#No sex scenes with ow/om

[gayspock]

okay girlies trek movie marathon ahead go go go we're starting with the final frontier

so to set the mood its 10am and i have hot cocoa (fancy one i got for chrismas + marshmallows (vegan ones i got for chrismas)

goodness fucking gracious they really put the budget into this one again didnt they. i mean i know they do for the trek movies in general in comparison to the shows but fuck me this feels like a step up even from tvh

okay girlie pops lets do therapy in the desert . practice mindfulness with me really think about the sand on your feet ow hot hot hot

i wish someone would do this to me to be honest i take the piss but cant some beardy vulcan cunt come up to me and chat about starships and the whatnot

ISNT THIS SYBOK BTW. spocks first retroactively added sibling. btw i wont share how much i hate that fucking choice in so many ways and how theyve done it fucking twice n- sorry seeing red breathe deep. hesgot a good presence t-

AHRHGHGH OGUGHHFHFUAHDHHGF FUCK I FORGOT THE TREK THEME DOOO DODODOOO DOOOD OOO MY PUSSSYYYYYYYYYY SOAKEDDDDDDDDD SHES MAKING THE SAME NOISE SH oh christ i took that one too farback up back up

i sometimes think theres no way ppl read these lbs but if theres one person there hi the credits are rolling

guys the hot cocoa is making my tummy hurt btw but that might also be okay so i got this vegan kebab meat and i didnt know you meant to cook it so i ate the whole pack raw and it was already expired but its like vegan so it cant like be like meat levels of insanity right..... right like im not getting worms am i its. uhm. whatever guys hesclimbing

wheres he going .

dude

th

I SAW CLIPS OF KIRK CLIMBING UP THIS BIG FUCK OFF MOUNTAIN BEFORE AND I KNEW BILLY SHITSTER PUT THIS IN TO WANK HIMSELF OFF BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A PLOT RELEVANT SCENE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CUNT IS JUST DOING IT FOR THE JOKES

THERES NO WAY THIS IS SO FUNNY . KIRK COME BACK DOWN FROM THERE

hi bones- OH MY GODDDDD HIS CUTE LITTLE JACKET HES SO CUTEEEEEEAND HIS LITTLE SCARFFFFF

PUT THIS CUNT RIGHT ONTO YOUR PINTEREST BOARDS LADY HES-

okay ffucking hell the way william shatner still says "spock" i forgot it was like that

"1200 points of interest in yosemite and you pick me" right i forgot they were like that

his spoots.........

that made me laugh i wont even lie the way the cunt just feel

can we get a close up on the dancer cat woman please just for uhm my own . purposes interests i dont - OH HERE WE GO- THREE TITS?

WHOS THIS GIRLBOSS

CAITLYN KATELYN KAITLYN whichever its spelled- also romulan??? i assume that there's been some cultural mingling but imagine if you met a fucking cunt from mars called Sarah.

anyway shes beautiful as hell . for what reason.

seriously the dusty desert planet in scifi they all look the same its so funny

right the prblem is syboks actor is charming as all hell. fucking divert that smoldering gaze i feel fucking weird as hell

OUGHHH SCOTTYYYYYY HII BABYYYYY CAKESOUGHGHH HI ENTERPRISE OHHHHH HIIII UHURAAAA

oh my god she looks so good she LOOKS SO GOOD ... ahh nichelle 3: ... shes got such a good onscreen presence though man HELL its a shame they didnt utilise her more earlier

okay so they decided to put them together i forgot about that im not mad i gues

sulu and chekov hi guys theyre just vibing in the woods HI GUYS SORRY IM NOT IMMUNE TO NOSTALGI AND SEEING MY FAVOURITE GUYS

GUYSSSSS CAN WE ALL BE NICIESSSSS

"ive always known i'll die alone" ALRIGHT GIRL...

this is actually so cute i wont even lie im not endeared im not (is endeared) theyre on freaking holiday together

MARSHMELLON

SPOCK THEY ARENT VEGETARIAN

except for mineeeee that i have om nom nom

afterthe ritual camp sing along we all have insane freaky gay sex onscreen for the rest of the movie. its normal. it would also be less gay than them singng row row your boat like this

im absolutely ctazy for the sfx in this movie like it feels like half of them are pretty solid but theres just random bits that look so janky this is exactly how i want my star trek i wont even lie to you

also i cant tell if this klingon part is meant to have subtitles or not

ok i found the script online + im following along iwth that LOL ... i guess it makes SENSE why the actual subtitles arent like on the video itself but its still funny

sorry to be crass but i know someone somewhere has edited this to say spock (goes off to do that)

the way it takes me 10 million years to watch a movie you have to understand theres sidequests in every movie for me to do

GOD....

THE UNIFORM JACKET WITH THE JEANS THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. ABSOLUTE SLAG MOVES. COME ON SERVE ME CAKE CASUAL STYLE

i love it when the enterprise is busted to be honest its so good i hate functional ships i love it when theyre breaking- fuck me i wanna relisten to wolf 359

i already know the plot twist of that being his brother but its very fucking funny nonetheless that spock just sees his broth-

UI WASL

I WASLITERALLY JUSY ABOUT TO SAY THAT ITS VERY FUNNY WHEN SPOCK SEES HIS BROTHER AND IS DEAD SILENT LIKE "THATS SO ME AND MY BROTHER WE DONT NEED TO TALK LIKE THAT"

AND THEN MY BROTHER DEAD SILENT PUSHES A BIRTHDAY CARD UNDER MY DOOR. THROIWING UP. COSMIC TIMING THANKS BUD

by the way ive actually heard a lot of bad things about this movie and im absolutely agreed that this is corny as fuck but frankly when it comes to tos movies... im actually on board if its corny, even if the story might suck in the end. i mean granted- im hardly into the meat-meat of the movie yet. i dont doubt people slate it for NOTHING, and i presume i'll understand the problems better the more i watch (after all i am already kind of irritated with syboks existence even if i do quite like the actors vibe) but its like... hm how do i put this...

im not actually ever against, like, "nostalgia bait" stuff , i guess, and having fun with things if its kinda a) self aware enough and b) well earned. does that make sense? if it isnt taking itself too seriously and bigging itself up in a dramatic way, AND there's a solid foundation to actually have fun with then im okay with a movie that kind of only spins on the funnier, more casual moments and is somewhat self-indulgent in terms of how it panders to fans with, like, showing them all having fun camping .

the issue for me is when its either, as i said, unearned or trying to take itself too seriously... or maybe, like, when it does veer too close to flanderisation or even just spinning the wheels on the characters. its why i think a lot of chibnall doctor who doesnt realyl work when its trying tobe "fun" or "goof off with the fam" like... you guys never really did the legwork to establish these characters well enough to have that, you know?

and im not saying tos has marvellous character work- we can be honest, and say that outside of the triumvirate theyre all over the place- but i do think theyre solid enough to crry and im well okay with that yeah?

and anyway thats all to say. ive known too many pretentious types disavow all sorts of media that does kind of act a bit self-indulgent or does something fun/stupid and i dont know man i do agree in many ways but also, like, entertainment is sometimes meant to be entertaining and its hardly the worst ever if a star trek movie just fucks about a bit instead of doing some epic space opera every single time, nor does it ruin the entire franchise or work that came before it. its why i really fucking rate the voyage home- because it lets itself take the time, take the breather after the other three movies. like i understand if it does purposefully undermine something else but like... i dont know i feel like some people ironically have such a shallow mindset sometimes where theyre likt, fucking hell, its the death of all media because they were silly 1 time and did something a bit funny/had fun (esp if it isnt just to their tasts)

(adnd yeah its also like... i dont know you know osme ppl who seem to have 0 media awareness in terms of like.. yeah man you can wax pretentious gobshite all you want but also its star trek man and thats not to belittle the franchise in any way but also manage expectations of what youre going to be consuming AND also realise that its not BAD that not everything is, like, you know some high calibre art and that actually that diversity in art is kinda better for your media diet tbh like they all serve a diff purpose like- you know so unrelated its also like im sorry it reminds me of all the discourse around knives out and the such and people not taking that movie into context and whatever the fuck or ALSO how im watching bsg lright now and i know im tempering my expectations interms of what that will deliver, what it will do and even further than that the actual politics)

( BC THAT ALSOOO is a whole other thing im so off topic here where its like im obbiously not talking about genuinely harmful media here but ive seen some ppl online kind of assume that media has to cater to their exact political alignment or else it isnt good and its like i absolutely agree you can analyse/dissect that and with bsg i do sort of like look at it and think well are we being serious with what we're doing here but also like eh shrug its kinda weird when you go in with the intention that apiece of art has to come to your exact own personal conclusions about the world by the end of it do you know what i mean . like i dont even mean tht in terms of like.. trying to defend things, but i mean that in terms of your own personal growth and open mindedness and appreciation for others' worldvew... anyways im so off topic im so so off topic this is literally the final fontirer 1989 here)

anyway im like

IM THE WORST IM RAMBLING LIKE THIS WHEN IVE BATRELY WATCHED THE MOVIE BC LOL #ANNOYING WHEN THIS ISNT EVEN RELATEDDDDDD

my point is i feel like what ive seen so faris kinda fun and the dialogue though corny and whatnot has made me smile enough that i feel like if this is gonna be sustained throughout im not gonna be mad if the overall plot does suck which idk is contrary to what i thought before i started bc ive heard such bad things about this one

which hey i guess theres other stuff behind that too because going back to that self-indulgent part.... it is obvious billy shits is, as i said, having a long self pleasure session . i also know theres other problems there tbh too-yeah...

ANYWAYS

can someone edit in them kicking their legs and giggling 👆

OK I SAID ALL I SAID ABOVE BUT THE UHURA SCENE WAS THAT ONE NECESSAY GUYSSSSSSS

also my god i eed to stop pausing ive been watching for almost 2 hours and im 40 minutes in thats so fucking funny

sybok: "ok but dude i didnt want anyone to dieeeee i was joking"DUDE PLEASE

the catgirl is feral i repeat the catgirl is feral

oh so it turns out the hostages are rather cheeky

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CHANGE THEM OUT OF THEIR GOOD OUTFITS UGHHH BOOOOOO LOSERS BOOOO at least sybok is slaying does he have long hair? i do like that; i do appreciate that

"which will take...?" "exactly 15.5 seconds" "AN ETERNITY, DURING WHICH-"

I GET WHAT THEY MEAN BUT LOL

can i also say i think i said this when watching bsg but i love how many scifi ships have a lets fuck off really fast mode. its so fuckinh funny.

YHE GIRLS ARE FIGHTTIGNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"PICK IT UP" I LIKE HOW HE HAD TO BE TOLD.

AND SYBOK IS LIKE BE SERIOUS I KNOW YOU ARENT GOING TO D- SHOOT HIM? KIRK. BE SERIOUS . HE WONT DO THAT

KIRK YOU BEST NOT BE GOING INTO A STROP LEAVE SPOCK ALONE WILL E VERYONE LEAVE SPOCK THE FUCK ALONE

can i also say . sarek is a right fucking whore. how many wives did he have . like after amanda how many human women did he go through exactly

okay so round about this point i got distracted for another half fucking hour guys its so ufnny how long it takes me to watxh movies

THE WAY THEY JUST KNOCKED SCOTTY OUT. COME ON GUYS HELP

jim being tired climbing up when he literally beasted that mountain come on behave

THE SPOOTS ARE MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY sorry.

the way they all got on together.... please... i will say BOTH times ive expected spock to straight up bridal carry kirk somehow

also i will say god . throwback to pk wars; im still laughing at how farscape presented the eidelons as, like, the answer to peace when its literally brainwashing just like this and its totally unacknowledged. anyways

WHY ARE WE GIVING BONES DADDY ISSUES

THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

IM UNDERSTANDING MORE WHY THIS MOVIE IS DRAGGED BUT I CANT EVEN HATE IT ITS FUNNY TO ME BONES WE'RE GIVING YOU THERAPY TONIGHT

its so funny with bones they just give some random horrors to him whenever the fuck you know and then its never brought up again god love god bless

sarek can be so....

sarek can be so funny im sorry i know this isnt the time im watching him reject infant spock but do you remember in tng when he and picard were... well... they were well acquainted pen pals werent they if you understand me . its like hes a whore . hes a terrible father. hes like the worst. but hes kinda funny sometimes.

OKAY SPOCK SLAYED THAT GET HIS ASS

BONES LOYAL TO THE BESTIES

igotdistractedgaian guys btw this is so bd its like 1pm i started this at 10am but do you know what i need some new shoesso i needed to go find some and research do you know what i mean

i focus now i focus

THE GANG MEETS GOD. WHY NOT.

i always find it outrageously funny whenever they meet god or go to eden in sci fi . beyond hysterical. why not guys hes just been chilling somewhere why not babes .

KIRK BEING LIKE EXCUSE ME ☝️🤨...?

SORRY THATS SO FUNNY . HEY GOD. EXCUSIES. SCUSIES. [GETS HIS TITS BLASTED OFF]

thats funny as fuck

AGAIN IM SEEING MORE AND MORE WHY THIS IS CLOWNED ON THIS IS RANDOM AS ALL HELL BUT ITS FUNNY AND SO INCOHERENT AND THE PACING IS ALL OVER . GOD BLESS THIS MESS

"but captain we're firing directly on your position" can you have a little fucking fun for once chekov light it up bitch

HE SAID OOIEEE YEOWCH

woah he said damn... he said damnnnn

are you about to say sorryyyyyyyyyy

THATS SO FUNNY

THE KLINGON GUY JSUST SAID SOWWWWYYYY I WONT DO IT AGAIN BWAA..... THATSSO FUCKING FUNNY

GOD

YOU WERE NEVER ALONE... DUMBASSS.

PLEASE CAPTAIN. NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS FUCKING HELL. GAY ASS

"i lost a brother once. i was lucky i got him bakc" you guys remember when kirk actually lost his brother like hsi real life brother who died

OUGHGHH OH MY GOD THEIR OUTFITS BY THE CAMPFIRE YESSSSSSSSS

CANT WE GET JUST A MOVIE OF THEM CAMPING SORRY THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MOVIE LIKE THE REST OF IT WAS DEAD BUT I RATE IT FOR ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

HELP...

OKAY THATS OVER

SALUTATIONS I NEED TO TAKE ABREATHER BUT THEN WE'RE ONTO UNCANNY COUNTY

[undead-merman]

Hey, hey! Not sure why we've never asked this before, but what are your guys' thoughts on the OM boys if they were DoL-ified?

This is a very loaded question. In simple terms horrifying yet a bit of a turn on. I'm simply just going to write our thoughts down, no edits just raw thoughts. Editor first words were "They’d live in Donube street" which yeah. I agree with. Or possibly living in a restored Moore castle. "The strange family in the Moore"

Depending on if they they had their powers or not could be fairly different. I'm going to, in this ask, say that they don't.

Lucifer could be like Avery an unknown high paying corporate or high society job. A potential rival to Avery and trying to fight over you its a hostile fight with you in the middle.

Mammon would be a drug dealer of sorts selling aphrodisiacs and other drugs or even a casino owner, underground or otherwise happily hiring you as a dealer or just having you as a customer. May act like Bailey in a sense where Mammon will hunt you down to get any debt owed to him, or if you let people win too much. Editor also gave the idea of him being the leader of the Pirates' that will hang out at the bar. if love is high enough he'll take you on board with you.

Leviathan? We feel he'll stay cooped up in the castle playing his games, only venturing out on to the rocks near the beach at night. only travels in the sewers, though he never picks up any smell for some strange reason. Makes money as a secret tailor.

Satan would be a local librarian or even bartender. Trying to live out his life as normally as he can until you worm your way into his life somehow. Or maybe is a a local museum fan and seeing those performances you did had him excited. Maybe he's a tattoo artist, not going to lie a more punk style Satan is very sexy to me, various tattoos all over him with the classic leather jacket? He tatted himself and they are all masterfully done.

Asmodeus, it's hard to put him in a place other than the brothel or strip club as a regular and being behind the bar. either he can be a helpful coworker to you, a favorite customer, or even a stripping rival, either way he thrives in the sex scene. Maybe he could shares shows with you at the brothel.

Beelzebub we both agree works at the docks. part times at the café but even when he's not working he's always at the café. If you work there he'll invite you to sit and eat with him at high love. He likes the company.

Belphegor seems like he's just be a tired minimum wage pet store worker. He'd probably let you steal or do whatever you wanted as long as you didn't bother him. the more he likes you the more he'll stay awake for you and chat with you. You can also find him randomly with his brothers just napping nearby.

[pensbridgrton]

ok, i gotta ask why do you think romance genre is the antithesis of fandom?? not hating, just intrigued!!

i feel like there are some core parts of fandom that directly conflict with core tenants of the romance genre, and that's why there's so much drama in the bridgerton fandom, specifically.

there are only a handful of "rules" to the romance genre: a happily ever after, no sex scenes with OW/OM, and single-shipping the endgame romance (aka no multishipping).

fandom, meanwhile, is about taking a sandbox created by the source material and playing in it. that could mean writing fic without happy endings. that could mean pairing characters with people they've never interacted with. that could queer-ifying them, genderbending, racebending, etc. etc. so even though there are obvious book endgame ships, the "casual fandom" (yes yes i know that makes no sense) either a) doesn't care bc they don't wanna read the books anyway and therefore show canon is the only canon or b) wants to mess around and explore and play around with other possibilities.

so that's why there's genderbent!sophie and genderbent!phillip fics. that's why people want to talk about their queer readings of benedict and eloise. that's why people write penelope/eloise and penelope/benedict and penelope/anthony fic. (which, interestingly is another whole topic - how it's "okay" for the women to be shipped with everyone and everything, but not the men.) that's why there are benedict/oc and anthony/oc and penelope/oc fics.

basically, it feels like there's a clash here between what the romance genre is about - HEAs and one endgame couple - and what fandom is about - exploring possibilities and messing up those endgames - and while that would be totally fine, it's lead to some passive aggressive posts and drama. just... enjoy your shit and leave everyone else alone.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 26.09.17 lb

“shaadi na ho gayi mahabharat ho gaya.”

bloody hell, good someone recognizes. this shit’s been going on for like.................. years.

wow anika, utaaavli much? seedha elvis pose! 

waise good to see she’s anxious to get laid as well. 

LMAO EVERYONE’S REACTIONS:

omki as usual, is the bestest. i love him so much. 

lol yeah sure anika. hella poor coverup job. 

ugh these two fuckers. cut out the fucking cute and GIVE ME THARAK.

ok how many things today? ring ceremony, mehendi... matlab, 3 mahino se is bloody shaadi ko kheenche jaa rahe ho and now everything’s going to happen in one fucking day? fuck you ppl. 

OMFG ZAAAAAAAAAKIRR KHAN. I LOVEEEEEEEEEE HIMMMMMMMMM. HE’S ONE OF THE FUCKING BEST STAND UP COMEDIANS INDIA HAS. 

i’ve seen him live as well (his new haq se single tour), and he was absolute fire. he did the entire two hours without even a pause for water! 

some of my favt bits by him (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) it’s a little heavy on indori + delhi hindi slang, but if you’re fluent, you’ll love it. 

haaaaye, mere sakht launde ke kya din aa gaye, ke is chutiya show mein usse cameo karna pad raha hai. laanat ho tumpe star plus. laanat. 

pls, shivaay would never be friends with zakir. ever. zakir’s whole schtick is based on his middle class-ness and self deprecation about the chutiyaapa of life when middle class and average and not model-esque looking. now anika and zakir being friends, i can see. they really should have had him be HER friend. 

ok this shit is hella embarrassing for ZAKIR, so imma fwd. 

anika has fucking loooooooost it. 

invisible gauri is in charge of sangeet. (get well soon shrenu! i miss your face already, my little button!)

ohhhhhhhh boy, pinky. 

her complaints be fully legit though. 

wow, even om is trying to shush shivaay. 

dadi has fully forgiven pinky. even after suspecting her to do khulaasa of the oh so dangerous raaz and what not. idgi. 

anika is freaking out. like why though? they’ve gone through this wedding shit a million times. like... just get it over with, sis. 

the real crisis: “main pehnoongi kya??????????” 

hubs is here to calm her down. 

“AAPKA BREATHING GAYA TEL LENE. DO DIN MEIN SHAADI HAI, PEHENE KE LIYE KAPDE NAHI HAI, BREATHING THODI NA PEHNOONGI!?!?!?”

lolllllllll

khudi ke choice ko beautiful keh raha hai. usse bhi toh dikha. she’s the one who has to wear the damn thing her whole life. 

ouffffffff what is this stupid immature billu and bandariya fight???? 

ok that was a little uncalled for, shivaay. 

but i mean.... ok. i woulda done the same. chick was getting OUTTA CONTROL.

aaaaaaand..... every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so....

“breathe shivaay. JUST BREAAAAAAATHE!” lmaooooo

time for some seski romancinggggggg. 

uh huh honey. get itttttttttt. 

sealed with a kiss! 

that ring is too big and so un-anika-like though. 

whut. where the fuck did she get a ring from tho???? 

and how did she conjure that shit up like a fucking magician? 

billu looks like he might cry. i’m loving the whole reversal of the proposal trope!

yo man my girl got some maaaaaaaaaaaad moves, and some hella alluring “let’s sex” eyes. billu can’t even handle it. he’s a weepy, gooey mess. 

ouff billu why would you ask for one more kiss ON THE HAND? you and your damn hand fetish. 

ok my damn heart is bursting from feelz. *weeping* my babies. my beaaaaauuuutiful babies. so happy and peaceful (in the moment. let’s see how long it lasts.)

ocd perfectionist billu is being a pain in the ass for the vendors. ek toh last se bhi last minute order, upar se nakhre hazaar. in the words of zakir, hatt behenchod... 

lol shivaaaay has a phobia of the words “thank you” now. he hears it and instant pavlovian response; thinks he’s fucked up and needs to start grovelling. 

lmao “(w)ow likhne nahi hote shivaay, wow ko mehsoooos kiya jaata hai!”

uh, you’re hindus. “vows” have been prewritten for you for thousands of years. you really don’t need to khapaaofy your sar over it? awaiiii ke chonchle during last minute wedding. 

HE’S WRITTEN HIS VOWS ALREADY. WHAT A NERD. 

ew what is this excited to share in front of whole family waali feeling tho? who are these ppl who like to exhibit their most private feelings like this? mera bas chale toh there’d be no one at my wedding other than the groom and myself. i don’t need ppl witnessing this nonsense. 

“are you staring at my lips?”

lmaoooooooooo him correcting her from offscreen. 

what the fuck even is this rudra scene???? like.... what even is this fastforwarding of their plot???? just yest they were in the guest house almost making out??? 

LMAO ANIKA ADALAT MEIN OATH LE RAHI HO KYA???

ok the first vow itself is setting her up for failure. girl you know you’re gonna call him baaghad billa before the end of the day even.

dude, just steal his vows. 

EEEEEEEEEEEEE SAHILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 

lolllll i knewwww it. she’s making sahil steal shivaay’s vows. 

WHAT FUCKING CONNECTION RUDRA

GOD BHAVYA WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN THE HOUSE RUINING YOUR BIG DAY 

there’s not even dosti between you two. he’s a whiny little pissbaby who’s not even worth befriending. coz he doesn’t get how men and women can be friends.

yup. he’s manhandling her. great. 

AND SLUT SHAMING HER. OMFG RUDRAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST

that’s 3 outta 3 oBros slut shaming their future wives. great job, gulneet! keep it up!!!!

BHAVYA FUCKING HELL GET HIM FUCKING ARRESTED. GOD YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER GIRL; PLEASE, LOVE YOURSELF, MANAV IS SUCH A NICE GUY PLEASE JUST MARRY HIM

lol this tiny munchkin thief. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand shivaay’s here. 

LMAO HE KNEW SHE’D TRY TO STEAL THE VOWS 

omfg the vows are so damn extra, all tied up in ribbon and shit wtf

ok i know this kinda comedy is laaaaaaame, but I FUCKING LOVE IT. also, it was nice to see shivaay in shark singh oberoi mode after a long long time. 

ohhhhhhhhh boy, shivaay gonna fuck her over. 

LMAO HIS LETTER TO HER: 

“wow anika. sorry, nakalchi bandariya. i cannot believe tumne apne chote bhai ko chori karne ke liye bheja, you cheater. apne vows khud likho, and remember it’s VOWS. with a V.” 

sahil sach mein bohut ekta kapoor waale serials dekhne laga hai. 

“aapki help ki chakkar mein meriiii integrityyyyyy pe question mark lag gaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

lmaooooo his dangal waali impression. 

“behen ki shaadi hai, bhai ko aur bhi bohut kaam hote hai, CHORI KE ALAAWA!!!!” 

lmaooooooooo omg i love sahil so much. petition to have him replace rudra as the youngest oBro, coz honestly i want to strangle rudra with my bare hands rn. 

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn omki, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, OH OMKI!!!!! OH OMKI!!!!!!!!!!!! 

omki be all angsty at wife telling him to gtfo. good. 

god i’m so sad we won’t get angsty rikara romance during shaadi ki rasmein. i was soooo looking fwd to it. 

rudra fuck you to fuckkkkkkkkk. 

yes, for fucks sake make your utara hua thopdas better coz SO HELP ME GOD I WON’T LET YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR INSENSITIVITY RUIN THE BIG DAY OF THE ONE OBRO WHO ISN’T COMPLETELY ABOMINABLE RIGHT NOW. 

this weird angst is soooooooo killing my buzz. could you assholes just gtfo???? i really don’t care about your issues that you’ve brought upon yourself.

holy shit shivKara look so damn hot in black. i wanna spread them on toast and just nommmmmmmm. 

can’t even look at rudra with how much i hate him today. 

pinky looks nice. unhappy af, but nice. 

.... why are shakti and tej so awkwardly seated? 

ok, anika’s outfit... isn’t BAD... but isn’t GREAT either. but my girl so pretty, she looks fire anyway. 

i’m really missing more of a younger female presence in this episode, like gauri and bhavya and sumo.

(lol prinku who???? noone gives a shit. gauri has fully replaced prinku as the baby sister of choice. “sabse choti!!!!!!!!” shivaay yelled yesterday. like literally no one gives one flying fuck about stupid prinku who only added nothing but misery to their lives, as opposed to gauri who adds magic and happiness and sunshine and glitter.)

heart eyes motherfucker. “wow” is right. 

i have the same question as shivaay: tote ki yaadaasht achchi hoti hai???? 

she’s gonna fly by the seat of her lehenga and fuck you upppppp billu. 

waise, why are the vows being read on the mehendi day, instead of the shaadi???? 

is baar mehendi mein kaunsa corrosive liquid hoga? 

aaaaand pinky’s going awff. 

shivaay’s wielding phone of tadi. and is fucking up whoever’s on the other end. 

“sab kuch pefect chahiye toh khud karna chahiyeee” bada dialogue maar raha tha. why didn’t you go out and get the mehendi yourself then????

bike pe kaunnnnn hai? is it that new dude? 

lmao mehendi ka wait being made so overdramatic. sit your ass down and wait, loser.

is new dude bringing the mehendi????? 

THIS FUCKER JUST RODE THE BIKE RIGHT INTO THEIR LIVING ROOM. LIKE.... HE HAS TO BE AN OBEROI FOR SURE. SUCH EXTRA CAN ONLY BE IN THEIR GENES. 

what the fuck were security even doing when someone RODE A BIKE INTO THE HOUSE?????? 

digging his leather jacket/skinny tie combo though. 

whoever he is, he cute af. can we replace rudra with HIM? 

“you’re the most beautiful, kind, wonderfully weird girl i know... tumhare saath bitaaya hua har lamha is like an adventure, and i just wanna be with you forever.” 

well damn. those ARE some perfect vows. 

[gsbrandson]

Laurels by the Bay

There was an echo in the canyon, that’s for certain. I believe the year was 1966. Sixty-six was the year where the doors of Capitol records were the entrance to paradise. Not because I could sing or play, but because I could watch and I could record it. Before what you all call the Summer Of Love, there was a lot happening in Los Angeles that really set the tone for the nitty gritty, down and dirty stuff, you know? And I’m happy to say that I was a fixture there. There were films being made in and around our homes, sure. Model Shop being one of the big ones. But no one captured what I did. Everything was stylized so naturally, you see. You can’t cut and retake the pure essence of the canyon. You have to just let it be. You have to let her speak. And she did, through all of us.

I think it was one of the record shops on Sunset that made it all clear for me. I used to sit in the listening room on these modern style chairs that were upholstered with orange leather. The spiraling cord from the KLH stereo to my ears I thought was my connection to heaven. I loved the jazz that birthed rock n roll and the local stuff, of course. Those shops were our beacon of hope and killed our worries for just a moment during the sirens of Vietnam. Those shops are where I first discovered the art of film.

 Down the street a ways from Tower Records was a brand new camera shop simply called Camera and Darkroom. And I was the Levi 501 darling of the boulevard. Well, at least one of them. There weren’t any flowers in my hair yet, but that was soon coming. Outside the camera shop they were demoing the brand new Super8 camera by Kodak. I posed and waved for the camera on the street corner and was told to come back in a week to see myself on the screen. They had a reel going in the darkroom on a white sheet. The owner of the shop had filmed his wife creating a flower arrangement in their kitchen. And of his baby boy making a sand castle on the beach on the fourth of July. I couldn’t help but cry as I watched his life on the screen. How beautiful and how precious were his memories. In live action and in color, repeating again and again. I walked through the projection and reached for a flower in the hand of his sundress wife and it hit me. I had to have one to.

 It was my newest thrill. I had my own Super8 after saving up two paychecks, getting a loan from my father in Connecticut, and telling my landlord that she would receive the rent a week late, as I was “having an emergency”. I started to shiver and squeal when I loaded the first reel of film. My first few shots were out the window of a taxi down Sunset. I loved how the glow of the neon signs came back after development, and so I walked down the strip and filmed the flickering lights of the Whisky A Go Go and the people passing by and waving at me. That’s how I met Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys and how I received my introduction to the Canyon.

 I met Brian post mental breakdown, on one of the few nights he spent out of solitude. He saw me in the street getting a shot of the cars passing by and asked what I was doing. His brothers stood behind him.

“This is a Kodak Super8,” I said. “I’m making movies.”

He invited me up to his house in the canyon and said he had something for me to film. At first, I thought he was coming onto me. But that wasn’t his way. We walked into his living room and it was empty. Apart from a white grand piano and floors covered in three feet of sand. I cannot lie, I was confused. He said, “Sit down, let me explain.” He sat at the piano, Dennis got on drums, and Carl on bass. I started recording. They performed a half buzzed version of In my Room, which I had heard in the record shop a couple of months before. A lot of people believed that God spoke through these boys, as they created the California Myth, especially Brian. And my, my, could he write. The reel from this night is marked with a California surfing edition postage stamp in my archive. I watch it from time to time and pour some Zuma Beach sand that I keep in a bottle by my bed into my hand.

 The footage I have of Dennis’ run in with Charles Manson is now the property of the FBI. I handed the reels over after the murder of Sharon Tate and Charlie’s arrest. One reel is of the state of Dennis’ home after the family’s stay in the summer of 1968. Another is of Charlie pulling a knife on Brian and Dennis at Capitol after receiving constructive criticism on his music. He could never handle that. There is one reel that I kept without the officials knowing. It begins as a pan of Malibu beach, the frame finally resting on a meditating Dennis Wilson and Charles Manson. Both shirtless and in shorts, sitting, legs crossed on large rocks by the sea. Their fingers are out in OM. They wear prayer beads around their necks that were made by the girls in the Family. A peaceful sounding scene, yes. But the way Charlie looked back at the camera is something I will never forget. His eyes looked animal, and that sinister, almost demonic smile haunts me to this day. I believed my camera to be cursed after that. I applied holy water on its handle and the Ladies of the Canyon joined hands in a circle and said seven hail Mary’s over its body. The reel is marked with a red X in my archive, and I haven’t watched it since 1975.

 I was introduced to the Byrds by I don’t remember who. I used to take a car up to their place in the canyon to film them practicing for the Fifth Dimension Tour. They brought me along to their shows on the beaches and to some of the major cities to film a backstage diary. I made them perform Wild Mountain Thyme over and over again to get the right shot. I got so many close-ups of their dark eyelashes on their cheeks when their eyes were closed. We were all so rosy and sun kissed in California. And so much in love. Not with each other, but with the music. So many girls came around and put flowers in their long messy hair and tailored their blazers for television by hand. My favorite reel of them is their TV appearance and performance of Mr. Spaceman. I was front row, and David kept looking down at me and singing through his smile. They were so nervous before that performance, and so happy. This reel is marked with a backstage photograph, rubber banded around the box. Of the boys in their nicest dressing room yet, and it’s titled with a quote from David, saying “Well boys, I think we’ve made the big time.”

 Joni Mitchell sang jazz to me and the music of the world. I was there to watch her switch between mediums. I filmed every brush stroke on canvas and every movement of her gold hair in the sun. She wrote Ladies of the Canyon on a green velvet sofa and in front of a picture window. She watches as I dance with Linda Ronstadt on the rug from Santa Fe. She laughs. And in the morning, she is topless and in jeans. She paces and drinks tea from a daffodil painted cup and saucer. She eats raspberries from a white china bowl. She scratches her head. She smells of the lover’s musk that he gave her just this morning. She keeps smelling her shoulder and writing things down. But she was my flower. She would say to me, “It’s rose day at the market. It’s about a dollar fifty for a bouquet, and about a penny for your thoughts.” These reels are on the top shelf of the archive. They are marked with some of her favorite news clippings about jazz musicians in New Orleans, a poem she wrote for me, and a single dried daffodil.

Young girls were indeed coming to the canyon. Cass Elliot kept a pill bottle of sugar cubes in her kelly green makeup case. They were laced with LSD 25. She sets her hair in the morning and watches the soap operas on NBC. Her closet was full of colorful floral trapeze dresses. Choosing one each morning was her favorite part of the day. All of the boys told her she was a stallion. Strong and majestic, yes, but her false lashes and glamour girl curl set inspired the flowery woman calls of the decade. She was a force to be reckoned with. Could sing the birds out of the trees. And now she had opened her head.

 I filmed the Papa’s thin. The doctors said they were almost to the point of no return. A pin dropping, to them, was a clap of thunder. The group had just made their sixth television appearance for the week, and I was in the dressing room filming the prelude to the California full tilt boogie. The surf shops down the coast dedicated their business hours to the ones they loved. We echoed back. That part wasn’t hard for us, my baby. It was the first time the Mama’s and their Papa’s hit the waves. I have footage of the sun-bleached surf boys teaching us the zen motions of applying sex wax to our boards. They had tan skin and bright white teeth, and they always smiled so big for my camera. I’m afraid that Papa John and Denny couldn’t tell where the waves began. They stood there, twenty feet from the water break, staring into the blue. As loud as she could, surfboard under arm, Cass ran up shore and sang “Come on in, the water’s fine.” And at that moment, the boys returned to Earth. To this day, they owe the ending of their bad trip to Mama Cass. I don’t think they dropped acid again after that. This reel is wrapped in the archive with Cass’ paisley handkerchief that she used to sop up her nosebleeds and a single sugar cube laced with LSD 25.

 It was the man that I fell in love with at the Dog Bar on the coast that brought me, for the first time, into the home of Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. Zappa was sitting at a piano, topless and in jeans, prayer beads around his neck. The top of the piano was covered in stacks of sheet music that he had written himself. I wondered almost immediately how many of them would make the final cut of a record and how many hours a day he spent under his desk lamp with his pen. Before saying hello to me, he said, “Come here for a minute, will you tell me if this sounds ugly?” Frank was writing a song about a CIA man lurking around Laurel Canyon, which later I found out was about Brian Wilson’s schizophrenic paranoia. I was setting up my camera in the corner of the music room and before I could reply with a reassuring “No, it doesn’t sound ugly at all,” there she was in the doorway. This moment caught on tape is to this day, one of my favorites. She was the girl from the Tropicana Motel that he had found in a mini skirt and with a bright floral suitcase. She was looking for rock stars and in a way, he was looking for her. Some say she’s the girl Lou Reed wrote Femme Fatale for after traveling to LA with Warhol. But that’s just a rumor, and she liked it that way.

On this day she entered the room wearing a tiffany blue mesh robe with feathers on the trim. She had a golden fringe bang and white boots up to her knees. She knew without looking straight at us once that the camera was rolling. She sits on Frank’s lap as he continues to play and she wraps her arms around his neck. I’ve taken photographs of the screen at this moment when he looks up at her. I have it timed just right. She was not his wife, but she was, most definitely, the love of his life. She notices his eyes all lit up and laughs. She kisses him bigger than usual. Do you want to guess what he says? He says, “Suzy Creamcheese, oh baby, now, what’s got into ya?”

I don’t think I really learned what poetry truly was or really felt it until I found Jim. I found him In the lobby of the Chateau Marmont and I asked him what his sign was with a lollypop in my mouth. He smiled so big as he said Sagittarius. He was such a beautiful angel boy. And I was over the beat poets already. Jim had a way of making you feel like you were floating. I lived next door to him at that hotel, I kid you not. At night I used to hear him singing in the bathroom from the comfort of his clawfoot tub. He wrote Blue Sunday there. He was in love again, in love every five minutes. I set up my camera and filmed the goings on out the French doors and hoped that the tape recorder as close to the wall as I could get it, would pick up his humming. I eventually gathered enough courage to intrude on his bath for the shot. A wild request, I know. But he didn’t mind. I knocked on the door and received a sing song “Come in!” I heard the water splash as he moved. I believed him to be high out of his mind. The stolen flowers in the bath floated perfectly around him. He criss crossed his arms and held his shoulders. Looked at me like a starlet photographing boudoir for her husband. I think you can hear my sigh on the sound tape. He asked for more rosewater in the bath which I obliged. I have what he said next written in red ink on the reel box. He said, “This is the water of yesterday, and the flowers of tomorrow.”

 There were laurels by the bay in the summertime. And there was only one time where all of us were together. It was the beginning of a new age. The discotech revolution would follow Jim’s death in 1971. Paris, France has him forever. We could all feel a shift after Woodstock. Many of our friends and the voices of Laurel Canyon would be laid to rest in the next two decades and somehow, on this particular day, we all knew it. We were so proud to be from California, even if honorarily so. We spent our final days of love in the ocean spray and in the sun. I do believe whole heartedly that this time altered our ideas of God. We had all been looking for him since 1960. It was 1970 now and it felt like the moon had at last fallen in line with the sun. We were all flying so high above it all for so long. We had pioneered so much and I don’t think any of us went into the 60s knowing what we could reach.

 The reels I have of all of us were shot in God’s country. At Pfeiffer beach and at Big Sur. I still have my admission ticket taped up inside my windshield. This is the footage that I watch the most. It’s the footage that the historians and television stations offer me the most money for. I always decline. I suppose because you can’t put a price on this. These memories are mine. How beautiful and how precious they are. We were all like children climbing through the rocky caves with bare feet and laughing with every wave hit. We were on our beach towels and in large sunglasses, drinking sangria out of a clear mason pitcher and dancing until we were out of breath. We thought the sun could never set on us. The sand was our stage that day. We performed the Ballad of the Bonfire Children, 1969 at nightfall. Our grand finale at the West Coast cabaret. I believe the tourists mistook us for the sirens of the cove or the choir of the sea. “It’s just so hard to leave work at work.” We would all say and laugh. I miss them, all of them. How beautiful they were with their sea salt curls and their tanning oil skin.

 You should have heard them harmonize in the footage on the last reel. They brought us back to 1963 when it all really began. All of them stood around the fire and sang Brian’s Surfer Girl. I have a sound cue on the tape of my thumbs up extending from behind the lens. On the sound tape you can hear me count them in. You can hear the crackling fire in the background. And you can hear me blubbering when they sing “So I say from me to you, I can make your dreams come true.” Because they had.

Dennis Wilson would succumb to a shallow water blackout in 1983. I find it so fitting that he ends our era with one line, well, technically two. He walks to the camera and puts his face so close you can see the sand on his cheeks. He was elated and wrinkled just a bit from sun exposure. When you read his lips, you can almost hear him speak. He says, “This is it, we’re signing off.”

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Bad Uncle by Jordan Silver

My review for Bad Uncle by Jordan Silver #baduncle #jordansilver #favoriteauthor #romance #steamy #roughsex #punishments #hotsex #bookreview #HEA #noseparation #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram @jordan_silver_author

Blurb: When Mark left the home of his adoptive parents seventeen years ago, he swore to himself that he wouldn’t be back until he could get his revenge.

Now eighteen years later he’d moved on and built a life for himself, leaving the past behind. That is until his adoptive brother’s daughter searched him out. The brother who’d made his life a living hell.

Now he’s back in his hometown at the…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Sofa King Hard by Madison Faye

My review for Sofa King Hard by Madison Faye #sofakinghard #madisonfaye #romance #steamy #hotsex #bookreview #HFN #noseparation #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @MadisonFayeSmut

Blurb: Big. Strong. Really good with his hands.

Great at fitting into tight spaces.

No job too hard. No job too dirty.

No stopping him once he’s unchained…

The Marines made me tough. Prison hardened me. Five long years I’ve been away—chained up like a beast without knowing the touch of a woman, serving time for a crime I didn’t commit.

I’m out now, and the proud owner of Sofa King Movers. I’m…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Perfectly Wrapped by CM Steele

#perfectlywrapped #cmsteele #romance #steamy #instalove #bookreview #HEA #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @Author_CMSteele

Blurb: Perfectly Wrapped

Rob—

Stepping into a shop to have a present perfectly wrapped, he never had any idea that he’d walk out with the most beautiful woman on his arm. A night of passion, caution thrown to the wind, and a goodbye note changed him forever.

Rebecca—

The first day as a gift wrapper, and she falls into the arms and bed of a customer. She couldn’t go back. Luckily, she didn’t need…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Slade’s Surrender by M. Merin

My review for Slade’s Surrender by M. Merin #sladessurrender #blackhillsshifters #romance #steamy #instalove #shifters #paranormal #bookreview #HEA #shortseparation #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram

Blurb: After years of searching shifter communities for his fated mate, Slate is at his wit’s end. Once the new park ranger walks into his office, Slate’s bear scoffs at all his preconceived notions. Worried about another human finding out their family’s secret brings about another revelation.

Follow the Major family, a group of black bear shifters living in the Black Hills of South Dakota.…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Damon by Teagan Wilde

My review for Damon by Teagan Wilde #Damon # #RaleighTexasWolves #romance #shifters #paranormal #instalove #bookreview #HEA #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #favauthor #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @LeannAshers

Blurb: Farren

Damon came into my life when I needed him the most. I’d never imagined my mate would be the Alpha of the most notorious pack around.

He became my everything, but little did I know my future with him was in danger.

Things were not what they seemed…

Damon

When I allowed a new member to join my pack, I never imagined that she would become mine. Farren was not what I’d expected, and…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Already Home by Mayra Statham

My review for Already Home by Mayra Statham #AlreadyHome #MayraStatham #romance #bookreview #HFN #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram

Blurb: Jason Somers and Rocio Padilla have been friends forever.

She used to have feelings for him but didn’t think he could see her as more than one of the guys.

Timing has never been right for him to make a move on the one woman he’s always wanted.

Her fortieth birthday is right around the corner, and she’s ready to make big changes. Life throws them a lifeline just in time for a curveball…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for The Alpha’s Christmas Mate by R. E. Butler

My review for The Alpha’s Christmas Mate by R. E. Butler #TheAlphasChristmasMate #REButler #romance #bookreview #HFN #instalove #shifters #paranormal #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram @rebutlerauthor

Blurb: When Sugar Pierce is asked to be her adopted sister’s Maid of Honor for her Christmas Eve wedding, she gladly steps into the role. As the only snow leopard in the wolf pack, she’d do anything for her adopted family.

Alpha lion Maddox Hayes is happy to stand up as Best Man for his only sibling’s marriage to a she-wolf. As alpha, he’s bound by pride laws to mate a lion female, but he’s…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Thankfully Yours by Haven Rose

My review for Thankfully Yours by Haven Rose #ThankfullyYours #HavenRose #romance #bookreview #HEA #steamy #instalove #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @Haven Rose

Blurb: A new start…

Devlin Mathers has been hired by Carson Customs, a position he’s eager to start. But first, he must move to a new state and find a place to live. He finds the perfect home, unfortunately, someone else already owns it; the same woman Devlin vows to marry at first sight.

…leads to forever.

Ashton Carson has spent many years focused on opening her own salon, and now that it’s…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Lift by Alexa Riley

My review for Lift by Alexa Riley #Lift #AlexaRiley #romance #bookreview #HEA #steamy #instalove #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #favauthor #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @_AlexaRiley

Blurb: Sloan Martinez wasn’t living her best life, but she was doing everything she could to get there. After her parents were arrested for embezzlement she was left penniless, so she borrowed a friend’s car and decided to make some cash as a driver. It wasn’t the safest of jobs, but she didn’t have much choice. It wasn’t all that bad, until he got in one night.

  Harris Hill is a workaholic…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for His Beauty By Leah Sharelle

My review for His Beauty By Leah Sharelle #HisBeauty #WoundedSouls #MC #LeahSharelle #romance #bookreview #HFN #steamy #instalove #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #favauthor #romancebookstagram #bookstagram @authorleahsharelle

Blurb: You, Beauty are the love of my life.

Steel was one of the best snipers the commando’s had ever seen. He was the V.P of the Wounded Souls MC and ran the club’s Bar and Grill. Steel was also desperately lonely. He tried to fill the void in his heart with the wrong woman. Callie was easy, she didn’t make him use his heart. The path he secretly wanted to take, would lead him to the woman he…

[blog-storiesinreview-blog]

My review for Trick or Treat by Haven Rose

My review for Trick or Treat by Haven Rose #TrickorTreat #HavenRose #romance #bookreview #HEA #steamy #instalove #noseparations #nocheatingbetweenmcs #romancebookstagram #bookstagram

Blurb: Simone Lancaster spent her entire life on the move thanks to her dad’s military career. With both parents having passed, she’s decided to set down roots for the first time. She doesn’t know what led her to Jasper, but she quickly falls in love with the town. Her new best friend, Ashton, hopes that’s not the only thing though…she knows someone who’ll be perfect for her.

Wyatt Carson has…