#Northern Attitude is Nancy Wheeler coded and I’ll die on that hill

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

If you guys thought I was done talking about Nancy Wheeler and Northern Attitude, you’d be WRONG

I don’t usually like,,, analyze music or anything on here, but my brain is just ahdkskjdks

Like, this song screams Nancy, but I think especially it fits post Vecna’s defeat

Breathing in

Breathing out

How you been?

Settled down?

Finally being able to calm down, learning to catch her breath again, settling down into some semblance of normalcy

You feeling right?

You feeling proud?

Struggling with emotions after. Is she proud? Does it feel right? They lost people. People were hurt. Everyone is going home with trauma at the end of the day. Maybe things don’t truly feel right, and it’s such a struggle to make this feel like a victory

How're your kids?

Where are they now?

The kids don’t need her as much anymore. They’re growing up, using each other as a shoulder to lean on instead of the teens. It’s hard to keep track of them anymore, like they’re drifting back to the distance before Will was taken. But she still worries, because they were all too young and will all carry what happened with them for the rest of their lives

You build a boat

You build a life

You lose your friends

You lose your wife

Nancy has always been Miss Independent. She builds that damn boat herself to keep from sinking into despair, builds her life back around her. She graduates, gets ready for Emerson. But the loss she’s felt sticks with her. Eddie. Fred. Barb. (You lose your wife, anyone?) Even the friends still around are busy rebuilding their own lives. She feels alone

You settle in

To routine

Where are you?

What does it mean?

Again we go back to rebuilding her life and going back to normal. Life becomes a routine, but she feels lost. What does it mean? In the grand scheme of things? It’s hard to make something so silly as college feel important anymore after the things she’s been through, the things she has survived.

If I get too close

And I'm not how you hoped

Forgive my northern attitude

Oh, I was raised out in the cold

After all of the loss, after having to be independent for so long, Nancy doesn’t know how to let anyone in. She’s built up these barriers and she’s so scared for anyone to break them down, to see the truly terrified, lost girl underneath. They may not like this defensive, broken side of her. She doesn’t know how to express emotion, she’s afraid of what will happen if the floodgates open.

I think being raised out in the cold is such a wonderful metaphor in two ways here. For one, it could allude to fighting the Upside-Down, living in this cold, survivalist personality to get herself and everyone else through. There’s no time for emotions when you’re saving the world from alternate dimensions.

But I think it goes deeper too, back to her home life. Nancy was raised by parents that fell out of love, if they were ever in love in the first place. She’s never had a healthy example of how to express things, has watched her father be an emotionless, uncaring man, has watched her mother push everything down for the sake of a marriage lost. It’s truly not a wonder that Nancy and Mike both are so bad with feelings.

If the sun don't rise

'Til the summertime

Forgive my northern attitude

Oh, I was raised on little light

This is another iteration of what I just said, but I’m thinking about the summertime line. The summer when Nancy met Robin Buckley, the sun personified. Thinking about how Robin isn’t afraid to show how she’s feeling, is rather open with her heart. Nancy sees this, and at first she pushes Robin away—but then spring break happens, and Nancy finds herself closer than ever with Robin. Feels the walls crumbling. Feels the floodgates beginning to open. Robin is open. Robin makes Nancy want to be open, and she’s scared of that. Robin is summertime.

You bought some shit

You search online

You're getting lost

You're getting high

Again losing herself in the routine of life. Buying clothes and dorm supplies for school. Looking over the school website, searching for jobs, making sure she’s registered. She’s just so lost. Maybe she does find some solace with her friends, gets a little high with Steve and Robin, maybe share a blunt in Eddie’s honor.

All alone

Late in life

Scared to live

Scared to die

No one tells you how lonely it is to be a hero. In Hawkins, people know there was an earthquake, but they don’t truly understand the ghosts in Nancy’s eyes. Emerson is worse. No one knows, everyone is blissfully unaware of the shadows that cling to Nancy Wheeler, the things she’s done, the people she’s bled for. It’s a lonely existence. And it follows her, fills her with fear. Maybe she could settle into normalcy again. Let the Upside-Down fade to distant memory—but she can’t help but fear that the second that she lets her guard down, something new will happen. She’s scared to live. Scared to lose herself or her loved ones.

You settle down

You're feeling lost

Getting stoned

Then kicking rocks

(Three, four)

People notice, of course. Classmates notice the way Nancy jumps every time the lights in the old buildings flicker. Her roommate was nearly scared out of her mind when Nancy awoke screaming and inconsolable in the night. They see the scars, physical and mental. Rumors spread about what may have happened. It feels like getting stoned—they can never truly know.

We come back to the main chorus, maybe Nancy returns home for the winter. It’s wonderful to see her family again, but god if she isn’t more excited to see her friends. Steve and her share a soft embrace, but it’s Robin that makes her heart quicken. The sun shines from Robin’s smile, fills her life with light that she’s sorely been missing, warming her from the inside out. It’s midwinter, but summertime is staring her in the face, and despite her fears, Nancy knows. She knows Robin is someone she can let in. Someone who will get too close. Someone that will forgive her Northern Attitude, because she too was raised out in the cold.