#Nicky may be the Quiet One but ask him about his bows and arrows and He Will Infodump you

[regina-del-cielo]

So, there’s this Italian Facebook parody page called ‘Feudalism and Freedom’ (Feudalesimo e Libertà), who makes fun of the whole ‘aah how I miss the Good Ole Days’ attitude by making it sound like the Age of Feudalism was The Only Good Time - writing in Funny Ancient Italian, expounding on the Emperor vs The Pope diatribe or posting things like ‘at Christmas don’t wait for Santa, celebrate the Incoronation of Charlemagne instead’. It’s hilarious.

Today’s post was a Discourse asking which were the best between English longbow archers and Genoan crossbowmen

and my mind IMMEDIATELY conjured Nicolò di Genova, Projectile Weapon Expert, Sniper Extraordinaire, who could probably re-build both weapons from scratch with absolute historical accuracy, writing a 2000+ word Essay with his fake Facebook account.

Imagine him Discussing the pros and cons of Accuracy vs Range vs Specialization-of-Soldiers vs Speed-in-Action with a bunch of other Medieval Weapon Nerds. Imagine. 

(he’d probably think you can’t just compare those two because yes they both involve arrows but it’s like saying a sniper rifle and a machine gun are the same because they both shoot bullets)

(one of the actual commenters basically implied that the crossbow was better since ‘the English archers fought with St. George’s Cross on their chests and Genova literally loaned their banner to them’, and honestly the idea of Nicky having Beef with the English because ‘that contract is still valid AND THEY’RE NOT PAYING US ANYMORE HOW IS THAT GOOD BUSINESS BEHAVIOUR’ is SO FUNNY to me you can’t understand)