#Not really related to the core content of this post I'm just still mad about it

[prolibytherium]

Reddit fandoms trend towards being extremely stuck on character morality issues and will often disregard any degree of nuance in favor of labelling any bad person a sociopath incapable of human emotion. Reddit fandoms are often neutral-leaning-hostile towards 'shipping', and are often disinterested in melodrama and emotional nuances of their media to the point of outright denying or lamenting its existence. Reddit fandoms tend to be heavily dogmatic about canon as a concept and hostile towards interpretations of the source material that are anything less than explicitly spelled out as canonical, (with some exceptions for widely held pet fan theories)

Tumblr fandoms are less hung up on morality (outside of certain circumstances like when it can be used to label a blogging rival problematic, or when a character is a woman) and more willing to embrace nuance and grey morality, often to absurd ends where the worst guy on the planet is considered a soaking wet little kitten born in a cardboard box all alone. Tumblr fans will watch literally ANYTHING and interpret it as a romantic psychological drama-tragedy about queer suffering and yearning etc. Tumblr fans tend to be primarily interested in a version of their media that exists only in their own head, often to the point of being borderline unrecognizable as the source material.

tumblr fandoms and reddit fandoms are different in many ways but they share a commonality in many people having a dominating and singular focus on one very small aspect of the show (on tumblr it's almost invariably a ship, reddit tends to get more creative but is still often very obnoxious)

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 14: Octonary 8️⃣

----------

Octonary (adj.)

relating to or based on the number eight; consisting of eight; in sets of eight

----------

Yet more evidence I did not arrange the prompt list as carefully as I could have. 😅

BIG missed opportunity to make this the word for Day 8, or at the very least Day 16 (because multiples of 8, etc.) 

Oh well! 🤷‍♀️

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a little more about my thoughts/process for the art...and some frustration caused by the posting mishap I got started with today. 🙃

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

----------

You were going to get a nice, properly typed description for this piece today, but then Google Chrome decided it hates me and crashed with no warning whatsoever and DeviantArt's new Studio Submission Portal has the exact same STUPID fatal flaw that kept me using the Sta.sh Editor to get art submissions ready for years instead of the standard submission portal—It either can't or won't reliably auto-save as you type. 🤬🤬🤬🤬 [Context: I start typing out these long descriptions on dA first since that's been my primary posting place for years and I'm used to their font, formatting, and emoticons; And only semi-recently I started copy & pasting them over here on Tumblr, which is why this rant is still relevant here.]

Just when I had about warmed up to the "Studio," here I am FURIOUS all over again that DeviantArt, in all their infinite wisdom and updates no one asked for, STILL cannot be bothered to program freaking auto-save into the submission portal AND they took away the ability edit text in Sta.sh so you don't even have an on-site alternative option that will auto-save anymore.

I'm so mad. I'm SO mad. At the core I'm not even that mad specifically about the content I lost today, but the everything else it represents and is conceptually tied into. And I so don't have time to really get into that right now because I have to re-do something for this description other than just being angry because I have other things to do today and this has already set my schedule back badly enough as it is.

Allow me one more moment to scream in frustration:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARARARARRARARAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alright. Now then.

You get a very basic bullet point list actually about the art because that's all I think I can manage through my ire at the moment:

This prompt, much like Day 11 serves as more evidence that I didn't curate the list as carefully as I could have. There was very much a missed opportunity to make this the word for Day 8, or maybe at least 16 or 24 since those are multiples of 8.

I opted to keep things simple for the mandala. Not as simple as just using the "8" shape over an over because I thought that would be too limiting and boring. I Googled "Octonary" to see if anything visually helpful would come up and found this webpage talking about "Octonary" paths that the Knight piece might take in a Chess game.

After starting with a big Octagon as a base, I took inspiration from the diagrams on that webpage to fill the space. I started with a big 4-point division from one of the diagrams that resembles the iron cross, but ended up modifying the lines into more of an 8-point star shape because the 4-point divison wasn't working for me with all the other 8-based motifs.

And I did still use a fair bit of those 8-based shapes to try and bring in some more softness since the Chess-inspired bits were all very straight and angular.

In general I tried to work in 8's where possible, but there were some things that slipped through that I'm purposefully not going to call specific attention to beyond this sentence acknowledging they exist.

More interesting that the mandala itself is probably the color scheme. How do you make a color scheme based on the number 8? 🤔 Traditionally, that would've been more difficult to answer. But digitally, I was able to take advantage of hex codes. I specifically looked up colors that only use the number 8 and/or 0 and started with those, and then at the very end added in two light grays that also add B and E because I needed some additional lightness I just wasn't getting with the 8's and 0's alone.

More specifically, if you're curious, my exact color palette was:

#888888 - Base medium grey for the whole thing

#000888 - dark blue

#800008 - darkish red

#080808 - near-black

#888000 - dull "gold"

#B8B8B8 - lighter grey

#E8E8E8 - lightest grey

I did toy with #088888 (teal-ish) and #800080 (dark fuchsia-y), but after reviewing my options for what I might use as a song pairing on Instagram (remember I mentioned that being a unique challenge with these on Day 12), they felt a little too at odds with the color scheme made by the others.

I do think the dark blue made this color scheme come out a little more similar to previous days that I really wanted, but by the time I realized that I could not be bothered going back to change it, so it is what it is.

If the coloring looks a little funny otherwise, I tried to add the colors still using just figure-8 shapes and then blending/blurring the splotches out to get better coverage. Probably kind of pointless and uncessary considering how the final product looks, but I couldn't help myself.

I don't think this is the strongest piece of the month by a long shot, but as I've said before they can't all be super complex or amazing. [And for the record, I thought that before the lost-description mishap.] In any case, I like my solution to the color scheme "problem" and there are still some good ideas/motifs within the mandala, even if the whole package maybe didn't come together as nicely as it could have.

...I think that's everything I wanted to mention. It's hard to tell after being so thoroughly derailed from my original thought-flow. 😠

But that's at least all I can think of at the moment, so I should probably leave this here and get on with cross-posting. Cross-posting is normally my least favorite part of the process and starting off with such a bag experience trying to get this far does not feel like a good omen for how that's going to go.

Wish me luck and happier thoughts, Sparklers—I'm going to need a lot of both. 😤

----------

See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

----------

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[nudiscoturkey]

My personal project: Nullite Chronicles

Alright. Where do I start with this. Those who have known me for a while - long before I made a tumblr account - know that I've been working on a novel series on and off for several years. However, it's better to think of it as just a story that's primarily told in novel format for the sake of convenience.

For those not in the know, however, here's some essential information on the state of the project:

The general concept has been a thing since 2013, and while much of it has changed since then, there are still some core aspects that have remained.

The reason why the ideas changed drastically over time is because I have been, and still am, guilty of letting ideas stew in my head and never really write them down in tangible form. Even now, I procrastinate on writing a ton and so there's plenty of things at risk of growing beyond their intended purpose.

Regardless, the first entry of the series took me about 2.5 years to complete (on and off, as usual). Long ago, I wrote nearly 3/4 of an entire novel that had a vastly different story before abandoning it. Long before that, I tried making a graphic novel of that same story before realizing how time-consuming the process would be.

As expected for a story written in first-person and has existed (to me) for over 10 years, it has a lot of personal meaning to me, though I will admit that there are some aspects that are undoubtedly personal yet I don't fully understand how. Perhaps the process of continuing the story will help me find out.

Now on to the concrete details. What is this story actually about and where can one even read about it?

As you have read, the series is called Nullite Chronicles. Still a working title, but it's what I've got for now. A sci-fi/fantasy series that, in very short summary, is about a goddess that decides to fuck around and give a few modern day humans reality-bending powers to see what happens, just because. The story follows these humans and the things that happen because of them.

The first entry was titled Crisis Inheriting. It should be important to note that this story begins from the perspective of some (relatively) ordinary humans and builds off from there. The story begins when a mad scientist passes away, allowing his inventions and research to be stolen. His son organizes a team to reclaim the stolen items.

The second entry, currently in progress, is titled Chaos Two Fold, following two of the aforementioned empowered humans right after the events of Crisis Inheriting.

To see archived art I've made related to the series, check out the deviantart gallery here. I may or may not update it in the future, it's there for the sake of archiving older art.

To read Crisis Inheriting, well... it's just a pdf on Google Drive. I really don't know of a better place to host non-fanfic writing right now, so it will do.

Chaos Two Fold can be found here, I simply update the file each time I release a chapter. I'll also try to announce new content here so you'll see this link again

Honestly, the real reason I made this post was because I've recently finished some art related to the story but I'd much rather give context to everyone before I start launching my art into the void. It's been many months since I last worked on the actual writing, so only time will tell if I'll pick it back up again. Besides, I'm sure many artists know the pain of drawing their beloved OCs so much yet not having enough motivation to expand on their lore :) you know it's serious when i actually write with proper capitalization and punctuation lol

[officeobject]

If you are "too clingy", "too emotional", etc, first of all, same (and I tagged some of the things that intersect with me being called "too much" and stuff), and second of all, let me just mention people I've found, who are clingy, perhaps like myself ...

Colby: A kind and playful teenage ghost, who watches me in awkward situations, regardless of what and which room I'm in, and who knocks stuff over when not getting attention. He's cute, he learns how to do stuff, fast, he smells like rubber, and I know he's not the most "accomplished" person, some might say, but he cuddles me down at night and keeps me company for as long as he can, he follows me wherever, doesn't judge me, and reassures me he's there, even if I ignore him, or we don't do much. Colby is such a spontanous teen, and whatever else one might be, while also being kind, dedicated, and over all, I'd take it as a compliment, if someone would compare me to him.

This one 30 year old I post on the Xanderweb about: This dude can get very mad at people (and maybe even things), and gestures with their hands a lot, but they're motivated, great at working, efficiently manages time and such, always looks pretty/stylish, and has to talk to people a lot in their office job I think (I don't know anything about office stuff despite liking it). They're also (probably) healthy, and know when to relax, and have recently been working towards better hydration (I think), and are actually content or even happy, to work, most of the time, and their job seems nice. I can't really describe their personality, but it's epic, and maybe I can't describe it, because it won't sound "good", even though for me, it is.

So, if you're being told you're too intense or whatever, you can still ...

Work a nice job

Have a nice car (that 30 year old has one)

Scare the crap out of people

Find someone who loves your platonic simping

Find someone to be a platonic simp for

Look great

Have a job that requires socializing

Be efficient

Be great at work

Choose to smell like rubber (Colby does)

Not get fired

Enjoy your job

Enjoy your life

Cuddle someone

Have routines

Be healthy

Relax

Balance things in your life (possibly also literally)

Look healthy

Look "productive"

Be "productive"

Have people to sit at the lunch table with

Have a watch

Look serious and professional

Live 30+ years

Accidentally become a living ghost (maybe)

Enjoy your hobbies

Wear merchandise

Have a workplace where you can gesture as much as you want and/or lie down and stuff, as much as you want

Not do my laundry like I asked you to (that one's at least for Colby Tybbles - like, come on, gotta at least TRY making your ghost do your chores for you)

Conclusion: Simp for me (just kidding, the conclusion is that you're not alone - maybe literally, and that you shouldn't feel bad just because some people dislike some traits you may feel are actually inherent, as you can be as "relaxed" as a living ghost, or as "successful" as an office worker, because there seemingly abnormal people, who seem to be so similar to me in terms of some core things, are enjoying life, and while my life isn't perfect now, I still enjoy it, and the time in my life where I think I've enjoyed it most, is when I was banned from an app and the people who knew me there, because I was reported by one of them, and 2 weeks later came here, though even BEFORE that, I've also been so happy and all, because I found this relatable 30 year old, and this unapologetic teenage ghost who experienced the same but for ME, and I used to think about how #TotallyRelatable the song "Monster" from "Skillet" was, and now, I can't recognize those feelings, as I, someone described as "insecure", "yandere", "manipulative", "attention-seeking", "need to calm down", "selfish", "egotistical", and more, just had a person I chose to be as clingy to as I wanted, and I did that from a distance, partially because we never run into each other, and in the process of just getting a basic "need to cling to someone" fulfilled, I have ended up knowing that these, "creepy", "boundary-crossing", "emotional", "clingy", "childish", "lazy", "petty", "pathetic", "irrational" people exist, and yes, it's just 2, one of them being a type of ghost (and Lord knows if he's real), but it still meant a lot, and that's what matters, and it meant that I wasn't a monster, even though I AM fecking weird, just like these cool yet goofy people, and they've given me MORE effects than just that, in life, plus, there's also the emotional impact that their personalities have - like what I feel about them, but overall ...

It's possible ...)

[soo-won]

Ok I’m going to rant about akayona chapter220. It’s going to be fairly negative so if you don’t wanna see it just…don’t read I guess. I just need to get some stuff out of my chest. It’s also very long and I’m sorry for that, it started only as a critic of chapter 220 but I got carried away and it ended up being a critic of akayona in general. I only started writing this to put all my negative feelings on “paper” but since it took me so much time to type I thought I could post it actually. I don’t normally do this and I only complain in private usually but I think I reached a point where I want more people to at least /know/ a bit more my PoV on the writing of akayona. Also for those who don't know me I'm a big Suwon and Coup Crew stan so if you hate them and think Suwon is bad, unforgivable etc I don't think it's really worth you read all that,,,, unless you want to be mad on purpose I guess. Anyways,

So. I hate this chapter. I hate this chapter so much it hurts me to my core. This chapter is my nightmare coming true. And to be honest, I expected something like that would happen sooner or later, but a part of me still wanted to believe it wouldn’t happen to the extent I feared it would. But oh well.

For those who follow me, it's not a secret that I’m a Suwon stan and a coup crew stan in general. So I’m particularly sensitive to their treatment and development more than for other characters. That doesn’t mean I’m not attentive to the development of the others, but it affects me less. When I translate the chapters I always pay the utmost attention to details and I’m trying to stay as close as possible to what Kusanagi tries to convey, whether I like it or not. And even if I don’t show it I still spend a big part of my time thinking about Yona and Hak as well. I shouldn’t even have to justify myself for feeling the way I do, since I don’t think it would change anything whether I truly hated the rest of the cast or not, but I still wanted to say it to avoid any “why do you keep reading it if you hate everything but these few antagonistic characters” or “You’re just the same as E/T if you translate akayona when you think this way”.

I love akayona, I literally can’t say I don’t, given the quantity of time and energy (and money) I spent on it. Whether by making content or just thinking and talking about it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything negative towards it. It can coexist. I’m so mad BECAUSE I love akayona so much.

Other thing, despite all the jokes I make about understanding Suwon better than Kusanagi herself or other fans etc (if you follow me on twt) I don’t want to pretend I’m THE fan that is right about everything about him. Suwon is a complex character and it’s entirely possible to have different interpretations of him that are equally right. I don’t want to pretend that for akayona in general. Maybe I really do read akayona totally wrong. Still, I want to share my opinions.

So, chapter220 hurts. It hurts because I’m an akayona fan exhausted of every character being on Yona and Hak’s sides, I’m exhausted of the ddhhb’s actions never having any kind of negative consequences, I’m exhausted of them never making mistakes anymore(actually they do make mistakes. But never acknowledged or addressed in the story.) I know this is Akatsuki no /Yona/. I love Yona. She’s my daughter and I grew up with her and I can relate so strongly to some of her struggles. Still, my opinion is that being a protagonist shouldn’t stop you from actually learning from others and not having EVERYTHING and EVERY character revolve around you (and your love interest) all the time. It shouldn’t stop you from being wrong and making mistakes and not being constantly put on a moral high ground by the narrative and having conveniently everything going your way. Akayona, as far as I know, didn’t enter its final arc yet. If that was a final arc with the objective of showcasing all the progress she made, so there is no real need to show the downsides of her actions/ideals anymore because it was done throughout the course of the story before, I wouldn’t mind. I really wouldn’t. But when was the last time Yona made a mistake? When was the last time Yona was contradicted and it wasn’t framed like said character was actually wrong and/or ended up taking her side or Hak’s a couple of chapters later?

All of this is made worse and insufferable when it’s recently constantly put in comparison with Suwon’s side. Ch220 tries to imply that Yona and Hak being soft-hearted is a good thing, and I agree. I like that part of them. But I feel sick in my stomach when it’s obviously to make the contrast with Su-won, who in this chapter is ready to sacrifice the prisoners and who in the first pages of the chapter says to Yona he shouldn’t have brought her on the battlefield because she’s basically too nice and too naive. Like, obviously I don’t think Yona has the same ideology as Il now, even if she kept some parts of it. Obviously I know that Yona has her own ideology. But damn it felt so good to see Su-won finally voice out his frustration and bitterness at the situation. He never voiced something like that before and that’s really something I wanted to see. But how can I enjoy that when it was done only to show how wrong he is and to further humiliate him and put Yona on the moral high ground in comparison? Is it really that hard to respect a character’s negative feelings without making it a big win for one side and a big loss for the other? I would have preferred Yona telling him that it’s not the case directly or even opening up a discussion about Suwon’s own issues with his dad at this point.

I was already mad for Meinyan. I loved Meinyan the second she appeared. I was so happy with her introduction because I thought she would challenge Yona and the status-quo of the manga, and she voiced out everything I felt after the diary arc. Isn’t Suwon’s situation unfair compared to Yona’s? Isn’t it unfair how Yona is healthy and has the dragons with her while Suwon and Meinyan have nothing of that and a chronic illness that k*ll them so young and make them go through terrible pain? And it’s (possibly) because of a god Yona is the acclaimed reincarnation of?

Yona working hard and also suffering in her life has nothing to do with it. The issue is that Yona has more in her hands from the start, while Hiryuu’s descendants have less. Not everyone gets 4 dragons with godly superpowers(one who literally can’t die included) after a difficult time of their life. Kouren and Suwon had simple humans supporting them after what they went through very young. And these simple humans aren’t bound by some weird blood/divine contract to stay loyal to them no matter what, and they can die and be wounded enough that they can’t fight again. Yes the dragons’ power have downsides to them. But it’s stupid to pretend it’s still not a privilege to have them by your side. The dragons may have direct downsides because of their powers but Yona has not. Yes, the dragons chose to follow her of their own, because they were moved by Yona’s actions and words and genuinely loves her as human, but still, if they ever disagreed with her and wanted to choose another side like Algira and Vold did with Kouren, or Geuntae did here with Suwon, they literally could not. That’s what I wanted akayona to explore and point out, that’s what I hoped with Meinyan. Even if Suwon doesn’t want the dragons for his own personal reasons, having Meinyan who doesn’t have that same background was interesting and a good occasion to explore that. Damn if I were her I would be bitter too.

But I was stupid, it was over the second Kusanagi made her have a flaw coming from all this(natural)bitterness, that is to blame Yona to the point of almost slapping her and wanting to get the dragons for herself and Suwon as a revenge against life(which is, once again, understandable if you ask me.), to distract us and the characters from the real issues I developed just above. Meinyan was wrong! Look, the dragons are saving her! Look, Yona is so nice and defends her too! Meinyan has almost nothing against her anymore ahah! Why would she after all Yona is so nice she even brought her little squirrel back 😊! She’s indebted to her now!

And it’s like that everytime. For everyone. But Meinyan’s case made me especially angry because Kusanagi really made a character that voiced my own feelings and framed her as a crazy girl who’s wrong and made her miserable and then sidelined her the second she was indebted to Yona. Her only role was to show how wrong you are if you ever dare to also feel this way as a reader and that’s it.

The only exception to this is I’d say coup crew for now. And only partially. Especially Suwon, who despites everything, still doesn’t want to open his heart to Yona. And I love him for that. And tbh I don’t think Yona really gives him any reason to so far. But Akayona doesn’t seem to think this way, given how everytime Suwon FINALLY lets out his frustration and bitterness a bit it’s always in a situation that makes him look bad and always results in negative consequences. When Suwon finally voiced out how he was so tired of these gods and dragon talks, in part because of his painful memories of Il, that made him choose to execute and then imprison Meinyan. Which obviously makes him look bad and now she hates him too. When Su-won voices out his bitterness at Yona’s naivety and kindness in this chapter, of fucking course it’s in the situation where that makes him sacrifice innocent Kouka prisoners! In front of Geun-tae himself at that! These events are not bad by themselves. I love Suwon for his flaws as well and I’d love to explore them and have him grow from them. But I have to ask, when did that ever happened for the ddhhb to that extent (their negative feelings causing real negative consequences I mean)

Like even in the water tribe arc(which was 130~140 chapters ago) when Hak hurt jaeki and suwon’s bodyguards, the consequences were still pretty okay. Jaeki never were mad at him for that, Hak didn’t lose anything by doing what he did. That only made Ju-do even more bitter towards Hak, but that’s also resolved today and it’s not like it ever had any concrete consequences on Hak/the ddhhb either. And we were supposed to feel bad for Hak. When Yona let out her frustration at Suwon working with them and acting all innocent with Lili I loved that. It was good because we understood perfectly Yona’s feelings, but that still didn’t make her reaction perfectly reasonable either, and she could calm down and recompose herself only after Zeno told her that Su-won was just helping, that they had the same objective, and that he was trying to help Yona too( for the poisoned arrow). It was well balanced, and in the end it was tensed but framed pretty neutrally, as Yona immediately protected Su-won after that too. In the end Yona gained something, as she grew up from the experience.

But in chapter220, the direct consequence of Suwon daring to voice some of his negative feelings is that he loses Geun-tae, one of his most loyal allies, who decided to choose Yona’s side instead. And man that hurts. It feels so unfair. Obviously if you only take this chapter, Geun-tae’s choice is understandable and he doesn’t do it against Suwon, but when you think about akayona in its entirety again it feels so. so unfair.

Having Geun-tae agree and show the deepest of respect to Yona in front of Suwon here because of Yona’s kindness for the prisoners of the Earth Tribe implies that Suwon is, unlike Yona, cold and cruel. Whether it’s intended or not(which I think it is). But we saw everything Suwon did for the Earth Tribe and Geun-tae. Damn a whole mini-arc was about that. Suwon would have taken some actions in Awa too if Yona hadn’t arrived and fixed the Kum-ji case before him. Su-won said it during Soo-jin’s rebellion, that having as few casualties (on Kouka’s side, I admit) as possible was his utmost job. Suwon helped revitalize the Earth Tribe and made Geun-tae realize his own power and influence as a leader. Suwon likes the man! Suwon also spared Kyoga, Iguni’s and Tae-jun’s life and even gave the brothers prestigious titles and important responsibilities. Of course to that you can reply that he did not do it out of kindness, but out of calculation, as it helped him in his plan of making Kouka stronger. And yes, I agree that Suwon’s methods are not as selfless as Yona’s. But is that bad? I agree it’s not perfect and it can risk ppl feeling used by him. But I mean, he doesn’t do that out of selfishness, he does it for Kouka. And he does it really well at that. Suwon loves people, and he sees something good in every one of them. And by using positive manipulation he gives them the push they need to exploit their own abilities and fight for him. I think it’s a beautiful power too. The manga puts the emphasis on the power of Yona’s kindness and I agree it’s a beautiful power, but I want to put the emphasis on Suwon’s power because so far no character does in the story. I think it’s really beautiful and meaningful the way he never does things instead of others, he makes them do it themselves. He constantly humbles himself. He doesn’t exactly revitalize the Earth Tribe, he uses his wit to have Yuno use her assets and to have Geun-tae finally show the face of the proud and cool general everyone admires. And why did he choose these two things specifically? Because he loves Yuno’s tea. Because he admires Geun-tae and looks up to him. And he wants to use that and make it a strength, to them and to him. And the differences with Yona’s methods are soo interesting because let’s take the only character (that isn’t Suwon) I still didn’t totally lose all my hopes for: Lili.

Lili is at the same time Yona’s best friend and Suwon’s friend. She was influenced and saved by the both of them. She also has a background that makes her able to relate to the both of them, or the both of them relate to her. Yona’s method is that she’s pro-active and tries to do everything herself. She will take matters in her own hands, and she would rather have no one else involved if she could. So in the water tribe arc she tries to protect Lili. She tells Lili she doesn’t have to worry because she will fix all the problems herself(and with the ddhhb), and at that Lili is frustrated. Lili is prideful and wants to be able to do something herself as the daughter of the water tribe’s general. She feels so ashamed to let that girl younger than her that isn’t even from the tribe do everything while she does nothing. And in response to that, Suwon tells Lili she can help, he encourages her to do things she can only do as the daughter of the water tribe’s general. That’s his method, he doesn’t tell her he will do things instead of her, he gives her the push she needs for her to do it herself. And don’t get me wrong, Yona’s being the way she is also immensely inspired Lili to become stronger herself but I think Lili represents the balance between both of their methods so well.

THAT is the akayona I love. The akayona that is well balanced, that shows that there isn’t only one good way to do things, and that no methods are perfectly flawless, and that these methods don't have to compete against each other and can be complementary. I miss that. What is left of that now, please tell me.

Anyway what I mean with all of this is that in the earlier arcs Suwon wasn’t portrayed as someone that is not soft-hearted. We saw it many times that he is, even if yes, indeed, he is ready to be cruel if needed for Kouka. And honestly, as a proud Suwon apologist(/hj) I can perfectly explain why he is acting the way he does recently. For me it’s really just that he’s pushed to his limits because of the illness and Yona’s presence. And don’t get me started on the illness and the way it’s just a plot device to make Suwon NEED the ddhhb’s help. It’s so bad. Anyway ch217 clearly shows he’s pushed to his limits with everything that is happening recently and he’s kinda in a fog right now I think. But I wish the story showed that more lmao. How he’s not exactly as usual or like before bc of the circumstances. Like as far as it goes that explanation is just me finding him excuses and it’s not really in the text lmao, I can admit that. But if that’s really it, I don’t think it’s made clear enough at all, and the narrative treats his methods as if they were 1. The same as Yuhon’s 2. As if he was at his best right now. Which isn’t the case. Like it sure is easy to make the comparison with the ddhhb’s method and show how their kindness and selflessness is the best thing ever if you shot Suwon in the foot just before. (shooting Suwon in the foot here is giving him the crimson illness and (gestures) the reveals about Yuhon and Il.)

And you know, I can see this current arc be about Suwon facing the flaws of his father’s methods, and coming back to his own ones, but that doesn’t change that in my opinion the execution so far is bad for all the reasons developed above. I could also rant about all the issues with the way Il-Yuhon’s conflict is treated but I don’t feel like it today. Basically I think it’s bad too and not balanced at all. Kusanagi tries to at the same time pretend it’s balanced and make them both gray and flawed while making Yuhon’s gray MUCH darker than Il’s and also never gives Yuhon his own PoV unlike Il. Who also had Yonhi siding with him. Anyway, (I’m not saying I want Yuhon’s awful actions to be excused btw I just wish we knew more about him.)

Back to chapter 220 again ( I’m so sorry this is so disorganized) I want to make a point on Geun-tae precisely too.

Geun-tae choosing to help Yona instead of obeying Suwon’s order is a huge blow because it’s Yona, who for the first time takes something from Suwon directly, something that he had gained with his own hands (Geun-tae’s loyalty). And obviously she doesn’t do it on purpose. But the result is the same. Before that the allies Yona had were people who were outside of Suwon’s circle anyway, so he could ignore it. But starting now it’s going to change and despite me wanting to give up this series for good, a part of me is still curious to know how he will react next. I hate how Suwon still holds me in a choke hold. But in the end it’s still a character that AGAIN ended on Hakyona’s side and at the same time something that Suwon lost to prove to him AGAIN that he’s wrong and it has become insufferable to me.

But yeah Geun-tae. I already hated how he was put down out of nowhere like that to make Hak save the day again. Because I only briefly mentioned Hak so far but I don’t think I can take him seriously anymore as he is recently. I’m really not against the ddhhb having cool fight scenes and being sexy and all that but for Hak it got ridiculous. So now we have Geun-tae, one of the two only darker skinned characters of akayona btw, who was shot with several arrows before the war even started, has been in a coma for like 7 chapters, and is not able to fight ever again because of his wounds. And he was saved by Hak. Hak who was also shot with arrows like 3 or 4 times already and was just fine a few days later. Hak who was heavily wounded at Kin too and was washed away by a flooding and has not a single lasting impairment after all that and basically regained his superhuman strength after sleeping for a week? Like ok I know Hak is strong and he’s basically the second main character with Yona at this point but this is a lot to take in. Especially when superposed with Geun-tae’s situation.

Like obviously self-sacrifice and selflessness is so glorified with Hak(it’s only a problem for the dragons for some reason. But we’re still at the exact same point of Jaeki being reckless and Shin-ah and Zeno rescuing them and being mad at them as 100 chapters ago. So I don’t know if it will ever go beyond that.) if Hak never has to suffer from the consequences of his actions. I’m not saying Hak is bad for trying to protect everyone. I’m saying it’s not healthy and can’t be realistically accomplished and he only hurts himself in the process. That if he was like any other character that isn’t the hhb he would either be dead or not able to fight anymore (like Neguro or Geun-tae). But visibly actually he’s fine. He hurts himself but he doesn’t seem to care and he recovers quickly. He learned nothing from this. So oh ok what could evidently be a downside of Hak’s way of doing things isn’t one just because. And it’s even glorified. Oh well.

Like you see. That’s why I feel the story is so unfair to Suwon. While it is SUPER lenient to the ddhhb, to coup crew and especially Suwon their every thought and action are judged. And yes, I know the ddhhb are the main characters. But idk to me Suwon was always a main character too. To me Suwon and Yona were the two sides of the same coin. And when I reread akayona until Xing I can’t believe I was wrong for seeing it that way. So why is Suwon at the same time given “so much focus” recently but also treated this way? I wish I knew.

When will Suwon be given the same space to heal? When Yona and Hak express their most negative feelings(once every blue moon) they get comfort and compassion. Both by the characters and the narrative. Why doesn’t Suwon have that same luxury? Because he’s king? Because it’s his own fault for not making allies the exact same way as Yona? I’m sorry but I personally want to believe that you don’t have to be as selfless and generous as Yona to deserve that. Yes, even if he hurt his friends I still think he deserves to be happy. Because hurting your friends and making mistakes is part of life you know. And even if Hak and Yona never forgive him that doesn’t mean his life should stop there. Even if coup crew indeed doesn’t give him the comfort(even if I believe they are the support he needs as a king) he would need for a lot of reasons, even if indeed, Suwon refuses himself to really open up to anyone, the narrative doesn’t have to add this nasty framing of Suwon being cold and wrong and stupid and taking more and more from him everytime. Recently it just feels like the story is repeatedly beating Suwon until he cracks and gives in to Yona and it’s very uncomfortable. So what if someone doesn’t want to join Yona’s side or open up to her? It doesn’t mean they’re wrong, it means they simply don’t want to. And in my opinion given their complicated relationship, Suwon has a lot of reasons to not want that. (I’m not saying Yona is all wrong and a manipulative mastermind either. Actually despite everything I can’t help but being rather fond of her personality, but everything around her is really messed up imo)

Now let’s take an example from this chapter. If you wondered at the beginning of this long rant what I was thinking of when I said that the ddhhb had flaws actually, they are just not acknowledged by the story, well this chapter has one just for you.

Kija and Jaeha(and the hhb in general) are furious that Kura-u is throwing rocks and using civilians and prisoners as if they were disposable assets and yeah that’s fair. That’s really cruel. But like can we…go back in time briefly and readdress when during the tournament 40ish chapters ago these same Jaeha and Kija were throwing rocks and boulders at civilians. That they were EXTREMELY lucky no one was hurt because I genuinely don’t know how they could even properly control where they were throwing them exactly(especially Kija who isn’t reputed for his delicacy in battle). How people would have probably either died or been hurt if that hadn't been for Hak having his ridiculous strength and being able to catch said boulders with one hand like it's a ball.The fact Kija and Jaeha endangered innocent people like that is never framed as wrong or messed up. It’s even rather framed as bold and cool and smth justified so really seeing them being so mad at Kura-u now is...something. (I know Jaeha apologized to Geun-tae for endangering Yuno and Lili, thank god he did, but for some reason it’s not a thing for the nameless civilians? What I mean anyway is that they’re not villainized for it.) In chapter220 Suwon points out that acting too recklessly and without following the plan can be fatal and cause them damage. This is a decent argument imo even if you could still argue that to stick to a plan too much can cause damage too. But it’s not even considered seriously because their recklessness is never a problem even in the situations where it logically should. But oh you can be sure that if anyone on Suwon’s side takes a risk, said risk will surely happen and they will suffer from the consequences immediately (ie: everything I said above). Anyway when people talk about the hypocrisy of the narrative that’s what they mean.

I’m begging anyone reading this to not tell me that we don’t know what is going to happen next and that I should just wait and not be so pessimistic. I’m truly begging I’m just tired I’ve been waiting for YEARS for the ddhhb’s ideals and methods to be challenged a bit. Years. Even when I was still a big ddhhb stan. And everytime there is a perfect occasion to do that or at least throw some hints it doesn’t do it and does the exact opposite by putting them on the moral high ground without any counter arguments. Not even a single hint in the way it’s framed. No no they’re constantly glorified instead. Guys I swear I love them and I’m actually dying to see more of what they’re thinking recently and I want them to have a good and interesting development but I also just wish Kusanagi was as compassionate with all her other characters and especially the characters not on the ddhhb’s side as with them. Like not even giving them as much focus because I’m well aware it’s not doable but just…giving them a bit of that compassion. And not just when they start becoming Yona’s or Hak’s friends. Amiright Meinyan. Like I’m not even talking about just Suwon I really mean in general.

And if you want to show me that I’m wrong on anything here(I’m sure I am. Tbh I’m just begging for someone to prove me wrong and convince me akayona is actually good i’m desperate to that extent) please show me examples that are not from BEFORE the Xing Arc. I think it’s where a big shift happened and most of the problems I have with akayona started there. Some issues started before that and it wasn’t perfect before either but I feel like it’s where it started to get so bad imo.

Also let’s be honest, after everything we learned about Suwon, do you honestly think he deserves any of what is happening to him? If you do, I don’t really expect to change your mind. But he was 9 when he lost his two parents and had to lead a faction. He didn’t have anyone he could emotionally depend on a bit. He doesn’t have a bad heart. All the circumstances were against him. It was shown again and again that he clearly didn’t want to hurt Yona and Hak. He didn’t even kill Il only out of revenge and everything he ever did was for Kouka. He protected Yona and Hak throughout the course of the story whenever he could. He’s not perfect and yes he hurt Yona and Hak immensely and he hurt others as well but I think the story is already reminding us that more than enough. He’s suffering and he’s 18 and has the country on his shoulders while he’s chronically ill and knows he will die soon. He shouldn’t deserve any divine punishment or karma retribution or anything for his actions, the only ones allowed to judge him are those he hurt. And even then I want him to be allowed to express how he was hurt by others too. I swear killing a bad king isn’t that awful esp in this historical context. Yona would have done the same if Suwon had been a bad king too. Yona actually did the same by killing Kum-ji even if obviously on a lesser scale. I know hurting his friends this much is a lot but I wish the story would treat Suwon as the traumatized young man he is. Just like it treats Yona and Hak’s traumas with so much care and compassion. I wish he was treated as the 18yo that due to a lot of circumstances couldn’t see any other options back then and still can’t. Like he’s not some grown ass adult with authority who hurt Yona and Hak for the sake of it (*stares at Il*), he is around their age and their relationship had problems that made things happen this way. He does the best he can with what he has and he always has.

Once again, maybe I really read akayona wrong. And I’m honestly embarrassed of feeling so strongly about it and ranting about it that much. And I still have so many things to complain about. I started writing this to let out all my negative feelings and at least I have to admit it helped me calm down and I don’t feel as angry as before I started typing this. I understand people who just don’t care about all the problems I see in this manga because they’re simply enjoying it for what it is. I really respect that. Unfortunately I don’t feel that way anymore and to be honest, akayona brings me more pain than anything. I disagree with too much of it. I’m still fond of it despite all of that for everything it brought me too and I’ll probably keep loving the first half of the story. But loving Akatsuki no Yona for me is unrewarding. The more I think and try to analyze it the more I see problems with it, and the more I get scared and hurt, and I don’t think anything could ever fix all the isses it has at this point. What will I do now I honestly don’t know. I’m giving myself some time to decide. I just don’t want to feel this way because of a manga ever again. I don’t want it to end now because it still has much to tell but I wish it was already finished so I could just move on and not have this constant reminder that “next chapter will surely hurt me in some way too. I wonder what it will be this time.” and then be hurt every month or every two weeks. I love making my own headcanons and making fancontent of it in general because the characters and universe still inspire me so much. But at what cost. I don’t feel like it’s worth all that pain anymore.

Lastly, all my personal feelings and history with akayona apart I still think thaht you don’t have to be as obsessed with it as me or be as angry as me to see some of its flaws and read akayona critically either. I hope whoever is reading this and made it here manage to only get good things from akayona, but please that respect people can be mad and voice their more negative opinions too. Even if they just straight up hate akayona. I think ppl should be allowed to express it (as long as it follows basic social/fandom etiquette you know,) It’s not like I will ever go tell Kusanagi directly or harass anyone over this.

Chapter 220 marks the 100th chapter since my very favorite Akatsuki no Yona chapter, and is also the chapter that makes me want to drop it. It marks my worst nightmare, Suwon’s allies joining Yona’s, coming true, and the day after Suwon’s birthday at that. Ch218 was already a lot to take in for me but it really feels like the final blow. I could not even translate the chapter at the best of my capacities this time (don’t worry I was in charge of only a part of it and my mistakes were corrected/rewritten, it was proofread etc. Everyone say thank you to ProjectVinland filled with wonderful and talented people.) and if I can’t even do that anymore I think it’s the sign I really should take a break. The worst thing is that I still had like 3 different akayona scenarios I want to draw comics of in my head as I wrote all of this. I wonder what I have to do for akayona to finally leave my brain.

[macgregorhoughton]

First off, thanks for sharing your headcanons, I love them! I'm really hoping theres gonna be ride references too, from the clips we're getting the puns at least. I'm gonna be watching the backgrounds for any sneaky references to the Society but I bet you're right, its going to be in there somewhere. I’m the same with the Native issue, I’m a bit worried how they’ll deal with it but hope they might have a bit of awareness and address how messed up some of the stereotypes the ride had were- cont

Response under the cut! (following asks copied there too for reference)

First of all before I respond to anything, you do not have to apologise. This is quite literally my dream way to spend my time- talking to someone about a thing I like at length. The fact that you checked all the posts I made and took time to respond to them with your thoughts means the world to me.

2- I’m also really hoping we get a lot for McGregor (wtf is with that alternate spelling Disney?? But I do want the other two to call him Mac, I’d love that), learning to relax and find his place. I LOVE that Lily gets to do physical comedy, you’re right female characters often only get to be funny so long as that means they can still be sexy while doing it. Lily looks like she just goes “nope” to that and dives headfirst into a bit of slapstick and I love her already- cont

3- I really like Dwayne, hes got a warmth to him that comes across in Frank, even if hes trying not to show it to the siblings at first. I really want proper sibling moments too and I love that little one we got in the clip. Like, “you don’t get to laugh at my sister, now excuse me while I go give her a hand while laughing at her”. Like thats a great example of having siblings, I’ll help you out, but I’m totally going to mock you while doing it, but no one else can. BTS have me hopeful too- cont

4- I love your idea for the coming out scene. I think they’d be walking a very fine line in order to get it right, but if they did it could be wonderful. I really really hope we get that scene, no skirting around it or making vague illusions, I want McGregor to say “I’m gay” outright. Like, we’ll all know he is even if they don’t let him say it but for once I want Disney to live up to what they promised and let an actual main character be actually gay.- cont

5- I love the connection with the lights for our trio in the posters, I didn't put that together. I really want them to be a proper Trio, I’m really hoping this is a success so we can get sequels. Even if they’re terrible I still want them to see these three together. FRANK IS HUGGING MCGREGOR, I’VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ALREADY. I don’t really have many thoughts on our three villains, other than I'm getting evil musketeer, smug plantation owner & WWII in that order- cont

6- I LOVE THAT GIF SET OF THE PUNS SO MUCH!! McGregor’s little smile and his laugh, hes loving it, Frank is loving getting a reaction, Lily is going to eventually find it funny how unfunny they are. I can’t get over how much I love McGregor’s little face in this, I can’t want for this scene, I’m gonna join you in imploding. Also, in your protective brother gifset, is he wearing a little tartan/ plaid suit? Love it. And on that note, I adore Lily’s costumes- practical and realistic but flattering

7- ok so thats me taken up far too much of your ask box, I haven't even property looked at the press tour things yet, but I do have one more thing, I have a theory about how Jack ends up in the middle of Emily and Dwayne's kiss if you'd like to hear it. Thanks for kickstarting this fandom and the wonderful gif sets, we're so close now! - Skip

So on to my very long response!

I've watched SO much about the ride just so I'm prepared to catch any reference. They just released Behind the Attraction on Disney+ and ep 1 is about the Jungle Cruise ride (Dwayne Johnson is in it too!). He talks about how much he loved the ride as a kid and used to imagine himself as a skipper which is SO cute and I'm so happy his dreams came true (and I find it very relatable as someone who dreams about being a raptor handler at Universal).

I'm genuinely a lil mad that the spelling changed. Because if you google it really everyone thought it was McGregor, they must've at some point released something on the movie for the press with that spelling and then changed their mind. Now everyone has it wrong because I suspect these featurettes are also gonna be the DVD/Bluray extras so I'm confident this is the final spelling. However I will continue to live in denial until I see the other spelling ON SCREEN.

"I really like Dwayne, hes got a warmth to him that comes across in Frank, even if hes trying not to show it to the siblings at first." Yes! I love that every character is a trope that I ADORE. Frank is the cynic who thinks everyone just wants to cheat you anyway and miracles don't exist who eventually cracks and warms up to people and shows that there is a soft, warm person in there after all. Lily is wildly optimistic and aggressively individualistic, not trying to fit in or caring about what anyone thinks and will probably have a moment of losing that optimism and doubting herself after all. And McGregor is the person who appears to think he's better than everyone, who's pampered and refuses to sacrifice any of the luxuries he's used to until he reveals he's gay and you realise most of it was just a show to cover up how hurt he really is. Three PEAK character tropes we're working with here and COMBINED with a reluctant-allies to lovers and a siblings trope.

"Like, “you don’t get to laugh at my sister, now excuse me while I go give her a hand while laughing at her”. Like thats a great example of having siblings, I’ll help you out, but I’m totally going to mock you while doing it, but no one else can" I have a gifset for that queued already, I love that you also focused on that rightaway bc I really went "Siblings! peak sibling energy!!" and gifed it immediately.

Based on the reports (that I cannot stress enough I have no idea how accurate they are) he doesn't say "gay" but it's unambiguous what he's talking about. Let's hope that's true! I'm imaginging some sort of "relationships with men" or "no interest in women but rather men" or sth like that. I hadn't really considered that it might be ambiguous to someone who doesn't know he's supposed to be gay so that's a new fear unlocked lmao

I'm going to be so sad if we don't get sequels cause so many franchises with several movies don't have a core group of actors that are just friends and get along as well naturally as these three. Or if we get more movies and Jack isn't in them or sth like that. Like any future where these three aren't the leading trio in more movies is a nightmare.

"I'm getting evil musketeer, smug plantation owner & WWII in that order" this sent me I swear. I'm most interested in Edgar Ramirez bc I'm curious abt the whole "conquistador alive "today"" thing. also what's up with the snakes lmao.

McGregor laughing at Frank's puns alone could sustain me another year if I had to wait that long for the movie. Luckily I don't have to. It is so wholesome tho, like the fact that they're gonna get along and also get closer and McGregor won't end up sidelined for being a bitch until the last minute or sth is so wonderful.

And yes! It's tartan! We've seen p little of the beginning of the movie in London and since that's gonna be focused on just Lily and McGregor I'm so excited bc we got so little content so there's gonna be SO much in the movie to look forward to that I can barely even piece together!!! (All we know is lily will steal the arrowhead before falling out of the window which mcgregor sees and he immediately follows her so I assume he knew to come there and that there's a scene where she asks him in one of their bedrooms about wanting to go on an adventure. So I'm assuming the bedroom scene comes first and she'll tell him about the arrowhead, he'll refuse to help her but decide to come last minute because he's worried about her (and the worry is immediately proven right as she falls out of a window lol). But we know so little that it's a really loose theory.

And yes!! Lily's costumes are so good. Frank calls her Pants so they will absolutely address that she's dressed very unusual for a woman of her status in 1916/17 and I hope they explore that a little and address where she even gets her clothes and everything. I mean Emily Blunt looks good in everything but the costume department really made something gorgeous with this. She is, for the time the movie is set in, very gender nonconforming which I love in a female lead. And Emily described Lily's fighting style as very Indiana Jones and brutal without much tactic or thinking and just brute force and I really would die for this characterisation. Like when I compare this to similar female leads like in The Mummy for example they're usually highly feminine, aggressive only in their attittude and witty banter but always emphasised to be beautiful and wearing dresses and lots of (usually historically inaccurate) makeup and they get like one scene where they smack the bad guy with sth heavy or sth so noone can say they're a damsel in distress even though they are. But Lily feels very much like a coherent person to me. She's very unusual for a woman at her time, her desire for adventure is in line with how she fights and dresses but she doesn't seem to have the "uwu I'm not like other girls" thing going on, she's just exactly who she is and wants to be.

and of COURSE I wanna hear your theory are you kidding! Cause I still haven't figured it out at all lmao. I just settled on "she probably meant he was off screen but right next to them while they filmed it" or sth bc I couldn't make sense of it otherwise.

also I haven't posted everything new directly here I think, but you probably know where to look for the new stuff. like there's some clips on their instagrams and most stuff is on youtube.