#Neil from the comic shop

[ultranerdygirl]

Again, can’t fit everyone in but I did my best! Enjoy! :)

[neil-gaiman]

I'm sorry Neil, although I love your writing and agree with your opinions on most subjects I have to disagree with you on the writers' strike. No-one should have a more privileged life as a result of being clever and creative. I worked from the age of 15 to the age of 65 in low-paid jobs, taking 1 year off to go to drama school and 3 years off to get a fine art degree. I worked in terrible but necessary jobs, labouring, stacking boxes, unloading trucks, running errands, filing, going to work on a bicycle at all hours of the day and night on shift work in all kinds of weather. Even when I was a student I was still working in part-time cleani8ng jobs and even during periods of unemployment I worked in volunteer jobs for charities and social services.

According to Mensa I have an IQ of 160 and according to Plymouth University I have a BA hons in Fine Art but I cannot accept the idea that writers and other creative people should avoid normal jobs like driving an "Uber" or working in an office/shop/factory/construction site. To accept that idea would be to create a new aristocratic class when we should abolishing the old princes and aristocrats.

What we need, I feel sure, is a redistribution of labour so that everybody who can do so would spend some time each year in blue collar work and everybody who can would get higher education and a chance to make art of one sort or another.

The idea of doing other jobs to supplement writing or drawing shouldn't be seen as a terrible thing, a punishment or a suffering. Sharing the jobs around should be seen as normal.

I mean, I've done my half century of sweat labour and it didn't hurt me too much. I'm retired now and still making art of various kinds and I've never asked anyone to pay me for any art piece I've made. making art, writing, drawing etc. is the fun stuff which we get to do in exchange for the blue collar stuff which puts food on the table.

The worst pop song ever written was Sting/Dire Straits song "Money for Nothing" which ridicules the working class from a position of educational privilege.

So what's my question? My question is: What's wrong with a writer doing other jobs to make ends meet? Sounds perfectly fine to me.

Nothing's wrong with a writer doing other jobs to make ends meet. Writers and artists have been doing that since the dawn of time. Actors too.

But by the same token, there's nothing right about assuming that writing isn't a blue-collar job, or that writers and other people who make art can only make it for love and that thus they need other jobs to subsidise their craft.

I like living in a world in which the people who make the things that make the world worth living in get paid for their work. For me, that includes the people who make films and TV, books, art and music and comics.

Having spent a lot of time on film and TV sets, it's a blue-collar world on set, and everyone is working long and hard to make the shows you love. I'm never going to suggest that the riggers or the gaffers or the make-up team or the focus-pullers should drive ubers in order to have the privilege of being on the set and working there.

Or to put it another way, from the most blue-collar writer I ever knew...

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Map of Soho Good Omens Season 2 - Part 1 (Location and general map)

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Update: Map now identifies Lucky Snake and the coffee shop listed in Aziraphale's clipboard may indeed be Give Me Coffee I think we all have wondered how the GO Soho looks like and where it would be in real London. So using all the screenshots, BTS pictures and videos I could find I did my best to map out where things are. It is not to scale but everything I could see is there. I originally had all the pictures and explanations in this post but soon it became obvious it was going to be too long and impractical so I had to split it in different posts and I hope I got it right. The map has five reference points (circle with two diverging lines); imagine the circle is you, standing in the set, and the lines are your viewpoint if you were taking a picture from there. The left side of Whickber Street (#1 and #2) is in Part 2, the intersecting street (#3 and #4) is in Part 3 and the right half of Whickber Street (#5) is in Part 4.

As to where the bookshop would be in real London. We know that Whickber Street is supposed to be Berwick Street so let's start there. The intersecting street is not obvious from the show. In this post Neil said he imagines the bookshop to be where Gosh! Comics is (Peter Street) while Michael Ralph and Douglas McKinnon probably put it at The Week (on Broadwick Street). Because it is ambiguous and really you can do whatever you want, I just left it as "intersecting street". We know from the book that Crowley takes Wardour Street after the bookshop fire. Wardour is behind Berwick so in our map it would be where the Chinese Buffet Restaurant is, considering they run more or less parallel. On the other side, we have the Windmill Theatre located on Great Windmill Street. From Berwick St. and Peter St. it takes three minutes to walk to the theatre, it is that close! (yes, I know, Crowley was conducting business two blocks from the bookshop while not talking to Aziraphale for 80 years). I have never been in that part of London so I used Google Maps streetview and based only on that, I like the corner of Berwick St. and Broadwick St. better. It has the crooked intersection but the proximity of the theatre matches Peter St. better, so whatever works better for you!

There is one place missing from the set map though: Brown's World of Carpets! It is nowhere to be found, we simply don't know where it is My very personal headcanon is that it is nothing but a desk inside the furniture store. I find that idea of the guy most worried about storefront looks being the one without a storefront very amusing, but don't mind me, it is just my very silly hc XD Now, we know Aziraphale has a list for the shops he needs to visit. And we know he wrote it in alphabetical order which begs the question: Where is the Dirty Donkey?! Are they not invited? And what about the fabric shop? And Bilton Scaggs? Battye and Palm? The News Agency? Is "Mo Coffee? No Coffee?" supposed to be Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death? Or is there another coffee shop somewhere? @crow-bee23 suggested it could be "Me Coffee" which it is entirely possible, the full name is kind of long. So many questions to ask Mr. Brown.

Anyway, I put pictures and details on the shops in parts 2, 3 and 4. Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[dylanndr]

Sometimes you're digging through an old box and run across a photo of @neil-gaiman from SDCC 1995.

This is especially curious since I wasn't at SDCC in 1995, and have never met Neil Gaiman. I believe this picture was taken by the manager of the comic shop where I worked at the time, and that he'd interviewed Neil for a segment on the comics-themed cable access show he hosted.

Which then reminded me that cable access was a thing once upon a time, and was the functional equivalent of YouTube in the 1990s. Which is to say, you *could* just set up shop if you wanted to, and mostly no one would actually watch your show except for very stoned people who had nothing better to do at 2 AM. But then sometimes well-known authors would grant you a few minutes for an interview because why the heck not, earnestness is to be rewarded from time to time.

[I'm not sure who the other chap in the picture is, but I believe he was a friend of the comic shop manager]

[scorpiussage]

The Robin to My Batman (Neil Lewis/Fem!OC)

Pairing: Neil Lewis/Fem!OC 

Summary: A comic book store opens up next to Gumshoe Video prompting a hot and heavy feud between the two businesses and their nerdy owners. 

Theme: Romance - Enemies to Lovers 

Warnings: Nerds being nerds, smut 

The early morning walks to open Gumshoe Video are always enjoyable for Neil. He loves getting coffee from that family owned Armenian coffee shop down the street, greeting the old man who owns the hardware store across the street, and contemplating what the day’s theme should be. 

However, his gorgeous, peaceful morning comes to a screeching halt as he spots a large moving truck parked in front of Gumshoe— no, parked in front of the vacant store to the left of his. He quickly darts into the alleyway across the street and watches with mounting horror as some—so far unrecognizable—new business moves in. 

“No no no no no,” Neil mutters to himself, already picturing the worst case scenario. What if it’s a competing video store? Or perhaps on of those Christian shops that sells over priced bible themed tchotchkes? Both are miserable possibilities and he has no idea what he’ll do if either of those ends up being the case. 

When the coast is clear of movers, Neil goes sprinting into his store and making a made dash for the phone to call his friends. 

He has a bad feeling about this. 

…

The first time he sees her is at the grand opening of Golden Age Comics, the new comic book store next door. The first thing he sees when he walks in isn’t the life sized cutouts of various comic book characters placed strategically about nor the wall display of rare figurines. 

No, the first thing he sees is her, Bailey Taylor, the owner of the shop. She’s dressed like Wonder Woman, displaying these long shapely legs that have Neil’s jaw going slack in awe. She flutters about the store, greeting customers and advertising the big grand opening sale she’s running. 

Johnathan and Lucien, who came into the store with him, start needling each other excitedly, muttering about how hot she is and Neil can only feel dread. This can only spell bad news, he just knows it. 

Not at all like a coward, he quickly flees the store before she can approach him. 

…

The first time he actually meets Bailey, she comes into his shop. Today Gumshoe is having a deal on westerns and so Neil is dressed accordingly as a cowboy. When she walks into his store, it creates a rather comical juxtaposition as it appears her own store is having a sale on Japanese manga. 

Sailor Moon Bailey and Cowboy Neil stare each other down. 

“Um, hi,” she greets with an awkward little wave, her smile bright despite the uncomfortable mood, “I own the comic book store next door. My name is Bailey.” 

Neil nods stiffly, doing everything in his power to not stare at how hot she looks in that cosplay. When Neil fails to respond, an irritatingly adorable frown mars her features 

“Okay,” she mutters to herself before saying, “Well, I just wanted to see if you’d be willing to do a team-up and have a collaborative sale.” 

Neil scoffs, “And what? Hock old Adam West Batman tapes?”

She perks up and nods enthusiastically, “Yes! Exactly! I actually have this really great id-.”

Neil shudders at the thought and cuts her off before she can get going, “The old Batman show is absolute garbage in its cinematic delivery— no way would I subject my customers to that.” 

The glare she gives him could cut steel and admittedly makes his happy bits stir in interest. 

“Garbage?” She snarls, “That show was a pioneer for superhero media! Just because some over hyped alcoholic wife beater didn’t direct it, doesn’t mean it’s not good!” 

Neil’s eyes narrow at her and he crosses his arms, trying to appear more authoritative than he usually looks, “Oh believe me, the director has nothing to do with the bad editing and poor visual shots!” 

The woman looks like she’s visibly holding herself back from launching herself over the counter and decking Neil in the face. His cock makes another inappropriate twitch at the thought and he internally scolds himself for these reactions. 

Without another word, Bailey storms out of the store and stomps her way back to her own shop and Neil breathes a sigh of relief. 

God, he really needs to get laid if some uneducated comic dork is getting him riled up. 

…

After that disastrous first encounter, a Cold War of sorts settles over the two businesses. If Neil is having a sale, Bailey will have a better one. If Neil does a midnight showing of a movie, Bailey hosts a free-to-join D&D party. If Neil dressed up, Bailey does too but does it better. 

It’s aggravating. 

Neil doesn’t even know what it is about her that has him going absolutely insane, but it’s beginning to be a problem. For instance, last week she dressed up like Cat Woman and strutted about both in and out of her store, placing herself in full view of Neil boredly manning the register of his own shop. He had to go and jerk off in his office like five times; and he was still horny afterwards!

Like he said��� problem. 

And it’s only getting worse. 

“Dude, oh my god! She’s dressed like a school girl today!” Johnathan says while rushing into the shop, a lecherous grin on his face, “Her skirt is so short!” 

Lucien cheers and Neil rams his head onto the surface of the checkout counter repeatedly. 

He’s gonna die horny and infuriated by her subpar taste in cinema, it’s inevitable. 

Lucien just gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaves him to his melancholy while he and Johnathan go next door. 

“Ugh what do I do?!” He laments pathetically to himself. 

…

The second interaction that Neil has with Bailey happens on a slow night for both businesses. 

Neil is parked on the shop couch, watching Lady in the Lake and barely staying awake when she comes into his shop. She’s dressed normal today in a worn Captain Marvel t-shirt and denim shorts and he’s a little too tired to properly hide the slow up and down he gives her. 

A little blush settles on her face when she catches him doing that. 

“Slow night?” She asks after clearing her throat awkwardly. 

“Yeah, you?” 

Bailey blows a raspberry and nods, walking over to the couch and throwing herself down onto it next to Neil. He quickly scoots over, giving her room while trying to smooth his shirt and hair down to look less like a mess. 

“What are we watching?” She asks. 

Things sort of devolve from there. Whether it was one innocent comment taken the wrong way, or an intentional dig, it prompts a fresh new screaming match between the two of them over the cinematic quality of the Adam West Batman series. This woman will not let go of that trash TV series, Neil realizes.

Bailey gets up from the couch at some point, Neil hot on her heels as they move their heated argument about the store. It’s when they’re next to the wall that Neil pushes her against the surface and pins her arms high above her. He’s not thinking when he kisses her, pushing his tongue into her mouth to taste her— he’s running purely on adrenaline and instinct. 

That first kiss they share is not a gentle one; it’s rough and filthy and hot. 

“You are such a brat,” Neil bites out scathingly, his hands slipping away from her wrists to start running over her chest, cupping those perky tits of hers in his hands. 

“You are an obnoxious tool!” She sneers in return, her now free hands making quick work of his belt buckle and the button on his jeans. 

“I can’t believe how terrible your taste is in cinema! A rock would have better opinions!” Neil helps her push his pants down and then reaches forward to yank her shirt off. The bra she’s wearing is just a simple navy colored one but it has him physically biting back a moan at the sight. 

She smirks up at him, then pushes him away with a rough shove, sending him into one of the shelves. She gets into his space, wrapping her arms around his neck and initiating another one of those blood racing kisses. 

He reaches down and grabs her under her thighs, hoisting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He starts walking them back towards his office, fully intent on throwing her down onto his couch in there and getting all this frustration out of his system. 

Sex has always been pretty gentle and by-the-book for Neil, he’s never had a desire to be rough or for a partner to be rough with him, but Bailey makes his head fuzzy. She makes him want to do things he’s never done before. 

“Fuck— Neil!” She gasps when he puts her down and immediately sticks his hand down the front of her shorts and starts rubbing along her slit. It’s so wet and he groans, his cock twitching in anticipation. 

“Can’t wait to shut you up,” he tells her, his long fingers alternating between rubbing vicious circles on her clit and slipping down to enter her with harsh thrusts, “Been thinking about this for weeks.” 

Her fingers scratch lightly across his stomach as she pushes his shirt up, “Well, you’re going to have to do lot better than this to make that happen.” 

His eyes narrow and he pulls his hand out of her shorts, ripping the button open and yanking them down her legs. He grips her around her hips and flips her onto her stomach, climbing onto her legs to keep her from kicking about. 

“I am so sick of that smart mouth,” he tells her before laying a loud slap to her right ass cheek, making her cry out in surprise that dissolves into a moan. He would spank her in earnest, but he’s been so fucking horny for so long that he only gives her a few smacks before slipping his fingers up under the edge of her panties, rubbing the buttery soft skin of her ass. 

Trailing his hands up, he unhooks her bra and climbs off of her so that she can turn over onto her back. She’s quick to shuck off her bra and panties, exposing herself entirely to his hungry gaze. 

“You said you thought about this for weeks,” she remarks while slipping her fingers down to her folds, “How many times did you jerk off to me?”

He groans and goes down to his knees, leaning forward and shouldering his way between her thighs. 

“So many fucking times,” he admits shamelessly before licking into her with enthusiasm.

Her fingers thread through his hair, tugging him forward and using the leverage to grind against his face. He could die here, smothered between those shapely thighs, and it would be in total bliss. Her moans are the sweetest thing he’s ever heard and he endeavors to hear them get louder. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, his fingers returning their journey of entering her and his eyes watching with hooded rapture as her cunt sucks them into her. 

“Neil,” she gasps his name, chanting it like a prayer and he picks up the pace with his fingers. He sucks on that hard little bud of hers and feels her cum around his fingers, that soaking cavern gripping him tightly. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, “please let me fuck you.” 

Her thighs are shaking as she comes down from her orgasm high, “Yes, fuck yes.” 

He doesn’t need any more encouragement— he’s barely got his underwear down before he’s pushing into her. She’s tighter and wetter than any other pussy he’s been in and he tells her as much, rasping filthy things into her ear as he begins a brutal and unrelenting rhythm. 

“Thought about bending you over the front counter and fucking you stupid so many times.” 

Her nails dig into his back, raking along the surface and certainly leaving their mark. 

The thought alone of her marking him could make him cum. He bites his lip harshly to try and wrestle back some control, unwilling to see it end so soon. 

It barely works as his hips stutter in their thrusting. 

“Can I cum in you?” He asks— no, practically begs her.

Her arms snake around his shoulders, tugging his head forward to rest against hers, their mouths finding each other hungrily. Between filthy, tongue filled kisses, she gasps, “Please!” 

Permission granted, he buries himself as deep as possible inside of her, the head of his cock nudging her cervix, and he cums. He groans loud and long as those warm, wet walls squeeze every last drop from his cock, sucking it better than any blow job could manage. 

He pulls out of her slowly and almost reluctantly, sad to part from that perfect cunt of hers. A flow of white cum follows his departure, dripping from her opening and over her ass in thick globs. 

He’s never seen something so sexy in his life and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t get to see it again. 

Stepping back from Bailey, he grabs his shirt off the floor and uses it to wipe her clean, chuckling at the deadpan look she gives him for the effort. Tossing the shirt aside, he climbs onto the couch and lays himself out next to her, pulling her to rest against his chest. 

They lay like that for a long time, catching their breaths and basking in the after glow. 

“You don’t really hate the Adam West Batman series, do you?” Bailey asks, her eyes looking up at Neil imploringly. 

Neil about answers the way he normally would but when he looks down at her and sees the earnest expression she’s wearing, he doesn’t have it in him to be an asshole. 

“No, it’s not that bad,” he lies and feels his heart flutter when she shoots him a beaming smile in return. 

He thinks he can stand mediocre cinema for her sake. 

[dr4c0-r3x]

Danny Phantom x Detective Comics

DP x DC are allows fun to read and write. Here are some of my favorites.

• The Ghost Zone is a higher dimensional plan of existence. (A paperweight from the Ghost Zone is a world destroyer for Earth)

• Danny is next in line for the title of King of the Ghost Zone. (Danny is still half human, so isn't king, yet.)

• To keep himself safe from the GIW, Danny has decided to hind out in the most chaotic city in the world, Gotham. (He figures Batman will immediately note the government agents coming into his city.)

• For enrichment purposes, Danny has decided to stalk the Batfamily in his off time. (This has resulted in him creating videos of the Batfam's antics.)

• Thanks to a few favors, Neil Nightingale is able to open a coffee shop, which does so well that he's able to pay off all of his debts within the month. (Que his first "official" meeting with the Waynes. )

• Maybe a little of Vampire Cass woven in there for a little bit of spice in there. (I found it funny that Cass saw him as "tasty".)

• The family should be investigating the videos and be suspicious of Danny for different reasons. (A bit of duplication should keep them guessing.)

• Finally, Constantine should come to town to stop some nut job cultist from summoning the King of Ghost to their mortal plan. (Imagine all of their faces when the popular coffee shop owner is the Prince of Ghost.)

[colleendoran]

Just a few of the many graphic novel projects I've been privileged to work on with a wide variety of creators and publishers.

Please ask for them at your local comic shop or bookstore!

From Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN, to Stan Lee's autobiography, to Warren Ellis's ORBITER, and even THE VAMPIRE DIARIES with over 300 pages of art and story, your comic shop or local bookstore can order graphic novels which feature works by me to read or share.

My own epic space opera A DISTANT SOIL, the graphic novel GONE TO AMERIKAY based on a song by the Pogues, works adapted from songs by Tori Amos and The Doors, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, LUCIFER and many others.

Support your local bookstore this holiday season! Thank you!

[toddandersonsblog]

the poets at the beach :)

neil wants everyone to wear sunscreen and makes sure to put some on everyone. he makes sandwiches for all his friends :) spends a lot of time enjoying the very fact that he's at the beach and takes in the beauty of the scenery. he and todd probably spend time collecting shells :)

todd is afraid of getting sunburnt because his parents always put a ton of sunscreen on him. he's also quite self-conscious of being only in this swim trunks around everyone. but he takes like a million pictures because he thinks the beach is so pretty :) he gets inspired there, so he wants to capture those moments

charlie runs away from neil, who chases him with the sunscreen, wondering how charlie can run so fast on the sand. he also wears his coolest sunglasses. he loves the beach so much. he splashes everyone (including strangers), which annoys the most of them. he has a water gun to squirt water at cameron under the umbrella. but he's vibing, for real, even though he got sunburnt. he even claims he's made friends with a fish

meeks wants to know the history of the place ("according to this website, people here used to..."). he's bought a disposable camera from a gift shop (probably some of those toys to build sandcastles, too, as a joke. but soon starts to take his building very seriously). and of course, he just appreciates being there around his best friends :)

pitts is the only one who's actually really interested in the history of the place, apart from meeks, of course. he brings a stereo along and a comic book to read, and eats a lot of ice cream, too, hehe. (ginny buries his legs in the sand as he is reading lol)

cameron sits under the umbrella for most of the time because he gets sunburnt very easily. he brings a book along but barely manages to read because he's constantly chatting with someone. he also brings rackets or a ball for them to play in the afternoon when the sun has gone down a bit :)

knox brings his guitar along and strums away as the others are being chaotic in the background. todd probably joins him for a bit, after a while. he drinks a LOT of iced tea/coffee

chris sunbathes while listening to knox play the guitar :) she falls asleep to it and the soothing sound of the waves (I honestly don't know how she manages to sleep with charlie being there, though)

ginny LOVES swimming. after spending literal hours swimming, she plays volleyball with chris (and soon everyone joins) :) she loves to sing, so she makes sure to sing at least one song along with knox

at night, they gather around a fire to tell stories, poems, and songs :) sounds like a great day for the poets!

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

The Gumshoe Is a Girl's Best Friend | Neil Lewis x Reader

Summary | Things have recently changed between them and the tension continues to grow after Neil's relationship with his current girlfriend, Megan, begins to sour. Opening night of Gumshoe Video's first commercial sets the stage for new romance.

Warnings | Arguing, Unhealthy domestic relationships, Cheating, and brief sexual language.

A World Without Love- Peter And Gordon 🎶

Silhouette- Pastel Ghost 🎵

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?- Tyler, The Creator ����

word count: 3510k

Citation for quotes taken from original movie:

Watching the Detectives. Directed by Paul Soter, performances by Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu, 2007.

Not proofread, sorry!

.................................................................................

We were standing in his office in the back of Gumshoe Video, and like usual, we were arguing. 

“There is no way that I’m wearing that!” He pointed menacingly at the blue suit I had bought from the downtown consignment shop. 

“But it goes so well with your eyes!” I argued and thrusted the matching baby blue shirt back into his hands. 

“Listen, listen- hey wait, listen to me!” He backed himself up into the corner of his office and I followed him, holding the pressed suit between my arms. 

“It has ruffles! I’m not wearing ruffles on opening night, Y/N. This is a serious event!” He held out his hands in an effort to stop me but I wrapped the silk bow tie around his neck and poked a finger harshly into his chest. He pressed his back against the wall, his arms crossed protectively around himself. 

“Wear. the. suit. Neil.” I threatened darkly and he gulped, his blue eyes jumping comically from the suit to my face. 

“Fine, damn it! But I am NOT wearing the bowtie.” He snatched the contrasting dark blue suit jacket with its velvet lapel and sighed. 

“Good boy,” I teased with the best doll eyes I could muster and swiped the silk bow tie from around his neck and into my pocket. 

“Yeah, yeah alright.” He waved me off and started to unbutton his shirt, showing the white t-shirt beneath his light green button-down. He paused and looked at me expectantly. 

“Aren’t you gonna leave? I need to change into this ridiculous suit!” He pointed to the door to his office, plated with textured glass. I backed away and shrugged. 

“I wanted to make sure you actually put it on… and besides, it's nothing I haven’t seen before.” I said the latter part of the sentence beneath my breath but somehow Neil still heard it and whipped around.  

“How many times are you going to bring that up before I live it down?” He covered his face and groaned dramatically. 

“As long as I want.” I hurried out of his office and closed the door behind me. I could hear the satisfying sound of clothes as they moved off and on his body. It’s just a joke, I reminded myself, nothing more. It had been a little over two months since he’d called me so late it was almost early morning, to ask me to help him. I was still awake by some stroke of luck and followed his directions: Bring a towel or a blanket, anything, and  Drive to Megan’s (400 Caste Ave). Have the headlights off and stop outside the side door. I’ll meet you there. From the tone of his voice, I knew something was wrong. 

Is everything ok, Neil? I whispered into the receiver. 

Yeah, yeah. I just had a fight with Megan. Everything’s ok, I just couldn’t get a hold of Jonathan or Lucien. I’m sorry…” He sighed against the phone and I nodded, knowing that he couldn’t see me. 

“Alright, I’ll be there soon.” I hung up. 

When I got to 400 Caste Ave, I did as he said. I pulled up to the side of the house without my headlights on and opened the door. A grabbed the robe I had thrown into the passenger seat and jumped out, looking around in the dark for him. I was surprised how easy it was to see him, sitting on the side steps, completely naked. His pale skin stood out like an eerie glow in the dark. 

“Could you throw me that?” He gestured to the robe with one arm, the other lying across his lap to cover himself. I stopped a few feet from him and tossed the robe into his arms. I turned away to give him some privacy until he cleared his throat and followed me back to the car. 

I was 5”3 so the robe was too short on him and ended on his lower thigh. He fiddled with the hem self-consciously as he climbed into the passenger seat. I sat behind the wheel and looked over at him in the dim light of the automatic car light. 

“Did she lock you out of the house? What the hell happened, Neil.” I asked finally and he closed his eyes, nearly smiling from discomfort and embarrassment. 

“It’s not important.” He mumbled, his face bright pink. 

“Not important? You were butt-ass naked! We have to leave your car here and everything.” I laughed in frustration, slapping the worn leather binding of the steering wheel. 

“I’ll deal with everything tomorrow, I promise. I just want to go home. Could you drive me, Y/N?” He laid his head back against the headrest and stared at the ceiling. 

“Ok, Neil.” I cut my eyes away from his face and put the car in reverse, pulling out of the driveway and onto the road. We drove home listening to Billie Holiday, singing the lyrics to Lover Man quietly beneath our breath. When I pulled up to his house, he sighed and pushed the door open, leaning down to speak through the window. 

“I’m sorry again, Y/N. I didn’t want to involve you but I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“It's ok, Neil.” I smiled softly and chuckled as he looked down at himself in the small red robe with white piping along the lapels. 

“This robe is ridiculous by the way. You need a new one.” He picked limply at the short hem, laughing. 

“I’ll consult you on my next purchase.” I rolled my eyes and waved goodbye as he turned back to his house. He retrieved a key from a plastic goose, laying in the front yard and opened the front door. I drove home in light-headed fury. I didn’t like Megan and Neil knew it. She was strange, and though we were all strange in our own ways, she was almost psychopathic. She pulled these stunts on Neil all the time to see he would react and judge how far she could push him the next time. He’d stayed with her through it all because he thought he loved her but she had only ever caused him emotional and physical distress in the moments they spent alone. He refused to leave her, and despite his own flaws, it made him a good man. 

She still poked fun at Neil for that night, mainly for her own amusement, and because that night signified a shift in her. She’d never thought of Neil as anything more than a friend, someone she saw a few times a week and talked to occasionally but hadn’t even known his favorite color (green) or remembered his birthday (May 25). Until that night, they had barely been friends. And since then, they had grown closer with me never being able to get him out of my mind the night I saw him on the steps, his back hunched over his chest and his dark brown hair fluttering in the small gusts of wind. The freckles that dotted his shoulders like shadows from eyelet curtains stuck with me, I’d never been able to let it go. 

But things returned to normal a week or so afterwards. Megan apologized, returning his clothes, keys, and car; and he stayed with her, laughing off whatever deeply-rooted hurt he’d felt from the whole experience. And though we never really talked about that night, we’d grown unspokenly closer in the weeks that followed. 

The shop’s front doors were propped open with milk crates weighed down with old VHS. The air smelled heavy and sour with cheap weed that flooded in dense clouds around the inside of the store. I weaved through the small cliques of people arranged throughout the aisles, holding plastic red cups of liquor and bad wine. I found Megan by the front doors, sitting alone and sipping from her drink. 

“Hi, Megan.” I waved briefly and continued on to Jonathan and Lucien who were perched together on the store’s window seat, entertaining guests. Megan shifted in her plastic seat, her heavy black eyeliner cast a shadow over her eyes, saying nothing. 

“Ah, here she is! Y/N, stylist to the stars.” Jonathan opened his arms, nearly knocking Lucien’s glasses off his face. The circle cheered as I sat down amongst them. 

“Speaking of stylist, I love your outfit!” One friend, Lauren, smiled kindly. 

I looked down at what I was wearing: A black velvet mini dress and a tweed blazer. I had my short hair tied back with a black ribbon and heeled sandals that made me two inches taller at 5”5. 

“Thank you.” I blushed and tucked my hands beneath my knees as the wave of conversation continued. I watched the office door for Neil to emerge, preparing myself for a boy dressed in baby blue, however, I wasn’t prepared when he made his grand entrance. 

“Here he comes now.” Lucien sighed and turned to a woman who was sitting beside him to start another story. 

“Oh my god, THAT is blue.” Jonathan laughed into his palm, his face turning red as he rocked back and forth on the window seat. Neil approached confidently, his hands stretched out to welcome appreciation and applause. I giggled to myself, taken aback by how good he looked even in the outdated prom costume. Megan rolled her eyes and slurped loudly from her drink. 

“What do we think, huh?” Neil did a twirl and flicked the jacket back to show off his shirt. 

“I can’t tell if I'm turned on or if I just really need to sneeze. It probably had decades of dust on that thing.” Lucien grumbled into a handkerchief and everyone laughed. 

“Well, Lucien may be allergic to me but other than that, the reviews seem good.” He raised an eyebrow at me and I started to laugh again. 

“Alright everyone! Thank you so much for being here tonight to see the premier of Gumshoe’s first ever commercial,” he paused for the applause, “I want to thank my closest friends and film crew Lucien, Jonathan, and Y/N for helping me make this wonderful film-er- commercial. Thank you to all of our loyal customers that are here tonight, keeping Gumshoe open. Um,” His voice quivered and he faked emotion, pitching the place between his eyebrows as if he was overcome with emotion, “‘I told myself that I wouldn’t cry. Um,’” he wiped an invisible tear from his eye before turning back to the audience, ‘“no seriously,’” he regained his composure, ‘“I know I can’t compete with the big guys, but as long as I have you guys, my small and loyal following of geeks and weirdos, I know I’ll be alright.’” 

We all cooed and applauded, laughing at his performance. 

“And of course, I need to thank my wonderful girlfriend, Megan, for being my rock through all of this. No one is more… stable and supportive than her.” He smiled awkwardly and cleared his throat after the scattering of applause from the people who knew Megan well. Luciene glanced at me and I returned his suggestive gaze. Megan responded with a small, annoyed smile and checked her flip-phone. 

“Y/N?” He turned quickly with finger guns trained at my chest. 

“Oh right!” I jumped up and retrieved the VHS from behind the counter. Neil switched on the large box tv and inserted the tape into the player. The VHS loaded into the dock and clicked into place, the tape beginning to wind forwards. I returned to my seat and joined in the rest of the room’s applause as the screen blinked. Neil hurried across the couches to Megan and dropped down into the plastic seat beside her, draping an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head against the crook of his shoulder, smiling sweetly. I tore my eyes away and watched the screen as the image appeared. 

It was a film noir and Neil was the disgruntled gangster, fixing his revolver at a man’s chest. His face was dark in the shadows but you could still see the slender cigarette wedged between his teeth like a toothpick. The man, holding a Gumshoe Video tape, ran away comically from Neil and received a clear shot to the back, taking a good few seconds to fall to the dark pavement. Neil restored the gun to the inside of his trench coat and walked around to the front of a dark storefront where I, playing the gangster’s lover, stood expectantly. I was turned away from the camera when he approached. When I turned around, my dark black sequined gown glittered across the screen. The dress was inspired by Marylin Monroe’s Ladies of the Chorus gown, hugging my curves and showing off my whitish-blonde hair. A few whistles escaped from the crowd and I laughed, blushing. Neil stubbed out his cigarette. 

“‘Nice shot, lover. What was that for?’” I asked breathily in my best Monroe voice. 

“‘This was due back last Thursday, and besides, he forgot to rewind.” Neil answered in a silly mock-mafia accent, holding the overdue tape in his hand.The storefront lit up, and the stacks of VHS stood far back in the picture, glowing in black and white. ‘Gumshoe Video’ was visible in large letters across the store’s window, gray instead of bubblegum pink.  

“Say, what’s Gumshoe got for a girl like me?” I strutted over and fixed the popped collar on Neil’s trench coat and he chucked dramatically (the audience laughed). 

“Why darling, Gumshoe’s a girl’s best friend!” He pulled out one more tap from his jacket pocket and gave it to me. Jonathan (the cameraman) zoomed in on the tape’s label Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The camera zoomed out and I squealed and took the tape, clutching it to my chest. 

“‘Gumshoe Video,’” the picture changed into color, “‘if we don’t have it, we’ll hit the pavement looking for it.’” Neil winked at the camera with a thumb’s up. I kissed him on the cheek with my Monroe-red lips and it was caught in the freezeframe at the end of the ad. Everyone applauded, some whistled as Neil jumped back up and acknowledged the crowd once again. 

“Another round-of-applause to my camera man, Jonathan, and my lovely costar, Y/N!” He pointed us out and Jonathan and I took our bows. 

“Thank you everyone for coming out tonight. Have some cheap wine and beer and hang around because we have a very special midnight showing of the 1944 Arsenic and Old Lace.” He waggled his fingers and laughed awkwardly as people started to stand. I watched Megan start to frown deeper on her plastic chair, her arms tightly crossed against her chest. Neil noticed her reaction and started to go over but she bolted from the seat, heading into the back office. He followed her without a word. 

“Do you think it was the kiss?” I asked Lucien and he shrugged. 

“It was a pretty lousy kiss, I doubt it was that.” He fixed his thick glasses. Jonathan leaned over, smiling. 

“I think she’s upset that he cast you at all.” 

“Gee thanks, Jonathan.” I huffed, “it's not fair that she’s upset. He asked her first but she didn’t want to be in the ad. I was the second choice.” I hardened my voice and Jonathan nodded. 

“And thank god she said no.” Lucien laughed dryly, watching as Neil tried to get into his own office in the back room. 

“Filming would have been hell.” Jonathan added below his breath and I held in my laugh. 

They were in Neil’s office for the better part of an hour, Megan yelling and throwing this around the entire time. Their shadows behind the door played out for everyone to see in the store like a puppet show. When midnight neared, Jonathan switched the tapes in the player and I handed out popcorn in large paper bags. Most of the guests stayed, going back to their seats around the tv for the movie. Lucien talked for what felt like fifteen minutes about the film while also smoking on his pipe. Jonathan and I rolled our eyes at most of what he had to say, asserting himself as the real film-expert at Gumshoe Video. 

I heard the office door slam and looked up in time to see Megan leave out the back door. I didn’t see Neil leave his office though his door was wide open. I slipped away from the movie and made my way to Neil’s office with the smoky, textured glass, and knocked lightly on the doorframe. I heard a drawn out sigh before a quiet, “come in.” 

He was sitting at his desk with his head cradled between his arms. I stood by the door, leaning against the inside of the doorframe and waited for him to look up. When he did, his blue eyes found mine, bloodshot and tired. 

“The movie’s starting. Do you want a drink?” I asked. 

“Yeah… yeah.” He nodded. I went to the drink cooler and took out two beers. I set them down on the desk in front of him and beckoned with my free hand. 

“Come on.” I whispered below the movie’s dialogue in the front of the store. 

We went out the backdoor and sat on the cinderblock wall beside the old basketball net. He unbuttoned the top few buttons of his ruffled dress shirt and sighed, taking a long drink from his beer. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked hesitantly. 

“Nah. It doesn’t matter anyway.” He looked over and smiled tiredly. 

“She’s not mad?” I asked, shocked. 

“No, no she’s mad but it's over something stupid.” He looked down at his beer. 

“Is it me?”

He looked at me again and smiled. He chuckled softly before raising the beer to his lips, looking up at the distant sky. 

“Yeah.” Was all he said and I didn’t ask further. 

“The commercial was a big hit, Neil.” I smiled and recounted the compliments I had received from guests. “They think we should make more.” 

“I don’t know if Jonathan would like that.” He laughed. 

“Maybe, but we were good. That’s all that matters.” I smiled over at him and he smiled back, silence falling between us. He looked down at my lips and I exhaled a cloud of crystalized air. He kissed me quickly, catching me off guard. He pulled me closer with his lips and took my jaw with his fingers. I put my hand on his knee, pushing myself into him and taking in his tongue. He pulled away just as quickly as he had started and blushed deeply. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” He shook his head. “I’m drunk.” He stood and stepped away from me, running a head through his hair. 

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry.” He took another step back and rubbed his forehead. 

“It’s ok.” I whispered. 

“No, no. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s OK, Neil.” I stood too and held out my hands like I was calming an animal. He was breathing heavily, his eyes wet from overwhelmed tears. Then he did it again. He rushed to me, dropping his beer bottle and taking my face in his hands. He kissed me deeply and I kissed him back, taking him in. He had the lovely warm scent of manhood that lingered in every corner of his skin. I sighed against his lips and he kissed me slower, more passionately. 

He walked me backwards and held me gently against the cinder block wall. He put his hands around my hips and pushed his pelvis against mine, releasing his lips to rest his forehead against mine. I trailed my hands up his chest, helping them find their way through the patterns in the ruffles. 

“Are you sorry now?” I asked against his lips and I felt him smile against mine. 

“No.” He kissed me again, sucking gently on my tongue. He held my face and turned it as he kissed me, searching for every place of my lips that he hadn’t yet kissed. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, putting most of my weight against the wall behind me. He rutted his hips against me again and I gasped softly, squirming against his body. 

“Wait,” I whispered, “what about Megan?” He opened his eyes and looked down into mine. “What about Megan?” I repeated. 

“We’re done.” His smile was strained as he remembered his last interaction with Megan. “I ended things. I should have done it before and I’m sorry.” He rubbed his nose against mine, breathing softly on my lips. “I-I think I love you, Y/N. I’ve been so confused lately but all I know is that things changed after that night when you saved me. I should have done something then but I didn’t. I think I’ve loved you this whole time.” He shook his head. I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly before pulling away.

“I think I love you too.” I whispered back.  

[tallerthantale]

I think it's time to stop fixating on arguments with the active Good Omens fandom.

Yes, the efforts to keep Good Omens 3 that don't mention the allegations are immensely frustrating. But I don't think it's coming from people who disbelieve the allegations or don't care about them. I think it's coming from people who are taking it for granted that Good Omens 3 won't happen with Gaiman attached beyond IP holder. They think the only two possibilities are Gaiman removed as far as possible or outright cancellation. From their perspective it doesn't seem necessary to mention the allegations, they think Gaiman is already a full blown pariah who's career is in shambles.

That is not how these things work. The allegations still don't have widespread media attention, and he still has countless ongoing publishing deals. The bubbles we are in are very aware of the allegations, but those bubbles are largely made up of people who are terminally online. The wider world is still broadly unaware.

While I would prefer it if efforts to salvage Good Omens 3 consistently made their support explicitly contingent on Neil Gaiman's public sacking, I think there are more productive uses of time and energy then getting into flame wars about it. Overwhelmingly the Good Omens fandom is onboard with efforts to metaphorically launch Neil Gaiman into the sun. They are more allies than adversaries. Let them have spaces to keep talking about their blorbos, don't go into those spaces to accuse them of not believing the allegations or not caring about SA survivors.

Gaiman's ability to maintain wealth, power, and influence is far more connected to his public appearances and publishing deals than it is to a show's fandom that already wants him axed (but forgets that they still have to say that because they think it's obvious.) I don't like the organized 'stream the show more' efforts, but the IP residuals off of additional streamed views are typically very small compared to book sales.

If the goal is to take down Neil Gaiman's ability to use his career to access victims, the primary objective is shutting down public appearances. No convention appearances, no teaching workshops, no book signing events, no speaking engagements. I don't think those sorts of things are likely in the near future, as the current PR strategy looks like an attempt to lay low and avoid the Streisand effect. However, if things do start blowing over in the future, public appearances might start creeping back, and they can be met with in person protest.

The next objective IMO is no new TV / movie deals, no new publishing deals. The general public scandal will suppress new deals for a while, but it won't hold up if the story is only circulated in the fringes and then forgotten about. The methods of raising awareness need to focus on bringing the message to people who haven't heard about the allegations yet, and that's going to mean going real world about it. Leave stickers on power line poles, on bus stop shelters, on bookshop shelves, on shopping carts / trollies. Ask your local news media to cover the story.

The challenge target if those main objectives hold is cancelling current publishing deals. That won't just be about calling on publishers to drop Neil Gaiman, it will also be about calling on people to stop buying his work, so that the publishers have a capitalist justification for dropping him. Always remember, you are not appealing to their better nature, you are appealing to a spread sheet.

The target audience for the 'stop buying NG books and comic books' message is people who haven't heard about the allegations yet. It is not the terminally online wing of the Good Omens fandom, which is already in favor of not purchasing from him.

Current publishing deals are not an easy target. Boycotting efforts are notoriously difficult to organize effectively, and there are plenty of objectively terrible people widely known as such who still get published. Some thoughts I have on it are starting with foreign language publishers in regions where Gaiman isn't as commercially successful, or seeing if local book stores are open to not purchasing more of his books. Keep in mind though, as with any boycotting push, you are asking the most vulnerable people to make the biggest sacrifice. A locally owned small bookshop has the most to lose by not stocking a popular author. Stay kind and respectful.

Edit Note: A previous version of this mentioned a specific user. They have asked to be removed from the post.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

HERE I'VE BEEN MEANING TO SHARE THIS, for those of you have not read the Good Omens book (you should) or skipped the authors' notes on each other (go back and read them!!), I want you to read Sir Terry Pratchett's words on @neil-gaiman's writing.

"Well, he's no genius. He's better than that. He's not a wizard, in other words, but a conjurer.

Wizards don't have to work. They have their hands, and the magic happens. But conjurers, now... conjurers work very hard. They spend a lot of time in their youth watching, very carefully, the best conjurers of their day. They seek out old books of trickery and, being natural conjurers, read everything else as well, because history itself is just a magic show. They observe the way people think, and the many ways in which they don't. They learn the subtle use of springs, and how to open mighty temple doors at a touch, and how to make the trumpets sound.

And they take centre stage and amaze you with flags of all nations and smoke and mirrors, and you cry: 'Amazing! How does he do it? What happened? (...)'

And in the back row we, the other conjurers, say quietly: 'Well done. Isn't that a variant of the Prague Levitating Sock? Wasn't that Pasqual's Spirit Mirror, where the girl isn't really there? But where the hell did that flaming sword come from?'

And we wonder if there may be such a thing as wizardry, after all...

(...) I remember on one US Good Omens tour walking round a comics shop. (...) I wandered around the shelves looking at the opposition. That's when I realised he was good. There's a delicacy of touch, a subtle scapel, which is the hallmark of his work.

And when I heard the premise of American Gods I wanted to read it so much that I could taste it... When I read Coraline, I saw it as an exquisitely drawn animation; if I close my eyes I can see how the house looks, or the special dolls' picnic. No wonder he writes scripts now.

Have fun. We did. We never thought about the money until it went for auction and the big numbers started to get phoned in. Guess which one of us was amazingly cool about that. Hint: It wasn't me."

(I apologise for any typos that might have crept in at this point I don't know what I'm doing BUT GO READ THE GOOD OMENS BOOK IF YOU LOVED THE SHOW YOU'LL LOVE THE BOOK TOO HEHE)

[noneorother]

What do Shax and a 30-year-old Sandman comic have in common? Puns. The answer is always puns.

While I've recently revealed Shax does actually know how to spell, (she's just really old), the "angle" message Shax throws through the window to demand the "angel" one was a little trickier, because it's not Middle English, or even Old French, it's probably the oldest pun in Good Omens... it's latin.

Good Omens Season 2, Episode 5, 2023

Fortunately, a time travelling Neil Gaiman left answers for us in his 1995 Sandman special "Sandman midnight theatre." See for yourself.

Sandman Midnight Theatre, Neil Gaiman, Matt Wagner, Teddy Kristiansen, 1995

"Still, they have some illuminated manuscripts in their library which throw fascinating light on early church history. "Not angels, but angles" eh? I've been angling for permission to browse through their manuscript collection for yonks."

Appropriate for an English reverend to be curious about "Angels and not Angles". It's THE earliest christian pun, attributed to Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th century CE.

Oxford reference essential quotations

It comes from a historical account of the pope walking through a market in Rome, and seeing some exotic slave children (i.e. fair hair and blue eyes, and light skin) from what is now the England, and asking where they were from. The master replied that they were "Angles" (Angli in latin) and the pope declared them to be "Angels" (Angeli) instead, which, in latin at that time would have been a pun. This history from Bede actually influenced a lot of the christian world, so we could conceivably make the point that fair blonde and blue eyed angels comes from the idea that they looked liked the English (who were not christian, but pagan at the time of being newly conquered). Aziraphale's looks in the originsl Good Omens are probably a direct result of the lineage in art of this 1,500 year old pun.

Depictions of angels, 1100 years apart Which raises the question: if Shax is asking for the Angel Gabriel with her note, the pun doesn't make any fucking sense.

Jon Hamm plays Gabriel as an "American", specifically not English like the rest of the cast. He does have blue eyes, but as far as Shax is concerned, Gabriel's eyes are violet, not really a human colour. Shax could just actually be stupid (I guess?) and not realize that in modern English that constitutes a mistake (boring), or that Americans succeeded in 1776 (hilarious). But here's a quirkier theory: Shax knows what she's talking about, and she's gunning for Maggie. If you look really closely, demons show up and start hanging around the street earlier in the ball than you would guess. Once a fair number have amassed, they stay waiting for Shax to lead them. However, even though she hasn't shown up yet, they eagerly chase Maggie down the street from her shop. They're only stopped by Crowley, and Maggie gets safely into the ball.

Once inside, she has quite a stunning change of costume, highlighting her blonde hair and blue eyes:

There's so much more evidence to suggest that Maggie isn't really a normal human, but this post is long enough. What I will say is that it's subtle, but once the demon attack really gets going (no thanks to Maggie), Shax and the other demons never look for Jim once, even when he leaves the mezzanine. They concentrate all their efforts on Aziraphale, Maggie and Nina, and never mention Gabriel again.

While Maggie is a Scottish name, and she clearly has some links to Scotland if a random pub in Edinburgh is buying records from her in Soho, she does have a distinctly English accent, and lest we forget...

———————————————

thanks as always to @embracing-the-ineffable and @thebluestgreen for the tasty links and sounding board.

[neil-gaiman]

Sandman Volume 1 is for sale on Amazon for over half off, at $14.68. That's the first three Sandman books in one volume for less than the cost of one of them. Obviously I would prefer that you bought your copy from a local bookstore or comic shop. And just as obviously, some of you are on tight budgets and will be glad to know this is happening right now.

[sorencd]

TWO OF US

pairing: neil perry x f!reader

summary: it's both your first time baking cupcakes, how hard could it be?

word count: 1.7k

a/n: i had fun with this one ehrhhr I JUST LOVR NEILD SO MUCHWRHRHRHDH

masterlist

the sounds of pages flipping in the room could be heard. you were lazily draped on top of neil, your stomach resting on his legs as you laid down horizontally and he was sat up right vertically—putting you two in a cross-like position. it was a rather boring day, the only thing keeping you occupied was your latest issue of 'little archie' while neil was busying himself with a book he took from your shelf. 

you placed your comic book down to your right as rested your cheek on the bed, taking a good look at neil. he could sense your eyes on him while he was reading so he took his attention off the book to check if you indeed were staring at him. neil smiled as you made eye contact.

"is there something on your mind?" he probed, reaching over to you on poke your side. effectively making you shriek and flinch away. 

you whined at him and rolled over, now facing the ceiling. "neil, i'm bored." you complained as you racked your brain for things to do with your boyfriend. you already went to the park, the library, the beach, his dorm, the children's playground, the theatres, the record shop, restaurants, everywhere. you two have already gone to every place under the sun for a date. 

"what do you want to do?" he asked, gently placing his hand on your stomach to draw light circles on it.

you turned your head to the left to stare at your bookcase this time, inspecting the titles of each book that was on display. as you were about to reach the last bottom shelf, you noticed a title that caught your eye. 'baking for beginners', it was the cookbook that your mom gave you a few years ago. she was trying to get you into baking but you refused─ saying that it was boring and you were pretty sure you'd just burn anything you put into the oven. but now that you're with neil, maybe things would be different.

you lifted yourself up onto the bed and focused your attention on him once more, who was staring at you the whole time with a grin on his face and watched you do your thing as you went deep into thought.

"what's on your mind, sweetheart?" 

"let's bake cupcakes." you stated with a bounce in your tone and a smile on your face. "some sweet delicious, scrumptious, tasty vanilla cupcakes!"

neil raised his eyebrows as he looked at you with a questioning expression, "you know how to bake?"

"no… but i do have a cook book right here! it can't be that hard to follow instructions." you confidently exclaimed as you got out of bed to grab the cook book.

neil scooted onto the foot of the bed to get closer to you as he watched you kneel down to grab the book, he propped his chin on his hand that was being supported by his knee. "that sounds pretty similar to what you said when we went hiking."

"yeah, and we turned out fine!"

"we got lost." he smirked and crossed his arms. "it took us two hours to get through the forrest." in your defense, the map looked the same even when you turned it upside down and you couldn't tell the difference. it wasn't until neil noticed that the compass which was written on the corner of the map didn't look right, and only then were you two able to find the right path.

"that's not important! we do not speak of such irrelevant matters! besides, we got to the end of the trail at the end of the day!" you tutted and reasoned, ignoring the fact that you two could've gone lost forever. at least you had each other though.

he laughed heartily and set the book he had in his hands onto your bedside table to stand up from your bed, "alright, let's bake some cupcakes."

on your way to the kitchen, you passed the living room where your dad was watching television while your mom ironed his work clothes for the next day, eyeing the two of you.

"mr. and mrs. (y/l/n)." neil politely greeted as he tried bowing while you were hurriedly pulling on his arm. 

"where are you two off to?" your father asked sternly, but still had a loving tone to his voice. you were used to his way of talking to you. he might sound harsh, but he really just deeply cares for you.

"we're going to bake cupcakes!" you shouted back, quickly disappearing into their line of sight. you heard your mom chuckle and respond, "please take care of her, neil!" which you rolled your eyes to.

after you both entered the kitchen, you pulled out two aprons from the cabinets and handed one to neil. while helping you put yours on, you were looking at the ingredients needed for the cupcakes. you had all of them, of course. since your mother was big on cooking and cutlery.

"so it says here to.. preheat the oven to 375°f. how do you heat up an oven?" you diverted your attention from your cook book to stare at your boyfriend with a sheepish look. maybe this wasn't easy as you thought.

he chuckled at your question, walking to where the oven was and maneuvered the knob that was on the control panel. "you turn it on like this to heat it up." he demonstrated.

"i knew that."

"of course. just wanted to make sure that you still do." he gently smiled, giving into your delusions. you snickered and you both got to work with him greasing the muffin cups and you sifting the cake flour and baking powder together. when he finished greasing, he went to your side to help you out.

neil started cracking the eggs into the bowl so he could add the butter, milk, and vanilla together as instructed in the recipe but not without telling a horrendous egg pun when he tilted his head to where you stood. you had a focused expression on your face which he thought was cute, but, he noticed that it also had an excessive amount of cake flour. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion─ how could you sift flour that messily? he watched as you roughly shook the sifter side to side, resulting in the cake flour going almost everywhere.

you raised your head as you heard neil's laughing, who was standing next to you.

"what's wrong?" you paused, setting down the sifter.

your boyfriend continued laughing, the air continued to be filled by intimacy and amour. "there's a bit of something on you." he exclaimed as he reached over to wipe it off, "the flour is supposed to go into the bowl, love." 

while neil was dusting your cheeks though, you felt a slimy texture spread across your jaw.

"is your hand wet?" you quipped, moving your face away to gently grab his wrist. it had traces of egg white on it, and most of it was on you.

you hurriedly grabbed a paper towel to remove the egg whites with a laugh, "EW EW EW!" you shoutted, trying to get the substance off of your cheeks. and instead of helping you, he laughed even louder.

"are you trying to make cake on my face instead?!"

"i didn't know i had eggs on my hands!"

"you did that on purpose! under the guise that you were doing something sweet for me... i trusted you, the love of my life..." you over dramatically exclaimed and turned your head to the side, putting on the facade that you were hurt.

he waved his hands defensively, desperately trying to clear his name and that he truly only wanted to clean your face up. maybe. "no! i would never do something as vile and cruel as smearing egg whites onto your beautiful face! believe me, my fair one!" he said while suppressing down the smile that was so close to getting out, trying to maintin his serious act while raising his still-egg-white tainted hand in the air.

you two shared a laugh, neil quickly washing his hands to help you clean your face since you were still trying to wipe away the gooey substance. and to your surprise while he was washing you up, he put your face into his hands and cupped each of your cheeks, giving them a gentle squeeze. before you could ask him what he was doing, he leaned in to kiss you. in return, when he pulled away, you took a hold of his face as well. with your hands still dusted of cake flour and kissed him again, you had a cheeky look on your face after what you accomplished. 

“now you’re messy as well.”

"that's alright, i could be messy for an entire decade and i wouldn't mind. as long as i get to be messy with you."

you lightly shoved him, scrunching your nose as you laughed at his remark. you felt like there were butterflies in your stomach, you wanted to kick your feet in the air and gush about all this to your friends. neil was the only one who could make you feel that way. "you're so lame, like really lame. that was so lame of you. i like it though."

"i love you too." his lips curled into a broad grin and continued to help you clear each other off. as soon as he was done, neil put the bowl with the dry and wet ingredients side by side and faced you. 

“so what’s next master chef?”

“it says here to mix these two together then put them in the muffin cups.”

“okay, should be easy enough.”

he lifted the bowl with the wet ingredients and slowly poured it into the other bowl, you saw that the wet ingredients weren’t going down quicker as you expected. 

“is it supposed to be… that super thick?” you worryingly asked, fearing that you two did something wrong. how could you mess up baking cupcakes?

“no.. i don’t think so. maybe you should add more milk.” he proposed, setting down the bowl and handing you the carton of milk. he grabbed the wooden spoon as you added the milk into bowl and stirred, also adding the dry ingredients in.

“i think i added too much milk.” you admitted, the mixture was now too runny. it was supposed to be just the right amount of thick.

“try adding more flour.”

you followed neil’s suggested and lifted the cake flour box, it was lighter than you expected. there wasn’t much flour left, since almost half of its contents went to your face. but it’ll have to do. 

“now its too thick again.” you deadpanned as you shook your head, “i’ll just add a bit more milk..”

when neil finished stirring, you poured the finished batter onto the muffin cups and he placed the tray of soon-to-be cupcakes into the oven before setting the timer. you both sighed in relief and felt fulfilled, since you two saved the cupcake batter you almost screwed up.

 neil decided to play around with your small dog that entered the kitchen a few minutes earlier when he heard the commotion, and you made a little snack out of the excess batter. obviously, you took pictures as he did. the two most adorable boys you loved in the world together, a sight to behold.

when you heard the timer ring, you took a pair of mittens from the drawer and gave them to neil, letting him take the cupcakes out. the sweet fresh aroma the cupcakes gave off filled the kitchen air, the scent of vanilla making you salivate just from its fragrance.

“these look delicious!” neil cheered with a puppy grin on his lips, happily setting down the tray onto the counter top to let it cool.

“ah shoot! we forgot to make the frosting!”

“it’s alright my love, we can just enjoy it as it is.” 

the two of you munched down on the cupcakes as soon as they cooled, even offering some to your parents. it wasn’t too bad for your first time, they weren’t perfect either. but it’s something you and neil made together, and that alone makes you happy.

“we should do this again.” he suggested, finishing off the last crumb of his cupcake that he was eating. 

“definitely. let's bake a cake.”

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[knoxoverstreetluvr]

the boys at their annual secret santa gift exchange hcs:

disclaimer 1: hints at Anderperry and Knarlie, and the boys are still at Welton.

disclaimer 2: references to my prior list of how I write the boys.

req by @eldermckinleyshelldream

- - -

the basics:

- They draw for names like way too close to Christmas… probably like the 20th. Meeks always begs to do it in the start of December but Charlie always shuts him down.

- It’s always held in Neil and Todd’s dorm room, one time Todd was sick with the flu and the boys still insisted on having it in their room to not break tradition. All 7 of them ended up with the flu the next day, and locked themselves yet again in Neil and Todd’s room.

- They all ride their bikes into town and just part ways in the middle of town to go shop.

- The wrapping is always horrible. The best wrappers are Pitts and Cameron, everyone else is well…. they just “don’t apply themselves” as Pitts says.

the drawing:

- Neil pulls Todd’s name (shocker), for the second year in a row. Nobody knows how Neil does it, except for Charlie but that secret goes to the grave.

- Todd pulls Meeks. They’re not the closest of The Poets, so Todd has to do some major stalking of Meeks’ Pinterest.

- Charlie pulls Cameron. A very audible groan is the clue to everyone except Cameron himself on who Charlie got.

- Knox being the lucky loverboy he is, got Charlie. He crossed his fingers as he was drawing, so that’s what he blames to be the culprit.

- Meeks got Pitts. The idea that he could even have to shop for anyone else is a daring feat so he lucked out. Seeing as last year he bought Knox a sweater that was too small and had to be given to Todd before the week was over, Meeks blesses the Gods above for pulling his best friend.

- Pitts got Knox. The very much Jewish Pitts pulling one of his best friends since the 3rd grade got a self given pat on the back from Gerard.

- Cameron got Neil. Every year this tradition has happened, Cameron has gotten lucky to not have to shop for Neil, whom is very particular. Now Cameron has to make major guesses on what Neil would and wouldn’t like.

neil perry:

- He has been brainstorming this for months, despite not knowing who he was gonna draw. (wink wink)

- When they get to town, he immediately runs to the craft store. He wanted to get him engraved ink pens for his writing.

- Neil has also been practicing how to make mix tapes for Todd. Mixes all of Todd’s favorite artists and songs and then doodles little pictures of two boys holding hands on the front of the CD.

- Wraps the gifts very messily. While he was at the craft store he bought washi tape, which barely held the wrapping paper together.

- Hands it to Todd at the exchange and both boys are a blushing MESS. The other poets are just smiling with love at the pair.

- When everyone leaves for the night, Todd immediately puts his new CD in his CD player. He then lays in Neil’s arms while they have little irrelevant conversations with each other, but they love it either way.

Todd Anderson:

- Already has Meeks’ Pinterest up, which it mainly consists of Star Wars things, so that’s at least a start.

- In town, there’s a cute little mom and pop thrift shop that Neil introduced him to, so Todd runs there.

- He does happen to run into Knox when he’s there, but they both pretend to not see each other.

- Immediately spots a very vintage Star Wars comic book, alongside an equally vintage Darth Vader figurine.

- Todd then goes to the craft store to buy a shadowbox for the book and figurine, knowing full well Steven Meeks will never use his hands to touch the things, claiming that they’re too precious to be touched by a mortal soul.

- Places the things in the shadowbox then wraps it and puts a sweet hand written note on the top.

- When Meeks opens the box, he IMMEDIATELY lunges at Todd for a hug, much to the dismay of Neil.

- Meeks also immediately hangs it in his dorm room, even after Gerard Pitts, certified Star Trek fan, begs him not to.

Charlie Dalton:

- Much to Charlie’s dismay, he was greeted with Cameron’s name at the name draw.

- There were 2 ways Charlie could play this game. 1. Be nice and gift Cameron a good present, or 2. Give him a gift he won’t want.

- As a compromise he picked both.

- Starts off with the nice gift or well the “serious” gift because in Charlie’s opinion both of the gifts are nice

- Cameron has really been in his Harry Potter era lately, solely for the purpose that he enjoys the Weasley Family.

- So Charlie goes to the toy store and picks out a Hogwarts Lego set.

- After grabbing the Lego set, he immediately turns to the prank section of the store.

- Grabs the first thing he sees which so happens to be a fake pile of dog crap.

- Charlie wraps the Legos and unboxes the fake dog crap and puts it in a bag.

- At the exchange, Charlie pre-hid the Legos in Neil’s closet, and just handed Cameron the crap.

- To say he was gobsmacked was a major understatement.

- After the initial giggles from the poets subsided, Charlie gave Cameron the ACTUAL gift.

- Cameron was so touched and spent the rest of the night on the floor putting the Legos together.

Knox Overstreet:

- One thing about Knox Overstreet is that he loves a gift exchange.

- Will very much go all out especially since it’s Charlie.

- He can never settle on a present, he needs it to be absolutely perfect for Charlie.

- Knox hit up approximately every store in town, occasionally running into another poet and having to cover his eyes in the process.

- A new music store had opened downtown, and Knox figured the place would be his last hope.

- Charlie had been on a huge music kick recently, claiming that when he graduated from Welton he wanted to be a musician.

- Charlie already had many a basic staple instrument, including a pair of bongos, a clarinet, a small keyboard he had in the corner of his dorm, and of course his saxophone.

- The last instrument Charlie needed, that he had recently voiced his interest in learning was the guitar.

- So that’s exactly what Knox bought him.

- Yes it was a bit pricey, but the sweet smile Charlie Dalton would give him was all the payment back he needed.

- The night came for the exchange and Knox was very nervous.

- When Charlie unwrapped the gift and saw the shiny new wood of a beautiful guitar, his usual smirk dropped and was replaced with a smile.

- Knox was blushing furiously and Charlie just smiled at him, they always knew how to make everyone else in the room feel all soft and mushy with their sweet quiet love.

Steven Meeks:

- When he pulled for Pitts, he immediately knew what to get him.

- Recently, Pitts had told them the stories about his old pet turtle named Leo.

- So what better to get him than a new pet turtle that could live in the dorms.

- The adults at the school would probably not like an animal in the dorms, but nothing the sweet talking of Top of the class Steven Meeks couldn’t do.

- Steven spent a great chunk of time studying the turtles up for grabs at the pet store.

- Most of them were a bit fiesty looking, but Gerard always talked fondly of how Leo was a cuddly little thing.

- In the back of an enclosure was a quiet turtle, eating lettuce far away from the others.

- Steven immediately bought that one.

- Along with it, an enclosure and a mini teenage mutant ninja turtle figurine for inside.

- Keeping a living breathing thing away from his best friend was very hard, but the look on his face when he opened it was priceless.

- Pitts set the turtle immediately dubbed “Donnie” on the floor of Neil and Todd’s room and watched as he meandered around.

- A swift slap on the back was rewarded to Meeks as Pitts scooped up Donnie and pet his hard-shelled back.

Gerard Pitts:

- Knox was probably if not THE hardest to shop for of the poets.

- Being the only son of a rich family meant that he usually got whatever he asked for. He also just doesn’t enjoy material things, so IF he ever asked for anything from his parents they got it.

- So Gerard was a tiny bit screwed.

- But Gerard was also observant, so shopping for Knox wasn’t all that hard for him.

- He also knew that Knox was a lover of clothes. Sweaters upon sweaters filled his closet, so what’s another one to the collection.

- But not just any sweater, this one was special.

- In a small boutique downtown sat the cuddliest sweater.

- That sweater happened to be Red, aka Charles Dalton’s favorite color, and adorning the front was the number 17. Which happened to be Charlie’s birthdate AND soccer number.

- Pitts bought the last one in Knox’s size, and bought a fancy wrapped paper in the same red.

- Pitts spends a long time wrapping the present beautifully only for Knox to rip it up.

- His previously beat red face turns beat red again, clutching the sweater to his chest as Charlie tries to peak over and see the front.

- Pitts is giggling the whole time along with Meeks, who already knew who the present was for.

Richard Cameron:

- What does Cameron know about Neil? Next to nothing.

- When he saw Neil’s messy scrawl on the paper, he deflated. I mean Charlie would be easiest, they lived together.

- So Richie boy was screwed a bit, what could this boy want.

- The only thing Richard knew about Neil was that he liked acting, and plays.

- Richard sat on a bench in the middle of town for approximately 45 minutes.

- Then an epiphany came over him…. a Camcorder.

- Why? Because how else is Neil gonna record his audition tapes for movies and acting roles.

- He bought the first one he saw and wrapped it swiftly, because if he thought about it anymore his head might implode.

- The day of the exchange, Neil was a bit scared when Cameron was the one who handed him a box, but when the note on the top saying “for your future gigs.” Neil immediately ripped into the paper.

- Finding a camcorder a soft “Thank You Cameron”, was given.

- Richard Cameron felt a bit lighter after that, but he does not want Neil again next year.

[forfoxessake]

NEW interview with Neil Sabatino from Pencey Prep + Paranoid Gardens collab.

Here's the full interview (pictures in the article are not working for me)

They mention that all their Pencey Prep releases are sold out but the cassette is still available for $11.99 (LINK)

Neil shared the pin-up art available on the first edition of Paranoid Gardens on his art Instagram:

Here’s part of my pinup that’s in #paranoidgardens 1 available from @darkhorsecomics and a bunch of unused versions and sketches based on @gerardway & #shaunsimons characters and @westonfront ‘s great designs. I have one more pinup in a future issue but this one is on out now at your local comic shop!