#Never draw while partially blind from a migraine

[bzlgrmpf]

Working through my art block after accidentally deleting my whole folder of cr fanart

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Dsmp disability/neurodivergence hcs pog

(Obviously all to do with the characters, not the content creators!)

To start with, the characters with disabled/neurodivergent actors have the same disabilities/neurodivergences- George is colourblind, Tubbo is dyslexic, Wilbur is probably autistic, Dream, Techno, Eret, and Karl have ADHD, ect (in case I forgot anyone lol.)

Callahan is entirely mute due to unknown causes. While all of the original eight and a couple more people on the server know sign language, he primarily communicates with writing in the server's group chat.

Ponk is missing three of her limbs- both of her legs entirely and her arm up to the elbow. He has redstone and gold prosthetics in similar colours to his mask.

Fundy's developed some pretty bad anxiety ever since the Final Control Room.

JSchlatt suffered severe substance abuse issues, along with atrophying muscles.

Eret's cloudy white eyes, while mostly stemming from their descendance from ghosts, does leave them with very light sensitive and slightly blurry eyes. That’s another reason he wears sunglasses, apart from hiding his eyes, to reduce the pain of sunlight.

Jack Manifold lost his tail during his second canon death making it very hard for him to balance (I draw him as a wolf hybrid btw before you wonder). After coming back as a hellhound his firey tails do a bit to help but he’s also left with constant minor chronic pain, along with feeling constantly freezing cold despite feeling fever-warm to the touch.

Along with the obvious amnesia, dying in the explosion in El Rapids left Karl partially deaf, which he talks even louder than before to try and compensate.

HBomb has addiction issues with alcohol.

Ever since his revival with the totem, Technoblade's had frequent headaches and hypersensitivity to touches to his head.

Along with his severe allergies to water and amnesia, Ranboo is autistic (mostly because I like him and I WILL self project onto all my faves bby).

Those behind the cut- an extra warning for fairly graphic descriptions of torture, abuse, injury, and death!

Due to Quackity’s torture, Dream is missing an arm above the elbow. He’s also had most of his claws/teeth removed or damaged, making it very hard for him to move or eat. He’s partially blind, due to having an eye ripped out, and is partially deaf due to having an ear torn off in addition to many, many blows to the head.

Tommy's autistic and ADHD (shut up let me project on this character). He’s also got PTSD and depression. His first death in the Final Control Room permanently crippled his leg, requiring him to wear a leg brace, and his second death having an arrow through his skull left him with frequent migraines. The Glasgow Grin I always draw him with after Exile makes it hard for him to eat or speak, and he very frequently pops off the stitches- he carries a needle and thread with him at all times to help with this. It’s also part of the reason he’s so fond of gapples- their healing properties numb the pain when they touch his mouth. After his revival, he’s hyper mobile- with his limbs that were broken in his death bending at weird angles- and has severe chronic pain due to his injuries never healing (meaning he’s got really bad bruises and cuts over all his body). His wings are atrophied and have been from “birth”, being malformed under the heavy feathers and not even enough to glide with.

Tubbo's got burn scars primarily covering his arms and half his face- he raised his arms to block the first firework but the blast almost completely destroyed his arms and the second blast hit the side of his face directly- but cover basically his entire body. They never healed over properly and get damaged or infected very easily. One of his eyes was so badly damaged in the blast it’s completely blind and clouded over. One of his horns was also destroyed to the base, and its incredibly painful when touched. Tubbo's also developed some issues with substance abuse- mostly alcoholism, though at a MUCH lighter level than Schlatt. He’s also obviously got PTSD and anxiety, ect.

Wilbur Soot always struggled with depression and paranoid tendencies, which worsened as the series went on along with the trauma from the Final Control Room. His wings were damaged by his second canon death, leaving one of them so badly damaged he can no longer glide with them. He developed substance abuse issues, mostly with smoking but also vaping and alcohol. One of his arms was destroyed by the blast of L'Manburg, and this carried over to Ghostbur (with Revivebur, its where his arm bleeds and where I draw his mechanical arm). Ghostbur had severe amnesia, in addition.

Quackity is partially blind in one of his eyes, where Techno drove a pickaxe through. It’s clouded over but he can see out of it a bit. The side of his mouth on the same side is paralysed in its position too, due to again having a pickaxe brutally shoved through it. He also has some substance abuse issues- he did found the cartel, after all!

Philza is autistic (am I making the whole sbi family autistic because I’m autistic and I like them? Yes and you can’t stop me). Obviously the explosion damaged his wings- absolutely tottering them, making them unable to fly or even glide along with making every touch to them very painful, though he still refuses to get them amputated even if it’d probably be the wiser decision- it also damaged the side of his face and his destroyed his eye closest to the blast, revealing that under his skin is just a void of stars.

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Infernum | 3: Limbo

[EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING. A LOT OF SENSITIVE MATERIAL IS AHEAD, PLEASE DON'T RISK IT.]

The cold of the caves mixed with the humid air, creating an enchanting conversation of both frigid and boiling. Our feet moved across the wet ground, footfalls slapping against the puddles that were more than stagnant. This place was dark, and gave me a break from the harsh light of the boat we had just exited.

I was drowsy, feeling sleep tug away at the whole of me, but I knew I had to keep going. I had only seen a small piece of hell, and I knew that Hannah had to bear witness to more. I couldn't letter her suffer on my account. I just couldn't.

The thought of her making a deal with a demon for my safety... the area was fuzzy... I was a cop, yes. I loved Hannah, yes. I was scared, yes. But I had never made a deal to keep me from getting killed while I was at work. If she was that desperate for my safety... if she had just talked to me.

"What is this place?" I finally grew enough nerve to ask, my voice echoing off the walls. "Are we still in hell?"

Mamrie chuckled, pulling her aviator jacket tightly around her mid-section. "Just barely breaking the surface, Helbig." She mumbled "we're in the part of Limbo that you people like to call purgatory."

"Purgatory," I sounded out the word in a mimic, earning a nod as she looked towards me, her dark eyes showing nothing but sympathy. Why sympathy? Why in this cooled off place of all? It was only a cave coated in a thick brine of cobwebs. "As in?"

"As in a place souls who haven't had a chance to be born yet go. A place were animals find their essence to be. A place full of saddened memories and... and keep moving, Grace" she tugged at my shirt sleeve a little roughly, pushing me forward as if she was protecting me from something I couldn't exactly see.

A minute ago she could have cared less if I got my throat ripped out by some demon creature, but now... now she seemed just as afraid as I was. "What are you trying to protect?" I knit my eyebrows together.

"Who." Mamrie stopped short in a clearing like area that was sort of in a dome of rock and webs, Mamrie turned towards me, letting out a sigh as she placed her hand on my shoulder "You don't remember much, do you?"

"No," I whispered, she cocked her head to the side, drawing in a breath.

"This is hell. Some things I can try to shield you from. But there are memories... memories you may have to experience for yourself in order to get through this journey." She clenched her jaw, "I'm sorry, Grace. You must see this to get to the next level of hell."

"See what?" I asked my voice hoarse as she placed a palm behind my ear. Her palm stretched across the brawn of my cheek as her thumb came to rest underneath my eye. "I don't understand,"

The edges of my vision began to fade as Mamie pushed me down to my knees. My hands began to feel numb until it moved up to my elbows and began to spread across the rest of my body, until my vision became completely blurred, until darkness covered my senses completely.

"I don't understand," I repeated my words for the hundredth time, my mind not completely registering the situation laid out in front of me. I could feel the hard painful lump begin to form in the back of my throat as tears threatened to climb over the edge of my waterline.

"Ma'am, I'm very sorry it was a problem with the umbilical cord. There was... there was nothing we could do." The doctor mumbled, partially to the floor as she ran her pale fingers over the edge of the clipboard.

"Hannah is she-"I couldn't finish my sentence as I gripped the back of my neck, trying to hold something tangible so I wouldn't lose all sense of reality. Would losing sense of reality be so bad at this point?

"She's fine," The doctor explained, shifting her weight. "She hasn't woken up yet."

"Can I see her?" I asked, knowing I had a slight crazed look in my gaze. But the doctor willingly agreed. Holding my elbow slightly as she guided me towards the back room, through more than one set of doors.

I didn't register much around me. My thoughts were racing, my stomach dropping further and further with each step. Time had somehow fast forwarded, although my thoughts seemed to move on their own accord.

The room was small, dimly lit with a sharp fluorescent glow. I could hear the heart monitor beeping away with each pump of Hannah's heart. I could see the needle's piercing her skin as her blonde hair fell into her fallen eyes. She looked so fragile. So untouched by reality, while I did nothing but swim in the harshness of it.

The doctor quickly excused herself, leaving me alone with the woman I loved. It felt like the soles of my shoes were wet cement, my eyes drooping sadly as I pulled a chair next to Hannah's bed.

My fingers intertwined with hers, my thumb rubbing the back of her hand where the tape from the IV began to peel up from my touch. My head rested on the side of the bed, my eyes clenched hard enough to cause a migraine.

I feel it break then, my resolve... like a glass vase shattering into shards that are scattered across the room when it makes impact with the floor. There is no hope at putting that vase back together. There is no way to find all of the pieces.

Hysterical sobs began to shake my whole frame as I tried to stifle them with my stray hand pressed so hard against my lips that I could taste blood dance across my tongue.

A hand pressed against the small of my back softly as I continued to cry into the sheets. I didn't bother to glance up. I knew that touch all too well. I knew Hannah was looking for answers, and I just had to pull myself together long enough to give them to her.

I sucked in a shaky breath, fast enough to ignite my lungs in a sharp fire as I slowly lifted my face from the sheets. Tears had pressed my hair to my cheeks enough to obscure my vision. I felt Hannah's soft fingers brush it from my sight pattern, but that still didn't fix how blind I felt in a situation like this.

"Grace?" Her voice was choked up, her eyes clouding over as she tightened her grip on my fingers. I could feel her nails in my flesh, creating small crescent stings. I swallowed roughly, shaking my head no as she raised her free hand to her own lips, tears immediately falling from her eyes.

Once again, time moved too fast. I knew I needed her in my arms. I found myself wrapped around her like I was a security blanket as we both sobbed in silence, not knowing how to take the loss of a child we worked so hard to create.

This, I thought, this is hell.

The cold was the first thing I felt again. Perhaps it never left me. Perhaps it was buried just like that memory. There was a reason that it was hidden so heavily among my thoughts, but now? Now it was all spilling out.

We had a child. We were so close to having a child.

Mamrie's touch on the back of my head was the second thing I noticed, her green orbs staring at me with expectancy of an outburst, but tears had already been flowing down my cheeks and dripping off my chin as I looked up at her from my kneeling position. The rock was carving icy grooves within my flesh as I swallowed roughly.

My breath was shallow, my eyes heavy with pain as well as exhaustion. I had no words left in my lungs to expel.

"Come on," Mamrie whispered "I think you need a rest... just not here." She looked around warily as she pulled me to my feet, dragging me along once again.

"Is that..." I finally found the words to speak minutes later "was that real?"

"As real as you and me," Mamrie grumbled.

"That doesn't answer my question."

It sure felt real. Every pain. Every moment my skin was against Hannah's. Every smell, sound, and taste. It all lingered with me like a nightmare. Maybe this was all just one long nightmare.