#Not SUPER rich people like in this movie. More like upper middle class at least.

[ero-keixx]

I'm rewatching the Titanic and the rich bitches in this movie makes me violently angry

[flying-elliska]

So I watched Happiest Season (livewatch with @beeexx my fave penguin enthusiast 🐧🐧🐧)

Overall I enjoyed it ? But it's not the light-hearted romcom it's been promoted as.

Spoilers !

The positive:

- Kristen Stewart, het icon of my teen years, is just glowing in this, like she is so happy to be finally playing gay lmao. This is really her story. Her character, Abby, is by turn charming, adorable, funny, and relatably awkward. Also, her glam butch style is just A++. And she has good chemistry with her co-star - they feel and behave like a believable couple (which has been a problem with actresses playing wlw in the past where you could really see they weren’t fully into it.) They were super cute together. This still feels cathartic somehow, like Bella Swan decided to go see a therapist instead of going off the deep end and finally figured herself out.

- I loved that this isn't the "token gays in a sea of straightness" trope. Abby's BFF is gay and really funny - and this particular trope feels a lot less annoying when the gay BFF is there for another gay person so it's more like queer solidarity instead of him being a prop for a straight person's development. Him trying to play straight was just hilarious. Aubrey Plaza plays Harper's (the other part of the main couple) ex and she is just great, seems a bit shady at first but her helping Abby out was just...so compassionate. Also she is probably the hottest character in this movie let's be real. And I loved the bit where she takes her to a drag bar (the straight bar where Harper goes to seems so drab in comparison fjfj)

- There were some funny, classic rom-com shenanigans moments - the sneaking around, getting stuck in the closet, etc...the creepy twins were quite funny too, if infuriating. My favorite was definitely Jane, the overlooked kooky sister, who "has been writing a fantasy book for the past ten years" (I can relate) and whose overachiever family has pretty much given up on her (I can also relate). 

-Ngl the whole ‘rich people being fake and neurotic and making everything x100 times more difficult than it has to be’ bit felt very realistic. Like, I’ve met those people, and they are just as annoying in this movie as they are in real life. Also a very realistic rep of having to fake who you are in a town full of fake people pleasers and over achievers (even if it was stressful to watch lmao) and how Christmas can bring out the worst in people.

- Even though it has issues, the ending was very heartfelt and I definitely cried. This movie is just really raw and sad in some parts, but in a way that felt genuine and you can tell that a lot of queer people were involved in making it. It really touches on this deep seated anguish of possibly being rejected, of not knowing whether your family is going to accept you or not, on desperately trying to pass because you’re afraid of change...I think a lot of that comes to the actors being really good, like all of them, and really acting their heart out. And the moment where the dad decides to forego a big donor/supporter because he doesn’t want to force his daugther to hide really touched me. I also really liked the part where the BFF talks about how everybody’s coming out journey can be different and it’s important to remember that, especially if you have the chance to come from a very tolerant background.

The Less Positive

- The movie has been criticized for being weirdly apolitical (for instance the dad is a mayor but we never learn anything about his actual political opinions) but tbh this is supposed to be a Hallmark-like holidays movie I think that’s kind of part of the genre to be in this sort of happy slightly tone-deaf bubble and I don’t think straight movies of this type get this sort of criticism so yknow i’m fine with that bit i guess not all queer movies should have to be deeply political (even tho yeah it’s still very homonormative and ‘all about family values’ etc etc)

- Most of the issues I have with this movie center around Harper, Abby’s love interest and the one who lies to her family about their relationship. Now, I think Mackenzie Davis is a really good actress. And I do feel sympathetic for the character. The movie really makes you understand all the pressure she’s under, how her parent’s love is conditional, all the public scrutiny, and why she behaves the way she does. And her finally pulling through made me cheer for her. However, there were a lot of moments in the movie where I was genuinely unsure if I should be rooting for Abby and her to stay together. She does a lot of things that are definitely deeply unhealthy and questionable and had me going ‘Abby pls run away while you still can’. I feel a lot of compassion for her. But I simply don’t think the movie gives us enough happy time with Abby and Harper for me to really want them to be together as a couple -they spend a big part of the movie being mad at each other. They should have given us more scenes with them at the start to really get a feel of who they are as characters and as a couple, so when it gets rough, we actually root for them to pull through. This is an issue a lot of mediocre romances have - they assume we will root for the characters just because they’re said to be in love. For me, that doesn’t really work. And even though the ending made me quite emotional (again, great acting) - as a romance, it doesn’t really work for me.

- I really liked the bit where the family realized they had been putting this pressure on each other to be perfect and as they shared all these secrets they finally came together as a family. But...honestly, the family started out as just so profoundly neurotic it felt a bit unbelievable (and their social circles felt like a nightmare). A bit like Abby and Harper’s relationship being all ok after Harper’s big change of heart. The whole ‘mom’s secret desire to do karate but it’s unlady-like’ being put on the same level as her daughter’s coming out had me rolling my eyes. And there is a forced coming out scene which I really really hate.

- I think what I am really tired of, is queer movies who center coming out so much, the anxiety of being accepted or not, etc. And who present coming out as this revolutionary process that is going to change everything immediately. In my experience, at least, it’s often a process of small inches, towards self acceptance, towards your family coming to terms and learning to be less unconsciously bigoted, sometimes good intentions, sometimes microagressions or being erased, etc etc. I also just really want queer stories and queer romances who are not centered on coming out, on ‘what will others/my family think’, who have shenanigans and tension based on other things, with characters who might struggle with self acceptance sometimes (or not) but who have other things going on as well and who are fuller characters. It’s about damn time. Until then, the movies we have will end up feeling a lot like a PSA for straight people.

Overall

I still think this is a pretty quality movie. Good acting, believable and often funny dialogue, good chemistry, etc. (And let’s be honest, the bar for wlw movies is uhhhh not very high.) I really enjoyed watching Kristen Steward play gay and have chemistry with pretty ladies. There was room for holiday gay movies (even tho I want to see more, with more diverse characters).

It feels like wish-fullfillment for a certain type of queer person - (upper) middle class, with parents who are...ambiguously accepting. It does transcribe well this tension of not really being to predict their reaction - and illustrates the importance of being very obviously accepting with your children - like tell them it’s okay for them to be gay from the start, even if they turn out to be straight - otherwise they will be left wondering if they’re not. It’s this fantasy that everything will turn out all-right after you come out, you will fit in your family better than before, your mistakes will be forgiven if you are earnest enough, and life can go on as usual but better. And it is sweet, and cathartic, in a way, even if not revolutionary.

But yeah, as a romance, I wasn’t entirely sold on it. And I think it was promoted as a lot more uplifting than it really was.

[deus-ex-knoxina]

When you added onto your tags and acknowledged that tightlacing is vastly different than corsetry... I'm ace and I think I'm on the aro spectrum but that was extremely hot of you and I think I fell in love

hey i’m on the aro ace spectrum too high five!! and FUCK yes i’m so glad that my strong feelings on making sure everyone knows the difference are appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!! and also you’re giving me this stellar opportunity to talk about it even MORE anon i love you let the infodumping commence

this gets long so the rest is under the cut:

TL;DR: corsets serve the same purpose as a bra, supporting from the hips instead of the shoulders. today, some people wear them for that purpose, and some people wear them as medical devices for scoliosis. if a corset doesn’t fit properly, it’ll be uncomfortable, which is why we hear actors complain about them so much (because they’re not wearing custom-made ones, like they would have, say, a hundred and fifty years ago).

so when everyone was wearing corsets, they had ones that fit them, and corsets HAD to allow women to breathe and move because EVERYONE was wearing them, including working-class women. tightlacing was done by a tiny minority of upper-class women to get the tiniest waist possible, which was fashionable at the time (and still is, if you look at modern waist trainers). and yes, it was damaging to them, but it’s not the intended purpose of a corset. the reason that so many people today think it IS is because of victorian men, who sucked.

(so don’t draw neil josten like a super-rich super-fashionable victorian woman)

(and that was the tl;dr so as you can imagine! what’s under the cut is quite long! BUT IT’S INTERESTING SO I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE U TO READ)

OKAY SO HERE’S THE DEAL. we always hear about corsets as like, women-oppressing torture devices. that’s not true. the *reason* we have all these misconceptions about corsets is the fault of victorian men, just like so many things are the fault of victorian men

the actual purpose of corsets??? like the ACTUAL actual purpose of corsets??? they have literally the same function as a bra. the benefit of a corset is that it supports from the hips and waist, not from the shoulders, so depending on your bust size a corset might be better for you (and for your back)!

and people do still wear corsets today, *not* just people dressing up. like i mentioned above, they’re practical, they’re COMFORTABLE ACTUALLY, and if you have scoliosis then special corsets are sometimes used as medical devices!

so back to them being comfortable. this is another huge-ass misconception. you know who wore corsets Back In The Day? women. not just rich women. middle-class women, working class women, EVERYONE. because it’s underwear. do you think a woman who lives on a farm and has to help with farm things could do that with a super uncomfortable, super tight corset? no.

you can try to lace your corset up as tight as possible, but if you have ANY form of core/abdominal muscles whatsoever, you’re just. not gonna be able to have a wasp waist. you’re just not! you have muscles there that can’t be pushed out of the way!

and are you REALLY gonna put all that effort in to lace it super fucking tight every single day? no. you’re not. because unless you’re super rich, you’re probably having a family member or spouse or maybe a single maid help you get dressed in the morning, and the two of you just don’t have time to turn ‘putting on undergarments’ into a whole fuckin’ production every single day.

but birl, you ask, why is it that movie actresses (such as emma stone and emma watson, literally just off the top of my head) always complain about corsets? simple answer: they’re not fitted well, and the actresses have been inundated with victorian men’s opinions on tightlacing and think that wearing a corset automatically means they’re gonna have their internal organs fucked up. if a corset doesn’t fit you, of course it’s gonna be uncomfortable!!!

and when it comes to movies/tv, whether it actually fits is... not always treated as a primary concern. because they’re doing it for costumes, and since it’s film, the actresses can change out of the corset and wear something else when they’re not filming. if you’re wearing a corset as part of your everyday clothes, you’re GONNA pay for one that’s made specifically for you (not to mention that off-the-rack clothing is a fairly recent invention, and for the vast majority of human history, clothing was made to fit an individual, so OF COURSE women would wear corsets that fit them)

costume corsets are frequently not a functional garment and they don’t need to behave like one. real corsets are, and they have persisted as a functional garment for CENTURIES, which they would *not* have if they were actively harming every single person who wore them. which, if you recall, was... pretty much every single woman. that’s the difference, and also, like i said, there’s an element of fear that also drives those actresses complaining because they have fallen for the victorian male complaining.

(side note: i watched enola holmes recently, and it’s a great movie, but for FUCK’S sake a corset is not a tool of repression any more than a bra is! i know some of y’all like to say that a bra is a tool of repression, because you hardly have any need for one! but a lot of people actually do need breast support SO THEY DON’T DEVELOP BACK PROBLEMS)

now. on to tightlacing, finally. with a normal corset, you lace it tight enough to get support from it, and no tighter, because why the fuck would you want to imprison your lungs and also you probably have core muscles because only a TINY subset of society was rich enough to afford zero abdominal strength.

tightlacing, on the other hand, is what most people think of when they think of a corset. pulling the laces on the back of the corset as TIGHT AS POSSIBLE (sometimes with multiple people pulling) to get a teeny-tiny waist. it severely restricts your lung capacity (since your lungs go all the way down your back), it forces your internal organs to move, and it can deform your ribcage.

additionally, since you can’t breathe very well, you have to breathe into the top of your chest (this is where the whole ‘heaving bosom’ thing comes from), so you can’t really engage in physical activity AND when you take your corset off, you’re likely to faint because of blood rushing everywhere.

and like i have mentioned SEVERAL times, if you have abdominal muscles, it is NOT GONNA WORK. because you can’t push muscle out of the way.

so this can only be done by the superrich, and IT WAS A FAD. i cannot state this enough. it didn’t last, because it fucked people up! and the fact that it wasn’t healthy, combined with some good old victorian misogyny, meant that victorian men were talking about tightlacing CONSTANTLY. and since normal corsets had been around for forever, nobody was talking about them because everyone knew how corsets were supposed to work!

which means, of course, that if you look at, say, victorian sources discussing corsets, they’re gonna be talking about tightlacing, and if you don’t live in a time where the VAST majority of women are wearing corsets, then you might not know that tightlacing is this weird fad among super-wealthy women and assume that it’s what everyone was doing!

now here’s the thing. we have bras now. we also have modern corsets. guess what? we also have modern tightlacing. those are waist trainers. now, i don’t know as much about them as i do about corsets, but i imagine they at least pretend to be better for you than tightlacing. don’t fall for it. being able to breathe is sexy.

AND if you’re interested in this, bernadette banner and karolina zebrowska have some great youtube videos on it! i actually don’t remember off the top of my head if bernadette banner has a video dedicated to corsets but she does talk about them when analyzing terrible ‘historical’ movie costumes

another side note: so what sparked this initially was talking about the aftg fandom and how neil josten is frequently represented in art as having a tiny waist. having made it to the bottom of this post, i hope u now have an ARSENAL of facts with which to know with 100% certainty that it is impossible for neil josten to have a wasp waist. the guy’s a d1 athlete.

and even if it’s some kind of AU, if he runs as much as he does in canon, no wasp waist. he has abdominal muscles. and body fat, because he is not a bodybuilder and he NEEDS body fat. i get that he’s short???? but he’s not a twink. he’s a future pro athlete. so even if he tightlaced a corset, he would STILL not have a tiny waist. it’s physically impossible for him.

the end!

[jess-the-vampire]

The Demon Next Door, Chapter 8

Previous/ Next

It had only been a few weeks since that day with Jackie.

That day marco hadn't made a complete fool of himself and ruined his chances with his crush.

And as a result, on occasion he found jackie waving to him, visiting his karate lessons, even coming over to their usual table to sit with him and his friends. She had actually chosen to sit with them, instead of her usual seat. It was a jolt of surprise and marco still felt like he was dreaming, he'd been hoping someday for her to be his date to the upcoming school dance in a few months from now and that dream was closer then he thought.

Even tom and star getting along better was a relief, tom didn't disclose much details but marco got the impression the two had been meeting up on occasion to talk outside of time with marco and whatever had caused this change seemed to have worked quite well. The two were kinda laughing together and cracking jokes and actually could be in the same room together without star being how she was before around tom.

Guess that meant tom was doing just as well with his own crush.

He was pretty happy for tom, but he was also always on the lookout for him, he found himself listening closer to the gossip around the school for any of the rumors around tom. Though on the plus side he hadn't heard any yet, however that could all be due to the fact everyone knew he and tom were close and marco would probably tell tom or call them out if they heard.

And marco would, he felt he would snap.

Tom was physically stronger then him, sure.

But Marco was willing to protect his friend anyway he could and he typically wasn't quiet about it when his friends where being mistreated.

He was so relieved when Saturday hit, he was invited over to tom's house for a sleepover, some one on one time with tom was just up his ally right now. He wanted to avoid the stress as quick as possible and just hang out with tom as per usual. Star was good to have but even he was worried she'd cause him a little stress right now since even she was a little too obsessed with Brittney's nonsense.

When Star first moved in she was more oblivious to how mean that girl was, but even she had to agree all the stuff being said about tom was a little too far, and she just did nothing but get frustrated every time she heard some rumor from janna or jackie or who knows who. Star was a bit popular, so she was bound to hear more then marco normally did and the more he heard the more his mood acted up.

Tom protected him from one of the bullies who plagued him, so he was going to do the same if he could, though maybe not by using karate on the rich Asian.

But he needed to calm down and just ignore that stuff, save it for when they got back to school and keep his mind on the positives.

He could actually see tom's room, hang out, even hang out with his parents some more since they were always happy to see the boy. Those were all things to look forward to tonight, marco offered to bring a movie or some games but tom insisted this time marco enjoyed tom's own things this time around, so marco's pack came with jammies, a fresh set of clothes and bathroom needs.

Though he was having a hard time leaving as his mother kept making sure he was fully packed when marco had already checked that 8 times before this point to make sure he had everything. "Mom, i'm only going to be gone tonight, and i'm across the street, i'll be just fine...if i forgot something you can just go across the street or i can and get what i need.".

"I know sweetie, just making sure!".

This wasn't a big deal, he's slept over with star on occasion, even if it was usually on the couch because her dad was super protective of his "Delicate flower". He'd be just fine, tom probably could chop someone's arm off if they came into his room in the middle of the night if he really wanted to. Besides, his parents didn't seem like people anyone wanted to mess with at all.

He'd be safe, his only real danger was making a fool of himself.

Though with one last check his mother kissed his forehead, marco said bye to his dad and little sister and headed across the street to ring the doorbell of the Lucitors. Hopefully whoever greeted the door didn't screech at him or crush him with hugs as soon as he entered.

He hadn't had many visits that didn't have either at this point.

Thankfully it was Tom himself who answered, followed by his dad, who had probably been nagging tom just as much about being ready for marco to come over no doubt.

But nonetheless, was happy to see him.

"Marco!".

"Tom!".

Marco was quick to hug his friend as the older man took marco's bags from him and brought them inside, leaving them on the nearest couch. The boys quickly headed inside and marco was greeted by the spooky red walls and dark furniture. The place still looked like it could easily be the setting of a vampire movie but marco had gotten used to it by this point.

And he shook Mr Lucitor's hand who now that he'd seen tom's strength, he felt foolish for not expecting it before.

Tom's parents clearly gave him their strength.

Though the first thing that really hit marco was the smell of fresh pizza coming from the kitchen, with garlic bread. Tom's parents had made their own, and it was amazing just to look at. His parents made amazing food too that honestly he hoped the two families would exchange recipes at some point, Mrs Lucitor was already there and waiting for him

And she was quick to crush marco with a big hug.

Marco was already part of the family as far as they were concerned.

"Mom careful, you don't wanna get too cosy with marco, then he won't ever wanna come back", tom teased, but considering it did avoid all the embarrassment marco had at home sometimes, he might just take tom up on his offer. He and tom were quick to pile up on pizza and bread and start munching at the table, Tom's plans seem to consist of video games, movies and ice cream.

It sounded great.

Tom's dad was chatty, going off about tom's karate lessons and how tom was already almost a green belt within a few weeks of class because of his skills and fast learning. Though granted Sensei probably just wanted him to upgrade faster so he didn't have to waste more time then he already did. But Tom's parents seemed super proud and seemed to believe it was all thanks to marco.

Marco doubted he was completely the reason tom was so good so quickly but it still was rather nice to hear their praises of him.

He was usually torn apart by his peers for karate, especially being in a class of mostly young kids and for especially being a green belt when at his age he could already be a red belt by now. But that seemed to not be the case with this family, tom thought it was amazing and so did his parents, honestly it was easy to see why tom was the way he was to an extent.

Well, minis the anger issues, but maybe there were some things tom wasn't telling him.

Dinner was spent chatting and enjoying good food, thought marco noticed tom's great great uncle never showed up at the table once again. He in fact hadn't seen the guy once since they moved in despite knowing he was there and being told he was there. Maybe the guy was bedridden? Or maybe he was out for the day ? Maybe he was actually sleeping instead?

Marco just had to admit his first encounter with the man really affected him so much he couldn't not forget it, it was utterly horrifying and he nearly fell down and hurt himself on the sidewalk because of it.

He sounded unpleasant though, not someone marco really WANTED to meet, especially at a nice dinner.

"-But we've gotten better about living around here, right?", the man looked to his wife who simply petted his head gently, "It's a lot calmer then back home, the streets are quiet and the people don't try to start fights with you whenever you meet them. It's honestly pretty great, and makes life at least a little easier for us. Tom's helped us get a better idea of the area thankfully...".

Wait, fights? What kinda weird place did they live before this point? Were they living in a violent community? They didn't read off as anyone who'd have previously lived in a violent city full of criminals but then again marco couldn't prove that for sure either.

Sounded crazy, maybe that was why tom was so good at fighting.

Tom finished his last scoop of ice cream before sighing, "Well, me and marco outta head up, uh...we'll let you know if we need anything or...you need us...uh...g'night!". He was quickly racing upstairs and he probably expected marco to follow with and his parents to leave but his dad grabbed his arm and shook his head, "Nah nah, we'll watch the movie with you down here...you both can go up later...not that we don't trust you boys but we want to keep an eye on you.".

Tom quickly seemed annoyed.

What did they need to worry about? Tom was...mostly responsible, at least enough to go to marco's alone, what was so bad about here?

But tom didn't put up a fight, he sighed and headed up to change, marco excusing himself to go up and follow to get into his own pjs. Tom was clearly upset and marco didn't want to sit here awkwardly while tom was in a bad mood, he wanted to go up and check on him to make sure the guy was alright. Seems whatever tom was upset about, well it was something marco had yet to really understand for sure.

"Tom?".

He was on the upper floor but then remembered he hadn't been up here before and didn't know which was tom's room, looking around before signalling it out through observation and knocking.

After all, he doubted anyone but tom would have a picture of him and tom on the front of his bedroom.

He knocked again and tom let out a little "Yeah?".

"Hey? Tom? You ok? I uh...I need to get changed and uh...", tom opened the door quickly marco finding the boy in a tank top and sweatpants, already changed and ready. "Oh...uh...sure...c'mon in...". He opened the door wider for marco to be let in and marco was greeted by red walls, rock posters, a tx, game system, large bed with flame print, a stereo, and so much more.

Though something was quick to catch marco's eye about it.

On a table nearby, was a cage, consisting of a little bunny rabbit inside, sniffing the bars and looking up at the teen. Marco was super quick to get up close and get a good look at the adorable thing, "Tom! You never told me you had a pet! What's their name?". Tom shrugged and leaned against the nearest wall, he was still irritated about what happened downstairs but he welcomed the change of topic, "Oh...marshmallow...he's...he's cool.".

"I've always wanted pets but never got any...star has dogs though, like...a bunch of cute puppies...so they're nice to see, but they're the closest thing I've ever had.".

"Puppies...huh...", tom said, pondering as marco wiggled his fingers at the bunny, "Can i take him out and pet him?". Tom didn't object, in fact he seemed happy to know marco was interested in his little rabbit, opening the cage for him and carefully showing marco how to hold his pet rabbit safely. "Marshmallow was basically my therapy animal when I was going through...issues...he's been my friend through it all.".

Marco softly pet the rabbit's head, taking a seat on tom's punk bed and putting the rabbit on his lap.

"Well, that's awesome tom...you seem to take great care of him!".

Tom beamed, "Thanks, he means a lot to me, so I try my best to take great care of him...he loves people...".

He watched marco with his rabbit and his face seemed to soften quite a bit in affection, before he turned his eyes away and tried to retain his cool demenor.

"Well anyways, sorry uh...about my parents...I wasn't expecting them to pull something like this, I thought it'd be more private but uh...guess they feel more comfortable uh...hanging with us for a little bit.". It was rather strange, but marco couldn't complain too much, he was in tom's house, tom's parents made the rules here, if they wanted to watch with them they could.

As long as they didn't well, make things weird it couldn't be that bad right?

"It's fine dude, I love your parents...we'll go downstairs and have a lot of fun ok? I'm just happy to get to hang out with you!".

Tom snickered, 'Yeah, yeah you're right, i'm happy to get to hang out with you too.".

Well as marco got changed, tom quickly left the room, and marco placed his rabbit back before following the boy out to go and join him downstairs. They'd get to hang out more in tom's room later when they were ready for bed. His matching jammies fit comfortably and he was careful not to slip on the stairs on his way back down the join the family sitting in the living room.

Seems tom's parents had picked out a superhero movie to watch with them, which was fine with marco, at least it wasn't something cheesy like his parents always insisted on watching when he was with them.

And tom had nachos and a bowl of popcorn ready for him, and marco looked delighted.

"You made my nachos?"

And the boy grinned back at him, holding up the plate, "Yeah of course! Wouldn't be fun without them right?".

And marco felt a ping of affection at the sight.

The movie had actually been fun, tom's parents were actually quiet outside of a few laughs and tom and marco got to talk among themselves when they weren't watching and snacking during the film. Though marco could tell tom once and awhile was glancing over at him, for one reason or another. Though that wasn't something marco focused on too much.

Tom was probably looking to see if he was having fun more then anything.

If anything, the most awkward thing was during the halfway point when they both grabbed for nachos and instead grabbed each other's cheese covered hands.

Marco didn't notice at first, as he wasn't even thinking about it, but the wiggle of tom's hand in his grasp seemed to snap something inside of him, and that immediately made his heart stop.

it only lasted for a few seconds but marco's face burned before he tugged his hand away, avoiding tom's gaze entirely as to basically avoid what just happened. He needed to relax, it was an accident and now he was getting worked up over it for no reason. Tom's parents hadn't seemed to notice and tom himself wasn't making as big of a deal out of it.

So all this was doing was making marco look weird, overreacting to what was clearly an accident.

And yet his hand never re-entered the nacho bowl again that night.

That didn't count as holding hands, it didn't, they just accidentally grabbed each other, way different. Couples held hands, friends accidentally held hands or just held them for practice, or comfort, and now he was freaking out even more then before. He took a deep breath, he needed to just finish the movie and move on, they had the rest of the night to have fun after all.

Though he was having a hard time paying attention to the rest of the movie, he didn't even seem to notice when the credits begun to roll. Not that it mattered, he'd seen this movie before, but it was telling how much the rest of the film had been a blur to him since that moment. Tom turned the movie off and nodded behind him, marco looked to see the boy's parents fast asleep.

Time to go, before they woke up.

Tom and marco quickly grabbed the food and headed upstairs, right back into the tall boy's room. Tom looked more then happy to get out of there, though marco was still distracted by the semi hand-holding they just did. Tom putting the food down and stretching, pointing to his smaller tv nearby, "You can pick out a game you like if you want? Go right ahead."

He quickly headed over to check on his rabbit as the awkward boy avoided his gaze to go and put his attention elsewhere. He needed to stop, this was supposed to be a fun night with tom and he was letting something small that seemed to not bother tom at all bother him. He should just pick a game and try and enjoy the rest of the night with tom, have a good time.

He looked under the tv, a small table under it with a cupboard.

Opening it, marco went looking through the piles of games for something to play before stumbling across something he didn't expect.

"Tom...is this a love sentence cd?".

Tom turned around like lightning, looked red in the face as he looked for an excuse, clearly not intending for marco to have found this at all. Tom looked like he was about to make an excuse but then marco's eyes lit up like the prettiest stars ever. "I didn't know you liked love sentence too!? Was this what was in the package i dropped off for you? That's so cool!".

And tom's face of embarrassment turned into one of shock.

But the blush was still very much present.

"You-you like love sentence?", he stammered, marco standing up with excitement, "Yeah! Who doesn't!? You should've told me sooner, we could've shared favorite songs and jammed out together weeks ago!". Marco's excitement seemed to entirely make him forget about earlier, but now tom was the one getting blushy at the sight of the excited teen who loved the same band as him.

And his lips formed a small smile.

"Yeah...uh...i've liked them for awhile...uh...I didn't know you liked them marco...I thought-".

"It's ok, c'mon, before we play, can we put on tunes?", he looked almost as if he was begging tom to do it and tom couldn't not do it now. Laughing and taking the cd from marco, "Ok, but let's try and not wake up my family ok? I don't need that right now.". But marco didn't mind, as long as they did it regardless, tom finding an playerand quickly putting in his cd in a Love Sentence designed player.

Whoa.

Most people didn't use cds that much but there was something nice about having them regardless.

"What's your favorite song?".

"Awesome feeling, no question", tom answered back quickly, "Yours?".

"It changes a lot, but I do like that song a lot too.".

"Cool", tom was clearly trying to play himself off as cool despite how giddy he clearly was and it was something marco couldn't help but smile and laugh at. Tom was kinda more of a dweeb then he ever imagined.

It was nice to see tom so happy about something he liked.

Marco wondered what else they had in common as far as interests, maybe he and tom were not as "opposite" as people like Brittney or Star liked to assume about them, maybe they were two peas in a pod. Honestly tom could have a lot more stuff about him marco didn't know about, and now he found he wanted to know more and more about the guy.

The song was turned on and tom was already humming and singing to himself, he already knew all the words so perfectly, he was such a geek. Since he didn't say anything marco had to guess tom rarely shared this kinda thing with anyone, and if he did share it he seemed afraid he'd be made fun of for liking it. Maybe cause he felt it ruined his cool "Bad boy" look?

Who knew tom had anxieties like this?

Marco almost wanted to reach out and hug him, but tom looked so happy right now and he was quick to start dancing to himself, marco comfortable enough to stop thinking too hard and joining him. Tom and him singing and dancing together and marco had to admit he found tom's singing voice not half bad, even though they both seemed nervous to sing in front of each other.

But tom was happy, and he felt happy.

Tom quickly got tired and feel on his bed, laughing, his laughter like music.

Marco hoped he got to see tom like this more often.

Happy and joyful and playful and full of so much life.

And Brittney wanted to claim this boy of all is in a gang of all things?

He liked bunnies, pink, boy bands, if he was in a gang he was the softest gang member ever.

Marco could tell he was staring at tom a little too much, quickly averting his eyes and tom continued to laugh. "I should've said something about love sentence before, it's just one of those things i've never been comfortable sharing about with anyone...if you looked in my closet you'd find a shrine and everything...it's a little embarrassing is all. I didn't think I'd make any friends if people knew...".

"Hey I wouldn't judge...you know me. If It makes you feel better I wear ballerina shoes around the house sometimes...", tom actually looked bemused, "Really? I didn't know that". He didn't seem hurtful or mean or anything, he actually might of been more touched marco was being so open about it. "Yeah and I also like dresses...and skirts...I-I don't wear them in public but y'know...I find them all comfortable.".

"That's cool dude, I hope someday I'll get to see them...I bet you look great".

"You think so?".

"Yeah, of course.".

Marco felt red-faced, he turned away quickly, smiling, but also not wanting tom to notice how much is words seemed to be effecting marco. He would definitely tease him if he knew and marco couldn't live that down. The music was turned off but tom still returned to the bed, taking a seat, "Hey...marco? Uh...y'know, i've never really been good with people...or being a friend...so..I'm never sure if I'm doing it right but um...thanks for uh...helping me, and just being supportive of me...uh".

Tom still seemed bad with words but the gesture was appreciated.

"Hey it's ok...I guess after dealing with whatever happened with your anger issues...it's probably hard trying to make friends again.", his words seemed to bring up some memories back for tom, the boy's smile fading and his eyes wandering to the ceiling. "I uh...I really screwed up...back then...I was just so...angry, all the time...and...It ruined everything and I just...Marco I just felt like i'd never get better.".

"But you did!".

"Yeah but at the time...I just...marco I thought...".

"Yeah?".

"I thought I wasn't cut out to have friends...or...a girlfriend...I just...I felt...alone...and that things wouldn't get better.", he sounded sad, and marco imagined tom years ago, sitting alone by himself. No hanging out with friends, staying in his room all day, never speaking to anyone, being terrified of himself and his own self harming those he cares about.

He must've been so miserable, it was so hard to imagine seeing him happy now, but that pain must've torn the boy up for so long.

"Well...I'm proud you've made it through, you're working hard and you're doing a great job...", marco said, wanting tom's smile to return back and his musical laughter.

"Well, It wouldn't have been so great if someone didn't give me a chance...you...gave me that chance...it means a lot.", that was true, tom came here probably not expecting to be given much of a chance by anyone and marco did, giving tom time to grow and learn. It was honestly by pure chance tom ended up here, that marco ended up being the student to speak to him and offer help.

It could've been star, or janna, or even jackie.

He almost liked to think of it as fate in a strange way, like thy were meant to meet and become friends.

He wondered if the same thoughts had even run through tom's own head since the day they met. If Tom ever felt like he and Marco meeting was fate and they were always meant to become friends and help each other out together. It was probably wishful thinking on his part but he couldn't help it, it gave him a rather warm feeling to think about it.

"Games?", marco said to tom, challangingly.

Tom smirked back, "Games...let's go.".

Tom was passed out on his bed, tired and belly full of snacks, marco sleeping on a makeshift mattress nearby, but wide awake on his end. Maybe it was all the sugar he had but he couldn't sleep nearly as well, his thoughts mainly focusing on what happened today at their sleepover. He didn't understand what was up with him, he got so weird today.

Getting frozen, blushing, staring at tom talk, his insides getting weird.

He just felt so...strange...and he didn't know how to explain it? Nerves maybe? He was really nervous about him embarrassing himself in front of tom after all.

Whatever it was, he was having a hard time sleeping right now.

His mind was getting too distracted and having it be so distracted made it harder for him to properly fall asleep, all he did was toss and turn and just...look at tom. Tom looked so happy, he was so peaceful. Looking at him however seemed to only make marco feel even weirder and he quickly forced himself to turn away from the boy, trying to go back to sleep and distract himself from whatever he was feeling.

He just needed to sleep, and things could go back to normal tomorrow.

"Marco?"

Marco woke up with groggy eyes, clearly he hadn't slept much last night and we was still tired. The blurry outline of tom in front of him, smiling and laughing above him and his tired body and brain, "We're making chocolate chip pancakes, the sooner you get up the sooner you can get to make some in the shape you want.". Marco took a few blinks before tom fully came into view as his usual goofy looking self, messy hair, pink streak, green eyes and everything.

Though his close proximity made marco jump, his heartbeat rapidly beating and his face red again.

"Uh...I".

Tom pulled away, ushering him to the door, "Whoops, sorry for scaring you...you ready? You aren't sick on ice cream right?".

"Uh...I...No no...I'll be right there.".

Tom nodded to him and started heading downstairs right away, marco shaking off his thoughts and hitting himself in the face to wake himself up and well...pull himself together in general. He needed to focus, otherwise he would barely get to enjoy himself with tom at all and just be thinking about stuff that didn't matter. He didn't want to ruin their sleepover by being distracted like that.

He came here to have fun, and he that's what he wanted to do from start to finish.

He quickly fixed himself up to join tom downstairs with his family, the young boy super excited to see him finally arrive and eat with him and his family, who were also in their pjs, just as excited to see marco join them. Marco felt himself calm down just a little, immediately following tom into the kitchen as his father sat at the table drinking what marco assumed to be coffee.

He gave marco a smile and a wave and pointed to the nearby kitchen where his family was working.

Chocolate chip pancakes huh?

Honestly those sounded good right about now, though marco would be sick all day from having so much sugar in these last few hours, only star could survive this much suger at a time.

Eh, he'd live, he was pretty hungry for the time being.

As soon as he walked in he could spot tom's mother pouring some batter in the shape of a rabbit, a bat, a skull, and a few dogs.

Animals and being spooky, their family in a nutshell.

Tom took the plate of pancakes that was already full over to the table to set up and marco was quick to tell his mother some cool pancake shapes she could make for them. Soon enough they came back into the dining room with a platter of pancakes that looked like hearts, bones, and music notes. Syrup and butter on the now set up table for the family.

Apply juice being poured out for everyone as they started grabbing their pancakes and chowing down on the surgery goodness. Tom's family all in good spirits and complimenting mother lucitor's cooking. Things seemed to actually be going rather well, the room easing up for marco and finally back to being as comfortable as always around these folks.

What had he even gotten so worried about anyway?

Everything was fine, they were having a good time and it as just a regular fun sleepover between best friends. Just handing out and watching movies and getting snacks and just having a good time together as friends. Friends who sang together and danced together and grabbed at each other's hands and laughed and supported each other and felt amazing around each other.

This had been so much more fun then his ones with star, but then again usually either her family drive him and her nuts or star plunders his home into chaos. He loved their sleepovers but tom's felt so...calm and fun and just...great. Something about it was different then star's in ways's marco couldn't yet explain, he just somehow knew it was different in a good way.

And he wanted more of it.

"So marco, tom's been telling us you've managed to make friends with this jackie girl recently? She sounds rather nice from what i've been hearing, i'm glad to hear you're helping tom make new friends!". Oh, right, jackie, the girl he was getting closer with and was still trying to pursue, he hadn't even been thinking of her much throughout this whole sleepover.

"Oh, well, i've known her technically since I was little, but we just now got close...and uh...yeah she's hanging out with me and tom."

"Well she sounds lovely, honestly the more friends tom makes out here the better!".

Yeah, jackie indeed had been a good friend recently, to him and tom, even star. She wasn't as close as the three of them seemed to be getting, but she had been hanging out with them more often that hanging out with her just started to feel natural for marco. He didn't seem to freak out around her as much, he still had his moments, but he was getting so comfortable around her.

"Yeah, she's great, jackie's great".

Why did he sound so awkward all of a sudden? Probably because talking about his crush with tom's parents was a little too weird for him, he didn't even talk about it much with is own parents after all.

He finished up the rest of breakfast and got himself dressed in tom's room, gathering his stuff to head back home, the fun was over and it was time to get back to his parents and sister. At least with tom being across the street, it meant they could do this kinda stuff more often. Honestly marco was really looking forward to that after how everything went.

Even though he was nervous, he still wanted more nights like this.

"Hey...", tom said, leaning against the entrance of the door, marco collecting all his things and clearly spooked by tom's sudden appearance. Tom laughed a bit before coming in for a hug, marco wrapping his hands around tom's warm body. "Thanks for coming over, it was really great hanging out with you...I hope I get to see you tomorrow and everything".

"Yeah, yeah, of course.", marco hugging him tightly, "I'll text you later tonight...ok?".

"Ok, yeah we'll text and talk more later...say hi to mariposa for me!".

They disbanded and marco started heading on his way out, hugging immediately by tom's parents and crushed under their strength. Mrs Lucitor fixing up marco's hair before he headed out the door, tom waving to him until marco got back inside his home once again, greeted by his happy parents and baby sister sitting in the family room together and with fresh cookies for the boy's return.

"Marco, hijo! How was your time over at tom's ?", his dad quickly grabbed marco's things to move them upstairs and marco felt a blush creep across his face, though he was currently chocking it up as just feeling hot for the time being. "It was...It was great...I had a really great time, and I think me and tom are even closer now, at least I want to think so".

"Well that's wonderful marco! Whenever you want to bring tom over to sleep over here, you just let us know!".

"Yeah...yeah...of course.", marco said, thinking back to last night, emotions mixed and all over the place. What happened last night to get him in such a mess right now? He took a cookie off the nearby plate set out for him, thinking back to tom's laughter and smile and how warm the guy was. Till his thoughts warded off and he took a bite of the fresh cookie in his hand.

Looking back at the creepy house across the street, and the window to tom's bedroom.

"I'll let you know".

[j-katz-blog1]

JACOB KATZMAN: ABOUT

GENERAL

first name? jacob. surname? katzman. middle name? alexander. nicknames? jake, jakey, katzman. on the more silly/ironic side: catman, catdaddy, katillac. date of birth? january 9th, 1987. age? thirty two.

APPEARANCE

height? 5′11″. build? fit ectomorph.  hair color? dark brown. hairstyle? it’s on the longish side, to his chin. he keeps it swept back, typically using product to keep it loosely in place. eye color? dark brown. face shape? diamond. race/ethnicity? ashkenazi jew, european. glasses or contact lenses? neither, he has great vision. he will, however, occasionally wear tinted glasses simply because he likes the look. distinguishing facial features? his roman-shaped nose, and protruding eyes. types of clothes? jake wears business casual. tucked in shirts with the sleeves rolled up, dress pants, and loafers. never a tie (unless, of course, an event calls for it). how do they wear their clothes? again, tucked in shirts with rolled up sleeves. additionally, he’ll leave a button or two unbuttoned--the more casual the event, the more buttons unbuttoned. he also wears a lot of blues (light and dark), grays, whites, and browns. mannerisms? he uses his hands to talk, touches his face/hair when he’s thinking/talking, and has the tendency to stare off into space.

FAMILY

father? david katzman, 70. a retired corporate lawyer/partner at a well respected/known firm in manhattan: katzman and pinkett. he now works as a legal consultant to stay busy. mother? barbara katzman, 65. former administrative assistant. became a full time housewife when jacob was born/when david’s firm became far more successful.  sister? tiffany katzman, 34. paralegal at katzman and pinkett.  relationship with each? with his father: jake is close with his dad, though it seems they have kind of a... professional relationship rather than a father-son relationship. the way his dad talks to him is more along the lines of a mentor talking to his apprentice, but jake has never had an issue with that. with his mother: jake is his mom’s BABY BOY. her only son. the light of her life. she’s very publicly proud of him and his accomplishments, and she talks him up to everyone she meets. every time he visits, she kisses him, pinches his cheeks, and gives him hugs. there is no denying that jake is close with his mother, even though her overly-affectionate attitude towards him feels like a bit much to him at times. he calls her at least twice a week, and she is his main connection to everything going on at home. with his sister: jake and tiffany do not get along. when jake was first brought home from the hospital, the first thing tiffany had to say was ‘take it back’. growing up, they were always tormenting each other, fighting, and making mean comments about one another. no matter what their mother did to encourage getting along, nothing ever seemed to stick. even now as adults, they’re very immaturely hateful towards one another. through it all, however, they still technically love each other. 

PERSONALITY 

what words/phrases do they overuse? jake says ‘oh?’ and ‘i don’t care’ often. are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic.  are they introverted or extroverted? somewhere in the middle. an ambivert.  what bad habits do they have? being judgmental, imposing his beliefs on others, talking over people. what makes them laugh out loud? well-established inside jokes. how do they display affection? lots of touching (whether it’s romantic, like touching someone’s thigh/lower back/cheek. or platonic, like touching someone’s shoulder/arm.), smiling, joking around.  how do they want to be seen by others? successful and capable. how competitive are they? extremely. he will make a competition out of anything. do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? mostly snap. he won’t think critically unless he’s having an in depth discussion, or when he’s called upon to. how do they react to praise? rather... smugly. like he knew he did a good job. how do they react to criticism? typically defensive. when it’s from someone he views as below him, he’ll get angry before dismissing it entirely. if it’s from someone he views as equal/above him, he’ll still show signs of being defensive before deciding to do better (usually for petty reasons).  what is their greatest fear? settling.  what is their philosophy of life? that there is always something to fight for. when was the last time they cried? jake doesn’t cry a lot. in fact, it can seem like he’s a robot with no emotions more often than not. but the last time he cried was when he came to the realization that he and odessa weren’t on the same life path, and that the only resolution at the time was saying goodbye. what are their political views? he is a registered democrat, leaning towards the more liberal side of the spectrum. he’s pro-choice, anti-gun, and a firm believer in taxing corporations/the one percent. he does not get along with a good chunk of conservatives.  what are their pet peeves? people who aren’t registered to vote/don’t care to change that. slow walkers/talkers. loud eaters. smacking of gum. people who wait around to be told what to do instead of taking initiative.

PAST AND FUTURE

what was your character like as a baby? as a child? as a baby, jake was very well behaved and quite happy. he giggled a lot, smiled a lot, and hardly ever cried. everyone who ever took care of him said he was the easiest baby to tend to. as a child, he was super argumentative and too smart for his own good. example: he was the one kid who told all the kids who celebrated christmas that santa claus wasn’t real. he wasn’t afraid to tell other kids at his school that they were, in fact, stupid. on top of all that, he had a very leader-like essence about him. the kids in his grade followed him like ducks in a row.  did they grow up rich or poor? his family is part of the upper-middle class--which mainly had to do with the fact that his parents became parents are a relatively ‘later’ age when their careers were firmly established. so because of that, jacob’s childhood teetered on the wealthier side of things. he went to private schools, after all.  did they grow up nurtured or neglected? very, very nurtured.  what was their first kiss like? horrible. it was with a girl a year older than him. tons of rumors surrounded her being super experienced, but after jake kissed her--he had a sense that she had no clue what she was doing, just like him. when he brought that up to her, he worded things in a way that was rude, and so she slapped him. what are their ambitions? right now, his long term goal is to become the campaign manager of a presidential campaign.  what advice would they give their younger self? ‘sometimes people don’t need to be told how bad they are at something.’ what was their childhood ambition? his long term goal growing up was to get into an ivy league school. did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no, but when he was really young--he did try. simply because he thought it was something he had to do. when he realized it was something that wasn’t required, he moved on. when was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? circling back to his relationship with odessa--the last time jake was crushed with disappointment was when she drew the line for herself, and decided she didn’t want to be pushed the way jake was pushing her. it was a lot of frustration early on. the disappointment didn’t arrive until the dust began to settle.

LOVE

do they believe in love at first sight? no. but at times, he wished that he had the kind of light-hearted personality that allowed for beliefs like that. are they in a relationship? it’s complicated. how do they behave in a relationship? jake is super affectionate with his partners. hand holding. an arm around their waist. pda. he’ll also send them flowers, and call them when he’s away from them. he’s a very relationship-oriented person if the person he’s with feels right to him. if not? he’s alarmingly distant and unaffectionate. has your character ever been in love? it’s hard to say, he’s not super in tune with his emotions like that--but he knows for sure that if anything, he’s been close. have they ever been heartbroken? yes.

WORK / EDUCATION / HOBBIES

what is their current job? a campaign field director.  what do they think of their current job? he enjoys it. he likes the impact he’s making, and the exciting ‘up in the air’ feeling of it all. but he knows he’d like to be doing more within the campaign, that he’s capable of doing more. what are some of their past jobs? a server at a restaurant to a variety of internships, to a political analyst, to his current position.   educational background? he went to private school for grades k-12. from there, he went on to study at harvard where he graduated with honors in political science. do they have a natural talent for something? jake is scary good at written tests of any kind. what are their hobbies? he reads a lot of books and watches a lot of movies. he’s a little bit of a movie buff. he also really enjoys beer on a level that’s lowkey snobbish.  do they play a sport? are they any good? he was on his middle school’s AND high school’s respective swim teams. he never took it super seriously, but he was pretty good at it. during the off season for swimming, he did cross country. he enjoyed the latter thoroughly. 

DAILY LIFE

what are their eating habits? he eats very healthily, sticks to a somewhat strict diet that compliments his workout routine. he does, however, have a scary fast metabolism and can honestly get away with eating absolute garbage all while staying thin. what is their home like? as it currently stands, jake has two homes. his ‘main’ home in brooklyn, and his temporary home in richmond. both are extremely tidy. he’s always been a super clean person. his home in brooklyn reflects his personality a bit more than his richmond residence--as it is decorated with art, and modern furniture, whereas the richmond home is barren and cold, reminding him of just how temporary it is. with all of that in mind, the richmond residence has a bit more of a ‘lived in’ quality to it, since it’s currently the home he spends his nights at. the brooklyn home instead feels a bit staged, like it’s on the market and furnished only to look good to potential buyers simply because he’s not there to give it the feeling that someone lives there. are they a minimalist or a clutter hoarder? a minimalist. he’s always prepared to move.  what do they first do on a weekday morning? first thing’s first, he’ll make coffee. second, he’ll go for a jog. after that, he’ll shower, eat breakfast, and then leave for work.  what do they do on a sunday afternoon? sunday is his personal office day, so he spends most of the day knocking out stuff he needs to complete for the week. if he doesn’t have anything he needs to finish, though, he dedicated the day to relaxing/spending time with his loved ones. what do they do on a friday night? it depends on the friday in question. sometimes he’ll hit the gym. other times he’ll go on a date or get drunk with friends. what is their soda of choice? in all honesty? jake doesn’t drink soda, and honestly never has cared for it much in adulthood. when he was younger, though, he was partial to grape. what is their alcoholic drink of choice? beer. he likes to drink from local breweries. 

[mefendiapet1986-blog]

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[thenichibro]

Spring 2018 Anime First Impressions

Two weeks into the season - basically on schedule by my standards! This season, as always, has ups and downs as well as popular shows I’m not watching (Megalobox) and shows I immediately regret starting (Devils Line). As a further point, I don’t do impressions of sequels, and in this case I’m including Steins;Gate 0 as a sequel because it is so based on the events of the main show. Regardless, here’s what I’m watching with MAL links and original shows marked:

Legend of the Galactic Heroes - Die Neue These (MAL) Look, I'm not going to immediately say go watch the original LOGH, but I'm kidding that's exactly what I'm going to say. LOGH is a masterpiece in every sense of the word. My issue with this series is not that they will not represent the characters badly, but that 110 episodes shoved into 12 episodes and three movies is simply not enough. LOGH has a scale, a grandeur, a weight that is conveyed as you invest yourself into it for hours on end, from bombastic space battles and the minutiae of day-to-day politics. You need both scales, the imperial and the individual, to really experience LOGH, and I feel like 12 episodes isn't enough time to have both. The LOGH remake looks and sounds fine (though with way too much CG and a bit of same-facing with Reinhard and Kircheis), but I am incredibly nervous about the pacing. This is a first impression, and if Production I.G. pulls this off it will be a classic reimagined for a modern audience that deserves it. But I simply don't think that's going to happen. I'm hopeful, but apprehensive. And again, watch the original. It is pure class.

Persona 5 the Animation (MAL) Play the game first. Please.

Devils Line (MAL) A world where vampires exist under the guise of normal people and some lose control and kill under cover of night. Basically Tokyo Ghoul with less of a vampire "society" and more just individual threats, with more of a sexual twist. Tsukasa is our helpless college heroine, adrift as she finishes school, when she finds out the guy who likes her is a serial murderer who wants blood! So wacky! She's saved by Anzai, a calm, collected member of the agency tasked with dealing with vampires, before unintentionally revealing himself a vampire. Yet we are expected to just accept Anzai forcing himself on Tsukasa because he's the savior? Right. Background sound design isn't bad, art/animation are bland and at times awkward. Devils Line is trying real hard to be a new Tokyo Ghoul, but now with more sexual undertones for whatever reason. Pass.

3D Kanojo: Real Girl (MAL) Ah, otaku love. At least it can't be worse than Saekano, right? That'd be a serious challenge. 3D Kanojo follows Tsutsui, an otaku that suffers the typical ostracization of anime, when he meets Iroha, a blunt girl who for once doesn't ostracize him. The first episode has plenty of the classics - falling into a pool, talking about "3D women" being out of his league, heroics when he knows he can't win. Everything you'd expect. By the end of the episode, things progressed a helluva lot more than I expected, in many ways. It seems thus far that the otaku thing is the impetus for Tsutsui's low opinion of himself, rather than anime being the point of the show. More introspective than I would otherwise think, I think 3D Kanojo holds a lot of slight surprises. It's interesting, for sure, and I hope it continues that way.

Tachibanakan Triangle (MAL) One of two short anime I'm watching this season, Tachibanakan follows a girl who moves into a girls apartment complex and gets more yuri than she bargained for.  We've got the fang-sporting short one, the quiet one, the onee-san, the blonde foreigner, you name it. I don't expect a lot of character development or anything similar, but three and a half minutes of yuri sounds just fine to me.

Uma Musume (MAL) First off, props to the show for making the horse girls' names just as stupid as those of real racehorses. I mean, I know it’s because the girls are named after real racehorses, but still. Uma Musume involves a world where horseracing is hugely popular, only the racers are anthropomorphic horse girls. Our main girl is Special Week, a newbie transferring to a popular racing school in Tokyo. She's your typical genki type - eager, energetic, bright-eyed. Enthralled by one of the top girls Silence Suzuka, she aims to become one of the top horse girls in Japan. Oh, and the top horse girls perform as idols after each race. This sure is a mobile game adaptation, god damn. P.A. Works' art looks solid as always (props to the flowing tail animation); the OP and ED are pretty standard idolish stuff. I prefer the ED. Anthropomorphic racing is fine, yet for some reason the idol part is what makes it weird for me. This show is strange, but if it's not much more than cute horse girls doing cute horse girl things, I'll keep paying attention.

SAO Alternative: Gun Gale Online (MAL) I hate SAO. I have a laundry list of reasons that I despised both seasons of SAO. The reason I'm giving GGO a chance is because the main charater is a girl playing a cute chibi girl in-game and she just wants to make friends. Hopefully, that will avoid the terrible pitfall that was anything relating to Kirito. GGO starts right in the action, with a topical Battle Royale mode putting our pink girl and her partner right into the action. The tactics are good and help set up the basic premises of the gametype, if that necessitated a bit too much monologuing by M, the partner. Also, plenty of pouts. Always a bonus. As always the invincibility of the protag is annoying, but I don't really expect breakthrough plot changes from an SAO spinoff. I mean, SAO S1 was good for the first 10 episodes too. Keep this cute girl and not-harem, focus on connecting with others through video games rather than shanking perverts in a parking lot, and it'll be solid.

Hinamatsuri (MAL) A super-powered middle-schooler falls into the life of a nicer-than-normal yakuza. Nitta is the yakuza, with a penchant for fancy porcelain. Hina is the middle-schooler, your typical otherworldly killing machine set into an unfamiliar world. Hinamatsuri puts a lot of good spins on the taking-care-of-a-supernatural-girl trope, with the main character being a yakuza rather than an "average high schooler." Furthermore, there are some nice father-daughter vibes going between the two, though it's clear Hina maintains the upper hand. Won over by Nitta's refusal to use her as just a tool, their life together begins. The comedy is your standard boke/tsukkomi, but the lightning-quick delivery of the lines had me cracking up regardless. Hinamatsuri looks like it could go darker any second, but if it doesn't I'm perfectly content to stay around.

Comic Girls (MAL) Probably the most classic cute girls doing cute things show this season, Comic Girls follows a group of mangaka girls living in a dorm together. Moeta is the worrywart crybaby, Koyume's the genki blonde, Ruki is the less-than-secret pervert, and Tsubasa is the tomboy. There's plenty of nice compliments between the girls' personalities, and Koyume and Moeta seem like a great fit as the newbies in the group. Furthermore, their personalities being informed by the manga they draw allows for a nice exploration of manga cliches through their interactions. This looks to be more on the character-driven side than a deep dive into the logistics of manga production, but that's just fine. Animation and sound aren't really anything special, but they're by no means bad. As a slice-of-life fan I'm all in, even if this show doesn't turn out to be anything super unique.

[ORIG] Tada-kun wa Koi wo Shinai (MAL) Tada-kun follows, well, Tada-kun - a student and photographer who runs into Teresa, a rich European while taking pictures. Tada-kun, following the show's title "Tada Doesn't Fall in Love," has a calm, somewhat stoic demeanor, while Teresa is your bright, beautiful girl finally in the Japan she'd only seen on TV. After meeting multiple times as Teresa wanders lost, Tada helps her out of the rain before she finds her hotel, right next to his family's coffee shop. And then, of course, she transfers into his school along with her bodyguard, the fiery-tempered Alec. The art is crisp and animated well, and both the OP and ED have their charms. I personally like romance focused tightly on a single pair (Tsuki ga Kirei and Ore Monogatari are two stellar examples), and I hope this delivers. With a single couple development becomes the key, but if this show keeps it up - increasing interactions leading to discovered feelings, all starting from a photo (sounds a bit like Just Because, don't you think?), this will be a emotionally engaging experience.

Fumikiri Jikan (MAL) The other short show I'm watching, Fumikiri Jikan is about conversations while waiting for the train to pass. The first episode ran the gamut all the way from peppy slice of life to romantic character drama. Being so tightly focused on conversations and with limited time, a show like this needs to nail the dialogue to set up the characters each episode. I felt like I almost watched a movie in three minutes this time, and that's a good thing. The main sticking point is that with individual stories each time, quality can vary wildly. This show is a bit strange but equally interesting, but it will certainly depend on the story being told.

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii (MAL) Ah, otaku love. It can't be worse than Saekano, right? That would be a serious challenge. Wotaku ni Koi puts a spin on the genre by situating the main characters as adults who met each other in middle school and just now reconnected. The main cast of four and especially the banner couple Hirotaka and Narumi are uniquely quirky and their personalities gel so well with each other. Despite the long gap in meeting each other I feel the chemistry immediately between the two, and as episode one ends with their relationship actually beginning I'm all in. Not only does Wotakoi change things up by having the main characters as adults but it also gets past all the roundabout bullshit that often bogs down high-school romances. Furthermore, the true enthusiasm with which Hirotaka and Narumi can nerd out about what they like is refreshing, kind of like Animegataris before it became the Matrix. Combine that with a crisp art style and great musical themes, and maybe Wotakoi can provide the grounded otaku love story we've been waiting for. Oh, and fuck the Saekano shout-out. Not that I'm going to let that cloud my thoughts on Wotakoi - I just really, really don't like Saekano.

Golden Kamuy (MAL) This season's "a popular manga is finally getting an anime" show, Golden Kamuy is the story of a soldier and an Ainu girl suriving in the north of Japan in the Ruso-Japanese War era just after the turn of the 20th century. The pair aims to find a hidden treasure, stolen from the Ainu and stashed by a criminal somewhere, with the location hidden on tattoos of various escaped prisoners. I enjoy historical shows, and Kamuy is great in that it is more than just feudal Japan or something similar - the snowy, late-Meiji Hokkaido setting is undoubtedly unique. Sugimoto, the soldier, has earned his nickname "Immortal" due to his war exploits, and his personality shows it - confident in his skills yet cautious of threats. Asirpa, the Ainu, is the resourceful, collected partner Sugimoto needs in the wilds of Hokkaido, and shares Sugimotos motivations, having lost her father to the criminal who hid the treasure. The art is clean, and while the main characters look good there needs to be mention of the awful-looking CG of the two bears and the wolf that make appearances in the first episode. It just looks horrible. The dynamic between Sugimoto and Asirpa is great - the contrast between violence and peace especially - and I look forward to see where they're going. I only wish the overall tone was more consistent - the first episode is a great solemn look at the task in front of them, while the second episode inserts a whole lot of "comedic" moments that seem out of place with the action and Sugimoto himself. Regardless, quick shout-out to Man With a Mission for the OP - one of my favorite bands and this song is no exception.

[biofunmy]

Netflix’s “Cheer” Shows How Transformative Cheerleading Can Be

Courtesy Of Netflix / Courtesy of Netflix

The American cheerleader is an exhausted cliché. She’s the popular girl, the tan girl, the blonde girl, the skinny girl, and almost always the white girl. She’s a queen bee. She’s straight, and her boyfriend plays football. She’s not particularly smart. She generally has money. And her status as a cheerleader is mostly for show: an opportunity to wear a costume that announces, over and over again, her place in the social hierarchy. She’s Hayden Panettiere in Heroes, Kirsten Dunst in Bring It On, Minka Kelly in Friday Night Lights, Ali Larter in Varsity Blues, Kristy Swanson in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, the majority of the female cast of Saved by the Bell and Glee, and any number of supporting characters across film and television over the last 50 years.

Like all stereotypes, that image of the American cheerleader is periodically challenged (Gabrielle Union’s squad in Bring It On) and subverted (But I’m a Cheerleader) or turned into the backdrop for a noir-ish murder mystery (Dare Me). But the cliché has proven stubbornly resilient. When people find out I spent my teen years as a cheerleader, they sometimes react with a disbelief I find quietly insulting: You, a cheerleader? I think they mean it as a compliment. But all kinds of people become cheerleaders, for all kinds of reasons and all kinds of rewards. If you don’t get that, you haven’t been paying attention — or watching Cheer.

The new six-part documentary, now airing on Netflix, follows a super-elite squad of cheerleaders at Navarro College, a junior college in Texas, as they train to defend their title at the national cheerleading championship in Daytona Beach, Florida. And the first thing that drew me to Cheer was the familiar, simple promise of watching elite cheerleaders on their journey from “very, very good” to “the best.”

Every cheerleader of a certain age knows that the best cheerleading movie is not Bring It On, but the VHS of the national competitions you taped off ESPN and watched on repeat: at squad sleepovers, but also by yourself, dreaming of a basket toss that went that high and hit that crisp. What mattered about those high school and college cheerleaders I watched competing wasn’t that they were cool, or hot, or rich. They were just good. When they were disarticulated from their social setting, I saw in them what I saw, or at least hoped to see, in myself: discipline, skill, and strength. Their beauty wasn’t in their faces (which I couldn’t even see, since this was pre-HD, and the camera essentially did not move) but their synchronization, which felt at once pulsing and alive and mechanically precise.

And there were boys on those squads! No boys would dare cheer at my school, for all the old-fashioned reasons you would expect. Watching a really good all-girls squad is hypnotic, but watching a co-ed one feels like a revelation, like the full expression of the sport: This is what cheerleading could look like, like firecrackers exploding one after the other.

Cheerleading, like any sport, can beat you up and string you along with the promise of glory, but it can also be deeply transformative.

If the “plot” of Cheer — who will make it “on mat” (the performing team) at the championships? — were all it had to offer, I’m sure the series would still find its audience. But Cheer does something much more expansive and even more compelling. It shows the darkness and levity, the devotion to individual and group perfection, that has accompanied the evolution of cheerleading from glee clubs with pom-poms to a fiercely competitive sport.

To do that, the series opens a door to the individual lives of the cheerleaders on the Navarro squad — their pasts, their families, and the various pressures that surround them on and off the mat, largely from adults with seemingly little mind to their long term health or livelihoods. Gabi became a cheerleading celebrity as a tween but now has to deal with her family’s attempts to monetize her career; Jerry is desperate to make it to mat but is also still grieving the death of his mother; Morgan, effectively parentless, is so desperate to please her coach that she ignores her injuries.

Cheer also gives viewers a front-row seat to the process of perfection. Over the course of dozens of practices, you see the team’s members, in the peak athletic condition of their life, left panting on the ground. It shows concussion after concussion — ice baths and bruised ribs and broken elbows. The athletic trainers are characters as much as the cheerleaders. You can hear the sound of every single basket toss, bone against bone, flesh against the mat. The literal impact of cheer becomes a visceral, shared experience.

“When you give yourself over — not just to a sport, but a group of people — then if and when it works out, the joy you must feel must be something incredible,” Greg Whiteley, one of the directors of Cheer, told me. “You could draw on a Venn diagram: the higher the pain, the higher the workload, the more trust and the more of you that is required, the greater the joy.”

What popular depictions of cheerleading have always, at least until recently, seemed to miss is that cheerleading, like any sport, can beat you up and string you along with the promise of glory, but it can also be deeply transformative. It can change lives the same way that soccer, or football, or basketball, or even math team can change lives. Cheerleaders have known this for decades. Cheer just makes it impossible for other people to deny.

Netflix

La’Darius (in front) and the men of the Navarro College squad during practice in Episode 1 of Cheer.

My mom didn’t want me to be a cheerleader. But in my small North Idaho town, I saw no other choice. In junior high, everyone I knew did some sport, and for the girls, the only available options were volleyball and basketball (I was hopeless at both) — and cheerleading. I’d taken dance for years, but never in a way I’d call serious. My major selling point, as cheer material, was my left front hurdler. But I was a middle-of-the-road prospect: a solid base, a fine jumper, an OK dancer, as were most others on the squad.

Back then, at least where I was, there was no such thing as “club” cheerleading — the private teams, run out of tumbling gyms, that now serve as the true training grounds for competitive cheer. But our squad tried the best we could to professionalize ourselves: by watching videos, by reverse engineering new stunts. We ran “private practices” in the cafeteria with no supervision. We made it up, essentially, as we went. We weren’t good, but we were a squad, and being part of it made me feel like I had found some sort of footing amid the constantly shifting social ground of junior high. Sure, it would’ve been nice if there was a way to find that in an activity that didn’t involve wearing a short skirt for seemingly no reason. But we don’t always get to decide what options are available to us.

I don’t have clear memories of cheering at games, but I do remember those practices. And that’s what Cheer communicates so strongly: Cheerleading may have developed as part of the infrastructure of men’s sporting events, a literally sidelined form of (feminine) spectacle, but it has gradually disarticulated itself from that relationship. Now, at least in the competitive world, cheerleaders and their feats of athleticism are their own main event. The team they’re ostensibly cheering for becomes little more than a name on the uniform.

The thing that excited me most about the prospect of high school cheerleading was that there was just so much more of it. More practices, more cheers, more dances, more stunts, more games, more traveling, more cheerleaders on the squad — and much higher expectations. The best girl on the squad had a toe-touch jump so effortless it felt like she was floating. She and the other tumblers would fling themselves down the field every time the football team scored a touchdown, and I’d beam with pride.

This girl, whom I’ll call Katie, had grown up as a star at the local gymnastics gym, left it behind with puberty, and then returned to the closest thing to gymnastics that didn’t involve that gym and the slimy coach who ran it. Like Lexi, the peroxide-blonde, preternaturally talented tumbler in Cheer — who dropped out of high school, got into violent fights, and at one point ended up in jail — Katie hung out with what parents like to call “a bad crowd.” She had an older boyfriend; she snuck cigarettes; she was bored by school and struggled to keep her GPA high enough to stay on the squad. She also did all of our hair and makeup before games with the skill of a trained cosmetologist. Sometimes, we’d worry that she’d forgotten we had a game — this was before cellphones, when it was difficult to track people down — but she’d always show up, just in time, ready to fly into the air.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder why Katie never quit: Cheerleading was so at odds with the rest of her posture toward the world and the sort of people she surrounded herself with. But I think it gave her something she wasn’t getting anywhere else, something she wanted to return to again and again, even if it was simply that feeling of performing mastery. Katie wasn’t from a rich family. She wasn’t popular. She was just the best.

My family was upper-middle-class, and another girl on the squad lived in a gorgeous pop-up mansion. But the vast majority of cheerleaders I knew came from modest homes, with modest means. Their parents were teachers and mill workers and cops. We put on a few car washes to help pay for our Kaepa cheer shoes and the cost of cheer camp in the summer, but the school paid for everything else.

Contemporary cheerleading is not cheap, and like almost all other American sports, it has become increasingly privatized, complete with gym memberships, travel teams, and private coaches. Access is still severely curtailed by class. But also like every other American sport, the people who actually do it, whether on their school squads or with a program at Navarro, are far more diverse in race and background than popular representations suggest.

“There’s the uniforms, which are insanely expensive — even just the cost of those bows are ridiculous,” Whiteley told me. “But if you have a unique skill, the gym will find a way to get you on a team and keep you on a team. And those types of people really run the gamut.” That’s part of how students like Jerry, whose mother died of cancer when he was in high school, and La’Darius, who was placed in foster care with his four brothers, made it onto the Navarro team with more solidly middle-class kids like Gabi and Allie. Lexi says at one point that she’s never paid a cent in tuition over 13 years of cheerleading — the gyms just wanted her tumbling skills.

At the semi-competitive high school level, cheerleading was a way to center myself in the flow of my life. It provided schedule and rigor; it forced me to collaborate with others, to push myself, to be on, to show up — not just because I was supposed to, but because if I didn’t, others would suffer. Of course, there’s a point at which practice and conditioning and scheduling can blot out all other components of the highly scheduled teen’s life. But for many of the cheerleaders at Navarro, cheer provides order where there was none, a path through what was a disorienting blank space.

Netflix

Lexi in Episode 4 of Cheer.

The Navarro squad venerates their coach, Monica Aldama, in part because she’s tough, but also because she’s predictable and reliable. Her rules don’t change. She sets her expectations high, and the members of her squad find themselves rising to meet them. They dedicate themselves to her, but also to each other: No stunt can work without someone to throw in the air, someone to hold you, someone to catch you if you fall. The cult of individuality is so strong in America that that kind of collective trust, of legitimate and unwavering support, can be so alien that it feels corny to describe. But it’s not corny. It’s just actual community.

It’s pretty easy to imagine a version of Cheer where that isn’t the case: where the competition to make it to mat tears the team apart, where confessional interviews turn into fodder for future catfights. But when Whiteley first approached Navarro to discuss the idea of following the squad on the road to nationals, the filmmakers were very clear that they had no interest in making a reality TV–style program.

“Navarro was wary in the normal ways, like, ‘Who are you guys? Are you going to exploit us? Are you going to manufacture drama that’s not really there?’” Whiteley told me. “But after the president and Monica became familiar with our past work on Last Chance U, those concerns went away.”

The cult of individuality is so strong in America that that kind of collective trust, of legitimate and unwavering support, can be so alien that it feels corny to describe.

The style of Last Chance U — which, over the course of four seasons, has tracked football players with tremendous talent at junior colleges in Mississippi and Kansas, trying to get their grades up high enough to transfer to NCAA programs — is about as close to naturalistic as you can get with a contemporary documentary.

“We told the administration we’re not at all interested in anyone behaving in a dramatic way for the cameras,” Whiteley explained. “All of that stuff will be edited out. So please just allow us to be in positions that give us the highest chance of catching stuff as it really happens.”

That meant access to dorm rooms (with student permission), access to practices, and access to families (who were uniformly thrilled to participate). When and if someone did start to perform or mug for the camera, the crew would simply stop filming. “You just wait it out,” Whiteley said, “and pretty soon people understand.” Once people realize that the things they say won’t be used to manufacture drama, they begin to trust the crew, and their interactions with the camera, especially one-on-one, become warmer and more dimensional.

“They never truly forget that you’re around,” Whiteley said. “They’re just allowing you to be part of the new normal.”

Halfway through Cheer, Lexi realizes that someone from her past has posted compromising photos of her, taken several years before, on Twitter. It visibly shakes her and begins to affect her performance in practice. At first she’s hesitant to tell Monica, who has standards about the way cheerleaders should represent themselves online. But when Lexi admits that’s something wrong, Monica takes her to meet with the chief of police — a massive Navarro Cheer fan — who helps come up with a strategy to get the photos, which were technically child pornography, taken down.

In those scenes, you see Lexi’s otherwise unflappable demeanor shaken — and a complication to Monica’s role as a tough, uncompromising coach. Lexi agreed to have the entire meeting filmed because she wanted other people in her situation to know they have options. And that’s what Cheer provides: evidence, over and over again, of options. Not every option, not even close. But your life doesn’t have to be what others have decided it will be.

“She wants something different for her life,” Lexi’s grandmother says in one episode. “She doesn’t want what she had before.”

Cheer never suggests that cheerleading is a cheat code for the American dream — that excelling at it will lead you to happiness. And the cheerleaders at Navarro aren’t gunning for spots on the Dallas Cowgirls; that’s a wholly different mode of performance. Some of them will end up working as coaches, but most of them will probably leave cheerleading behind, and simply graduate: with an associate’s degree, with no student debt, and with choices. That’s not a fantasy. But it’s also something that’s not available to everyone.

Netflix

Gabi gets a hug in Episode 4 of Cheer.

There’s a scene at the end of Cheer, when Lexi, along with the rest of the squad, runs into the Atlantic Ocean, completely overwhelmed with what she and her teammates have accomplished. The camera is set up in the water, so it’s able to track her closely. And the look on her face is one of unmediated wonder.

No one has their phones; there’s no posing. The cameras have been with them so long at that point that it doesn’t even feel like they’re performing. But every single one of them seems astonished with themselves. And that’s the sort of feeling that never leaves you. You’ll never find it, at least not precisely, again. But it can be a reminder, and a glorious refrain, of what’s possible.

My squad was never in the same universe as Navarro. Katie never tumbled across the stage in Daytona Beach, even though I feel certain, with the right training, that she could have. There’s no trace of her on Facebook, and she had no close friends, at least not in our high school class, who could help me find her. But I can still remember the perfect spread of Katie’s toe touch, and what it felt like to catch her from a throw. I can see her concentrated expression as she applied glitter to my face and French-braided my hair.

I hope that cheerleading gave Katie some semblance of the grounding and structure it gave me, and I hope she remembers those years we spent throwing and catching one another. I’ve never not worried about her, the same way I worry about Lexi at the end of the series: kicked off the squad for getting caught in a car with people who had drugs, back home in Houston and channeling her energy into the saddest rave I’ve ever seen.

But the other day I checked Lexi’s Instagram and felt an immense sense of relief. She’d posted a picture of herself back at the Navarro gym, stunting with the team. Her caption: “Honey, I’m home.” ●

Sahred From Source link Sports

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