#New pad only takes a certain app and thankfully I know my way around that one somewhat

[flattired]

(     JACOB ELORDI,   CIS  MAN,   HE / HIM     —     oh  gosh,  sorry  THOMAS  “TOMMY”  BARNETT !  i  didn't  see  you  there !  y'know,  i  can't  believe  you're  already  TWENTY FIVE  years  old;  seems  like  just  yesterday  you  were  tripping  over  yourself,  or  was  that  yesterday ?  just  kidding,  just  kidding  !  anyway,  i  hear  that  you've  been  here  since  1978,  or  so  you  think;  congratulations  !  at  least  that  shining  OBLIGING  personality  of  yours  hasn't  changed  a  bit,  especially  that  LOYAL  +  AMICABLE,  but  FOOLISH  +  RESTLESS  way  about  you.  look,  i  gotta  get  back  to  the  group,  but  i'll  see  you  around  !

        hello,  hello!  my  name  is  rion,  though  at  this  point  you  might  know  be  better  as  admin  jay  on  the  main!  i...  i  just  need  you  guys  to  know  how  absolutely  excited  i  am  that  you’re  all  here.  lilah  will  tell  you  that  basically  every  time  we  got  an  app  she  had  to  listen  to  me  say  holy  shit  again.  we  also  sent  each  other  the  paul  rudd  ‘  hey,  look  at  us  ’  video  a  lot.  it  just  really  means  the  world  to  us  that  you  guys  took  the  time  to  join  this  and  we  hope  you  enjoy  what  we  have  planned.  so  yeah!  mush  out  of  the  way,  let  me  introduce  you  to  the  sweet  but  easily  lead  astray,  tommy  barnett.

full  name :   thomas  barnett

age  upon  check  in :   twenty  five

gender  &  pronouns :   cis  man  &  he / him

trait :   obliging 

personality :   loyal,  amicable,  foolish,  restless

aesthetic :   survival  came  thanks  to  quick  hands,  the  ability  to  stay  upright  despite  the  strikes,  and  an  uncanny  ability  to  find  friends  in  high  places   (   just  like  you  were  taught   )   —   let  them  pull  you  up,  believe  that’s  what  they’re  doing,  and  repay  that  kindness  with  service.  a  well  worn  deck  of  cards  dictates  the  shape  of  your  back  pocket,  the  faces  of  queens  and  jacks  rubbed  soft  to  the  touch  by  your  left  thumb.  brother  was  a  soldier,  you  were  conscripted  to  a  different  brotherhood,  orange  prescription  bottles  standing  at  attention,  waiting  to  be  carried  off  by  you.  marked  body,  both  for  lust  and  anger.  low  expectations  allow  one  to  slip  through  life  unnoticed ;  that’s  an  asset,  not  a  concern.  just  keep  your  mouth  shut,  kid,  your  comforts  come  at  a  certain  price.

WHO  ARE  YOU ?

         tw.  parental  neglect,  toxic  relationships,  verbal  abuse,  drugs  /  drug  dealing

thomas  barnett  was  the  younger  of  two  sons  born  to  eliza  and  charles  barnett,  a  dysfunctional  couple  living  just  above  the  poverty  line.  tommy  grew  up  learning  how  to  avoid  their  often  explosive  arguments,  which  often  spilled  onto  those  around  them   (   skills  include:  knowing  which  way  you  could  walk  pass  the  kitchen  without  being  noticed,  which  window  opened  without  squeaking,  which  headphones  were  worth  saving  up  for  because  they  actually  blocked  sound  like  they  claimed   ).  thankfully,  tommy  was  not  alone  in  this,  he  had  james:  an  older  brother  who  faithfully  looked  after  him  in  ways  their  parents  never  did.  without  james,  it’s  unclear  where  tommy  would  be  now.

he  was  never  seen  as  the  smartest  child.  liked  by  teachers  when  he  was  young  for  being  kind  at  heart,  but  it  took  him  more  time  than  others  to  grasp  concepts  they  were  teaching.  he  struggled  to  pay  attention,  and  as  he  grew  older   kind   didn’t  seem  to  be  enough  anymore  when  compared  against  his  struggles  to  focus  or  retain.  he  skidded  by  in  school,  passing  by  the  skin  of  his  teeth,  his  parents  far  too  preoccupied  with  the  bills  they  couldn’t  pay  and  their  anger  with  each  other  to  notice  how  their  younger  son  was  struggling.  tommy  didn’t  care  enough  to  seek  out  help  on  his  own,  frustrated  with  the  way  academic  pursuits  made  him  feel,  and  while  james  was  doing  his  best,  there  was  only  so  much  he  could  do.

tommy  was  fifteen  when  james  was  conscripted,  and  suddenly  he  was  on  his  own.  that  buffer  between  him  and  his  parents  was  in  one  of  the  carolinas,  attending  basic,  and  tommy  was  forced  to  bare  the  brunt  of  their  anger  that  spilled  over.  they  used  him  as  a  tool  to  wound  each  other,   no  wonder  he’s  failing,  he’s  your  son,   but  tommy  was  the  one  who  ended  up  wearing  most  of  the  injuries.  yet,  it  would  not  be  the  last  time  would  become  a  weapon  for  someone  else.

he  would  find  new  excuses  to  spend  time  away  from  the  small  house  that  had  no  place  to  hide,  mostly  spending  time  at  various  friends’  houses,  but  when  a  teenage  boy  is  seeking  to  find  things  to  do  it  is  often  that  he’ll  find  himself  with  new  and  exciting  bad  habits.  he  started  smoking,  getting  into  fights  when  there  was  nothing  else  to  do,  and  eventually  helping  a  boy  named  davey  deal  drugs.

david,  davey  to  tommy    —    though  he  accepted  the  nickname  from  no  one  else,  was  the  other  constant  in  tommy’s  life  besides  james.  they  met  in  the  third  grade  and  davey  was  seemingly  everything  tommy  wasn’t.  people  thought  he  was  clever,  he  didn’t  worry  about  school,  and  as  far  as  tommy  could  tell,  davey  was  absolutely  loaded.  despite  the  differences,  they  were  fast  friends,  and  tommy  became  extremely  loyal  to  the  other  boy  over  the  years.  that’s  why,  when  davey  got  involved  in  some  things  that  were  less  than  legal,  tommy  found  himself  involved  as  well.

for  all  the  cleverness  davey  was  touted  to  have,  the  scheme  was  rather�� simplistic.  maybe  that  was  the  genius  of  it  though.  davey’s  father  was  a  doctor,  a  psychiatrist  specifically,  and  apparently  it  was  easy  enough  to  pull  rx  pads  from  the  desk  within  their  home.  then  davey  would  fill  them  out  in  the  way  he  wanted  to,  forge  his  father’s  signature,  and  take  the  scripts  to  various  out  of  town  pharmacies  to  get  them  filled.  then  he,  with  the  help  of  tommy,  could  sell  them  at  a  premium.  

tommy  was  never  certain  why  davey  did  it,  but  for  tommy  it  was  about  achieving  a  bit  of  freedom,  independence.  the  deal  was  never  something  that  fits  who  he  was  at  heart,  especially  with  some  of  the  more  questionable  things  davey  did,  but  he  tried  not  to  think  about  that.  his  bartending  job  was  something  that  left  him  living  paycheck  to  paycheck,  but   this   ...   well,  it  let  him  move  out  of  his  parent’s  place,  and  it’s  the  first  time  he’s  just  had  cash  on  hand  without  having  to  think  about  it.  he  wouldn’t  like  to  admit  it,  but  there’s  also  something  about  the  excitement,  the  way  it  scratches  that  restless  itch  of  his,  that   (   in  addition  to  his  loyalty  to  davey   )   kept  him  in  the  game.

WHERE  &  WHEN  DID  YOU  CHECK  IN  ?

when  tommy  opened  the  door  to  his  room  the  next  morning  to  find  the  raven  house,  he  knew  instantly  something  had  changed.  it  wasn’t  hard  to  figure  out  considering  he  had  checked  into  a  motel  6  off  of  i - 95  the  night  before.  sure,  it  had  been  a  late  night  and  he  hadn’t  gotten  much  sleep,  but  when  you’re  expecting  to  step  out  onto  a  concrete  walkway   (   red  metal  railing  in  front  of  you,  a  half  empty  parking  lot  that  hosts  an  above  ground  pool  that  is  closed  for  the  season   )   and  are  instead  greeted  by  a  dark  hallway  and  someone  wearing  what   must   be  a  halloween  costume,  it  doesn’t  take  a  genius  to  tell  that  something  has  changed.  which  is  good,  considering  no  one  has  ever  accused  thomas  barnett  of  being  a  genius.  there  were  plenty  of  other  things  people  called  him,  and  he  tried  to  not  let  those  things  bother  him.

but  it  was  1978,  and  no  one  dressed  like  that  anymore.  at  least   ...   he  didn’t  think  anyone  did.

this  wasn’t  even  supposed  to  be  a  trip.  just  a  night  drive;  windows  down  in  his  car  and  recorded  cassettes  with  his  favorite  songs  playing  at  top  volume.  it  wasn’t  his  fault  he’d  lost  track  of  time  and  ended  up  further  from  home  than  he’d  planned.  now  he  was   ...   here,  wherever  here  was.  the  raven  house  didn’t  look  like  anything  he’d  ever  seen  before.  the  luxury  is  almost  off  putting  to  he  who  is  far  more  comfortable  in  dive  bars  and  parties  in  unfinished  basements.  it  reminded  him  of  davey’s  house,  almost,  a  place  that   (   despite  the  years  that  they  had  been  friends   )   tommy  never  felt  like  he  belonged  inside  of.

except,  this  was  even  nicer  than  that.

WHAT  WENT  WRONG  ?

        tw.  drugs  /  drug  dealing

a  flat  tire.

which  would  have  been   fine.   he  knew  how  to  change  a  flat  tire.  so  technically,  what  had  gone  wrong  was  that  he  also  got  a  flat  tire  three  months  before,  and  he’d  never  replaced  the  spare.

tommy  managed  to  pull  the  car  over,  and  upon  discovering  this  and  checking  the  time  on  the  car  radio,  he  decided  there  was  nothing  he  could  do  tonight.  a  neon  vacancy  sign  was  visible  from  where  he  was  standing,  and  he  was  sure  they  had  a  payphone  he  could  use  in  the  morning,  call  a friend  or  call  a  tow  truck.  it  would  be  fine  to  leave  the  car  here  until  then,  right?  of  course  it  would  be.

as  it  turned  out,  it  wouldn’t  really  matter.

there  was  a  bag  in  the  trunk,  something  inspired  both  by  his  occupation   (   occupation?  side  gig,  to  supplement  bartending,  to  help  out  his  friend...  it  was  just  pills   )   and  advice  from  his  older  brother.  james  had  seen  some  shit    —    or,  that’s  how  tommy  would  explain  it.  james  had  never  given  him  any  of  the  specifics,  so  he  had  none  to  pass  on.  inside  the  bag  were  the  essentials,  certainly  everything  he’d  need  for  a  one  night  stay  at  a  motel.  could  you  even  call  it  one  night  if  it  was  already  past  midnight?

WHY  WERE  YOU  BROUGHT  HERE  ?

it  might  be  easy  to  pin  tommy  as  the  extraverted  type,  but  the  truth  is  under  a  somewhat  loud  exterior,  there’s  a  kind  heart:  someone  who’s  loyal  and  easy  going  and  could  certainly  be  considered  obliging.  that’s  the  trait  that  brought  him  to  the  raven  house,  and  if  you  think  about  it  for  even  just  a  moment,  it’s  not  hard  to  see  why.  an  individual  who’s  never  a  leader,  always  the  support,  and  doesn’t  mind  it.  a  good  listener,  someone  who  will  do  anything  for  those  he  cares  for,  or  who’s  happy  just  to  play  the  music  a  little  louder  and  sing  along  with  you  if  that’s  what  you  need.  the  fights  he  used  to  get  into  were  just  something  to  do,  to  assuage  the  restles  spirit  that  needs  to  stay  occupied,  of  something  for  a  friend  wronged   (   though  this  definition  has  become  somewhat  muddled   ),  but  truthfully  he’s  good  natured  at  his  core.  he  knows  what  it  is  like  to  receive  help  when  you  need  it,  and  he’ll  return  that  favor  to  the  world  any  day.

WHICH  ITEM  IN  YOUR  POSSESSION  IS  THE  MOST  IMPORTANT  ?

it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards.  it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards  except  it  was  a  birthday  present  from  james.  it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards  but  they’ve  been  worn  soft  to  the  touch  by  the  repeated  pressure  of  being  rubbed  between  his  thumb  and  fingers.  he  used  to  do  card  tricks  with  them,  but  now  he’s  worried  they’ll tear.  a  new  deck  was  picked  up  in  the  lobby  convenience  store,  but  the  old  deck  is  important,  even  if  it  is  no  longer  useful.

   ...   WAS  THERE  ANYTHING  ELSE  ?

can  be  goaded  into  almost  anything  with  the  phrase   ‘   i  dare  you.   ’

is  the  guy  who  suggests  that  everyone  play  the  black  betty  game  at  parties,  and  feels  clever  when  he  explains  it.

will  kick  your  ass  at  a  game  of  quarters

was  an  obnoxious  car  signer.  his  ability  is  average,  the  issue  lies  in  his  inability  to  truly  focus  on  driving  at  the  same  time.

now  an  obnoxious  hotel  shower  singer.  my  apologies  to  whoever  has  the  room  next  to  him.

to  compound  that,  he  tends  to  keep  strange  hours.  time  isn’t  real  here,  but  his  body  is  still  on  the  schedule  of  his  bartending  job  and  mostly  nocturnal,  if  such  a  thing  is  possible  here.

has  argued  with  the  empty  other  side  of  the  bar  over  how  a  drink  is  made.

hates  the  feeling  of  being  cooped  up  here,  more  than  he  dislikes  the  issue  of  time.  he  used  to  drive  a  lot  and  has  replaced  that  by  wandering  the  floors  of  the  hotel.

[hamiltimebinches]

John Laurens x Reader: Flowering Affections Chapter 6

A/n: Chapter 5  CHAPTER 7 IS HERE

Timeline: Modern

Warnings: None

Words: 2,662

    Thomas not only drove me all the way back to my apartment building but went with me all the way up to my apartment. He claimed it was because he just wanted to make sure I made it safely, I have a feeling there was a bit more to the story. I have a feeling that he wanted to stay with me a bit longer. The whole way from the Brick House to my apartment building Thomas and I talked. We talked about our junior and senior years and what we’re majoring as and what college we go to. Thomas is majoring in politics and going to a college around forty minutes away from Brown University, the college I am attending, and my apartment. My apartment building isn’t all that far away from my college thankfully.     I’m so lucky that Thomas had decided to check out one of the bars that his friend, more like acquaintance, recommended. Luckily, the bar he decided to check out was the Brick House. Thomas had actually been in the bar at the same time I was and exited it maybe a few minutes after me. He has said things were getting way to stuffy in the building and needed a few minutes to cool down until he went back in. He had decided to take a little walk to cool down and ended up stumbling upon the situation between myself and that drunk man. Which then Thomas came to my rescue.     I had told Thomas how I went to the bar with five of my friends, one of which I was crushing on big time. Yes, I told him that. I told him that the main reason I even went was because John wanted me there. Yes, I also told him about John being the one I’m crushing on. In order for him to get the full story I told him everyone who was there and my relationship with them. I mentioned how I was close friends with Laf, Herc, and Alex. He already knew from earlier statements my status as very close friend with John. Then the fact that I was acquaintance friends with Eliza. Funny thing, Thomas knows Alex and apparently the two hate each other. Not too much of a surprise, due to his loud and very opinionated personality Alex is hard to like. I easily went through the events of the night with Thomas, all the way up to the very moment he saved me.     “I can’t thank you enough, Thomas. For both saving me and then giving me a lift home, more importantly for saving me.” I said as we stopped in front of my apartment door. “And I can’t tell you enough times that there’s no need to thank me. I would have done it for anyone, it’s just the right thing to do.” Thomas replied, a slight teasing smirk pulling at his lips.

   “Shut up! I have to thank you. How could I not? If you hadn’t come along for all we know I could have been raped or, even worse, killed. I could have ended up like one of those women who just disappear and then months later show up dead in the middle of the woods, having been dead for who knows how long.” I protested, making sure to not speak too loudly. It’s three quarters after one and I know for certain my neighbors will not appreciate being woken up this early.     “Well, when you put it that way.” Thomas said, trailing off in thought. A moment passed and then two. “Nope, still don’t need to thank me. It wasn’t any trouble at all.” He concluded with a shrug of his shoulders. “You are unbelievable.” I commented but even as I said that I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. It truly is unbelievable that someone could just shrug off saving someone from something that could have ended in a murder. Leave it to Thomas to shrug it off like it was nothing.     “Well, I should probably head into my apartment, my roommate is probably still up. She’ll be wondering what’s going on, normally I give her an hourly update of how the night is going. It’s been two hours and I haven’t texted her once, she’ll be starting to worry.” I said, I’ve always been a bit awkward about ending a conversation and leaving. “Of course, of course, but first. Can I have your phone for a moment?” Thomas asked.     I nodded and handed him over my phone, having unlocked it beforehand. I watched in confusion as he tapped around for a moment before handing me back the phone. I looked down at the screen to see it opened up to my contacts app. On it was a new contact with Thomas’s name on it. He just entered his phone number into my phone. “If you have some free time your welcome to hang out with me. Or if you want to just talk feel free.” He said with a shrug. “Thanks, I will.” I said with a nod. With that I hugged him goodbye and entered my apartment.      “(Y/n), is that you?” Maria’s voice called out. From the sounds of things she was in the living area. “Yeah.” I answered while slipping out of my black heels. I was once again reminded as to why I never wear heels, they’re beyond uncomfortable. I placed my keys back into the glass bowl. I heard the familiar padding of sock-clad feet as Maria made her way to the small hall that leads into the doorway.     “You have nerve, y’know. You don’t text me for two hours and then you’re suddenly home. You best be ready to explain yourself.” Maria said with a glare but I could tell that she really wasn’t angry with me. Maybe a bit annoyed but not angry. Mostly she’s probably curious. She probably thinks something fun and exciting happened. I wish something had. This is really going to put a damper on her mood. “C’mon, I’ll tell you over ice cream.” I said, passing by her and heading for the kitchen. I have a feeling that I’m going to need it.

     When I entered the living room I saw Maria looking at me in worry. Then again, why wouldn’t she. She knows that when I say that I’ll tell her something over ice cream something went wrong. I pretended to not notice her concerned stare and plopped down next to her on the couch. I hate it when people worry and fret over me. I pulled my legs onto the couch and crossed them Indian style. Leaning over, I placed the two tubs of ice cream that had been occupying my hands on the coffee table along with the two spoons.     “(Y/n), did something happen?” Maria asked, breaking the silence. I ignored her. I know it’s rude, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I couldn’t bring myself to talk, not yet. So I preoccupied myself with the ice cream. I peeled the tops off the tubs, setting them to the side, and stuck a spoon in each container. I looked at both flavors. Mint chocolate chip or strawberry. I mentally debated which one I wanted. I want something sweet and they both are sweet but strawberry is sweeter. I grabbed the mint chocolate chip tub and handed it to Maria, avoiding eye contact. Then I brought my tub of ice cream into my lap with both hands. I looked down at the cold dessert, noticing how the coolness radiated through the tub and onto my hands. I shivered.     I grasped my spoon and dug out some of the ice cream, shoving the whole thing in my mouth. I pulled the spoon out of my mouth and noticed the texture and flavor of the ice cream. It was smooth and tasted like strawberries as it should, maybe artificial but strawberries all the same. Minutes passed by in silence, Maria seemed to understand that I’m not ready to talk yet. Time ticked by and soon enough I was chilled and half of my pint of ice cream had been devoured. I reached behind me and pulled a fluffy throw from the back of the couch and around my shoulders.     I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out through my mouth. I was finally ready to talk. “Yes, Maria, something did happen.” I started, finally responding to her question that she had asked before. She stayed silent but nodded her head. I took in another breath, trying to think of what to say next. “Do you want to talk about it?” Maria asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. Even through the fluffy throw I could feel the cold on her hand seeping through to me. “Yes, but I don’t know where to start.” I responded then shoved another bite of ice cream into my mouth. I regretted it as a new shiver shook my body. “What better place to start than the beginning?”     Maria’s right. There is no better place to start than the beginning. “When we got to the Brick House I told John how the area made me uneasy. John reassured me everything was going to be okay and-”     “And promised that he would keep you safe. Oh, oops! Sorry for interrupting you.” Maria apologized. Her cheeks became a rosy color and she grinned at me sheepishly. I rolled my eyes before continuing my story. I had forgotten that I texted her about John’s promise.          “Everything went well  for the next hour or so, the guys were drunk off their asses as usual. This time around I was watching John and Laf. Laf was easy enough to watch, as I’ve told you before he’s not too much of a handful when drunk. John, well, John’s a whole different story. He becomes extremely flirty and is willing to flirt with pretty much anything that has two legs. Due to that he ended up flirting with this one girl. Her name was Dawn, that bitch, and she was very obviously still sober. She had evil intentions, I know it. So, I went over to take care of John and get him away from her. Long story short she convinced him that there’s no way I’m his friend because I was spreading lies about obviously good people. In response to that John said some pretty hurtful things and I stormed out of the building.”     I thought it would be hard to start explaining things, but it turns out it wasn’t. Once I had gotten started nothing could stop me. Not even fear. It had taken a little while to explain anything, maybe ten minutes, but not once did I find myself having to stop. It was surprisingly easy to tell her everything that had gone on tonight. Not once did I find myself getting choked up or the words not forming. Everything came as natural as telling someone about the weather conditions.     “-That’s how I got back.” I said as I finished up recounting the events that had terrified me not only an hour ago. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay!” Maria exclaimed, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me close. “I am too.” I whispered. “I’m so lucky Thomas was there. But even if he wasn’t and something happened it would have been my fault. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the best of me.” I said, pulling away from the hug.     “(Y/n)! Don’t say that! Nothing that happened is your fault, no one’s to blame. And if someone has to take the blame it would be that pervert and John.” Maria said, some emotion lighting a flame in her eyes. “How could any of that be John’s fault?” I questioned, an eyebrow raising. “He promised you that he’d protect you. He should have kept good on that promise, even if it meant that he had to be more responsible and drink less. He shouldn’t have gotten drunk! If he hadn’t have gotten drunk you wouldn’t have stormed out and nothing of what happened would have happened.” Maria exclaimed. Ah, now I can understand what emotion she’s feeling. Even if she’s refusing to show it, she’s angry. Angry at John and angry at that pervert.     “Don’t blame John.” I sighed out. Blaming John won’t get me anywhere, it’ll only make things worse. Maria’s right about one thing. He should have kept his promise, therefore he should have never gotten drunk. We all make mistakes though, some maybe more than others. If anyone is to blame for this it’s me. That’s what it comes down to. I was the one who let their emotions get the best of them. I was the one who just straight up left. I was the one stupid enough to not pay attention to my surroundings.

    “Then who’s fault is this?” Maria grumbled. Sounds about right. She always wants to make sure someone takes the blame for what happened and then get punished. I want to say myself but she’ll fight me on that. I’m in no mood to fight her about something that is very obviously my fault. “Well, as you said earlier, it’s that pervert’s fault. He’s to blame for what happened, not John.” I said whilst getting to my feet. “(Y/n), John is partially-” Maria started. She always did have a thing out for him. Never really liked him all that much, I’ve never been able to see why. Then again, I’m in love with the guy. She probably doesn’t like him because of how loud he can get.     “Maria, can we just drop the subject for now? I’m tired and I’m sure you are too.” I interrupted. It was rude of me, I know, but I really don’t want to continue this conversation. Sure, what happened was terrible. What almost happened was even more terrible, but nothing really did happen. I’m fine and that’s what matters. I doesn’t matter who’s fault it was in the long run. Why dwell on it then?     Maria looked up at me with what appeared to be a hurt expression, and I realized I did hurt her a bit. I shouldn’t have interrupted her. I felt a pang in my heart. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t form the words and I knew Maria wouldn’t want an apology yet. She’d want a little bit of time to pass so she will be able to accept the apology when it comes. Maria looked down at her lap with a sigh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She said quietly.     I had nothing more to say. What was there to say? I could apologize, but she wouldn’t be able to accept it and that would just make her feel worse. We’re not continuing our conversation. There really wasn’t much left to say. With that in mind I awkwardly bid her good night and made my way to my room. That’s the thing when it comes to arguments or hurting one another in some way things always get a bit awkward. Neither of us really know what to say and we don’t want to appear rude by just leaving. Normally we end up just awkwardly standing there watching one another until one of us muster the courage to leave.     When I was finally out of my somewhat uncomfortable outfit and in pajamas I settled down into my bed. I shimmied under the warm and soft covers and let out a content sigh. That’s what I love about going to bed. My sheets are always so welcoming and all my worries and cares just seem to float away. Just like always it didn’t take me long to fall into slumber with the influence of my warm covers and the faint lingering scent of the candle I normally have burning when working in here.     With one final content sigh I slipped off into a dreamless sleep.

[droneseco]

Kyvol Cybovac S31 Review: Watch Out iRobot, Kyvol is Coming

Kyvol Cybovac S31

9.00 / 10

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The Kyvol Cybovac S31 is just a fantastic robot vacuum. It comes with all the features you'd expect to get from a more expensive iRobot model, but for a few hundred dollars less.

Key Features

Cheaper than comparable iRobot models

Works on anything from hard floors to medium-pile carpets

Vacuums and mops

Auto-emptying 4.3L base station

3000Pa suction power

Specifications

Weight: 7.7 lbs

Collection Capacity: 500 ml

Filters: Triple-layer with High-Performance Filter

Pros

Good cleaning power for the price

Offers plenty of customization features

Convenient auto dust emptying base

Good battery life

Cons

Mopping is inadequate for most people

Setting up multi-floor functionality is cumbersome

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I was never been a big fan of robot vacuums, but perhaps I'd just never met the right one. It wasn't a Roomba by iRobot that sparked my love for cleaning robots. It was the Kyvol Cybovac S31 that turned me into a believer.

When you have a robot vacuum that actually delivers on its promises, a whole new world of laziness becomes available to you. All of a sudden, you can hit a button on your phone to clean your house instead of getting up off the couch to do it the old-fashioned way.

When the robot vacuum actually manages to navigate your home without getting stuck on every obstacle that comes into its path, you can really just set it and forget it.

Sure, it's not perfect, but for the price, you'll have a hard time finding a robot vacuum that comes with as many features as this one.

Want to know what exactly makes it so great? Read on to suck up some facts about this feature-packed vacuum cleaner.

Setting Up The Cybovac S31

After I cracked the box open and pulled out the vacuum, base, and accessories, I had to get everything up and running. It's a bit of a process, but the Kyvol app does a decent job guiding you through everything.

You'll need to pick a spot for the base, which is a little bigger than your average robot vacuum, thanks to the automatic dust box emptying feature. You'll also need to put one of the included bags inside the base to collect all of the dust and debris the vacuum pulls up from your home.

The vacuum will run you through a firmware update when you use it for the first time, which took about 10 minutes. You'll need to make sure the battery is charged to at least 20-percent to complete the firmware upgrade. Once that's taken care of, you'll be ready to put it to work cleaning all the stuff you leave behind. And with a white shedding dog, I leave plenty behind for it to clean.

What Can the Cybovac S31 Do?

When it comes to features, the Cybovac S31 is fully loaded. Reading its spec sheet is like reading a list of potential features for robot vacuums because it does it all.

However, having the features is only step one. The vacuum needs to actually execute the functions offered by those features properly. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of marketing fluff.

Fortunately, the Kyvol Cybovac S31 does what it promises and then some. One of the first features touted by the vacuum is its high suction power. It features up to 3000Pa, which delivers real-world performance just as nicely as it sounds on paper. I threw all kinds of stuff at the vacuum, from hair to an entire spilled bowl of cereal (this wasn't a test, I legitimately dropped a bowl of cereal), and it handled it well.

I should mention that with the cereal, though, it jammed up the dust bin, and I had to empty it manually as the base couldn't manage to suck out the larger clusters of sugary goodness. It's not the end of the world, as the vacuum was still able to clean the mess.

Otherwise, the vacuum handled all of the messes I threw at it, including dog hair. As mentioned, I have a shedding dog with fairly long hair, which can often be a disaster for vacuums, as the hair tends to get wrapped around the brushes. For the most part, the vacuum could deal with the hair, though I did have to take it apart after about 15-20 cleanings to pull some of the hair that got wrapped around out. It wasn't preventing the vacuum from working properly, but I was afraid it might at some point.

Thankfully, Kyvol makes it easy enough to remove the brush and clean it, so it wasn't too much of a pain to get the hair out and make the vacuum look new again.

The vacuum promises 4 hours of max runtime, and in my testing, I got about two or three hours. It was able to clean my entire one-bedroom apartment without running out of power. The apartment is about 700 square feet, and it took about an hour to get through it. It could have easily done a house three or four times bigger without charging.

However, even if it does run out of battery, it's smart enough to head back to the base for a charge. The same goes for the 500ml dustbin: if it fills up, it'll automatically go back to base to empty.

That is, of course, if it's on the same floor as the base. If you bring it upstairs, you'll need to bring it back to the floor with the base manually.

There is support for mapping multiple floors, but the process is a bit of a pain to get up and running. It takes a little more user intervention to get the robot to switch floors, but once you get it all locked in and you get the hang of it, the feature does work (I had to fake it, as my apartment is one floor. I just set the kitchen as a separate floor from the living room to test it out.)

Different Floor Types

The Cybovac S31 can automatically switch between different types of floors, so if you have a blend of carpet and hard floors, you can just send the vacuum to do its thing. It will automatically increase suction power when it senses carpet and drops to slightly lower power when it's on hard floors.

That's what's advertised by Kyvol, and I found that it worked well. As long as you don't have the vacuum set to the highest suction power already, it'll seamlessly switch between the floor types, keeping you from having to intervene.

For climbing onto the carpet, Kyvol says it can climb about 20mm, which should be enough to cover the transition between most carpets and wood floors. If you have a particularly thick carpet and pad, you might have a problem, but it worked well enough in my house.

Smart Home Integration

The Cybovac S31 works with both Amazon Alexa and Google Assistant, so not only can you command your robot vacuum to do all of the manual labor, but you can use your digital personal assistant to relay the message to the robot. It really doesn't get much lazier than that. And I love it.

Jokes aside, I actually did link the vacuum with my Google Home system, but I rarely used it. Most of the time, I either used the app on my phone to send the robot to clean a specific spot, or I used the schedule feature to have it clean at a certain time every few days.

With that said, it does work well. I was able to tell Google Assistant that I'd like my vacuum to get to work, and it did exactly as commanded. Saying, "Hey Google, vacuum my room," caused the robot to venture out from its base and clean. And saying, "Hey Google, charge my vacuum," would cause it to go home.

In the end, the smart home integration is cool, and it's definitely a nice feature to put on the box, but in practice, I just didn't find myself using it very much. While it works as advertised, having more control over the vacuum from within the app was more useful.

Living With the Cybovac S31

The best thing I can say about living with the Kyvol Cybovac S31 is that it doesn't make your life any more difficult. Some other robot vacuums I've tested ended up being more work than just vacuuming the old-fashioned way. I had to spend more time getting the vacuum unstuck from precarious situations than I would have spent pushing my regular vacuum around.

That absolutely wasn't the case here, as the Cybovac S31 has all the features you need to prevent it from going where it shouldn't. You'll need to spend a little time when you first open the vacuum setting up virtual walls and no-go zones, but once that's done, you can simply set the vacuum to clean at a certain time and not worry about it.

The only thing you'll need to worry about is wires. The vacuum will suck wires up, and it won't be happy about it. That's not really a flaw of this particular model, as I don't think any robot vacuum can avoid unexpected wires.

The mopping features leave a little to be desired, and if you really want a robot to do your mopping, you're probably better off getting a dedicated robot mop. Basically, with this device, you attach a small water tank with a mop pad and the vacuum drags it around while it cleans. It'll clean the floors lightly, but if you have any real substantial dirt or stains, it's not going to clean it very well.

With all that said, between the solid suction power, the decent corner clearing thanks to the front brushes, and the autonomous nature with which this vacuum functions, I can say with 100-percent confidence that it makes my life easier, and that's really what you're looking for from a robot vacuum.

This is Just a Killer Robot Vacuum

At the end of the day, the Kyvol Cybovac S31 is just a fantastic robot vacuum. It comes with all the features you'd expect to get from a more expensive iRobot model but for a few hundred dollars less. Is it cheap? Not at all. But when you compare it to similar models that pack in as many features, it's quite reasonable.

The only real drawback is the mopping. Simply dragging a wet pad around the room is not enough to clean actual dirt off the floor. But if you're primarily looking to vacuum with an occasional wet dusting, I can easily recommend the Kyvol Cybobac S31 to do the job. It works well, is relatively quiet, and is smart enough to avoid getting stuck, thanks to its mapping and avoidance features.

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