s voice on the other line.

“Patton? Did you get my text?”

“Dio. What happened?”

“What happened you ask? I’ll tell you what happened. Your crazy co-worker came out of nowhere and jumped me at the park! He kept screaming that I stay away from you, the psycho. But don’t worry I –ow— took care of him.”

Patton gasped. “Wha-what happened to Roman? What did you do to him?”

“What are you worried about him for? He attacked me. Gee, I expected a little more sympathy from my boyfriend. But if you want to know, he only managed to land a few hits. He’s –ow, ouch— he’s in way worse shape than me.”

Even Patton could tell he was lying. Hard to tell a decent fib when you were in pain. Even so, what if he was telling the truth? What if Roman really was hurt?

“By that point the cops came by and I told them how he assaulted me. They took care of him. Good riddance. I wouldn’t want you around the likes of him. But uh…I really do need to get picked up. And uh, maybe we could stop by, like, City MD or something? Not that I need it. Can you come by or what?”

Patton said nothing for a moment. Then he straightened his back, felt something settle in him like a stone. “Ask your other boyfriend.”

“…What?”

“Ask. Your other. Boyfriend.”

“What are you talking abo—

“You’ve been seeing someone else, haven’t you.”

“Now Patton, where would you get a silly idea like that?”

“Please Dio, for once in your life don’t lie to me! Have you been cheating on me? Yes or no?”

“...Patton, kitten, you know I love you.”

“No… You love yourself. But you know what? So do I. And maybe I am too nice for my own good, but I have enough self-respect to know that I deserve better than a lying, cheating slimy snake for a boyfriend! …Its over Dio.”

“You can’t just leave me.”

“Sure I can. Goodbye.”

Patton hung up then immediately deleted Dio’s phone number and texts before he could think twice. Good thing he let Virgil convince him not to move in with Dio after four months. It was finally over. Patton let out a shuddered breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He realized then that his glasses were blurry with tears, but even so he felt…better. Like his chest was finally free of the heavy weight from before. A small laugh escaped his lips. Patton was proud of himself…but there was still one big fear that had its claws sunken into his heart and wouldn’t let go.

“Oh Roman, please be okay.”

FINAL-->

Tag List: @altruistic-skittles @thekeytohappiness-is-you @canadian-crofters@icecoldparadise @bluebloodstains @purpleshipper@patchworkofstars@axyzel @hissesssss @beautifully-terribly @pink-and-purple-flowers@jynxlovesluck @thatsanswitch @6tick6tock6 @hanramz-the-fander @azlinne @helplesscreator @thestoryofme13 @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah@accidental-sanders @moonstonefox12 @hissesssss @smokeyrutilequartz @phlying-squirrel @madly-handsome @puns-and-patton @notveryglittery @eequalsmcscared @safesandersides @lizziepopanime @anxiously-unsatisfied-world @beautifully-terribly @justisaisfine

#My writing #Bar & Grill AU #royality #sanders sides fanfic #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #thomas sanders #joan and talyn #sanders sides fandom #original characters #deceit sanders #fanders #i know its long im sorry #KDsWriting

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passionpluto · 6 years ago

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Most Explicit Ponies (based off flagged SFW posts I’ve reblogged)

This tally was completed while I was clearing my Tumblr of potentially “explicit” posts, because I’m a librarian in training and I’m way too curious about these things. Without further ado:

Silver Spoon—II

Princess Luna—III

Scootaloo—III

Sweetie Belle—II

Apple Bloom—II

Cozy Glow—I

Diamond Tiara—II

Babs Seed—IIIII (A filly, who also happens to be my second favorite Crusader, has more “explicit” marks than anypony else. Thanks, I hate it!)

Applejack—I

Twilight Sparkle—I (Granted, this one WAS a “sexy nurse” costume which, while still SFW, is a trope that can get explicit very quickly.)

Princess Celestia—II

MLP parents—I (This is a collective one in memory of the “MLP characters who have canonically fucked” post.)

Autumn Blaze—I (Apparently, kirins are the most R-rated species in MLP, as Celestia and Luna as kirins were also flagged. Keep that in mind when creating your OCs!)

Queen Chrysalis—II (All the Chrysalis fanart I reblogged was SFW, as with the other ponies, but somehow, this makes sense. It’s what she would have wanted.)

Princess Cadance—I

Coco Pommel—I (I’m halfway through now, and I have no frickin’ clue how no art of Tempest or Rarity has been tagged yet. I thought they would be front-runners!)

Pinkie Pie—I

Starlight Glimmer—II

The entire “ponies spinning on records” meme from 2013—I (I am NOT counting all the ponies for this)

(UPDATE: Even as kirins, Tempest and Rarity still aren’t sexy enough to be flagged. Also, I’m really glad none of the ship pics are flagged? I was kinda worried about that with the number of lesbian ships in the fandom.)

The MLP movie—I (Literally just an anniversary post with backgrounds from the film.)

Coloratura—I

Nurse Redheart—I (Nurses should be allowed to wear their uniforms without being subjected to the “sexy nurse” trope.)

Trixie—I

Spike—I

Mr. Cake—I

Mrs. Cake—I

Discord—I (Apparently, Discord’s only sexy when he’s walking a dog, pass it on!)

Photo Finish—I

Ember—I

Fluttershy—I (Another weird “holding a dog makes her sexy” deal.)

Spitfire—I

Zecora—I

Uncle Orange—I

Aunt Orange—I

FINAL VERDICT—Luna is most explicit because I refuse to acknowledge the other possibilities. Also, very, very surprised no Rarity, Sunset, Tempest or Adagio art I reblogged got tagged.

#mlp:fim #my little pony #tumblr #my post #absolutely useless information

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deadly-dearie-moved · 6 years ago

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updated faq and taglist

question: who or what are you? answer: i’m celia ernestine. some people call me ernie. i have no favored pronouns, you may refer to me as whatever you like, but i generally go by female/she/her. i run this multimuse roleplay blog, and all my muses are also my c'kins/c'links.

question: what’s a c'kin/c'link? answer: coping kin, or coping link, c'kin/c'link for short, are kins used to cope with mental illnesses or personality disorders.

question: what’s the purpose of this blog? answer: for me to have fun, find peace, cope with my illness and relax. i post the things i love and find cute. sometimes i post nsfw and pretty intense themes too, so i’d rather have you be at least 16 years old. but who am i to tell you anything, i’m not your mum.

question: you mentioned you use this blog to ‘cope with your illness’. what illness? answer: i have borderline personality disorder, impulsive type, and antisocial personality disorder, covetous type. please look it up when you’re interested in what it is.

question: is there something i should avoid when getting it contact with you? answer: please read my rules before interacting. please use trigger warnings for graphic descriptions or pictures. if we never talked before and i don’t reply within two days, i’m probably not around, please be a bit more patient. if i’ve already given you a heads up before, or just don’t feel comfortable with you or your muse(s) to the point i don’t want to interact anymore, i most likely deleted your message. re-sending a message or nudging me to reply won’t make me reply faster, it will only piss me off, and when i’m pissed off, there is a good chance that i will maybe not talk to you for even longer, so please just be patient and wait until i reply. you can ask me if the message even arrived, though, because sometimes it just gets lost on the way. also, please keep your hate, muse bullying and spamming to yourselves; life is hard enough without anyone getting on my nerves anyway.

question: do i need to be afraid of you because of your kins and illness? answer: not at all, darling. despite the personality disorders, my kins/muses are all pretty chill. xibalba might be a bit uncomfortable sometimes because he kind of gives me a holier-than-thou attitude and makes me feel divine, but it’s also a pretty fun shift, with lots of dark humor, sarcasm and innuendos. same with lucifer, actually, but he’s a bit more pained and perverted. the ernesto shift is the shift i experience the most, it’s the most similar to my actual personality. he’s a funny guy, very talkative and outgoing and protective most of the time, but he can also have his… phases. tharja shifts are very uncomfortable, i mostly get them when i’m very angry or very sad; she hates people, she hates existence itself and wishes to destroy everything and everyone. luckily, it passes rather quickly. the shift i experience the least often is camilla, but she’s very warm and loving, a soft and kind soul most of the time.

question: what else is there to know about you? answer: i can be a tad childish sometimes and like to give myself and others cutesy nicknames, please bare with me. i use endearing pronouns and heart emojis a lot. i looove getting to know people, so don’t be shy, you can talk to be about anything you want and i’ll be sure to answer when i can!

tag list

xibalba - posts about xibalba.

ernesto - posts about ernesto de la cruz.

camilla - posts about princess camilla of nohr.

tharja - posts about tharja.

lucifer - posts about lucifer.

the book of life/tbol - posts about the book of life in general.

coco - posts about coco in general.

fire emblem fates/conquest/birthright - posts about fire emblem fates in general.

fire emblem awakening - posts about fire emblem awakening in general.

lucifer series - posts about the lucifer series in general.

nsfw ...ish - posts that contain slight nsfw.

nsfw - posts that contain nudity or sexual themes.

yandere/yande.re/obsessive/possessive - posts that contain unhealthily obsessive or possessive themes.

mi amor - posts about la muerte.

beloved - posts about héctor rivera.

dearest - posts about benny.

sweetie - posts about ignatius.

wifey - posts about sartana of the dead.

curse magnet - posts about virion.

angel - posts about chloe decker.

charlotte - posts about charlotte de la cruz (adopted daughter/oc).

machete - posts about machete, son of sartana (adopted son).

django - posts about django, son of machete (adopted grandson).

camila - posts about camila, wife of machete (adopted daughter-in-law/oc).

gravepainters - muse shipping, xibalba/la muerte.

ernector - muse shipping, ernesto/héctor.

benilla - muse shipping, benny/camilla.

virja - muse shipping, virion/tharja.

sarnesto - muse shipping, ernesto/sartana.

deckerstar - muse shipping, lucifer/chloe.

bpd/actuallybpd/beingbpd/tw bpd - posts about borderline personality disorder. aspd/actuallyaspd/beingaspd/tw aspd - posts about antisocial personality disorder.

ask/answered/unanswered - answered or unanswered asks (duh).

ask/rp/not rp/rp related - whether an ask is an rp ask, rp related or not (duhh).

reply/continued - continued rp by reblog.

headcanon/my post/mine - i think you can imagine what this means.

any other tags are mostly self explanatory.

sucess doesn’t come for free (positivity) - cute, friendly or helpful ernesto answers.

el mundo es mi familia (family) - ernesto’s family members

he’s a threat (negativity) - sad, triggering or hurtful ernesto answers.

seize your moment (nsfw) - nsfw ernesto answers.

much needed advice - advice from ernesto.

you’re so cute (positivity) - cute, friendly or helpful camilla answers.

sorry darling (negativity) - sad, triggering or hurtful ernesto answers.

no matter where you are i’ll be there (family) - xibalba’s family members. how about a wager? (positivity) - cute, friendly or helpful xibalba answers. you cheated - again! (negativity) - sad, triggering or hurtful xibalba answers.

will keep this list updated.

#taglist #faq #updated #update

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cassiopeiasara · 7 years ago

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How I Learned to Sort Through the Pieces

What started as a one scene follow up to 1.05 turned into this. It’s very Kat centric but with a kadena endgame. Also on ao3. Usual disclaimers apply. Most of these characters (there’s two OCs in here) do not belong to me but this mess of a story does.

They're waiting for her at the station two blocks from Adena's apartment. It's all she can do not to burst into tears at the sight of them. It's Sutton who reaches for her first but Jane's arms are only a second behind.

"Let's get you home," whispers Sutton.

They sandwich her between them on the subway. Kat nestles in Sutton's neck and holds Jane's hand. She longs and she aches and she's surprised her tears are still at bay with how much it feels like is pouring out of her. One of them, Jane probably, fishes in her purse for her key and unlocks the door. They pause after the door closes.

"Can we get you anything?" asks Jane.

Kat just shakes her head. Sutton moves her to the bedroom, Kat somehow climbs in but it doesn't register, autopilot kicking in. She feels the bed dip on both sides and soon they have her between them just like the subway. She drifts to sleep with the words I booked a flight, we're going to try to work things out repeating an endless loop inside her head.

It's the middle of the night when she wakes up, sore as hell and delirious for a moment, even hopeful that the arm slung around her waist is Adena. That hope is easy when Jane is no longer in front of her. Then she remembers, slowly then all at once and she feels the tears well in her eyes.

"Hey," says Sutton as she nudges Kat's waist.

Kat wipes her eyes before she turns to face her. "I was ready this time. I was actually ready."

"I know and I'm so proud of you."

She cups Kat's cheek and that's when the tears finally flow. Sutton rocks her and wipes her cheeks. It should be soothing but Kat still feels like she's falling apart, like she's breaking at the seams and there isn't a way to put herself back together again.

"Is it always like this?" She manages to choke out between sobs.

"No," says Sutton. "But it never feels that way when it's this fresh." She squeezes Kat and Kat bursts anew.

In the morning, Sutton cooks breakfast and Kat drags herself into the shower, wanting nothing more than to curl back into bed and wallow. Adulthood is a bitch.

She doesn't taste any of the food but she eats anyway because Sutton looks at her like a mother who won't take no for an answer. Bless her.

*****

She throws herself into work, stays late, comes in early. She feels like a zombie but Scarlet’s twitter stats are up and it's good to excel at something. She lasts three days before she looks at Coco's Instagram. There's a picture of Adena on a balcony, the one from their apartment if previous pictures are any indication, her eyes are weary and she looks exhausted. There's a moment where Kat feels such a kinship with that look because it speaks of trying when you're not sure you want to.

Then Jane leans over her shoulder and whispers, "It won't help, babe."

Kat clicks out of the app and sighs. "I know."

****

Two months later and she feels less like a zombie. She makes sure to steer clear of both Coco and Adena's social media accounts, slipping up only once to see them vacationing in Italy. The look on Adena's face hasn't changed and she tries not to read too much into it.

Jane slips by her desk and smiles, the look in her eyes telling Kat she wants something. "Hey sweetie."

Kat doesn't turn fully away from her computer but tilts her head in acknowledgement. "Hey."

"So I have to write an article on speed dating and I'm wondering if you want to join."

Kat raises her eyebrows and finally turns around. "What?"

Jane's smile widens and Kat hates that she's probably going to say yes. "You know, you switch between people every 5 minutes, mark who you like and get potential dates at the end."

"What about pinstripe?"

Jane shrugs. "It's just an article and he and I aren't anything more than a convenience."

Kat shakes her head because if there is something Jane isn't good at, it's keeping things casual. "How bout Alex?"

"He's busy.” Jane starts to bash her eyelashes and pouts. “Please Kat, come on, you don't have to stay if you don't want to and even if you find someone capitable, you don't have to date them."

Kat sighs. "Fine." Jane starts to bounce on the edge of the desk. Kat holds up a finger. "But you owe me dinner."

Jane kisses her cheek. "Done, we leave at 7."

****

Kat hesitates as she fills out her card. There are options and for the first time, she realizes she might be curious about them. She can mark men only, women only, or men and women.

"Hey are you ready?" Jane stands next to her with her name tag, evaluation card and number.

Kat quickly checks the men and women box and hands her card to the organizer. "Yeah, let's get this over with."

The first couple of men are duds and Kat is thinking of all the ways Jane will have to make this up to her when a woman sits down. She's wearing a navy maxi dress with a few silver bracelets dangling from each arm and hoops Kat also owns.

"Hey," she says. Kat's eyes flicker down to her name tag, Nicki.

Kat extends a hand. "Hi." There's something that piques her curiosity when they shake hands.

"Kat, what do you do?" Nicki’s tone is warm and her smile is kind.

"Social media director. How bout you?"

Nicki places her hand on her chest and Kat tries not to think of someone else and you touched me here too. "Nurse."

Kat nods, clearing the memory away and reminding herself that things are different now. She can move on. She needs to. "Wow, that's awesome."

Nicki chuckles and drops her hand. "Some days yeah, others I think of all the things I'd rather be."

Kat smiles. "I know what you mean."

Nicki gestures towards the room. "So what brings you here?"

"A friend."

Nicki nods. "A friend suggested it to me too. It's not usually my style, I mean how much can you know anyone in five minutes?"

Kat feels something ease in her chest and she laughs. "Right? It seems like a weird way to try to get to meet people."

Nicki leans on her open palm and something about that movement makes Kat lean in closer. "It's efficient though and I guess most of us decide in the first few minutes if someone is interesting anyway." Her lips turn up into a sly smile and it makes Kat's cheeks warm.

"Yeah, I guess--"

The bell rings for them to switch and Kat almost screams because it can't be five minutes already. Nicki nods as she stands up.

"Nice to meet you, Kat."

Kat nods back. "You too, Nicki."

The next hour goes by in a blur of boring to semi-interesting men and women. Kat ends up with five people she might like, two men and three women and turns in her card.

Jane sighs as they wait for their match cards. "Well, that was a lot. Want to go for Thai?"

Kat nods. "Sounds good."

Their numbers are called and Kat finds herself more eager to find her matches than she anticipated. All five people say yes to her but it's Nicki's name at the top that stands out the most. There's a number listed and Kat wonders how much time is allowed before it's weird to follow up.

She tries to catch a glimpse of Nicki as they walk out but there are too many people and Jane is starving.

****

It's Nicki who calls her in the end and they go for coffee somewhere Alex raved about in his last review.

Nicki is in pants this time, her long curly hair pinned up and a necklace Kat knows Sutton would kill for.

They sit at a small table and Kat notices that Nicki's smile is just as charming in the day time.

"So do you get any other perks besides merch and access to a closet full of designer clothes?"

Kat shrugs. "Depends on the week I guess and what we're trying to promote."

Nicki nods and sips her coffee. "My sister works in publishing, she's always sending me books I never have time to read."

Kat smiles. "I know how you feel."

Nicki winks. "Watch any good TV lately? I feel like I'm ten years behind everyone else."

Kat chuckles and goes into a spiel about her latest Netflix find. Nicki is fun and she's easy to talk to but Kat can't help but compare. She doesn't captivate her like Adena had and Kat feels less like she's tripping over every word.

Maybe it's better this way. Maybe this is what Sutton meant when she said it doesn't always hurt as bad.

****

Jane and Sutton love Nicki and there are times where Kat feels like she might be able to as well. Nicki doesn't pressure her into labeling who they are to each other, she's fun and spontaneous and always makes Kat feel light and free.

They've been seeing each other for a month when Adena calls. Kat's in a meeting when it happens. She runs to the bathroom as her heart races at the name and the thirty second voicemail.

"Kat, it's me. I hope you are well. There's so much to tell you and so much I wish...anyway I'm headed to California for an exhibit then I'll stop in New York before I fly back to Paris. I know it's...it's a lot to ask but I want to see you if it is possible. I understand if you do not want to. Just let me know."

She replays it three times before she exits the bathroom. She gets caught up in the pauses and the hesitation. She lets Adena’s voice flow over her and she can’t help but want more. She wanders back to her desk in a trance. Three months of nothing and now this. Her phone chimes and she jumps slightly.

It's Nicki. A picture of her laid in a spare hospital bed with the caption I'm dying.

Kat bites her lip and scans for Sutton or Jane because what the hell is the protocol when your kind of ex wants to see you and you really want to say yes. They're both out but Michelle, a writer she's only shared a few words with but knows is a lesbian is throwing a paper ball in the air with headphones on. She’s probably listening to her latest pick of albums for their new music review.

Kat taps her on the shoulder and steadies her chair as Michelle almost falls out of it. Kat offers her an apologetic smile.

"Hey can we talk?"

Michelle knits her eyebrows and shrugs, pointing to an empty conference room. She takes a seat on the couch and Kat starts to pace. Michelle tilts her head up at her.

"What's up?"

"So I'm having a bit of a crisis and I like, don't want to be offensive, but Sutton and Jane are out and really you might know more about what to do than they would anyway because, well, you date women and sometimes it feels like this whole other world."

Michelle arches an eyebrow and draws out her response. "Okay."

"It's just, I really liked this woman and it freaked me out you know because I don't really like people. I'm more of a one night stand kind of girl then we kinda had a thing but I ended it because I was scared then when I was ready she got back with her ex. Now I'm kind of seeing someone but the original woman is coming in two weeks and wants to see me and I don't want to lie to the woman I'm seeing now but how do you begin to explain something like this?"

Michelle nods and holds up a hand as if to calm Kat down. "So first things first, deep breath."

Kat stops pacing and breathes. "Ok."

Michelle smiles. "Good, now the new girl--"

"Nicki."

Michelle nods. "Nicki, are you two exclusive?"

Kat shrugs. "Kind of, we haven't really discussed specifics other than not sleeping with anyone else."

"All right, good, so things like this are only really a problem if you still have feelings for your ex."

Does she still have feelings for Adena? Does she even count as an ex?

Kat bites her lip, releases it, and sighs. "I don't know."

Michelle shrugs. "Well, that's not a no."

Kat shakes her head and sits opposite Michelle on the couch. “See, this is why that whole no attachments thing is easier.”

Michelle smiles then. “Yeah, I get that. Look, I think if you’re freaking out this much about it, you should probably tell Nicki. You could go and nothing happens but if you go and something does, you’ll hate yourself for lying.”

Kat nods. “That makes sense.”

Michelle pats her arm. “You’re doing fine, Kat. Just be honest with everyone and things will be ok.”

****

“The Adena? The one you pined for then ran back to her ex?”

They’re spread out on Kat’s couch sharing a glass of wine and Kat wants to drown the whole thing to wipe away the nerves she feels buzzing from all of this.

“Yeah,” she answers. She throws a hesitant smile Nicki’s way as Nicki takes in the information.

Nicki sips her wine and sighs. “You gotta go.”

Kat knits her eyebrows. “What?”

Nicki shrugs. “Kat, you know I like you. I think your friends are hilarious, I admire the tenacity you have in your career and well, who couldn’t love your dimples?” Kat feels herself blush at the compliment and Nicki nudges Kat’s leg with her foot. “Obviously, I hope it’s a disaster but if it isn’t, you gotta know right? Cause you’ll always wonder.”

Kat’s chest warms with affection for this woman she can’t believe she gets to know. “Thanks, Nicki.”

Nicki smiles softly. “You just let me know. No hard feelings either way, I promise.” Kat knows she’s sincere but she doesn’t miss the small sadness that lingers in Nicki’s eyes.

Damn, this lesbian shit is still intense.

****

Those freaking butterflies are still there and damn her traitorous body when she’s trying to play it cool. Adena smiles as they linger awkwardly in the doorway of the restaurant. Adena lifts her hands for a moment as if to hug her but ultimately decides against it.

They’re seated quickly and as soon as the waiter leaves, Adena speaks. “How are you?”

Kat swallows thickly. The question seems almost flippant with what lies between them. “I’m good. How was your exhibit?”

Adena nods. “It was good. The response was everything I hoped it would be.”

“That’s good.” She doesn’t mean to ask it so early but the question burns in her chest and she just has to know. “How, um, how is Coco?”

Adena takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “She’s fine. She decided that I was right three months ago. We, well, we’re not--”

The waiter interrupts and they scramble to order, Kat immediately forgetting what she asks for. She watches the waiter walk back to the kitchen until Adena calls her name.

“Kat?”

She flips her gaze back and tries to quell the rising satisfaction that things may finally be where she wanted them just a few months ago.

“Uh, yeah?”

Adena places her arms on the table slightly, running a hand up and down her upper arm. “I wanted you to know that Coco and I are broken up, officially. I’m thinking--”

“I’m seeing someone.” It comes out in such a rush that Kat isn’t completely sure it happens.

Adena drops her hands to her lap and tilts her head. “Oh?”

“Yeah, um, she’s a nurse. I met her through this speed dating night and I really didn’t think it would happen.”

Adena’s face falls and Kat thinks this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “Well, she sounds lovely.”

She isn’t you, she wants to add but the words get caught in her throat. “She is.”

“I was hoping, well, it doesn’t matter.” Adena reaches to take a sip of her water and turns her eyes from Kat’s.

Come back to me, Kat thinks but the message never crosses her lips. They manage by some miracle to make it through their dinner. The tension eases when they focus on work and Adena’s travel plans. They hug outside the restaurant and it should feel awkward but it’s mostly comfortable and achingly familiar.

Adena gives her arm a squeeze as they part. “I want you to be happy, Kat.”

Kat smiles. “You too, Adena.”

“Perhaps next time I can meet this nurse?”

Kat knits her eyebrows. “Next time?”

“I’ll be back in three months, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, just let me know.”

Adena nods and leaves.

****

When she sees Nicki the next day, there’s a distance that wasn’t there before and it feels so ridiculous but it’s there.

Nicki pauses halfway through dinner and sets her fork down. “It was good wasn’t it?”

Kat tilts her head. “What?”

Nicki sighs. “You and Adena?”

Kat shrugs. “It was awkward actually.”

Nicki smiles sadly and reaches over to squeeze Kat’s hand. “It was good.”

Kat feels like she might cry because this is what she wants. Nights in and good conversation, snarky comments while watching TV, lazy Saturday afternoons and concerts in the park. The only problem is, she can’t bring herself to want it with Nicki.

Nicki rises and kisses her on the cheek. “Let me know if it doesn’t work out.” When she shuts the door, Kat feels like a weight lifts from her chest but there is also a guilt that lingers because maybe it’s proof that she really can’t do this.

****

Adena comes in three days early and suprises Kat at work. Michelle escorts her to Kat’s desk and winks when Kat asks her in the hallway who’s here.

“Adena,” she greets as they both go in for a hug. “You weren’t supposed to be here till Friday.”

Adena smiles as they part. “I suppose I’m a little excited.” They haven’t discussed the fact that they’re both single or that Adena’s work visa is three years long thanks to a contract with two different galleries.

Kat smiles and gestures towards Jacqueline’s office. “Well, just let me say goodbye and we’ll go for lunch.”

“Oh, I don’t want to disturb you. I just wanted to let you know I’m here.”

Kat shakes her head. “It’s ok, I was going to leave for lunch anyway.”

They settle in the park with their food and Kat settles a stack of napkins between them, a Scarlet paperweight keeping them from flying everywhere.

Kat takes a deep breath and turns to Adena. “Can I ask you something?”

Adena nods. “Of course.”

“Do you think, well, since you’ll be here for a while and since we’re both, damn,” she shakes her head and adds, “this went a lot better in the mirror?”

Adena chuckles. “Kat, would you like to go out with me?”

Kat sighs and smiles. “Yeah, I think I’d like it a lot.”

#my fanfiction #kat x adena #kadena #not beta'd #all mistakes are mine

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krowepoison · 7 years ago

Note

If you could meet one OC who would you choose? How would it go?

Probably Lena, as she’s my kindest OC and the most likely to be nice to me. Probably would end up with her making me hot coco and asking about my day cause she’s a sweetie.

#Lena

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hellomissmabel · 8 years ago

Text

Manhattan Mistress part 8

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader, Tony x reader and OC!Casey (daughter of Y/N and Tony)

Summary: Casey can’t sleep so you tell her a story. Steve turns out to be much more of a bad boy than you initially anticipated. Inspired by “Gangsta“ by Kehlani.

Word count: 4.176

Warnings: Some fluff, definitely some smut, talk of murder and cheating. Foul language too? Please do not read belong the cut if you’re not comfortable with any of forementioned!

A/N: Dedicated to my favourite mob AU writer @caplanbuckybarnes. Enjoy sweetie!

Part 6: the white noise

Part 7: the waiting game

Disclaimer: I do not own this pic, credit goes to the rightful owner.

The heathens

I need a gangsta To love me better Than all the others do To always forgive me Ride or die with me That’s just what gangsters do

It’s 2 a.m. in the morning and I’m contemplating life.

Well, I’m not exactly contemplating my life but more like the mob life in general. After my doctor’s appointment in, let’s say, 6 maybe 7 hours from now, fate will either have screwed me over or given me the greatest gift of all. But what do I have to offer this tiny human being apart from a very fucked up family and even more fucked up friends?

Natasha is an alcoholic and Clint gets off on blood and gore. Sam is a frequent visitor of Fury’s casino’s and an avid gambler, although I’m fairly sure that sooner rather than later he’ll choke on one of his precious peanuts first. As for Wanda, well, who knows what that little bitch is hooked on? Fortune cookies maybe?

What can I say, all my friends are heathens.

The baby’s two potential fathers aren’t much better either. Bucky’s practically a chimney with the way he’s been smoking cigarettes by the dozen these past couple days and Steve’s hunger for power will one day come back to bite him in the ass. My only hope is that my child won’t be a sex addict like her mother, that would bring me at least some small relief.

And God knows what’s on that flash drive I stole from Tony the other week. Every time I think about what I had to do in order to get my hands on it, cold shivers start to run up and down my spine. I swore I would never let that man lay a hand on me again and I broke my oath to myself. He’s neither a good nor a bad person yet all the skeletons I might find when I pay Scott a visit tomorrow might be too much for me to bear. I’m afraid of what I might find.

But I’m even more afraid of the consequences of what I did to obtain this information.

Scott’s a professional Dad but spends his free time playing the role of an ethical hacker. Even though I don’t know Scott that well, he has done some favours for me in the past and I greatly appreciate his help. He also knows that once he dares jeopardize our friendship, he will no longer have enough money to take care of himself, let alone his daughter. He says he found some interesting, highly encrypted files that I might find useful although he wouldn’t disclose anything else and sounded quite hesitant when I confronted him about it. Even so, he is willing to share them with me for a fair price and I also agreed to pay him a bit extra in exchange for his silence.

“Mommy?” A child’s voice disrupts my train of thoughts and I shoot up in my bed, quickly looking over to the other side of the bed to check if I didn’t wake up Steve but he’s still sound asleep, snoring a little and adorably scrunching his nose.

“Yes, Casey? Is everything alright?” My little girl is standing in the doorway, holding her teddy close to her chest and wiggling her feet, big brown eyes peering at me through the dim lighting of the moon.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and walk over to her, picking Casey up in my arms and nuzzling my nose in the nape of her neck which makes her giggle just a little. “Did you have another bad dream, honey?”

She doesn’t say anything, just rests her cheek on my shoulder while I carry her downstairs, careful not to make too much noise and startle Steve. I sit her down on the kitchen counter, leaning my forehead against hers as I cup her tiny face in my hands, my thumbs tracing the dimples in her soft cheeks as she laughs.

“Mommy that tickles!,” she titters and I ask her if she’d like me to make her some hot coco. She eagerly nods and as I gather all the ingredients, she tells me about her bad dream. It’s nothing too scary but she’s a little shaken up nonetheless.

“You want to hear a story?,” I propose and she cheers, waving her hands in the air and reaching out for the cup of chocolate milk. “Careful, little bug, it’s hot.”

Sitting down next to her on the kitchen counter, nursing my own mug of the sweet liquid, I begin to tell her the story of how her mommy and daddy met, experience reminding me it’s most likely the only story she’ll want to hear. “When mommy was younger, she was very in love with a boy called James. But you see, your grandfather didn’t like James so he scared him away and made mommy really sad.”

She makes a disappointed sound as tears well up in her eyes. “Mommy don’t be sad,” she pouts and I pull her in for a hug, kissing the crown of her head and murmuring a reassuring “As long as you’re here, little bug, mommy will never be sad.”

After a minute or so I release her, resuming my story. “Then mommy met daddy who was one of your grandfather’s friends. You see, your daddy had been in love with your mommy for a very long time. But he never said anything because mommy is much younger than daddy and daddy was afraid your grandfather would disapprove. He was the only one who saw how unhappy mommy was and he tried to make it better.”

“Did he kiss it better just like you do with all my booboos?,” she asks innocently, eyes wide in eagerness and batting her thick eyelashes at me.

I chuckle softly. “Yes he did. Then mommy fell in love with your daddy too and we were very happy. And just when we thought life couldn’t get any better, we had you.” Casey’s eyes are twinkling with curiosity. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve already told her the story, she always seems to enjoy it more and more.

Nevertheless, there’s a downside to this story, one Casey knows all too well. “But daddy has a very busy job and with daddy work always came first, making mommy very sad again.”

Puckering, her little hands squeeze yours. “Is that why you met Steve? Tell me, mommy, I want to know,” she quips with her adorable childlike enthusiasm.

“You remember Sam’s bar, the Cuckoo’s Nest?” Casey shakes her head yes. “Well, mommy used to be a singer there too when she was younger and that’s how she met Steve. One night he came to see me sing and he paid mommy a big compliment.”

“I told her she had the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard.”

Unbeknownst to you, Steve had woken up shortly after you and Casey went downstairs. He wondered where you had gone and went to take a peek in Casey’s room when he heard your voice. Tiptoeing down the stairs, he remained hidden in the dark shadow of the staircase, eavesdropping on the two of you to see what you were discussing in the middle of the night.

He didn’t like hearing how much you used to love Bucky. The only reason he ever employed the guy is because it’s the only way he could ever keep an eye on him. Steve knows Bucky and his wife are too close for comfort, but there’s nothing he can do about it as long as Tony’s still in the picture. He promised himself that he would get rid of that fucker first before messing with Y/N’s boy toy. However, that doesn’t mean he’s just going to stand idly by when you reminiscence about your lovers Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark. So when you reached the subject of how your first meeting, he decided to intervene.

“You see, I had heard many great stories about your mommy’s voice, but I still wanted to hear it for myself. One night I let the people who were working on my campaign at the time off work early and found myself taking a detour to Sam’s bar. It’s been a while since I had seen him and I wanted to catch up. I didn’t know your mother was going to sing there that evening, but I hoped she would.”

Your little girl is absolutely infatuated with Steve and it awakens a small sting of envy and concern in your chest. It’s understandable that Casey is the apple of Tony’s eye, but the prospect that Steve might be equally besotted with your daughter is something you have never given too much thought. Until now.

“So when Sam noticed just how much Y/N had me under her spell, he asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Of course I said yes and we spent the entire night talking. Sam even had to kick us out in the end,” Steve says coming to stand behind to you, lacing his arms around your waist and pecking your cheek before resting his chin on the top of your head.

You allow yourself to lean into his broad frame, the comfortable and familiar warmth of his body making you feel at home. A house is not a home until you have someone to come home to, your nanny always used to say. Yet you’re fairly sure your nanny would’ve disagreed with that someone being Steve. She never liked Bucky either and only knew Tony for a brief period of time before she passed away, but she valued her principles more than anything else and if she were still alive, she would’ve smacked you in the face for sleeping with a married man.

Casey holds her hand in front of her mouth, stifling a yawn. “Is my little bug tired?,” Steve coos sweetly and she answers his question with a beaming yet lazy smile, her eyes already falling shut.

“I’ll take her to her room and tuck her in,” Steve suggests, kissing you lightly on the lips before cradling Casey in his arms and carrying her sleepy form upstairs.

You finish your hot coco and follow suit, sliding underneath the duvet and listening to the sounds coming from the room next to the master bedroom. You can make out Steve’s affectionate voice and Casey’s exhausted sniggers, hearing how he promises her to take her out for ice-cream the next day if she has a good night sleep.

I’m fucked up, I’m black and blue I’m built for all the abuse I got secrets that nobody, nobody, nobody knows I’m good on that pussy shit I don’t want what I can get I want someone with secrets that nobody, nobody, nobody knows

A minute or so later, the door to your bedroom creaks open and Steve joins you in the bed. Lazily throwing his arm around you, he rolls you on top of him until your body is draped over his in a warm unison. Your right hand rests on his heart and you can feel the steady beat pulsate underneath your touch. Looking up into Steve’s eyes you catch him smiling down at you.

“You and your daughter,” he whispers tenderly, “Are my girls. I will do whatever is necessary to keep my girls safe.”

“Steve…,” you begin but the soft press of his lips against your forehead silences you.

“I wasn’t finished,” he says gently. “What I’m trying to say is, we have a family here and you never let your family down. I don’t intend to go anywhere, Y/N. Whatever happens, I’ll stick by your side. Whatever decision you make, I’ll wholeheartedly accept it.” By now his voice is slightly breaking. “And I am so sorry for treating you the way I did. I was drunk and I was horny. I love you, Y/N. I love Casey, too. Will you please forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, my dear,” you sigh, your lips automatically drawn to his when his pleading eyes shine in perplexity at your words.

The kiss slowly comes to a start, hesitation reigning in both your hearts. Steve’s dirty blond tresses are so delicate underneath your fingertips, your hands weaving nonsense patterns into his hair as his mouth gives you open access. Now sliding entirely on top of Steve’s muscular body, he is able to pull you both upwards in one swift motion, tucking your legs around his thighs as you are able to straddle him now.

Your tongue skims his bottom lip, asking for permission to deepen this kiss. It’s then that Steve’s lips move away from yours and you search his eyes for the reason why. “I knew Peggy was wrong about you,” he murmurs into your ear, his teeth nibbling onto your earlobe, lips capturing it into his mouth.

Almost too far gone to properly register what Steve has just said, you swallow a hoarse moan spilling from your lips. One hand gripping his hair tightly, you pull him away from your neck where he is attempting to suck a dark bruise onto the fragile skin of your sweet spot. “Say that again?,” you demand adamantly, tugging at his blond locks so his eyes cannot escape yours.

“I knew Peggy was wrong about you. She was sure you were just a piece of ass to me, sure I would never come running back to you. Peggy was convinced you simply enjoyed taking my cock because no one else would pay any attention to you. But you don’t have to worry about Peggy, sweetheart,” he purrs modestly, brushing some stray curls from your eyes. “She’s dead. She can’t keep us apart anymore.”

“I know, Stevie, I know,” you release in a deep sigh. “Peggy is dead and I am about to fuck her widower. Strange how life works out in the end, isn’t it?” A small smirk appears which Steve takes as a sign to continue his worshipping.

I need a gangsta To love me better Than all the others do To always forgive me Ride or die with me That’s just what gangsters do

He resumes devoting his body to you, teeth tugging at your bottom lip and hands hiking up your night gown. You do not resist as he removes it from you or when his lips suckle on your nipple whilst the fingertips of his free hand pinch the other. You completely let go and throw you head back as his hands cup your sex, alerting you he’s ready for more.

Allowing him to take control, your hands trail down his chiselled abdomen to the hem of his t-shirt as you help him take it off. Sitting back on your calves, Steve is able to shimmy out of his boxer briefs, revealing his rock hard cock. He’s already dripping precum and you lower your head, tying your hair back with one hand so the other can play with his balls while you lick a broad strip from the base of his shaft to the very tip.

“Y/N, I need to be inside of you. N-N-No time for foreplay, hun.”

His voice is strained and you take it as a good sign. “Don’t be vanilla, Stevie” you coo as you hover over his crotch, lining yourself up with his beautifully thick shaft. “Do to me what you could never do with Peggy.”

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice. You can clearly observe the shift in demeanour as the light green specks drowning in his cerulean blue irises visibly light up. “Then get on all fours, baby,” he orders in a domineering tone. “Let your daddy fuck you hard.”

His dick pumps in and out of you at a bruising pace, his fingers digging into the cheeks of your ass as he holds them apart, allowing him a perfect view of his well-endowed manhood ruining your tight cunt. Trying your best to stifle your moans so Casey doesn’t hear what her mommy and Steve are up to this early in the morning, the pillows offers a most welcome distraction.

Steve’s teeth attack your shoulder as he lunges his torso onto your back, lips trailing down your spine in a low growl. He’s close and by the way your pussy is clenching his throbbing penis, you’re on the very brink of your orgasm as well. One hand leaves your soft bottom to play with your clit, his calloused fingertips relentlessly flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as you bite down hard on your bottom lip, almost drawing blood at the overstimulation of your senses.

Just as you’re about to cum hard on his cock, Steve yanks you by your (Y/H/C) swirls and pulls your back flush against his chest. His left hand remains locked in place on your hip, the other lacing around your throat, turning your head away from him so your neck is exposed to the mercy of his teeth. He soothes the mark immediately after but this moment of tenderness does not last long as the hand that was around your throat, dances lower towards your entrance.

Without much further ado, Steve adds two extra fingers, dipping into you with such force and ferocity the pleasure is overwhelming. He’s testing you, stretching you out to see how much you can take before plummeting into an abysmal state of bliss. Groaning into your ear, Steve whispers an “I love you” knowing it will most likely deliver you the release you have been milking out of him.

Slapping your behind harshly, Steve’s hand on your lower back pushes drives you into the mattress. “Turn around, Y/N. You’ve indulged me, so let me pleasure you now.”

Your arousal quickly gains the upper hand and you roll over onto your back, legs still widely spread and crooking a finger to call Steve over. Kinking an eyebrow in suggestion and seduction, you watch as his hands work his still half-hard cock before lining up at your entrance again. Since all three men you’ve ever laid down with are delectably large, you have no issue taking him in one go, your juices in the aftermath of your first orgasm serving as enough lubricant for the second go.

This time the sex is more intimate. It’s not making love, for that Steve’s too hard on you, but it’s a proper fucking you thoroughly enjoy. Your legs are hooked around his slim waist, one of his hands teasing your breast as the other drawing nonsense pattern underneath your jaw. When you kiss, you do not tangle your fingertips in his hair, rather opting to rake them down his sculpted back and leave a visible red mark.

My freakness is on the loose And running all over you Please, take me to places that nobody, nobody knows You got me hooked up on the feeling You got me hanging from the ceiling Got me up so high I’m barely breathing So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me go

“Go faster, Steve. Don’t hold back on me now,” you encourage breathlessly.

You want him to remember this night just as much as you wanted him to remember the night he forcefully took you without your immediate permission. You want him to commit to memory how good it feels to fuck your woman when you have her consent.

Gasping when he hits your g-spot, you’re about to see stars. “I can be an obedient girl. I can be everything you want me to be,” you heave out in bits and pieces, struggling to form a coherent sentence. Another moan is ripped from your throat as he knocks his pelvis against yours, grunting ferally in approval. ��I can be your wife, your mistress and your baby girl. I can even be your whore for fuck’s sake.”

“I don’t need a whore,” he pants into the crook of your neck. “I’m banging the fucking Brooklyn mob boss, why would I ever need a freaking whore.”

Crying out when another wave of cloud nine hits you, your coital haze blurs your line of vision so you can’t see his pearly whites scraping along your cheeks. Feeling his nose caress yours, you peck his lips in a chaste kiss, mainly because you’re unable to do anything else but focus on how he’s pounding into you still.

And then it hits you. “You bastard!,” you exhale loudly over the sound of both of you grunting and grinding in perfect synchronicity, your body remembering every ridge and every valley of Steve’s body. “You knew the whole time!”

He captures your lips in a bruising kiss, his hips jolting forward with a renewed power, laughing darkly at your indignation. Tearing your lips away from his, your fists connect with his firm chest, his thrust faltering just the slightest in anticipation of his orgasm. You continue to punch him but your determination is no match for his strength and he easily pins your hands above your head, a devious grin curling his lips upwards.

“Of course I did, darling,” he chuckles cunningly. Steve’s pupils are lust-blown, the deep black rims have completely absorbed the natural oceanic blue. He leans in closer, sharply snapping his hips and you cry out in ecstasy. “Peggy’s dead and you have me to thank for it.”

His head drops in between the valley of your breasts and you love the soft scratch of his day-old stubble more than you should at this point. Coming undone for the third time that night, Steve tumbles down into the rapture with you. Huffing heavily with the exertion, Steve’s weight settles into your body, the thick vein of his penis still pulsating inside of you.

“That was so good, baby. Please don’t be mad, I did it for us.”

“Get the fuck off me, Rogers,” you grit your teeth. He does as you command, moving over to his side of the bed again, his arm still resting on your bare stomach. The soothing tenor of his laugh is a mixture of recognition and endearment, the bile rising in your throat as your heart still skips a beat at the signature sound.

You sit upright in the bed, prying his arm away from you but Steve doesn’t give up so easily. Suddenly gripping your wrist, he prevents you from leaving the bed. “Y/N, for crying out loud, will you fucking listen to me?”

Snagging your hand away from him when his grasp on you wavers, you bundle the sheets around your exposed chest and turn your head to face him. “Then better start talking. I keep a gun between my stockings, so you are warned.”

“I’ll explain everything to you if you’ll just let me.” He holds his hands up in surrender and you nod in agreement.

Wiping the sweat away from his forehead, the bed dips slightly when he goes to the bathroom to retrieve a wet washing cloth for the both of you. “Here, let me help clean you up first.”

“There’s no way I’m letting you touch me, Steve,” you scowl hot-headedly. “You keep your filthy hands away from me. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

His eyebrows knit together in an ugly frown while he sets his right knee down on the edge of the bed, drawing his face closer to yours. “If you want to know the truth, you’ll let me take care of you.” It does not sound like a threat, but there is definitely a warning hidden away in the intimidating tenor to his husky voice.

Laying back on the bed with an annoyed glare, you pull your knees up so Steve can settle between them. His touch is caring and careful as he gingerly wipes away the excess arousal. “You know,” he says in a teasing tone when he finishes up, “It’s been a while since I’ve tasted you.”

“Oh fuck off,” you throw back at him, cocking your head so your eyes do not fall on his hands tending to his own member with a second washing cloth, throwing it in the bathroom sink on his way over to the bed.

“I love you, Y/N, don’t you for a second doubt that,” he starts off his soliloquy with a plea. “I never intended to keep this from you, but if you must know all my secrets, I am willing to tell you everything. I don’t want them to create a wedge between us. But you have to promise me that you won’t kill me.”

“I can’t promise you a thing,” you spit out. “You’re lucky I haven’t kicked you out yet. I don’t want a killer near my daughter.”

He releases a bouldering laugh. “You don’t want a killer near your daughter?” He shakes his head, a wicked grin adorning his darkened features. “Oh doll, you have no idea, do you? You have no idea what kind of man I am, what kind of man you love.”

Part 9: the killers

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