#Nearly done the challenge! I'm so proud of myself.

[hear-feel-think]

FfxivWrite 2022 | #29 - Fuse

Rating: G

The Crystal Exarch ponders his past, present, and future

----------

He was alone in the ocular. The door was locked securely, and Lyna stood guard outside. He took his hood down, since he had a moment to himself. His ears popped up, stiff from being pressed down under the heavy hood for so long. He stretched and flicked his ears to clear away the feeling. The mirror reflected his image, and he stepped closer. The Crystarium residents said he still looked as young as the day he arrived, but he could tell the difference. He pulled at the bags under his eyes. Male Mystel always looked like their eye bags were deeper than they were, thanks to their facial markings, but even so his had gotten quite bad. His hair, too, showed signs of age, though it was the dulling of his once-bright red that gave it away, not the obvious greying at the tips. Aging hair went grey from the roots. This was a product of his pact with the Crystal Tower.

When he drew from the Crystal Tower, the tower drew from him. It took a little bit of his corporeal aether, though it was kind enough to replace it with a part of itself and not leave him missing that bit entirely. Well, not kind per se. It was kind in the way the wind was kind enough to fill the sails of a boat or the rain was kind enough to water the flowers. It was a force of nature, or rather of Allag, and any benefit he gained from its operation was either coincidental or of his own design. Each time he cast a spell using the Tower, he felt its pull in his extremities, sapping him of his aether. It lifted his hair, pulling out the colour a fraction of an ilm at a time. Its power flowed through him, through his staff, and into the spell. But his own aether flowed out through his arm, mingling with the spell, leaving a little more crystal behind each time.

Some spells took little out of him, but others, like the one he used to call upon the soul of the Warrior of Light, took nearly all he had. Between the recovery period and the research he needed to do to be a little more sure he would summon the right person, he could only cast that one again after a period of several months. He only hoped he could get it right before the crystal overtook him completely. He could picture it, one day, the crystal growing up his legs joining to the floor of the ocular. Maybe it would cover his whole body then. Or maybe he would remain conscious for a time, able to say goodbye and try one last time to summon the hero and save the world before he fused with the tower forever.

He shook his head. Maybe today was the day he cast his last spell. Probably it wasn't. But he had regained his strength after the last attempt, and he had studied hard, so there was nothing left to do but clear his mind and try one more time. He covered himself with his hood. The hero must not know his true identity.

The Crystal Exarch raised his staff and extended his hand towards the portal, drawing aether from the tower once more. "Let expanse contract, eon become instant!"

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[dfroggofarson]

i wrote a oneshot about a hot NPC dilf. its 1600+ words. i'm really proud of myself.

when i was doing this quest, i had to come to the realization that i, in fact, do have some daddy issues. and that i have no idea of their origins, but so be it.

the more daddies for my perverted imagination, the better my day is.

if you haven't done the Golden Slumber world quest so far, i highly recommend it! it's long and sometimes annoying, but man, anything for hot dilfs (and their also hot daughters).

ok, that's all, i'm done simping. requests for other stories are open, as always.

fluff, comfort embedded. no smut for y'all horny ppl. sorry, not this time ;)

enjoy! ^^

A difference between sky and sky.

A night in the desert wasn't a joke to anyone. It was rough, cold and merciless, killing anyone that missed to take care of themselves. Most mobile creatures had already found a shelter as soon as the Sun started to dive into the treshold of the horizont, hiding itself behind the gold of endless dunes. No matter if it were just animals, people, or monsters - survival made everyone behave similarly.

That night wasn't anything different than the previous ones. You and your two companions have been traveling for two days - for the fifth time. You commisioned them yet again to escort you while you collected some redcrest and other materials from the desert for special herbs. And why not just commisson them to bring some, without you having to travel such a long and tiring journey, or just buy what you need from the mercenants? You asked yourself at least a thousand times. For example, when you almost stepped on a giant scorpion-like thing, got hit by an especially massive tumbleweed, tripped on a scarab, and even when you got into a fight and almost lost all of your dignity?

Yes, you asked yourself a lot of times.

But you only trusted yourself when it came to collencting materials. After all, only you knew what exactly you needed.

And... Maybe you just enjoyed traveling with them on a regular basis.

Because every one or two months you came to Aaru village and commissioned them for the very same reason, and there wasn't even a single time they turned you down. It started nearly a year ago, when you had no idea of who to trust and how this region works, but out of sheer luck you bumped into - literally, right to his chest - the perfect people. And ever since you only commissioned them and no one else.

So there were the three of you: a still unexperienced, clumsy alhemist's apprentice, depending too much on their deputees; an always smiling, funny and kind, but at the same time life-threatening girl; and her father, a whole natural force, like a billion-years-old mountain looking like he could even challenge Morax himself with his bare two hands.

Well, a colorful team, might as well to say, you tought to yourself as you were laying in your tent. It was a strange friendship between the three of you. You were almost best friends with Jeht, you could talk and laugh about almost everything. And even tough you never talked much with Jebrael, he had proven that he really did care about you, so you considered him as a dear friend as well.

Despite these dangerous journeys, they were the most awaited people in your whole month.

Minutes passed, then half an hour, and then a whole, and you still could not sleep. Getting bored of trying, you sat up and started to think again. But after another thirty minutes you got bored again, so you decided to do a little stargazing. It might help you fall asleep.

You put on some clothes, and opened the tent. You almost tripped in your own legs as soon as you saw the tall, threatening figure's back infront of you-

Oh, wait. It's just Jebrael. Yeah. He's in your team.

Cool.

After your heartbeat kind of went back to normal, you just stood there, studying the man's silhouette. If the muscles and scars armoring his massive body could tell you their stories, you'd probably listen to them for years long. When he fights, he does not have any spare movements, and the way he swings his weapon with such pure brutallity and unique elegance... This controversiality always left you tremble and speechless at the same time.

You snapped out of your toughts as you approached the man, not having any better idea as soon as you saw him. You were sure he's heard you, but just in case, you stepped on a drained brach to alert him of your presence. He did not turn his head towards you, and didn't say a word when you sat down next to him. You both remained silent for long minutes.

"Aren't you tired?" You asked, breaking the silence. "It's been a long day. You should take a rest, too."

"It's my turn on watch," he replied. "And Jeht is also tired. I'm fine. You should be the one taking a rest."

"But I can't sleep. I just keep thinking about everything."

"Hm," he 'said', still not moving an inch. Sometimes you wondered how a man of such a figure could act so unnoticeable and noiseless.

"For examle, the sky," you pointed at the stars. "All the orbs can be seen from there so much better than from Lyue harbor or Mondstadt. It's probably because of the light pollution, or I don't know."

"I tought you were a scientist?"

"Well... sort of, but this is not my field. I'm more into alchemistry. Or, at least, I'm trying," you laughed nervously, scratching the back of your head in embarassment. "But I'm not that good, no matter how hard I try."

"That's not true," he opposed, slightly turning his head toward you. "The ointment you gave us was really effective."

"Ah, yes. That is the only one I'm proud of," you chuckled. "And the anti-sweat bandages! I see you still use them," you smiled at him, looking at his arm.

"See, these things are useful. Just keep it up."

There was silence again. You stared at the endless black of the sky, toughts racing trough your head like a tumbleweed in the wind.

Somehotw, sitting in silence with him wasn't uncomfortable, like it was with other people. You could collect your toughts and think silently, while feeling perfectly safe.

You wanted to experience it more. Not just every one or two months.

"How much more materials do you need for the following months?" He asked suddenly.

"Well... Hmm... I need a few more redcrest, five scarabs and three more ajilenakh nuts... but I think that's all for now. But I'll think it trough the morning."

"Good. Jeht and I have to head back to the village soon, so we can collect them tomorrow and then start to take our way home," he said casually.

Like it didn't mean that your journey, your only chance to finally have some time for yourself, but be safe and with friends at the same time wasn't about to end in a few hours.

"Oh," you replied. "Okay, no problem."

"And you know, you can commission others to these trips, too. I have some reliable acquintances, so I can recommend you some of them. You don't have to aks us every single time."

Ouch.

You gulped. Did that mean that he wasn't enjoying your company? Definitely, you declared. But he seemed to be okay with it... Is there something wrong with you? Or with anything? Did you do something wrong?

Oh, silly question. Even when establishing the camp, you couldn't help properly, because the tent you tried to make always collapsed as soon as it had the chance, and it was always Jebrael who helped you fix it. You could only make some food, but that wasn't so delicious either, rather flavoured with herbs to make your companions feel better. But that didn't mean they enjoyed it as much as you did...

Were you overreacting again? Yes. But was it logical? Absolutely, for this time.

They were... he was important to you. It did matter what he said. Maybe a little bit too much.

"Right. That's true. I should probably ask someone else, too, you two must be busy as well," you laughed again, but this time much more nervously. "I'm sorry I bother you with this every month. Seriously." You nodded, holding back your tears, trying to find some excuse to leave the scenery as fast as possible. "Oh, can you feel it? It's getting so cold! I'd probably go back and, you know, try to get some rest... Good night, then!"

You quickly jumped up from the log you were sitting in, waving a quick "goodbye", then turned your back on him and walked to your tent.

How could you be so blind... Why would you think that he enjoyed spending time with you? No one enjoyed your company, that's why you didn't have any friends. You were nothing more than an ignorant little pharmacist who had no idea about the dangers and pressures of the world Jebrael lived in. He's porbably had some more important business to take care of, and you had no right to tell him to stay one more day just because-

"The... The stars. What's the difference between Lyue and here?"

You froze, slowly turning your head back to him. His head was facing the sky, hands resting on his knees relaxed.

He looked so peaceful all of a sudden.

You gulped again.

"We- well," you started, playing with your hand in embarassment, "there are so much more lamps in Lyue. It's a harbor, after all, and it's always bathing in light, so you cannot see the night sky so well..."

"Hmm. I haven't seen it in a long time," he whispered.

You turned your head to look at him. You had no idea why he was wearing, or why he had to wear that blindfold. You never asked about it. Once you tried to talk to Jeht, but she just brushed it off with an "I dunno, he never talks about it," and that was all.

Jebrael never talked about himself, not even to his daughter.

But something changed this evening.

He seemed to be more... open. To have a conversation. Even if it was just about the sky.

And he started to open himself for you.

You snapped back to reality, forgetting that you should probably carry on the talk. You made your way back to the log, sitting down next to him where you were just moments ago. It was still warm.

"Do you... want me to tell about it?" You asked silently.

For a moment, he didn't reply. Then he slighly nod.

You smiled.

Well... at least that's something to begin with.

} > -- • -- < {

The next morning, when Jebrael woke up, he found himself under a blanket - and with you leaning onto him, head on his right shoulder. He focused on the sounds surrounding him, but he couldn't hear Jeht's breathing, only yours. But when he moved his left hand, he found a short message.

'Wouldn't want to wake you two up, went to grab some branches. Not gonna be back soon. ;P'

Jebrael let out a small sigh, cautious not to wake you up, and just listened to your peaceful breathing for a few minutes.

And then he cracked a small smile.

That business in the village could wait a few days.

} > -- • -- < {

[221beloved]

A short insertion

Originally, I wanted to do this at the very end, maybe first day of november, but with every passing day, the need to do at least something to express my... thankfulness, increases.

Well... what should I say?

Thank you! Really, really thank you! For all the gentle words directed at me.

It's not the first time I wrote Sherlock fanfic, but it's the first time I participated in a challenge like angstober, the first time I published something, and it's the first time I wrote in english. (I'm sure you found all the mistakes I didn't know I've made. Well...)

The idea to do this was quite spontanious, to do it in english even more so. I was thrilled and horrified at the same time and in the progress of writing I really wanted to scream sometimes. Especially because of my choice of language.

My Tumblr account is still quite new and two weeks ago I didn't have many connections, so I wasn't expecting much by uploding my little ideas to the promts. I was doing it mostly for me anyways, I had fun thinking about possible stories and writing them down, and I was looking forward to the 4 or 5 remarks I would get. There was nothing to loose.

Well, if only I'd known...

I'll try to keep it short (funny to say this now...) But in the end I was kind of proud to have finished it, a story for every day of october, the publishing was, well, a possibility to prove i'd really done it

But half an hour after I uploaded the first fic, I already had my 4 reactions and I was kind of stunned, grinning like a fool. I suspect that everyone who saw me that day (well, this hole month if I'm honest) must have thought I've finally lost my mind. When I looked again in the evening, I nearly fell off my chair. My post had over 20 remarks, really lovely comments among them.

I was... overwhelmed. I still am.

What I'm trying to say is: thank you! For the lovely and positive feedback I would never have expected.

I knew the Sherlock community to be quite strong, lovely and supportive, and now I've experienced it myself.

I already thanked some of you directly, but I couldn't respond to everyone, and I don't think I will manage now.

Please, feel adressed if you've read a story and liked it, whether you reblogged/liked or not. Thank you, I'm honoured!

I think I just wanted you to know that...

Please text me if I forgot you

Thanks to @angstober for the prompts

@holmesianlove @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @topsyturvy-turtely @safedistancefrombeingsmart @blogstandbygo @7-percent @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk @nathan-no @macgyvershe @whatsgoodmentalhealth @ninasnakie @maiaemerald @helloliriels @exasperated-society @meetinginsamarra @bs2sjh @khorazir @chinike @ace-is-undead @qiauu @nic0tinepatch @alicecoup @peanitbear @totallysilvergirl @inevitably-johnlocked @semiprofessionalmom @jobooksncoffee

I certainly overlooked some of you... I'm sorry. As I said, text me to change that

[aprismaticodyssey]

I'm proud of myself because... 👀 (please read this-)

...the draft for book 2 is nearly done! It is... very VERY messy and so rough and sloppy. But that's okay! That's the point of a draft. It's like those inital sketches only you can decipher and understand because you know what the final product will be. There have been a lot of things going on (prior to Monty's passing) that has made it quite challenging to do any edits on Book 1. I've thought of things I could add to it but huge portions need significant work that I haven't yet figured out myself.

So because of that, I went into writing Book 2 with the hopes of giving myself a headstart. Well. I think I definitely have! It's immensely different from what I originally imagined. I had to take out plot threads (RIP) simply because I felt they wouldn't work and perhaps could be saved for RO spin off titles, if I did such a thing (which is a MAJOR if. I won't promise anything on that. If it happens, it happens.). Book 3 is going to be a challenge and also the last book, making this a trilogy.

On the side, I've been working on an unrelated projected that I asked my mother to read and she enjoyed it, to my delight! I dunno if it'd be an IF or anything but I was glad she liked it. I've also gone into Nyx's story off and on because his would take place after Agents of Lucifer and just before Amberwood. Which I STILL don't have a plot for. Or solid idea for MC. So annoying..

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

[princeson]

Dimple wearing a maid dress ? 💁‍♂️

DIMPLE FRIDAY #10 | Maid Dimple

@baderpfulu I should've known you would be the one who almost got me killed by making a simple art request... or rather, you made a simple art request that I accepted and turned into an unnecessary challenge for myself that nearly spelled my death.

This has been sitting in my WIPs for a while now, and I really wanted to finish it and post it for a Dimple Friday, so I finally got around to finishing it. Well, by 'finishing it', I mean cleaning up the sketch enough to be presentable. I don't think I'll ever do proper clean lineart for it, so a sketchy drawing it will stay. I did all this just before the deadline, too, so I was frantically trying to get it done before Friday was technically over. haha, I guess I love making myself suffer. 🙃

But! despite all that, I did it!! and I am proud of myself for doing it! and I actually REALLY like how it turned out. So good job, me! 😌👍

Anyway, yeah, all this over Yoshioka Dimple in a maid dress 💁‍♂️ I hope y'all enjoy. I'm going to sleep through to next week. Until then! 👋

(4.13.24: Updated version here)

[basu-shokikita]

now that october is officially over i can proudly say that i managed to do 24 out of the 31 kloktober prompts!!

i actually wasn't planning on participating and then i saw everyone posting their entries on october 1st and i was like oh shit i actually want to do this maybe?? so i'm really proud of what i managed with essentially 0 prep.

i've participated in ship weeks before but never in monthly challenges so i struggled quite a bit to come up with (brief) stories for the prompts, often coming up with the plot as i went along but i think i did pretty fine. i'm more confident on some entries more than others but overall i treasure them all. i don't consider myself a fast writer so this definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone and for that i am glad!

and it was not just an exercise on writing but also posting because i tend to get cold feet about putting my fics out there so posting nearly everyday took quite the effort too.

and for those who liked, reblogged or commented on my drabbles: thank you! i appreciate you tons for taking the time to interact with my writing. <3 feel free to check out my other fics on ao3 as well! hopefully i'll be posting more from now on :)

shout out to shouri and doctor who were so sweet and encouraging with each of my entries! you guys rock and i don't know if i could've done all of this without your support, ily

that's all and bless you for reading all of this if you did xD

[not-poignant]

Recently I unexpectedly had two weeks of paid time off work. As something to do with this sudden free time, I decided to set myself a challenge; to write a short story, which is something I had never done before. I've always admired you for having such a talent with words, and I wanted to give it a try.

And Pia... IT WAS HARD! SO HARD! >.<

I wrote every day. I was sweating. I was pacing. I was groaning. I was laying face down on the couch. Just trying to MAKE. THE. WORDS. DO. THE. THING! You make it look so easy! xDD

I literally had several of your stories open as a cheat sheet, to figure out everything from “how does punctuation work” to “how in the world does he transition from internal monologue to conversation so naturally??”

But after two weeks of nearly full time writing, I finished my first 9358 word story.

Is it any good? Probably not. Am I going to do it again? Again, probably not xD

I'm proud that I finished it and as much as I was struggling, I enjoyed the challenge.

But the most impactful thing I took away from these two weeks, is a whole new level of appreciation for your work. Deep diving into your stories, trying to figure out how they work, it honestly blew my mind. YOU ARE SO GOOD! I've always adored your writing because it resonates with me so much and it never fails to take me on an emotional journey. But now I've had a glimpse of experiencing the craft behind it and all I can say is... You truly are one of the best authors out there.

So, thank you for sharing your incredible work with the world.

Omg anon, this message was so great to get.

Firstly, firstly- you're AMAZING!!! You are so good! You had a goal, you'd never done something like this before, and you finished a 10k story? That's basically a novella! Like, holy shit anon, that's incredible tenacity given you've never done it before! Even I wasn't busting out 10k stories when I first started writing.

This message made me so happy, but also frankly really just impressed as well. In some ways it's easy to kind of not see that I've been doing this for 10+ years, I've had a lot of practice, I write faster than I used to, and I didn't used to write this fast when I started out!

I bet your story is a lot better than you think it is. And tbh, maybe you'll find a way to enjoy the process more. :D I think it's awesome you wrote what you did, even if you never do it again *flails quietly*

But also I have this gif saved permanently on my computer and I think you'll very much relate to it even after two weeks:

Also you can have this one too:

And this one!!!!

Actually you can bet I have a folder of a ton of writing gifs because it's a WHOLE mood:

--

I think it's cool though that you gained an appreciation for the craft. Like anything, I think it's great when it looks like it's easy because frankly if you feel like you're slogging it through my writing and every sentence is a burden then I've done something wrong sdalkfjads

But it is something I care about and put a lot of time and thought into, and I'm just so impressed you tried it. That's cool, friend. You're cool.

Hobbies and new skills have to watch out when you're around, it seems like your determination is very Hulk!Smash level! :D :D :D

[chronicallypainful]

My brother's fiancé was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and I am jealous of how much support she and my brother are getting from family. There, I said it. I'm not proud of it. But suppressing emotions is generally not healthy. So let's talk about it.

Just to set the stage here: the diagnosis is serious but not dire. She's looking at at least six months of chemotherapy plus surgery. There are also very real financial stresses in this situation. It is legitimately crappy.

When my mom called to let me know, she said something to the effect of "they're both going to need our help and support." Yeah, no kidding. I cannot argue with that, and I will offer what support I can (probably mostly phone calls and care packages). That statement, though, also hit a really sore spot for me.

I think there are several layers as to why that bothered me.

1. As anyone reading this already knows, chronic illnesses don't receive the same level of societal recognition or support as acute illnesses or cancer diagnoses.

2. As I described in a post a couple weeks ago, I have been dealing with antidepressant induced health problems for more than seven months now. At times my symptoms have been quite severe, to the point where I took a full three weeks of medical leave followed by about a month of only working part time. I've felt alone and I've had trouble getting support throughout this time. When I spoke with my mom about my brother's fiancé's cancer diagnosis, my mom was already thinking about taking her to chemotherapy appointments, cooking meals, and helping with housework. Throughout the past seven months, my mom has not taken me to any medical appointments, cooked any of my meals, or helped me with housework. Now, there are a couple really good reasons for that, including the fact that she would have to drive four hours to reach me, while it only takes about an hour and a half for her to get to my brother. The other factor that has made it really hard for me to get support is the "just another couple weeks" phenomenon. Throughout the process, my doctor kept telling me that my symptoms would improve in a week or two. This made it really hard for me to know that I needed to reach out for support or coordinate logistics so that I could have more support (e.g. I would have preferred to spend my three weeks of medical leave staying with my parents instead of living by myself with no ability to drive in suburban America. But nobody thought it was going to be a whole three weeks when I started needing to take sick time. And it wouldn't make sense to travel to stay with them if it was only going to be a few days, right?) Even though I can look at those reasons why I have had trouble accessing support and acknowledge that they are valid reasons outside of either my or my mom's control, it's still hurts to see how readily and quickly she is jumping to provide support to my brother and his fiancé, when I have not enjoyed that same level of support in spite of my own significant health challenges.

3. My antidepressant related health issues are not over, and I still would like to have more support that I'm getting. While I am no longer incapacitated to nearly the same extent that I was a few months ago, I am still experiencing daily dizziness, excessive crying, and elevated pain levels. (And, yes, I have now been entirely off of the offending medications for 4 1/2 months. And yes I am still having symptoms.) I'm also essentially attempting to rehabilitate myself after an extended illness, and I'm doing that while working full-time and trying to manage three chronic illnesses, including the now-untreated anxiety disorder which was the thing I sought treatment for in the first place. It's exhausting. And I'm also exhausted by the fact that I've been dealing with these additional health challenges for more than seven months now, and I have done that mostly on my own.

[art-by-moosie]

I had a nostalgic dream last week about a park I haven't been to in almost 20 years and since I got a new sketchbook, I thought I'd try to draw it out from memory in the two mediums I'm still a complete beginner at. Coupled with this being a nearly 20-year old memory I was using as reference (I couldn't find any pictures of this trail anywhere), this piece was a challenge and a half xD

On the left is gouache. Which...well, it's paint and I've already mentioned plenty of times how painting will forever be a mystery to me. It looks really amateurish because I am an amateur at paint. But hey, I'm proud of it, even if it did frustrate the hell out of me. Part of that frustration came at my lack of greens, though. I have no warm-toned greens, so I kept having to mix in yellows, reds, and browns to get the shades I needed.

On the right is oil pastels. It was the fun side and I probably would have done the whole thing in oil pastels if I hadn't set the challenge of wanting to do gouache for myself. Plus, i got to do a lot of finger blending and accidentally got pastel all over my face LOL

P.S.: Those tires are logstacker tires. They're hug, so kids would climb on them like a jungle gym. No idea if they're still at the park, though.

Art tag: @ilovedainironfoot

[docmedecal]

Hi~! Long post inc (or above, I haven't uploaded things on Tumblr in ages) I'm Kassandra (or Kas or whatever just don't call me late for dinner haha) and today was the one year anniversary of the medical side of finding myself (and everything else that's come with it) 2023 had so many challenging moments, but it was also the happiest year of my life and greatest time for my own personal growth and well being. I started HRT on Jan 18th 2023 (after a long internal battle with acceptance that sometimes spilled out into external conflict) and I have loved every day since. That's not to say there wasn't struggles with it, the couple months of feeling plateau'd, finding out my blood work wasn't hitting the desired marks and then finding out months later I was at the upper end of the hormone range and my levels were all great, and learning how to express myself confidently (therapy helps a lot too!) The past year has been a lot of trial and error (and lots of Amazon/Romwe crap clothes) to find my sense of self and how I wanted to express myself. I also had a lot of help from the loveliest person I know (more on them later though hehe~) and I've finally been able to be that person I always would daydream about being all throughout my life but never had the courage (or means) to do and be. I've learned that a lot of the "scariness" in the world that being semi-professionally terminally online would show me, while valid, was not the reality of things that I would face. I've dealt with conflict around my transition, as nearly all trans people do, like having to break ties with one of my closest friends of 14 years because he stated I was an "abomination" among other things. But I also found love and acceptance among many of my closest friends especially in my best friend who most likely couldn't tell you what any given letter in the alphabet soup is but supports me fully and talks with me daily. Surprising most of all is the middle aged women that come up to me every few times I leave the house and compliment my outfits (a shock from the assumption that I would face a slew of TERFs on the daily from any Reddit thread) and the neighbors of the home I moved into who have treated me as a women in every interaction. It's been a long journey from being a small kid sneaking into heels when my parents were gone to being in my Sophomore year of high school and seeing Against Me! where my dad explained to me that the singer had transitioned and I was shocked that was an option to the first appointment at my local Planned Parenthood so anxious about the blood draw that was the smoothest I'd ever experienced to the first little blue fem 'n m I took to the one I took a few hours before writing this. And I know that even if the rest of the journey is filled with highs and lows, I will love every second of living my life as the person I've always wanted to be.

2023 was also the year of reconnecting with an old friend @arrogantmrcnry (over a Tinder joke profile of all things) and having friendship transition (hah) into them being the best partner in the world and love of my life. Whenever my transition comes up, they tell me how proud they are of me and I tell them that I couldn't have done all of this (to the extent I have) without them always being there to support and love me I have had some of the happiest celebrations and holidays with them at my side this past year and gone on so many little adventures (and many more to go) There isn't a single person in this entire universe that I would have rather started this journey with. They always know how to tell what I'm feeling and exactly what to say to make my day better. Even if we'll eventually stop communicating verbally since we seem to make the same damn jokes in unison always haha. We've kept each other sane through moving in together and fixing up our home, yoinking a street cat together, and the general highs and lows of life. You are the greatest partner I could have ever hoped for and I'm so elated to one day be your wife 🖤

The Pre-E but not yet Post E-Girl Era (back when I used a foundation that gave me super bad breakouts) Still some of my most fun makeup sessions besides the ones with @arrogantmrcnry also let the love of my life pierce my nose so I could stop using $2 fakes that always fell out while taking pics 😂

Some extras I didn't really know where to place but more snapshots of the year (also the best son and street muskrat anyone could wish for!)

For 2024, I've set some transition goals to start getting laser on my face (one of my last real anxieties looking in the mirror) and work on some slight voice training so I can fully utilize and embrace my deeper voice in a more femme manner. I know that this will be another amazing year of learning to be me and love life~

[drizzileiscool]

drizzile's mind presents:

That one time I absolutely demolished one of my irls in puyo puyo tetris 2

starring: drizzile

and irl who I no longer see as a friend because they are transphobic and I want to stop hanging out with

this is another long post

back when tetris 99 released, a youtuber I liked played it for the first time. they kinda sucked tbh but I'm not gonna say who the youtuber is. during the intro of the video, they played footage from a streamer named wumbo. at this time, I had no understanding of the concept of competitive tetris. I immediately checked out his channel and saw gameplay that seemed impossible for me. I later got the t99 dlc to try to practice playing competitive tetris. I still sucked but now I could almost kinda do a t spin. fast forward to me falling down the puyo puyo rabbit hole. i downloaded the demo for ppt and tried playing against the cpus.

Fast forward even more. I have done my first tst in t99 marathon mode and was proud of myself. my irl was also slightly into tetris, but not nearly as much as I am. he knew how the game works but that's it. he didn't know how to t spin (I think he still doesn't), and also believed that combos could only go up to 4 (he also doesn't know about 4wides).

fast forward to the release of ppt2. I asked for it on christmas, but due to me having covid, I had to wait until new years to play it. after beating the story, i went online and got destroyed.

I then looked up some tips on how to get better, slowly improving my speed, and "mastering" the t spin. meanwhile, my irl played tetris party deluxe on the wii and attempted a single t spin.

Fast forward again. I challenged my irl to t99 (the update that added private rooms came out). although we couldn't see what we were doing, we both assumed we were at the same skill level, and we were wrong.

Another fast forward, this is the last one I swear, irl challenges me to ppt2 because he thought the t99 thing was unfair. During this time, the school we were at announced that if people had good enough grade, they would get to participate in a thing called "fun friday", where at the end of a friday, we got to hang out and do whatever in the gym, including playing on switch. When the first round started, I literally swept the floor with him. he did not get the chance to do literally anything. I pc'd him, repeatedly t spinned, and attempted a 4wide at the end (but failed at the 4wide since I still wasn't good enough for that). All he pulled off was a few tetrises and regular line clears. I had several hours of training in tetris, while he only had like 10 minutes. after this, he was very visibly shocked at how good I was compared to him. we never played against each other in any tetris game again (except for te:c once, which he gave up on), and he now calls me the tetris god.

unimportant to the story but also funny: one time when we were talking about this to another friend (who thankfully isn't transphobic but I rarely get to talk to them), he casually mentioned that I am a god at tetris and devoted my entire life to it. coincidentally, I was wearing a tetris shirt under my coat, so I immediately showed it off, resulting in a few laughs.

[raiiny-bay]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

ooo this is so fun!! ty for sending this <3 & ty @elderwisp & @eternal-infamy for sending me this also! :-)

my favorite edit i've ever done is definitely this one. i'm not even sure why tbh - it's one of the few that turned out exactly how i wanted. & it's been my phone background for nearly a year now lol

i'm really proud of this one (& the monster boyz in general) as well! i made the VHS overlay myself which was somehow both more & less challenging than i thought it would be.

i thought this one came out pretty cool too, honestly! it was my first kind of attempt at getting back into photo sets after not doing them for a while & it was really fun!

& lastly, for something not render-related but still OC-related: this drawing i made last year! it was the first & only time i've ever drawn all of the kids together & i'm never doing it again :-)

[allylikethecat]

Quick question! Love all the January prompts so far and I was wondering if you had any oneshot situations in the works?

Ah! Thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the January Prompts! They have been both extremely fun and extremely challenging to work on and I am so proud of myself for sticking with them. There have been many a night where I have nearly forgotten about it, and wanted to skip it, and I'm always so pleased that I've actually manage to power through!

In terms of one shots - I don't have an official timeline of when things are going to be finished / posted because I have been focusing on my chaptered fics at the moment (once I get the Christmas one done I feel like a giant weight will have been lifted omg) BUT according to my 2024 Fic Planning Document I will hopefully be working on the following one shots:

A migraine sick fic

The long await IV situation at the end of the North American leg of SATVB sick fic

Baby!Fictional!Matty and Baby!Fictional!George and how they got together the first time in the Infection Verse

Infection Verse fic about fictional!Matty's hospitalization between chapters 8 and 9 of the A&E fic following his suicide attempt

There will also inevitably be some other one shots that I come up with between now and then, but that is what I currently have in terms of ideas that I am excited to start flushing out! I also have a LOT of really lovely prompts that people have sent me on Tumblr, and I hope that I'll be able to dedicate some time to finish some of those sooner rather than later!

Thank you so much for reading, your support and sending in this lovely ask! I hope you have a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[petits--oiseaux]

I've had two panic attacks this week. I had a check in with my supervisor yesterday and when he asked how I was, I let him know that I was struggling and that the panic attacks were happening. This morning I woke up to a text from him that said if I needed time to recover that I can take the day off. Not just that but he said "PLEASE, take the day off." I feel seen at work and it means so much. He knows that I struggle to ask for help and he knows I'm working on stuff, so the fact that he remembered our conversation and reached out was really nice.

So, I stayed home today. I was still feeling pretty shitty this morning. I watched some tv with the cat. Then I decided to take a look at my dishwasher (which has been broken for almost two months after it was already replaced and I've been too down on myself to ask for someone to come fix) and see if there was a chance I could do something. And I fucking did it. Currently, my dishes are being washed by the machine after nearly two months of having an overflowing sink and counters filled.

Then we have the fitblr challenge which I was going to get myself to do at least 30 minutes of at some point today. After fixing the dishwasher a HUGE weight was lifted off my of shoulders and I finally felt motivation creep in. So, I did the 30 minutes and it felt so good. I'm sweaty and warm (and now laying in bed with the fan directly on me) and I'm proud.

Depression really is a bitch my guys. It's this cycle of guilt that just sends you deeper into a hole. Until one day a magical thing like a working dishwasher shows a small light at the top of the hole. I'm on my way out and I don't know if I would have done it as quickly without the grace of being told to stay home for my mental health.

Thanks for being here y'all ✌️❤️

[myargalargan]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Thank you for the self-love encouragement, Orange! 💗

the words to keep you (which I've just finished!!🥳) is definitely my number one favorite right now. This fic has been a labor of love for nearly 3 years, and it's finally finished and edited and fully published and I'm so proud of myself for getting it done and out there. 56k words of pure Sukka pining (and thirsting 😏) and the longest, most elaborate thing I've written to date.

The Way Old Friends Do is another definite fave. Written as a gift for @boomerangguy prompted by one of his favorite tropes, I had so much fun writing it, and I have so much fun whenever I re-read it. Sukka best friends-to-lovers and a rather tame interpretation of the "only one bed" trope, I just love the way all the Gaang friendships are portrayed, all the little nuances of their interactions and their personalities. And then there's that sweet, sweet transition from the closeness and intimacy of deep friendship to the blushing heat of new romance, which has some personal significance for me as well. 😉

At Least They Don't Call Me Dumpling Weed is a special one. Another gift fic that I wrote for @pidgeapodge for a solstice exchange, the prompt asked for family fun with Suki and Sokka's kids, and somehow that catapulted me into a realm of writing way outside my usual: 1st person POV, told from the perspective of a young teen, who by the way is an OC, and which focuses primarily on her life and her relationship with her (OC) siblings and cousins and only contains little crumbs of Sukka. The whole time I was writing it I was like "what am I doing???" but I reread it recently and was super pleased with it. I love the voice of the POV character, I love her interactions with her cousin Bumi, I love the little Sukka crumbs, and I love the character development and the overall message.

the longest night's embrace is, once again, a solstice exchange gift fic and, once again, outside my usual comfort zone. And for that reason it's also special to me. This is a Kya x Hakoda x Bato fic with lots of very soft family feels, and I really enjoyed the challenge of writing not only a ship other than Sukka but a poly ship at that. I'm very happy with how it came out, how well it all works together and the delicate intimacy between all the characters. Also baby Sokka. 🥹

Infinite Limits (or Sokka and the Secret Tunnel) is...an absolutely ridiculous fic, but another one that I think is super fun. A very awkward Sukka first time fic, I love this one because of the less-than-perfect portrayal of losing one's virginity and because I think Sokka's voice in this one is so engaging and funny. I adore writing Sokka, but I definitely struggle sometimes with his style and sense of humor, and I think I did a decent job in this one.

Thanks again, friend!

[in-my-feels-probably]

Congrats!

So I have a request for option one✨so to participate for this one, all you have to do is give me a character from a fandom and why you picked them, and any information about yourself you want to give me, and i’ll write you a blurb and tell you why i think your chosen character would like you.✨

I chose Nikolai Lantsov, I loved his character the moment I saw him (he gives off the best vibes for me) and he's one of the few fictional blondes who I really like. He's so compassionate and kind,and all together good. Plus he's so funny.

Preferably the relationship be romantic.

A little about myself, I'm also a blonde and tall, I'm a very curious but also can be very serious, but I can crack a joke. I can be kind but also fiery, I've been told I'm quite smart and have a good imagination. I might be a bit of a loner sometimes but if I like someone I'll be very open to them. I read a lot and love a good mystery/challenge. Also I'm a recent swiftie and I love Lauren Spencer-Smith(she has the best sad songs)

Anyway,

If you choose write anything with this, thank you, and lots of love and congratulations🩷🩷

hi!

thanks for participating :)

(first of all, i’m with you on the fictional blondes. him and peeta and finnick are pretty much the only ones who get a pass lol. anyways…)

i think nikolai would be drawn to you because you’d be a bit of a challenge to him. you sound more reserved, and he is very much not. it would take a bit for you to open up to him, and he’d be very proud of himself when you finally did. and he’d see that you’re funny and able to crack jokes with him and make him smile, which he needs. he’s always making people’s day brighter, but he doesn’t really have a person in his life to do that for him. getting you to smile would make him smile.

im telling you, nikolai would LOVE a good mystery. that man has adhd or something i swear, he has to be doing something to keep his hands and brain occupied. he’s a naturally curious person, and i think he’d love trying to solve things and sort things out. i don’t think he’s much of a reader honestly, unless he needs to be. but i do think there’s a few genres that would interest him, and he’d probably read in his free time. but he’d much rather come to you and ask you about the book your reading.

also, full believer that nikolai would be a swiftie. he’s such a mirrorball girlie. anyways, moving on!

—

nikolai would totally come to you after a long day. he’s one of those people that needs to wind his brain down, he can’t just stop and sit. he’ll be buzzing for hours if he doesn’t get some energy out. he’d come find you wherever you were, and he’d see you were nearly done with the book you had been telling him about. he’d excitedly ask you to catch him up with the plot, and then listen as you continued reading. he’d totally interrupt a bunch and try and predict what would happen next.

“what happened next—wait! don’t tell me, i can figure it out,” he spit out, making you smile.

you’d playfully roll your eyes, closing the book and holding it out to him. “why don’t you read it if you’re so interested?”

“and miss out on this invaluable quality time with you?” he’d smirk, pushing the book back into your hands. “never. keep going, darling.”

you’d chuckle, nodding. he’d stretch himself out on the couch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. you’d continue reading, tilting the book away so you knew he wasn’t peeking.

“any theories yet?” you’d ask, smiling down at him as you tapped his temple with your finger. “i can see the smoke. don’t hurt yourself.”

“piss off, keep reading!”

—

thanks again for participating! i hope you enjoyed this :)