#Now I want to drink it >_< but I'm out of coconut milk :(

[hermitsdump]

So I have this spreadsheet of scents that I would use to make candles that smell like different characters, right

But it's hard to decide on a vessel for some of them

Anyway I went back to the candle shop today and a good bit of them were cycled out for other scents (maybe Choso will get his next year)

So I wanted to use the seasonal scents while they're here, yk

And I came out with one inspired by Sukuna's milk

[bigification]

Star Of The Show

"Is that really safe?" A snobbish man in an expensive suit snarled.

"Yes Mr. Derry, how many times do I have to tell you. It'll make you into a prime bodybuilder just like you asked." The technician sighed.

"It better be, because I am an important stake holder in this bodybuilding competition and I paid a lot for this." Mr. Derry continued to whine, despite receiving exactly what he asked for.

"Here I brought your coffee, sir." Mr. Derry's assistant sheepishly held out a Starbucks coffee. He grumbled as he read the long list of modifications he needed in his coffee to drink it.

"This has coconut milk you idiot!" He shoved the coffee back into his assistant, sending the scrawny man stumbling back. In an attempt to regain his balance he flailed his arm into the large machine that sat nearby.

"I... I'm sorry sir." The assistant panicked. "I can fix it." He reached for the machine in an attempt to minimize the blowback from his boss. He tried to move the machine back to its original position.

"Wait no! Don't tou-" the technician was interrupted.

A blinding light erupted across the back stage as a concentrated beam shot into the assistants chest. He looked like a ragdoll being tossed across the room, slamming into the wall. No one even noticed what had happened while they tried to recover from the flash.

The assistant slowly got up, his head was spinning. He assumed it was from the crash into the wall, but it only got worse after he got up. A burning heat boiled inside his chest as he attempted to recover. The burning soon turned to a tightness as his chest began to grow. His flat chest started to rise like a loaf of bread in the oven. His preppy button up strained under the pressure of his thickening pecs until the buttons started to pop off. His shirt burst open, revealing the perfectly formed pecs of a bodybuilder that created a shelf over his stomach. Speaking of which, his stomach began to melt away. His now flat stomach quickly rose back up, but with hard muscles this time. His stomach started to round out into a small muscle gut as six distinct muscles formed over it, causing the rest of his buttons to pop off in the process.

The technician and Mr. Derry were starting to recover from the flash, hearing increasingly loud footsteps rumbled from across the room and ever deeper sounding grunts and moans came from the assistant.

The assistant lurched over as his shoulder broadened, finally ripping his shirt to shreds. His upper back exploded with rippling muscles that would make any man jealous. And his lower back slimmed to give his body a strong V shape. Moments later he started to flex his arms, making them balloon with every flex. His biceps grew to the size of melons as veins surfaced all down his arms. And his hands thickened into massive man hands, twice the size of his old delicate hands.

Mr. Derry let out a loud scoff as he watched the assistant transform into the man he wanted to be. And the technician just smiled at Me. Derry's dismay. Meanwhile the assistant started to let out deep guttural moans pleasure as his body grew, and animalistic grunts every time he flexed his growing body.

Next, the man's lower body started to grow, making him nearly a foot taller than he was before, towering over everyone in the building. His thighs thickened to over twice the size of his massive biceps, making him have the man spread to make room for all the muscle. Unsurprisingly it didn't take long for his pants to rip to shreds, leaving him in his comically small underwear. Though that wouldn't last long either. His flat ass got flooded with both fat and muscle, making it large and plump and creating a shelf over his thighs. His fat ass strained against the shockingly strong fabric of the underwear before overpowering them, bouncing as his cheeks tore right through them. His calves also grew quite thick and defined as his feet burst out of his shoes, becoming a monstrous size 20. Though the only downside is his impressive package shrunk from a massive 8 inches to an unremarkable 4 inches, looking small in comparison to his hulking body.

Finally the man's head began to change to match his body. His barely visible jawline looked like it got vacuum sealed around his jaw, becoming sharp as a knife. His brow bone became more prominent, adding to his manly appearance as a well kept beard spreads across his face. And his long flowy hair recedes into a military buzz cut.

By the time the transformation slowed, his skin had a bronze tanned color with a slick sheen of oil over it. Almost as if he was getting ready to compete.

"You fucking idiot. Look at the mess you've made. You need to clean this up ASAP, and you better hope that machine has some juice left for me or so help me god I will bury you six feet under Edward!" Mr. Derry blew up with rage, it almost looked like there was smoke coming from his ears.

The assistant stood up tall with his head up and his chest puffed out. Slowly taking steps towards his boss, making the ground shake with each step. As he got close, his brows furrowed and his grunt became deeper and louder. He bent down and yanked his boss by the collar, lifting the shorter man a foot off the ground to meet eye to eye.

"You think I need a fucking pipsqueak like you! You're nothing but a bug to step on. And my name is Evan, asshole! Remember it!" Evans voice booked across the room as he chuckled his former boss into the machine, breaking it in the process.

He stomped across the room and grabbed a black pair of underwear from the rack. Then he proceeded to waltz on stage, stealing the hearts of the audience.

Evan was the star of the show, winning an easy first place. Photoshoots, magazine covers, and sponsors were all he saw in his future. And he never saw his loser of a boss again.

[witherby]

ALREADY?? UH, PRAYING FOR YOU!!! YEAH YOU CAN DO THIS!! Let the voices win frfr. . .

Can't wait to read it... Mweheheh..

★🍋‍🟩

Mother Hen, A/B/O Edition

Or: the one where Hal reminds the Batfamily they are loved in little ways.

"Mornin, Alfred," Hal yawned, barely conscious as he shuffled into the dining room.

"Good morning, master Hal," Alfred greeted. He watched Hal slowly sink into a chair and placed his food in front of him. "Drink options this morning are fresh-squeezed orange juice, a fruit smoothie, or a glass of milk."

"Hmm..." Hal blinked heavily and gently grabbed Alfred's arm before the beta would withdraw from setting his plate down. He brought his wrist to his face and gingerly nosed it, breathing in the scent of jasmine tea with a tired smile. "Um...Juice s'fine...thanks a million..."

"Of...of course, sir." Alfred pulled his arm back when Hal let him go, disappearing into the kitchen with pink ears.

--

"Alright, got all my things. This weekend was fun, but I gotta head back to Blüdhaven. The precinct has been leaving me a concerning number of voicemails, so I can only imagine the circus I'm gonna find."

Dick shrugged his duffel bag over his shoulder and gave his brothers all a quick squeeze or noogie. Bruce gave him a hug, briefly encompassing him in dark chocolate, and told him to stay safe. Hal did the same, but gently nosed the gland at his throat, pushing packsafelove through his usual, airy scent.

"Go give 'em hell, kid," he said, drawing back. Dick pressed a hand over his neck, feeling a flush of warmth, and almost shyly bid goodbye to Hal before he left, clearly unused to such easy Omegan affection.

--

Jason awoke with a scream in the middle of the night, vision briefly overcome with green, green, green, and darted out of his room before the others could come in and crowd him. His scent left a trail of thick, bitter, omegan fear behind him, until he made his way into the library and tucked himself behind a bookshelf to calm himself down.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight and clapped his hands over his ears, trying to block out the sound of his own, ragged breathing. Everything felt like too much. His skin felt too tight. His body felt too heavy. His mind felt too busy. He needed it all to stop. He needed a grounding tool. He needed —

Jason sucked in another sharp gasp, and scented a calming, summer breeze. It was faint and unobtrusive, somewhere distant, but he latched onto it like a faint beacon of light amongst a raging storm. He chased that scent like a lifeline, until his skin stopped feeling tight and his body stopped feeling like lead and his mind finally started to slow and settle.

Then he crawled back out from the bookcase and approached Hal from where he was lounging in a chair across the library, an unobtrusive but clear position of support whenever he wanted it.

He didn't have to ask before Hal's arms opened up, wrapping tightly around Jason, and he scented his neck and cheek until the last of his tremors died off.

Safelovesafe, Hal pushed into his scent. Safelovesafe.

Jason rested his head on Hal's shoulder, trusting him to support his weight. Lovesafepack.

--

Tim hadn't managed to get out of the manor fast enough to avoid Hal snatching him up and nesting him during his pre-heat.

"This can't be helpful to you," he muttered, squirming from under the three layers of blankets Hal had burrito'd him into. "I'm a beta, remember? I can't smell any more interesting than a ream of paper."

"You're one of my pups. Shut up and deal with it," Hal said, throwing yet another blanket on top of Tim, before spooning his bundled body to his chest and nosing at the back of his neck so self-soothe. "You smell like coconut, by the way. And me, now, but your base scent is coconut."

"I don't own anything with coconut in it..." Tim mumbled. "Hey, I don't have to stay here, right? I'm gonna get heat stroke if the answer is yes."

Hal just kept nosing at the back of his neck. Tim tried to ignore how nice it felt and relented to his fate with a sigh.

--

Damian pushed his father's hand away when he went to feel his temperature and curled up further into his blankets. He already knew he was feverish; there was no need to touch him to confirm it.

"I think you're gearing up to present, buddy," Bruce told him. "I was thirteen when it happened to me, too, and your scent's been changing the past few days."

"Great. Is it gonna be this uncomfortable the entire time?" Damian groaned. "I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm hot again. I'm thirsty. Everything hurts. I think I'd rather fight off a hundred assassins in the League again."

"This should help," Hal said, knocking on the door frame to announce himself before walking in. He was holding a bundle of clothes, several articles plucked from everyone in the house, and started tucking them under Damian's blankets. "What do you think you're gonna be?"

"An alpha, obviously," Damian practically sneered, "like father. I have all the traits and qualities of a pack leader like him. What a stupid question."

Hal and Bruce exchanged a glance over Damian's shivering body, communicating wordlessly in the way only long-time lovers could. It was sickening and annoying.

"Spit it out," he hissed. He caught a whiff of cedar and followed it to Dick's hoodie, bringing it to his face and nuzzling into it. He was about to present so he could afford to do embarrassing things for a short time, like find comfort in the scents of his pack mates.

"Nothing, champ. Just hope you feel better quickly," Hal said, reaching down to ruffle his hair. "It shouldn't last more than a day."

"And if you need anything, someone's always gonna be outside the door keeping track of you," Bruce said, leaning down to nose against his temple gently. The comforting scent from his alpha helped abate some of the discomfort Damian was feeling, and he almost reluctantly nuzzled back before rolling over.

Two sets of footsteps made to walk out of the room, but Damian sniffed around his nest and frowned.

"Jordan," he called. Hal stopped and immediately returned to his bedside.

"Yeah?"

"...there's...nothing of yours is in here," Damian muttered, avoiding eye contact as he thrust his hand out expectantly. "Hand your shirt over immediately."

Hal laughed, but it wasn't mean. He obediently tugged off the t-shirt he was wearing and handed it over, and Damian added it to his collection before settling back down.

"You may go," the boy muttered. Hal hummed and grabbed his wrist again, nosing against it, and Damian didn't put up any resistance despite the flush staining his cheeks. "I'm not a babe in need of reassurance! Leave me!"

"Sure thing, kid. I'm taking the first shift, so holler if you need anything," Hal said.

Damian waited until he left the room before bringing his wrist to his neck and rubbing the Lantern's scent against his glands. It smelled like lovepacklove.

Maybe being an Omega wouldn't be so bad.

[weaselle]

i seem to always have a comfort drink. Like my baseline comfort drink is coffee -- even when i've been homeless and in the rain, or derailed mid travel plan and stuck in place with no idea what to do, if i can get a cup of coffee, i can have some small amount of feeling okay and like i have agency in my fate.

But coffee is just the baseline, i usually have some other drink that occupies the top spot of the day (actually more like of the month or season)

Not so much this winter but the two winters before this, my comfort drink was actually just any spicy broth (i particularly liked spicy shrimp like the ramen packets but without the noodles and i'd add a bunch of sriracha - like, a LOT a lot - or a broth made from chicken stock but proper simmered the chicken bones for a few hours stock, also with a bunch of hot sauce or cayenne)

Right now my comfort drink is a cup of this tea

with a packet of this

but you don't have to use the whole packet, you just use it as sweetener and add basically as much as you would add sugar or honey - i usually add about half a packet and it's still pretty sweet, tonight i wanted something as sweet as hot chocolate, so i used the whole packet, and it is hitting *chef's kiss* but i'm not always in the mood for so much sweet

with the tea bag, not only is the drink more delicious than the apple cider alone when using the whole packet of cider, but you never thin out the spiced flavor of the apple cider too much to taste good, because you've got the spice base sorted already, so you can really control the sweetness to your liking without sacrificing flavor.

I've also quite enjoyed the same thing with this tea

as well as liking it with a lemon zinger and a black "chai" which in the states seems to mean black tea with like, pumpkin pie spices (you know, allspice, clove, cinnamon and i always put a little ginger in my pumpkin pies too, anyone else?)

there's probably at least a dozen other teas in any big grocery store that would go good with apple cider too.

Hot Chocolate?

For that i go straight to the spice drawer. Start by making sure you include some milk or half and half or something, if microwaving you can mix half a mug of water and half of whole milk, or you can do like 1/4 mug of half&half or cream and just mix it with the water and mic it. That's where i'm coming from i'm not talking super gourmet by any means. But for all the gods' sake put some milk, even rice milk or almond milk or coconut milk in there to give your hot chocolate some bones.

Sorry, i mean if you just use water the hot chocolate will always feel too thin and unsatisfying, and you'll find you're trying to fix it by adding more and more of the powder until it almost becomes a syrup and then the chocolate taste is a bit strong by then. But if you have a cup of fats and proteins and natural sugars and things to start as your base, you get a drink that feels big and thick and rich and filling the way hot chocolate in your fantasy is. Or whatever, i don't know you, maybe you like watery thin hot chocolate as a hydrating drink while playing ice hockey or something who knows. Personally, sometimes i'll just straight up use a mug full of half & half or use a bunch of heavy cream if i'm feeling particularly decadent.

regardless, what i recommend is: you grab your instant cocoa powder of choice, and before you put it in your preferred liquid you mix at least a couple of these other powders into it.

a dash of cinnamon a sprinkle of nutmeg a dusting of powdered ginger a bit of ground cayenne a pinch of salt

You can do it per mug or you can premix your whole canister of hot chocolate.

For me, the cayenne and salt are mandatory. Huge difference, the salt really plays up the chocolate flavor and while ideally you probably don't actually taste the salt, but even if you put in enough that it's a little salty, the effect is like salted caramel. Like, sometimes i do it on purpose. And cayenne and chocolate is just one of my favorite combinations ever. So.

BUT! i've also had good results starting with a mug of whole milk and brewing in a bag of something like this

before adding plain instant hot chocolate (and l little bit of salt)

anyway, my little drink recipe fiddles

[lillaydee]

Shhh!!! Part 13

Celebrity!Joel Miller / F Reader

A reluctant celebrity contractor who has closed his heart for love meets a celebrity-hating Cafe on Wheels owner...

She HATES him. Thing is, he couldn't get enough of the coffee she makes...

Tag List:

@kirsteng42 @peelieblue @harriedandharassed @joelalorian @vickie5446 @inept-the-magnificent @maried01 @brittmb115 @peedrow @lovefreylove @jessthebaker @bunniboo0015

Let me know if you would like to be added/removed from the tag list.

Dividers by the awesome @saradika

Header by Moi cause I learned how to use Canva! Yay me!

WARNINGS: Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Celebrity Joel Miller, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy.

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 12

You introduced Dave to Joel, Tommy and Maria, who got up and politely shook his hand – apparently Cleo didn’t bother introducing him at all when she approached them. You were about to ask Dave how he was doing – you had known him a long time, and despite the way the two of you broke up, you were sort of amicable – you had never felt the need to make an enemy out of him, at least. He was a friend. But Cleo quickly spoke.

“I suppose I have no choice but to order from you for coffee… get me the largest cup of no foam latte you have. A quarter decaf shot, three quarters regular. Half organic soy milk, a quarter almond, a quarter coconut. Half a teaspoon of coconut sugar and half a packet of Splenda, and just a touch of vanilla syrup. Oh, and whipped cream and cinnamon powder on top. Chop-chop now,” she snapped her fingers at you.

Joel eyed her, and then you. You gave her one of your service smiles and turned around to go back to the truck. Maria got up to help you, but Joel stopped her, getting up to go with you himself, putting a hand on the small of your back.

“So, Joel… I was thinking… maybe we should get together before the consultation shoot? So I can tell you the general idea of what I want for the closet?” Cleo quickly cooed, pulling his free hand.

He pulled it back, telling her to speak to Tommy instead.

“But…”

Joel turned around and went into the truck with you, getting the cup for her order as you started making the espresso.

“You okay baby?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Didn’t like the way she spoke to you.”

“She speaks like that to everyone who is not famous, Joel. I don’t care. She doesn’t affect me.”

“Still, Tommy told me Angela accepted a charity thing on our behalf, and she just told us it’s with her. I don’t know if I want to work with her if she treats you like that.”

“A lot of people treat me like that, Joel. I don’t take it, but I don’t react to it either. I’m used to it, it’s all part of the business.”

“How do you remember what she ordered?”

You laughed, “Unfortunately, that’s not the most complicated order I’ve ever had. So, it’s all in a day.”

He watched you work as you finished the order. You brought the cup out and handed it to Dave, who muttered an apology, shaking his head. He handed Cleo the cup, the woman rolling her eyes at him. She put her smile back on as Joel sat back down, faltering a little when Joel pulled you down to sit next to him.

“So, what do you say? Drinks at my place? So you could see the closet yourself?” she asked Joel directly.

“You don’t talk to me about that. The closet people does the consult with you. You get that we only come in to shoot right? That it’s a show? We don’t actually build the closet?”

“Still… I think you should come… get the lay of the room…” she leaned on the table. “We should practice what to say. Maybe you could take a look at my bedroom too, for a real reno, one you could do yourself, off camera.”

You wanted to laugh. God, this woman is shameless. You didn’t, though. You’ve learnt to ignore her ever since she ran a campaign to smear your name since your Dad’s funeral.

“That’s a no, Savvant. We’re busy. We’ll do the shoot, since it’s for charity, but you’ll be dealing with Tommy for most of it. He’s the host. My shoots should be with the closet people,” Joel answered easily, taking your hand in his under the table.

“Okay! But let’s do a selfie. It’s for charity after all. We should promote it,” she exclaimed, standing up and pushing your chair away from his, shoving her phone in front of Joel’s face, sitting in his lap, face pressed up to his before he could even react, snapping the picture.  

He stood up, “What are you doing? Why would you do that? Don’t come into my personal space like that, I don’t even know you.” He turned to you, asking you if you were okay. You just nodded, Maria and Tommy just shocked at what just happened.

“Oh relax, it’s all for charity,” she said, fingers furiously typing on her phone and finally clicking on the screen with a flourish. “There, posted. You can’t back down now, fellas, or some charity is going to be very sad,” she mocked, picking up her cup and taking a sip.

She dramatically spat the coffee out. “Eww… what swill do you sell Lily? I’m surprised you’re still in business!” she cringed, dumping the still full cup in the sink behind your truck, snapping her fingers at Dave, walking away into the rec centre.  

Dave sighed, looking at you with regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry Lil. Hey, you okay? Saw that footage with the pap.”

“I’m fine Dave. Thanks for asking.”

“Truck looks great,” he said, looking at it fondly. He used to work with you before things got so… complacent and bland. The two of you met when he worked as a barista at one of your Dad’s cafés, it was one of your mutual loves. He took a ten dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to you, “For the coffee,” he said, shoving it into your hand when you shook your head.

“Dave! NOW!” Cleo screamed, and Dave drew a deep breath before joining her.

You watched as he disappeared around the corner at a run. You sat back down, Joel, Maria and Tommy staring at you in wonder.

“That guy left you for her?” Joel asked, disbelieving.

“Damn, I wouldn’t be with her if you pay me,” Tommy said, shocked at her behaviour. “No wonder you hate celebs so much.”

You just smiled, unbothered. You didn’t care. You were over it. It was a long time ago. And there was something about Cleo that made you feel… confident. That bitch would never win in a scrap with you. She’d be too worried her nails would break. You said so, out loud, and they laughed, Joel nodding furiously, having been at the receiving end of your wrath. He pulled you closer, dragging the chair next to him, placing his arm on the back of your chair, giving you a small peck on the cheek.

“I’m sorrier for you guys, having to work with her,” you told Joel and Tommy. “You heard her coffee order, imagine a closet. Brr…” you shivered.

“We don’t actually work with her, you know? That’s the closet people’s problem. We just go in and read off a script,” Tommy said. “And I don’t think you have to worry about Joel, he’ll mostly be shooting with the builders, I’m gonna do the rest. You saw her, it was like I don’t exist.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. Boy, she has a thing for your men, huh?” Maria chimed in.

“I don’t know, she’s only taken that one, but I hope she doesn’t try it again,” you turned to look at Joel, looking hopeful.

He scoffed, “Please, I already don’t like her. I only have eyes for you baby,” he cooed.

“Oof! Cheesy! No!” you cringed, making him laugh. “Give me a break,” he said, “I’m out of practice!” he slapped Tommy’s hand away, the younger man facepalming himself, laughing so hard the table shook.

Maria stopped laughing a little, pointing at someone behind you.

“Hi,” Dave cautiously approached, looking a bit guilty to have come back.

“Hey, something wrong?”

“Turns out, when you get community service, you’re supposed to serve the whole thing yourself, you can’t send your assistant in to do it for you, so… I have nowhere to go for a couple of hours. Do you mind if I hang out? I won’t if it’s a problem,” he looked at Joel.

“No, of course not. Come sit, Tommy and I are leaving in a bit anyway.”

The five of you chatted about nothing for a bit, before Tommy looked at his watch, telling Joel it’s time to go. Maria went with Tommy to the car to get her backpack while Joel said goodbye to you, giving you a sweet kiss, nuzzling his nose on your cheek, telling you he’ll see you later that evening. He shook Dave’s hand and left, turning to look at you one more time before disappearing around the corner.

“Wow, you two huh? I never thought I’d see the day you’d be dating a celeb.”

You cringed, a bit ashamed that he remembered how much you hated celebrities.

“I’m not judging, Lil, really. He seems like a great guy. Clean, not much gossip about him, unless you count him being grumpy gossip, and no controversy. You would never hear him be sentenced to community service, that’s for sure.”

“Cleo’s here for her community service huh?”

He nodded, and then zipped his mouth shut and threw away the key. You just smiled, nodding.

“Does he make you sign one?” he asked.

“An NDA?”

He nodded, looking impressed when you shook your head. “He must really like you. His agent is kinda notorious for that. Not just for him, for all her clients. Rumour is she has boxes of them just ready to hand out. But only for flings, apparently. So if he didn’t make you sign one…”

“It’s early days. I might just get one.”

“Honey, if I looked at you back then the way he does now, we’d still be together,” he said, regret filling his features.

“Life with Cleo not all roses?” you asked, going to the truck to get him something to drink.

“Unlike you, I was given an NDA. I was so stupid, so excited to be with her I didn’t even read it. I had no job, no one to turn to, was too egotistical to go back to you, so now I’m a glorified assistant who she sleeps with sometimes. Yay me!” he said, leaning on the counter, head down, looking so forlorn you felt bad for him. You handed him the iced tea you just made, and he sipped on it for a while.

“I know we’ve been okay with each other, but I’m sorry Lil. I’m sorry I was a manchild who got caught up in Hollywood and the glamour of it all. I should never have taken you for granted.”

“It’s okay Dave. It’s ions ago now, you’ve grown, learnt, right?”

“Oh that’s for sure.”

“If you’re so unhappy with Cleo, why don’t you leave?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not ready to accept what a loser I’ve become, you know? I left my little hick town telling everyone I was gonna make it big in Hollywood, and now, look at me. What do I have to show for myself?” he shook his head, playing with the condensation on his cup.

“Hey Lil,” one of your regulars called up. “Can I get two of my usual please?”

“Hey Zach!” you greeted him, reaching for two of your biggest cups. “Two huh? I haven’t given you an addiction have I?” you joked.

“Nope, you gave me something better,” he teased, smiling proudly at you.

You turned around, excited at his words. “No.”

“Yes! I got the job! I start today! I wanted to tell you sooner but you were closed!”

You passed the cups to Dave, telling him it’s two Americanos, extra shot, running out to give Zach a hug, pulling him to sit with you for a while. Maria came back, saying hi to Zach, having met him the week before for his regular daily coffee, where he told you he got an interview. She squealed when she heard the news, hugging him excitedly, congratulating him.

“It’s just a maintenance job, an apartment complex, but I got a room to stay at. I don’t have to pay rent. I can’t thank you enough Lil, really, you changed my life.”

Dave placed the two cups in front of him. “What’d she do?” he asked, swatting your hand away as you tried to silence Zach.

“This woman and her uncle not only fed me,” Zach said, his eyes glistening, “Her uncle let me stay with him from time to time when I had nowhere to go, she also nagged me into going to see the therapist here at the rec centre on top of the VA, let me help out every now and again for some daily pay, and got me some clothes to wear for the interview. So, no silencing me, Lil, you and your Uncle Bill changed my life,” he said, taking your hand in both of his, kissing it, thanking you again and again. “Thanks to the two of you, I have a job, I got help for my PTSD, and I can restart my life again.”

“We have a good one here,” Dave said, Zach and Maria nodding. You rolled your eyes and got up, smacking Zach with your apron string, telling him to go to work, giving him another hug. “Now go, you working man!” you yelled after him, excited to see him, so far removed from the angry man you had met when you were still a moving café.

“And you,” you turned to Dave, “I hope you didn’t poison the poor man with your first coffees in God knows how long!” realizing that you had just passed on the coffee making duty to him in your excitement.

“Hey, I was a barista for years, I know what I’m doing!” he exclaimed, hand clutching his chest, feigning offence.

Dave and Maria took turns helping you at the truck for the next couple of hours, him spending some time trying latte art again, teaching Maria the tricks, Maria excited to have produced a passable heart, taking pictures to post on Insta. She went to sit at a table for a bit to enjoy her cuppa when she froze, refraining a smile.

“Er… guys… you might want to see this,” she called. She showed you and Dave her phone, Cleo’s Insta page on the screen. The selfie she posted, the one with Joel.

You wanted to laugh at Joel’s disgruntled expression in it, so different from Cleo’s seductive one. But it was the comments that had Maria howling.

‘I have never seen anyone want to push someone off their lap more’

‘OMG – do you smell bad or something? He looks like he was staving off a stink!’

‘Girl, read the room. The man is obviously not happy to have you on his lap’

‘Tell me you don’t want to be there without telling me you don’t want to be there’

“Oh, shit,” Dave grumbled. “She’s not gonna be happy about this.”

Before you could ask what he meant, Cleo came out, shrieking at him to call her car, giving you a poisonous glare, clearly unhappy with you. “Shit,” he whispered, “I gotta go. Thanks for today Lil,” he said, winking at Maria, before running off with his bag.

“Wow, did you see the look she gave you?” Maria asked, shocked at how angry Cleo seemed to be with you. “What the heck did you ever do to her?”

“I have no idea.”

“Joel! Tommy! Wait up!” Angela’s voice stopped Joel and Tommy just before they could enter Tommy’s truck.

“Need a few minutes,” she gasped, breathing heavily from running in her pencil skirt and heels after the men with long legs and work boots on. “I emailed you, as usual, but just in case, since you’re here,” she handed them a piece of paper each. “Your schedule for the charity. I need you to approve. Or not.”

‘You can’t call us? We’re out of the way from your office,” Joel said, incredulous that this woman drove through traffic just to hand over two pieces of papers.

“Let’s just go through them before you bite my head off, okay?” she countered, asking them to look at the schedule. “So today didn’t work out, so we’ve rescheduled to Wednesday for an informal consult, no cameras. Just the three of you, the closet people and a writer and me and her agent, of course. Dinner. A quick one. In and out. And then we shoot the week after that. You guys are working, so you get to choose – night shoots, or the weekends.”

“What, she doesn’t have anything on her schedule?” Tommy asked, weirded out that a supposedly popular star like herself was free to let them decide the shoot schedule.

Angela shrugged. She looked at the two brothers expectantly, “Well?”

Joel contemplated for a bit. Night shoots were not his favourite thing to do. Especially now that he had you waiting for him. Weekends were his off days, he was definitely not working weekends. “How many days are we thinking?”

“That’s what the consult Wednesday would decide. It all depends on what she wants for the closet.”

“Say okay to Wednesday. We’ll decide on the rest then,” Joel said, opening the door to the truck. “Still don’t see why you had to run here,” he mumbled.

“This,” she said, rooting around in her bag, “Is why I’m here. I had meetings all morning, you had meetings all evening, you won’t let me go to your house, so…” she produced a box of the latest iPhone, handing it over to Tommy. “It’s all set up,” she said.

“Set up with what? Her sim card is with her,” he asked, opening the box, checking the phone, which lit up immediately when he touched the screen.

“I just asked them to install the usual, seeing as hers is damaged,” she explained.

“Because you dropped it trying to grab it from her,” Tommy blasted.

“Wait, you broke her phone? Why?” Joel barked, slamming the door back shut.

“It was an accident, Joel, I was just trying to do my job…” she began, nerves clear in her voice.

“Sarah took a picture of you and Lil kissing, and she wanted to delete it,” Tommy explained, “I was gonna tell you tonight.”

“Why would you want to delete it? My daughter can take pictures of me, why would you have a problem with that?”

“Joel… I just thought… with that thing at the sushi place, we need to be careful…”

“Should you delete everything in my phone too? Tommy’s? Maria’s? Ellie’s? What we have in our phones are none of your business.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. But here, I replaced it, I’m sorry.”

Tommy looked at the phone in his hands, swiping the screen. “You had stuff installed,” he muttered.

“Well, yeah, the basic ones. Ones I know she might use. That’s what they do at the store.”

Tommy handed the phone back to Angela. “I already got her a new phone. Just transfer the money.”

“But…”

“No buts, Angela. Just transfer the money, and don’t go touching my daughter’s personal belongings again.”

She nodded defeatedly, taking the phone from Tommy. “Sorry guys, it won’t happen again, I promise,” she said.

Joel and Tommy watched as Angela walked back to her car and drove away.

“Why didn’t you just take the phone?” Joel asked. “Did you really buy Sarah a new one already?”

“Nah, she’s using her old one for now. I just don’t feel good having Sarah use that phone all of a sudden.”

“Why not?”

“That night… she was way too insistent on going into Sarah’s iCloud to delete the photos. It just felt… off. Better if we let Sarah make the purchase and reimburse her. I don’t want her using anything Angela has touched.”

Joel looked at Tommy, the brothers trying to figure out what it was that they weren’t seeing.

“You know, my apartment’s gonna miss me if I keep staying here,” you told him. “And, I don’t have my stuff here, I need to go back to my apartment sometime. I can’t keep wearing your clothes to sleep in.”

“I don’t see a problem with that,” he said, getting into bed, “You don’t like wearing my clothes? No problem!” He peeled his ratty shirt off your body, covering every inch of exposed skin with kisses. You squealed, trying to get away from him. He pulled you closer instead, laying his head on your bare chest, face planted between your boobs. He lifted his head after a while.

“Do you really want to go home? I won’t force you to stay… I just… I want to enjoy you being here for a while. I have to travel soon, and I just want to spend every second I can spare with you and the girls. Please?” he pouted, making your heart melt.

“Fine… but I’m stopping at home tomorrow, get some clothes and my products. And roast some beans.”

“No…” he said, planting his face on your cleavage again. “Roast here, I want to see… I need to see what you put in there that makes the coffee so addictive.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sir. I don’t put anything in my coffee. I just roast it.”

“Fine. Keep your secrets, but I’m gonna make it my life’s mission to find out,” he said, kissing you.

Oh, who were you kidding. You didn’t want to leave. sleeping in his arms was just so… sigh…

He didn’t want you to leave. It’s been so long since he had someone in his bed. He didn’t know he could ever feel this way about anyone. He genuinely thought he was lovestruck with Laura. Turned out, he didn’t know any better. Laura was just what he knew. He was so young then. But now, with you, he realized how cold Laura was with him, even at the peak of what he thought was a great marriage.

He woke up the next morning after that first night with you spooning him, your face between his shoulder blades, your leg wrapped around his, your arm on his belly. He felt as if he was sleeping in the clouds. Never had he felt so relaxed, so content, so rested.

So loved.

Laura would never spoon him. She didn’t even want to hold his hand in public, much less kiss him, telling him she was averse to PDAs. He wondered if she did those things with Eddie. But ever since the two of you got together, you had never once pulled away from him, not even in public. Of course, so far, the public meant your truck and it’s vicinity, but that was a lot more than Laura had ever allowed, the doorway to the house being the most public she had ever kissed him. Joel was an affectionate man, he wanted to touch you at all times, and the fact that you were not shy to let him made him float high.

He was happy. He was in love. With you.

Of course, he would never tell you that, not yet at least. He didn’t want to scare you off.

The truth was, despite his insistence on finding out what your secret recipe was, he now knew it wasn’t the coffee that got him feeling all fluffy and gooey inside. He only used it as an excuse to keep you here longer. To spend more time with you. You had brewed the drip coffee he bought that first morning, the only coffee he had in his house. And that feeling he felt, the calm, the warmth, the bliss, it all came enveloping him as usual when he took his first sip. You ordered some beans from the store for him that day, teaching him how to use the machine you got him, where he spent the entire time wrapping you in his arms, asking you to demonstrate again and again just to hold on to you longer in front of the espresso machine, making up for all the time he wished he could have done that in your truck. And those cups gave him the same feeling. So he knew it wasn’t the coffee.

It was you.

And he didn’t want to let go. Not yet.

Joel got up as soon as he could, his chair scraping the floor of the private room in the upscale restaurant. That might have been the longest two hours of his life, listening to this vapid young lady try to decide her vision of her dream closet, changing her mind every other minute.

All he could think of was why on earth would Dave leave you for this… person? You were heavens above her. Layers of heavens. And from what he saw on Monday, she treated him badly. So badly. What did he see in her?

He was shocked at how she acted that morning with him, blatantly sitting on his lap as if they had known each other forever. Who does that? He purposely sat at the other end of the table from her tonight, going so far as switching seats with Tommy, focusing on his food and phone throughout the dinner, not wanting to meet her eyes.

Not that she didn’t try, she kept addressing him, despite everyone telling her that he actually did not have anything to do with the build. The special episode will be promoting the charity, sponsored by the company specializing in making closets. But it was as if everything went into one ear and came out the other. He really couldn’t stand being here anymore.

He wanted to go home. See the girls, see you. Wanted to slip into bed and hold you tight all night. He said a polite goodbye to everyone and headed for the door.

“Joel,” Angela called out. “You need to do a live for a bit, just to promote the special episode. It’ll be 5 minutes tops. Cleo will do the talking, you and Tommy just flank her and smile,” she told him, quickly adding when his grumpy face returned, “Or just flank her and not look like yourself for a while.”

“I posted that picture of us that morning but the picture came out bad, I had to delete it,” Cleo told him, “We need the live so we can promote it properly. It is for charity, after all,” she simpered.

He could see Tommy get annoyed. Maria was leaving for New York for a week the next day, and he just wanted to get home to her.

“Quick one, don’t touch me. None of that nonsense from Monday morning,” he warned.

“Joel, cool it,” Angela warned under her breath. She saw the picture that morning. She had predicted he would not be happy. She just hoped he would be okay tonight and cooperate.

She arranged the chairs for the three of them, Cleo reading the script Melissa, the young writer gave her, quickly touching up her face before getting in place. She ran the lines twice, simple, easy, quick in and out. Two minutes, tops, she told Joel and Tommy, seemingly professional for the first time since they met her Monday. She handed the phone to Melissa, who propped the phone up on her folder, giving the signal for the three to get in place, counting down with her fingers for Cleo to begin speaking to the thousands of her followers who were waiting for her live session, announced a couple of hours ago.

She delivered her lines, introducing herself, Joel and Tommy, telling her followers that she will be participating in a special episode of Build the Millers in support of the children’s hospital. She then proceeded to tell them about the good work and research the hospital had done over the years, and for people to stay tuned for more announcements on the special episode.

And then, after thanking her followers, right there on live streaming, she turned around, straddled Joel and gave him a full blown kiss on his lips.

Part 14

[heretyc]

Hiya!! I love your outlast writings and I was thinking, Franco's wife/lover setting up a date night for him in between trails. Like a candle lit dinner in the office of the Poison the Medicine or a movie night in the Pleasure the Prosecutor theater. Something that shows they care about him and wanted to do something Special!

Who-knows maybe they even made him his favorite drink using some Special milk they acquired from all thought anti-psychotics 🤭 Either way Franco's bouncing around my skull and Im happy to be here reading your fics 🥰

I'm so glad you like them!! I know I've only known the dude for maybe 3 weeks now, but he's so much fun to write for!! 💓 I haven't given Pleasure the Prosecutor much love, so this lil fic will take place in it. It's such a fun trial if not for the sitting and waiting for the mannequins lmfao. Reagent/MC is a woman simply because there's breastmilk involved! Under the cut for length.

"What's all this, huh?" A brow raised, Barbi looked around the theater with a hint of surprise and adoration; the sweet scent of artificial apple filled the space, and he realized he hadn't smelled it in a long time. A little too long. "My sweetness really knows how to make a man feel special," He snickered, walking closer to you. This place was more than familiar to him, and yet he felt like he was in someplace new...the combination of the lighting and the scent knew how to mess with a man's sense of familiarity.

"I have to show my appreciation somehow, right?" You teased, pulling out a chair for him; the theater was completely clean of mannequins - after Barbi stated how...creepy they really were - and the lighting was low. He sat down in the chair with a purr, taking your left hand and laying a kiss onto the ring he had placed on there weeks prior. "It feels like yesterday was the day we tied the knot," He lamented, leaning his head onto his hand as he watched you sit down across from him. "Y'know it's a gentleman's job to pull out his chair for his woman."

"Oh, hush," you chuckled, pouring liquid from a mixer into two glasses; a wine glass for you, a whiskey glass for him. "You've been quite the gentleman since I met you in that first trial."

"Swore you were the light of my eye, and it wasn't the sun symbol for that stupid fuckin' puzzle," Barbi snickered, his eyes soft as he watched you pour the liquid. He could smell the amaretto from here; wolf's milk. His beloved drink of choice. Despite making a face whenever you make it, you always make sure to welcome him with it. "I regret nothin'."

"Likewise." You winked, "So...I wanted to tell you something."

"My ear's are open, sweetness," His brow raised once more, a gloved finger tapping against the ratty tablecloth. "No judgement from me. You know that."

You cleared your throat, "Well...I've been taking too much antipsychotics, as of late. And...with all of the breast massages you've been giving me..."

Ohhh, Barbi could already tell what you were going to say. He gripped the tablecloth, his eyes wide with newfound excitement, "Oh my god."

"I had a feeling you'd know," you chuckled, "I'm lactating. And it isn't pus...it's legit breastmilk. So to surprise you, I added some to your-"

It didn't even register in his head before he took his glass and shot it back, humming and moaning in delight. "Holy fuck, sweetness," He rasped, slamming the glass down onto the table, "That...is fucking primo shit. Did you add coconut??"

"Nope."

Ohhh, how he loved coconut, how it reminded him of his days in Cuba as he slung drugs under the Caribbean sun as he sipped at pina coladas. Before he knew it, he slammed his hands onto the table, his eyes desperate and lidded, "Sweetness...take off your shirt."

You're surprised he had the patience to ask.

[camillelespanayesbtch]

I Left My Conscience On Your Front Door Step (18+)

Content: Brief smut, swearing, typical (and a-typical) Camille stuff

Word Count: 4098

Author's Note: I rushed the end, I'm sorry. I just didn't have the motivation :( I do have an idea for a series where Camille is a vampire if anyone is interested please send an anon!

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“Sorry it took so long, Camille. Two of the Starbucks didn’t have the shots you liked, so I had to drive to the other side of town,” you say even though the excuses meant nothing to Camille, but they calmed the anxiety that had been bubbling under the surface. That anxiety bubbled as you drove from store to store just to get her fucking coconut milk coffee with a double shot of the best espresso available from that corporation. You set the takeout cup down and only then do you realize you should have fixed something- the one mistake you’d made other than being late with her coffee.

Camille eyes the take-out cup, turning it around then looks at you, “They spelled my name wrong. It’s C-A-M-I-L-L-E, not fucking C-A-M-E-E. You’re still relatively new, I’ll let it slide this time but don’t make a habit of it.” She picks it up and starts to drink it, leaning back in her desk chair as she watches you, she enjoyed watching you stew over the little things.

“It’s not my fault they’re fucking stupid. They’re Starbucks baristas, not Harvard educated people,” you reply, checking your tablet for what Camille had going on that day and you too.

Camille snorts and shakes her head, “Don’t you get it, Yn? You work for me. Ergo, it means that you have to make sure things go well. Ergo, you have to ensure that the fucking Starbucks barista spells my fucking name correctly, got it?” She smiles at the end although it was one of her subdued anger smiles that lets you know if you piss her off again, you’ll be her glorified footstool for the rest of the day. You did make such a wonderful stool too, back straight and silent, just the way she likes you.

You swallow the lump in your throat and nod, your cheeks turning pink, “Yes, Camille. I’ll remember that for next time.” You would make sure that you did, whether it be making a note of it in your calendar or on the order itself- No, you couldn’t do that because then Camille would know that you were imperfect, and she always wanted perfection in every aspect of her life which now included you. You, her assistant, and according to the NDA you filled out with heated cheeks, her pretty little whore.

“Good,” she drinks another mouthful of her coffee before returning it to her desk, scrolling through her phone before her eyes meet yours. “This job isn’t easy, okay? But I need you to want this. I need you to want this job and everything it entails.” She had her fair share of assistants, and her last lot coupled up and it was the most pathetic little display she’d ever seen in her life. They fell in love with each other? Just as she finished paying off both their student loans? What a fucking coincidence. And Camille L’espanaye doesn’t believe in coincidences.

“I know. I know, and I do want this.” You meet her gaze, she always looked so perfect; the slightest hint of blue to the inner corner of her eyes, the sharp eyeliner that isn’t exaggerated, the soft fullness to her eyelashes, and her eyes themselves- a grey green that reminded you of aged jade, expensive, elite, rare, everything that Camille is. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this job and everything it entails.” You hadn’t been intimate with her until the third day of your new position, and she made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t going to touch you unless you had earned it and you hadn’t earned it yet. You had a feeling in your gut that you were never going to earn being fucked by her unless she was just going to use your body to get off herself.

Camille chuckles and shakes her head before tilting her head slightly as she drags her eyes over you, “Please. You’re here because I’m paying off your student loans. What were you trying to graduate with again? A master’s in psychology… Now look at you. Oh, you’d surely make such an interesting research paper on yourself, don’t you think? An assistant and a whore. You don’t fool me, Yn.” She rolls her eyes; you were just another nobody after her money so you didn’t have to pay off your own student debt and thought that selling your body to her would make it happen faster. She knew she was attractive, hot, sexy, so who wouldn’t want a chance to be touched by her? To even be close to the one and only Camille L’espanaye. She’d had people stumbling over themselves in the street trying to get to her to even say hi and then be ignored. You weren’t special.

Her words stung and you knew that was her intention; it was either this job or your degree, and being a waitress wasn’t cutting the loan repayments or even being close to covering rent. So, now you sell your body to your boss and do the dirty work for her too. The corner of your mouth twitches slightly in a brief smirk, “Oh Camille, you say that like you don’t enjoy when I eat you out under your desk.” You pout, “I’m wounded.” If you closed your eyes and thought about those times, you could still taste her on your tongue, a little tangy but mostly sweet with the slightest musk, and you would lap up every drop too just to savor her. 

The silver-haired woman looks slightly taken aback by what you’d just said, her tan cheeks taking on the slightest pink hue to them, almost matching the lipstick she often painted her lips with. “I enjoy getting off, the person that does it doesn’t matter to me. You keep talking to me like this, and I’ll find someone who won’t run their pretty little mouth as much as you.” She crosses her legs and drinks another mouthful of her coffee, her pupils dilating as she remembers how eager you were to eat her out the first time- the sparkle in your eyes, the devotion you looked up at her with, it was that moment that she knew you were just a stray dog that needed just a little more training. The first time you only managed to make her cum once with your mouth before you got sloppy because it was aching too much, your fingers finished her off, but she was pissed and told you to get better. How did you get better? Cleaning her heels and boots with your tongue until they showed her reflection, she didn’t realize how wet that made you until she heard you in the bathroom masturbating.

“I’m sure you enjoy it more than you’re letting on, Camille,” You head back over to the couch, leaning back against it and looking through the tablet again. This little device was the holy grail of information, and if you lost it, Camille would have your head on a platinum Cartier plate. She couldn’t afford to have the information you were dealing with slip into the hands of the wrong person because then it’d make her look bad and there’s one thing that’s consistent with her- she always looks really fucking good.

Camille narrows her eyes at you, it’d be so fucking easy for her to slap you, to hit you, choke you even- leave welts on your skin from the claw marks her nails leave, but she doesn’t. She wants to, God does she want to see your pretty skin marked up because of her, hear the way you whine and moan and hiss as she does, then as she touches each one as a reminder of what had happened. She takes a breath and exhales slowly like she’d seen on those shitty mindfulness videos that circulate around. She didn’t like your cockiness, only she was allowed to be that cocky. Only her. “Did you get the information on Victorine like I asked?”

“Of course I did, Camille,” you put the tablet to the side before looking through your bag, you’d had a number of documents printed and stapled together so she didn’t have to deal with the same mess of papers you had. You pull them out of your bag before heading over to her.

“Took you long enough. I require things I ask of you in a timely manner, Yn. Not at your earliest convenience. Mine.” She takes the papers from you and flicks through them, her eyes quickly scanning the pages, her lip twitching, “Is this it? That’s all you got? How am I supposed to nail her down with this shit?” Camille tosses the documents, the pages fluttering through the air before hitting the ground in front of her desk. Couldn’t you do one fucking thing right today?

You chew your bottom lip, stopping yourself from peeling a piece of skin from it like you had a nasty habit of doing, “That was all I could find-“ Your cheeks flush at her unimpressed stare, butterflies in your stomach much like the papers, they float around before hitting the bottom with a dull thud. “I’ll go look again, Camille.” How could you have been so stupid as to think that this would be enough? You’re a smart woman, you should have known better than to hand her some falsified documents that could be brushed under the rug fairly quickly. Try harder. Do better.

“Yes, you will go look again, Gina.” She drinks some more coffee before deciding that she’s had enough, tossing it in the bin then screwing her nose up when the lid pops off and spills coffee into it. “We both know this woman is killing innocent animals left right and center. And we both know that the only animals that deserve to die are men,” she looks at you and smiles, “So, go find me something more useful than pages of words.” Camille drums her nails against the desk, tilting her head slightly as she watches the little cogs turn in your head- she wondered if there was a little hamster or other vermin running around.

“Yes, Camille, I agree with you- I’ll keep looking,” you pick the documents up and go back to the couch to look again. There were multiple avenues that you had access to, seeing things you never wanted to see again, reading things you never wanted to, and oh- “I found a feed from the room they do the surgery in. Victorine front and center along with her wife. Nobody likes seeing animals getting hurt.” The video made you feel ill, incredibly so, so you look away before what little breakfast you had resurfaced.

Her head shoots up from her phone, her eyes twinkling with unbridled glee, “Oh? Video footage? Do show me, puppy.” She holds her hand out expectantly, taking the tablet from you once you place it in her outstretched hand. And like the obedient little doggy you are, you gently place it in her hand, being careful to not catch her acrylic nails which so often dug so deliciously into your scalp.

“She’s right there helping her wife with the surgery, that’s damning enough, isn’t it?” You hoped it was anyway- You didn’t really understand Camille’s hatred towards her siblings, in the sense that outside of the awful things they were doing you couldn’t see it as your run-of-the-mill sibling hatred, the feeling she had- That was barely contained rage, disgust, like if she could, she would kill the woman and spit on her grave, but that was beneath Camille, she’d much rather have you do the dirty work instead. You watch her reaction to the video, the video you found, and hoped it would satisfy her after screwing up with the written documents. But you should know by now, Camille is rarely satisfied.

“There’s no audio. It’s okay, but it could be better,” she pouts, restarting the video to watch her half-sister butcher a poor chimpanzee. While she was partially doing this for purely selfish reasons, she couldn’t help but feel bad for the animals being experimented on and she knew once she screwed her half-sister over, they would be free from being used as guinea pigs for the stupid heart mesh. Good idea in theory, but Victorine was stupid.

You take an unsteady breath, picking at your fingers behind your back so the silver haired beauty wouldn’t notice, “The audio version is bound to be out there somewhere. It’ll just take some time to find it.” You weren’t sure about that actually, for all you knew, that was the only video footage of the brutality. You wonder if Camille knew you were bluffing about that, she’s a smart woman, she’d know.

“Usually, surveillance videos don’t have any audio, smarty pants,” she remarks, eyes still glued to the screen, the faintest hint of a smile on her face as she replays the video. Even without the audio, Victorine was fucked. F-U-C-K-E-D.

“Usually, scientists record their experiments in more ways than one, so, there’s bound to be a version with audio out there somewhere.” You take the tablet back, Camille almost pouting when you do. You knew this would be good enough for now, it could be explained away as an accident- But how do you accidentally cut open a chimpanzee and force your shitty heart mesh around its heart just to prove that your product works when you know it doesn’t.

Camille nods and looks at you, “I like the way you think. You’re not afraid of anything, are you?” She needed someone fearless to be able to do this work, fear inhibits the ability to find the dirtiest of information and she couldn’t have that. Not in her line of work, your line of work. You were going to be her dog with a bone, a nose for sniffing out the filthiest information, and the ability to spin it almost as good as she does.

Your cheeks color and you look at the ground before meeting her penetrating gaze, “Fear stops you from doing things and taking what you deserve. I wouldn’t be here if I let fear get the best of me.” You remember applying for an interview and shaking your head because you really didn’t have much to offer her at all- you had heard rumors about what she asked of her assistants, but you didn’t take them to be true. She had stopped you before you sat down, inspected you like you were a piece of meat, and you couldn’t deny how hot it made you. When you read through the NDA, your cheeks had burned, and you squirmed in your seat much to Camille’s amusement.

The corner of her lip turns up in a smirk as she sits back, raising a brow, “You’re scared of me.” She tilts her head slightly and runs her eyes slowly down your body, while the uniform she chose left too much to the imagination, she loved how it made you look. Like you were going to her to be taught something, and you were. She was your teacher, and you were her good little student, doe-eyed and expectant.

You feel your cheeks take on more color, they were bound to be a deep red by now, and you hated yourself for the reaction. You weren’t scared of her, right? Your heart rate did increase when you were around her, butterflies fluttering in your stomach, but that wasn’t fear? Unless you misunderstood those reactions and were actually experiencing bouts of anxiety when around her. “Why would I be scared of you?”

“Because I’m fucking terrifying, look at me,” she gestures to herself, she didn’t have to sell herself to you because she knew the look in your eyes, the desire, the want, the lust. Yet you were still timid about showing it, not always, but most of the time. There was just the faintest flicker of fear in your eyes, she could see it even if you didn’t want to admit it. It made her hot.

You let out a bit of a chuckle, shaking your head, “You’re hot and intimidating, Camille, but not terrifying.” It didn’t take much for her to intimidate you, she could back you up against the wall and your breath would catch in your throat before a burning heat settled itself between your legs, your lips parted, and pupils blown. Maybe that was fear. And fear does strange things to your body when it involves one Camille L’espanaye.

“That’s because you haven’t seen me,” she smirks, running her tongue over her upper teeth much like an awaiting lion does when it sees prey. “You’ll see,” it was a promise, one way or another you would see her, and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on you when you do. When you do realize just how fucking scary she can be, then she’ll fuck every single thought out of that head of yours until you’re a pretty little doll for her.

“I can’t wait then,” you smile despite the brief flicker of anxiety that goes through you at her look, you didn’t mind being treated like a doll but this look was different, it made your breath catch in the back of your throat, and made you rub your thighs together briefly, subtly in hopes she would notice but of course she does- she always does. “You’d be surprised what I find attractive, Camille.”

“Oh?” Her smile grows and somehow her teeth seem sharper than before, she loved where this is going and it excited her deeply, “We have yet to talk about hard and soft limits. I know we’ve already fucked, but limits were never discussed.” She wasn’t a freak that didn’t respect those things, she took them seriously and would respect you outside of the bedroom while she was disrespecting your perfect body in the bedroom. She absolutely loved the sounds you made and how you looked with pretty bruises and bite marks all over.

“You’d listen to that?” You ask in disbelief before apologizing, she hadn’t indicated that she wouldn’t listen to you in bed, in fact when you’ve asked her to slow down previously, she has- same with when you asked her to stop. She was ruthless but she wasn’t a monster. You take a breath, taking the pad of paper on her desk and pen before writing them down, “You’re not a freak, are you?” You look at her, “Not into that piss or crap stuff because I’ll quit right now if you are.”

Camille screws her nose up in disgust, offended you’d even ask her such a thing- she’s a classy woman, not some bottom-feeder, “Ew, fuck no.” She gags, getting herself a coconut water to wash down the bad taste you’d put in her mouth, “I just want to know what you like so when you’re not servicing me, I can make sure you’re having fun too.” Her eyes follow every stroke of the pen, the longer the list of your green-light things grows, the more the fire builds in her stomach, the stronger the electricity surges through her veins.

“Good,” you hand the list over to her, your cheeks coloring when you see a wolfish grin. “I think you’ll be surprised the extent of things I find enjoyable.” You bite back a squeak when she points to the ground in front of her seat. You quickly move into position, your fingers itching to touch her creamy thighs, “Please-“

“Hm?” She looks at you over the top of the list you just wrote for her, “Please what? You can’t already be that desperate.” She looks back at the list, “Then again, the list does just scream desperate little slut. I wonder if I can get a stamp made just for you, stamp it right on your forehead so you see it every time you look in the mirror.” She chuckles at her idea, rather pleased with herself. “Yes, I think you’ll find a place that makes custom stamps so I can have one. Be a good little puppy and do that for me, hm?” Camille reaches down to pat your head, her hand moving down to stroke your cheek after, thoroughly enjoying the way you melt into her touch.

“A- A stamp? I suppose I could do that. Do you want me to do it now? I-“ You grab your tablet to start looking, ignoring the pain starting to grow in your knees the longer your kneeling on the tile flooring of her office. You quickly find a place that makes custom stamps, holding up a selection of colors up to her so she could pick, “I think the red is nice.”

Camille hums, “It would be more bold, wouldn’t it? Harder to hide, and more likely to stain, how fun.” She grins and nods for you to get on with it before focusing back on reading through your list of kinks.

“Red,” you repeat quietly before looking back at your tablet and order the stamp, your cheeks starting to burn at the text she wanted on it. Your mind starts to wonder about what the people who were in charge of making these custom stamps would think of this one, but they were also likely to have received far worse than this. You clear your throat, “I’ve ordered it. Estimated time is two weeks.”

“Always so quick to do what I ask of you,” she smiles, putting the paper on her desk before stroking your cheek, her hand moving down to cup your jaw and tilt your head up. She runs her thumb lightly under your bottom lip as her eyes stare into yours, her lip twitches when you press a soft kiss to the pad of her thumb before parting your lips to suck on it lightly. Camille lets out a pleased sigh, her pretty eyes darkening, “Such a good little puppy, aren’t you? So damn eager to please.”  She lets you suck her thumb a little longer before pulling it out and spreading her legs, “Come on, you’ve earned a treat.”

You gently rest your hands on her legs, moving closer so you could press kisses to her thighs. Her skin felt like silk, you could smell the lotion she uses and you found yourself never wanting to smell anything else. You go to graze your teeth against her skin but Camille tugs your hair roughly, “Don’t bite me,” she warns, only letting go when you rush out an apology. You kiss her skin again, murmuring another apology before carefully pushing her skirt further up her hips, your eyes darkening when you see her panties. You hook your fingers into them and tug them down. According to Camille, you were taking too long so she grabs your head and forces you between her legs. You let out a moan when you get your first taste of her, your tongue running through her folds and eagerly lapping her up. You swirl your tongue around her clit lightly before wrapping your lips around it and sucking gently, your finger starting to tease her pussy. You slowly push into her, gasping when her nails dig into your scalp, holding you firmer against her as you start to finger her. The louder Camille became, the more eagerly you pleased her, not stopping until you feel her gush against your face, and even then you lap her juices up not wanting to waste a drop.

Camille lets go of you and you rest your head against her lap as you both catch your breath, “Fuck,” she says after a few moments of heavy breathing, “I should get you to do that more often.”

You look up at her with twinkling eyes, “I’d stay under your desk if I could. That’s how addictive you are, Camille.” She chuckles and pats your cheek before leaning back and closing her eyes. “I’ll get you a coconut water-“

“No,” she cuts you off, “Just- Just sit, please.”

“Okay,” you smile and relax against her, wrapping an arm around her leg and closing your eyes too, the only sound in the room was your breaths. You didn’t want to think about it too much, her asking you to stay, what it meant, the consequences because that would ruin the content feeling that was washing over you and you didn’t want that. You just wanted to enjoy being this close to her. To enjoy being allowed to be this close to her. Camille, what an enigma.

[crunchyapple33]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤin depth about meㅤ!ㅤ

[note: this is insanely long, i mean it when i say 'in depth' (or: i don't know when to shut the fuck up). all key words are in bold for anyone who doesn't care all that much /silly]

the general segment

hi everypony !! my name is zachary, zach, whatever floats your boat. i am 19 years old, born november 24. i am a sagittarius sun, virgo moon, and a libra rising. whatever that means, if anyone likes that stuff, feel free to tell me what it means 😭

fun fact: i actually use my birthdate here in every single one of my alternate realities. it just feels so perfect to me. aaaaah

i use he / him pronouns, i am a boygirl gaybian (although i prefer if only i call myself a girl), and some labels i find that suit me the best are:

sapphillean,   ambonec,   fleurian,   boygyne

i live in the usa (unfortunately), and have never left my state. i have a map of the united states that i use to chart what state plates i've seen driving around my area. i've found: montana, utah, arizona, nebraska, oklahoma, texas, michigan, indiana, ohio, tennessee, mississippi, georgia, north carolina, virginia, new york, main, new jersey, connecticut, rhode island, and massachusetts. i've only started charting what states i've seen this year, but my favorite plate i've seen was a hawaii plate back in 2019. (although i don't agree with the idea of them being a usa state, but i can say that for the entirety of the country so i digress)

my favorite color is a golden yellow (around #ffae00), my favorite number is 33 (shocking right?), my favorite drink is a dr pepper, my favorite food is... idk probably watermelon honestly. so good omfg

my current fixation: rupaul's drag race, reality shifting / law of assumption

the favorites segment

my (current) favorite song: run away with me - carly rae jepsen (i only recently discovered this song and its tearing me apart /pos)

my (current) favorite movie: running strong, my favorite movie for the past 10 years is 'the d.u.f.f'. it came out 2015, and i've been in love with it since. it's a fucking terrible film, cheesy as all hell, but damn it if it doesn't comfort me to no end.

my (current) favorite musicians: halsey (her 2015-2017 discography has a tight grip on me), ninjasexparty (give them a chance.. despite the name of their band, they're really good. i recommend 'danny don't you know', and '6969'), and pigeon pit. my all time favorite band. i'm in genuine love with them. (i haven't listened to their newest album yet which hurts my very soul but . i recommend 'no breaks' and 'milk crates'.. hey it rhymed!)

my favorite book: out of my mind by sharon m draper. please please please read it it's so phenomenal. if you have a hard time reading, the movie for this book came out last year on disney plus and it's absolutely great and so fucking realistic. please read it or watch it im actually begging

favorite youtuber: tbh it's been markiplier since 2014 lmfao. jacksepticeye introduced me to mark so they're forever deeply entwined together in my mind. i know, boring basic answer but whatever

favorite flower: tiger lily!!

favorite scent: uhhmm i like vanilla, my favorite perfumes are all by body fantasies. i like their japanese cherry blossom scent, and their coconut fantasy scent. i reallllly want axe body sprays' 'apollo' scent tho

favorite season: winter !!!

favorite weather: rain!!! especially if it's super sunny / clear skies while it's raining. i call this 'rainbow weather' hehe

my (current) favorite tv show: rupaul's drag race EASILY.!!!! it's been a reoccurring hyperfixation of mine for 5 years now. i'm insane about this show. even if i think i've escaped it's autistic grasp on me, i fall right back into this damn show

my (current) favorite drag queens: lydia b kollins, kori king, raja gemini, manila luzon, adore delano, daya betty

additionally: lydia b kollins and kori king are my s/os in several of my ars (if not all, once i get to making more hehe), and i know there's not that many drag race shifters so i'm not concerned about people who also are with them, but i still feel the need to share this<3

fun fact: my twitter handle is actually a song lyric from one of manila's songs<3

the disorders / etc segment

a great segue into.. what disorders i have ! not much has been properly diagnosed due to a bunch of different reasons, but they've all been things i've heavily looked into, and been confident in for years.

i am autistic, i have ocd, c-ptsd and adhd. i am hard of hearing (medically recognized), major depressive disorder (medically recognized), general anxiety (medically recognized). oh, yea, and i have osdd. i am only dyslexic coded . maybe i'm just super illiterate. we'll never know /silly. alleged synesthesia that i haven't properly looked into yet. i have dermatillomania, thaomniphobia, and teranyctophobia

thaomniphobia: a term coined by me, which is the fear of dying in my sleep teranyctophobia: a term coined by my friend, which is the fear of monsters in the dark

i have 4.. ish.. skin conditions? wait lemme look. okay yea, general acne, sebo-psoriasis, terra firma-forme dermatosis, hidradenitis supprativa. honeslty jsut adding this bit in case anyone else has these conditions; so you feel less alone <3

i am in therapy as of last month :D

next fun fact: i tried watching adventure time and only got through 4 and a half episodes of the first season. i found it extremely boring ...

the likes and dislikes (additional dni) segment

some things i like:

(a lot of this is copy pasted from my intro post, but i deleted info i have already stated in this current post!)

descendants,   life is strange,   yellowjackets,   mythic quest,   mcu,   craig of the creek,   rick and morty,   tarot,  sims 3,   age regression,   self shipping,   penguins,   foxes,   therianthropy,   solarpunk movement,   rpf,   bob's burgers,   american dad,   spongebob squarepants,   boyre aesthetic,   folk punk genre,   fanfiction,   my little pony,   community 2009,   solitaire,   sudoku,   crystals

kin list:

wilford warfstache, morgie le fay, unikitty, pinkie pie, my friend pine (inside joke but still counts to me /silly)

some things i dislike:

tldr, this is basically another dnf in some capacity. i also block freely so listen or don't listen, genuinely don't care. i'm not the biggest fan of 'byf's anyway. u don't rlly need to take this 100% serious

c.ai,   shifttok,   pro-israel,   heavy talk of christianity (mainly in the sense of if you're like.. pushing your religion onto other people. first day i made this acc i saw someone say like "idk if you are christian but just know god loves you!!" like ??!?! thats fucking insane and soooo... are you listening to yourself???? okay rant over),   maga maggots,   terfs,   anti-ageres,   anti-kins,   anti-polyamorys,   if you think pronouns equal gender (ex: he/him lesbians),    cops / authority figures, coca cola,   if you villainize an entire dog breed,   flag discourse,   being late to appointments,   fancy fonts (screen readers deserve love),   harry styles,   taylor swift,   chappell roan,   "kurt cobain wasn't murdered!",   "princess diana's death wasn't planned!",   "marilyn monroe wasn't murdered!",   people who say others with complicated identities aren't human (like lesboys),   people who are "anti good faith identities" (what?)

aesthetics that i connect with:

if it's possible to kin aesthetics, these would be it !

2010s internet,   soft grunge,   twee,   after hours,   bastardcore,   tropical coquette,   coffinwood,   waif,   cottagegore,   cozy childhood hideaway,   folk punk,   kinderwhore,   nostalgiacore,   northernness,   mallgoth,   midwest gothic,   bubble goth,   indie sleaze,   olderbrothercore,   solarpunk,   soft apocalypse,   rainy day,   trailer park princess,   trashy raver,   trinketcore,   whimsigothic,   whimsy twee

honorable mentions:

2014 girly,   babycore,   bloomcore,   this cool image i found,   dethereal,   música metro,   glitter poppare,   starrflesh,   southern gothic,   pale waves' singer heather is on this page :D,   scene tween,   rebel academia

fun fact: i am left handed!

the agere segment

adding this since i've seen other little shifters, but i am also an age regressor :3 my little ages r usually like .. 4-8 . so if anyone wants to talk abt that stuff in my inbox (vents, anything not pertaining to me in specific, are also included) go ahead !!

off topic but you can literally say anything in my inbox, feel free. specify if you want me to not post it if you want, i won't tell a soul<3 (i am also notoriously behind on inbox messages on my other / 'main' acc (like by 100 inboxes) soooo ... Sobs)

fun fact: the 'wedding finger' is typically your left ring finger, and some people think that the reason for that is because that finger is the only one with a vein that goes all the way to the heart. it's called the 'vena amoris' or, the vein of love<3

the alterhuman segment

i am very not human feeling . i'm like if the body of a deer and emotions of a dog had a child. and also had the tail and ears of a fox. but also if that deer-wolf-fox morph was pure consciousness and was nothing and everything at once. but is also inhabiting the body of a teenage polish-american kid on many pain medications. who also feels like the embodiment of thunderous rain and a heavy snow storm.

very that

fun fact: dagames commented on my youtube video in 2016 once. so he definitely just looks up his name on youtube and watches everything. i don't even watch him tho i was forced onto one of his streams and his admin banned me from chatting so i made a video abt it and wlll commented on it

the political segment

i am anti government . anti economy. pro immigration. pro separation of church and state. pro land back. anti taxes (unless they'll start using the money to benefit people). anti military. pro drugs. i took a test online as per my class assignment to gauge my political standing and it said i'm a left libertarian. so take that as you will but i also just consider myself a left libertarian in action, but an anarchist at heart.

i think time, money and gender are social constructs. i am anti cop. only law i believe in is loa. anti authority. anti israel. pro theft from big corporations. anti homelessness (In the way of . give people fucking houses???? government with millions of dollars????) anti rent. anti war. i think we should restructure the school system completely. pro bodily autonomy. anti declawing animals. eat the rich

(i add this all just in case anyone is curiosu ....i also say all of this from an american standpoint)

fun fact: my cat is a lovable asshole who wont stop moving in front of my eyesight as i type all of this out

the crystals segment

i have 40 crystals!!! i got them all from a zen shop in a mall a few cities away from me (which im going again this friday (4/25/25!!!) what ones should i get next...)

4/26/25 update: i got a lemon citrine!!!! it's a calm crystal, so it's a smooth circular crystal and it's so beautiful!! i'm creating a pocket altar for Apollo soon so i'm gonna keep it in there but alternate from keeping it on me to stim with and keeping it in his altar from time to time :)

my favorites are my blue apatite and my opalite!! i carry them with me whenever i go out hehe

i have: 1 rose quartz, 1 clear quartz, 5 howlite, 1 adventurine, 5 agate, 1 bloodstone, 1 dalmation stone, 1 opal, 2 lapis lazuli, 4 milky quartz, 1 prehnite, 1 snowflake obsidian, 1 sodalite, 1 zebra marble, 1 fake turqoise, 1 crackle quartz. 1 carnelian agate, 1 hematite, 1 brecciated jasper, 1 cherry quartz, 2 amethyst, 1 calcite, 1 blue apatite, 1 satin spar gypsum, 1 rutilated quartz, 1 citrine

fun fact: i actually have a good amount of obsidian that isn't listed above, because it's super sharp and easy to break, so my mom put it in her safe to keep it safe lol

extra fun fact: i asked the r/crystals subreddit about what crystals could help me sleep better and the majority of the comments were calling me crazy for believing in crystal magic or whatever </3

the pagan segment

i really want to look into a few pagan religions!! i grew up without any religion because my mom was raised the same way and so she believes that i should be as well so i could explore religion independently without it being forced onto me growing up. (i absolutely love this idea and will be using it in a future parent ar... i mean WHAT i said nothing /silly)

i've talked about a few times now, wanting to look into hellenic polytheism (is that how it's spelt?) or aka the greek gods !! especially apollo hehe.

i also would love to look into heathenry (aka asatru) which is a pagan religion following the norse gods!

another one i wanna look into is rodnovery, which is actually a slavic pagan religion!! like i said a little bit ago, i am polish american. i am 4th generation american, and my mom is 3rd gen, her dad is 2nd, his dad is 1st, and then his dad is the son of the lady who came to america with him and his brother. so my great great great grandmother came to america in 1910! afaik my polish family has always been pretty christian, but i believe it was because.. historically, as we are all aware, christianity has been forced onto many different groups of people, poles included.

i've looked into it, and as late as the end of the 10th century (or the years 901-1000 if anyone has a hard time following that type of terminology), poland had fallen into a period of christianisation and much of the native polish faith of rodnovery was lost to time due to that. and i know that like . that was a LONG time ago and whatnot but . i would like to follow that religion because i can only imagine what ancestors i may have had who were forced to abandon their beliefs for christianity. is that too empathetic? /gen , idk how to word it. especially that my .. great great grandparents (had to think abt it LMFAO) actually founded the local polish christian church, as well as the local polish cemetery (my area is like . 50% italian, 25% poles 25% jewish ppl LMAO it makes sense *nodding emoji cuz idk where to find it*) . and my grandmother on my dads side actually wants me to get baptized because she's a christian and she wants to know i'll be safe when she's gone. but i just like the idea of getting to relight the torch of rodnovery that was forcefully extinguished forever ago idk

the only true downsides, is that both heathenry and rodnovery has gotten a lot of ... Really Bad People using the religion as a security blanket to throw their white supremacy onto :( . i've watched a video on actual heathenry followers who were very upset about the trend of people using their religion as an excuse to be racist and like . /i/ know i'm following the religion sincerely, but would other people just jump to conclusions based on what they've heard ? idk it's probably a stupid thought to have but like . idk whatever rip

4/26/25 update: i am now a proud eclectic pagan :)) i wish to look into worshiping Aphrodite, Apollo, Artemis, Demeter, Hestia, Zeus; Lucifer; and probably many more !!!! i'm preparing to make Apollo's pocket altar this upcoming week :))

fun fact: one of my friends when i was like 6 tried killing me . she convinced me to go onto the roof of the apt building we lived in and like the whole thing was very pebbly. big rocks small rocks every kind of rock. so we walk close to the edge to look around and she tries shoving me, but i tripped onto a few rocks and fell to the ground instead

the etc segment

man this took me like 3 days to write. last updated 4/26/25 <3

last fun fact: i'm recording my cat rn to see if i cant catch her dreaming . but also ummmm my favorite car is a 1957 chevy bel air. i collect tiny toy old car models. the toys themself aren't old but the model is old . so i have a toy model of the 57 chevy bel air for example

[arctic-hands]

My milk journey has been

First meal: rice porridge with breast milk

Start dropping weight and can't stay out of the bathroom by age seven, get told to avoid dairy so mom buys Lactaid milk for a year. Whole family despises it and Mac and cheese in particular is now terrible and avoided. I'm still very sick anyway

Be diagnosed with Crohn's at age nine. Resume consuming regular dairy

Twelve-ish: begin to feel a little distress at eating ice cream. Does not stop me from accepting a Dairy Queen cheesequake blizzard reward for single handedly winning a science class quiz game that was supposed to be played in teams but no one wanted me. By sheer force of will and remarkable sphincter control for an IBD patient, mange to wait it out get home that day before having a violent reaction.

Thirteen: throw up violently at school after having cheese sticks for my free lunch. Convince myself it was just the greasiness of the meal that set me off

Fourteen: go into high school conceding the point that I'm lactose intolerant. Unsuccessful at lobbying the head principal to provide lactose free strawberry milk. Start paying more money than a lunch would have even cost if I didn't qualify for free lunch at the snack bar for juice or V8 in order to not go thirsty at lunch. Repeatedly throw up when the only option for lunch other than the very popular spicy chicken every Wednesday that I couldn't tolerate mouth-wise or gut-wise was the same cheesesticks that I had in middle school

Sometime later in high school: discover the Meijer's house brand of lactose free milk actually tastes decent.

Seventeen-ish. Find a hair in the carton of Meijer's lactose free milk and swear off it forever. Try rice milk

(Also an aside at seventeen: develop celiac disease and I thanked my lucky stars that it was polite enough to have waited until I was done with wildly ableist school and too old to trick or treat)

I forget which age but I was a fresh and new adult: discover rice milk ice cream. Desperately pretend it tastes and feels like real ice cream.

Shortly after: try coconut milk. It's tasty, but hardly a neutral milk-like taste and doesn't go well when mixed with other ingredients. Coconut milk ice cream is likewise lackluster

Nineteen? Discover the boxed and shelf stable almond milk. Begin to have hope.

Twenty: find out they started making a cartoned and refrigerated almond milk that tastes brilliant

Twenty three? Realize I have forgotten the taste of dairy milk. Almond milk reigns Supreme

Twenty-six: find out what an environmental menace the non-native aimond trees used in American almond milk is to drought-stricken California. Feel guilty but also feel like there's no real way to avoid drinking almond milk

Twenty-eight: Oat milk explodes in the plant milk scene. I ignore this because there's a high likelihood of cross contamination with wheat in both the field crop and in the processing of oats in the same facilities of wheat. No major and common oat milk brands have any gluten free signage

Twenty nine: Oatly converts its American version to gluten free oats brown in dedicated fields and processing facilities. Try it and it's decent. (CAUTION: some celiacs have a reaction to oats themselves regardless of any cross-contamination. I, however, am not one of them.) Become mostly fully converted to oat milk but still keep ordering almond milk when I get an iced coffee because Dunkin and the anarchist coffee shop/bookstore never label which brand of oat milk they use and you're a millennial and despise phone calls

Thirty: Planet Oats is a bit cheaper so I try it on a lark and like it better. Be bummed that it comes in a smaller carton that Oatly and thus is more expensive in the long run. Start putting oat milk in my oatmeal and have a religious crisis because it seems like a decadent and cardinal sin. Remember I'm an atheist and it's okay to be a lil hedonistic and perverse esp where food is concerned

Nearly thirty-one: realize halfway in making this post that it's entirely boring and pointless and is too long for such an uninteresting subject but goddammit I've sunk the cost and will finish this stupid post.

[inscryptions]

[COCONUT] - A classic refreshment, served with two straws. Or you can crack open your own, if you really want to.

Gallagher settles in the shade near - but not next to - this asocial guest. At the periphery of any kind of boisterous fun, there are always figures like these, resistant to its pull but tethered all the same.

"Here." He slides a coconut with its top cracked open across the table that separates them. "A little taste of the island without all the noise. I won't bother ya anymore than that, don't worry."

I size up the approaching man from the corner of my eye before returning to my reading. Had I recognized I would get frequent interruptions by choosing this spot, I would've gone for a more remote one, but I've made myself comfortable here and would rather not move. There's plenty of shade, the beach is near enough that I could go down to the water at any time while also being far enough to mitigate the shouts and chatter of its occupants, and there's a cool breeze flowing through the area. I'm not about to go search out a better spot when I could be reading. So I keep my peripheral senses trained on the man as he sits down and slides something across the table between our chairs.

"Here."

At his explanation, I glance up, then sit up and take in the drink before me. How very considerate of him... actually, now that I think about it, the sun has moved quite a bit since I sat down here to read. My mouth feels dry in the heat, and I curse myself for forgetting to attend to my needs. This is why I lean so heavily on my schedule back home: by following it, I ensure I take care of myself in a timely manner. Here, however, it's a free-for-all, and as I so often do in the absence of work, I lose track of the time. I hadn't put my reading playlist on, either, and as a result I didn't know when to stop. This interruption was actually a good thing for me this time. "Thanks. I appreciate it." I pick up the drink and take a sip. The cool, refreshing taste of coconut milk, native fruit, and a hint of mint hit my tongue in a pleasant wave, and I close my eyes as I savor it. Yes... time for a break.

"This is good." I open my eyes and nod at the man. "Did you make it? You're pretty talented if so." I'd be curious to see where he learned his bartending skills from, or where he himself is from. That's some resourcefulness and experience at play that I've seen from some of the best bartenders I've come across. "And you're not bothering me much. You appear much more low-key than the others, and I needed to hydrate anyway."

[likebreadandwine]

(1/2) Today's donut was a repeat of last week's: vegan apple cider. They must have read my review, because the cider flavor was a tad stronger, the quantity of topping was a bit more modest, and there was a better ratio of cinnamon to sugar in it. The sweetness didn't drown out the underlying flavor quite so aggressively, so it had more of a straightforwardly autumnal taste. I'm still slightly hazy from all the sugar, though!

(2/2) Now that we're finally having normal autumn weather and I'm back to wearing long-sleeved button-downs, I've discovered that I'm overdue to go up a shirt size for better belly accommodation. Unrelated, it's been a crummy couple of weeks and I want to splurge on a tasty dinner for my Wednesday night out. Any suggestions?

hoorah! it's as if they know you deserve only the highest-quality donuts.

without knowing your taste, I'm not sure what to suggest for dinner. but I think what's most important, if you're going to splurge, is that you splurge entirely. order a drink you love, a fun appetizer, a main course that satisfies whatever craving you have, and then round things out with dessert.

I'll tell you how I splurged recently. I was craving Hawaiian poke all last week, so I picked some up from the place around the corner, with extra tuna. I fixed myself a drink—coconut rum and ginger ale. I had a side of ripple chips, for crunch. and later in the evening, I served myself some white chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream I'd gotten the day before when I went to get milk.

don't settle for one favourite thing when you could have all your favourites.

cheers xx

[checkoutmyflow]

Star Elite Trivia: De'Andre Wilde

So I'm remaking my old De'Andre trivia post.. I'mma try to post more often about my Blue Lock ocs, but I felt the need to redo this.

Now onto the post! Hope you enjoy?

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Hometown: Detriot, Michigan (June 21: Leo) - He shares his birthday with his twin brother, Amari Wilde. However, De'Andre's 6 minutes older than him.

Family: Father, (Deceased) Mother, Older sister, Twin (younger) brother, Younger brother, Younger brother & Younger sister (Twins)

Height & foot size: 181.6cm (5'11.5ft) and 28.7cm

Blood type: Rh-null (I have the rarest blood type in the world, apparently I get it from my mom.)

Favorite athlete: Joe Frazier

Age when he started playing: 10 years old

Favorite motto: "Wake up with purpose, sleep with satisfaction"

Best trait: His confidence (I know my worth, my skills and what I want to achieve in life.)

Worth trait: His desensitization (Due to being into horror pretty young, I'm desensitized to some things. Things that'd have a person's jaw dropped, or better yet, crying and hyperventilating, would probably be like watching a family movie on movie night for me. Not to say I'm completely apathetic tho.)

Favorite food(s): Anything spicy (I like the way spicy food feels in your mouth.. tho most spicy food doesn't have its spark as it did with me when I was younger tho.), Cajun food - Fun fact: De'Andre's spice tolerance is extremely high, so high that it's almost considered inhuman to other people - Favorite snack(s): Vegetables (Exs: Bell peppers, Cauliflower, Radish, Beets), Spicy peppers, Spicy snacks and candy - Favorite drink(s): Water, Gatorade (specifically red), Coconut milk, Almond milk, Orange juice, Ginger tea, Mint tea

Least favorite food: Natto (It looks like someone ejaculated into some beans... the texture is no better)

Hobbies: Martial arts, Body training, Anything horror related, Sports, Playing trombone, Cooking, Robotics

Favorite season: Spring and Early Autumn (I like the weather and temperature. it's perfect to work out in)

Favorite song: Hit em up by Tupac

Favorite movie(s): Real Steel, the Silence of the Lambs

Favorite manga(s): Black Lagoon, Hajime no Ippo, Berserk, and The Drifting Classroom

Favorite smell(s): Gasoline, Cinnamon, Pine, Sage

Favorite subject(s): P.E. and Science

Least favorite subject: English (It's just more boring to me than other subjects, though I'm good with it.)

Extra curriculars in school: Band (Trombone, Drum Major), Robotics club, Horror club

What makes you happy?: Hanging out with loved ones, Playing soccer with his brother and watching him improve

What makes you sad?: Amari being sad

What is your fetish: N/A (I don't think I have one.)

His type: Muscular people? (I've never liked anyone in THAT way before. Romantically or sexually. I just don't prioritize it? Though, I can admire a muscular person.)

First time someone confessed to him: 6 (It was from this one girl.. she still won't leave me alone to this day. She's a sweet girl, but FUCK is she annoying.)

Favorite childhood memory: When Amari had a nightmare and came into De'Andre's room to sleep in his bed with him. De'Andre agreed stubbornly, but to this day it's still his favorite memory. (Don't tell anyone I said that, especially Vespa, he won't ever shut the fuck up about it.)

Number of Valentine's chocolates he got: 100+ (I'm one of the most popular kids in school. I mean, yeah it's cool but sometimes I really wish I wasn't known like that because I have a whole ass fanclub at my high school... not fucking proud of it. Last Valentine's day I lost count with how many gifts I got... past 100 for sure.)

If he was able to take AllStars out for a day: He'd take them to an escape room. Bonus if it's a horror escape room.

His phobia: Pediophobia/Fear of dolls (I- fucking hate dolls. Fuck I hate them so-- fucking much.)

[butterscotchblues]

203.

on friday i went to AA and got my six month chip. a few weeks late, sure, but it still felt good. most of the people at that particular meeting have been sober for a very long time so they're pretty hype when a new sober person starts hitting milestones.

funny, i've been going to that same meeting for like 5 years on and off and this is the first time i've received any chip that wasn't the white one.

got there when everyone was sharing stories about how chaotic their drinking lives were. the host is an elderly black man--talks like an amalgamation of every southern uncle or deacon. he kept laughing every few sentences and saying "a lot of us should be dead". like.. he kept saying it lmao.

i disagree but i get it.

i've always considered myself a pretty chill person. and i'm sure a lot of folx would agree. but when i think about the shit i'd get into when i was drinking... well the lies ran deep.

i couldn't begin to count all of the times i found myself drunk as shit out alone in the dead of night or the early hours of the morning. how many times i've LEFT my home at 3am because my favorite bar didn't close til 4. it really used to feel like i had no control. like there was some unseeable force pulling and pushing me at all times. and it wasn't just the dangerous kinda chaos. it was the stupid kind and the thoughtless kind too. but i digress.

i think i'm only able to see myself, really, since i've quit. and when i sit in those AA rooms, usually as one of the youngest people there, and those folx start talking about having 20/30/40 year drinking careers, it puts things into perspective.

truly can't imagine living like that for decades. as in multiples of ten???

left AA with my lil chip and a handful of "congratulations" from the senior white folx and then pulled up at sevananda. been wanting to make my own almond milk for a while now. the energy in sev is almost always welcoming (especially if you don't work there). love seeing all the locs and fros and linen clothing and copper ankh jewelry lol.

the cashier was sweet and bubbly. caught me off guard when they started flirting. i hadn't been flirted with by a stranger in some time, i really don't be leaving the house like that lol. but it was cute.

left with my whole almonds and cheescloth, giddy for the creation to come, and drove to the decatur cemetary. bug randomly remembered that they have a huge pile of mulch there and she was right. so i grabbed two trashbags and filled them up.

sn: really enjoying gardening.

my next door neighbor came home while i was putting down the mulch and after i asked her for a rake to borrow, we got to talking about gardening. i noticed they had hella plants in a bed at the back of their yard and when i asked what they were growing, she named just about every vegetable growable in georgia lol. how inspiring. wonder if they'd be down to give me some tips.

pulled up on my plug a little later because he made me some thc oil. i really don't like smoking anymore but tree has been helping me sleep and alleviating my wrist pain. so edibles and tinctures are my favorites at the moment. he whipped me up a brownie pan worth of coconut oil and the shit is po-tent. very cool of him.

anyway, i guess i just wanted to remember friday. because it was a good friday. and i'm grateful.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 46 - Everything seemed tainted by a gray light.

Episode 1. Akin: Sam, take a deep breath he spoke in a calm voice whatever the test result is, we will find the best way to deal with it.

Sam: He took a deep shaky breath easy for you to say, he rubbed his hands from his spot on the seat by Akin's work desk You are not the one who will lose your boyfriend, if your pregnancy test turns up positive.

Akin: If. He forced a soft smile

It had been a week since Sam had gotten his test result, and the days had been a long blur. He had stayed clear of pretty much everyone around him, barely picking up the phone, making excuses not to see anyone. He had a lot on his mind, and no leftover energy to deal with the world around him. It was a late Thursday evening, when someone knocked his door. He didn't want to open, but then a voice reached out to him

Andy: Sam! It's your dad… if you remember me by now? …. name's Andy… and I worry about you!

Sam: He sighed soft and couldn't help but smile, then he closed his book, got up from his couch and made his way to the front door, slowly opening it How could I forget you? he forced a small smile

Andy: He chuckled lightly, but his face looked unusually serious are you alright?

Sam: …. that's a matter of interpretation.

Andy: Mhh he nodded soft may I come in?

Sam: Sure he opened the door wider and stepped aside into the kitchen do you want anything to drink?

Andy: You don't have any soda, do you? he stepped into the house, quickly closing the door

Sam: No. But I have beer and wine…?

Andy: No thank you

Sam: He looked at his dad surprised Well… I got coconut milk or tea then?

Andy: He wrinkled his nose

Sam: He chuckled lightly okay, how about I put some coffee over then?

Andy: No, I can't have coffee, it's okay.

Sam: …. mineral water?

Andy: Yeah, sure…

Sam: He nodded confirming and reached for a glass in a cupboard

Andy: What's going on with you anyway? You disappeared for a week, not even Lina has seen you… is there something wrong?

Sam: He sighed soft and poured some mineral water for Andy in a glass, handing it to him that would again be a matter of interpretation.

Andy: Meaning? he sipped the water

Sam: Dad, it's rather personal and something I prefer to try to wrap my head around in private, at least for now. But I'm fine in the sense that nothing is 'wrong' with me, so please don't worry.

Andy: ……. he slow nodded, but it was easy to see he wasn't truly buying what Sam was trying to sell

Sam: He shook his head lightly and sighed soft it's nothing for you to worry about. He quickly walked to the counter, and poured some mineral water in his own glass, taking a sip I am sorry if I worried you though. That wasn't my intention.

Andy: No, I know that. It's just sad to me that you don't trust me with this…. whatever it is you're carrying around.

Sam: He sighed heavily, he honestly was carrying a lot more than he wanted to, and the thought of sharing it with someone suddenly felt almost liberating Dad I- He got interrupted as suddenly his mineral water combined with his dinner, decided to make a comeback and he barely made it to the sink

Andy: …………. he slowly stepped closer to Sam, grabbing his hair before Sam reached round 2 You're pregnant?

Sam: Akin told you?

Andy: No. But Lina might have mentioned yesterday that you had a strange reaction to a joke she made and shortly after that walked out on her last week.

Sam: He frowned soft and straightened up I'm sorry, I'll just go brush my teeth.

Andy: Yeah, well, nothing to apologize for… he slowly followed Sam to the bathroom It uhm… it's Adrian's, right?

Sam: He looked at his dad with a deep 'are you kidding me' frown

Andy: Nervous chuckle funny enough, I'm uh, pregnant too…

Sam: ……….

Andy: ………

Sam: ………

Andy: ……… Akin is sure it happened on Adrian's first wolf moon, but we couldn't detect it till about a month ago, probably cause my body was aware I'd have gotten an abortion. He sighed deep now it's too late, I'm just "lucky" that I haven't started showing yet he ran his fingers through his hair nervously I'm sorry to dump it on you like that, but no one else knows… I mean apart from Akin… I just haven't figured how to tell Adrian, yet…. if ever

Sam: You have to tell him, dad!

Andy: And lose him? He frowned softly maybe it's best to never say anything at all… keep things the way they are.

Sam: And then what when the kid grows up and looks like him?

Andy: ……… yeah…..

Sam: Yeah he grabbed his tooth brush, added tooth paste and stuck it in his mouth, brushing his teeth

Andy: I just don't want to lose him… fuck! I don't even know how to tell him, and even if there's the slightest chance he wouldn't lose his shit, he definitely will now when there's two of us! Mr. no kids is going to have two kids!

Sam: …….. 3 he mumbled with his mouth full of foam

Andy: ……. what?!?! Who else is pregna- Dalton?!?!

Sam: No he quickly spat in the sink I'm he sighed deep having twins.

Andy: ……….. FUCK!!! He quickly rushed to the kitchen, ripping the door open, grabbed a beer and was just about to open it as someone knocked Sam's door

Sam: He groaned from inside the bathroom

Andy: I'll tell them to fuck right off!!

Sam: No, dad he spat in the sink, quickly washing his tooth brush I'll handle it. He quickly left the bathroom and walked to the front door, opening it a bit hesitating this time, frowning questioning as outside there were no sign of anyone, then he suddenly noticed a basket on the ground…. with a small baby in it What the?! he looked around, there were no movements indicating a person had left, so he quickly ran out onto the road, no cars, nothing!?!

Andy: what's going on? He rushed to the door, only to spot the baby right away What the fuck?!? He quickly picked up the basket and got it into the living room, placing it securely on the couch, then he noticed a note

Sam: He shook his head and sniffed the air, but couldn't pick up any new scent, beside the baby, it was as if a ghost had dropped off the basket. He hurried back to the house and locked the door after himself, a thing he wouldn't usually do, but something inside him felt uneasy all of a sudden, and it wasn't the pregnancy this time. It was as if something dark suddenly hung thick over his house. A smell of death in the air. He frowned suspiciously, but brushed it off, for now the most important would be to find out what-

Andy: Uhmm

Sam: What? He quickly walked up to his dad

Andy: Uh yeah, there's a note…

Sam: A note?

Andy: Uh yeah, it's from Meena… she says the baby is yours and that she can't do it. She says she is your responsibility and to never contact her again.

Sam: What!?? he quickly grabbed the note and ripped it out of Andy's hand, reading it fast

Andy: …….

Sam: ……. fuck!

Andy: He nodded slow

Sam: He quickly picked up his phone, dialling his friend Meena's number, a friend he had had casual sex with in the past… twice. Her number is out of service he frowned as he put the phone back down, trying to process everything. Now there were 4 babies?! She didn't even leave a name?!? How am I going to take care of a pregnancy, AND a baby, AND get all that to fit with a child-phobic boyfriend?!

Andy: ….. I hate to suggest it again, but-

Sam: Dad, no!

Andy: Get very drunk then?!

Sam: Dad!

Andy: Rough sex with strangers?

Sam: ….. he couldn't help but chuckle

Andy: You wait a couple months and it wont seem like such a laughable idea when the pregnancy hormones take over!

Sam: He shook his head lightly I really can't wrap my head around that right now dad, I have to go find Meena and try to figure this one out, you can't just dump your baby on someone elses doorstep!

Andy: But she appears to be yours…

Sam: Regardless, dad. It's just not okay, I thought we were friends, yet I knew nothing about this baby, or her being pregnant for that matter?

Andy: When was the last time you even spoke to her? I mean, 9 months pregnancy and you didn't notice?

Sam: He lifted an eyebrow I'm not stupid if that's where we're heading?!

Andy: … no, I'm just saying-

Sam: I haven't seen her for about 11-12 months? And I haven't spoken with her for about 10 months maybe?

Andy: Real good friends you two were….

Sam: He frowned at his dad's sarcasm I've been busy.

Andy: ….

Sam: beside I'm not going to just believe a mystery baby is mine because of a handwritten letter, there are tests to be made. Proper ways of handling things he gestured at the basket this isn't it. I don't exactly have diapers or milk laying around either. He sighed deep So my first priority is to try to get a hold of Meena and get to the bottom of it all.

Andy: He nodded confirming what about the baby? Are you going to portal jump around with her?

Sam: No. I hate to ask but can you keep an eye on her for a while?

Andy: Yeah, sure, I might have a couple things in my car as well you can have, in case she stays. At least it could save your ass till you can get to a supermarket tomorrow.

Sam: He sighed heavy Thanks dad. I'll be back as soon as possible, I promise.

Andy: Take your time, it's okay, I'll stay as long as you need me to he smiled soft and sat down next to the basket At least she's sleeping for now.

Sam: He sighed softly call me if it gets to be too much.

Andy: It wont, please, go fix your life, it's honestly starting to look like mine! He chuckled hoarsely

Sam: He squinted his eyes but said nothing, just quickly grabbed his coat and headed to his bedroom where he would set up the portal for Meena's place.

Andy: So what's your name anyway? He looked at the sleeping baby I'm Andy btw… he reached a greeting hand into the basket Nice to meet you…. oh you don't give hand…. shy?…. he shrugged lightly that's alright, you shouldn't talk to strangers anyway.

[lawvno]

Thanks for the tag, I haven't been tagged in this kind of things for so long XD Egg: I don't like eggs! scambled on something is not bad though. And Ramen Eggs!! Steak: the second it is too chewy, i'm out. Milk: I'd drink cold milk right now

Alcohol: Coconut rum!

Warm drink: Cappuccino ☕

Tag: @auxiliarydetective only if you want

[strangechildproductions]

Guys I'm on a diet right, the "Keto diet"

( which is not something I recommend without serious consideration and research first. Extremely restrictive and once you start you can't just "stop" like I thought you could when you hit your goal weight you have to ween off it. And the side effects of constipation was not a fun surprise sorry for the TMI but even with the research I did do these things didn't pop up. Not the point of the post)

Ive had to cut a lot of foods out as a result like coffee cuz I'm a typical white American who likes to drown their coffee in hazelnut creamer and pretend I like coffee. ( This is a joke but I do do that) Creamer has a butt ton of carbs. Obviously so no creamer, no coffee.

I wake up, I asked my mother while she was at the store to get me 1 snack. Pepperoni stix. Cuz I can take them to work, they got lots of fat and protein and are good. I wake up ( I work nights and she went shopping during the day) and she did infact get my pepperoni sticks.

She also got mushroom Alfredo to go with my Zoodles, she got Spanish olives, spam, seaweed snacks ( which I absolutely love btw) multi vitamins any veggies I can have but ran out of, a butt ton of half and half which I realized was in fact keto friendly,

And most importantly a lot of coconut creamer and milk. My mother is allergic to coconut which was why I was avoiding it for the diet. ( Granted it's just a rash allergy but still)

And granted obviously SHES not gonna drink it but I didn't wanna take up fridge space for something she can't also have should she decide she wants it.

But now I have a lot of it .. tried it today it's not bad. Not my gallon of hazelnut creamer that I drink with a splash of what ever coffee is in the pot but still pretty good ( again a joke. A found with this creamer I can't do more than table spoons or it tastes too funny)

And I'm just really touched. Even if it seems ridiculous. Cuz all I asked for was pepperoni stix