#Nothing serious tho; pills always take me out the first couple days I start taking them

[siixkiing]

Just a quick head’s up, I am restarting my pills...I don’t expect this to be a problem, BUT just encase the side-effects happen you all know.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Mount Everest Ain’t Got Shit On Us (Fezco x fem!reader, Part 2.)

Description: You were always told that your life will be as you wish it to be if you’ll study enough. That it will pay off if you work hard. And some people were given you like the scary example of what will happen when you don’t obey. But sometimes it feels good to disobey.

A/N: I think we found the right ground for this... Something (it ain't one shot but I don't know if we can call it series either, we'll see). I like to start with something like Rue did - a bit of narrating and then slowly slipping into the "episode". Let me know if something will not add up for you, ok?

Word count: 2.5 K

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and drug addiction, strong LBGT themes, age gap, Rue's maniac/bipolar episodes. The normal things.

Masterlist and declaration: H E R E

Sometimes the feeling of not belonging somewhere grows over your head so much that you actually feel like you don't belong anywhere, to no one. That you don't even have a place to come back to. It is scary to go through a place alone when all those people look at you because they see for the first time. It feels like they are whispering things about you, that they are laughing at you and you can feel the anxiety inside of you growing. 

It hurts. It hurts so much that you just want to crawl onto the toilette cab, sit there and cry to your own knees until it's over.

Those shared looks judging your appearance, your looks, your make-up or your old favorite shoes. Those are the things that slowly kills you from the inside.

The people smoke there even tho they shouldn't, snorting because of some jokes,  looking all cool and chilled and for you, it is a walk of shame. Your head is kept down and you continue to the building at a quick pace, hoping that you will not be too exciting for them. And it doesn't matter if it's a new workplace, new school or a new home for seniors for that matter. It's the same over and over again.

A neverending cycle.

To find the office where you had to pick up the paperwork that needed to be done and taking your schedule was probably the hardest thing you have ever done. It felt almost impossible. The crowd and groups of people your age took you from one side of the building to the another and you felt so lost. Like never before. 

The door finally appeared after first class already started. When you slowly stepped into that small room, you looked like a mess. It was a small room with one window, it's walls were calmingly green and the pictures and motivational posters with kittens made you grin.

An old lady smiled at you from behind the desk. She appeared to be a kind person. It comforted you a bit, sitting in her office, looking her to her hazel-brown eyes with the last bit of confidence you were able to find somewhere inside of you.

“So you are new here, I see, I see.” - Mrs. Smith told you when she prepared the papers for your parents to sign up and printed you your own class schedule. Her heart-shaped face lit up with a smile when she leaned closer to you. - “Don't worry about being late. No one showed you around and you could find me anyway. It is totally fine if you will be lost in this building for the first couple of days, sweetie. You need to learn a lot.” - Her fingers patted your wrists knitted together tightly. You accidentally exhaled out loud because you held your breath again, smiling at her lazily. 

“Hope that the professors won't be mad.” - A giggle came out of your mouth and Mrs. Smith stood up to brew you some tea. 

“You can be here for until the end of your first class if you’re so scared. You seem to be feeling uncomfortable, am I right?” - She gave you the cup, sugar to add-in and a cookie. Your head nodded. - “I am a granny of two, I can sense when you don’t feel good."

A couch in the corner was the place you chose to chill at. You sat in a small ball there with your knees crossed over each other, your earbuds plugged into the small jack on the top of your phone and sometimes you sipped a bit of the tea.

The feeling of melancholy took over you as you went through the new post on Instagram made by people who you were used to seeing daily. Once again, you felt like you didn't belong to that place, like on a short trip to Disneyland. But this trip was permanent. And the harder the reality dropped on your shoulders, the worse you felt.

You couldn't say that you hate this whole place. You liked it, it was a normal city, normal neighborhood, nothing too weird. But that little worm of knowing that you're not at home anymore was keeping that feeling alive. For a few moments, your eyes and your mind drifted away into a place far away in your head.

The bell-ringing was a sound you almost welcomed. It brought you back to reality, leaving Mrs. Smith's little office. It made your mind occupied with different things, your nose shoved into the piece of paper with the schedule. Mrs. Smith was kind enough to print you a map of the school and gave you how you should go. That was a thing that made you smile. Kindness. Random kindness from a woman who saw a strange girl for the first time. It was her job most probably but you were thankful for it either way.

Sometimes all of us feel like a hero of a novel or a movie. The days slowly become on a long, neverending surreal piece of art as the faces and colors mash up into one painting. Your mind seems to be too occupied to actually take notice of something. Too occupied to take a hold of itself and you drift away into places far, far away.

You couldn't seem to remember or recall a single word the teachers have said to you. And they seemed to ignore you as well, it was like a symbiosis. Why should they be excited about you? A new face in the crowd was not that interesting to ask for a name. It was just one face between many ones. Why should they care? Your face wasn't anything that has the power to change the whole world. Or your name.

First moments you actually took notice of were when you made it to the cafeteria. Nobody looked at you anymore. You just took your plate and ordered some food like a normal student. 

A table in the back of the cafeteria felt ideal for you. You sat there with your lunch and ate, just watching the others and looking though your notebooks and what have you written down. To your surprise, your hand wrote automatically for you and there were truly some pieces of information written down in your typical messy handwriting.

"Hey, loser. Why you're alone?" - A girl's voice asked you in a cocky manner. At first, you thought that it's finally here - your first bully. But when your eyes found her face, she seemed to be strangely kind with a cocky smile and raised eyebrows. Messy brown curls framed her face while her skin had the color of darkened caramel. Your clothing style was really similar - but her Converse shoes were all tied up and not torn.

She had a tall girl next to her. Her make-up was heavy, her hair was a color extravaganza and her clothing style reminded you of anime cosplay and San Diego's comic con. Her skin was almost white, Albin-ish or what. Something made her really pretty. Whether it was her large nose or her eyes, you couldn't tell. But she seemed nice, her presence felt nice as well even tho you saw her for the first time ever. Her lips were giving you a graceful smile, she rolled her eyes at the brunette's questions and then she pinned her eyes on you.

"Fuckin' hell, I'm just kiddin', girl. You're lookin' all like holy shit I'm busted, like in the series about that cheating bastards. Oh man, you should see yourself. But you're sitting at our table." - The brunette said less cockily and more jokingly, slowly sitting down with her food.

"Does that mean I should leave?" - Your voice trembled and you sound panicked. Brunette took a good, long look at you and the other girl sat next to her.

"Of course you can stay! Don't be angry about Rue. She's a pain in the ass when she has her episodes. Right now, we're in the manic phase so she won't shut up. And she has mean comments that don't make sense most of the tomes." - The girl with pretty the make-up offered her hand for a handshake and you accepted it. - "Name's Jules by the way. That's Rue." - Just as Jules said Rue's name, Rue managed to pull of Eminem's old rapping pose from one of his album covers and nodded at you with a weird cocky smile.

"Wazzup', newbie?" - Rue said with a high laugh while Jules looked like she's about to kill her in the next few moments.

"I'm Y/N." - You said quietly and Jules let go of your hand.

"Ya all brand new out 'ere, aren't ya?" - Rue entwined her fingers on the table and you looked you dead in the eye, being serious all of a sudden. Like a detective. -"She thinks she's like Morgan Freeman or what when she has her phases. A detective or what." - Jules laughed.

"But Morgan Freeman is the man, Jules. Just the man. He's all cool and shit." - Rue laughed at her. Those two seemed to be a funny pair of... Friends? A couple? You couldn't tell. They acted like friends, but they looked at each other with tender smiles. You could only guess.

“What did bring you this part of the world? Adventure or lousy parents?” - Jules gave you a slight smirk and playfully raised her eyebrows.

“Dads work brought us here. But I and my siblings are kinda cool about all of that. We can have a new experience.” - You shrugged your eyebrows and took a bite of your sandwich. 

“If you're looking for a drug paradise, ya are right where ya wanted to be, whaddayasay?” - Rue wiggled her eyebrows and opened her yogurt, sticking her spoon inside of it, drolling some pills into the vanilla pudding with her long, delicate yet strong fingers. Your eyes instantly popped out and your it almost fell out as you watched the pills. 

“What. The. Hell?” - You squealed in a high pitched tone and rose her eyebrows, asking you about what is the matter.

 “I have BPAD, what did ya expect, man? This is the better way to take the medication. Ya want me to gulp all of it or what?” - Rue said in a joking tone, she was ironic, but she gave you that addict look. 

“Trust me, I searched through her bag. This is really only the medication for her BD. It's cool. No drugs.” - Jules assured you. You nodded slowly with a frown on your face. Could Rue had some history with addiction? Or what was Jules talking about? You watched the way Rue slowly mixed her pudding. 

“Just the way I love it.” - Rue hummed happily with her eyes closed. She had a tired look on her face, the bags under her eyes made her gaze look more devilish and her cheeks were too sharp. But she had a beautiful mouth and full lips. 

“If you don't mind a pair of weirdos as your friends, we agreed we could make a trio out of our duo. But we are something between girlfriends and friends so I just want to warn before any weird situations happen.” -  Jules put her head on Rue's shoulder and smiled happily. 

“After ten minutes you know me? Wow, that was a quick one.” - You joked and Rue pointed on you with her spoon. 

“Ten minutes is everything you need to know if a person is a dickhead - trust me, I would know if you're a super dickhead. Ya seem to be cool.” - Rue winked. Was the situation that bad in here? Just ten minuted to know if a person is a dickhead? That was something. 

So what was in stock for you? An ex-junkie with a BPAD and an all-anime-about girl who looked like a colorful extravaganza. Better than a jock with his nose rose up and an attitude of a dickhead or a chick with anorexia you thought to yourself. As always you were lost in your head for a moment - thinking about Rue's disorder. They told you that Rue is in her manic state, how was she like during her depression moments? Will it be alright? 

“Okay. Cool.” - You said in the end. New people and new friends, just as your older sis said. It felt really cool. 

“Welcome to the losers club.” - Rue winked at you playfully. 

At three p.m. Fran waited on you and your brother in the car. You stuck with Rue and Jules for the rest of your day, Rue's manic ass making you laugh all day. You didn't find her bickering and manic shit annoying at all, you laughed at it a lot actually. Both of you walked you back to your sister's car, do not letting your anxiety get over your head. 

“See ya tomorrow, the new one.” - Rue giggled and threw her hand over her girlfriend's shoulder and brought her closer to her small, thin body, hugging her tightly.

“See you tomorrow, guys.” - You smiled and crawled into Fran's car. Your sis was smiling at you proudly, waving to Rue and Jules. You could feel that Fran is excited about that. You lean from the car's window and waved at them excitedly. Rue was dramatic, holding her entwined palms on her chest, sending you some kisses and pretending to cry. 

“I told you, shithead. You have friends! Nice!” - Fran patted your upper thigh and grinned in front of you. You two took the same route you took on your way to school. 

The gas station came up to your sight quicker than it did before. Nobody was there this time - no smoking boy with a blue design t-shirt and jeans hugging his upper thigs. The spot which came significant to you that morning was empty now, no boy in your sight. 

“What you're lookin' at, shithead? Some magical place you're searching for? You did the exact same thing in the morning.” - Fran told you quietly, lighting up her cigarette before mom could see her smoking. 

“Nothing. Let it be.” - You smiled at her shily and sat back to your seat. 

The feelings of loneliness can be a long time thing. But sometimes, just sometimes and when you are really lucky, someone can show you wour place and make you feel like someone cares about you. You can meet new, special people who take you as you are. 

And when you are this lucky, nothing can be better than that. But not to give you false promises - it isn't a thing that does happen every time. 

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Richard Camacho headcanon

Authors Note: This all over the place lmao so bear with me. I also got a little carried away oops.

Y’all prolly met at the club or a house party tbh(like almost every other Richard fic :’)

And you were there looking bomb as ever ;)

And he was there looking fine as ever ;)

And you were just in a corner talking to a few friends when he sat beside you

At first it wasn’t a big deal bc it’s a couch..hello

But when y’all got a good look at each other’s faces under the smoke and blue laser lights

Y’all were like

:0

So that’s how you met, lol

It might’ve taken a long time for you guys to actually start dating

With him being so private and secure when it comes to relationships

And you having bad experience with relationships

You guys took it slow, yet you both considered each other as your s/o even if you guys haven’t even shared a kiss

And after, let’s say, four months, y’all started dating

Anyway

Starting now with and actual headcanon

My boy’s hands are on you 24/7

Your hips, waist and ass are his hand holders

Literally cannot get enough of you

If you’re cooking you can bet your ass he’s wrapping his arms around you(or just unpacking takeout if you don’t cook)

Squishing you into his buff chest with his strong arms :’) whatta dream

Even in public his hands are wrapped tightly or losely around your waist, 0 fucks given at the pictures people take or the stares

He’s you number one support and judge

Perfect candidate to take to the mall when you want to buy some clothes or whatever

This is one horny ass man(but y’all knew that already)

Anything you wore he’d just melt and start making Inappropriate jokes

“How’s this one” you’d mutter mostly to yourself as you examined the dress

“It’s great ma, it look even better on the floor tho” He’d chuckle darkly

But your just like

“guess I’ll fuck him in the dressing room ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “

Sometimes you have those down moments where you basically just hate yourself(terrible fucking feeling m8)

BUT RICHARD IS HAVING NONE OF THAT

I feel like he’d cancel EVERYTHING he has on his schedule and clean the whole house and set up the cutest fort and puts on a shit ton of Disney movies and snacks for you

He takes his time leaving soft and gentle kisses all over your body, starting from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before lazily clicking play on the little mermaid

He could barely focus on the movie

His hands would be draped lazily over your stomach squeezing the soft skin(making you uwu)and his head buried in the crook of your neck, giving you innocent kisses

A wide smile permanent on your face

You’d order some take out and just drink some red wine as he worships your body in the most innocent ways possible to the dirtiest ways

This dude is the dream boyfriend once he’s met the one honestly

and vice versa

Every time he feels down(which isn’t a rare thing) you’d be there.

His head would be against your chest as you softly massage his scalp, lips pressed against his forehead and you whispered all the things you love about him and all the good qualities that he has

MELTING IS WHAT THIS BOY IS DOING ON THE INSIDE

MELTING

Anywhore, moving on

it took Richard 6 months for him to introduce you to Aaliyah bc he wanted to make sure that you were actually serious

Which is completely understandable

He was so nervous bc like

whAT if you don’t want that big of a commitment??

Or what if Aaliyah doesn’t like you???

His worst nightmare is both his baby girls not getting along

Literally had to take a moment alone so he could recompose himself

He wouldn’t know what hell to do if both the loves of his life dont get along

But let’s be honest

He was stressing for nothing

You guys ended up loving each other

It took Aaliyah a few minutes to open up due to her shyness

But y’all ended up being the best of friends

And Richards heart just meLTED

You ended up befriending Yocelyn too

And Richards all like :0

If you weren’t confident before you met him, then he really did boost your confidence up little by little

Starting with random messages throughout the day

Some sweet other explicit ;)

Would take so many pictures and videos of you just so you could see how pretty you are

And if you were already confident(which we all should be :’)

Y’all would take some bomb ass pictures together

Like them cute ass insta couples

Will make such cute and inappropriate comments under your posts

Making many fans gush and hollar

Ugh, goals man, literal goals

Most fans don’t take the news well

Hate comment after hate comment

But you know what?

Y’all prolly fucking too hard to pay attention

This man is a sex God(I have no proof but I have no doubts either)

Y’all caNNOT change my mind

Pull out game weak(sorry lol)

But goOD THING YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

This one kinky motherfucker istg

From bondage to breeding to choking to ooff I need a shower

Will take you anywhere in the house

The couch? check

Kitchen? check

Guest room? check

I want to say that he’s into public sex but I doubt it, like he’d think it’s hot but he wouldn’t want to risk anything

LUCKILY YOU’RE THERE TO PUSH HIS BUTTONS!!! ;)))))

Lazy make out sessions are a common thing

Lots of booty grabbing

My man loves that booty

You get along perfectly with the guys

Even though at first all of you were a bit iffy

Because

“Oh shit, new girl and she isn’t a one night stand :0”

But after like a week maybe, all of you started getting more comfortable

Maybe a little too comfortable which had Richard seeing red

I mean

He’d love the fact that everyone was getting along

BUT THERES BOUNDARIES !!

Ooff did I mention that he’s super protective with a tad bit of possessiveness

Not enough to be considered dangerous or unhealthy but enough to irritate you

“Like back tf up bruh I can protect myself”

And he’s all like

:0

You could be at the club, dancing and having the time of your life and some guy just creeps up behind you

And Richards got this murderous look on his face that even scared you

But let’s not lie, mad Richard is a sexy Richard

Y’all have some bomb sex after but then a deep conversation about your faithfulness to each other

Speaking of conversations

It’s 2:49am and y’all talking bout raiding Area 51 or some shit

You’re both drunk off sleep that you just go deep in thought

Or it could be 11:11pm and you guys are just confessing your love for one another

Singing his songs while you clean around the house or catch up on your work

And his just staring at you with the biggest heart eyes

Random slow dances with or without music happens at least one a week

Dates could go from a fancy ass Italian restaurant or a stop at 7/11 and a drive around the streets listening to slow r&b music

You could be gazing up at the stars and he’d try his best to focus on the road instead of your beautiful face

Days away from him suck ass

With him touring and practicing could be hard on both of y’all

But you make it work

Or when he’s finally home and you have to go to uni or work leaves him a bit disappointed

But you’ll do some romantic shit when you or he gets back

THIS MAN WILL SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

will surprise you with diamond earrings or necklaces

You end up calling him your sugar daddy jokingly

Speaking of nicknames

Calls you mami more than your name

Like, does he even know your name?

Prolly not(jk)

You’re just mami, baby girl or babe

But you don’t mind whatsoever

Teaching you Spanish)if you already don’t know it) and kissing you every time you get something right

He’s a messy one lady’s

So every time you fight it’s prolly bc of his mess

You end up yelling at him to clean the mess

And he act all offended but does as you says cause he’s a good boy

Literally cried when Aaliyah calls you mommy

But your panicking

Like full on panicking

Like what if Yocelyn comes and drags your ass??

You’re out here worrying while Richard is bawling his eyes out in happiness

None of them have a problem with it thankfully

It just means you’re treating their baby girl right

Now it’s your cue to cry

Damn you love both of them so much

And he loves both of y’all twice as much

OH and meeting your family would be the end of him

His having a full on breakdown once again

His confidence is out the window

Cause what if they don’t accept him bc he’s a dad????

Or bc he’s constantly on the road and not being able to give you all the love and attention you deserve???

That’ll crush him

And Yashua’s prolly making fun of him lowkey

Your dad(or male figure if you don’t have a dad) would intimidate THE SHIT out of him

But once again, after a few minutes or hour

Everyone got along perfectly

Your family ended up loving him and his family ended up loving you just as much

And there’s so much more that could go on with dating Richard but this is all my poor brain could think of

Plus I’m afraid that if I write more tumblr will fuck my shit up like always :’)

Deuces 🤙🏼

[reddiess]

Hi there! Could you please write some Richie x Eddie love? First kiss perhaps?

HELLO YES thank you for the ask ^^ here ya go!if you have a prompt for any ship in the IT fandom (no clowns tho pliz) shoot me an ask!Eddie Kaspbrak is pretty sure he’d be better off with relatively normal parents, parents like Bill and Georgie Denbrough’s or like his uncle who visits sometimes and brings him presents. His kids - Eddie’s cousins - look much more normal and not at all loser-like and do not care if they get germs all over them. When he thinks about it, of course, he knows he’s the smarter one because he’s less likely to end up hurting himself or getting any diseases and he’s fragile anyway… but somewhere deep in his mind he’s also aware that this is not the norm for other kids and that his mother kind of made him this way. He knows she means well and just wants to protect him - but he shouldn’t be worrying about germs and bacteria at the age of 15; he just can’t help it. He’s like this now. It’s not like he can escape the habit and the mindset now when it’s all he’s ever known.

So he continues to take his pills like a good boy and use his inhaler the second he can feel his breathing become heavier because his asthma, at least, is definitely real. And it sucks.

So, long story short, Eddie knows this obsession with being clean is kind of weird - but it’s also true that he tends to somehow ignore the urge more when he’s with his friends. Richie in particular just seems to attract dirt and danger wherever he goes, and Eddie usually ends up looking just as bad, if not worse. He wouldn’t give it up though, not if he can help it. Richie is his best friend, and if Richie wants to get in fights with Henry Bowers and walk around in greywater all day, well, who is Eddie to stop him? Besides, he kind of enjoys the thrill of being able to actually do things, to live a little, which is exactly the opposite of what his life is like at home. He does draw the line at some point though, because Richie gets as disgusting as a 15 year old boy can get, you should see his room-“Ew, you know how unsanitary that is?” Eddie exclaims as he steps into Richie’s room. It almost comes automatically now.Richie, who has gone through a serious growth spurt in the past year and will consume anything, eats the leftover sandwich that’s been sitting on his drawer anyway, much to Eddie’s disgust. He knows it’s been there for at least half a day now and he knows Richie didn’t wash his hands after getting off his bike. As Richie mockingly shows the half-chewed contents of his mouth to Eddie he can’t help but smile, as if he finds it a little endearing. “You’re disgusting,” he tells his best friend, albeit a little more fondly than he would’ve liked.“You love me,” Richie replies without hesitation, and somewhere, something deep inside in Eddie Kaspbrak suddenly feels… weird. Not natural. Tingly, kind of panicky like the beginning of an asthma attack, except somehow his breathing is fine and the feeling is not entirely negative. He ignores it because honestly, the broccoli his mother made yesterday was suspiciously crispy and burnt, so it’s probably just his stomach. He does have some digestants in his fanny pack, if things get worse.“Eddie? You okay?” Richie’s voice pulls him back to reality and he realizes he’s been standing there in the middle of the room, staring at his best friend while he chewed that disgusting piece of sandwich with a dumb look on his face. Now Eddie just feels awkward.“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about how repelling you are.”“Sure, Eds,” Richie retorts. “Don’t call me that!” He mouths exactly on time with Eddie, who bursts out almost instinctively. “Your lines are predictable.After that, his friend gathers the things he needs to stay over at Bill’s later, and they fall back into their normal dynamic. Richie goes on about his day as if nothing happened, and, well nothing really did, it’s just… weird now. Something is really-*“-wrong!” Eddie sighs.“Eddie, honey, you know how much I worry about you. What am I going to do here alone all night, when I know you’re with those boys that always hurt you?”“They’re my friends, mom.” “Don’t you remember what happened the last time, Eddie? Mommy had to take you to the hospital, I was so worried!” His mom towers over him in that ugly yellow sweater she only wears at home, her voice steady and calm. “My heart hurt, Eddie. You don’t want to hurt me again, do you? That’s just not right, is it?”Eddie hangs his head. She is using that voice again, the one that makes him feel guilty of things he’s never meant to do. He should say something, he should explain to her that his friends would never hurt him, have never…Richie appearing next to him suddenly surprises him, Eddie having forgotten for a moment the boy is waiting for him by the front door. “It’s okay Mrs. K. It’s just that, we do have a group project due next week, so we will just be doing homework - Eddie can even come home if we finish before sundown, but we really need him. He’s the smartest in our group.”Richie is so smart, Eddie thinks as he watches his mother’s expression morph into something softer.“Well, I guess as long as you call me later that everything is fine… and if it’s for homework. And you will only stay at Bill’s, I don’t want you going near that house again.”Eddie only has vague memories of what his mother is talking about, but at the moment, he’s just ecstatic to go to the sleepover.“Sure, I will! Thank you mom, you’re the best!” Richie is already dragging him through the front door; Eddie manages to shout a Love you, mom! before it closes behind them. They fall into a comfortable silence and Eddie wonders if he should say something. In the end, he just blurts out, “Thank you. That was really cool.”“I just wanted to get her alone so I can sneak into her bedroom later-” SMACK! “Ow, Eddie Spaghetti, have you been working out? That hurt.”He can’t help but smile at Richie’s teasing, however annoying and awful the fucker is. As they near the end of the street, something brushes his wrist - first he wants to instinctively pull away, or shake it off but as he looks down to see what it is, he notices it’s Richie’s hand bumping against his own. It could be a coincidence. It probably is. It’s just that, Richie looks kind of nervous and is glancing down at Eddie before averting his gaze again. It’s just that he looks like he wants…Like he maybe wants to…Long, cold fingers slide between Eddie’s warmer ones until Richie’s palm is aligned with his own; the foreign sensation from before returns in full force, something, some kind of feeling taking hold of Eddie. It’s as if he’s suddenly so excited his stomach wants to crawl up inside his body, as if he’s buzzing, like he has butterflies trapped inside of him that want out. And Richie, he… he looks nervous. Not a look Eddie sees too often on him. They walk for some more like that, thankfully not bumping into anyone on the way. Eddie doesn’t know if he could handle being seen holding hands with a boy, let alone by someone who could tell his mother about it. As they near Bill’s house Richie stops - Eddie means to walk on but is dragged back - but does not let go of his friend. “So I… meant to talk to you about this,” He begins, still not letting go. Eddie glances up at him, Richie’s so tall compared to him now that he has to look up like he does when his mother scolds him. “I’ve been thinking if I should tell you-”Oh God, Eddie thinks. This is it.“-that I like you. Have, actually for a couple months now. I didn’t know if I should… you know, tell you but. Bill said I should go for it and. Well. Yeah.”This is really it.Eddie is speechless for a second because Richie Tozier liking a boy, liking him? What? But at the same time it does make sense somehow. It just makes sense to Eddie now. Richie always looks out for him, calls him cute and calls him names, buys him food and ice cream. Richie has a spare inhaler on him at all times, for God’s sake. Eddie is always the first person he looks for in a room, and vice versa. Eddie gravitates towards Richie like Richie gravitates towards danger, and he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t, but he kisses Richie there on the street like they have nothing to hide. It’s over before he knows it, a press of his dry lips against Richie’s but the feeling of it lingers. He doesn’t know which one of them looks more surprised as they stand there in silence. Not three seconds have passed and Richie breaks out into a smile, which makes Eddie follow suit. How does it happen that you don’t even know you like someone, even if it’s spelled out right in front of you?Well, Eddie would have to be extremely dense not to get it now.“I guess then you like me too?” Richie’s voice is unsure. “Or you kissed me out of pity in which case I will keep seeing your mother.”“Richie!” Eddie exclaims, punching him in the shoulder with his free hand. Right, they’re still holding hands. “Yeah, I guess… I mean I know… I mean, I like you. Too. I think.”And that’s good enough for Richie. He picks up the pace again, Eddie scrambling to keep up with his strides. His legs are too short to catch up with his freakishly tall friends sometimes.As they round the corner to Bill’s street Richie turns to him suddenly with a genuine smile. He looks like a frog. Eddie likes his face so much.

“Just give me one more,” Richie says and holds up a finger as to verify the number. “Just one.”

Eddie looks around. “Anyone could see. A-and I don’t think it’s very sanitary to kiss someone who hasn’t brushed their teeth in like what, nine hours?” His voice crawls upwards into a squeak because as he is speaking Richie starts leaning in until his nose is almost touching Eddie’s. He smells very clean, like laundry detergent. Eddie loves that smell.

“Don’t kiss me then.”“I won’t. There’s statistically 80 million microbes being transferred every time you kiss, so I won’t.”

Richie is really close now. “Why are you not pulling away then?” His breath hits Eddie’s face.“I-I, I don’t – I don’t know.” He looks up into Richie’s eyes, they’re full of affection and focused entirely on him, and he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.

Eddie Kaspbrak hates germs but maybe for Richie Tozier he can make an exception.

He kisses him again.