#Now yall better put your fuckin money where your mouth is.

[cultofthepigeon]

Again just in case any of yall weren't aware.

[smellyfootboy]

SMELLY ENCOUNTERS WITH ETHAN PT. 4: A Grand Finale.

It had been about 4 days after I started staying with Ethan at his house while my floors were getting done in my own house. Each night, Ethan has used my mouth as his own personal masturbation toy at least twice a day. Which I certainly did not mind, but I think I’ve eaten more of his cum than I have real food. We did not sleep together in the same bed… He would make me sleep on the couch. Honestly I kind of loved this friendship the way we had it going. What shocked me though, is that he hasn’t made me smell his feet or do anything foot related for a few days. Just yesterday I checked his laundry bin and couldn’t see any used socks, which brought me to the conclusion that after the last time he did laundry, and must have been wearing the same socks since… and he was probably waiting for the perfect stink to “torture” me with… and he had to be on at least day 4 or 5 by now. The dirtiest I’ve ever smelled his socks was my very first foot encounter with him. He had worn them for 4 days back then and basically made me put them in my mouth. That was about 7 months ago.

Ethan came into the living room while I was playing on my phone sitting on his couch.

“Hey man- I’m going to have a couple of the guys come over tonight for some beer pong. You down?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, sounds good to me… anyone I know?” I asked.

“Joe from my college that you met before and my brother, Riley.” Ethan said. Joe was a quiet, skinnier guy, but really cute, and Riley I had not met.

Later that night, after Ethan came back with beer and snacks, I helped him put up the pong table, which we placed next to his dining room table. We set up all the snacks and cups.

Joe was the first to show up. He wore a white button up shirt, jeans, and white adidas shoes. We talked for a little while before Riley showed up. I was shocked to see how much he looked like Ethan. He wasn’t as built, but they definitely could almost be twins. Riley was wearing a black t shirt, black shorts, black crew socks, and a very similar pair of converse as Ethan was wearing. He looked about the same age as Ethan as well. Maybe a little younger, mid 20’s possibly.

We made some drinks, talked about our jobs, and got a little buzz before we started on the pong. Ethan and Riley were on one side and me and Joe were on the other. I was pretty terrible at beer pong so I hoped Joe was a little better than me.

We started the game.

“Hold up… we should make this more interesting. Make some bets and shit.” Riley said. Oh God, here we go, I thought.

“What like money? I don’t have any cash on me.” Joe said. I saw Ethan’s eyes light up. I knew what was coming.

“Losing team has to sniff the winning team’s feet for 2 minutes.” Ethan said proudly.

Joe made a grossed out face. Riley kind of laughed.

“Bitch- I grew up with you, I know how rank your feet are… do you still wear the same socks for multiple days.” Riley asked.

“Depends…. I think these bad boys are on day 4.” Ethan said. I wasn’t going to bring up that I’m pretty sure they were day 5.

“Dude, I’ll throw up.” Joe said.

“Then… don’t lose…” Ethan laughed.

“Whatever… man- I went running today so I might be pretty ripe myself.” Riley said. We all continued to play. I may have purposely missed the cup a few times and Joe was not very good. So things we looking pretty grim for us.

“My feet feel really hot and sweaty, how about you bro?” Riley said to Ethan jokingly as Joe missed another shot.

“Fuck man, I can smell both of our feet through the shoes.” Ethan said back.

“Oh God…” Joe said.

We only had one cup left. Riley was taking the shot.

“You think I’ll make it?” Riley asked

“No way…” I said

“If he makes it, yall gotta add some tongue to our feet…” Ethan added.

“And if he doesn’t, we skip all the foot crap.” Joe said nervously.

“Deal.” Riley said.

It seemed like time went in slow motion for that shot. And sure enough… he made it in the cup.

Riley and Ethan high fived each other. Me and Joe looked at each other and he kind of shook his head.

Ethan walked over to the dining room table and kicked his feet up.

“Joey, get over here and take my shoes off.” Ethan said. Joe sighed and walked over and sat across from Ethan.

“Just two minutes right? Someone time it please.” Joe said sadly.

Riley nodded and we both just watched what was unfolding. I’m sure it was my turn next.

Joe pulled off Ethan’s shoes one by one. The smell hit the air so fast. Ethan was wearing black socks with white heel and toe. I actually felt bad for Joe… He had no tolerance to Ethan’s feet.

“Oh man… it’s so bad.” Joe said as his eyes began to water. Riley was laughing pretty hard.

“Come on, nose in the foot.” Ethan said.

“Dude why… I could smell this even if I was standing across the house!” Joe said.

“Joe don’t be a bitch!” Riley yelled to him. Joe shook his head again before burying his face in Ethan’s socked foot.

Ethan used his toes to pull off his sock on one foot, and then the other.

“Tongue…” Ethan said as he wiggled his pudgy toes. Joe hesitantly stuck his tongue out. Ethan slid his toes across Joe’s tongue. Joe gagged.

“How’s that taste Joe!” Ethan yelled.

“Ok… that’s enough.” Joe said as he stood up.

“Yeah that’s good… you were sniffing for about 4 minutes.” Riley laughed.

“Are you fucking kidding me man.” Joe said. He ran to the bathroom and we could hear him spitting and rinsing his mouth out.

“Alright buddy- your turn” Riley said as a looked to me. He went and sat in the corner and pulled off his converse. I followed him over there.

“Lay on your stomach.” Riley said. I did what he asked trying not to come off so willing. His black socks were kind of shiny and almost looked greasy. He stuck his feet side by side on my nose. His stink was definitely not as strong as Ethan’s where it would fill the room, but I could 100% tell he went running that day, his odor was almost cheesier than Ethan’s. He kind of cupped them around my nose. I was getting an erection, taking in Riley’s stink, I’m glad I was laying on my stomach so no one could tell. Ethan was watching from across the room, smiling. Riley took his sock off.

“This is what happens to bitches that lose. How’s that fuckin smell man?” Riley said, only turning me on even more.

“It smells like a greasy cheese…” I said muffled by his foot.

“Cheese? Good, maybe you’d like a taste then… tongue out.” Riley demanded. I slid my tongue across the bottom of his toes. They taste just like they smelled.

“How’s my foot taste? Ethan I think he likes this…” Riley said laughing. Ethan walked over and placed his rank foot on top of my head, pressing my nose and mouth even harder into Rileys foot.

“He’s just used to it, I make him worship my feet sometimes.” Ethan said. Riley laughed. I was slightly embarrassed but I felt almost hypnotized at the scent of Riley and Ethan’s feet mixed together.

A few more moments passed and Riley stood up and Ethan took his foot off my head. Joe finally came back in the room.

“Alright guys, I gotta work early… Thanks for a gross night.” Joe said, still looking a bit ill from licking Ethan’s foot.

We said goodbye and Joe left. Shortly after Riley took off as well. It was just me and Ethan on the couch.

“What a night…” I said. I could still smell Ethan and Riley’s foot stink on my face.

“Yeah it was…” Ethan said. He reached his hand down and started feeling his bulge in his pants.

“Hey, take your pants off. I wanna try something.” Ethan said. I stood up and took my shoes off and my pants.

“Now face the other direction.” Ethan said. I turned around. I could feel Ethan start to touch my butt. We had never done any butt stuff before, so this was new. He pulled my underwear down and put his finger in his mouth. Then into my shaved hole. It hurt a little at first and I was a little tense. It slowly started to feel very nice. He then switched to two fingers and I moaned.

“Fuck boy, you are so tight.” Ethan said as he thrust his fingers in and out.

Suddenly to both of our surprises, Riley popped out of the corner.

“Guys, I don’t think I can drive yet… that beer…” Riley started before he noticed what was going on. He kind of stood there in awe for a few moments. Ethan and I didn’t say anything. We just looked at him, his fingers half way up my hole.

“Uhhh. Some kind of bet I didn’t know about?” Riley said, confused. I noticed he was starting to get hard as the crotch of his shorts started to rise.

“Just a condition of him staying with me… I get to use him as my cum rag…” Ethan said with confidence.

“Huh…” Riley said, still taking in what he was seeing. Riley started to inch closer and ended up sitting next to Ethan. I was shocked to feel that Ethan continued to finger me. I could see Riley out of the corner of my eye on the couch. He had pulled out his cock and was stroking it while watching Ethan finger me!

“I aint gay. But hey, a hole is a hole right? And this boys got a whole other one not in use.” Riley said. He stood up and came around to me. He pulled my head down so his dick was right in my face. He was cut unlike Ethan. He was a bit hairier too.

“Lick my balls.” He said. What was it with this family and always wanted their balls licked first? Not that I minded. I started licking his smelly musty hairy balls. The texture of the hair on his nuts was something I wasn’t used to but I totally got into it. I could feel Ethan push me forward a little and bend me down a bit more. I heard him spit into his hand. It was finally happening. I felt Ethan’s cock start to go into me. It was easier since he used his fingers first. After he got the head in, I felt him slam the rest in behind it. I moaned in pleasure. He felt so good. Meanwhile, I started sucking Riley.

“Yeah suck my fat sweaty fucking dick, bitch.” Riley said, incredibly drunk. He was a lot bigger and thicker than Ethan in that department. Every time Riley tried to push in down my throat I would choke. I could see Riley and Ethan fistbump each other as they destroyed me. Ethan was banging me so hard that I could feel his huge nuts slapping my ass.

“Yeah boy, take my cock.” Ethan demanded. Riley grabbed my head and shoved his cock down my throat all the way to his nuts. My eyes watered .

“I’m gonna paint your fucking face…” Riley said. He abruptly pulled his dick out and jerked it aggressively and blew his load all over my face. I could feel it all dripping down my lips and chin.

"Fuck bitch. You like my hot nut dripping off your face don't ya" he said as he reached down and used his thumb to move a big blob of his cum into my mouth. I cleaned his thumb off. Riley backed up a little bit. Ethan suddenly pushed me down to the ground face first and planted his stinky foot on my face so that his toes were right over my nose. Im not sure how he had it readily available but he shoved one of his disgusting black and white socks from earlier into my mouth. Riley took his shoe and sock off and put his foot on my head next to Ethans. Ethan was still inside of me and banging me while they had me pinned with their feet. He started to go harder and harder. My hole was so sore. But it felt so good.

“Fuck boy… You like that dick wrecking your tight fuckin pussy.” Ethan said as he just kept going harder and faster.

“You gonna take my load while you taste that nasty sock and smell our feet? ” Ethan said.

“Fuck yeah…” I said.

“He loves the cock, taking both our loads…” Riley said.

I suddenly felt Ethan empty himself inside of me. He was out of breath and covered in sweat. He took his foot, now covered with his brothers cum from my face, off my head.

“Now clean my foot off.” Ethan said. I began to lick the cum off his foot, making sure to get it all.

“Damn Ethan, I need a house slut like that.” Riley laughed.

As Ethan’s hot load leaked out of my hole, and I continued cleaning his brothers cum off of his stinky foot, I couldn’t think of anything else I would rather do.

“Yeah… I think he should move in permanently.” Ethan said.

[terushimas-n1-hater]

Airport fun

How i think flying with sugawara would be like

Character(s): sugawara koushi

Genre: fluff, mabye crack

Warnings: I guess flying on a plane 😐

An: as a person who travels almost every year, I thought this is a fun idea of like how travelling with suga is like :) this is pretty long so uh yeah

Masterlist.🏐

@. ALL CREDITS GOES TO SHOTOSIMP2, DO NOT REPOST ONLY LIKE, AND/OR REBLOG THANK YOU.

• Lets get into itt!!

• lets say that this flight would be in the early morning

• okay I know sugawara would wake you up at like a reasonable time like 3-4 hours before the flight

• like that you both have time to take a shower, eat breakfast pretty quickly then go

• also sugawara would NOT let you pack your stuff at the day of the flight

• like it has to be one or two days before the flight

• he does that to prevent getting late and to have time for yourselves

• if you're like me and you just cant for the love of god sit in one place and pack all your shit

• he's here!! He would help you and mabye even tell you to do something else while he does it for you 😫

• after he's done with you're bag he would ask you if he did anything wrong since there is shows/makeup just general stuff that might ruin clothes

• I also feel like he would watch those "BEST packing tips and hacks 2020"

• if you do use makeup and you put it in same bag as your clothes he would put like?? Plastic thing on top of the clothes and then put the makeup on top so if it spills it doesn't ruin ur clothes.

• its the next morning sugawara already set a bath for your cute ass tehe. Also made breakfast LIKE?? BRO STOP BEING SO HOT ☹

• OKAY so everything is done ur both ready its time to go

• he's the type to go to the airport with his car and park it there and when he comes back he comes back home using hes car that he parked there, so you're both in the car listening to music opened windows and holding hands plz yall cute asf

• OKAY BUT YOU CANT TELL ME SUGA ISNT THE TYPE TO PUT HIS HAND ON YOUR THIGH WHEN DRIVING

• okay here is the fun part

• you and suga arrive ant the airport and you took your bags out of the car and put on the bag holder thing that you move around IDK WHAT ITS NAME OKAY BARE WITH ME

• you go inside this is the 4 time suga had told you to check the passport and the tickets lmao

• when you're both done with all of the passport situation thing and your now both empty handed and all you have to do is wait for the plane

• there is a tiny problem tho

• the plane is going to arrive IN TWO HOURS

• and you both have separated seats on the fucking plane

• suga was kinda freaking out because wtf what if you sit next to some creepy dude?!? Like he knows you can fight and all but he just cant bare the thought

• you calmed him down telling him that its okay and we could tell someone when we DO get on the plane

• because you're main concern is not about if u two sit next to each other or not, its THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT 2 HOURS TO ACTUALLY GO ON THE PLANE

• You both sit there for a sec and just start to giggle a bit lmao

• okay okay

• You and suga start to go around in these like stores in the airport yk?

• And yall just look at the all the candy and that is so expensive for no fucking reason

• Sugawara is literally laughing at you because you stood there for 10 minutes on and off about how the only chocolate the sell is so expensive

• "😠"

• "💀✋"

• He told if you want it that bad he wouldn't mind buying the box of chocolate for you, And he did

• for "fun" in his words

• And the chocolate tasted like fucking SHIT

• ITS SO BAD DOES NOT HAVE ANY SUGAR ITA JUST CHOCOLATE AND LIKE BARELY ANY SUGAR BRO. DRY NOT EVEN SWEET AND KINDA SALTY LMAOO HELP

• rich people chocolate basically

• AND HE'S JUST LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF HE CANT KEEP IT IN ANYMORE

• You both didn't know what to do with this hella expensive chocolate box. Like none of you liked it that would be a waste of money

• And sugawara thought it would be better if we give it to A STRANGER on the airport

• Just like that 😕

• He took the box and went to someone that was sitting in a cafe and said hey heres this its a gift. He hands the man a box of fucking chocolate that doesn't even taste like chocolate

• LAMOOO THE MAN THOUGHT IT WAS GOIMG TO KILL HIM BECAUSE IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE A CHOCOLATE ITS 4:39 IM LINGFIELD SO HARD AT THIS I CANT

• so ya!! You and suga go around more lil candy stores and got like gummy bears and lollipops bc y not

• SO MANY PEOPLE LOOKED AT YALL LIKE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN GROWN UPS EAT CANDY AND HOLD HANDS EVERRR ITS SO FUNNY

• for my fem readers and anyone with boobies and or ass

• um 😐

• LMAOO when yall were buying candy this dude was trying to hit on u okay AND HE THOUGHT..THAT YOU BUYING CANDY WAS FOR YOUR?? KID?? (There was a kid next to u guys so he thought it was yours)

• SO THAT DUDE CAME UP TO YOU SAYING "ayooo didnt know we have nice milfs in our area..aha 😩" "MILF?" And the problem is sugawara was no fuckin help HE WAS LAUGHING 🤥

• they guy got embarrassed and LEFT AGAGHAHAHA

• okay done for this part

• but yeah you guys eat the candy he also got smothies too!!

• when you were both done you checked the time to see that you both have 50 minutes until the your plane arrives

• and suga thought it would be better to head to the waiting room since less people would be there

• you both were sitting on the chairs where the big windows are in front of them, you could see bags getting transferred and planes.

• you rested you head on sugawaras shoulder, pulling out your phone and headphones giving sugawara the left and you got the right

• you two were sitting looking at the view while listening to 505 (arctic monkeys) sugawara put his right hand around your waist pulling you closer to him

• you could her the whispers and 'aww's from old granny's that were sitting on the other side

• sugawara was rubbing his hand on your waist, he still hasn't realised that you fell asleep.

• when he did, he smiled to himself he moved to kiss the crown of your head until he woke you up by accident

• he told you everything is fine and that you should go back to sleep. he gently pushed you so your head could reach his thighs, before you did you looked around still not alot of people are around so you felt more comfortable

• you rested your head on his lap he starts to smile and play with your head making you fall asleep again.

• you were woken up by sugawaras gentle voice telling you that its time to wake up. You looked around there were more people in the waiting room than before you slept, you looked at sugawara he was smiling at you

• when you got yourself together again you asked suga when its time to get going he said after 10 minutes. You looked in your bag making sure everything is there

• when you closed your bag again you moved around to see sugawara smiling softly while staring at you "your so cute"

• sugawara was talking to the flight attendants asking them if they can change the seats, where they accepted and helped you two get in your shared seats (yes its that easy sometimes)

• God he looks so cute sleeping on your lap like that, his eyes shut with his mouth just open a bit.

• you're playing with his hair, while watching the movie on the mini TV infront of you

• there were a group of girls that sat next to you, and every now and then they would glance at the two of you- actually they were looking at suga

• even one of them wanted to make a conversation with him earlier, but you ignored it all

• although you knew that sugawara koushi, your husband wouldn't hurt your feelings like that

• because the moment he saw the discomfort of your face he immediately tried to end the flirty conversation.

• plus none of the girls were even his type LMAOAOA

[hockeybabestars]

New Year, Same Us - Auston Matthews - Eight

a/n: im going out of town for a football game/visiting friends this weekend and i’m not bringing my computer so i thought i would post this early for yall!! thank you to every person who has been keeping up with this story and liking or reblogging! you mean so much to me! i hope yall enjoy the longest chapter of new year same us, to make up for the shortest in chapter seven (yikes!) we’re almost through with this story yall! we have a lil flashback in this chapter! (in italics) and finally have the prompt that started it all! (in bold)

September 18, 2018

Austons P.O.V

“Aus?!” She yelled from her room. “Are you almost ready?” 

I had been ready for 20 minutes and was sitting on our couch waiting for her to finish up. “Yeah I’m ready now!” I rolled up my sleeve to get a better look at my watch, “are you almost ready? It would look really bad if my plus one made us late.” I snicker as I heard her heels clack, the light to the hallway going off simultaneously.

 I got up from the sofa as she entered, and boy, was I going to have to keep an eye on her tonight. She looked stunning. The light pink dress cinched her curves in all the right places, and her hair was in waves. She was like something out of a dream. She didn’t bat an eye as she went to the kitchen looking for the keys. I came up behind her and dangled them in her face, and before she could snatch them I pulled them away. She reached for them again but I held them behind my head, and suddenly she was all too close to my face. I glanced down at her lips, wanting to kiss them badly but then I quickly diverted back up to her eyes. “You look stunning (Y/N).”

I could feel her breath hitch against my own lips and the minty flavor of her gum hit my nose before she smiled genuinely, her signature smile where her lips tilted a little crooked at the corners, and it made my heart flutter. “Thanks Aus, you don’t look too bad yourself.” 

She stepped away and we did a once over of our apartment, making sure we didn’t forget anything. I grinned and opened our front door for her, watching her walk as she went. I locked the door and we went down the hall towards the elevator, “just out of curiosity,” she toyed with a strand of her hair, eyes flicking up to me through long lashes, “how much did your suit cost?” She was smirking at me and I couldn’t resist really. “Wanna bet on it?” The elevator dinged for us to get on and she rolled her eyes, “do I even have a choice?”

“No use fighting at this point babydoll.” I flashed her my signature smirk as the floor indicator ticked down.

“Does that really work on girls?” She played.

“Apparently not on you.” I laughed but deep down I kinda hoped it did.

“It’s because I know you better than you know you.” She stated matter of factly. She did though. That was the scary part. We hit the first level and strolled out, before she added thoughtfully, “did you want it to work on me?”

I felt my cheeks flame, and was thankful she was walking slightly ahead of me, “uhh,” I faltered before gaining my confidence back, “depends on if you wanted it too.” 

She stopped for a split second, giving me a chance to catch up before she continued walking, this time leaning into me a little bit, “maybe.”

My heart jumped at that, “Still wanna make that bet?” I opened the car door for her. She thanked me and I hopped in the drivers side.

“Am I betting high or low.” She gave me side eye as she buckled her seat belt and we were off.

“What do you think?” I grinned. There’s no way she gets this. “Do you know your suits? What brand am I even wearing?” I smiled. 

I could feel her eyes on me as mine were on the road, and she reached over and ran her finger down the lapel of it, feeling the fabric. I tried to concentrate on the road but she was leaned over the console examining the details of my suit, looking for anything that would give away the designer or price. I needed to think fast, I could tell this would be a long night already and it hadn’t really even begun. 

I swatted her hand away, “hey stop it! that’s cheating.” I smiled and looked over at her as we hit a light. She placed her palm flat against my chest as she mocked me, pulling her lower lip into a pout. I could feel my heartbeat pick up and surely she could too.

 “Just seeing what I have to work with Aus.” The nickname melted off her tongue like butter and really I only like it when she says it anyway. The light flashed green and I grabbed her hand off my chest, entwining our fingers together and resting them over the middle console. “I’m betting high, what like $7,000? Is that too much for a suit? What is it Gucci? Aren’t you like their poster boy or something?” 

I laughed at her accusations and she squeezed my hand a little too hard. “Ow! Jeez woman that hurt. Those are my money makers!” 

She swatted at me again, “sorry not sorry. Isn’t like half your closet Gucci or something. I feel like I should know this but I’m really drawing a blank here.”

A smile crept up onto my face. She’s cute when she’s thinking too hard. She always over thinks or over-analyzes everything. It’s like it’s written in her DNA or something.

She looked over at me and I attempted to keep a straight face, “it’s Gucci isn’t it.” I nodded. “$7000 close?”

I kept a tight lip. She turned towards me, “it’s fuckin higher isn’t it!!!” Her voice raised towards the end and I burst out laughing. 

“$10,000.” Her jaw dropped, “what do I get since you couldn’t guess it?”

“I can’t believe you spent $10,000 on a suit.” She was in awe, “that’s like a trip to Europe, or a down payment on a car, what are you psycho?”

“Are you really belittling me right now?” I chuckled, “you guessed $7,000 that’s just as high!!!” 

“Yeah but-“

“But what? $7000 okay to drop but $10 is too much?” Her face went blank as she tried to process it and I howled as her eyebrows knit together. She was something else.

“I hate you.” She fought to keep the smile off her face.

“Your mouth says otherwise.” She covered her lips with her hands as we pulled up to the venue, she finally pulled them off as we valeted the car. And as we walked into the rustic barn I elbowed her a bit, grinning wildly, “seriously though, what’s my prize since you didn’t guess right?” 

She linked our arms as we tried to figure out where we were sitting and smirked at me, “Bragging rights.”

“I bet we could make it a little more interesting.”

“Oh of course you bet huh.”

“You owe me a dance.”

She pouted. “Aus-“ 

“Nuh-Uh. We’re dancing later, it’s the least you can do.”

I can tell she wanted to press me further but instead she just nodded, “Okay.”

“Wow, I didn’t think that would be this easy. I need to win bets more often.” I knew how much she hated dancing. It was because she had two left feet and literally tripped over herself on any normal day. She didn’t like to embarrass herself. The truth was, she wasn’t a bad dancer at all. She could dance fine by herself, especially after a drink or two. But she was clumsy enough that partner dancing wasn’t really her thing. I always try to get her to at weddings and events but she doesn’t budge. She's stubborn as hell, but it’s why I love her. She doesn’t change for anyone. Not even me. I always ended up finding some random bridesmaid to dance with at these things, but tonight she was mine. 

We wandered further into the barn stopping for a few pictures together before the ceremony as Paige snapped away on her phone and a film camera as well. Mitch and Steph found their way to us too and soon enough we had group pictures with the six of us, then guys, girls, and finally as we finished up it was about time to find our seats. 

The Tavares wedding was really going to be something. Greenery was everywhere and there was a modern feel to their set up even with the more natural elements. I put a hand on (Y/N)’s lower back and guided her to our seats on the grooms side. We were in the middle back and slid into the refurbished white bench with ease, the rest of our group following suit, filing into the row after us. I wrapped an arm around the back of (Y/N)’s seat as she crossed her ankles, leaning into me while we waited for the ceremony to start. A comfortable silence settled over us and somehow both our free hands found each other on their own accord. Soon enough she was playing with my fingers, clasping and unclasping them, tracing the outline of my hand and holding our palms up to watch our hands align. It was something we had done plenty of times before. Whenever we got bored or were watching Netflix or at family events. It was inevitable that our hands would meet. Her hand was a lot smaller than mine, and we quietly played a game of thumb wars before the loud chattering settled down. I could hear the preacher say to rise, so I gently grabbed her hand in mine and lead her up. She was still leaning into me as we waited for the bride to make her way down the aisle. 

John and Aryne chose to say their own vows although short and sweet. It was nice. Being here, celebrating them. (Y/N) was the perfect wedding date. She was classy and reserved when needed but could definitely open up and make conversation with anyone who approached her. And soooo many people approached her. Which was crazy because she was the plus one. But that’s just (Y/N), stealing everyone’s heart the way she stole mine. 

It had to be obvious at this point. I thought my incessant flirting and annoying her every chance I got would be enough to give her the hint, but apparently not. I thought that living together was another sign that maybe I was kind of into her but she just took it at face value since it was the most logical option. I think I really realized how I've felt this past May. I mean, it was there all along, but I didn’t admit it to myself until then. She started hooking up with some random guy at college, and when I walked into some kid in our apartment it made my stomach lurch. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that sick in my life.

I had talked to her earlier in the day. We were on a long road trip in the west and I was excited to get back and see her. 

It felt like maybe things had been changing between us lately, and I wanted to get back and test the waters a little just to see if she even felt a tiny bit the same. It was easy with her. I missed her like crazy, constantly texting to see what she was up to, and sending snapchat updates of what the boys and I were doing, just because I knew she would send a picture back and I could see that gorgeous face again. 

Our flight was delayed because weather in Toronto was pretty bad.  And we didn’t end up landing till pretty late. I texted her when we landed at 12 that I would be home soon. I never got a response so I figured she was asleep. 

What I didn’t expect, when I came home at 1am on a Saturday, was some random guy going through the cupboards in our kitchen with just his boxers on. 

“Uh who are you?” I had a sour taste in my mouth.

The guy looked up from his position on the floor, going through the bottom cabinets and I swear almost shit himself. “Oh my god you’re Auston Matthews.” I frowned. Oh jeez a hockey fan, how rare in this city! He shook his head in disbelief and stood up, walking over to me and put his hand out for me to shake. I took it, begrudgingly. “I’m Reese, it’s really nice to meet you, although I never thought it would be like this.”

I scoffed, but he didn’t seem to notice. He found (Y/N)’s post it notes on the kitchen island and pulled one off handing it to me, “do you think you could sign this for me?”

“What the hell is going on here? Reese I thought-” (Y/N) ‘s voice sounded a little groggy, like she might’ve been sleeping, but when she came out of her room, only clad in black lace underwear and a t-shirt I presumed to be his, my breath caught in my throat. One because she looked damn good. And two because she was wearing his clothes and practically nothing else. I felt a fire in my chest. I swallowed hard and tried to remain neutral. 

When she finally realized I was home her eyes went wide. “Oh, uh, hey Aus.”

“(Y/N) you didn’t tell me your roommate was the Auston Matthews.” This guy was still here?

She uncomfortably glanced over at me. Yeah me too. “Uh roommate? Try best friend.” I said smugly.

“I didn't see a reason to bring it up.” She said. Ouch that hurt.

“Sorry Reese bro, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, I really need to get to bed and I’m sure your friend (Y/N) here can fill you in on all the dirty details later. Have a great night.” I walked past them and into my room, shutting the door. Trying to get ready for bed without my head exploding from everything that just happened. I waited until I could hear him leave before I went and knocked on her door.

“What Matthews?” I opened it slightly and peered in, leaning on the door frame and watching her fix her bedding a bit, now in another old t-shirt. 

“Matthews huh? Can I come in?” She nodded and crawled under the white comforter patting the spot next to her. I sat down on top of it before rethinking this whole situation. “Actually can we go to my room?” I wasn’t really comfortable that they just fucked in here and wasn’t too keen on sitting in the bed that someone else got to touch her in. 

She nodded and as I grabbed her hand, I felt tingles. I didn’t dare to look behind me as I lead her to my room. We crawled under the covers and sat against the headboard.

 We stared up at the ceiling a bit before she turned to me. “You’re so dramatic.” 

I looked over to her and I could tell she was slightly upset. “But I know that’s not exactly the most fun thing to come home to and I’m sorry.”

“S’okay. Were you ever gonna tell me you were kinda seeing someone?” My jealousy got the best of me, and I couldn’t help but let it seep into my voice a little as I ask.

“No not really, you never tell me when you do...So.” She shrugged, and I tilted my head back a little, groaning.

“You don’t tell people we’re friends either?” It sucked knowing that maybe she was ashamed of me for whatever reason. I always told everyone about her. I loved to talk about her and how proud I am of her for working hard in college and her internship which she officially secured, and just being the amazing, kind hearted person that she is.

“It’s different… I- I don’t tell strangers or people I just met or at least until I have a grasp on their personality. I stopped doing that a long time ago. I can never tell if they want to be friends with me, or have a relationship with me, for me or to get to you.” 

“Oh.” It sucks, but it makes sense.

“Oh. Is right. Also I don’t want people to be up either of our asses if they're just clout chasers.” She smiled, shaking her head as I laughed, “Just not how I want to spend my time.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kick him out, that was just weird and I wasn’t expecting you to have company and-“

“Auston. It’s okay. I should’ve warned you in some way, or gone to his place. Maybe this whole thing could’ve been prevented. I’m the one who’s sorry. That situation was pretty awkward.” I don’t want her at some guys place. I want her with me.

I grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. My stomach churning as I did so, “Stop worrying. Don’t be sorry either. We good?” She nodded and entwined our pinky’s. “Always.” And with that she slipped out of the darkness of my room and back down the hallway to hers. And my heart ached with every step.

Maybe I wasn’t doing enough, maybe I just needed to be upfront. 

I took a swig of the beer I was drinking and set it back on the table as I watched her converse with Steph, Paige, and Aryne, Probably complementing the bride on her gown and the allure of the wedding.

Pretty soon we were eating steak, mashed potatoes and wedding cake, and my stomach was all too full when the bride and groom shared their first dance. I looked to (Y/N) to see her swooning at John and Aryne adoringly. She was facing the back of her chair, hands resting on the back of it, and chin resting on her hands. “Don’t you just love those two together?” Her nose crinkled. It was really cute.

I stood and held my hand out to her as other couples started to join in on the dance floor. She looked up to me, eyes slightly glazed from her glasses of champagne, but I knew she was at a good level. Sober enough to make good decisions, buzzed enough to have a good time. “Are you gonna dance with me?” My heart felt like it was racing as I waited for her answer.

She took my hand so I took it as a yes. I lead her out to the dance floor, Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran coming on as we stopped in the middle. She wrapped her arms around my neck and my hands settled on her waist, pulling her close. My stomach churned with nerves and a little bit of excitement. I looked down at her, her head on a swivel, looking everywhere but me. Other people are looking at us and her brow knit in confusion. Her hand was burning a hole where it was placed flat against my chest. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” I touched her forehead lightly, then bringing my hand back down and wrapping it around her waist securely.

She looked back to me, eyes widening, “It’s nothing.”

“You know you can tell me anything right?” I tried, pulling her back into me as she slowly tried to pull herself away. “That’s what friends are for. And hey, quit trying to leave me!” I laugh, grinning. “Were kind of in the middle of that dance you owe me.”

She smiles back softly but glances around the room again, this time almost self consciously. “It’s just that… I don’t know- I don’t really know how to say it without sounding weird.”

“Are you okay? Is something wrong? You know nothing you say will ever sound weird to me? I’m pretty sure we’ve been through it all.” I leaned my forehead against hers and try to ease her mind but she seems so off. I don’t know what happened because everything seemed normal when we first got here.

She took a breath and pulled back a little looking right at me, “Everyone thinks we’re a couple.” I could see the nerves riddling her features and it made me curious as to why. It’s not what I was expecting, but it made me grin, “I know.” 

“You know? It doesn’t bother you?” Her nose scrunched again.

“Should it? Does it bother you? I mean, personally I think I could do worse as far as fake lovers go, but…” She playfully shoved me and we fell right back into place, swaying as the song went on melodically.

“It really doesn’t bother you?” She seemed unsure, but avoided my question nonetheless, looking up at me as if the only answer I could give would be yes. That it does bother me. And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I shrugged trying to play it cool, “why would it bother me?”

 “I don’t know…” She looked away, back to the surrounding crowd as the song changed. “You’re Auston Matthews.” She huffed. “You can get any girl you want. Wouldn’t people believing that… we’re an item… wouldn’t that get in the way?”

I grabbed her hands in mine, looking down at them. She instinctively clasped them together and my heart warmed as I glanced back up at her. “That’s just the thing.” We had stopped dancing at this point, and I’m pretty sure we were in the way of people trying to dance, but I didn’t mind. “You don’t see me as the Auston Matthews. You never did. You just see me as Auston Matthews, your extremely good looking and talented best friend.” I smirked.

“Way to ruin it.” She laughed.

I gently pulled her closer, “you see me as the dumb kid who broke his arm at your eighth birthday party, and the horrible friend who spilled punch on your prom dress, and the annoying son of bitch who always tries to force you to dance. You never see me as someone who’s untouchable,” I grab her hand and place it over my heart, “you always touch me.” She looked as if she lost her breath, eyes swirling with emotions. She carefully removed the hand that was over my heart and stood still for a second. She looked back up to me meticulously, “let’s get some air yeah?” I let my hand rest on the small of her back and nodded as she lead the way out, one step ahead of me. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I couldn’t be more grateful for the little piece of privacy that we had out here. The air had turned slightly cooler, and I could see her shiver a little, although she would never admit she’s cold. I shrugged my suit jacket off anyway as we walked along the outside of the barn. The sun was starting to go down and the chill in the air picked up. I wrapped my jacket around her shoulders, and used it to pull her in closer to me. 

She muttered a thanks and I sucked in a breath. Now or never Matt’s.

But she turned to me sharply, beating me to the punch, “you can’t just say stuff like that you know?” 

“Why not?” Her eyes met mine and the wary look on her face told me what I needed to know. I know what she’s thinking. And she means more to me than anyone. She must know that. She has too.

“You could never get in the way of anything (Y/N).” I tucked a lone strand of hair behind her ear as her eyes sparkled and flickered up to mine. “It doesn’t bother me because I don’t want just any girl.” I toe around the subject, hoping she can figure it out before I have to say it outright.

“Well, what do you want Aus?” I want you. Don’t make me say it. Don’t make me ruin a good thing (Y/N). I don’t want to lose us.

My eyes flicker down to her lips. I close my eyes and lean in a little, nudging her nose with my own. Slowly but surely closing the gap between us. I could feel the electricity radiating off her, our lips barely touching before I heard a voice coming from the door. We broke apart, wide eyed, hearts racing, both looking to see who joined us outside.

Kappy looked drunk. And Paige looked like she was dying from laughter. They spotted us and made their way over. I looked back at (Y/N), her cheeks flushed and managing to look anywhere but me, although my arm was still wrapped around her. She leaned into my touch as they approached.

“Youuuuu guyssss.” Kap slurred and Paige just seemed to notice the position we were in.

“Uh Kappy needed some air, but I see you guys did too.” She grabbed his hand and tried to lean him into her for leverage. “We’ll just let you guys have some privacy.”

(Y/N) turned her face into my shoulder as Paige tried to shove Kappy back into the reception. I looked down to her and laughed. She did too, bringing her face out of my shoulder. I would’ve tried to recreate the moment but it seemed like it was lost as she grabbed my hand and tugged me back inside. “C’mon Aus, we should get back.” And I had no choice but to follow.

[thatssonanii]

Just the Two of Us (12)

HAHN AU

After lunch Melissa rode with Benny and Lainey since Marcie was headed back to Maxine. Despite her telling them they didn't have to, the siblings walked her up to her apartment and stepped inside.

"Your place is very," Lainey paused looking around, "Put together."

Melissa snorted plopping down on the sofa, "Wasn't any of my doing. It was his mom."

Before they could go any further, Jeffrey slid his feet into the main area of the apartment with a scowl on his face. He walked over to toss a card to her and turned back around not caring that it fell on the floor. Melissa started to pick it up but Benny got to it first.

"Aye, don't throw shit at no woman. Fuck is wrong witchu?"

Lainey politely stepped out of her brother's way going to sit beside her friend. Jeffrey turned back around, the scowl still on his face.

"How about you mind your got damn business and get out of my place."

Benny held the card up between them, "Don't throw shit at no woman. Hand it to her."

"I'm not handing shit to her. You can if you want to and then get the hell out."

Laughing a little, Benny's free hand went to his throat. He squeezed then lifted the smaller man off the ground. Lainey had to stop her friend from getting up, her intervening wouldn't make Benny let him go and Lainey knew it.

"You heard what I said. I don't fuckin repeat myself," Benny said through gritted teeth, "Do what I said or Ima toss you the way you tossed this card."

Benny held him up a few seconds longer then let him go and held the card out. Jeffrey took it for him and went to hold it out to Melissa with a shaky hand then left the room quickly.

"Hes gonna be so mad when yall leave," Melissa laughed.

Benny shrugged. "You got my number, call if you need me to break his jaw."

"Break his jaw?"

"Yeah," Benny nodded a small smirk on his face. "I break jaws and I break backs. Depends on my mood."

Lainey stood up quickly groaning, "See, uhn uhn that's nasty. Let's go, Benjamin."

Benny laughed at both females reactions. Melissa sat there looking stuck, just staring at him. He winked at her ignoring his sister pulling his arm.

"Ima get outta here and get my lil baby home. But you call me, aight?"

Melissa nodded. "Alright, Benny."

"Your lil baby is ready to go," Lainey sassed, "Bring your ass on, Romeo."

Benny dropped her off at the house then went to his office to check on the paperwork the secretary said he needed to look over. To be honest, he had been avoiding going to his tow yard. He was still extremely angry with Mitch but he didn't want to get carried away and kill him. He was ruthleess but he wasn't stupid.

Seeing the old Honda made him roll his eyes but he got out anyway and went inside the office. He stopped by the secretary's desk to pick up the folder with his name on it then headed back to the larger office. Mitch got up from his desk when he saw his friend wall into their shared office.

"Benny, I been callin you. I wanna talk and make this right." Mitch sputtered out quickly.

"You wanna talk," Benny scoffed tossing the folder onto his desk, "Talk about how you groped my lil baby in the one place she's supposed to be safe?"

Mitch sighed, "You have every right to be pissed, I get it. I was drunk and not thinking I'm sorry."

Benny swung at the slightly taller man, hitting him in his mouth. "Keep that bullshit ass apology. You thought she was gon let you do it and give in but my sister smarter than them females you be dealing with."

Mitch doubled over and held his jaw, "Dammit, B! Chill!"

Ignoring him, Benny charge at his former friend knocking him over and started to assault him. Though Mitch was bigger in stature, Benny was much stronger and it showed. Mitch was pretty much powerless in the fight. Satisfied with what he'd done, Benny got up and dusted himself off. He went to his desk to sign the paperwork leaving his unconscious ex friend on the floor and left when he was finish. Benny knew he didn't have enough money to buy Much outta his half of their business but when he did, Mitch was a good as gone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three months later and things were going smoothly. Fortunately for Jeffrey's jaw, he had been cordial with Melissa so Benny didn't have to make any visits. But that didn't stop her from talking to him on the phone almost every night, and taking him lunch a few times a week. Mitch's brusies had finally healed and he came back to work full time but he was rarely in the office with Benny. Caleb had moved into the house, Benny and Lainey didn't protest it, they were trying for the sake of their mother to have a better relationship with him. Lainey had spent those months getting her salon prepared and decorated, finally she was finished. It was time for her party to celebrate the night before opening.

"Girl, you did a good ass job in here," Marcie exclaimed hugger her friend.

"Thank you, girl. I couldnt have done it without Benny. He was actually pretty helpful."

Marcie looked around. "Where is he anyway? I figired he might have been with Melissa but she's over there with your mom."

Lainey shrugged, "He said he had to pick up my gifts. He should be here in a little while though."

"Aaah, okay. So how does it feel to have your own salon? Its all yours, girl."

Lainey laughed, "Its not mine till I pay for it completely but I'm excited. I've wanted this for forever."

"What do you mean? Girl, I already know about it being paid off."

"What? No its not," Lainey frowned. "I haven't paid for this."

Charles crept up behind her smiling and spoke softly. "But I did."

Jumping, Lainey turned around with a smile on her face. She accepted his hug enjoying his arms around her then pulled away and hit his arm.

"Charles, did you really pay for this?"

He nodded. "Yes ma'am, I did."

"But why? Charles, that's a lot of money."

"To you it might be," he replied moving a piece of hair from her face, "But to me no amount of money is too much. Think of it as a gift from your man."

Melissa came over at the end of his statement and nudged Marcie.

"Ooop, don't let Benny find out his lil baby got a man," she joked.

Marcie laughed, "That vein in his neck gon burst open in here."

Lainey flipped them off the turned back to Charles. "I dont know what to say but thank you. I'll pay it back."

Charles kissed her forehead, "Pay me back by letting me take you to dinner tomorrow after you close."

Lainey agreed just as his phone started to ring. He let her know he was going to step back into her office to take the call. While he was gone the ladies talked amongst each other and the other party goers. Tilda went to grab her niece's hand and led her over to her parents.

"We are so proud of you, babygirl. You've wanted this since you were young and you got it." Caleb reminisced. He moved in to hug her and for the first time in a while she didn't reject him.

Hanna was next, she squeeezed her daughter tight and rocked them from side to side before letting go. "You just don't know how happy and proud I am of you, little girl. And I didn't forget about my trip to Aruba either."

Lainey laughed and nodded. "Yes ma'am. You know Ima still take you."

Thirty minutes went by before Benny walked in with a big smile on his face. He cut the music down then gathered everybody around excitedly.

"You ready for ya gift, Lainey?" He asked.

"Yees! I been waiting all night for it."

Benny laughed, "Its only been an hour since the party started, drama queen. But I got you something that will make this evening feel complete. You ready?"

Lainey nodded wondering what her brother could have possibly gotten her. He had already made sure she had everything in the salon and then some. Benny told her and their mama to close their eyes then went to open the door.

"Aight, on the count of three open your eyes. Yall count with me."

....1

......2

........3

Mother and daughter opened their eyes and screamed. Cameron and Zion stood before them smiling. Cameron had to catch their mama from falling and pulled her into a hug. Lainey jumped on Zion holding onto him for dear life. Both women cried happy tears.

"My babies," Hanna called out. "Oh thank you, Jesus! My babies are all here!"

"We home, Ma," Cameron told her pulling away. "We home for good."

Lainey switched with her mama and hugged Cameron tight then went to hug Benny thanking him. The brothers hugged their father and aunt as the the party went back to normal. Melissa and Marcie stood off to the side watching the reunion.

"I see you," Melissa said filling her cup with punch.

"You see me what?"

"I see you looking at her brother. You over there undressing him with your eyes. For shame," she teased.

Marcie laughed nervously. "Oh whatever, I was just watching them hug. It was beautiful."

"You don't gotta lie to me."

"Look here, Ms. He said he breaks backs and I want him to break mine," Marcie spat playfully. "I'm married not blind."

"Mmmhmmm...not too much longer it looks like."

Finally done with his call, Charles rejoined the party and went straight to Lainey. He kissed her cheek letting her know he was back.

"Hey hey whoa. Who is you and why you kissing on my baby sister?" Cam asked quickly pulling his sister towards him and his brothers.

Zion wiped her cheek off and glared at him.

Benny laughed and he folded his arms across his chest. He told everybody he was nice brother, now they were about to find out one by one.

"My apologies, I'm Charles Frederickson. Nice to finally meet you two," Charles said with a genuine smile on his face.

"You the governor, ain't you?" Zion asked.

"Yeah," Charles nodded with a slight laugh, "That's me. And no I don't have more important shit to do. Your sister takes priority as long as it isn't life or death."

"Mmhm," Cameron mumbled. "So why are your lips on my sister?"

Benny jumped in, "He call himself with a thing for her. She been talkin to him a lot."

"Hmm, is that so?" Zion asked.

"Benny's right, I definitely have a thing for your sister. I asked her to make things official bit ahe said I had to go through the three of you first. So," Charles chuckled, "This time is as good as any. I'd love to date your siste, make things official. Can I have your blessing?"

Cameron and Zion stared at him and Benny answered. "Give us some time to think about it. We'll let you know, man."

"Fair enough," He nodded. "I'm gonna go grab some food and let you yall catch up. Lainey, come find me when you're done."

Charles smiled at her before walking off. Lainey started to follow him but Cam pulled her back.

"Bring ya lil hot ass back here. Where he come from?"

Lainey shrigged still smiling. "I met him when I did the Firat Lady and her family's hair. Isn't he sweet?"

"No," all three brothers answered.

"Look at you all giddy and blushing," Zion said, "Uhn uhn, we gotta check him out first. Aint no fool taking advantage our our baby."

Lainey pouted looking at her brother. "Don't run him away like yall did the other boys. That's why nobody wanted to date me, they was scared of yall."

"Anybody that got scared by us being normal big brothers ain't good enough for you," Benny assured her kissing her head.

Lainey folded her arms, "Yall always threatened to shoot them."

"Okay and?" Cam asked shrugging.

After the party was over, Lainey and her siblings stayed behind to clean everything up. Charles, Marcie and Melissa offered to help but were denied. The clean up was almost finshed when the door chimed and opened.

"Who the fuck," Benny's voice trailed off seeing their estranged sister standing there. "What is your ass doing here, Candace?"

"Nice to see you to, B." She laughed. "Ooh Cam, Zion, yall are out. Good to see yall too. It's been years."

Lainey stepped forward, "He asked you a question. Why are you here? You know you're not welcome around us."

Candace sucked her teeth, "No need for the attitude, Alaina. I jist wanted to come see my family and congratulate you."

"Uhuh, you've seen is and said your peace. Leave." Lainey demanded.

Candace looked around the salon and whistled lowly. "This is nice. I wonder what or who you had to do to get this."

"I'm not you, I worked legitimately for this, Candace."

"You're right about one thing. You're not me and could never be me, little girl. You're just a reject."

Benny pulled his little sister behind him knowing she was about to pounce. His older brothers watched the scene unfold, they wanted to see how Benny handled it. They knew he'd grown into an even better man than he was before he went to jail. He'd been handling everything in his own for years now and they were proud.

"Leave and don't bring ya ass back here or anywhere near us. You know I don't repeat myself, now go before I let her beat ya ass lies she did last time."

Candace scrunched her nose up at him and started to back away laughing. "No need to be so hostile, I just wanted to give yall a gift "

"Leave," Benny barked loudly.

Candace noddee and headed towards the door. She stepped out then stepped back in with her son. She pushed him towards them with a scowl on her face.

"Since yall moved out the hood and doing better figured yall would want that. Have him," she shrugged the turned to leave.

Lainey rushed to the the five year old and picked him up. "Lil Q, baby. Where have you been?"

He looked at her stragely for a second. "I dont know."

"Do you remember me?"

Taking a few moments to stare at her, he slowly started to nod and smile formed on his face. "Auntie!"

The brothers watched the moment with mixed feelings. They were glad their nephew was back with them nut they knew Camdace wasn't just giving him to them to be nice. She was planning something and they were going to figure out what.

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

[goffilolo]

Revival of Midoriya Izuku Part 1

Alright you fuckin gremlins yall have been waiting months for this and so was I, so without further ado, heres new isntallment of demise!au fic

NOTE: THIS FIC TAKES PLACE ABOUT 9 MONTHS AFTER THE EVENTS OF ORIGINAL DEMISE FIC

you can also find it on ao3 under the same title

The interrogation room at Musutafu’s police station has long become a familiar sight for Izuku. Whether or not it was a good thing was a completely different issue. Let’s just say that the past 9 months of Izuku’s hospital free life were just an extended shitshow of t-posing at the legal system.

And in the middle of it all sat the boy himself, handcuffed to the table for probably a 100th time (‘kinky’ he said to the officer who cuffed him, and the man fled the room looking more uncomfortable than Kacchan during the ‘Bakugou shitshow’). With his mom sitting on a chair next to him, looking far too bored for a woman whose son gets arrested on a weekly basis and Trash Bandit occupying the rest of the table Izuku looks to his left, eyes meeting his own reflection in the two way mirror.

He might be handcuffed, but that’s not going to stop him from flipping off whichever officer was currently standing behind that mirror. And if he happened to be checking himself out while at it then, well it’s not really anybody’s business. Izuku’s green hair has grown out quite a lot over the past months, now reaching his shoulders and being even more unkept than usual. The brown coat from the hospital’s lost-and-found box became his second skin, and definitely needed a wash. All in all the boy would describe his look as ‘straight-outta-trash’, which also happens to be the only type of straight he is.

Izuku’s musings got interrupted as the door to the interrogation room slammed open, the sound being followed by what can only be described as a middle aged sigh of resignation and disappointment.

“Well fuck me if it isn’t my favourite detective! What’s up Tsukauchi, did you miss me?” asked Izuku with a shit eating grin.

“Didn’t have the time to, since I literally saw you yesterday. Would it kill you to stay at home and not get yourself in trouble?” asked the detective in the same exasperated tone Izuku often hears Shin use on him. Huh, they would get along.

“Honestly detective, you and your unrealistic expectations. No wonder you’re still single” replied Izuku in only a half-joking manner.

Tsukauchi opened his mouth as if to retaliate, then looked down at the sheep standing on the table and back at Izuku. He closed his mouth promptly, his face morphing into a very accurate expression of ‘I don’t get paid enough for this’.

‘They would really get along’ thought Izuku.

The detective sat down on the chair on the opposite side of the table. He took out the evidence file and laid it down on the table, which wasn’t his smartest move given the sheep that occupied most of the surface. Izuku scoffed at the offending file. Upon noticing his owner’s reaction, Trash Bandit started to chew on the papers while looking Tsukauchi dead in the eye as the man tried to pry the evidence from the sheep’s mouth.

“Do we really have to go through this every single time?” asked Izuku, motioning to his handcuffs to make a point “It’s always the same old drill, I go and do my shit, you guys arrest me, the law doesn’t account for me being quirkless, you let me go. Honestly why do you even bother at this point?”

“Because-” stated Tsukauchi as he waved around a half eaten photograph from the evidence folder “-you really outdone yourself this time!”

“I did the right thing and YOU KNOW IT!” shouted Izuku as he stood up from his seat, the handcuffs being the only thing holding him back.

“Izuku that’s not up to you to decide-”

“Don’t! I get that you work in law enforcement, but if your sense of right and wrong is dictated by the legal system then you have a moral spine of a chocolate eclair!”

“Says the troublemaker who plays a hero-wannabe in his spare time” replied Tsukauchi.

Izuku scoffed at the man and sat down once again. He turned towards his mother who rather predictably had a worried look on her face at the mention of ‘heroes’. It was still a bit of a sore topic for Izuku, even after all these months and she knew it better than anyone else. The fact that it was Tsukauchi who rubbed at the wound only made it worse.

“A hero?! If you were any good of a detective you’d know that this statement couldn’t be further from the truth” sneered Izuku.

“Then HELP me get the truth. All I know is what they showed in the news and we both know that it’s not worth much, so why don’t you tell me what actually happened?”

Well, Izuku doesn’t really have much of a choice in that matter since this IS an interrogation and all of you noisy fuckers reading this are probably wondering how he got here in the first place.

The day started out rather peacefully. Now that Izuku was homeschooled he had a lot of free time, which was definitely not a good thing and led to a boredom driven shenanigans, but more on that later. Now all the teenager wanted was to get something to eat. Preferably at a place that won’t kick him out for going in with a sheep, but well, you can’t have everything.

Izuku was currently walking through the town centre with Shin, the doctor moving almost like a zombie after his night shift at the hospital. They agreed to meet up in the morning and have a breakfast together before the morning rush began. The two were heading to a cat cafe ‘ Nyanny ’, one of the very few establishments in the city that he’s yet to be kicked out of, mainly because the cats there got really attached to Trash Bandit. Afterwards Izuku plans on hanging around UA since a friend of his will be taking the entrance exam and Izuku, being a semi-decent friend that he was, wanted to be there for emotional support.

“Can you not?” asked Shin as he pulled a cigarette out of Izuku’s mouth, who in turn looked over dramatically “Don’t look at me like this! As your doctor I can’t let you ruin your health like this in my presence!”

“You’re my psychiatrist, you’re supposed to be fixing my mental problems, leave my physical problems out of this.”

“A single cigarette can take away a day off your life, is this what you want?”

The teenager looks at the doctor with a face expression that can only be described as ‘fuck yeah’ as he opens up his backpack, retreats a pack of cigarettes, takes all of them out of the box, puts them in his mouth and lights all of them while looking Shin dead in the eye to establish dominance.

The doctor sighed in resignation “I expected nothing and was still let down” he said.

“To be fair letting people down is like my main skill” is what Izuku would’ve said if it wasn’t for the 20 cigarettes in his mouth, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

The doctor eventually gave up on lecturing the teen and the two continued their walk. As they neared the intersection leading up to the train station the streets got much more crowded, although that is to be expected. What was unexpected however was the commotion that seemed to be taking place there. With the amount of people gathered at the street you’d think Beyonce is in town and she challenged All Might to a rap battle, and Izuku would pay good money to see that shit.

Unfortunately there was no Beyonce in sight, only a fuck ton of people blocking Izuku’s way and half a dozen of police cars.

“Hey Shin, wanna check it out?”

“I’m literally on a brink of exhaustion, but sure, why not”

As the two - or three if you count Trash Bandit - made their way through the crowd, Izuku realized that whatever was happening was far more serious than he originally thought. Heroes and police alike were scattered across the whole area, civilians were screaming and something was definitely on fire. He also noticed a camera crew trying to get good scope of the whole action. All in all it was Izuku’s dreams come true.

“I’m betting you all my money that it’s another villain attack”

“First of all, you have no money. Second of all, please don’t do anything rash” begs Shin.

“I would never” says Izuku as he pulls out an axe out of his backpack.

Events like these aren’t uncommon, Izuku has seen plenty of public hero displays as they detained villains on the streets and obnoxiously gained the favour of the public eye. He’d know, he used to be one of the morons staring at them in amazement. What was unusual however was that none of the heroes were closing in on the source of this whole chaos. From where he was standing the boy couldn’t even see the villain in question, but just form people’s reactions he could tell the damage was bad. The fire prevented most of them from getting close and Death Arms was trying to keep civilians away from the area. Mt. Lady couldn’t enter the area and she got stuck the narrow road due to her size and the rest of the heroes didn’t even attempt to get closer. Cowards, was what they were, running around like a bunch of mindless lemmings.

As Izuku pushed past the crowd, dragging his doctor along he finally saw what, or rather who was causing all the havoc.

It was a person captured by what Izuku thinks is a sludge villain. Boy does that give him some late night ideas-

“Get your mind out of the gutter, you weirdo!” exclaimed Shin.

- oh, he said it out loud, haven’t he?

“Kinda hard to do when this thing looks like it crawled straight out of the gutter itself” retorted Izuku.

He then separated from Shin to try and find a police officer and get a better idea of the whole situation. Although his relationship with the cops wa far from great, they were far too busy trying to contain the situation to argue with Izuku and so he managed to find out that the villain was originally captured by All Might last year and he escaped from jail seeking chaos and revenge. The entire situation was just as cliché as it sounded.

He went back to find Shin who was currently sheep sitting for him in this entire madness and using his height to get a better look than him “I know I haven’t been up to date with all the hero stuff, but I think even I would’ve heard of this sludge” he said to the doctor.

“I remember when they were reporting it on the news” he replied “It was the day you were admitted to the ward.”

“Oh”

“Izuku”

“What?”

“I think the sludge has Bakugou”

“WHAT?”

The bespectacled man pointed towards the sludge and as Izuku looked closer, sure enough, it was definitely Bakugou thrashing around and using his quirk to try and blow himself away from the villain with little success so far.

“Huh, so that’s where all the fire came from” mused Shin.

Izuku looked down at his axe and back up at Bakugou, whose eyes were screaming for help. He had a choice to make.

“Well this has just gotten personal” states Izuku.

As he moved forward through the remainder of the crowd, he realised once again that the choice has made itself without his brain’s input, but what else is new. His mind was blank as he ran past the police tape, evaded Death Arms and went straight into the fire.

He realised how ridiculous the situation was. Here he was; a quirkless loser running head first towards the danger with nothing but an axe like an IDIOT, because a bunch of pro heroes won’t do their fuckin job. This is absurd!

Keep running!

There’s so many people around who are much more qualified to save Bakugou-

Keep running!

And they’re doing NOTHING!-

KEEP RUNNING!

“KACCHAN!”

“DEKU, what the fuck are you doing? GET AWAY!”

“FUCK THAT!” screamed Izuku as he threw his backpack at the sludge, temporarily distracting the villain “Today’s the entrance exam! I’m getting your ass out of this, whether you like it or not!”

Bakugou fought against the sludge trying to suffocate him as he took shallow breaths in between his pleas for Izuku to get away. Izuku tried clawing at the sludge without much success and the villain laughed at his incompetence.

“Silly boy~ Your efforts are useless, you might as well say goodbye to your friend now!” sneered the sludge “Look around you, all these heroes at the scene and none of them willing to get close enough to save you. Face it boy-”

Oh, shut the fuck up!

“-you’re going to die soon”

Suddenly, Izuku stopped fighting altogether. The screams of the crowd, the fire, the heroes and the cops surrounding him; they became nothing but a background noise. He stood eerily still and for a second, both the villain and Bakugou thought that he sobered up and decided that the fight wasn’t worth it, until they saw his hand; the one holding the axe shaking uncontrollably.

“You think you’re the one who gets to kill me?” asked Izuku, in a strangely calm voice laced with a drop of sarcasm.

Without any warning the boy held his axe high in the air, ready to strike. Although he looked like an embodiment of madness, his mind couldn’t have been clearer. He knew that he couldn’t inflict any damage to the sludge itself, but everyone had a weakness and Izuku was staring it right in the eye.

“You think YOU are strong enough to kill ME? Don’t kid yourself you slimefucker!!!” screamed Izuku as he swung his axe down right into the villain’s eye. The villain let out an ear-splitting screech and completely let go of Bakugou, who fell to the ground like a ragdoll trying to catch his breath. The heroes were speechless and the police was already calling for an ambulance, while the civilians screamed in surprise. Amongst the crowd stood a tall figure, who has seen more than enough and decided to step in.

As Izuku pulled his weapon out, his movements were followed by a sickening sound of wet flesh, blending in with the noises made by the movement of the sludge. He took another swing at the villain.

“Listen up you you gooey pile of shit!-”

STAB

“-If a fall from a four story building couldn’t kill me-”

STAB

“-NOTHING WILL!”

Before Izuku could take another swing he was stopped by a gust of wind so strong that the villain went flying into the sky. Izuku lost his balance and promptly fell on his ass next to Bakugou. The attack was so powerful that the sludge started to fall down like rain, putting out any remaining fire in the area. It seemed like the whole atmosphere cooled down in an instant. Both teenagers were shocked beyond belief to say the least as they looked up to see the source of the powerful blast.

Lo and fuckin behold, it was All Might himself and the whole crowd clapped. Izuku was brought out of his shocked state as the Number 1 Hero leaned down and picked the boys up as if they weighted no more than a couple of grapes.

“My boy, what you did was certainly brave, but ought to be more careful in the-”

“Zip it He Man, I don’t have time for lectures” spat Izuku, with far more venom than he anticipated. Meeting a man who used to be his idol and a symbol of his long dead dreams was not as easy as Izuku would’ve thought. It’s been months since the hospital days, but it looks like time does not heal all the wounds, at least not the emotional ones.

As Izuku became fully aware of his surroundings he realised that how much of an uproar his arrival at the scene has caused. While most of the civilians were too busy admiring All Might, the police looked like they wanted nothing more than arrest him at the spot like usual. Bakugou was strangely quiet, though Izuku brushed it off as still being in the “I almost died” shock. Izuku knew something about that.

Since the fire was put out people could move more freely and soon enough Izuku was cornered by a reporter and her camera crew. As much as he hated being put on the spot like this and he was a bit short on time, Izuku couldn't help but think bitterly about how this whole situation wasn’t HIS fault at all. He wouldn’t have to intervene if these so called pros actually did their jobs. The fact that he couldn’t see Shin anywhere in the crowd only added to his irritation. In the corner of his eye he could see the police approaching, he needed to move fast. Although looking at the reporter, Izuku thinks he might have a little fun before their race to the UA began.

He grabbed the reporter’s microphone and faced the cameras, putting on his best shit eating grin.

“You people want some news? Well here it is! You see these fuckers over there?” he asks while waving his axe in the direction of the pro heroes “They’re full of shit. They call themselves heroes, yet they stood and did nothing when my friend needed to be saved. Is this what it means to be a hero? To stand around fighting small fries, but the moment something serious happens, unwilling to step in and help those who need it? Wake up people, because this is what your tax money pays for!”

Te reporter tried to pry the microphone from Izuku’s hands and the police was coming closer, he had to hurry it up.

“I’m Midoriya Izuku, a quirkless nobody and you are watching the NHK News!” he finished off before handing the microphone back to the distressed reporter.

He grabbed Bakugou’s hand, looking around in panic for any way to leave the area quickly enough. The villain attack was close to the train station, so he wouldn’t be surprised if the trains were temporarily down. There were people everywhere and the police officers looked like they were itching to arrest him. They were running out of time, he had to get Bakugou to the exam on time. Think, a way out. Quick, no time. No path, no way-

Suddenly, the crowd parted like the red fuckin sea itself, except instead of Moses a car drove through like it was speeding to get to the mall on a Black Friday. It made a sudden turn and stopped with a loud screech right in front of Izuku and Bakugou. Izuku should probably be surprised at this point, he really should, but life was already so goddamn weird, it might as well happen. The car’s windows rolled down and Bandit’s head poked out of the vehicle.

“Baaaa”

“Holy shit, Bandit did you steal a car?”

“Don’t be ridiculous” shouted Shin, who as Izuku just noticed sat in the driver’s seat “Hurry up and get in, you two caused quite a scene!”

Izuku and Bakugou looked at each other, then back at the car. Well, they literally had nothing to lose…

“Except our dignity” said Bakugou, because Izuku still hasn’t managed to get his shit together and fix his muttering problem.

“Bold of you to assume I have dignity” he answered instead.

The two teenagers entered the back of the car as quickly as possible, with Shin flooring the gas pedal before they even managed to get the door closed.

The car made a sharp turn as they drove away from the scene like a bunch of criminals on the run.

“I’m gonna be honest with you boys, I‘m not quite sure what just happened” exclaimed Shin as he drove past a red light like it was his second nature, although it was more likely due to his sleep deprivation.

“We’re in deep shit, that’s what happened” said Bakugou.

“What else is new?” said Izuku, before turning back to Shin “Anyway, less thinking, more driving, we have to be at UA in like 10 minutes if we want Kacchan to still have a chance at the entrance exam!”

“Deku are you crazy?!” shouted Bakugou “There’s no way we can get to UA on time! We barely escaped a villain attack just now, which by the way you should’ve stayed out of-”

“IF I STAYED OUT OF THIS YOU WOULD BE DEAD!” screamed Izuku.

“WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?!”

“BECAUSE YOU MADE A FUCKIN PROMISE!!!”

The car fell silent as Shin tried to focus on not falling asleep behind the wheel, completely blocking out the teenage drama in the backseat. Bandit was having a time of their life sticking the head out of through the window, feeling the wind in the wool, completely oblivious to the tension. The two teenagers meanwhile were busy having a stare down.

“For fucks sake Deku, is this what it’s all about? Some fuckin promise I had my arm twisted into making because you dragged my ass in front of my parents?”

“The Kacchan I know is a rude, overambitious, self-centered bastard-”

“Are you looking for a fight!-”

“-a bastard that never breaks a promise!” exclaimed Izuku “That day at the hospital...you said you would get into UA and become ‘Number 1 Hero’ regardless of what I said.”

“And you said that I’m not a hero material...” pointed Bakugou “...but those heroes at the scene were pretty useless…”

“They sure were” mumbled Izuku.

“Maybe you were right” sneers Bakugou, humourlessly “maybe being hero isn’t worth shit if a quirkless ass like you can do a better job than them!”

“That’s like the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Thanks Kacchan!” relied Izuku in the most sarcastic tone he could utter.

Their little ‘moment’ was however quickly interrupted by the sudden turn that had them flying across their seats, which could’ve been avoided if they wore seatbelts has it not been for Izuku’s life philosophy of ‘No safety measures, we die like men’. The teenagers turned around to see what caused the sudden turn and noticed that they’re currently being chased by two police cars. And it’s not even noon yet! That’s a new accomplishment for Izuku.

At that point Shin just rolled down the window and started to flip off the police “I’M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL!” he shouted while speeding past other cars on the road. There was something almost poetic about seeing your psychiatrist - the person whose job is to make you into a sane and functional human being- screaming at cops and accidentally admitting that he was in jail at some point in his life. The doctor then turns around and says “Don’t worry, I haven’t killed anyone” as if it was supposed to be reassuring to his patients in the middle of a police chase.

“Huh, at this point we might actually make it to UA on time” said Izuku in a rather nonchalant fashion, leaving Bakugou scandalised to say the least.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT?! WE’RE BEING CHASED BY THE FUCKIN POLICE!”

“Well how’s that any different than my usual day?”

“HOW WOULD I KNOW? I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN MONTHS!”

“Can you two shut up? I’m trying to drive here!”

And with that, the car was overtaken by silence, the only thing interrupting it being the police sirens heard from the behind. For a situation as bizarre as this, Izuku felt strangely calm about the whole thing. It was almost nostalgic, getting to spend time with Kacchan in a civil manner, or as civil as they could get considering the circumstances and having Shin’s support in the strangest way possible. ‘I wouldn’t mind it if all my days were like this’ he thought while reluctantly putting on his seatbelt.

Soon enough they reached the gates of UA just as they were about to be closed. In a moment of panic, Izuku reached into the pocket of his jumper and pulled out a flask, unscrewing the cap and quickly handing it to Bakugou.

“Look we’re a bit short on time, so drink this and go kick some asses, you can process your near death experience trauma after the exam is over.”

“What is this?” asked Bakugou, rightfully suspicious of the mysterious flask that Izuku seems to casually carry around.

“The quil”

“What qui-” unfortunately Bakugou didn’t get to finish the sentence as Izuku forced the flask into his mouth and tilted his head back, making Bakugou drink all of the liquid.

“Ok, so this shit will make you see through time, but that’s normal, you can do it!” shouted Izuku as he clapped the blond on the back and pushed him out of the car.

Both Izuku and Shin watched him run up to the gate right before it closed and they simultaneously sighed in relief.

“You did the right thing” commented the doctor “Your method was questionable at best, but you did the right thing in the end. Not many people would have the strength to help someone like Bakugou.”

“I know”

“What you did was very heroic”

“Oh, fuck off!”

“...so after we parked the police cars caught up with us and they arrested us. Well, me for whatever the fuck that was and Shin for breaking some traffic laws” said Izuku as he recalled the events of this chaotic morning.

“What’s going to happen to him now detective?” asked Inko, because although she might not look like it, she was very much worried about her son, despite knowing that he wasn’t in the wrong for doing what he did.

The atmosphere in the interrogation room became tense as the Midoriyas stared at detective Tsukauchi expectedly. The man looked down at his notes, the evidence folder and sighed in defeat. They’ve been here for hours and it became clear that even the detective didn’t want to be a part of this.

“You’re a lucky kid Izuku” exclaimed Tsukauchi “The only thing we could technically charge you with would be a possession of a fixed blade longer than three inches, but even then it was used in defence of a civilian, and you better thank God that no one has bothered to fix the legal loopholes for the quirkless under the Citizen’s arrest law.”

“Does that mean I can just go?”

“Fortunately yes”

“Nice~” said Izuku “Alright then kinky bastards, uncuff me!”

Right after he said that the door to the interrogation room opened, followed by the entrance of Ignenium himself. Although the appearance of the hero was unexpected, it was definitely appreciated. You see, while Izuku does have a problem with heroes in general, Ignenium, both as a hero and the man behind the mask was one of the most kind and righteous people the boy has ever met and could never bring himself to dislike. And sure the way they met wasn’t the most favourable one, but that’s a story for another time.

“Tensei! What are you doing here?” asked Izuku excitedly.

“I came in here a while ago after making an arrest and an officer told me you got caught doing something stupid again. I couldn’t help my curiosity so I sat and listened to your story” explained the man as he pointed to the one-way mirror. He then closed in on the table and unlocked Izuku’s handcuffs from the surface “Alright let’s get you out of here.”

As Tensei took still handcuffed Izuku out of the room, Inko stayed behind to sign some paperwork that Tsukauchi tried and failed to stop the sheep from chewing on.

The hero and the teenager made their way into the main lobby where they had to wait for the keys to the handcuffs. As they stood around, Izuku with his hands behind his back they were approached by another teenager who looked vaguely familiar and very attractive, as in hot, beefy nerd with dark hair and square glasses that would help you with homework and carry you on his shoulders type of attractive. He stood tall with posture and confidence that the old Izuku could never dream of having, and one that the current Izuku had wet dreams about.

“Nii-san! Mother has informed me that you were at the station, so I came here to tell you about the entrance exam!” exclaimed the boy in the sheer volume of a person with ‘no inside voice’ while moving his hands in an almost robotic way.

“You sure look excited! Alright Tenya, tell me everything!” said Tensei and that’s when it dawned on Izuku…

“TENSEI WHAT THE HELL! Why didn’t you tell me you had a hot brother?!” he whined before quickly turning back to clearly confused Tenya.

“What’s up stud? You dropped something~” said Izuku in a clearly flirty tone as he checked the other one out.

Nevertheless Tenya still looked down in confusion at Izuku’s words, choosing to ignore the way he said it.

“What did I drop?” he asked.

“Your standards. Hi, I’m Izuku~” exclaimed the freckled boy with a shit eating grin as he brought his right hand forward that still had a pair of handcuffs hanging from it, awaiting a handshake.

The other was flustered beyond belief, while Tensei just groaned out in second hand embarrassment from watching awkward teenage flirting with his younger brother on the receiving side.

Wait a minute…

“HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE HANDCUFFS?”

[faketextstuff]

The Arrangement pt6

Summary:: You’ve never imagined yourself being a sugar baby but because of some playful friends and a stroke of luck, you find yourself with a man who is apparently willing to give you the moon and stars. The only problem is, no strings attached. Don’t catch feelings, don’t fall for a man who thinks money can solve all your issues and doesn’t want commitment.

Warnings:: SEXUAL TENSION!!!!!

Pairing:: Yoongi x Reader

A/N:: I’m sorry for the lack of updates and please forgive typos. I did this on my phone. I gave yall a little treat at the end for being so sweet and waiting on me! <3 Love ya’ll and please let me know what you think about this chapter!

Today had been a whirlwind! One moment you're at work quitting your job and now you're standing in front of a huge full length mirror dressed in a very beautiful cocktail dress from none other than the Gucci store.

"Hmm.." the voice from behind you hummed out in though as a tall figure stalked around you, eying the way the dress hung to the right curves of your body and flattered all of your assets perfectly. "This is nice but it doesn't pop as much as it could." That voice belonged to none other than world known fashion designer Kim Taehyung.

Today had been like a dream. Shopping with a famous fashion designer after the two of you took in an afternoon at a high class spa getting massages and pampered. You were completely surprised at how easy Taehyung was to talk to. He was very childlike and had an aura of innocence that warmed your heart. However right now he was in complete work mode, his face was stern and his expression unreadable as he made try on dress after dress. The red dress was too loose. The navy blue one was ugly, the purple one didnt compliment your skin tone, the white one made you look too young. Dress after dress he nixed until now.

You felt beautiful in the black cocktail dress and somehow felt confident. "I like this one though." You muttered out, almost scared of what Taehyung's response would be.

He fell silent for a moment before stepping around in front of you. "I see you're not one for flashy dresses?" He smiled warmly before reaching out to smooth out the dress. "I suppose this one will pass once we doll you up with some simple jewelry and some nice heels."

You felt a wave of relief wash over you that he didnt criticize your opinion. "Do I really need jewelry?"

For a moment, Taehyung looked offended. "Of course! You're going out with the boss, you need to look as good as possible on his arm. You want people to look at you with jealously and awe."

"I dont care what others think of me, I just dont want to embarrass Yoongi." You answered honestly while doing a twirl in front of the mirror.

Taehyung smiled watching you and with a playful sigh nodded his head. "Fine, but I'm still going to do your hair and makeup. I was told to make sure you get the five star pamper treatment."

"Fine, who am I to deny Kim Taehyung a makeover opportunity." You chuckled softly.

"I have a new doll!" Taehyung squealed excitedly and glanced over towards the sales rep that had been assisting you both the whole day. "We'll take this dress, we need heels to match and we will wear them out." His tone switched from playful to business in 0.2 seconds when talking to the rep. You could tell how serious he was about this and it was kind of exciting for you to witness.

You felt a bit uneasy about using Yoongi's card to pay for such an expensive dress but you didnt have the funds to pay for such a dress and shoes. In your mind you began putting together ideas on how you could pay him back for all the kindness he had been showing you today. He had said it was part of the sugar baby contract but you still felt uneasy about receiving all this treatment. You swiped the card with an uneasy expression which caused Taehyung to giggle softly from beside you.

"Not used to spending so much?" He asked watching your brow crease as you signed the receipt.

"That obvious?" You chuckled as the clerk handed you a bag full of the clothes and shoes you had worn in.

"A bit. Dont show that in front of Boss or he'll just spoil you even more. To be honest you're the first on I've ever seen hesitate so much using his credit card. Most of the others swiped it so much I was surprised the card didnt burst into flames."

You chuckled as Taehyung grabbed the bag from you and began escorting you out of the store. "I'm not one of those girls. I never had a lot growing up so I dont think I'll ever get used to spending this kind of money."

"You're definitely different from the others but that's a good thing. I think you're what Boss needs right now. Hes under a lot of stress so I think you will be a breath of fresh air for him." Taehyung nodded opening the door for you.

The moment you stepped out you were blinded by a storm of bright flashing lights. "There she is! Are you Y/F/N?" You almost stumbled back as a group of reporters and photographers surrounded you.

"What is your relationship with Min Yoongi?"

"Is it true you are dating?"

"How did you meet?"

"If you are dating him, why are you out with Kim Taehyung?"

Question after question was more or less screamed into your face. You only stood there like a deer in headlights as you ducked your head to avoid the assault of flashing lights. You were about to run back into the store but Taehyung wrapped a protective arm around you and placed his hand in front of your face.

"Y/N, this way." Taehyung yelled over the crowd and began pulling you through the crowd and quickly down the street. This action sent the reporters into a frenzy and they didnt hesitate to begin chasing you down the street. Taehyung grabbed your hand and you two more or less took off into a sprint. You stumbled a bit in the new heels but you kept up with him as best you could.

As you both rounded the corner, a black SUV pulled up next to you, the window rolled down and you glanced over at the driver and saw a young handsome guy driving. "Get in!" He called as he pulled to an abrupt stop. You hesitated but Taehyung flung the back door open and quickly ushered you inside.

You slid across the plush seats as Taehyung jumped in beside you and slammed the door shut. "Go Jungkook!" He called as the reporters still tried to snap pictures of the both of you. You recognized the name Jungkook as one of the names Jimin had put into your phone. He was one of Yoongi's bodyguards.

You were panting harshly as Jungkook sped off down the street, leaving the reporters behind. "Fuckin' vultures." Jungkook growled glancing in the rear-view mirror. "Are ya'll alright? I came as soon as I heard reporters were scouting the store."

"How did they know where we were so fast?!" Taehyung panted, leaning back in his seat.

"How do you think? That cockroach has Y/N being tailed."

You felt your blood run cold as you remembered the encounter earlier at your former job. The snobby woman's face popping into your head. "Caroline?" You asked glancing over yo Taehyung.

Both men fell silent and exchanged quick glances. "Yoongi told me about her today. Let's just say I've already met her." You forced a small chuckle and glanced down at your newly painted nails. "She seemed 'lovely'." You muttered, voice laced with sarcasm.

Jungkook chuckled and turned his gaze back to the road. "Yeah. So lovely." He snorted before shaking his head. "You'll need to be extra careful. She definitely has it out for you. She has it out for anyone who gets close to Yoongi. Once he hears about this he's going to lose his shit."

Taehyung sighed and rubbed his face roughly. "The sooner we find her the sooner we can keep her away from him and you. I wonder why she chose now to come crawling back from whatever hole she had been hiding in?"

"Because there's a chance for Yoongi to be happy. Happy without her. She cant stand that." Jungkook answered his friend while glancing back at you.

"I feel like I'm going to cause Yoongi a lot of stress." You spoke shyly, for a moment you began to question your whole contract relationship with the powerful CEO.

"He can handle stress. He's more worried about her getting to you rather than anything else. Please give it a chance." Taehyung reached over and placed his hand over yours.

You chuckled and shook your head. "I really like Yoongi, so if she comes for me, I wont go down without a fight." You spoke with confidence but you weren't sure if you were talking to yourself or the two men in the car with you.

Jungkook chuckled and turned the SUV into the safety of the company parking lot. "Keep that fighting spirit. But," he paused after he parked the car, his body turning in the seat so he could face you, "until we get this sorted, I'm going to be sticking around you. Acting as a bodyguard. I usually stay with Yoongi but I think it's better I watch over you."

Taehyung chuckled and cocked his head to the side. "You're gonna make Hobi jealous by spending so much time with my dress up doll." He teased with the same playful tone he had with Jimin earlier. You automatically knew Hobi was Hoseok's street name. Hardly anyone called him by his birth name.

You smirked as a red tint began to bloom over Jungkook's handsome features. "So you and Hobi....?" You asked before your mouth could stop you.

This question made Jungkook turn an even brighter shade of red. "So what if we are?" He asked defensively. Same sex couples were still a taboo thing around this city, most were met with disgust and looked down upon.

You giggled and shrugged. "Who cares if you are? I think you two are cute. I didnt get to talk to Hobi much but he seemed like a nice guy. Plus he stood up for me. I already like him, and you just saved our asses back there with those reporters, you two seem like quite the hero types."

You saw the tension leave Jungkook's body. "T-Thanks." He blushed a bit deeper. "We should go in and tell Yoongi about today."

"Isnt he in a meeting? I dont want to disturb his work." You shook your head. "I can just go up to his penthouse until he's finished. I dont want to stress him out anymore than he already is."

"As you wish." Jungkook smiled, in his mind he was already growing a strong liking for you in the fact you didnt feel like stressing his boss out, and how considerate you were being for his work. "I'll take you up, Tae, you have somewhere to be?" He asked with an arched brow as all three of you climbed out of the car. Jungkook knew better than to keep this from Yoongi. He knew his boss, he knew that he'd have to get on the media and start trying to protect your privacy and make sure the tabloids didnt post the pictures from today and start rumors.

"Yup! Got a meeting." Taehyung nodded as he handed you back your bag of clothes. He knew he had to go right up to Yoongi and report what happened unless he faced his bosses wrath. "I'll leave you with Kookie. I had fun today. I cant wait until we can go shopping again. I have so many beautiful clothes I'd love to dress you up in, little doll." He teased with a large boxy grin before bowing and waving you and the younger man off as Jungkook lead you back up to the penthouse.

- ----------

The rest of the day ticked by slowly, you and Jungkook both ordered some Thai food for lunch and had spent the afternoon exchanging stories from your past and laughing at odd jokes. You were glad Jungkook stuck around with you for the day, you knew you'd be bored out of your mind if you had to stay alone in such a large and new place. Jungkook's boyish personality and easy going nature made him extremely easy to get along with. In fact, it was hard not to adore his bunny like grin and laugh at his playful sense of humor. He definitely wasn't what you'd picture as a professional body guard.

"So how did you meet Yoongi?" You asked, your legs laid out across the couch and your back resting comfortably against the armrest.

"I met him when I was a teenager. I came here to originally be a photographer. I used to do a lot of freelance work for local musicians and bars around town." Jungkook began, a small grin tugging to his lips. "One day I was at this underground club where local rappers would go and have battles. He was the reigning champion of the underground back then. I got some good photos but I just remember being in awe at how easily he could put words and rhymes together. Almost like his brain was some kind of computer. Well, long story short one day these guys started to cause a bit of a scene after being kicked out of the battle and they went right for him. I ended up taking a few blows for him and the rest is history. I stuck my neck out for him and thanks to my photos of the event they were able to arrest the guys and Yoongi wasn't seriously hurt. He yelled at me for being reckless and fighting for him when I didnt even know him. After that we kept in touch and I started working for him and he helped fund my photography dream."

Jaw slightly slacked, you found yourself drawn in by Jungkooks short story. "Wow. That's really something, sticking your neck out for a guy you didnt know. You must be really brave."

“Or really stupid.” Jungkook chuckled. “Each one of us that Yoongi keeps close all have our own reasons for following him and will not hesitate to do what he asks. We all met him in a sort of time of need but he got us through. He may seem cold and distant on the outside but he has a big heart and really does enjoy helping people.”

You felt your heart warm and an unknown feeling begin to blossom inside of you as the man in front of you spoke. Every impression you had of Yoongi after you first met was nothing more than pure interest. You were wary about his motives with the contract but the man did go out of his way to make you feel at easy and be comfortable with contract you signed. Hell, he even said he’d not touch you sexually unless you wanted it. How many other men who were shelling out thousands for a girl would allow a no sex clause in their contract? Most men you had gone out with before expected something after they bought you a nice dinner, but not Yoongi. He had been nothing but a gentleman and even came to your rescue when you quit your job, also going out of his way to make sure Caroline didnt hurt you.

As you fell into thought you didnt even hear the door open from behind where you were sitting. It wasn’t until Jungkook stood up and smiled did you break away from your mind. “Welcome back boss, how did the meeting go?”

“Horrible.” At the sound of Yoongi’s voice, you jumped up, hand smoothing out your new dress before turning to face him with a soft smile. To your dismay, he acted like he didn’t even notice you as he took off his suit coat and tossed it lazily across the nearest chair. “The assholes kept trying to back out of the deal and I’m going to be up all night working on new proposal for them.” Tension was evident in his voice.

For a moment you almost felt sad he hadn’t noticed you or his dolled up you were right now, but after listening to his words you felt awful and guilty. The man had a rough day and here you were thinking about a dress! You were never one to put your own selfish needs first, and you never would be. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” You asked, concern lacing your voice and expression.

It was the moment he heard your voice that his head shot up towards you, his eyes widened slightly as he finally got a look at all of Taehyung’s hard work. He let his eyes shamelessly wander down the length of the dress, his eyes lingering in delight at the exposed legs that were on display for him in that moment. He knew you were beautiful but damn! This was something else. You were breathtakingly beautiful in this moment. The only thing that bothered him was the worried expression etched onto your beautiful face.

“No babygirl, it wont be hard, it’s just a pain in the ass.” He smiled softly, walking around the couch towards you, his hands seizing yours in a gentle grasp. “I see you’re all ready for our date. I need to call Taehyung and thank him. You look fuckin’ beautiful.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook flash you a grin before slowly slipping of the room. “We dont have to go out tonight if you’re busy, Yoongi.” You smiled softly, giving his hands a little squeeze.

He shook his head a few times, dismissing your request quickly. “I promised you a date and we will go on a date.” He argued with a grin. “Besides, looking as good as you are, I know you’ll want to go out and flaunt your stuff.” He teased with a small smirk.

“The only person I got this dressed up for was you.” You fired back, taking a small step towards him. A look of confusion appeared on the CEO’s face. “I dont care if the world sees me in this dress, you saw me in it and that’s good enough. I can still wear it while cooking us a nice homemade dinner and I know for a fact I can still wear it while sitting with you on this couch while you work.”

Your words seemed to stun the man in front of you. Though his face was nearly unreadable, his eyes were full of conflict and confusion. “You’d cook for me?” He asked in a small voice.

Your brow shot up for a moment, had no one ever cooked for him? What did he eat? Did he eat or was he all work and play. “Of course. How long has it been since you had a home cooked meal?”

Yoongi fell silent for a moment before pulling back to rub the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. “Not since I lived at home with my parents.”

Unable to stop the shocked expression from forming on your face, you quickly shook your head. “That settles it. We can go out another day, I’m cooking for you tonight so you can stay home and relax while you work. I just need to run to the store and get the things for dinner. I saw market at the end of the block. I can run down there and be back before you know it.” You rambled while reaching for your phone and wallet.

Before you could even grab the items, Yoongi’s hand reached out to grab yours and stop you. “Are you crazy?!” He nearly shouted, pulling your body back towards his. You stumbled a bit and fell into his chest, a shocked expression forming on your face. This was the first time you had heard him speak in a raised voice. “After what happened today at your work and the store, you really think I’d let you go out there unprotected?” He lowered his tone, upon seeing your reaction to his outburst. He released your hands and quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly against his body.

At that moment, you swore he could feel your heartbeat through your chest, your nostrils filling with his scent. The cologne he was wearing nearly making you weak kneed from how good he smelt. “T-Taehyung told you about that, didnt he?”

Yoongi nodded, his arms tightening a bit around you, hugging you deeper into his chest. “Yes. Please, babygirl, dont ever keep things like this from me. I know you didnt want yo stress me out, but hiding these kinds of things from me really make me angry. What if I’m not around, or anyone of my guys, and she shows up? She’s not just a jealous former fling. She’s dangerous! What if something happens to you and I’m not there to help you? I pulled you into this life, at least let me protect you while you’re mine.”

Much to your surprise, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes locking intensely on yours. You could see the stress and worry swimming in his dark eyes and you instantly felt bad about hiding today from him, or wanting too. “I promise, I wont hide anything from you.” Unable to stop yourself, you brought your hands up and placed them on either side of his face. “I just dont want to bother you. I know you’re so busy.”

“I’m a busy man, Y/N, but I’m never too busy for you.” His words sent your heart into a beating rampage! You could almost feel the nervous sweat begin to form on the back of your neck. That strong desire to kill him ranging through you until your body almost ached with desire. What was he doing to you?! How did a man you hardly knew hold such power over you?

“D-Did you want to go with me to the store?” You asked timidly, unable to blink or pull away as he stared back into your eyes, almost feeling as if he was staring deep into your soul.

“Yes…” he muttered softly, the heat from your body setting his on fire. He didnt think it would be this hard to resist you for seven days, but dammit if he wasn’t struggling with the urge to throw you down on the couch and have his wicked way with you. The fact you were willing to cook for him and go out of your way and put yourself in danger for him was playing tricks on his tightly guarded heart! He was sure if he could just destroy this sexual tension between you two that he wouldn’t be this frustrated and you wouldn’t have this effect on him. “I should go change so we can go and get back…”

“Yeah…” you nodded, your voice nothing but a soft breath. Silence fell between you two for a few minutes and  neither one of you made an effort to move. Your eyes were intensely locked onto his and your fingers stroked the soft skin of his face.

After a few more moments of longing gazes and heaving breathing, Yoongi reluctantly pulled back from your grasp, leaving you feeling oddly cold and lonely. “I’ll be quick.” He muttered before turning his back and making his way slowly towards his room.

As you watched him walk away, you felt almost pained. You wanted to be back in his arms again, to finally feel his lips against yours. As he reached the long hallway you couldn’t stop yourself from calling out to him. “Hey,” your voice louder than you had expected, causing him to stop and quickly turn to face you. “The contract didnt mention anything about just kissing, right? Just things below the waist..because I’m okay with kissing if you–…”

The words barely were able to leave your mouth before you were swept back up in Yoongi’s arms, he must have rushed back to you before you could register his movements and your words were cut short but his soft lips pressing eagerly to yours. Your arms instantly wrapped around his neck and his arms were back around your waist, hugging you tightly against his body. Clearly kissing was a common ground and not specified in the contract and you both could agree a few intense kisses would be okay……right?

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.