#Now I'm doing a loop all the way around on this bus again

[erisenyo]

I have been trying to leave the airport for nearly 2 hours. I am going to lose my fucking mind.

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 13 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Confronting Kevin in California should have made Anna feel like she had the advantage, but nothing with him ever went to plan. As soon as Bob encounters Anna's husband for himself, he knows something isn't quite right.

Warnings: Angst, Kevin is a dick, bruises on Anna's arm, adult language, 18+

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

"Did you delete her number yet?" Nat asked as she lifted her helmet and Bob's off of the shelf in the hangar where their gear was stored when they weren't flying. "Or are you trying to prolong the pain like some sort of sadistic artist?"

Bob flinched at her words, because she hit a little too close to home for his liking. It wasn't that he wanted to be missing Anna like this, but he had been writing a lot of poetry about her. He couldn't help himself. He hadn't posted any since the one about his bookshelf, but that didn't mean his computer wasn't full of it.

"I'm not trying to prolong the pain," he told his friend with a grimace. "I don't know what I'm doing."

She shoved his helmet down onto his head and told him, "I know she threw you for a loop, but either delete her number or give her another chance. Don't sit in this annoying gray area. I don't know why you guys insist on doing that shit. I tried for ten years to get Bradley to contact his wife, but he just flounced around in the gray area like an idiot instead. Don't be like him," she said firmly, pointing to where Bradley was looking down at his phone with a dopey smile on his face. He was almost definitely texting his wife if he looked like that.

Bob sighed. "Nat, I don't know if she wants me to give her another chance right now. She said she's going to deal with her husband, but I think she needs time."

Nat rolled her eyes and held her hands up in the air. "Why don't you," she said, waving her fingers like she was performing magic, "talk to her again?!"

Bob pulled his helmet off again, saying, "What would you suggest I say? She already knows I've had feelings for her for months. There's just a point where it becomes too much."

"You could tell her that even though it blew up in your face, she's the best lay of your life." Bob immediately wished he hadn't told her that. "Or that you'll still be around after she figures her shit out. I think the ball is in your court."

He was still blushing furiously and nowhere closer to knowing what he should be doing when they all got called to the tower, but he did smile when Nat snapped at Bradley to put his phone away. She probably needed to get laid more than Bob ever did.

---------------------------

The bus ride from San Diego to Carlsbad shouldn't take an hour and a half when it would take barely forty minutes to drive yourself. Not for the first time, Anna wished she had a car in California. That way she could get to Kevin faster. Kevin. Fucking Kevin. The man who was the reason she didn't have a car in California.

She needed to stay calm. If she could catch him while his guard was down and convince him to just sign the paperwork, she would be golden. But every time she thought about seeing his face, she started to panic. She had seen nothing except kind faces for months. The faces of her friends. The faces of her students. Bob's beautiful blue eyes always seemed to look at her with a smile behind them. Even now, after she met up with him for a little bit at the bookstore, his eyes were kind.

Her hands shook slightly. She needed to deal with Kevin so she could move on and never have to see him again. Then she could work on getting back to the people who didn't look at her like she was worthless. When the bus finally fought its way through traffic and made a stop near the hotel where the conference was being held, she sprinted down the steps and up the block. She had already memorized the map and knew she needed to find the grand ballroom, but when she got to the upscale hotel, she was sweaty and panting for breath, and even the doorman was looking at her skeptically as she slipped inside.

The lobby was crowded enough that she padded her way across the marble floor in her beat up sneakers, blending in well enough with the others. Signs for the National Neurological Physicians Association conference were plastered all over the place, and she had to keep from rolling her eyes. It was laughable that physicians from all over would come here to listen to Kevin blathering on and on about his specialty area of study. But when Anna paused to really think about it for a second, something close to cold fury started flowing through her veins, because she was the one who paid for that for him. She was the reason he was a speaker at this massive conference in the first place.

With renewed purpose, she picked up her pace and turned right past the elevator bank, following the signs that led her toward several people in monogrammed lab coats. The ballroom was in sight, and she was ready to push through the double doors when one of the men in a lab coat popped up in front of her. 

"Not so fast," he said, a forced smile plastered on his face. "You're late for the introductory speakers, and you haven't signed in yet."

"Oh," she said, scrambling to push her bag up on her shoulder. "Right." When he gestured toward a long table with some unclaimed name badges and information booklets, Anna's heart skipped a beat. She took a step closer, praying nobody would ask her for any sort of identification, and reached for the badge that said Dr. Angela Harmon, MD. She clipped it onto her shirt, realizing she was terribly under dressed to even try to pull this off, and then she picked up the booklet with Dr. Harmon's name on it as well. "Is this all I need?" she asked, tapping the name badge and praying this random woman didn't decide to show up right now.

With a nod, the man said, "Please try to find a seat at the back to keep disruption to a minimum. I believe Dr. Webber is still speaking, and you know how excited we all are to have him here."

Anna had to bite down on the inside of her cheek and take a deep breath before she could say, "So excited," through clenched teeth. "I wouldn't dream of being disruptive."

"Of course not," he agreed, finally smiling kindly. "Enjoy the conference, Dr. Harmon."

Carefully and as quietly as she could, Anna entered the ballroom to find hundreds of people sitting in rows of chairs listening to her worthless husband giving a presentation in a three piece suit. 

"But we already know recent attempts to update computational axial tomography are largely like someone trying to reinvent the wheel," he said with a charming smile, and the room hummed with amused laughter like everyone was in on some sort of inside joke. Anna's skin crawled as she carefully took a seat in the last row, praying Kevin hadn't seen her yet. If he was this well known and well regarded in his field, then he didn't need money from her manuscript. He was simply holding onto it to be an ass.

She had to listen to him for twenty more minutes after that. Nineteen too long in her book. His voice sounded light and carefree, and his smile was handsome and unassuming. Frankly he was putting on some sort of persona, and it was nothing like she was used to. But it wasn't until he started on a short presentation that Anna's attention was piqued, because it was then that she saw he was using the laptop that they used to share. The one she used to type up her book.

A soft sound escaped her as she stared longingly at it, wondering if her work was still there. He slammed the computer shut, and she was jolted back to reality as he said, "Once again, thank you all for being here for the next week. We have so many groundbreaking topics to learn about and some of the most renowned research physicians in the country sharing their expertise with us. Let's take a quick break and then dive right into new MRI techniques with Dr. Nunez."

There was an immediate round of applause, and Anna jumped to her feet, heart pounding so hard, it was making her nauseous. When she headed toward his cocky, smiling face, she realized Kevin was already surrounded by colleagues, shaking hands and laughing. And that was when he spotted her. They'd been on the phone just a handful of hours ago, but he looked shocked to see her here. She watched his sharp, gray eyes narrow in on her with a spiteful glare before he smoothed out his features into something neutral. And that's when she came to terms with the fact that he would know she was living in southern California. That's when she knew she needed to make this work.

"Anna," he said with absolutely no emotion as she cut in front of the person he was talking to. "What are you doing here?"

She swallowed hard, imagining Bob and her two friends were with her, urging her on, cheering for her to fix this. "I have something for you to sign," she told him as her voice shook. She took a step closer as she reached into her bag to pull out the folded paperwork and a pen.

"No," he practically growled under his breath, trying not to draw more attention to himself. "Why are you doing this here? I'm a little busy."

Anna wanted to laugh in his face. She was a little busy trying to get on with her stupid life, but that didn't stop him from disrupting her mission every day. "Just sign the divorce papers, Kevin," she demanded, but she sounded like a child even to her own ears. His eyes flashed with so much anger, she could barely breathe with him this close to her. He was built similarly to Bob, which was a frightening realization. Where Kevin always used his size as an intimidation tactic, Bob had never done that to her. She always felt safe around him. Right now she felt very unsafe around Kevin, even though they were literally in the midst of a crowd of people.

"Just sign it," she whispered, trying to push the document into his solid chest. It was unbelievable that at one time, she was in love with this man. It was crazy to think about how he used to tell her he loved her too. "Please, Kevin." He looked so angry right now, and Anna felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up in fear as the people behind her started whispering.

"Who is this woman? That's not Alyssa."

"Did she say divorce? Isn't he married to that other physician? The pregnant one?"

So Alyssa was pregnant. And nobody here even knew about Anna. It was like she didn't even exist. Like she had never existed to her husband. A mortifying little sob bubbled free from the back of her throat, and she looked up at Kevin as he said, "Let's take a little walk."

His hand closed around her bicep, and Anna wanted to yelp as he pulled her up onto the stage, past the podium, where nobody else would be able to hear them. The laptop was right there, and she considered trying to take it, but she'd never make it out of the hotel let alone back to her apartment with it. Instead she tripped along next to him until he had her where he wanted her.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he snarled. "Were you always this stupid? Or have you gotten worse?"

"Come on, Kevin," she pleaded, and he finally released her throbbing arm. "You don't need it. Look how well you're doing. You don't need my book."

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair as if he was trying his hardest to keep his composure. "You think you can come here and embarrass me in front of my peers? Mentioning our marriage like we still have one when you moved away?"

Her fist clenched at her side. "Our marriage didn't fall apart because I left," she hissed under her breath. "It fell apart because of you. And now your mistress is pregnant?"

Kevin sighed. "I understand that you're jealous, Anna. I really do, but I'm not signing anything for you."

She clenched and unclenched her fist. The desire to punch him in the face was so strong as her other hand shook with the papers grasped between her fingers. She was far from jealous, and he knew it. He wanted to get a rise out of her because he felt cornered. "I don't care what these people think about me," she whispered. "But you do. So just sign it."

He stood before her, tall and broad with his jaw set as he said, "There is no way in hell you have what it takes to intimidate me. Now get the fuck out of here, or I will have security remove you from the hotel for disrupting the conference."

She knew she didn't have any other choice. If she somehow got herself in trouble for being here, she didn't have the money to spend on more legal help. So she took a step backwards just as Kevin's hand flew up to pull the name badge from her shirt. "And you're obviously not Dr. Harmon. She has enormous tits, and I fucked her last year in Toronto. Now go." 

Twenty minutes later, Anna was back on the bus heading south toward San Diego, empty handed with tears in her eyes and a bruised arm.

-----------------------------

"What happened to your pretty girlfriend?"

Bob looked up from his phone as he walked up his porch steps after a long run on Monday evening. He hadn't been sleeping well, debating reaching out to Anna again, and he was hoping the run would tire him out. But he should have known Suzanne would have her door open and her game shows blaring at this hour.

"Hi, Suzanne," he said, wishing he could just duck inside his own place without having to chat with her.

"I haven't seen her again in weeks."

Bob sighed and tipped his head back. "She's not my girlfriend. She never was."

"Not with that attitude," his neighbor mused under her breath.

"You have a good night, Suzanne." Bob swatted Sylvester away from his front door before heading inside and up to take a shower. He thought about Anna as he ran his soapy hands along his body. He tried not to, but she was on his mind a lot. When he climbed into bed, his skin felt too hot. He opened the window to let the late fall air in, but it did nothing to help him. He wanted to see her, even just to make sure she was still okay.

He reached for his phone, typed up a text, and then deleted it. "You sound so desperate for her," he groaned, trying again. But again he had to delete it rather than send it. Finally he settled on something simple.

Hey, I've been craving some peanuts from Chippy's. Feel like joining me for a bit tomorrow?

It sounded neutral enough. If she said no, he'd ask Jessica to make sure the ladies were checking in on her. If she said yes, then Bob could see with his own eyes if she was okay. He would also get to see with his own eyes how fucking beautiful she was, but that didn't matter as much, honestly.

He was just slipping into a daydream where Anna's husband divorced her tomorrow and never left the state of New Jersey again when his phone vibrated on his nightstand.

Anna Webber: Peanuts from Chippy's sound heavenly right now. I would love to join you for a little bit.

He exhaled as the cooler air finally met his skin, and he pulled his sheet over himself after he promised to meet her there.

----------------------------

Before she went down to the quad with her lunch bag, Anna adjusted her cardigan. She knew her sleeve was covering his bruised arm, but she felt naked all morning during her lectures anyway. She felt like her skin and the inside of her brain were on full display for everyone. She wondered when Alyssa was due. She wondered if Kevin slept with Dr. Harmon when he was in Toronto last June or last October. Perhaps both. She wondered how someone who was so full of shit could keep coming out ahead of her.

"Anna!"

At least her friends were still faithfully waiting for her at the weird looking tree. And at least Bob was making it a point to let her know she was welcome around him. She could hardly wait to go to Chippy's later. 

"Hi," she said, plopping down in between them on the bench, adjusting her sleeve one more time before pulling her sad sandwich out. "What's new in the world of science and mathematics?"

Almost immediately, she had a container of veggies and a homemade ranch dip in her hand while her friend told her about a fascinating math conference she wanted to go to next year in Philadelphia. Apparently the dates were just announced, and you had to be someone important to even get an invitation. Anna loved that her friend already knew she was going to go, but it made her dwell on Kevin and his conference which was still going on in Carlsbad.

"Oh!" Jessica said as she poured some potato chips on her already delectable looking sandwich. "Jake and I are going to Cabo next month! A much needed break after the term ends."

"I love that for you," Anna told her, feeling jealous in spite of herself. And that made her feel even sadder. She almost winced when her other friend wrapped her arm around her, inadvertently mashing her hand against the bruise from Kevin.

"Don't worry. Bradley and I aren't going anywhere for term break. I wanted to, but his favorite Grateful Dead cover band is playing right here in San Diego on New Year's Eve, and he absolutely can't miss it. That would be a crime." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm which made Anna laugh. "How's your week going?" she asked cautiously. 

Anna wanted to tell them all about going to the conference at the hotel. She wanted to tell them that she saw Kevin and left with less than nothing. She would tell them, but not right now when she only had a little bit of time before she had to give her Classics lecture. She didn't want to run the risk of arriving to the lecture hall with tears in her eyes. 

Instead she softly said, "I'm going to see Bob later. Just a quick visit to Chippy's for some peanuts."

Jessica was instantly vibrating with excitement. "That's great. I think you and he will have fun!"

"We will," Anna confirmed. Even though it was a little awkward, she'd had a nice time with him at the bookstore. She always did. Because he was kind and sweet and literally the opposite of everything that Kevin turned out to be. She just wished there was some reality in which she could feel his arms around her again. "We will."

The end of lunch came way more quickly than she wanted it to, and Anna found herself mentally regrouping to try to find another way to get her manuscript. She taught her last two lectures and graded a handful of essays, counting down the minutes until she could see Bob again. His blue eyes would be soft when he looked at her, and his words would be enough to make her feel better even if they only engaged in some small talk.

When she only had thirty minutes until she was supposed to meet him, she printed off sixty copies of the quiz she would need for tomorrow afternoon. Anna locked her office door behind her as she headed down to the teacher's lounge to retrieve the quizzes before someone moved them, never to be seen again. She learned her lesson after last time that if you didn't grab them right away, there was a good chance they'd end up in the trash. Then she would drop them off before going to meet Bob.

----------------------------

Since he was running early, Bob decided to just head to Anna's office and meet her there. He'd been so antsy to see her, he showered and dressed in his favorite jeans and tee shirt in record time after work. Even though he'd only been in this one academic building one time, he remembered exactly how to get to her office. Having an outstanding sense of direction just came with the territory for a WSO, but her hallway also smelled like fresh baked bread.

When he rounded the last corner, Bob skidded to a halt and ducked back behind the wall. There was a man about his age who was vigorously jiggling Anna's doorknob. "Anna. Open the door so we can talk," he said calmly even as he pushed his fingers through his hair in exasperation. Bob didn't know who he was, but he had a bad feeling, and that's when the man turned his head and spotted him.

Bob squared his shoulders to try to match the other man's height as he rounded the corner completely and asked, "Are you looking for Dr. Webber?"

The other man appraised him with cool gray eyes and smirked. "Let me guess. You're sleeping with her?"

Bob's heart lurched into his stomach as the color drained from his face. He knew this had to be Kevin. He knew it without confirmation, and now he didn't know how the hell he was supposed to respond. So he simply kept his mouth shut while the other man took a step in his direction.

"She really likes to act so high and mighty. Very hypocritical in this scenario," he muttered, making Bob's skin crawl. "I can't believe her."

Bob swallowed hard, trying to figure out why Anna agreed to go to Chippy's today if she knew Kevin was in San Diego. All he knew about was what she'd told him when she came to his house. Bob didn't think he should divulge too much to this man, so he simply asked, "What do you want from her?"

The answer was swift and felt like a punch to the gut. "She's my wife, and she's coming back to New Jersey with me where I can keep track of her. She doesn't belong here, and she needs to stop lying. So why don't you tell me what you want from her?"

His nostrils flared as his fingers curled into fists, and Bob had to take a few deep breaths before he said, "I just wanted to make sure she's okay."

Kevin crossed his arms over his chest and said, "She's nothing you need to be concerned about."

The uneasy feeling that started to fill him up spread through his whole body now, and Bob took a step backwards. Maybe Anna was already at Chippy's. Maybe she didn't know Kevin was here at all. He backtracked his way through the building as he started to panic. What if she did know he was here? What if she had played Bob and everyone else the whole time?

He would check for her at Chippy's. He made it all the way across the quad to a weird looking tree that was growing sideways when he froze again. It just didn't make sense. Anna said she hated Kevin and never wanted to go back to New Jersey, and Bob had no reason to believe someone else over her.

He started calling her phone, torn as to which direction he should head. Back up to her office? To Chippy's where they were supposed to meet up? She didn't answer. He started toward the bar, covering the few blocks at a brisk pace as he tried to call her again. He walked back and forth across that sticky floor through the clusters of students enjoying an after class drink before he was satisfied that she wasn't there. 

"Damn it, Anna. Answer your phone," he muttered as he ran back to her building and up to her office. The building was virtually empty at this hour, and now there was nobody in the hallway at all. He knocked on her door and called out her name, but he was met with silence. The kind of silence that just didn't feel right.

He felt like he was going crazy, running in circles both metaphorically and physically for this woman, and when he finally reached his truck, he had to wipe the sweat from his brow. Her apartment wasn't far from campus, and he didn't know where else to even look at this point. When he got there, he parked and tried to call her one more time before someone else who lived in the building simply held the door open for him.

"Thanks," he muttered, heading for the stairwell and taking the steps two at a time until he reached Anna's floor. And then her apartment. What he heard coming from inside made him want to rip the door from the hinges.

--------------------------

I hate Kevin. Hate. Him. I'm sorry, but he's still going to get worse. Just remember that Bob is a sweet cinnamon bun. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 14

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[lowkeyrobin]

Hello !

could I request a pheobe Spengler x reader ?

(romantic)

I don’t see anybody here that writes for her .

You can like do anything , like a oneshot or hc, idm ! c:

ty! xoxo.

oo yeah sure!! ; I did a little soulmate au on this one cause I love writing them haha ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

PHOEBE SPENGLER ; spotify

summary/prompt ; soulmates can share songs telepathically

warnings ; language

word count ; 1.1k

masterlist

Phoebe bites back a laugh, a smile tugging at her lips as she sits at her desk. She clasps a hand over her mouth, staring down at the Geometry test in front of her.

"Is something funny, Ms. Spengler?" The teacher asks, having noticed her very obvious reaction.

"No, no, sorry" She quickly replies, composing herself as music plays in her head.

"There is something wrong with you, soulmate. I'm taking a test! I can't focus to Sabrina Carpenter" She thinks, wishing you could hear her. She telepathically sends a song she knows back just for moments like this, subtly rolling her eyes.

Why she even knew Fuck You by Lily Allen was a conversation for another time, but now it blares in your brain, distracting you from your work. You roll your eyes, as you'd deserved this, assuming your soulmate was probably trying to focus on their work.

"Fine, you don't like Nonsense? Take Espresso on repeat" You think, switching up the track halfway through.

Phoebe quietly exhales, switching your song to Better by Khalid, wanting to communicate that this was much better and she could actually focus now. She looks back down at her test, quickly jotting down the pythagorean theorem on her paper.

You take this as your well-deserved apology and smile, kind of wishing she picked a better song. You're able to turn the volume down, and she luckily turns it off so you can focus on whatever you were doing. You didn't ask her to do it, but it was probably the best idea to do so.

You tune into her brain again near the end of the period, where Espresso is still being played on loop. You chuckle.

"She must like it"

You decide to play a song, wanting to be a little detective and figure out who you've been playing around with for six years now. You had a will and a way, who was to say you were cheating love?

What's Your Name by Lynyrd Skynyrd caught Phoebe off guard by a long shot. She realizes that maybe you're asking her a question or are maybe trying to taunt her.

She plays you What's My Name? by Rihanna, trying to show that she caught onto the title but was a bit confused.

You play Yeah! in reply, happy she even answered in the first place. She nods, playing Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers.

It takes you a moment but you're able to piece together what her name was, definitely not Waiting Room, but Phoebe. Maybe Bridgers, probably not however.

You play My Name Is... then after about a minute, switch to a song with the same name as you, Y/n.

She plays Get It Sexyy, trying to joke around with you after the big reveal of your name. You smile and giggle as you lean against the bus window. Tyler The Creator's See You Again plays for her as the busses take you home.

You leave her with an accomplished smile to match yours. She'd honestly been too shy to try and ask your name all these years, so now she felt a little proud of you for asking for hers.

"My soulmates name is Y/n. I don't even know a Y/n"

"You don't know anyone"

Podcast and Phoebe sit in Ray's Occult Books, lounging on one of the couches as they talk. Ray is polishing jewelry under the counter, half way listening to their conversation.

"Who do you know that's named Y/n?"

"Y/n Riggs?"

"A funny Y/n," Phoebe clarifies, not wanting to imagine that her soulmate was some asshole. She knew it was just someone with the same name as you. "They're a walking Spotify playlist, Y/n Riggs doesn't have shit for a music taste"

"Y/n L/n?" Podcast asks, "That's the only other Y/n I know of"

"I don't know them" Phoebe sighs

Podcast shrugs, "I can introduce you to them? I have like, three classes with them"

Phoebe nods with a little smile, picking up a book and opening it to hide her excited grin.

"Remind me on Monday"

While you sit in class, Phoebe plays you Fainted Love by Conan Gray, almost like she knew you were just working on an essay in silence. Podcast, who sits next to you in that class, waves to Phoebe as she awkwardly walks into the class.

He'd asked the teacher if she could come down, seeing as she had a study hall at this time, and the class was gifted a free period / study hall for the day.

You didn't know Phoebe at all, well, kind of. She was a Ghostbuster which you'd seen on TV here and there, but you didn't really know her that well. She sits behind Podcast in the empty desk, where he turns around to talk to her for the next half hour.

You hear the two whispering but pay no mind, enjoying the Conan Gray playing in your head. You doodle on the side of your paper the title of the song, giving it a cool little font to fit the vibe of the song, which the curly haired girl sees.

You see in your head, or invision, that Phoebe didn't have any music playing at the moment, and decided to play her a song that you liked. Pink Floyd's Breathe plays in her mind on a low volume, and she can't help but direct her gaze towards you as Podcast speaks to her.

Luckily, just about everyone else in the class was talking loud enough that his soft-spoken voice couldn't be heard, but he made sure to be careful next to you.

Clairo's Hello? plays in your head, catching your attention. You sit up straight in contrast to your half-slumped position before and furrow your eyebrows.

You look over at Podcast and Phoebe, already looking at you. You quickly change Phoebe's song to Is It Really You? by Loathe, and she lightly smiles, the corners of her lips slowly turning upwards.

You awkwardly smile and wave at her as she returns the wave while Podcast next to her smiles widely, wanting to cheer loudly, but obviously doesn't in the small classroom. You can see the look of adoration in her eyes as she looks at you, her eyes glimmering like she fell in love at first sight.

A song plays in both of your heads, not instructed by either of you, Something New by Tokio Hotel.

Podcast giggles, tapping Phoebe's desk twice. "I'm gonna run to the cafeteria and get a drink, have fun, lovebirds"

As he walks away, Phoebe speaks. "I'm Phoebe, I think I'm your soulmate"

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you, soulmate"

[fruitgoat]

Mapping/Routing the CTA

I'm still blaming @copperbadge for all of this.

As I am taking this trip in my mind, I have chosen to ignore a lot of the challenges the physical world brings.  Like road construction, neighborhood block parties, day of the week, trains that only stop there once a day in the opposite direction, buses that only run a few hours a day, the actual passage of time, etc.  This trip should not be attempted in the Real World – every route and stop apparently still exists, but you might need to wait hours if not days for the correct bus/train.  For the Extra Bonus Points of LOLs and Nostalgia I have included sections of the Metra (Milwaukee Districts North and West and South Shore Electric), Big Bus Tours, and the Water Taxi.

Again, do NOT try this route in Real Time.  Yet.  My ADHD brain may or may not get back to you in a few days on how long it would actually take just so we can all laugh at the idea of getting lost and being forced to sneak around and spend the night in a mattress store at the Golf Mill Shopping Center or whatever.  (Actually, that’s a hell of a meetcute.  I… I might need to go write something now….)

Starting at Linden.

Ride Purple Line to Howard.  Transfer to Yellow Line.

Ride Yellow Line to Dempster-Skokie. (Resist the muscle memory to catch the bus all the way to Deerfield. I really hated that commute.)

Bus to Morton Grove Metra.

Ride (MN) Metra to Mayfair.

Walk to Blue Line (Montrose).  Ride Blue Line to O’Hare.

Stretch legs and bathroom break.  Refill water bottle.  Refuel if needed.

Ride Blue Line back to Harlem. Bus to Fullerton.

Walk around my old neighborhood.  (I think the walk to Caputo’s is worth it, but maybe don’t buy any fresh squid if you’re getting back on the train.)

Ride (MW) Metra from Mont Clare to Grand/Cicero.

Bus to Blue Line (Montrose).  Ride Blue Line to Forest Park.

Bus to Green Line (Harlem/Lake).  Ride Green Line to Cottage Grove.  (I’m stopping along the way to visit family, get something to eat, and maybe nap while charging my electronics.)

Bus to Green Line (Ashland/63rd).  Ride Green Line to Garfield.

Walk to Red Line (Garfield).  Ride Red Line to Dan Ryan.  Hang Around Like An Idiot.  Ride Red Line to Lake.

Transfer to Pink Line.  Ride Pink Line to Cermak/54th, then back to Cicero.

Bus to Midway.  (Unhydrate.  Rehydrate.)  Ride Orange Line to Halsted.  Walk to River.  Or I think there’s a bus that’s just not showing up at the moment.

Water Taxi to West Loop.

Walk to Willis Tower.  (Bonus point for each instance of calling it Sears Tower.) Tour Bus to Museum Campus.

Metra Electric back to Millennium Park Station.

Walk to Washington/Wabash.  Ride Brown Line to Kimball.

Ride Brown Line back to State/Lake.  (Stop at Fullerton if it’s morning.  Walk to Orange and order the pancake flight and watch them fresh squeeze your citrus juice.  Walk to Molly’s if you like cupcakes.  Double Extra Bonus points if you pointedly reminisce about the Meatloaf Bakery when you pass where it was.  Crash a wedding at my old apartment building if you’re really bored. I really miss my neighborhood at the moment.)

Transfer to Red Line.  Ride Red Line to Howard.  (I’m going to stop at Granville for the Memories.  This was my first address in Chicago – even if I technically wasn’t supposed to receive mail because I wasn’t on the lease.)

[brbsoulnomming]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 20

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | AO3

-----

Robin and Steve shower together the next morning.

And that's - fine, it's fine.

He was right about Steve being a resourceful guy, it seems, because he can faintly hear the sound of smacking and giggling and an oh my God before he finishes getting dressed and books it out of Steve's bedroom. He doesn't have to feel guilty about preventing them from their celebratory activities anymore, at least, and he just -

He just won't think about it.

It doesn't matter what he wants, or what he thinks he might be able to have. It matters that he wants to be in this party, that he wants to keep Steve and Robin, and you can't have two romantic soulmates, it's just not -

"What?" he mutters viciously to himself. "It's just not done? When have you ever cared about that?"

When it comes to this, apparently. Maybe you can have two romantic soulmates, maybe Steve wouldn't mind, but Eddie, well. Eddie can't, and there's too many other things he needs to deal with right now to be able to focus on figuring out what the gut feeling that it'd be a disaster really means.

He gets coffee started for them instead, makes himself a bowl of oatmeal, and his knee is only bouncing in agitation a little when Steve and Robin come down to the kitchen.

Steve notices it immediately, because of course he does. "You worried about telling your uncle?"

Eddie grimaces. "Worried about a lot of things right now, man, it's getting to be kind of a list."

Steve tips his head. "Eh, fair."

Robin hums as she pours herself a cup of coffee. "Want to talk about it?"

He opens his mouth to immediately decline, then pauses, actually considering that. No way in hell is he going to try to process anything related to their soulmate arrangement with them, but… everything else? Yeah, he could actually see that.

"Not right now," he says finally. "I'm gonna have enough talking to do with Uncle Wayne later."

They don't push him. Instead, they eat breakfast together, with Robin's foot pressed up against his and Steve's hand on his knee. He kind of wants to say something about it, but he doesn't know whether what comes out of his mouth will be a thank you or a joke to try to brush it off, and he's honestly not sure he wants to draw attention to it.

Eddie's always been all easy, casual physical contact, hands gripping shoulders and arms slung around his friends and playful shoves or nudges, but this is -

This isn't loud and boisterous and purposefully over the top, this is quiet and sincere and done almost on instinct.

It's strange, how different it feels.

And how much it works to calm him down, despite both of them being the source of one of his swirls of chaotic thoughts.

After breakfast, Robin hugs him goodbye and they head out. Steve's going to pick Dustin up, drop Robin off at the high school, and then hopefully come back with Uncle Wayne. The rest of the hoard is making themselves scarce today, so Eddie doesn't have an audience for seeing his uncle again.

He'd been a little surprised that there wasn't an argument about looping his uncle in, but Nancy had pointed out that if they didn't tell him something soon, his insistence on putting up missing person fliers was likely to put some kind of pressure on the police to pursue Eddie's case more.

Eddie'd been all for not having a gaggle of teenagers around for this before, but now that he's alone, just waiting - look, he might not want an audience when he has to ask his uncle if he hates him now, but he kind of wants one in the leading up to it so he doesn't have to keep thinking about all the different possible ways this is going to go.

Logically, he knows that Uncle Wayne isn't going to hate him. He stopped doubting the love his uncle had for him a long time ago. Jesus knows Eddie's tested him in so many ways since then, but it's never been this.

It's never been a dead girl in their living room, and Eddie no where to be found.

Even if he doesn't think Eddie did it - Eddie still just left, just left him to deal with all of that, and then he went back and helped destroy their home a little more, made sure it was really uninhabitable.

He wouldn't blame his uncle for having some misgivings about everything, about him.

Eddie's not sure how long he's been sitting there when he hears the unmistakable sound of his uncle's truck. It's a sound he's heard almost every day since he was twelve, usually when he was blearily shoving cereal into his mouth or burrowing deeper in his blankets to steal just a little bit more sleep. It's always been accompanied by the crunch of gravel, first under the tires and then from Uncle Wayne's footsteps, and hearing it pull smoothly into the Harrington driveway now feels almost as otherworldly as that first trip into the Upside Down.

He's been in a little bit of a bubble, here. He doesn't feel like he's being overly dramatic when he thinks that the last time he heard his uncle's truck, he was a different person than he is now, and those two lives colliding is kind of a head trip.

His hands are trembling a little, and he stands up partly just for something to do, something other than sit there.

What if this is it? What if this is finally the thing that's too much, what if Eddie finally went too far, after all these years? There's a lot of things that he knows his uncle has forgiven him for, but a murder charge is asking an awful lot, what if he -

His uncle comes into view.

Steve is saying something, and there's some kind of response from Dustin, but Eddie can't hear any of it.

"Hi Uncle Wayne," he manages to get out.

Uncle Wayne drops the boxes he'd been carrying. They must have been empty, because there's barely a sound as they hit the floor, but Eddie doesn't really care, because his uncle is striding across the room in long, purposeful steps. He's there between one breath and the next, strong arms wrapped around Eddie as he pulls him into the kind of hug he hasn't done since Eddie got too tall to be tucked in under his chin.

His uncle's breath hitches, and it hits him that he's crying, and oh, fuck, that does Eddie in completely. He clings to him, trying his best to stifle his own sobs, hearing them come out in little hiccuping gasps anyway.

"We'll, uh, just go start loading things," he hears Steve say, and he registers the sound of footsteps walking away and the garage door opening and closing, but it just makes him hold onto his uncle tighter.

Somehow, they find their way to the couch, and then Eddie does have to pull away. He's healing up nicely, but there isn't a good angle for him to stay in his uncle's hold for much longer without something hurting.

Uncle Wayne notices it, of course, and his eyes scan over Eddie as they sit down. Eddie watches him register the dark sweats, the gray sweatshirt - neither of which are his, obviously - then move back up to his face.

"Are you hurt?" Uncle Wayne asks.

"I'm healing up," Eddie replies. "It, uh. It's kind of a long story. And a pretty unbelievable one."

Uncle Wayne raises his eyebrows. "Son, they've been trying to tell me that you hurt that girl and those other kids. No matter what you have to tell me, it's never going to be more unbelievable than that."

Tears sting at Eddie's eyes again, and he has to look down to try to get himself under control enough that he can actually talk.

Then he tells him.

Not everything - there's a lot of stuff that happened before spring break that he still isn't super clear on, and some things that aren't his to tell, but he gets out the basics. Hawkins Lab doing shady things, how they've been behind the strange deaths and the mall burning down, the existence of the Upside Down, the real story behind the Creels, that it was Henry Creel behind the deaths. The NDAs that the party had to sign, how everything's been covered up. How the others found him hiding, looked after him, looped him into everything. Nancy's vision, their plan to stop it, how it only half worked. Steve getting injured, Steve getting the others to stand up for him at the town hall meeting, Steve carrying him out of the Upside Down, Steve having him stay here to recover and stay hidden - so much of Steve that he has to clamp his mouth closed when he catches himself, cheeks flushed.

Uncle Wayne looks at him for a long moment. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

Eddie groans. There's no way his uncle doesn't already know, he clearly just wants to make Eddie say it. "Steve's my soulmate. Platonic soulmate," he adds quickly. "Steve's got two, and he's already found his romantic soulmate."

Uncle Wayne's brows draw down a little, like he's not sure if he should be concerned about that or not.

"It's okay," Eddie says without thinking, then has a brief moment of panic before he realizes it's not a lie. "It's okay," he says again. "I, uh. It's been good here. You know, apart from all the stitches and hiding from the police and not knowing if you were okay."

Uncle Wayne huffs out a disbelieving little laugh. "Oh, apart from that, huh?"

"Sorry about the trailer," Eddie says, very quietly.

"Oh, son," Uncle Wayne murmurs gruffly, reaching out to grip his shoulder and give him a gentle shake. "Now that I know you're okay, there's not a single thing in there that I can't afford to be without, all right?"

Eddie nods, afraid he'll sound too choked up if he says anything.

"I'm glad you're doing good here," Uncle Wayne says. "The fuss has died down, with the earthquake and all, but that Carver kid's got a small handful of diehards who're looking to stir up trouble."

Eddie grimaces. "Do me a favor and don't tell Steve that?"

His uncle raises one brow. "You trying to hide stuff from your soulmate?"

"It's not that I want to, it's just… Steve's protective. He's already saying that he won't claim his soulmate rights if I get found out before they work out a plan, that he'll go with me to prove I'm telling the truth."

Uncle Wayne frowns. "And you don't want him to?"

Eddie huffs out a laugh, dry and humorless. "I don't think the truth is going to matter to them much if they don't have someone else ready to blame them on, and I don't want Steve to go through that for nothing."

His uncle gives a thoughtful little hum. "You ask me, seems like Steve doesn't think it'd be for nothing."

Ugh, he should have known his uncle would be on Steve's side. He can't honestly say he minds, considering their side is the side that wants to get Eddie's name cleared, but still. "Yeah, well, like I said, Steve's just protective."

"Just protective." Uncle Wayne raises one eyebrow. "You gonna look me in the eye and tell me it ain't because that boy cares about you?"

Eddie can feel himself flushing almost immediately. Well, yeah. It's obvious Steve cares about him. They haven't dropped any kind of words about it yet - he doesn't think either of them are ready to actually say it, or to hear it - but Steve's actions kind of speak for themselves, and Eddie hopes that his own actions have done the same.

"No," Eddie admits. "I'm not going to tell you that."

He fiddles with the straps on his wrist brace, and his uncle - always able to figure out when there's something more going on - waits patiently.

"It's not my story to tell," Eddie says finally. "But Steve has been through a lot. He says it'd be fine, and I know he believes that, but - he also sat there with a straight face and told me he knows how to take a beating and keep going, and he'd rather it be him than any of us."

Surprise colors Uncle Wayne's expression for a moment, and then something in his eyes goes tight. Eddie recognizes that look. It's something like the one he'd gotten when he found out something that happened to Eddie - usually something that his dad taught him, or the handful of times his mom had gotten so drunk he'd had to watch over her in the bathroom, or the times he'd almost had a deal go bad. The things that his uncle's always said no kid should have to go through.

"This has been happening since 83," Eddie admits quietly. "They've all been dealing with this alone."

His uncle twists to look at the garage door for a long moment before turning back. "You call me if you get found," he says, more serious than Eddie's ever seen him. "You hear me? I'll be right there with the both of you."

Eddie swallows roughly, nodding.

"Promise me," Uncle Wayne insists. "No matter what it is, no matter what kind of thing happens - you call me. None of you are alone."

It takes Eddie a moment to get his voice back, but then he manages to get out, "I promise."

He'll have to talk it over with the others, of course, but he's pretty sure Steve and Robin are already on board, and he's got confidence that the three of them can convince the rest of the party.

Which is, admittedly, a little bit of a trip - that he's part of a monster hunting group now, that when he thinks about deciding as a party it's real. Ridiculously, that gets a little bit of a smile tugging at his lips.

Uncle Wayne looks closely at him. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"We're not alone anymore, either," he says, hears it come out almost shy, and makes a face at himself. "Just, uh. They've kind of decided I belong to them, and I'm not going to be the one to tell Nancy Wheeler or Erica Sinclair no, so."

"Good," his uncle says decisively, as if that's that, which -

Well.

Eddie guesses it is.

Uncle Wayne claps his hands on his knees, pushes himself up. "Let's see how those two have managed to get along."

He ambles over to the garage door, sticks his head out and calls for Steve to get on back in here.

There must be some kind of argument - Eddie can't hear it, but he's assuming there is, because somehow Steve manages to get Dustin to stay in the garage while he comes in alone.

Eddie stays where he is on the couch, trying to tell himself that there's no reason to be nervous. Steve'd talked to his uncle before, had managed to convince him to come to his house, but - that'd been before Uncle Wayne knew everything, knew they were soulmates.

It doesn't help that Steve's clearly a little nervous when he comes back in, too - or maybe he's picking up on Eddie's own nerves.

"So," Uncle Wayne says, looking Steve up and down. "You the one my nephew was always talking with?"

Eddie watches Steve's throat work as he swallows.

"Yes, sir," Steve says. And then he gets this look in his eyes - one that Eddie recognizes, that says he's terrified of what he's about to do but he's doing it anyway. "I'm the other little jackass with no impulse control."

Eddie lets out a squawk, the sound of which is drowned out by his uncle straight up guffawing, loud wheezing laughs that break the tension in the air.

Steve looks far too pleased with himself, even though his smile is this little tentative thing, so Eddie kicks out his foot to nudge Steve's ankle with his toes.

"I told you not to try to charm my uncle!" he protests.

"Charm me, huh?" Uncle Wanye asks, raising his eyebrows at Steve, who looks a little sheepish.

Uncle Wayne shakes his head. "Boy, you brought my kid back to me, and from what Eddie says, you've been keeping him safe here. There's nothing else you could do that'd top that, not as long as you keep treating him well."

Steve's quiet for a moment, and Eddie's pretty sure he wants to protest that it wasn't just him, but then he just nods.

"I'll take care of him. I promise," Steve says, holding out his hand.

Uncle Wayne reaches out to take it, giving it a firm shake before he pulls Steve into a hug.

Eddie can't see his uncle's face, but Steve looks at him all wide eyed and stiff, and Eddie just grins at him, shrugging.

He's already gearing up to tease him, but - then Steve takes a deep, shuddering breath, and hugs Uncle Wayne back, arms winding around him and holding on tight, and something about the sight of it makes Eddie avert his eyes.

Steve's parents haven't been home this whole time. Eddie hasn't asked - no one's mentioned it, like everyone's used to them being gone, and he kind of figures if Steve had anything more to say other than what he already had, other than what's obvious, he would.

But now he makes a note to mention it to his uncle, later. Now he thinks that as much as he's been adopted into this party - maybe his soulmate needs to be folded into Eddie's own little family of two.

They don't talk about it when they separate. Uncle Wayne just slaps Steve on the back, tells him to go finish up loading the truck, and he'll be out in a minute.

But when his uncle turns back to him, there's a look in his eye that tells him maybe Eddie won't have to mention anything at all.

"Maybe you could stay for dinner?" Eddie finds himself asking.

Uncle Wayne clears his throat, the way he does when he's feeling a little emotional about something. "Your boy already asked me, but it's better if I don't stay long. I don't want anyone to get to wondering what I'm doing lingering here."

It's a good point, Eddie knows it is, but he feels like he's fifteen and pissy again. "I hate this," he mutters. "I hate you being at that school."

Uncle Wayne cracks a grin. "Oh, I won't be. I've only been there trying to find a trace of you. Now that I know you're safe? Our insurance will be putting me up in the best hotel room Hawkins has. I knew paying the extra for earthquake coverage would come in handy."

And fuck if that doesn't make him feel worlds better.

"I'll leave the number with your friends," Uncle Wayne promises.

Eddie stands to hug him again, burying his face in his neck and holding on as tight as he can, like he never wants to let go.

Eventually, though, they have to pull away, and his uncle heads out into the garage.

There's a few beats of silence, as Eddie pulls in one ragged breath after another, trying to get himself back under control.

Then the garage door opens again, and Steve comes back in.

"Everything okay?" Eddie asks, unable to stop himself from feeling a little jittery again.

"Fine, Dustin went back to the school with Wayne. I'll follow them in a bit to pick up him and Robin, I just, uh. Wanted to check on you," Steve says, making a little face at himself. "How did it go?"

Eddie can't help but be a little touched. "It went good. He believed me."

Steve nods. "Like you thought he would?"

Eddie - can't actually agree to that, he realizes. He's not confident enough that it would be the truth.

When he stays silent, Steve seems to get it.

"Will you tell me?" Steve asks, which - apparently is now their code for I'm not going to ask directly so you don't have to lie but I'll listen if you want.

Or at least, Eddie's going to assume it is, since he said it to Steve first.

"I just-" Eddie starts, then pauses to take a deep breath. "I know I'm a lot. There's a lot that my uncle's had to put up with, cause of me. I pushed him a lot the first year I moved in with him, trying to figure out what would be too much for him, but it never was. I guess I wondered if maybe this would be it."

"But it wasn't?" Steve asks.

Eddie shakes his head. "No. It wasn't."

Steve just looks at him for a moment, like he's considering something. Then, "You're not too much, Eds."

Fuck.

"Don't you start, man," Eddie warns teasingly.

Steve huffs out a laugh. "All right, all right. Let's get you upstairs before I head out."

He thinks about protesting, but really, he's kind of grateful to be able to lean on Steve a little. Eddie doesn't want to admit to overdoing it, but he's pretty sure he overdid it.

"Oh, hey, I got something for you," Steve says once they're in the bedroom.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. "But you already got me my uncle," he teases. "You keep going like this and I'll get spoiled."

Steve rolls his eyes, but Eddie kind of means it. The longer he stays with Steve and Robin, the more he just. Kind of never wants to leave - or if he does, he wants Steve and Robin to move with him, he wants to stay in the same room and sleep in the same bed and have their toothbrushes in the same holder and his Yoohoo next to Steve's Gatorade and Robin's grape soda in the fridge.

It's stupidly domestic, which means Eddie's mostly trying to ignore it and just enjoy it while he has it.

Still, Steve's ears are a little bit pink, which gets him off that train of thought and makes him perk up. "Wait, seriously? When did you even have time to get me anything?"

"I got it a long time ago." Steve heads over to his desk, pulling open a drawer and rummaging around in it. Then he holds out a wooden box, pressing it into his hands. "Wanted to give it to you while we're alone."

Sure enough, it looks old. The wood is worn and a little dusty, and the hinges squeak a little as he opens it. It opens almost like a book, unfolding in a way that would make it easy to prop up on display - and when he gets a better look at it, it clearly is meant to display. There's a glass lining set in each half of the box, like two picture frames, except they hold a small collection of preserved butterflies.

It's, well. It's pretty fucking cool, and Eddie looks up at Steve, speechless.

Steve sits on the bed, rolling his pant leg up to the knee. He gestures at it, and Eddie can just make out Butterflies are so annoying, I hate them.

What.

That's.

Eddie just keeps looking at him, afraid that if he says anything it's going to be to tell Steve that god, he loves him.

He loves him.

"Oh," he manages to get out, shaky and breathless.

"Yeah," Steve says. "That was back when my dad still gave me advice sometimes and I gave a shit about following it. He said you should always have gifts ready for your soulmate, so they know you're thinking of them. Pretty sure he meant like diamonds and flowers and shit to bring back after you've been gone, but, you know. I figured this would be the kind of thing you like."

"You figured right. Fourteen year old me would have gone nuts over this," Eddie says, running his fingers over the glass. "Thank you, Steve. This, uh. Shit, this really means a lot."

Steve smiles at him, all pleased and fond, and the silence rests nice and comfy between them for a moment.

Then Steve pulls in a breath and lets it out, and Eddie's pretty sure he recognizes that particular blend of uncertainty and determination, and oh.

Oh no.

"Steve," he whispers. It comes out a little desperate, half a warning and half a plea.

He's not sure what he means by it. He's not even sure he knows what Steve's going to say - it could be a million things, honestly, just because Eddie is painfully aware that he can't keep convincing himself that their bond is at all platonic, at least on his end, doesn't mean that Steve's thinking the same thing.

Eddie just knows that he can't. He's not ready for this, he's not ready for any of it.

Steve seems to get something out of Eddie just saying his name, though, because he swallows, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Can we just think about it?"

Eddie finds himself nodding before he really realizes. "Yeah," he agrees. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay," Steve repeats.

Steve heads out to go get Dustin and Robin after that, and Eddie gets settled on the bed, taking another dose of meds and staring at the little preserved butterflies.

Think about it.

Fuck, everything has just been so much these last few weeks, and Eddie'd really, really like it to just… not. He's exhausted, all wrung out and hollow, and he just wants to close his eyes and not think about anything, but.

He said he would, and he wasn't lying when he said it, so he guesses he has to.

It's not that he can't share Steve with Robin, not by a long shot. He's well aware that it's Robin sharing Steve with him - and he knows that even if it were the other way around, even if Steve and Robin were platonic soulmates and Steve and Eddie were romantic, it would still be Robin sharing Steve with him. Steve and Robin have something that goes deeper than anything, something that Eddie couldn't touch even if he wanted, and he… he kind of likes that. The part of Steve that is Robin is just what makes him Steve, and Eddie's pretty on board with that.

It's just that he knows himself. He knows that if he kisses Steve - if it starts being something they do, if they let themselves go there - he's going to want to be the only one that Steve kisses.

It's not fair, not to anyone, but it is what it is. He's not sure he can change that part of himself, not even for Steve. So it's just better if they don't go there.

Now he just has to figure out how he's going to tell that to Steve, without any of it coming out as a lie.

Up next: the platonic/romantic lines get even more blurry, and a much less pleasant house call

-----

Part 21

Tag list (always happy to add more!): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

🌹🌹🌹🌹 for whenever needed :)

I wrote this in a haze last night when I should have been sleeping and I'm not sure if I'll ever expand it into a proper fic, so I'm sticking it here. Part of it is under the cut because it's a) long and b) is about Jamie's Amsterdam story

Roy makes it about a week before it all comes spilling out. They've been playing shit, 'cause Lasso may have rediscovered Total Football but he sure as shit hasn't rediscovered how to coach it, and if he's being perfectly fucking honest neither has Roy. Or maybe he would, if fucking when I was fourteen... didn't keep playing on loop in his head. He picks Jamie up from his front door every day and he's grinning, bouncing around like the chipper twat he is, twenty-five and whole, and all Roy can think about is the twiggy kid he had been, hair stuck up in every direction and mud smeared on his shins. He'd dug up pictures, is the thing, that first night back — got home aching and more exhausted than he'd been after a full ninety minutes back in his player days, and instead of going to sleep he'd dug around through the depths of City's website, through a mountain of those bullshit player profiles he refused to do but Jamie loved, 'til he found a picture of the Man City 2010 U16s. Recognized Jamie right away, the big dark eyes and prickish smirk and long sleeves 'cause the muppet always got cold. And he was a fucking child. A tiny, scrawny little lad, must've been one of the youngest on the team the way most of the others dwarfed him. No one could ever have mistaken him for an adult, not that it would've been any less abjectly fucking horrifying if he'd looked like a full-grown man by the age of thirteen.

Ted corners him in the office. Or rather, Ted knocks on the door while he's got his head in his hands and the lights off, same as he has every evening since Amsterdam. Pokes his head in with his jacket already on and his bag slung over his shoulder, says, "You know I'm always ready for a late night special on the go session of the Diamond Dogs but if sitting in the dark's what gets your brain juices going, I can respect that. Just make sure to skeddaddle on out of here before our good friends over in maintenance come lock up; I love this place but a night with a locker room aroma ain't to anyone's taste," and Roy says, "Jamie told me he was raped in Amsterdam." They both freeze, Ted in the doorway with that stupid folksy smile still fixed on his face, Roy with his elbows planted on the desk and his fingers twisted through his hair. He feels sick. Jamie's already been violated and now Roy's gone and done it again, just fucking spilled his private trauma without permission 'cause he couldn't handle it. "What?" Ted asks, breathless. "He told you— he was— he told you in Amsterdam, or it happened—" "Fucking both," Roy grinds out. "Oh." Ted's gone so pale he's almost grey. "He seemed fine on the bus." "Not when we were there." Roy says. "I mean, he told me when we were there. Happened when he was fourteen. Don't think he knows that's what—" he sucks in a deep breath, not that it does jack shit to make him feel better. "But it is. That's what happened, and now I don't know what the fuck to do."

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Movie Night

This is part two of my childhood best friends-to-lover anthology. I utterly hate this installment, but once again, I have to get it out, or it will stay in my drafts forever. The first people to get the reference can drop a request into my inbox for any character in my pinned post.

Contains: Fluff.

2.2K words

Your movie night tradition leads to more than popcorn.

More terrifying than The Exorcist. The Curse of Blackstone Lab."  

Sean huffed and pulled your attention from the shop front toward the bus stop poster. "What do you think about that y/n?" 

You shrugged. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure I've heard that slogan a million times." The picture did its best to keep everything a mystery, containing only a photo of a long, dark, dirty hallway, the tagline, and a title in blocky white letters.

"I heard they needed doctors at the test screenings." He often revelled in his ability to be in the know, to know the right people to get whatever he wanted, and this time was no different. "I know the producer, I think I might be able to get us an advanced copy."

Being back at the top had its benefits; the last time, it was front row seats to the latest opera. "I thought we were going to watch Red Eye this weekend?"

He gave you a look, it was full of mischief and affection. "You're not scared are you?"

You rolled your eyes. "No, I'm not. I've haven't be scared of a horror movie in years. I just don't want you getting caught up when we have to go buy you new suits." You could tell it was already too late, the wheels in his head were well and truly turning. "Sean, you are shit with colour, and I have a date tonight; you're not about to make a phone call."

He looped his arm around yours and yanked you to him. "Alright then, I can't have you late for your Monday night date with Mr tall, dark and boring."

There was a hint of something to his voice that gave you pause, a mix of annoyance and snippiness that let you know he disapproved. "Not boring, he's nice."

He huffed, and his mouth opened and closed like he had stopped himself from saying something before he took a deep breath and shook the thought away. "Well, when he bores you half to death you know where I live."

You nodded. "Thank you, Sean, I'll remember that. Now we need to hurry up."

He grinned and pulled you towards the store. "Whatever you want, I would be lost without your stylistic talents."

****

You sat at the restaurant waiting for your date, but seven turned into eight and then into eight-thirty, and it was clear he wasn't coming. You thought about going home, but Sean would be calling anyway, and there was no way he was going to let you marinate in your embarrassment all by yourself, it would be quicker and easier just to head right to his place.

Billy opened the door when you got there and pointed you upstairs. "He's been expecting you." You sighed and began your walk of shame, but Billy stopped you. "Are you good?"

You nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

He titled his head. "Because Sean wanted to take the car and make sure your date went alright."

You shrugged. "You know Sean, he's always been overprotective of me. I'll tell him off when I get up there."

Billy nodded. "Like that will change anything. You look lovely by the way."

You gave him a smile. "Thanks Bill."

The door was open when you walked by, and Sean beckoned in with a smile. "How did your date go? Not well, considering that you're here."

You sighed. "It didn't, I got stood up."

There was no "I told you so." No, knowing smile or smug arrogance, he looked angry. "What a fucking coward, bastard doesn't even have the decency to call you, and you look so nice in that dress."

You put a hand on his bicep in hopes of soothing him. "I know" You took a deep breath before continuing, half to plan what you would say next and half to steel yourself from the pushback you knew you would get. "And Billy told me that you wanted to go and keep an eye and I've told a million times before I can look after myself."

He crossed his hands over his head, there wasn't an ounce of shame on his face. "I know that, but you're my friend, and like I said to you before, I didn't really like him all that much."

You smiled as he pulled you into a hug, his warm hands clutching you close. "Don't rub it in Wallace."

He chuckled softly, it was filled with warmth and affection. "You're better off anyway." You felt the hug tighten as the air changed. "Nevertheless, it's a good thing you're here, I have good news."

He broke from the hug and all but skipped to his desk, pulling out a non-descript disk. "I made a call just after you left me this afternoon and it was here by courier an hour later."

Your failed date was forgotten in an instant. "You got it?"

He nodded. "I did, and the producer said it's the scariest movie he's ever seen. So this Sunday, you, me, and a bucket of popcorn with the world's best butter?"

He was always so eager to spend time with you; it was hard to say no, even if you wanted to watch the other movie more. "Of course, it's our tradition."

****

You decided to stop by the bakery and get some cupcakes for tonight, and you felt a tap on your shoulder and spun around to see Billy standing behind you. "Hello."

You gave him a wave. "Hi, you look well."

He smiled shyly. "Yeah, things are good. What are you doing here?"

You pointed to the cupcakes inside the long glass display case. "Cupcakes for tonight."

He pressed his lips together, clearly trying to figure out if he should share the thought swirling in his head. "You got time for a coffee?"

You nodded. "Sure, I've always got time for you Bill."

It didn't take long for the coffee to brew, and you took your boxed cupcakes over to the table with him and sat down. "Now, what's on your mind?"

"Sean's in love with you. I'm pretty sure he has been since you guys were sixteen." He sipped his coffee like he hadn't just dropped a bomb the size of London on your head and nibbled the dry skin on his lower lip. "And let's be honest with ourselves y/n, I think the feeling is mutual."

You blinked, unsure what to say and taken aback by how blunt he was. "Wow, what makes you say that?" You were met with a raised eyebrow and a pointed exhale. "Yeah, ok, so I've been doing a shit job at hiding my feelings since everything that happened with Elliot and the crown, but he's back at the top, and I'm not going to complicate his life anymore by spilling my guts."

He nodded, almost to himself, wrapped his hand around the top of his cup and stood up. "Good talk y/n."

He was walking away before you could respond, and you yelled after him. "Are you just going to leave me here to sit in it?"

He turned his head towards you, still moving away. "Yep."

"It doesn't matter anyway, I have a date next week and I'm going to it." If he heard you, he didn't let on.

****

You pulled the white bakery box from your bag and smiled. "Are you ready to be terrified?"

He grinned and took the box from your hand, placing it on his desk before opening and looking over the sweet treats. "They look delicious." He handed you the one with the most icing and lifted his own.

He leaned back in his chair, glanced from the iced cake to you and back again, then picked it up and held it aloft, "To friends in high places."

He removed the wrapping from your cupcake and placed it in the empty box along with his own, then threw the box in the trash. Sighing, he stood up and said, "Would you like to stay the night? Mum's making pancakes in the morning. You don't need to leave when the movie's done."

There was no reason to say no, one of the many guest rooms was basically yours, housing your clothes and toiletries, even monogrammed towels that you received as a birthday gift one year. "Sure."

****

The position you were in was a common one, next to Sean on the couch in the movie room with a blanket thrown over your laps as he set the movie up. "I have another date next week, not with the same guy, and this one has an interesting job."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Ah, well I hope this one goes better."

You shrugged. "Who knows, if this one doesn't the next one will."

The lights in the room dimmed as the movie started, and you leaned into him as you started in on the popcorn. It started slow, the steady building of dread and the total uncertainty of whether the villain was a person, a demon or all in someone's head. They were right, it was scary, and Sean seemed to enjoy the way you slowly pulled the blanket closer to your face as you squished yourself into him. 

The second you thought you could relax, the thing hiding in the shadows the whole time finally came out, and you jumped out of your skin to his amusement. "Are you scared?" 

You shook your head. "No, it was just a loud noise." 

He laughed and shot you a look that told you he didn't believe you one bit. "You sure?" 

"Positive." You took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter, turning back to the screen as his arm pulled you impossibly closer. You did your best to relax, but it was nothing short of impossible, if this thing didn't win Best Picture at the Oscars then horror didn't stand a chance because the moment you thought you were safe, it was right back to the terror. 

You managed one more scare before you flinched again, and Sean was pausing the movie with a sigh. "You are scared." 

You sighed and twisted in his arms to face him. "So maybe I am just a bit." 

He smiled softly. "Don't worry, I won't let the monster get you." 

You nodded. "I know, I know you'd never let anything happen to me." 

There was a shift in the air, like the first change in the wind before a storm, and he went to say something else, but something stopped him. Your hand was still curled in his shirt from when you grabbed him, and as he looked at you in the blue lighting from the film, a feeling grew inside him. "What?" You gave him a look and a light shove and repeated yourself. "What?" 

He wasn't sure what to say, he couldn't tell you how he was feeling, that the butterflies that seemed to live in his chest whenever you were around had suddenly started to flutter so violently that he was sure they were bruising the fascia of his ribs.

You shoved him again to no effect, and he laid his hands on top of yours, they were warmed and calloused, and he was looking at you strangely. "Don't go on that date." 

You tilted your head. "Why?" It was such a sudden change of tone, but before you could press for more, his expression set firm like he had finally made an important decision, and then his lips were on yours. 

Oh, that's why

The moment you got over the shock, you sunk into the kiss, his lips were plump and soft, and he kissed you the way a drowning man begged Thetis for air. You broke from the kiss, and his lips followed yours as you backed away until you placed a hand on his chest. "What are you doing?" 

He pecked you again, and you couldn't help but let him. "I love you y/n." You wondered if Billy had talked to him like he had spoken to you. "I love you, so you can't go on that date or a date with anyone else who isn't me ever again because I don't know if I can survive the thought of you with anyone else." 

You lifted your hand to his cheek and ran your thumb over his freckled cheekbone. "Ok, but only if you kiss me again." He was happy to oblige, and you found yourself slowly moving onto your back as the kiss deepened. 

He was smiling against you, and his teeth found your lower lip in a soft bite before he pulled back. "Does this mean you return my affection?" 

You laughed and kissed an apology on his cheek at your lack of reciprocation. "Yes, it is returned whole heartedly. I love you Sean." 

He sat up and took you with him, and you wrinkled your eyebrows, but before you could say anything, he turned the movie back on and yanked you back into your previous position against him. "I would like to finish the film." 

His eyes were glinting with mischief, and his hand was slowly making its way up your leg. "You're being a tease." 

He leaned in close, his eyes still on the screen as he whispered into your ear. "Consider it payback coming here on Monday in that dress." 

Fin

@daydreaming-belle @lovemissyhoneybee @darklydeliciousdesires

[ujbestfriend]

Jeonghyo

“ouch!” Jeongyeon yelped when a hard knuckle hit her head. “yah why did you hit me!?”

“That's for being so stupid and careless of yourself” Jihyo tapped Jeongyeon’s forehead with the back of her hand and it’s burning hot. “Look at yourself, you are so hot!”

“i know i’m hot but you don’t have to point that out hehe,” she joked but another hit flew into her head. “yah!”

“I’m serious! Why did you take the bus when there was heavy rain outside? Are you stupid or what, Yoo Jeongyeon?!” Jihyo full-named her and usually it’s not good.

“I didn't have any other choice because I needed to submit my assignment to campus and the rain didn’t look like it would end soon” she pouted as she rubbed her head after being hit by Jihyo twice.

“Why didn't you call me then?” Jihyo crossed her arms.

“You were busy with the project you are doing with your friends and I don't want to disturb you…”

“I could ditch them and pick you up with my car, they can handle it for a while. you think I prefer seeing you drenched in the middle of the rain and sick like this, hah!?”

Jeongyeon looked down and couldn't even dare to see Jihyo’s eyes. This girl is really mad. She didn’t expect it would end up like this because she never got sick when she ran into the rain, but this time she got really sick. And what made the matter worse was Jihyo made a surprise visit to her dorm and here we are now. Sitting on the bed as Jihyo scolds her endlessly.

Jihyo took a long sigh and sat on the edge of the bed. She could see Jeongyeon’s pale face, messy hair, and wet nose. She is really sick. “just… don’t do that again, okay? you make me worried”

“I'm sorry, I just don’t want to bother you, you know?” Jeongyeon snorted her running nose.

“busy or not, at least call me or something so we can prevent something like this happen again”

“ehh? didn’t you say that the other day that you are very busy and don’t have time even for me?”

“ugh, you know very well that I was just joking. Of course I will do anything as best as I can for you” Jihyo took a bowl of soup on the nightstand that she prepared before. “now you have to eat”

Jeongyeon shook her head. “i don’t want, the food must be tasteless”

“You can be sick all you want, I do this just because I don't want you to die, at least right now” Jihyo offered a spoon in front of her mouth.

“Is that another way to say ‘I don’t want to lose you’, Ji?”

“pabo! can you shut up and just eat the food?” Jihyo yelled, ignoring the hot feeling in both of her cheeks.

Jeongyeon chuckled and opened her mouth anyway. She could have pissed her further but decided to stop because she has been kind to her this afternoon.

After she finished her soup, Jihyo also helped Jeongyeon to drink her medicine and got back to lying down on her bed so she could rest. Jihyo fixed her pillow and the blanket, making sure the older girl could sleep comfortably. 

“You are staying here, right?” said Jeongyeon in a sleepy voice and eyes hard to open.

“no i’m not, i’m going home after this” Jihyo checked her temperature with the back of her hand.

“hump… can you stay for the night, please?” Jeongyeon pouted.

“Haish, yeah yeah” Jihyo rolled her eyes playfully. She is actually already planning to stay even if Jeongyeon is not asked to stay. She is still worried about her girlfriend.

Jihyo climbed on the bed and tucked herself under the blanket facing Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon immediately looped her hand around the younger girl’s waist and buried her face on the crook of her head.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Jihyo-yah” She nuzzled closer and Jihyo could feel a hot breath on her neck.

“yeah, now sleep” she hugged the older girl’s body.

She chuckled a bit as she gently stroked Jeongyeon’s hair, shooting her to sleep. It’s funny because Jeongyeon rarely shows her clingy side. It only happens on very rare occasions, like when she is sick like this. Jihyo is not complaining at all but finds this very cute.

“I love you” she whispered out of silence.

“I know,” Jihyo replied.

“hump…”

Jihyo chuckled again. They are not the type of girlfriend who says sweet nothings to each other, even just simple ‘I love you’. When they do, they will cringe on their own and pretend to throw up. It’s because they’re used to being best friends for years that always bicker and tease each other every single minute. It's just the second month since they stepped up their relationship to girlfriends. They’re still learning and getting used to each other with this new kind of relationship.

But this time Jihyo knows that Jeongyeon is serious and genuine, not trying to mess her or anything. And that’s the reason why her heart fluttered like crazy after hearing that.

Jihyo kissed on top of Jeongyeon’s head. “I love you too, baby”

[blueeyedrat]

Games I played in 2023.

Last year was stable. This year has been... less so. I've bounced between getting out more and shutting myself in more, and between trying to take better care of myself and letting small issues and stressors start to pile up. My steady job got a lot less steady, and I'm now out of work and finding ways to pass the time. Like video games, for instance. Shall we?

(2022 ⇐ 2023)

Moncage

This was another decent year for getting caught up on games I've tried out and expressed an interest in before. Moncage, INSIGHT, Railbound, URBO, and a few other games you'll see further down the list. I also followed up on some games I've played in the past like Train Valley 2, and even dipped back into some old mainstays like Eternal. One of these days I'll find time for Minecraft or Dwarf Fortress again.

I more or less broke even on my backlog this year, chipping away at smaller games from assorted bundles I've picked up over the years, but also picking up some new bundles to add to the pile. So many games, so little time.

Before We Leave

While we're talking about the backlog, here's a game I've been interested in for a while. A settlement builder in a solar system of small planets, with a quaint aesthetic of wooden ships and massive space whales. I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this one. The automation and logistics aspect is an interesting spin on the genre, even it gets a bit complex at times. Never too challenging, though, and there's enough depth and nuance to hold my interest all the way to the final stages and on towards the stars. I'm looking forward to the upcoming sequel.

The Legend of Zelda (series)

It's hard to go wrong with Zelda. I have fond memories of Skyward Sword, Wind Waker HD, and Breath of the Wild, and with a new one on the way, it seemed like as good a time as any to catch up on my library. In order: Link's Awakening DX, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, The Minish Cap, and the DLC quests from Breath of the Wild I never got around to. Our Wii U saw more activity than it's gotten in years.

Opinions on each: Awakening was a fun, solid 2D adventure that never overstayed its welcome, though the game shows its age at a few points. Likewise, Ocarina was an interesting look at the series' jump to 3D, but was also somewhat janky at times and it took a while for me to really get into a groove with it. (I think the turning point might've been the Water Temple. I actually liked the Water Temple. Ye gods.) Majora was a sizeable improvement gameplay-wise and played with the format in neat ways, though I'll admit that I butted heads with the time loop mechanic more than once.

I have a particular nostalgia for Minish Cap; some of my earliest memories of Nintendo games are watching my friend's GBA over his shoulder on the bus ride to elementary school. After so long, this was the one I was most curious to see if it held up. Answer: yes. Minish Cap is officially my favorite 2D Zelda, and the highlight of this little retro binge. There's a lot of charm to it, and it just feels good to play.

It may be a bit too recent for nostalgia, but I almost forgot how much I loved Breath of the Wild. My old file was exactly how I left it, and playing through the extra content was a good way to re-acquaint myself with the "new" Zelda style before…

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

This was a daunting one. If I had to sum up Tears in one sentence, it would be this: There is so much game in this game. Even compared to its predecessor, there's so much to do and so many more layers of exploration and interaction, with a wide array of smaller improvements that make it a smoother experience overall.

I wish I could say I put as much time into this game as I did into Breath of the Wild, and I did put a lot of time into it, but… some other things got in the way. Summer is when my work got a lot busier and a good amount more stressful, and this was a game I slowly chipped away at whenever I found time for it. I got pretty much everything I wanted out of it, and after the credits rolled, I put it away and haven't touched it since. I should change that. I'm sure there are more good times to be had.

Mutazione

The word that comes to mind to describe Mutazione is fascinating. It's a point-and-click narrative, light on gameplay, heavy on story and character. Of the other games I've played recently, the vibes remind me the most of Sable – quiet and contemplative, where all you want to do is observe and take in the world and characters that are being presented to you. It dovetails nicely with the story itself, which largely consists of a curious little soap opera playing out around characters who are along for the ride. The writing is some of the best I've seen this year, and gets real fuckin' raw in ways I wasn't expecting. This one will stick with me for a while.

Pikmin 3 / The Wild at Heart

I've never had the focus or dexterity for a really complex RTS, but Pikmin's always been a little more approachable. Played the second game in the series a while back, picked up a used copy of Pikmin 3 at a local convention this year, and with another one coming out, it seemed as good an excuse as any to make it a double feature.

Both games have their charms. Pikmin has a distinct style and sense of scale that's hard to replicate, and a good variety of environments and encounters and puzzles. The Wild at Heart is smaller in scope as a Pikmin-like, and hits some familiar beats while remixing some of the core ideas in interesting ways. The latter also put more of an emphasis on character and narrative, something I'd like to see fleshed out more, but what we got was still satisfying. Both games were fun, and I'm looking forward to getting my hands on Pikmin 4 soon.

Chants of Sennaar / Heaven's Vault

Another double feature – one game that caught my eye immediately, and another I've been curious about for a while. For a long time I've had a fondness for constructed languages, with scripts and writing systems of particular interest. The idea of decoding such a language lends itself well to a puzzle game, and these two approach it in different ways: Chants of Sennaar features multiple cultures in a Tower of Babel-esque setting, each with their own quirks and traits to learn and translate between, and their own puzzles to solve. Heaven's Vault opts for depth, with a single language and a vast history that you slowly unravel through exploration.

My verdict for both games is the same. The language puzzles are really cool and interesting! I want more of them! …Everything else in between gets sort of meandering at times. Not enough to drag down the overall experience, but perhaps enough to overstay its welcome. Sennaar filled the space with a mish-mash of puzzles and stealth, which felt oddly paced at times. Heaven's Vault's pacing was hit even harder with slow exploration and visual novel-esque story segments – fine enough for one playthrough, but the amount of wandering and backtracking involved makes me hesitant to go back and play NG+ to see the rest of the content. I don't have the patience to play a visual novel multiple times to see what all of the dialogue options do. The story's fine as is, and I got what I wanted out of it.

Even with their faults, these are still probably the games that influenced me the most in 2023. If anyone asks me, as a game dev, what I would make given unlimited time, resources, and creative freedom, from now on I'm going to point to Chants of Sennaar and say "something like that". I want more games like this to exist. I will make them myself, if I have to.

F-Zero 99

This wasn't the only racing game I played this year – a bunch of new content was added to Mario Kart 8, and I also pulled Horizon Chase Turbo from my backlog and spent a bit of time on that – but this is definitely the one that made the biggest splash. I've never played an F-Zero game, and it controls differently enough from other racers I've played that I had to unlearn a lot of muscle memory, but I got the hang of it after a while. The 99-player model is frantic in an enjoyable way, and races are quick enough that it's easy to pick up and play in short bursts… which is good, because short bursts are all my nerves can take with this one. Seriously this game is stressful. Fun, but stressful. Maybe one of these days I'll actually win a 99-player race.

Cobalt Core

I've been playing... a lot of Cobalt Core these past couple months. I don't jump on every roguelite or deckbuilder that comes out, but when one does get its hooks in me, they get in deep. This is another one of those games where everything just works. Great music and pixel art, fun characters (all traits shared with its predecessor, Sunshine Heavy Industries, which I also liked this year), a simple but engaging narrative, and an addicting gameplay loop that I can easily sink an hour into whenever the mood strikes me. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it doesn't need to – it takes a lot of ideas from games that have come before it, and builds on them to create something really enjoyable. One of my favorite games of the year, without question.

Terra Nil

As we build up, so too must we tear down. This is another one I wanted to get to sooner or later, and managed to slip it in during the last couple weeks of the year. It's also a type of game I want to play more often; a lot of the time when I play sim and builder games all I really want in the end is to build nice-looking homes and environments, and Terra Nil spins that into a puzzle game where those things are the only goal. It was a nice time, but left me wanting more – either more content in Terra Nil, or more games like it.

Eastward

This game is… a curiosity. A solid action-adventure game with a memorable cast of characters and impeccably detailed pixel art. Gameplay flips back and forth between slow-paced story segments and fun setpiece levels with a decent variety of tools for combat and puzzle-solving. The biggest sticking point is the narrative: the pacing and worldbuilding felt odd and disjointed in places, particularly in the back half, sometimes feeling like it's saying too much and often like it's said too little. Yet throughout all that, it never failed to be compelling, and I was hooked all the way 'til the end. What's more, the idea of the upcoming Octopia DLC flipping the entire game and setting on its head has my interest thoroughly piqued – something to look forward to in the coming year.

-

Here's to 2024, and here's hoping things turn around sooner or later.

[tobiasdrake]

The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan, Episode 16

Final episode. It's now or never, Yuki. If you don't pull that trigger this time then you'll never have another--

Well, actually, I think I heard the manga goes farther than the anime does? So. Maybe not. But I want my catharsis after all the time and feels I've invested in her emotional journey!

My dude, it is 2015. You need to sit down with Itsuki for a coffee and ask him about climate change.

Oh this ship is fucked. I don't know how you come back from jerking your hand away from her touch like she's infected with plague.

Pretty sure you're at "Fake my death and move to the next town over" territory at this point.

Like. I get where he's coming from. Factory Settings confessed her love to him and then immediately dropped dead. Anyone would be freaked out over that.

I'm just saying, poor Yuki. She does not know the context of this moment. Minus that, I would be super offended.

Look at her trying not to cry while she apologizes for holding hands with the boy she likes, like it was a grievous personal transgression. The boy who, I should note, grabbed her hand in the first place rather than the other way around.

Yuki. Sweetheart. I'm so sorry this is your life right now.

I can't even be like, "Tell him, Yuki," because boy is grieving so that would not help. Things just suck for everyone in this moment.

Oh my god.

We are actually doing a ninth episode of Eternal Eight.

I mean. In a sense, we've been doing a ninth episode of Eternal Eight since the previous episode. Still.

The audacity. I'm not even mad. I've been complaining about recycling material for the last two episodes but part of me admires the brazenness in going full stop, "Fuck all-a y'all, IT'S ETERNAL EIGHT AGAIN ASSHOLES." XD

Like. There is a logic to ending the series by revisiting the arc that caused Yuki to malfunction and eat Haruhi in the first place. I just. the context of it being this arc specifically.

They had seven years to make new Haruhi material. Seven years to think about the reception to the existing material, and make decisions for what they'd want to do in the new spinoff show. And somebody actually had the nerve to go, "You know what the fans really want? More Eternal Eight."

That is such a Fuck You move that I'm kinda here for it.

Mikuru and Tsuruya aren't here because the timey-wimey shenanigans put Ryoko here instead. That means we're probably not going goldfish scooping.

I do believe I said earlier that I hope everyone died in any cycle where we deprived Mikuru of the one thing she wanted. Sorry, gang, but you're all going under the nearest bus.

Look on the bright side. It might bring Factory Settings back.

Took you 594 years to figure your shit out last time. Try and break your record, Kyon!

Itsuki's branching out into subtle metaphor. Kyon never retains anything Itsuki tells him directly so maybe giving him a puzzle to solve will make him internalize the knowledge better.

Or it will fly over his head. One of the two.

Will Yuki remember to buy a mask? And will they go goldfish scooping so they don't all have to die in a wildfire moments after the credits roll? These are the important questions of Festival Trip 9.

OH MY HARUHI she got distracted by a live performance of Will It Blend. FELT THOUGH. Holy shit, I miss those shameless commercials barely masquerading as an entertainment web show.

You know what? I can accept this. As long as she's having the time of her life, I can forgive a lack of goldfish scooping.

Get fucked, Tsuruya. It is Blender Time.

This is officially one of the best scenes in the franchise. Up there with the time she punched Kyon in the face. Mikuru is getting to enjoy life with no strings attached and got to violently assault one of her abusers. Just like punching Kyon, I could watch her backhand Tsuruya on loop for hours.

Now we just need a scene of her pushing Haruhi in front of a bus and she'll have a hat trick of retaliations.

Also, I still demand they animate the scene of her hurling Kyon down a flight of stairs. I need it.

Okay so we're still going goldfish scooping, we're just doing it without Mikuru.

Not sure if that makes me vindictive again or not. Because on the one hand, this was Mikuru's activity. We were only doing it because she wanted it.

But she's having a really good time watching Will It Blend. If anyone went over to fetch her for scooping, they'd go in the blender.

Dooooo ittttttttttt

And also buy her a mask while you're at it. Failing to acquire a mask for Yuki may or may not also be a death-by-wildfire offense.

Legit thought she was going to be like, "If Yuki and Kyon are officially a thing now then that means you're up for grabs, right? 'Cause I call dibs."

But no. She is going to sort out her feelings with physical violence against inanimate objects.

This is way more believable than her OOC talk with Kyon earlier.

Also, by helping Ryoko sort her feelings with physical violence, Haruhi is nonetheless kinda calling dibs.

(In seriousness, I stand by what I said before regarding how, it may not seem like it, but the fracturing of their emotional codependency doesn't have to mean the end of Ryoko's relationship with Yuki. In time, it may even be stronger than ever for it.

Haruhi's definitely fucked, though. But. Y'know. Fuck her. She is my character and I say this with love but... get fucked, Haruhi. She will be better off in the long run for having learned to process disappointment, as opposed to the spoiled and entitled goddess who drugged Mikuru. This is the kind of thing she desperately needs in the original series.)

Now, all Kyon has to do is be open and honest with his feelings. Specifically, the feelings that I have decided on his behalf that he has, because he's never actually expressed romantic interest towards this version of Yuki but I NEED HIM TO IF THE SHIP IS GOING TO BE FULFILLED.

Which is how Melancholy handles him too. So it's fair.

Aww, Factory Settings came back for this. ^_^ Squee!

So. Confusing. For Escapist Yuki who's passively receiving a love confession meant for a different version of her, though. I feel like she just became a replacement goldfish for herself. So many complicated feelings about this.

Oh. Never mind. I guess Yuki lost the Yuki -> Kyon -> Factory Settings love triangle. Sorry, gurl. But at least you still have Spacetime.

Just. Not right now because you will go in that blender.

(Also Ryoko!)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

He is flirting with you.

In seriousness, it makes sense that they don't clinch the romance here. Like I said earlier, Kyon is grieving. This episode is his opportunity to finally sort out his feelings towards Factory Settings, which he needs to do before he'll be emotionally available for anyone.

This is about Kyon getting closure. I'm sure there's probably much more manga to come before Yuki finally gets what she wants, if she ever does - I keep thinking back to the way her wishes are never, "I want to be with Kyon" but rather "I want to stay friends with everyone."

Still. I want nice things for her, dammit!

Being adopted as Haruhi's mom is agony. Ryoko will be thrilled to know she remains employed at the Nagato residence.

She got something better than a goldfish this time around. She is armed and dangerous. Nobody will ever mess with Mikuru again.

She'll blend your phone. Your personal belongings. The clothes off your back. You. She is a deadly blending warrior now and don't you forget it.

Look at Tsuruya's face. Feel how the power dynamic has shifted.

I'm mad that we end on status quo.

But also happy for Yuki because she got what she wished for all the same.

Complicated feelings.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Post-credits joke is top fucking tier HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This makes no sense but it doesn't have to because this is the end of the road for the show, so it's not going to be followed up on. It's just. An amazing punchline to cap off the revisit of Eternal Eight.

[apupp3tw0-strings]

Dream Dairy

Date: October 15th, 2131

I'm writing this on the bus to school, but still felt I needed to write this down because well... it felt important.

Its been a couple of days since Spamton started living with us, and he is... even weirder than I initially thought. Not it a particularly bad way just... weird. There's been a bunch of things I've observed, from random glitches to the way its lens static or its weird vocal tics or how it like just, forgets stuff randomly. Papa and Dadaton have noticed even more stuff as they've been staying home with him while I've had to go to school the past few days (Fall Break starts tomorrow so at least there's that.) I've heard them whispering to each other about how it's probably best Spamton's not left alone after Dadaton found him rummaging around the attic on Thursday. (I've noticed it tends to get pretty lonely but have no clue what Spam could've been doing in the attic) Papa's also been planning for CK, Kris, and Jevil to hopefully come over soon so progress can be started sorting through their issues or something. I'm mostly excited for CK to come up here hopefully tomorrow.

Gyeh! But wait, that's not the important thing I was gonna talk about! (Though updating on the Spamton situation is like half of why I've been keeping this blog.) No, I... this is about the strange dreams I keep having. Which I now wonder are tied into the whole Dark World thing. I've mentioned before how I'm no stranger to weird dreams or nightmares, but now it seems my dreams are veering less towards the usual puppet performance stages and strange, blob like audiences and deep, dark waves that drag me under, and more towards the Dark World.

On Friday, I had a dream where I was in my Dark World outfit in a very dark, dark place. I don't remember much, just walking around a lot in the darkness, until I heard... ringing. It seemed to be getting louder and louder and I couldn't tell where it was coming from until I saw a phone. But when I got closer and reached for the phone to make the ringing stop... I woke up. Turns out the ringing was just my phone's alarm and I was late for school. Had to rush to get ready as soon as I could and ask Dadaton to drive me.

And then last night, Sunday started out like my usual nightmares do. On a stage and with a grey crowd. I was Pinocchio and was being held up by strings (likely came from Blane and Blaze teasing me for my nose earlier that day. If only I could have them meet Spamton, my nose seems tiny in comparison.) "I've Got No Strings" seemed to be playing on loop as the strings made me move against my will until it felt like someone or some... thing, picked me up. Suddenly I was in my Dark World outfit again as I laid limp in their hands. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything until something cut my strings and I fell deeper and deeper, darker and darker before waking up. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found Spamton sitting on my chest, staring at me. (Also I think he was... purring?)

I don't know what any of these dreams mean, if they mean anything at all, but if I have any more ill be sure to record them here for... mostly myself but also I guess whoever else is reading these posts? For now, we're at the stop for school and Taffy's trying to ask me something so I should pay attention and put my phone away.

[jennomess]

A bit sick bf (3/5) Smooth assassin

So, monday night arrives and we start our Meet nightly videocall. We use to lay our phones in the walls or a pillow so we see each other just as if we were sleeping next to the other, and, well, lately he's not turning up all the brightness in his phone and i can barely see him in the darkness, but the thing is that now, i'm so sorry i forgot what we were talking about but i know that he finished his sentence, smoothly turned around completely, and I thought in a flash something like "That silence is familiar. Omg no way, it's gonna happen? Fuck it's gonna happen"

And i heard a gentle, strong and fast...

"AHhh' CCHII!"

And he sniffles, turns around again, i say "bless you" with a bit of intento, he thanks me and sniffles again, and we keep walking, i feel my eyes a bit open in an "oh fuck i need to stay focused bu with THIS GIFT!? HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO" as he told me that he loves me and wants to be close to me and haha i can't cross the screen, and i tried to reply coherently also with my feelings, in between the loving words display he makes a gesture with his finger close to the camera wich brightens my screen and also my face and he looks at me and then also gets the light of my lighted face in his phone so he takes his finger back, i hope he didn't had time to see that my expresión wasn't as usual, i don't think so but who knows, and well, some time after that he fell asleep.

And with all that, i had the obligation to cover my face with both of my hands in my sheets and bite my lips, let my face weep, twist my insides with themselves as the situation demanded and cry inside my head about what just happened bc whatasneezeomg and i just had been thinking about recording this Meet just in case something like this happened but i was so afraid to try so bc i don't know if the Meet notifies both users if i'm recording my phone screen or not and AAH TvT.

Looping the sneeze in my head i notices that it started with the gasp in C and finished with the sneeze in G

[crescentmoon-flower]

Rewatching winx season 4 for nostalgia and realizing how wierd some things are

Ep. 7

Musa posing like the drama queen she is

How did Stella drag roxy upwards like that

"I'm a great shot" im sure you are

Stella darling you managed to contradict yourself

Musa your great, and I wish you kept these spells

Nevermind then musa is useless

Stella contradicting herself again

Oh poor doggy, also I would react the same to someone hurting my baby

Oh wow roxy is strong

Awww, tiny kitten

Flora and anagan flirting, its actually kinda cute

What the hell even is gantlos's power

Aw, sweet old rich woman

And gantlos found them

Yeah that car crash is about right

Also for a second I thought the woman was going to help roxy

Sassy gantlos

Oh wow that was a close one

Wow artu is smart, I wonder is that's a side effect of being around roxy

Spirit speech

Oh poor artu

Oh that's a close one part 2

First magic!

What exactly did roxy do though?

Sudden upbeat Music

Well that's a tone shift

Weren't they all just on the floor in the last frame?

Specialist deus ex machina

Nabu speaks really wierd sometimes

Oh my god Rivington chopped duman's hair XD

Did they just corner ogron and leave the others?

Awww, supportive timmy

Wow aisha is in a great mood.

I... don't thing implicitly is the word your looking for

Naaaawwwww

Liesssssss, you'll end up with more

HAHA, flora and aisha's reactions are great

Wait...... Didn't timmy already have a job?? Did he quit to be around roxy more? Or is he doing both?

How did he go from helia to Tobias? The others are similar but helia?

BOO-BOO XD

Oh okay nevermind

Oh my god, the one who doesn't work there is the only one he got right

As a only child and a girl, I feel you roxy

Ooooooohhhhh, musa

Bloom my god

Hey its that girl who everyone thought is the last fairy

Swimsuits?ok

Animation mistake roxy's sleeves

Spend the whole day talking to the neighbours canary?

Ok at least faragonda is kept in the loop

The fairy pets are adorable but useless

A yes, mcguffin wings bearly used

Guide book? What guide book?

What's with the sudden change of heart about keeping things secret

Why doesn't morgana just tell roxy who she is?

Ep 8

Pointless fluff

Oh kiko

More pointless fairy pet things

Didn't tecna explain the website several times now.

Finally common sense for stupid romance problems

Convenient timing

Did roxy sleep the entire day?

Ok the whole pictures arrange themselves in the same way

Cowboy outfits, actually one of my faves

Kind of worry roxy had a bother reaction to magic wardrobe change

Oh the Stella silent treatment

Ok from experience no large camper or bus like that has 4wheel drive

Suddenly I remember that the driver in world of winx was also aisha

I'd love to go there on horseback

Dramatic duman

Sadly irrelevant to the conversation flora

Don't like this man

Oh no this is going to be a disaster

Snort* flying bear

Seriously what are gantlos's powers?

Wait they can miniaturise what not in enchantix?

Smoke them out, smart

Gantlos is my reaction to

Did the circle burn him or just hurt?

Well that's awsome

Oh my god that man is dedicated to not noticing shit

That smile is creepy

Isn't this man a lumberjack? How is he going to survive now?

Why does bloom get to keep the circle?

And their back

Pets aren't typically allowed at bars

Pointless pet fluff

Nabu forshadowing

Aww tecna is emoting so much, I'm proud!

Damn this all, more mitzie

...well she had a good singing voice

He has work, stella

He's going to break that guitar

More nabu foreshadowing

Creepy surfer man

For a really important episode it feels like 70 percent is pointless

[roo-bastmoon]

Maximum Effort!!

Puppykitties! Perk ya ears up today! I've compiled a list of actions we need to hop all over right now. PLEASE REBLOG.

We must be smart and efficient with every second we have from now until Thursday, April 6th at 11:59PM EST.

First up--let's switch to a very targeted playlist on Spotify. Set your alarm and switch accounts at 4 hours and 45 minutes in.

Also remember to play Like Crazy (and only Like Crazy) from these massive playlists when you have 4 minutes to spare.

Next, YouTube. That MOTHERFUCKER is freezing and deleting our streams to the point where we been stuck at 33 million for days but we HAVE to keep trying. It weighs too heavily to stop. We absolutely cannot abandon this ASSHOLE OF A PLATFORM GODDAMNIT.

If you don't have time to fiddle with playlists today, put this one on and just click around every two hours:

If you CAN manually stream, then please engage with this shorter and more targeted list the next two days (check in every 35 minutes and hit refresh up to 40 times in a 24-hour period for maximum charting):

However, please also prioritize Apple Music and Pandora today. Even if it's uncomfortable or totally new to you, now's the time, today's the day, we need these streams for Jimin.

If you want to play on the Apple Music site, here's a good enough playlist.

HOWEVER, I recommend instead signing into Stationhead with your Apple Music login and joining this specific streaming party as they play Jimin 24/7 and that counts as engaged, premium streams, so you can just set it and forget it.

Also have the music video playing nonstop on a tab with your Facebook please--these views won't get deleted.

Now: the Pandora Experiment. Please. Please try it If Pandora is available in your country, please sign up for a 60 day free trial, make a playlist of Jimin's songs including all the versions of Like Crazy, and set it to loop. Doing this can give you over 200 streams a day that all count for charts. That counts the same as if you bought the song itself. I know you're tired. Do you think fatigue stops Park Jimin? Of course not! Then it shouldn't stop you.

I made a playlist and I'm looping it and it's the easiest streams I've ever gotten; I feel like I'm robbing the music industry.

While you're streaming, you must buy. I'm sorry. I know you've already bought a lot. I know you're tired. I know it's a pain in the ass to make emails and accounts and source other funding. I know. But we need 100,000 sales by midnight Thursday and we are just a bit over half way. So as much as it's exhausting, everyone, buy all 5 versions of the digital single Like Crazy today if you're a US/PR ARMY. And prepare to do it again tomorrow. It boils down to a few minutes and $3.80. There's no getting around it. YOU NEED TO BUY AGAIN.

If you are not a US ARMY but you can spare the money, please donate to US ARMY funds:

And if you just absolutely cannot afford it, do not stress or feel shame. You still have vital roles you can play while the rest of us are running around like our hair is on fire. We need you to stream hard, contact radio stations online, and VOTE.

Which brings me to the fact we have several votes going on that Jimin is losing. The most critical today is on the MuBeat app for the CORE MUSIC AWARDS.

When you're in the bathroom or on the bus or waiting for your food to heat up, if you have 3 minutes of idle time, that's when you watch free videos on idol apps like MuBeat, IdolPlus, Fan N Star, and Choeaedol to collect points so you can vote for Jimin on these awards!

These are all the ones I have specifically for ARMY duties:

Finally, everyone, it may never come to fruition, but please click through all active links to radio stations on this linktree. These spins on these stations will count for Billboard. Please click active links, go to ALERTS, paste in the words "Like Crazy by Jimin of BTS" and submit.

And on one last note, I want to reset Intention.

I went a bit negative yesterday and I regret it. All of you love Jimin; none of you need to be brow-beaten to support him. This is extremely stressful. None of us want to see Jimin dragged or shamed or made to feel like his efforts were wasted. However, antis are always going to insult him, our perfectionist is always going to feel humble, and the media and music industry are always looking for a nice juicy downfall. Nothing can touch the fact that Jimin made history this week.

I realize now that we have to be like our boy, and be stubborn enough to get right back up and keep on going. So today, let our intention be positive. Imagine Jimin's happy face and giggles and soft warm feelings, knowing that we gave our all to support him. Wherever it lands, whatever happens, we do this not out of spite for our rivals but out of love for Park Jimin. Love always wins.

The rest is noise. Tune it out. Focus only on what matters.

Work hard, but do it with love.

God's speed and thank you, puppykitties. I have such sincere admiration for you all.

Love, Roo

[charlesandmartine]

Tuesday 9th April 2024

The plan today was to take a trip up Table Mountain. However, best made plans and all that, didn't quite work out. The main reason for this, and quite a good one as reasons go, was that as far as we could tell, there was no Table Mountain. Where it was supposed to be was the biggest cloud ever. The Tourist Information lady was insistent it was not worth going; maybe tomorrow she said. Well, how about going to the wine fields instead. The bus went at 8.30 she said, it's not possible today.

So with the aid of a flip chart and slide rule we rescheduled and bought a ticket for the around town HoHo. In time this took us to the cable car for Table Mountain. Eerily, cables emerging from the terminus at a 45° angle were quickly immersed in cloud. That's official then, it's off for the day. Our hop-on completed its loop and we were back at the Waterfront enjoying a flat white. Tomorrow we are booked on the tour to Robben Island so we thought we'd pop into the Robben Island museum to do a bit of swotting up before the trip. Now I really don't know why we do this to ourselves, but we utterly depressed ourselves regarding the life of one famous inmate, Robert Sobukwe who happened to be a member of the PAC (Pan African Congress). Wherever we go we seem to come across desperate stories of heroes in our lifetime whose bravery we have either had no idea of, or we have entirely overlooked. This man was jailed for 3 years in 1960 for standing up for the rights of his people, not released at the end of his term; instead sent to Robben Island where he remained until 1969. He was then sent on to Kimberley spending the rest of his life under 12 hours a day house arrest, dying in 1978 from lung cancer. It would seem that Robben Island has been used in many ways since 1658 when the Dutch installed its first political prisoner. Since then it's been used by both the Dutch and British for all sorts of groups; lepers, prisoners, lunatics, you name it. The island's best attribute is that it's almost impossible to escape from. Let's hope we catch the return boat tomorrow. I'm sure by then we'll be completely suicidal and we haven't even touched on apartheid yet!

South Africa has indeed had a chequered history. Discovered by the Portuguese, then owned from 1652 courtesy of the Dutch East Indian Company until 1795 when the British took it because they were worried the French might take it. In 1802 the British handed it back to the Dutch, only to take it back again in 1806 because this time we were having Napoleonic war problems. Confused? I'll say but it must have been far worse for the South Africans. From one day to the next they wouldn't know if they were Dutch or British. Then in May 1961 they declared themselves a Republic and they became South Africans so that sorted it. Let's hope we shall be better informed tomorrow after the visit to Robben Island.

Back to the Waterfront for a rubbery chicken, roast potatoes, salad and of course a bottle of very reasonable SB and watching Mission Impossible.

Busy day tomorrow hoping the drizzle might have stopped.

[fountainpenguin]

Hi, no pressure in this question of course I understand life can be busy and interests wane. But is there any chance you’re updating “Frayed Knots” soon? I really love the fic, the romance is so good and the lore so in depth

Yep! That's the 'fic I'm hoping to update in June!

You can read more about my 2024 fanfic update plans in this post if you want a more detailed explanation. It also has a list of different series you can subscribe to if you only want AO3 emails for specific fandoms I post for, but not others.

I'm really glad you like it, especially the romance and worldbuilding :) Thank you, that means a lot to me.

---

One of the things that happened with Frayed Knots was that I cut a scene that I decided was "too long" or "not relevant," even though I really liked it. I killed my darlings, as it were.

/whispers loudly - It was a scene about Anti-Cosmo having a fling with the fairy prince Eastkal and I was like. "I can't actually do this... He already has 4+ people attracted to him at this point in the story; I can't just let another person fall at his feet, even though he DID save this guy's life and Eastkal is obsessed with him."

I personally think it was hilarious because it's mostly Anti-Cosmo tying Eastkal to a bed and robbing him blind while Eastkal slowly realizes what's happening, but I felt it wasn't clicking with the D3 stuff A.C. was dealing with at that time, so I scrapped it. Anti-Cosmo has a disorder and was in a weird point at that time of the 'fic, and I didn't want him to "stop experiencing symptoms" just to have a fling scene.

So canonically, Anti-Cosmo forgot to meet up with Eastkal because he was thinking about how much he wanted to have a fling and in doing so, he failed to have a fling

However, cutting the scene really threw off a specific groove that I've needed - Eastkal being loyal to A.C. so we can hit a specific scene during the war where they face each other and it's dramatic - so I've been trying to loop back around... hence why Eastkal followed Anti-Cosmo all the way to the Anti-Fairy migration zone.

It's been very frustrating and was a good reminder that hey, there's a reason my outline is the way it is, and I shouldn't just cut scenes because a chapter is long. Some of the chapters are very long and they should be that way because it's right for the story. That's honestly why I committed to the 27k-word chapter Knots currently has last- I didn't find a good place to cut it and I really did not want to, so I remembered how frustrated I was when I cut stuff and I chose not to cut.

The next scenes I have to deal with are sensitive in nature, as they involve some important relationship changes for Anti-Cosmo, including:

- Lots of self-realization about what he wants and how it differs from the strict requirements of his culture (i.e. deferring to certain people based on their zodiac year) - Difficult conversations with Anti-Lance - Difficult things happening in school since he's trying to get into the godparenting program - Dealing with the fact that Blonda just confessed she has a crush on him and wants to see him after he comes back from migration - The fact that A.C. still wants to see Blonda even though he's betrothed to someone who's asked him to be monogamous - Large interactions with Wanda (a major character; people are probably looking forward to this scene) - Dealing with the fact that his betrothed just called off his wedding and now he's reeling from it - Facing the fact that he just realized he wants to run off with his betrothed and cross-dress because Anti-Fairy culture is super strict with gender norms and he wants to try a different lifestyle, which is a very interesting thing for him to do considering he's been sexist this entire story - Meeting Cosmo for the first time (again, a scene that should be important and handled with care) - Upcoming drama with Anti-Buster and Ant-Bryndin, including stuff that changed from my original outline, where I was planning to kill off Anti-Buster but no longer can because I've tied his life to a character who's still alive in canon

So it's a lot of stuff I think is important to do right, and I didn't want to rush it.

Also, I've been struggling with self-censorship, especially since I did a lot of worldbuilding and outlining 8 to 9 years ago, and some of my views have changed (plus general writing style improvement- Origin and Knots feel choppier and more awkward for me than they did back then).

I spent a lot of 2023 re-unlearning these hesitations, and trying to rekindle my love for what these 'fics are. They've always been villain backstory 'fics, and they're labeled with reminders that the cultures I portray are fine for insect and bat people - trickster fae especially - and not necessarily good for humans.

It just took me a while to stop feeling overly self-conscious about them and the 130 Prompts as I've gotten older and started to wonder if people think I'm trying to promote these very harmful relationships.

There are some very bad things that happen in these 'fics. Things that are harmful. Do not use villains as positive role models, especially when you're seeing them in their villain arc before they enter their silly arcs. In fact, don't use the fey as good role models at all. They are not human, I have no intention of writing them like they're human, and they do some pretty messed-up things.

And I'm glad I've come around to tap into that again, because I'm sick of living in the mindset I was in for part of 2023 where I just felt very judged and self-conscious about what I was writing. If there's one takeaway you should have from my 'fics, I hope it's a recognition that fiction is not reality and the things I write about aren't necessarily things I endorse. I like dealing with trauma across a million-year lifespan, and some pretty bad stuff happens to a lot of these characters. It's just... how it is.

But I do want to handle some of these scenes carefully, like Anti-Cosmo meeting Cosmo for the first time, because there's stuff I don't want to rush, and I want a buffer prepped so that I no longer have these awkward, surprise gaps between chapters.

tl;dr - Hopefully next month I'll have some things to post. If not in June, I'd like to be posting in July :)