#Natural Diamond Ring in Bi-Color Gold

[glamourjewellers]

Discover timeless elegance with Glamour Jewellers’ Natural Diamond Ring in 18K Yellow and White Gold. A perfect blend of luxury and craftsmanship, this stunning piece is a must-have for your collection. Visit us at: https://bit.ly/jewelry-storein-dubai-glamour-jewellers . . .

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[beautytreats]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Yellow & Purple Bi Color Tourmaline Quartz Handmade Pendant.

[thehierophage]

Atu XX: The Aeon

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Correspondences:

Hebrew Letter: Shin (c) Numerical Value as Letter: 300 Numerical Value as Word: 360/1010 [nic(Shin + Yod + Nun)/ ]ic(Shin + Yod + Nun fin.)] Meaning of Letter: Tooth Thoth Card: The Aeon (Atu XX) Alternate Title: The Spirit of the Primal Fire. Tree of Life Path Association: Path 31/31-bis, links Hod to Malkuth (8 & 10)

Astrological Sign: N/A Element: Fire / (31 bis.) Spirit (BA) Egyptian Godforms: Thoum-Aesh-Neith, Horus/Mau/Kabeshunt, Tarpesheth; (as 31-bis) Asar

Geomantic Figure: Those of Fiery Triplicity (p t q)

Gemstones: Fire Opal; (as 31-bis) Black Diamond Perfumes: (as 31) Olibanum, all Fiery Odours Plants: (as 31) Red Poppy, Hibiscus, Nettle; (as 31 bis) Almond in flower Animals: (as 31) Lion (Cherub of Fire); Sphinx (if sworded and crowned)

Colors (For Key 31 / 31 bis.):

King Scale – Glowing orange scarlet / White, merging Grey

Queen Scale – Vermillion/ Deep purple (near black)

Prince Scale – Scarlet, flecked gold /  The 7 prismatic colours, the violet being outside

Princess Scale – Vermillion flecked crimson & emerald / White, red, yellow, blue, black (the latter outside)

The Secret Instruction of the Master:

Be every Act an Act of Love and Worship!

Be every Act the Fiat of a God!

Be every Act a Source of radiant Glory!

Mnemonic:

Nuit, Hadit, Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Aeon

Of the Twin Child! Exult, o Empyrean!

Liber CCXXXI

Then also the Pyramid was builded so that the Initiation might be complete.

Holy Book Reading: Liber LXV, Ch. IV

IV

1.  O crystal heart! I the Serpent clasp Thee; I drive home mine head into the central core of Thee, O God my beloved.

2.  Even as on the resounding wind-swept heights of Mitylene some god-like woman casts aside the lyre, and with her locks aflame as an aureole, plunges into the wet heart of the creation, so I, O Lord my God!

3.  There is a beauty unspeakable in this heart of corruption, where the flowers are aflame.

4.  Ah me! but the thirst of Thy joy parches up this throat, so that I cannot sing.

5.  I will make me a little boat of my tongue, and explore the unknown rivers. It may be that the everlasting salt may turn to sweetness, and that my life may be no longer athirst.

6.  O ye that drink of the brine of your desire, ye are nigh to madness! Your torture increaseth as ye drink, yet still ye drink. Come up through the creeks to the fresh water; I shall be waiting for you with my kisses.

7.  As the bezoar-stone that is found in the belly of the cow, so is my lover among lovers.

8.  O honey boy! Bring me Thy cool limbs hither! Let us sit awhile in the orchard, until the sun go down! Let us feast on the cool grass! Bring wine, ye slaves, that the cheeks of my boy may flush red.

9.  In the garden of immortal kisses, O thou brilliant One, shine forth! Make Thy mouth an opium-poppy, that one kiss is the key to the infinite sleep and lucid, the sleep of Shi-loh-am.

10.  In my sleep I beheld the Universe like a clear crystal without one speck.

11.  There are purse-proud penniless ones that stand at the door of the tavern and prate of their feats of wine-bibbing.

12.  There are purse-proud penniless ones that stand at the door of the tavern and revile the guests.

13.  The guests dally upon couches of mother-of-pearl in the garden; the noise of the foolish men is hidden from them.

14.  Only the inn-keeper feareth lest the favour of the king be withdrawn from him.

15.  Thus spake the Magister V.V.V.V.V. unto Adonai his God, as they played together in the starlight over against the deep black pool that is in the Holy Place of the Holy House beneath the Altar of the Holiest One.

16.  But Adonai laughed, and played more languidly.

17.  Then the scribe took note, and was glad. But Adonai had no fear of the Magician and his play.

For it was Adonai who had taught all his tricks to the Magician.

18.  And the Magister entered into the play of the Magician. When the Magician laughed he laughed; all as a man should do.

19.  And Adonai said: Thou art enmeshed in the web of the Magician. This He said subtly, to try him.

20.  But the Magister gave the sign of the Magistry, and laughed back on Him: O Lord, O beloved, did these fingers relax on Thy curls, or these eyes turn away from Thine eye?

21.  And Adonai delighted in him exceedingly.

22.  Yea, O my master, thou art the beloved of the Beloved One; the Bennu Bird is set up in Philæ not in vain.

23.  I who was the priestess of Ahathoor rejoice in your love. Arise, O Nile-God, and devour the holy place of the Cow of Heaven! Let the milk of the stars be drunk up by Sebek the dweller of Nile!

24.  Arise, O serpent Apep, Thou art Adonai the beloved one! Thou art my darling and my lord, and Thy poison is sweeter than the kisses of Isis the mother of the Gods!

25.  For Thou art He! Yea, Thou shalt swallow up Asi and Asar, and the children of Ptah. Thou shalt pour forth a flood of poison to destroy the works of the Magician. Only the Destroyer shall devour Thee; Thou shalt blacken his throat, wherein his spirit abideth. Ah, serpent Apep, but I love Thee!

26.  My God! Let Thy secret fang pierce to the marrow of the little secret bone that I have kept against the Day of Vengeance of Hoor-Ra. Let Kheph-Ra sound his sharded drone! let the jackals of Day and Night howl in the wilderness of Time! let the Towers of the Universe totter, and the guardians hasten away! For my Lord hath revealed Himself as a mighty serpent, and my heart is the blood of His body.

27.  I am like a love-sick courtesan of Corinth. I have toyed with kings and captains, and made them my slaves. To-day I am the slave of the little asp of death; and who shall loosen our love?

28.  Weary, weary! saith the scribe, who shall lead me to the sight of the Rapture of my master?

29.  The body is weary and the soul is sore weary and sleep weighs down their eyelids; yet ever abides the sure consciousness of ecstasy, unknown, yet known in that its being is certain. O Lord, be my helper, and bring me to the bliss of the Beloved!

30.  I came to the house of the Beloved, and the wine was like fire that flieth with green wings through the world of waters.

31.  I felt the red lips of nature and the black lips of perfection. Like sisters they fondled me their little brother; they decked me out as a bride; they mounted me for Thy bridal chamber.

32.  They fled away at Thy coming; I was alone before Thee.

33.  I trembled at Thy coming, O my God, for Thy messenger was more terrible than the Death-star.

34.  On the threshold stood the fulminant figure of Evil, the Horror of emptiness, with his ghastly eyes like poisonous wells. He stood, and the chamber was corrupt; the air stank. He was an old and gnarled fish more hideous than the shells of Abaddon.

35.  He enveloped me with his demon tentacles; yea, the eight fears took hold upon me.

36.  But I was anointed with the right sweet oil of the Magister; I slipped from the embrace as a stone from the sling of a boy of the woodlands.

37.  I was smooth and hard as ivory; the horror gat no hold. Then at the noise of the wind of Thy coming he was dissolved away, and the abyss of the great void was unfolded before me.

38.  Across the waveless sea of eternity Thou didst ride with Thy captains and Thy hosts; with Thy chariots and horsemen and spearmen didst Thou travel through the blue.

39.  Before I saw Thee Thou wast already with me; I was smitten through by Thy marvellous spear.

40.  I was stricken as a bird by the bolt of the thunderer; I was pierced as the thief by the Lord of the Garden.

41.  O my Lord, let us sail upon the sea of blood!

42.  There is a deep taint beneath the ineffable bliss; it is the taint of generation.

43.  Yea, though the flower wave bright in the sunshine, the root is deep in the darkness of earth.

44.  Praise to thee, O beautiful dark earth, thou art the mother of a million myriads of myriads of flowers.

45.  Also I beheld my God, and the countenance of Him was a thousandfold brighter than the lightning. Yet in his heart I beheld the slow and dark One, the ancient one, the devourer of His children.

46.  In the height and the abyss, O my beautiful, there is no thing, verily, there is no thing at all, that is not altogether and perfectly fashioned for Thy delight.

47.  Light cleaveth unto Light, and filth to filth; with pride one contemneth another. But not Thou, who art all, and beyond it; who art absolved from the Division of the Shadows.

48.  O day of Eternity, let Thy wave break in foamless glory of sapphire upon the laborious coral of our making!

49.  We have made us a ring of glistening white sand, strewn wisely in the midst of the Delightful Ocean.

50.  Let the palms of brilliance flower upon our island; we shall eat of their fruit, and be glad.

51.  But for me the lustral water, the great ablution, the dissolving of the soul in that resounding abyss.

52.  I have a little son like a wanton goat; my daughter is like an unfledged eaglet; they shall get them fins, that they may swim.

53.  That they may swim, O my beloved, swim far in the warm honey of Thy being, O blessed one, O boy of beatitude!

54.  This heart of mine is girt about with the serpent that devoureth his own coils.

55.  When shall there be an end, O my darling, O when shall the Universe and the Lord thereof be utterly swallowed up?

56.  Nay! who shall devour the Infinite? who shall undo the Wrong of the Beginning?

57.  Thou criest like a white cat upon the roof of the Universe; there is none to answer Thee.

58.  Thou art like a lonely pillar in the midst of the sea; there is none to behold Thee, O Thou who beholdest all!

59.  Thou dost faint, thou dost fail, thou scribe; cried the desolate Voice; but I have filled thee with a wine whose savour thou knowest not.

60.  It shall avail to make drunken the people of the old gray sphere that rolls in the infinite Far-off; they shall lap the wine as dogs that lap the blood of a beautiful courtesan pierced through by the Spear of a swift rider through the city.

61.  I too am the Soul of the desert; thou shalt seek me yet again in the wilderness of sand.

62.  At thy right hand a great lord and a comely; at thy left hand a woman clad in gossamer and gold and having the stars in her hair. Ye shall journey far into a land of pestilence and evil; ye shall encamp in the river of a foolish city forgotten; there shall ye meet with Me.

63.  There will I make Mine habitation; as for bridal will I come bedecked and anointed; there shall the Consummation be accomplished.

64.  O my darling, I also wait for the brilliance of the hour ineffable, when the universe shall be like a girdle for the midst of the ray of our love, extending beyond the permitted end of the endless One.

65.  Then, O thou heart, will I the serpent eat thee wholly up; yea, I will eat thee wholly up.

Love is the law, love under will.

[zmayjewelry]

What is Rose gold, and why do we love it so much? ⁠ 😍⁠ Just like white gold, rose gold can’t be found in nature and is made by combining gold with other metals.⁠ For example, 18K rose gold is composed of 75% gold, 22.25% copper, and 2.75% silver.⁠ The percentage of copper in the alloy determines the final tone of rose that we get. ⁠ .⁠ Its origins date back to the 19th century Russia, but it recently gained in popularity, making it a widely used gold color in all sorts of jewelry. ⁠ Its light pink shade positions it between the modern look of white gold and the traditional feel of yellow gold, making it the preferred choice of those looking for something different.⁠ .⁠ Many love that it blends well with all skin tones, looking more natural and warmer than yellow or white gold. Diamonds set in rose gold stand out and highlight the design, which is why more and more couples are choosing rose gold for their engagement and wedding rings.⁠ .⁠ Another plus of rose gold is that it combines well with white and yellow gold. A combination of white and rose gold is trendy in wedding rings at the moment, and we have more and more demand for bi- and tri-color jewelry every day.⁠ ❤️⁠ We're eager to know what YOU think about Rose Gold, so feel free to leave us a comment below 😉⁠ #zmay #zmayjewelry #visitljubljana⁠ #ljubljana⁠ .⁠ .⁠ .⁠ ⁠#rosegoldjewelry #rosegoldjewellery #jewelrylovers #rosegoldlove #rosegoldengagementring #rosegoldrings #rosegoldnecklace #jewelrymaking #jewelrybox #jewelryart #jewelryfashion #jewelrylovers #jewelryjunkie #jewelrygoals #jewelrystore #jewelryset #jewellerylover #jewelleryinspiration #jewellerycollection #jewellerybrand⁠ #jewelleryofinstagram #jewelrystyle #finejewelrydesign #unikatninakit

[mark6fbroochesqz]

Hailey Bieber And Gal Gadot Model Tiffany’s New Knot Collection - Charm Bracelets For Girlfriend

Hailey Bieber and Gal Gadot glowed as they confirmed off new selections from Tiffany's & Co. on-line Wednesday. Oozing All American glamour, Mrs. Bieber, 24, gazed on the digital camera carrying a platinum bracelet, sparkling ring, and diamond necklace along with a striped rugby tee and baggy blue jeans. The fashionistas went with classic fashion whereas modeling the 'Delicate but powerful' items from the heritage jewellery firm's new knot assortment. Later the mannequin hopped on Instagram to point out one of the items Tiffany's had gifted her. She leaned one arm on the steering wheel of a car whereas tilting her head to the facet to reveal her radiant pores and skin and a piercing stare. The yellow gold Double Row Hinged Bangle - which costs $6900 - glittered whereas hanging from her wrist in a casual selfie. Hailey has quite the particular connection to Tiffany's, who crafted her and husband Justin Bieber's wedding rings. Meanwhile, Gal appeared vacation-chic as she posed on a balcony in entrance of a row of palm bushes and shot a smile to the aspect whereas donning diamonds and gold from Tiffany. The blonde beauty went with a stack of 18 karat gold Tiffany Soleste band ring with diamonds that retails for $3,125 and the Tiffany Soleste 18 karat V ring (additionally with diamonds) for $2,150. And Gal is quite the fan of the corporate as nicely. Justin matched his spouse wearing an 18K gold Tiffany Classic marriage ceremony band ring that prices $950. The bi-colour zoisite center stone is such a unique coloration which you can easily get lost in, generally appearing blue and in different light red. The singer, 39, wore the famed 128.54 carat yellow Tiffany Diamond, in a photoshoot along with her husband Jay Z, changing into simply the fourth feminine - and the primary black lady - to ever put on the gem. Last month, Beyonce was said to have been 'upset and angry' at unknowingly modeling a 'blood diamond' in her new Tiffany & Co. campaign after going through furious on-line backlash. However the chart-topper and the luxurious jewellery model got here below furious fire over the decision to showcase the controversial diamond, with many social media users calling consideration to its contentious historical past and the circumstances under which it was mined. The yellow diamond was found in a colonial mine in Kimberley, South Africa, in 1877 - at a time when the nation, and its mines, were underneath British colonial rule - and when predominantly black migrant staff were subjected to horrific conditions while receiving paltry, and generally no, pay unique bracelets for women in return. The labor was dangerous and unhealthy, with workers compelled to work in cramped situations, usually causing fatal accidents. Traditionally, a blood diamond, also called a battle diamond, is any gem that has been mined and bought with a view to fund navy action in opposition to a government - as defined by the United Nations. However, the term has additionally been utilized to rough gems that have been mined by individuals who have been subjected to the kinds of circumstances that Kimberley miners suffered through the 1870s - as with the Tiffany diamond that Beyonce modeled in her marketing campaign. Conditions outdoors of the mine had been no higher, with the housing for the workers that includes no natural water or waste disposal, with 1,144 dying from a variety of illnesses including pneumonia and scurvy between 1897 and 1899 alone. According to a supply close to Beyonce, the singer was unaware of the diamond's controversial historical past, and has been left outraged over the truth that she was not given more info concerning the gem's background. Beyonce is conscious of the criticism and is upset and angry that she wasn't made conscious of questions about its historical past,' an unnamed insider told The Sun.

[theneptunediaries]

Learn To Undertake Your  Precious Jewellery

During the span of wearing  diamond jewelry, the diamonds will mislay brilliance and develop. When we  wear them, they get smudged or damaged. Even when not wearing them, they tend  to collect particles. The use of lotions, soaps, fragrances and, even our  natural skin oils, can cause necklaces to become filmy and grimy, minimizing  their true brilliance. Get back that brilliance and shine by learning ways to  clean diamond jewels. All it takes is a little bit and a little care to  reinstate your diamonds to their full luster.    The Bezel setting a single of the oldest kinds of diamond setting to be  utilized in wholesale diamonds for sale. In this setting the diamond is held  back prepared by a metal collar or rim bent over diamonds. This setting  offers maximum protection for the diamond and works with any cut. This  setting also hides the imperfections on the inside diamonds and makes it look  bulkier.    Another thing which you have to consider may be the 4C'S of diamond jewellery  wholesalers which stands for carat, cut, colour and clarity. All these four  factors determine the need for diamond. Hence it rrs extremely essential to  have knowledge regarding these four factors.    Some claim that color is actually important than clarity, especially in the  fancy colored precious stones. Color, cut, clarity and carat typical  important regardless of the the color is.    Founded by Simon Tissot Dupont, organization is a designer brand name known  for gadgets that use the trademark of a head-diamond development. This luxury  brand also ventures into collectible pens, stylish lighters and leather  wallets.    It is rightly told me that diamonds are women's supporter. The kind of  affection between diamond and women is so that being with buy  wholesale diamonds,  always thrills teens. Wearing diamond makes them feel confident and very  happy. Let it be on the form of diamond rings, pendants, necklaces or  earrings, they are all as majestic as the previous ones.    Cut: The 'culet' is the tiny point at the foot of the lemon. This should be  of very negligible diameter, or else the light will venture out from the  bottom which decreases light being reflected through the diamond. we know  that the culet otherwise the tapering end of diamonds should be as negligible  as possibly. The narrower the 'culet' superior terms you get grade will be  the diamond.    A central bureau called the BIS (Bureau of Indian Standards) is an Indian  hallmarking office that evaluates all of the national a rightly an  international gold standards and confirms their credibility.

[daggerite]

Buying Pear Cut Diamonds

Diamonds happen to used in  rings given that middle ages, and the first reference a new diamond ring or  engagement ring was in 1477. As a the supernatural powers accredited to  diamonds, they became more popular, and Italians said certain diamond  maintained harmony between husband and wife.    You also must consider the carat of diamond. Diamonds are measured in carats.  But the actual load of diamond stud earrings is produced in TCW which stands  for total carat weight. Generally the diamonds used inside of earrings are of  lower quality. The clarity of diamond proceed earrings isn't as better as  being diamond will be set in pendants and rings. A person must take good care  of your earring as you take care of your other necklaces. You must clean your  diamond stud earring with commercial cleaning product that is produced  specially for the stones. You can also use ultrasonic jewellery cleaners to  fix your Diamond jewellery manufacturers in Surat.    Ask around. Do your own appraisal extremely. You should have the  understanding of the form of diamonds get in your hands. You can check within  the yellow pages for jewelers that accommodate persons who wants to sell  diamond jewelry. Be very patient in looking for a jeweler to ensure that you  will be able to get the exact value to the diamonds. You should ask during 5  jewelers to appraise your Diamond  jewellery manufacturers in india.    If there's a buzzword for your 2012 fall jewelry season, it's  "natural." Fall 2012 jewelry in order to all about nature and  natural ringtones diamond jewellery wholesalers . Designs will be inspired by  animals, flowers, and exotic ethnic sub cultures. Size wise, big will certainly  in, so go for large statement accessories.    The color rating commonly confused making use of fancy colored diamonds. GIA  rates diamond color from a scale of D (colorless) to Z (light yellow). AGS  rates from a scale of 0 (colorless) to 10 (light yellow). Any color that goes  above these ranges comes under fancy color distinction.    Diamonds always be most valuable stones ever. This is definitely a highly  debated key. Some say Emeralds are the more costly and others say can  Alexandrite. Some of the.95-carat Hancock Red diamond holds the record at  $926,000.    A central bureau named the BIS (Bureau of Indian Standards) is actually  Indian hallmarking office that evaluates all the national a proper an  international gold standards and confirms their authenticity.

[beautytreats]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Yellow & Purple Bi Color Tourmaline Quartz Handmade Pendant.

[drowning-out-to-sea]

Buying Pear Cut Diamonds

Diamonds happen to used in  rings given that middle ages, and the first reference a new diamond ring or  engagement ring was in 1477. As a the supernatural powers accredited to  diamonds, they became more popular, and Italians said certain diamond  maintained harmony between husband and wife.    You also must consider the carat of diamond. Diamonds are measured in carats.  But the actual load of diamond stud earrings is produced in TCW which stands  for total carat weight. Generally the diamonds used inside of earrings are of  lower quality. The clarity of diamond proceed earrings isn't as better as  being diamond will be set in pendants and rings. A person must take good care  of your earring as you take care of your other necklaces. You must clean your  diamond stud earring with commercial cleaning product that is produced  specially for the stones. You can also use ultrasonic jewellery cleaners to  fix your Diamond jewellery manufacturers in Surat.    Ask around. Do your own appraisal extremely. You should have the  understanding of the form of diamonds get in your hands. You can check within  the yellow pages for jewelers that accommodate persons who wants to sell  diamond jewelry. Be very patient in looking for a jeweler to ensure that you  will be able to get the exact value to the diamonds. You should ask during 5  jewelers to appraise your Diamond  jewellery manufacturers in india.    If there's a buzzword for your 2012 fall jewelry season, it's  "natural." Fall 2012 jewelry in order to all about nature and  natural ringtones diamond jewellery wholesalers . Designs will be inspired by  animals, flowers, and exotic ethnic sub cultures. Size wise, big will certainly  in, so go for large statement accessories.    The color rating commonly confused making use of fancy colored diamonds. GIA  rates diamond color from a scale of D (colorless) to Z (light yellow). AGS  rates from a scale of 0 (colorless) to 10 (light yellow). Any color that goes  above these ranges comes under fancy color distinction.    Diamonds always be most valuable stones ever. This is definitely a highly  debated key. Some say Emeralds are the more costly and others say can  Alexandrite. Some of the.95-carat Hancock Red diamond holds the record at  $926,000.    A central bureau named the BIS (Bureau of Indian Standards) is actually  Indian hallmarking office that evaluates all the national a proper an  international gold standards and confirms their authenticity.

[gems-hube]

14K Solid White Gold Mens Ring 0.12 Ct Natural Diamond Engagement Band

14K Solid White Gold Mens Ring 0.12 Ct Natural Diamond Engagement Band

Item Specification: Total Carat Weight – 0.12 Carat Metal Type – Real, Solid White Gold Metal Purity – 14K Metal Authenticity – BIS Hallmarked Stamp Diamond Type – Natural, Real Diamond Clarity – SI1 Diamond Color – I-J Diamond Cut – Excellent

[aquagemsau]

Wants to Buy Tourmaline Gemstone?

Aqua Gems Jewels knows that tourmaline gemstone has become an increasingly popular jewelry choice because this semi-precious gem is available in an appealing array of colors. In addition, tourmaline is said to have a special detoxifying effect on the body of anyone who wears it on a regular basis. The name tourmaline means stone mixed with vibrant colors. There are some individuals who like wearing a tourmaline ring because they believe that the stone carries with it magical protective powers that it imparts to the wearer. Rings made of tourmaline are available in pink tourmaline and green tourmaline, often accompanied in settings which incorporate diamonds or diamond chips to complement the use of tourmaline as the main gemstone in the ring. A quality made ring featuring green tourmaline rivals even the finest emerald rings for color and clarity. Both green and pink tourmaline stones can be included in tanzanite rings so that the rings highlight the blue tanzanite stone against the vibrant green and pink tourmaline gems, making for a stunning jewelry design. 

Because tourmaline gemstone has been known to change color depending upon the light surrounding it, it is a favorite gemstone to use paired with other gemstones for use in emerald rings and tanzanite rings. When used in the company of other gemstones, it becomes a chameleon of color, changing its look depending upon how the existing light hits the stone in the company of other gemstones in the same setting. There is an increasing body of evidence that those individuals who wear a tourmaline ring benefit by experiencing decreased levels of daily stress, in addition to strengthening the body's immune system because of the negative ions that the tourmaline semi-precious stone emits. Many individuals purchase and wear a tourmaline ring because it helps to increase their mental abilities and alertness in addition to increasing the body's circulation to assist in health and healing. Tourmaline rings are available in round cut, emerald cut and rectangular shapes, in addition to smooth. Because tourmaline gemstones easily emit negative ions and far infrared rays, this action also helps to detoxify both the body's bloodstream and major vital organs. 

Tourmaline gemstone is both a beautiful as well as practical piece of jewelry for wearing in crowded metropolitan environments where pollution and negative energy can depress an individual's immune system and ability to heal. The tourmaline gemstones belong to the crystal system and appear as long slender elongated and heavily streaked pieces of stone. It is easily distinguished as unlike other gemstone it has three sided prisms. Tourmaline range in color from red to green and from blue to yellow and some even has two or more colors. Some can change color when moved from natural to artificial light and others can have a cat's eye appearance. Depending from which angle you view the gemstone the color may vary or the shade become more or less intense. When a cutter is preparing to cut a stone he must pay particular attention as the color is most intense when being looked at towards the main axis. Tourmaline gemstone is a durable stone with hardness. There are different names for different pieces. Using the natural elongated shape of this stone some amazing styles of pendant and drop earring can be purchased or made to your own specifications, for example a pillar of black tourmaline with a gold chain gives a look of quality and class especially when used with matching earrings worked a smaller stone. Beautiful dangling bi-color stone earrings with diamonds top and bottom, Victorian style rings and broaches using whatever color tourmaline takes your fancy. So, if you are looking for best quality tourmaline gemstone then contact Aqua Gems Jewels.

[dd-diamonds]

Presenting you the range of natural fancy color diamonds, as who doesn't love fancy color diamonds! ✨✨✨ An 18K Gold Ring Heart Shape *GIA Certified* Yellow Diamond at the centre, surrounded by hallo of Round Yellow Diamonds and Round White Diamonds of G-H color. • • • ✨ If you're not satisfied, we're not satisfied -> 30 Days Money Back Guarantee on your next order. ✨ Get Flat ₹ 500/- off on all prepaid orders now! ✨ Lifetime exchange and buyback option with every order. • • Drop a DM for more details 💎 BIS Hallmarked 💎 Pan-India FREE Shipping 💎 Laboratory Certified Diamonds • • • • • • #DDDiamonds #DiamondRing #CushionCutDiamond #CushionCut #FancyColorDiamonds #YellowDiamonds #whitegold #statementring #engagementring #solitairering #solitaire #Ring #BudgetJewellery #Diamond #jewelsofinstagram #certifieddiamondjewelry #diamondjewellery #diamondjewelleryindia #certifieddiamondjewellery #jewellerydesign #jewelry #indianwedding #diamondjewellery💎 #diamondjewellerymumbai #diamondjewellerydelhi #diamondjewellerydesigns #jewelrydesign #finejewelry #DD_Diamonds #AJewellerYouCanTrust (at New Delhi, India) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEOpXhdFyJR/?igshid=dac09kviev9c

[jeillan]

Opal rings for women • 14k Gold Ring with White Opal Stone • Opal Engagement ring • Dainty Opal Ring Rose gold by Jeillan https://ift.tt/2yhyWY1

209.00 USD

Opal rings for women , 14k Gold Ring with White Opal Stone , Opal Engagement ring , Dainty Opal Ring Rose gold. Oval cut Opal stone , 14k gold beautiful four prong setting. Personalize your ring center stone with the birthstone of your choice . We will also crafting the ring's 14 k gold color according to your request in gold, white gold or rose gold. Also I can craft this ring with your Birthstone or diamond.✔️ ◈ Jewelry style Stackable Opal ring. ◈ Stone Type Oval cut Opal stone ◈ Stone Color White, Bi color ◈ Stone Shape Oval ◈ Stone dimensions : 6.00 mm x 4.00 mm ◈ Metal Type Genuine Gold ◈ Metal Finish Polished ◈ White Gold Fineness 14 Karat / 585 stamped ◈ Hypoallergenic, lead free, nickel free, eco-friendly material %100 Natural & Genuine ✔️ %100 Handmade ✔️ %100 Customer Satisfaction ✔️ ✶If you have any questions we will gladly and quickly reply. This beautiful jewelry is made to order, shipped in 1 - 3 business days. ✶Complimentary Express Shipping with DHL, UPS or FEDEX 1-3 days to US ❗ ✶Complimentary elegant packed lush gift box included, Ready for Gift giving ✔️ Kindly, check our other handcrafted jewelry☀️ JEILLAN™ FINE JEWELRY Home page • https://ift.tt/2TEuDyy On sale jewelry ➖ https://etsy.me/2kyJbAs Diamond Necklaces ➖ https://etsy.me/2k4cT00 Diamond Earrings ➖ https://etsy.me/2QbqaS5 Diamond Bracelets ➖ https://etsy.me/2X5vKXN Diamond Rings ➖ https://etsy.me/2m3SdG5 Gemstone Rings ➖ https://etsy.me/2m7mhAV Gold rings ➖ https://etsy.me/2CDGS4A ✶Do not forget! Click and add "Jeillan" to your favorite shops for updates. Thank You For shop with Jeillan™ :) 💕

[liannejewelry]

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[beautytreats]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Bi Color Tourmaline Gemstone Chunky Handmade Pendant.

[lindseyluvsdrag]

Afterbirth Pt. 2 (final)

At around one in the afternoon, Violet stiffly sat up,  frowning when she didn't see Matt next to her. She figured that the man was downstairs so she opted for showering and doing her hair before she descended them.

Matt and Clark were nowhere to be found, but there was a note stuck to the refrigerator explaining why.

“Gone to the park, be back soon. Love, Matt and Clark,” Violet read aloud before wrinkling her nose. “The park, huh? Someone will need a bleach bath when she gets home.”

---

Clark pressed her face against the jewelry store display case. “Oooo, I like this oneeee. It's so shiny!”

Matt looked at the emerald green gem set in white gold. “Do you like that ring for Mommy or for you?”

“Me,” she said with a giggle. “It looks like kryptonite.”

“Hmm, it does look like kryptonite. But we don't want to give her kryptonite, do we?”

“Nah,” the toddler sighed as she continued to look.

“What about this one, boo?”

Clark shook her head in distaste. “Too small. Mommy likes her diamonds the way she likes her men: bi-”

Matt covered his daughter's mouth with his hand. “Hey! Where did you hear that?!”

The girl's response was muffled by his palm so he moved his hand.

“I heard Mommy say it to Aunt Naomi.”

The man groaned. “Well, don't say that, okay?”

She frowned. “Why not?”

“Because it means something bad.”

“Oh...okay,” she chirped as she turned her attention back to the rings.

“How is this one?” he asked, pointing at the simple, solitaire diamond.

“No, Daddy, no! Do you not understand what Mommy likes at all?!”

---

“P.S. we left you some breakfast in the fridge,” Violet discovered as she continued to read the note. “Aww.”

The woman opened the refrigerator and smiled. The food tray supported a plate of pancakes, bacon, eggs and a slim glass vase that held a single red rose.

“How cute.”

---

“How ugly!” Clark groaned.

“What? What's wrong with this one?” Matt asked.

“I don't like the little swirly thingssss.”

“They're called paisleys.”

Clark scoffed. “That's not a cute name and I still don't like them.”

“Okay, I'm done with you, little lady. You don't like anything and-”

Clark slammed her hands and face against the glass. “This one, Daddy,” she said as if she was in a trance. “This is it.”

Matt caught a glimpse of the ring and couldn't believe in his daughter's taste in jewelry. “That's actually really nice, Clark. Excuse me? Can we look at this ring?”

“Sure,” the jeweler responded as she unlocked  the glass display, slid it open and grabbed the ring from its case. She handed over the selected piece.

“Wow…” Matt exhaled as he examined it. “This looks like the-”

“Power gem,” he and Clark said collectively.

“It's an Alexandrite, one of the rarest of all the natural gemstones,” the employee informed. “It's famed for having the ability to change its color. From green in daylight to red under incandescent lighting.”

“Holy shit. So what color would you consider it now?”

“It's a mix of the two.”

“That's amazing. And I love how the prongs look like claws.”

“I like the Power gem,” Clark chirped.

“Same.”

“Alexandrite is very popular because it's also the June birthstone,” the jeweler added.

Clark gasped. “Mommy's birthday is in June! And mine too!”

“This couldn't be anymore perfect,” Matt admitted. “We'll take it.”

“Yayyyy,” Clark cheered. “Mommy will love it!”

“Yeah, so you have to keep this a secret, okay?”

“Okay!”

The jeweler smiled. “And how would you like to pay for this? We offer discounts on cash purchases.”

“Oh... I didn't even think about the price. How much is it?”

“A natural two carat Alexandrite surrounded by  diamonds and set in platinum will run you about $28,000.”

It was the last thing that Matt heard before he hit the floor in a loud thump after fainting. Minutes later, he awoke to the toddler sitting on his chest as she slapped his face with her tiny hands.

“Hmm?” Matt humed. “You want pancakes?”

“No, Daddy, get up! You're making a scene,” she whispered.

Matt slowly lifted his eyelids and saw Clark's vivid blue eyes staring back at him with a frown while  the frantic jeweler continued to speak into the phone.

“Oh, no it's okay. Yes. He's awake now. Thank you, bye. Sir, are you okay?”

“I think so,” he groaned. “What happened?”

“You fainted when you heard the price of Mommy's ring,” Clark informed.

“Fuck- I mean, fudge,” the man groaned as he sat up and grabbed the girl. “I can't afford that price.”

“With a cash payment, I can get you down to $22,000,” the jeweler offered.

“Yeah, because that's just so much cheaper,” he said sarcastically. “Let's go, Clark.”

The girl frowned. “But what about a ring for Mommy?”

“I'll get her something out of the quarter machine.”

“Ughhhh! Why are you being so cheat?!”

“Cheat?”

“Yes! Mommy likes nice things!”

“I know and so do you, little lady. Why do you think I'm so broke now?” He grabbed the small lapels of her blouse. “This doesn't come cheap.”

Clark rolled her eyes.

“Don't get grumpy on me.”

She folded her arms.

“We're at the mall, want a soft pretzel?”

Any trace of Grumpy Clark quickly faded away. “Yes!”

She grabbed her father's hand and skipped out of the store with him.

---

“When I originally wanted to propose to your mom, I looked everywhere before deciding to go with a custom ring. The custom ring didn't even cost $1000. How do you expect me to pay $28,000 for a ring now?”

“Because it's cute,” Clark said simply as she stuffed the cinnamon sugar coated dough into her mouth.

“Well, so am I but you don't see me being all high maintenance.”

“We could sell lemonade for the money,” the girl suggested.

“Do you know how much lemonade we'd have to sell to make $28,000?”

“A lot?”

“Yeah. It'd probably take us years.”

“I don't mind.”

“You don't?”

“Nope. If it's for you or Mommy, I'd do it.”

Matt's heart melted. “Okay, Clark. You ready to get out of here?”

Clark nodded. “I'm sure Mommy misses us.”

“If she's even awake yet,” he smugly mumbled to himself.

---

After her breakfast, Violet flung herself onto the couch with her cellphone in hand.

“Awww, that sounds like so much funnnn,” she whined. “Why couldn't I have gone on your honeymoon with youuuu? Yeah, you're right. I don't want to see either of your vaginas.”

Matt and Clark entered the home and the girl skipped over to her mother.

“Hi, sweetheart! Yeah, Clark is here…Aunt Naomi says ‘greetings from Venice’.”

“Hi, Aunt Naomi! Can I talk to her?”

“In a second. We're discussing something important. No, Naomi, I don't care if it's a surgically manufactured vagina. Perfect or not, I don't wanna see your pussy.”

Matt saw Clark wrinkle her nose as she processed the new word. The man grabbed Violet's phone and placed it to his ear.

“What th-”

“Hey, Naomi,” he greeted. “Violet will call you back,” the man said as he hung up.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” Violet demanded. “She just found good signal!”

“Clark, ears,” he ordered.

The toddler covered her ears with her hands before Matt turned his attention back to the woman. “You really need watch what you say in front of her because apparently, 'Mommy likes her dia-’” the man paused. He didn't want to reveal what they'd done that day so he swiftly reiterated. “She basically insinuated that you like big men.”

“She isn't wrong,” Violet retorted just to get under the man's skin for hanging up on her friend.

“Don't curse or say inappropriate things around her.”

“She knows better than to repeat curse words, and if she hears anything bad, oh well, she needs to learn how to censor herself and whatnot  before school starts... and...why are you looking at me like that?”

“Cause I'm not fucking playing with you,” he snarled. “Watch what you say around my daughter.”

Violet had two options. She could remind the man that Clark was her daughter too and start a big argument about it or admit that she found agressive Matt sexy and obey whatever he had to say.

“Clark, go to your room,” Violet ordered.

The second that the girl was up the stairs, Matt was prepared for a fight, so when Violet threw her arms around his neck he nearly flipped the woman over before he realized that she was kissing him.

He appreciated the gesture, but the man wasn't ready to let her off of the hook just yet. “You better watch what you say in front of my baby.”

“Okayyy, Mr. Lent. I sent her to her room because I didn't want her to see how much I love her daddy's dick,” she said as she sank to her knees.

“Noooo,” Matt whispered. “She could come back down.”

“Clark, stay in your room!”

“Yes, Mommy!”

“Alright, wai-” he got out before throwing his head back in pleasure when Violet cleaned his penis with a sanitary wipe before sliding it into her mouth.

The woman knew exactly what she was doing when she sucked in her cheeks around the man's shaft while she deep throated him. One of her hands stroked the base of his dick as the other hand massaged his balls.

“Fuckkk,” Matt moaned. He placed both of his hands on Violet's head, aiding in his pleasure as he guided her along his cock.

“Mmmm,” she hummed around him.

“Ooo,” he groaned as he attempted to make his way towards the couch.

“You know your man buns aren't allowed on my couch,” Violet reminded.

“But my knees are buckling,” he panted.

“I don't care, Matthew. Just stand here and accept the fucking blowjob.”

The man had no further complaints as Violet slipped his cock back into her mouth and did what he considered to be pure magic. And once she did that particular thing that she does when she's feeling generous, Matt knew that he wouldn't last much longer.

“Babe, I'm gonna come,” he grunted.

Violet swiftly pulled away. “Go, go, go,” she ordered.

Due to the fact that Matt wasn't allowed to finish anywhere near Violet without a condom, the man rushed into the nearest bathroom and shot his load of cum into the toilet.

“Shit.”

Violet approached from behind and kissed his neck. “I love youuuu.” She looked into the toilet and grimaced. “Eww, flush ittttt,” she squealed before rushing off.

Matt grinned. “They'll survive this. They're strong swimmers.”

“Matthewwww, stopppppp. You're going to give me cum nightmares.”

The man laughed as he flushed the toilet then exited the bathroom. “So if I asked you to swallow, you wouldn't?”

Violet frowned. “But why would you ask me to swallow if you know it freaks me outttt?”

“I’m just saying.”

She cringed. “You'd have to buy me a Birkin bag and some goddamn Giuseppes if you want that to happen.”

“I don't know what either of those things are but noted. Andddd...what if I wanted another baby?”

The woman's eyes grew wide.

“Okay, okay. I'm not saying that I do. But in an alternate universe in a hypothetical situation, if I wanted a second child, would you be willing to let that happen?”

“You mean get fat and hormonal and crazy and risk stretch marks all over again?

Matt sighed. “I'm sorry for asking.” He made his way towards the stairs.

“Matthew.”

He stopped.

“If you wanted another child... I'd gain the weight and get crazy and risk stretch marks for it...for you. I have an amazing daughter with you and um-ugh, why I am getting emotional?” she sniffled as she fanned her eyes with her hands. “I love you and in an alternate universe, in a hypothetical situation, if that's what you wanted, I'd be willing to sacrifice my thighs.”

At that moment, Matt knew that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He approached her and took her lips against his. “I love you.”

She smiled. “I love you too.”

Matt rubbed his forehead as several thoughts hit him at once. “I'll get started on dinner. You call Naomi and apologize to her for me again. Um, and I'll start dinner.”

“You already said that,” Violet giggled as she watched the seemingly anxious man.

“Okay, then, I'll get Clark washed up.”

“No, I'll do it. I want to scrub that park air off of her.”

“Fine, but I need to talk to her about something first.”

“Oh, yeah? About what?”

“Um...ugh.. the dangers of opting for a thirty year mortgage,” he rushed.

The woman was perplexed but decided not to question the man. “Alright, well have fun. I'll run her bath water.”

“Okay.” Matt continued to stare at Violet through lovey-dovey eyes as he blindly reached for the first stair step which he missed, causing him to nearly fall on his face. The man saved himself by gripping the railing, casually playing it off with ease while he turned back to the woman. “I love you,” he said smoothly.

Violet giggled and watched as the man rushed up the stairs without any further slip ups.

He rushed into his daughter's bedroom and noticed that the girl wore nothing but her underwear, goggles and her favorite cape as she dashed around the room.

“Clark, where are your- nevermind. I need your help getting Mommy out of the house.”

“My name isn't Clark, it's Super Clark!” she declared as she jumped from the bed to the cushioned rocking chair that was salvaged from her nursery days.

“Okay, well, Super Clark. I need you to get your mother out of the house tonight. Tell her you want to go to Auntie Rose's house with her because they have a pool.”

“But I don't want to swim right now.”

“Clark,” he groaned in exasperation.

“It’s Super Clark!”

Before the man could promise her cookies in exchange for her help, Violet called the girl for her bath. Clark grabbed her Avenger's towel from the closet and rushed into the bathroom at the same time that Matt was hit with an idea so brilliant that it made his smile curl in a way that could be comparable to the Grinch.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!” he shouted as he sprinted down the hallway.

A concerned Violet rushed out to meet him. “What's wrong?”

“I saw a spider! A huge spider!”

“Well, did you kill it?!”

“No! It got away! I swore I saw it heading towards your cleaning closet!”

The woman's eyes grew wide in horror. “Matthew! Please, go find it!”

“I will but until then, it's not safe for you and Clark to be here. You know what they say about bugs? Seeing one just means that there's 1,000 more lurking around.”

The woman's eyes began to well up. “Matthew, please, stop,” she sniveled.

“I'm just being honest, babe. It looked poisonous. You and Clark need to go to Rose's house while I hunt it down or call an exterminator or something.”

“Okay,” she practically sobbed. “Clark!”

“That's Super Clark, to you!”

“Come on, sweetheart, we have to go!” Violet quickly rushed into the bathroom and secured her daughter in towels until nothing but her eyes showed through the cloth cocoon. “We have to go,” her mother sniffled.

The man felt bad for lying and making Violet cry, but he knew that it'd all be worth it when his plan was thoroughly executed.

“It's gonna be okay, babe,” he said as he kissed her quivering lips. “I'll call you when I find it.”

Clark said something but it was muffled by her cocoon.

Matt lowered the cloth around her lips. “What'd you say?”

“I'm Super Clar-” she returned to being muffled when Matt pulled the towel back over her mouth.

“I love you so much,” Violet declared. “Be careful.”

“I love you too. I will- oh my God, is that it?!” he shouted as he pointed.

The woman didn't even turn to look before she bolted down the stairs and out of the front door, shrieking at the top of her lungs all the while.

Matt didn't know whether to feel bad or laugh, but he didn't waste time making his way to the storage closet to retrieve all of the boxes labeled 'Christmas’.

---

When the distraught Violet arrived at Rose's house, she bathed her daughter and dressed her spare clothing that she kept there prior to telling her sister the entire situation at hand.

“Wow, that's crazy.”

“I know right,” she said as she wiped her eyes. “Matthew is so chivalrous.”

“I don't know about chi-”

“He is very chivalrous!” Violet defended. “Any man who'd risk his life against an army of a 1000 poisonous spiders is a fucking hero.”

Rose rolled her eyes as Violet continued her rant.

“He protects me. He protects Clark. He's a great father. He knows how to fuck.”

“TMI.”

“I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“But does he even feel the same way? Why hasn't he proposed yet?”

“I don't know. Maybe because he's scared. But hell, I don't want to wait any longer.” Violet pushed herself off of the couch and grabbed her car keys.

“Where are you going?” Rose asked.

“To the jewelry store. I'm going to propose to him.”

---

When Violet returned Rose still couldn't believe what her sister had said before rushing out of the front door. She palmed the woman's forehead.

“Are you sick?”

“Noooo, Rose. I'm in loveeee.”

“You're delusional! Chachki women don't chase men, okay? They chase us.”

“But I wanna be marriedddd. Why can't I be married like you?”

“You can if you'd wait.”

“I can't wait seven years like you did, Rose. I love him,” she said laughing through her tears. “I need to be his wifeeee.”

Rose was convinced that her sister had finally snapped. “Do I need to call Dr. Francis?”

Violet scoffed. “No! You don't need to call our childhood therapist!” She paused and placed a finger on her chin. “Unless he does premarital counseling.”

Rose grabbed her younger sister by the shoulders and began to shake her. “Snap out of it!”

“Oh, Rose, he snaps me in and out of it all night longggg. I mean, I'm just starting to get the feeling back in my toes from last night and I may need a wheelchair soon.”

The woman groaned. “He's untrustworthy! He was married and didn't even tell you. Do you even know if he got a divorce? How do you know he didn't lie about that too?!”

Violet frowned. “You may have a point.”

“Ya think?!”

The woman pulled out her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Calling him. I'm going to make him assure me that he's divorced.”

Rose snatched her sister's cellphone. “You can't ask him! He's the liar in this situation.”

“Then who am I supposed to ask, Rose?!”

“The wife!”

---

It wasn't hard to find Shea's cellphone number seeing as how she tagged every other Facebook post with #goingouttonight #hmu #3239876542 #bringblunts.

Violet anxiously gnawed on the inside of her cheek as she dialed the number and waited for a response.

“Thank you for calling Shea's spank bank, you jerk it, I slurp it. How may I help you?”

Violet doubled checked her phone to ensure that she'd dialed the right number.

“Hello?” Shea asked.

“Um, hello? Shea?”

“The one and only. Who is this?”

“It's Violet.”

Shea knew exactly who the woman was but she quickly decided that acknowledging that fact wouldn't be any fun. “Who?”

“Violet Chachki, Matthew’s girlfriend.”

“Violet... Violet…” Shea pondered. “The blonde? You know Matty just has so many bitches.”

The woman huffed. “No, the brunette who you were so obsessed with that you decided to print my picture on your crop top.”

“Ooooh, you! Hi, my dear, how are you?”

“I’m fine. I have a question fo-”

“You aren't going to reciprocate and ask how I am?! How rude!”

Violet rolled her eyes. “How are you, Shea?”

“I'm amazingggg. How are you?”

“I'm- you already asked me that.”

The woman laughed. “Just making sureeee.”

“I have a very direct question to ask you.”

“Yes, Violet. Yes, I will have sex with you,” she responded. “Absolutely.”

“Wha- no! Are you and Matthew still married?”

“Hmm, he didn't tell you?”

“He told me that the papers were signed but I never got a status update. Were the papers filed? I have reasonable doubt because, now that I think about it, he never celebrated the ‘official divorce’ and it's just weird.”

“Interesting. Matty is such a devious little thing, isn't he?”

“Um, I guess- wait, what? No, he's amazing and I want to marry him.”

Shea raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? How are the polygamy laws in New York?”

Violet frowned. “So, you are still married?”

“Meet me for lunch tomorrow and I'll reveal all,” she said before hanging up.

“Ugh,” Violet groaned. “This bitch is literally a psychopath.”

“What did she say?” Rose asked.

“She wants me to meet with her so that she can 'reveal all’.”

“What is there to tell?! Are they divorced or not?!”

“I don't knowww,” Violet whined.

“Well, you're definitely not meeting her by yourself. Let's find some badass outfits and meet this bitch Chachki style.”

---

“Is this the beginning...or the end?” Matt grumbled to himself as he plugged one end of the Christmas lights into another end. “Fuck!” he squealed like a teenage girl when it zapped him.

---

“Super Clark doesn't go to bed!” the toddler shouted as she dashed through her aunt's house in nothing but her underwear and flowing cape.

“Clark, get over here, now!” Violet demanded. “Put your clothes back on!”

“Never, evildoer!”

---

Matt sifted through the box of ornaments. He grabbed the purple crystal one and read the writing that was printed on the front. “Violet's first Christmas. Aww.” The man approached the tree and placed the ornament on a weak branch that sent the glass crashing to the floor when he let go. “Shit. Well...she won't notice if it's missing.”

---

“Evil...pure...evil,” Clark grumbled in a weak voice while her mother rocked her as if she was newborn again. It was a surefire way to put the girl to sleep, but only if you could catch her first. After several minutes of missing the child that was faster than a speeding bullet, Violet used the blanket as if it was a net, dropping it over the girl's head to distract her long enough to catch her daughter into her arms prior to rhythmically cradling her.

“I'm not evil,” Violet replied as she kissed the girl's cheek.

“Mm hmmm. You fight with the worst kryptonite, villain. My one...true... weakness.”

“What’s your one true weakness?”

“Bedtime,” she whispered, stifling a yawn.

Violet smiled. “Noted.”

---

Matt seductively twirled the silver garland to the music.

“Santa babyyyyyyy, I really-” he jumped when his phone began to ring. The man was swift to pause the music and answer the call when he realized that it was Violet. “I haven't found the spider, don't come home yet!”

“I wasn't planning on it,” she replied, forcing herself to hold back on asking him about his divorce. “I finally got Super Clark to go to bed.”

“Oh, damn that's like climbing Mount Everest. Super Clark is difficult.”

“Difficult but not impossible.”

“Yeah. How are you feeling?”

“I'm alright. How are you, baby?”

Matt yawned. “I'm tired but I will survive.”

“You better. I can't raise Super Clark on my own.”

“You don't have to.”

Violet smiled. “Alrighty, sleepyhead. I love you.”

“And I love you, snuggle muffin,” he said in exaggerated adoration.

The woman laughed. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Matt hung up the phone and pressed play on his music. “Santa babyyy, hurry down the chimney tonighttttt.”

---

“Have you spoken to Matthew about this?” Rose asked her sister as they strutted down the New York sidewalk in their nude pumps, designer jeans and chic tops: a plunging neckline for Rose and a crop top paired with a thin blazer for Violet.

“No. What good would that do?”

“None. Just making sure you didn't fold under the pressure of talking to your 'boo-bear’.”

Violet scoffed. “Never. Here it is, put your game face on.”

The sisters were purposefully fashionably late to lunch just so they could make their entrance grand. They created their own wind as they walked seemingly in slow motion towards where Shea was seated. For extra flair, Violet flipped her hair, but it was so exaggerated that the woman lost her balance and went crashing to the floor.

While she attempted to recover, Shea clapped.

“Yes!” the woman cheered in delight. “You better werkkkk, crash and burn! Can't even turnnnn!  Leave those skid marks on the runwayyyy!”

“Shut up,” Violet hissed as she dusted herself off.

“Oh, don't be like that. I'm sure they have great career opportunities for crash test dummies.”

“Hey,” Rose interjected. “Don't talk to my sister like that. We came here to get information, clearly the only thing you're good for. Now tell us, are and Matthew divorced or not?” she demanded.

“Aww, you're the sister? Yeah, I can totally see the family resemblance...except you looked more alike with that pregnancy weight on you.”

“Did this bitch really just come for me?” Rose asked Violet.

“Hey, hey, calm that shit down,” Shea replied. “Have a seat. Act like ladies.”

Rose gritted her teeth but obliged, sitting across from the woman, followed by Violet.

“Well?” Rose impatiently asked. “Are you still legally married to Matthew?”

“Are you her lawyer?”

“No, I'm her big sister and I won't let anyone hurt her. Especially not some ex of Matthew’s.”

“Are you so sure that I'm an ex, though?”

“Well if you'd answer the fucking question, we'd know!”

“You have one more time to holler at me,” Shea warned.

“Is that a threat?” Violet snarled.

“Absofuckinglutely! Nobody is going to talk to me like they're crazy and just get away with it!”

“We asked you a simple fucking question!” Violet retorted. “Answer it so we can get the fuck away from you so you don't have to be so bothered and upset!”

Shea slowly raised an eyebrow and glided a finger over her hair in a manner so sharp that the motion should've been paired with the cracking of a whip. “Do I look upset to you?” she asked nonchalantly.

“You clearly are,” Violet replied.

Shea popped her lips. “Never. Especially not by a baby mama. Oh, by the way, how is the little accident?”

Without warning, Violet threw Shea's own drink into the woman's face before lunging at her. She wasn't able to do any damage before the restaurant's manager pulled her off. Rose jumped in, swung at Shea and missed her face by several inches but Shea was swift with her blows and managed to get in two punches before they were separated by more restaurant staff.

“Don't you ever, ever in your fucking life mention my fucking daughter again!” Violet snarled as she clawed at the manager's arms in attempt to free herself. “I'll catch a charge for my baby! I'm not the one to mess with!”

“Then let's go to prison, bitch!” Shea fumed. “With your weak ass, always throwing drinks! Throw hands like a real bitch since you think you're so fucking tough! I should've beat your ass when Matty told me that you punched him! If you touch another hair on his head, you best believe that I'll stomp your ass!”

“My relationship has nothing to do with you, bitch!”

“Then why is he still hitting up my phone?! Every time he's mad at you, he calls me! Just the other day, he told me to dump my boyfriend so that we can be together again!”

Violet was bothered by the statement, but she'd never let another woman see her sweat. “Bitch you're a joke! He told that me you're just an easy piece of ass to go to because all you do is spread your legs! You're giving it up like free samples, of course he's gonna call you when he's mad at me! What man wouldn't, you fucking whore!”

The shouting match continued until the staff practically dragged Rose and Violet of the restaurant, ensuring that they were gone before releasing Shea.

“Ugh! Stupid bitch!” Violet fumed, punching the steering wheel of her car as she drove. “I can't believe she had the audacity to come for Clark!”

Rose stared at her reflection, examining her bruised eye and swollen, puffy lips. “Ugh, I'm going to have a shiner for at least two weeks. But my lips actually don't look half bad. I've always wanted to get them done and this is totally like a free trial.”

“Rose, would you shut up about your lips?! I'm having a crisis and you're not helping!”

“They look really good,” she sighed before closing the mirror. “That bitch was way out of line.”

Violet sped through traffic and burnt rubber as she pulled into her driveway. Before Rose could protest, her sister rushed out of the car and towards the house. She stormed inside and paused when she saw that the place was decked out in Christmas decor. “Matthew!”

The man dropped the icing bag that he was using to decorate the gingerbread house and rushed into the foyer. “Babe, what are you doing here?”

“What am I doing?! What are you doing in your boxers and an elf apron?! You know what? I don't even want to know. Answer this: are you and Shea officially divorced?”

Matt made a face. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!”

“Of course, I'm divorced. We've been officially divorced for over two years now. You okay? Why would you even ask me that?”

Violet exhaled in relief as she doubled over. “Ugh, how could I feed into this dumb shit?”

“What dumb shit?”

The woman snapped back up. “Nothing. Why is the house decorated like this, Matthew? It's April.”

Matt groaned. “I was trying to surprise you.”

“Surprise me with Christmas?”

The man sighed, grabbed Violet's hand and lead her into the living room. “This is exactly how the house was decorated two Christmases ago...when I wanted to propose to you.”

Violet's eyes grew wide. “I knew it! You asked for my ring size and I was so excited but you never proposed-”

“Because I overheard you wishing that Clark wasn't mine,” he reminded.

“And I've apologized for that. I didn't mean it.”

Matt smiled at the classic defense line. “So I was wondering if we could do this Christmas thing all over again?”

“Yes! I'll call all of my family over. Rose is already in the car.”

“Where's Clark?”

“At Rose's house.”

He made a face. “Why'd you leave her?”

“I had something to do,” she rushed. “I'll go get her now.”

“I'll put some clothes on.”

“Good idea,” Violet said, stealing a kiss prior to  rushing out of the front door.

Before Matt could go up the stairs, his phone began to ring. He grabbed the device and was surprised to see Shea's number flashing across the screen.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Matthew James Lent, I'm only going to say this once: unless you want her to die, keep your motherfucking baby mama in check.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“First off, she called me asking if you and I were still married, I'm like ‘the fuck? Do you seriously not know if your man is divorced? Ask him!’ But since she called me, I decided to fuck with her, ya know? So I invited her out to lunch today and she shows up looking like a clumsy mess with her sister and they instantly start to come at me big, bold and crazy and you knowww I don't tolerate that shit. I can admit to getting bitchy and defensive and yes, I told her I'd never be threatened by someone's baby mama and I asked her how was the little accident.”

“What the hell, Shea,” Matt snapped back.

“I know, I know. I'm sorry for what I said. I love you and your baby is so beautiful, but Violet and her sister pushed too far, so I pushed back.”

“Why would she meet up with you about our divorce when- you know, she just asked me about it a few minutes ago and she didn't even mention anything about seeing you.”

“That's because she's sneaky as fuck. If she had to admit to seeing me, she'd have to admit that she didn't trust you enough to ask in the first place.”

“Wow.”

“And I'm calling you to apologize about what I said about the baby, I'd never want that to get back to you as something malicious. She's sneaky and she's a liar. After I told her that I'd beat her ass if she hit you again, she came back with 'Matt only talks to you because you're easy and if he's mad at me your legs are always open’.”

He scoffed. “You know that's not true.”

“I know it isn't but the fact that she'd just throw that in there means she's really insecure. Fix that shit, honey.”

“Pfft, I can't control how she feels, but this going back and forth, 'he said, she said’ shit is about to end.”

“Alright. Well, I love you, Matty.”

“I want to set up a meeting with both of you.”

“Ugh, I hate you, Matty.”

---

When Violet returned with her family, the woman swore that she was experiencing a Deja Vu moment from the Christmas two years ago. Matt was expressionless as he sat by the fireplace sipping his eggnog.

“Hey, baby,” she said in attempt to break the ice.

“We need to talk.”

Violet gulped. “We do?”

“Matty, these cookies are dry as fuck,” Shea complained as she rounded the corner back into living room. “Bleh.”

“What the fuck is she doing here?!”

“I'm moving in,” the other woman lied just to get under Violet's skin.

“Matthew!”

“She's not actually moving in but you really should explain to me why you went to her, asking about my divorce. Why didn't you ask me?”

“Umm... I-” she stammered until Clark rushed over.

The small child gasped as she took in all of the decor. “Daddy, did Santa come?!”

The man lifted his daughter into his arms. “He sure did, boo!”

“But it's not Christmas. There's no snow outside!”

“You've been such a good girl that he decided to come early! Look, he left you lots of presents.”

The girl squealed in excitement. “I like presents! Can I open them?”

“Sure.” Matt lowered her to the floor and she rushed over to the Christmas tree, grabbing the first sloppily wrapped gift she could get her hands on. The toddler ripped into the paper and quickly revealed the Storm Funko Pop doll. “Holy Batman! Daddy, look! It's Storm!”

“Oh, wow, that's so cool, boo!”

“Yes! I'll go put her on my shelf,” Clark informed prior to rushing out of the living room. As she did, Shea turned around away and wiped her eyes.

“What's up?” Matt asked.

The woman shook her head as she continued to fight back tears. “Nothing. Um…she’s just so cute. It makes me think of what our baby would've been like,” she sniveled.

In all the years that he'd known her, this was probably the third time that Matt had seen Shea cry. The woman wasn't easily brought to tears, so whenever she got emotional, Matt couldn't help but follow suit.

“Shea, please don't cry,” he sniffled.

“I'm not,” she said defensively. “But you don't know what it's like living with the regret of having an abortion, Matty.”

Violet was completely taken aback and surprised when she felt her own eyes begin to well up.

“I don't know how you feel, Shea but it was my baby too. And yes, it sucks, but that was the best option for us at that time.”

“Matty, I really don't want to hear that right now,” the woman sobbed as she made her way towards the front door, then out of the house completely.

He groaned. “Shea, wait.”

“Hold on, Matthew,” Violet interjected. “Let me talk to her.”

The man raised an eyebrow. “You do know that she's ready to kill you, right? After that stunt you pulled today, you really need to be careful.”

She gulped. “Um...what stunt?”

“Don't play dumb. I know that you didn't trust me enough to believe that I was divorced.”

“Well, I did, but-”

Matt grabbed the woman by the lapels of her blazers and snatched her close. “Listen to me you little nerd. I love you,” he said emphasizing each word. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” she practically moaned.

“I told you that I filed those papers right before Clark was born, do you remember?”

“No,” she whimpered. “I was too exhausted.”

“Well, I'm reminding you. They were submitted and finalized ninety days after that. When I told you, I guess you were too busy trying on your Manolos to care but I've been in love with you from the moment that you first kicked me out of the house and that hasn't changed. And it never will change so you just need to learn to trust me. You got that?”

“I trust you, baby. I'm just really insecure and…” The woman could hardly concentrate on what she was saying as the man stared her down with his intense blue eyes. “Just kiss me.”

Matt smirked and pressed his lips against the woman's. He pulled away and smoothed her hair. “Now be good and go fix things with Shea. Just don't tick her off,” he joked.

“Well, if anything happens again, I'll have another drink handy to throw in her face.”

“Huh? You threw a drink in her face too?! What else did I miss?”

“Maybe a little, maybe a lot,” Violet said with a shrug. “I'll be right back.”

The woman exited the house and found Shea in her car, attempting to calm herself enough before she could drive.

“Ahh... parking in front of the neighbor's house so that I wouldn't suspect my ambush. Noted,” Violet said to herself as she approached Shea's passenger side window. She knocked so the woman lowered the glass. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Violet opened the door and Shea held up her hand to stop her. “Do you have any weapons or glasses of Dr. Pepper on you?” she joked.

The woman laughed. “No but I might have chewing gummm.”

“Nope. Yo ass could probably use that as a weapon.”

“Well, I am MacGyver.”

Shea laughed and didn't oppose any further as the woman climbed into her car.  

“I wanted to speak to you alone because, one Matthew was going to force us to sit down anyway and two, what you just said in there really touched me.” Violet cleared her throat. “Nobody knows this but um, at sixteen, I had an abortion and sometimes I do regret it.”

“Oh God,” Shea groaned. “Isn't the regret the fucking worst? Like I get Matty saying 'oh at the time it was the best option blah blah’, but it's just different for men because they don't have to go through the feeling of having a life inside of you and then suddenly it's gone.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Violet agreed.

“At the time I got pregnant, he and I were this close to living on the streets,” Shea said as she held up the small space between her thumb and index finger. “It would've been so fucked up to have a baby when I couldn't even take care of myself, ya know? So yes, we decided that an abortion would be for the best but I just don't want to hear his man voice reminding me of it. The experience wasn't the same for him and he'll never understand.”

“I understand completely. When I got pregnant, I was sleeping around so much that I didn't even have a clue to who the father was and out of my options, I wasn't serious about any of them. I knew that finishing school would be impossible and I knew my parents would probably hate me because they'd warned me about pregnancy so much so I just couldn't go through with having the baby. I told the captain of the football team that it was his so that I could extort the money for the abortion from him. He was more than happy to give it to me. And after that, we never spoke again.”

Shea sighed as she sat back in her seat. “Men ain't shit.”

Violet shook her head.

“And sometimes I do the math and I'm like 'damn, my baby would've been eleven this year. It would've been in middle school by now and it would've been so cute’, that's why seeing you and Matty's daughter just made me so emotional. I'm really sorry for calling her an accident.”

“She was an accident,” Violet admitted through laughter. “But the most perfect accident ever.”

“You know, a lot of great inventions were discovered by accident.”

“Very true. And I'm sorry for throwing the drink in your faceee. You know, I can't really fight so I gotta distract before I attack.”

Shea laughed. “That's amazing.”

“And I'm sorry for my sister-”

“No, don't apologize for her, that's literally what any good sister would do.”

“Yeah,” Violet sighed before extending her hand. “Truce?”

Shea accepted the gesture. “Truce.”

“Let's go show Matthew that we are now the best of friends.”

They both laughed as they exited the car and made their way up the cobblestone before Violet paused.

“What's up?” Shea asked.

“I just noticed that Matthew’s car isn't in the driveway. But he's here.”

“Is it in the garage?”

“No... well, we each have our own car and then a SUV for whenever we take Clark and my niece and nephews somewhere. When I pulled up today, I parked in the garage next to the SUV but his 'second child’ is gone.”

“Oh, that's weird.”

“It is,” she said as she continued to walk. When she entered her home, the woman wasn't surprised to see her daughter with green and red frosting all over her face. “Clark, you need a bath.”

“Not now, Mommy,” she protested. “You have to open your present.”

“What present?”

“The present from Daddy,” she whispered.

“Clark, are you telling secrets?” Matt shouted from across the room.

“No, Daddy,” the girl said in her 'sweet’ voice.

“Matthew, where is your car?”

“Umm...Clark, do the thing!”

As a distraction, the girl began to dance while Matt retrieved the gift from underneath the tree.

“Wait, what? Matthew, where-”

“This is for you,” Matt said as he handed the box to Violet.

“You're acting weird. Am I sure that I want to open this?”

“Yes!” Clark urged.

“Okay, baby. I trust you.” Violet lifted the lid off of the box and gasped when she saw the blinged out hazmat suit. “Oh my God! This is so amazingggg!”

“Do you love ittttttt?” Clark squealed.

“Yes, my love!”

“Good! If Daddy and me cut this one up, we'll have sparkles too!”

“Nobody will be cutting this one up,” Violet assured as she grabbed the white plastic. When she did, a smaller box fell out of the folds of the hazmat suit and onto the floor.

Clark grabbed the box.

“What's that, baby?” her mother asked.

The girl opened the box and revealed the Alexandrite engagement ring. “Mommy, will you marry Daddy?”

Violet gasped, covering her mouth with her palm as her eyes filled with tears.

“Well, will you?” she asked impatiently. “You know you want tooooo.”

“Yes! Of course I will!”

Matt approached and grabbed the box. “I'll take it from here, Clark.” He pulled the ring out of its spot and slid it onto Violet's finger.

“Oh my God,” the woman sobbed before throwing her arms around her fiance's neck. “I love you.”

The man replied with a kiss on her head.

“I’m getting married y'all!” Violet cheered.

“It's about time,” someone shouted.

“Congratulations,” Shea softly offered.

“Let's go celebrate,” Matt growled as he threw the woman over his shoulder before rushing up the stairs.

“Waitttttttttt,” Clark whined, “I want to celebrate toooooo!” The girl's short legs didn't carry her fast enough and she ultimately tripped in the process. “Daddyyy!” she sobbed.

“Heyy, heyy,” Shea cooed as she lifted the girl into her arms. “What's wrong?”

“My parents left me,” she sniffled while she wiped her eyes.

The woman brushed the girl's wild hair off of her forehead. “Do you ever let them have Mommy and Daddy time?”

“Yes but not on Christmasss,” she groaned.

“But hey, listen. There are lots of fun people here to play with. What about me?”

“You're a stranger.”

Shea extended her hand. “My name is Shea. I've known your Daddy since we were like twelve years old.”

Clark gasped. “You're Miss Shea?! You know Stan Lee!”

The woman laughed. “Yes, that's me.”

“My Daddy told me a lotttt about you.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded and grabbed Shea's hand. “Come see my room!”

---

“So you and Shea are good now?” Matt asked as he removed his shirt.

“Yeah,” Violet said nervously as she fiddled around with the box in her purse before gathering up the courage to pull it out. “Well...I figure that at least one of us has to do it the traditional way,” she said as she sank to her knees. “Fuck, this position is vaguely familiar,” she joked before clearing her throat. “Matthew James Lent, will you marry me?”

"Wai- huh- you- I-” the man stammered out of shock. “When did you- oh my God, get up, you dork. Of course I'll marry you! What an original idea,” he teased.

Violet smiled as she popped the sleek, black ring with a red metallic lining out of the box and slid it onto the man's finger.

“I wanted something sleek with a pop of red to match your second child.” She paused. “Speaking of which, babe, where is your car?”

The man pursed his lips before he reluctantly answered. “I sold it.”

“You sold it?! Why?”

Matt grabbed the woman's left hand. “I needed money for your ring.”

Violet pouted. “You sold the Batmobile for me?”

“Of course. I'd sell my soul for you.”

“Awwww,” the woman squealed as she pulled her fiance onto to the bed where the throws of passion were swiftly in full swing.

---

“Welcome to my lair!” Clark squeaked as she pulled Shea in her room.

“Oh my God, this is better than my room.” The woman took in all the details that seemed to fit the little girl's personality perfectly. Instead of the traditional pink, Clark's canopy bed was draped in sheer blue cloth that framed her mattress which was topped with several bright pillows that read 'Boom!’ 'Pow!’ 'Splat!’ and 'Kazam!’

The room was lined with shelves that held vintage dolls and action figures that the girl had deemed sacred, but the toys that she did allow herself to play with overflowed out of the bright red chest in the corner. Her bookshelf was lined with all of her favorite comics and storybooks, but if she wanted to read the juicy stuff, she'd have to break into  Matt's man cave.

Since her wardrobe was too massive to fit into her bedroom's closet, the area had been cleared out and covered in colorful handprints by her and her father. Mostly used as a prime location to host tea parties, the space also doubled as a secret hideout from villains and dreaded naptimes.

Shea felt herself becoming emotional once again when she saw the framed photos of the girl with her parents as a newborn and through the different stages of her life up until a few months ago.

“Were you Snow White for Halloween?”

“Yes! And I gave out apples. But don't worry! They didn't have poison.”

“Good thing,” Shea chuckled. She wiped her eyes.

Clark frowned. “What's wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. Just allergies.”

The girl folded her arms. “Are you telling the truth?”

Shea turned to look at the girl. “And if I'm not?”

“You'll be in time out.”

“Yeah, well it already feels that way,” she sighed. “I'm fine. So, which superhero is your favorite?”

“Are you sad?”

“You're not going to let this go, are you?”

She giggled. “Nope.”

“I'm not sad... I'm... I don't know. I know you're not old enough to have regrets but-”

“Oh, yes I do! I regret not eating those Skittles that someone left in the bottom of the quarter candy machine.”

Shea cackled. “Fair enough.” She sunk to the floor and folded her legs as she continued to speak. “I just get a little sad when I think about how, if I would've had a baby, what they would've been like.”

“Oh...well what if you had another baby?”

“That's always an option, but there's always the 'what if’ questions.”

“Everyone always has questions.” Clark shrugged. “That's life. But you can't be sad about questions. Superheros have bad things happen to them but they never give up.”

“You're right, Clark. Thank you. You're a great listener.”

“That's what Mommy always says!” Clark rushed to her walkie talkie and pushed the button before she spoke. “Mommyyyy!” After a few seconds with no response, she shouted into

device again. “Or Daddyyyy! Are you sleeping?! It's not bedtime yet!”

“Y-Yes?” Violet panted into the walkie talkie. “What is it, Clark?”

“Miss Shea said that I'm a great listener like you do!”

“That's so awesome, baby. She's right.”

“Yeahhhh. What are you doing?”

“Um, I'm about to shower. What about you?”

“Playing with Miss Shea. Where's Daddy?”

“In the shower.”

The girl wrinkled her nose. “But yo-”

“No, no, I mean he's just using the bathroom and then when he comes out, I'll shower.”

“Good! You need privacy!”

Shea covered her mouth to conceal her laughter.

“Yes, I do, sweetheart. I will definitely wait until he leaves before I go in.”

---

“Yes! Yes!” Violet moaned out, clinging to Matt as he fucked her against the glass wall of the shower. “Right there, baby! Yes!” The hot drizzle from the shower pattered against her skin; paired with the man's deep strokes, it made for such an incredible sensation that the woman couldn't help but tremble. “Ohhhh myyyy Gooooddddd!”

“I fucking love you,” Matt grunted as he neared his climax.

“I love you too, baby. So fucking much.”

The man groaned as he came, sending his hot load of cum into the condom that lined his lover's sugar walls. Matt kissed Violet all over before turning off the shower and lowering her to the tile.

“I'm going to start dinner,” the woman said while she wrapped a towel around her head. “After I do my hair and get dressed.”

“Oh God, that'll take forever. I'll do it. What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever you feel like making, honey baby boo bear. I trust your judgement.”

“Aw, thanks, snuggle wuggle buddy. I'll be sure to make something extra delicious then.”

“Well, there's nothing more delicious than you, sugar lips. Don't go cookin’ yourself now.”

“If you wanna dip me and chocolate and call it a night, I'm down. The child can fend for herself.”

Violet laughed and gently poked the man's nose. “Sounds like a plan.”

The newly engaged couple shared a kiss before Matt exited the shower and patted himself dry prior to getting dressed. He made his way down the hall, stopping at Clark's room when he heard the toddler giggling. He pushed the ajar door all the way open to find Shea reading her latest comic to the girl.

“What's going on, ladies?”

“Miss Shea is telling me about her main super hero character! She has a fire crotch!”

Matt's expression was stunned before his parental instincts took over. “Shea, can I talk you outside for a second?”

“Uh oh,” Clark groaned. “Whenever someone is in trouble, he wants to go outsideee.”

“Now,” the man order. “Clark stay in your room.”

“Yeah,” the toddler sighed. “I know the drill.”

Matt stormed down the stairs and out the front door while Shea followed suit shortly thereafter. He made a sharp turn to face the woman.

“Why in the hell are you saying things like 'fire crotch’ to my daughter?”

“She saw one of my illustrations- that wasn't even inappropriate mind you, and she came to her own conclusion. I asked her where she got it from she said 'that’s what Mommy calls people with orange hair’. I told her that someone her age shouldn't say it so she stopped saying it right up until you came in. I'd never say anything inappropriate to your kid,” Shea spurted, growing more upset by the second. “Why would you even think that I'd do something like that?!”

“You have a wild sense of humor, Shea.”

“So do you,” she retorted.

Her tone was familiar and Matt knew that this was a lot deeper than bad words. “How do I have a wild sense of humor?”

Shea rolled her eyes and began to make her way towards her car but Matt was persistent and grabbed her arm to stop her. “Tell me how I have a wild sense of humor.”

The woman shoved him. “You're bugging because you had a baby by a woman that you barely even knew! She was a fucking one night stand and you were just so quick to have a child with her!”

“Whoa, where is this coming from?! I thought you and Violet finally liked each other!”

“My problem isn't with her, it's with you!” Before long, the woman was crying again with tears streaming down her face over the releasing of pain that she'd bottled up for the past two years. “I was pregnant, Matty. And you let me get rid of it!”

“It was a mutual decision!”

“Because we were about to be put out because of you! You! You! You! You should've stepped up to the plate, grew the fuck up and taken care of us! No woman wants to abort a baby solely because she feels like she won't be able to support it! You were my husband. You were supposed to take care of me, tell me that everything was going to be okay but no, you let me kill our baby,” she sobbed. “And now I can't even get pregnant.”

Matt hated seeing how hurt the woman was and he couldn't help but cry a little himself. “What do you mean?”

“I have been trying to start a family with my boyfriend but it's just not happening. Negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test, miscarriage after miscarriage, it's like I'm being punished for what I did. I wake up ha-hating myself sometimes,” Shea choked out before Matt pulled the weeping woman into an embrace.

“It's okay,” he sniveled into her hair. “It'll be okay.”

“But it won't though,” Shea sobbed.

“Have you tried the fertility clinic?”

“No.”

“Well, you should. Explore all of your options, babe. I'll even go with you if you want.”

The woman nodded as she wiped her eyes. “I'd like that.”

“Good. In the meantime, let's finish up Christmas.”

The duo returned inside of the house and after assuring Clark that it was okay to leave her room, the girl and Shea assisted Matt in the kitchen.

“A traditional Christmas dinner in one hour or less,” he assured them as he pulled out various items from the pantry.

Clark donned her apron and skittered around the kitchen, making a senseless mess of the flour and water her father had given her. “Bon appetit!” she cheered while she mixed her ingredients.

“How are your biscuits coming along, boo?”

“Good! Can I add more salt?”

“Sure.” The man handed his daughter the salt shaker and she quickly dumped the entire contents of the bottle into the bowl.

“What kind of biscuits are you making, Clark?” Shea asked.

“Death biscuits,” the girl replied with a hint of sinisterness in her tone.

“Oh my goodness. And who's gonna eat those death biscuits?”

“Everyoneeeee!”

“Well, I think I'll pass on the death biscuits.”

“That's okay, Daddy will eat them. Won't you, Daddy?”

“Of course, boo,” he said, flashing a grimace to Shea.

The woman smiled, and for a second, she felt as if the two of them were her husband and child. “Okay, Clark. I'll try whatever you make.”

“Yayyy! You'll love it.”

“I'm sure I will, sweetie.”

---

“Girl, we've got work to doooo. Pass me the paint and glueeee,” Violet sang as she ran the brush through her damp hair. “Perfect isn't easy, but...it's...meeeeeeee!” She plugged in the blow-dryer and turned it on full blast before she began giving herself face shots while she continued to sing, fulfilling her ‘wind in hair’ fantasy as if she was Beyoncé. “When one knows the world is watching, one does what one must! Some minor adjustments darling, not for my vanity but for humanityyyy.”

---

“Where's Mommyyyy?” Clark groaned. “I'm ready to bake my biscuits but she said I can not use the oven without her parent superstition!”

Shea laughed at the adorable misuse of the word. “I could help you, if you want. And if it's okay with Daddy.”

"Sure,” Matt mindlessly replied as he mashed the potatoes and grated cheese for the macaroni at the same time.

“Yayyy!” his daughter cheered. “Get my pan from the cabinet and preheat the oven, pleaseeeee.”

“Done and done,” Shea said as she immediately went to work. The domestic situation made her want to burst at the seams, but the woman used every second of the low rent 'I Love Lucy’ set up as practice for whenever she'd have a family of her own.

After grabbing the baking sheet, she misted it with some Pam before assisting Clark in plopping the clumps of dough onto it.

Embracing the entire Christmas theme Violet  slowly descended the stairs in her red, fur lined  robe. With every hair in its place and perfect makeup, the newly engaged woman felt like a queen. While she was in search of her king, the woman puckered her lips and floated into the kitchen like Mortician Addams.

“You do this so much better than Mommy,” she heard as she rounded the corner. “She doesn't like icky things like dough on your fingers.”

“Awe, well I don't mind,” Shea said.

“You'd make a good Mommy.”

“Awwww, thank you, sweetie,” the woman squealed as they shared a hug.

Violet scowled. “Excuse me? What's going on here?”

“We're cooking!” Clark announced.

“Oh…” She shot Shea a glare. “Well, I want to help.”

“Good!” the girl cheered. “You can help, Daddy.”

“But I want to help you.”

“Noooo. You'll be sad if you get dirty. Go set the table.”

“Really, Clark?”

“Go sit down, Mommy, we're almost finished. We'll bring you your food because you're a princess and it will be delicious!”

Violet rolled her eyes and made her way over to her fiance. “Do you hear how she's speaking to me, Matthew? She's being a brat.”

“Uh huh,” he mindlessly mumbled, staring at the caramel sauce while he stirred it.

“Well, say something to her!”

“Ssshhhhhh! Babe, please. This is a delicate process.” The man sank so that he was eye level with the pan while he continued to gently stir.

The aggravated woman turned when she heard Clark giggling. Her daughter and Shea had practically started a food fight and Violet instantly saw nothing but red.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Clark, you know better! And Shea who the fuck do you think you are?! You're a guest in my home and this is the respect that you show?! Clark, go to your room. Shea, get out.”

“Mommy, no!” Clark protested. “We are just having fun and you are being a meanie head!”

“I said, go to your room!”

“No!”

Violet stormed over to the disobedient child,  picked her up and started to make her way to her room. Clark could do nothing but kick and scream and when her designer shoe struck her mother in the stomach, the woman retaliated by popping the girl on her bottom.

By the way she hollered, people would've thought that Clark had been snapped by a bear trap. Matt quickly rushed over to them.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Get your child before I literally kill her,” Violet fumed as she placed the wailing girl into her father's arms.

“Don't say shit like that,” the man retorted.

“She just kicked me in the stomach!”

As Clark continued to thrash, Matt sighed, carried his daughter to her room and placed her on the bed. “Clarkkkkk,” he cooed as he patted his sobbing daughter on the back. “What's wrong? Wanna tell me what happened?”

“You know what happeneddddd!” she screeched into her 'Pow!’ pillow.

“I heard your Mom's side of the story, now I want to hear yours.”

Clark continued to cry as she sat up, hyperventilating as she choked out her words. “W-We were trying to do the di-dinner and M-M-Mommy came in. Sh-She-She wanted to help bu-bu-but Miss Shea and I we-were almost finishedddd. So Mommy needed to be the princess and set the table!”

“Ssshhh, it's okay, boo. What else happened?”

“I put some dough on Miss Shea's nose and she did the same to me and said it was like a mud face lift stuff so we kept going and some hit the floor. Mommy doesn't like messes so she yelled at usssss.”

“And you yelled back?”

“Yes! Mommy was being the villain so I had to stop her but she spanked me,” Clark said with a quivering lip that made Matt want to give her all the cookies and ice cream in the world to make it all better.

“But boo, you were throwing a tantrum and kicked Mommy. That hurt her.”

“She's the villainnnn.”

“I know Mommy can seem like Poison Ivy sometimes but we have to listen to her because, well... she's Mommy. Even if you don't agree with her, you have to be good and listen to her because she loves you and wants nothing but the best for you, boo. Okay?”

“Okay,” the girl sobbed.

“Will you come down and apologize to Mommy?”

Clark nodded as she wiped her eyes.

“Can I have a hug?” Matt invited his daughter into his arms. When she climbed into them, he kissed her head and gave her a firm squeeze before carrying her towards the door.

“Wait! I need Lex Luthor.” The man stopped so that Clark could grab her stuffed bear. “I need my sidekick just in case.”

“Just in case what?”

“Mommy said she wanted to kill me. I'm always prepared for battle.”

Matt's jaw dropped. “Boo, she doesn't really want to...ugh, she owes you an apology as well.” The man carried his daughter down the stairs and into the living room where Violet sat on the sofa with her legs crossed as she sipped on her wine.

“Where is everyone?” he asked.

“I told them to leave,” Violet replied.

“But this was my party, not yours.”

“This is my house. I can do what I want. I don't need them all looking at me crazy.”

The man rolled his eyes. “Clark has something to say.”

Matt lowered his daughter to the floor and the girl hid behind her teddy bear as she spoke. “Mommy, I'm really sorry for ye-yelling and hurting you.”

“It's okay, my love,” she said as she extended her arms.

Clark slowly made her way into them. Violet kissed her head but the girl stared up at her through a frown and impatient eyes.

“What?”

“I'm waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“My apologies!”

Violet scoffed. “What apologies?”

“She thinks that you want to kill her because of what you said.”

“Huh? Oh, pfft, I didn't mean that and you know it.”

“I don't care if you didn't mean it or not, you don't say shi- stuff, like that to our kid! You hurt her feelings, so apologize!”

“I'm sorry, Clark,” Violet offered.

The girl smiled. “It's okay, Mommy.” She pressed both of her tiny hands against the woman's cheeks. “I love you sooo much.”

“Awww, Mommy loves you too.”

“Will you try my death biscuits?”

“Death biscuits?”

“Yes! Miss Shea helped me make them.”

Violet shot her fiance a look. “What was up with that? Playing house with your ex?”

“Oh stop it, Violet, that's not even the case and you know it. She's my oldest friend and-”

“She is so much older, isn't she? No wonder you divorced her for me.”

“What are you talking about? She's 32 like me. And I didn't divorce her for you, we'd been separated for years before I even met you. And since you turn 30 this year, you aren't that far behind in the age department.”

“Oh, fuck all the way off. I'm 28.”

Matt scowled. “Stop cursing in front of my daughter.”

“Clark, do you know that 'fuck’ is a bad word?”

“Yes,” the toddler nervously replied.

“See, she's not dumb.”

“Boo, go to your room.”

She frowned. “But I just left my roommmm. When are we going to do Christmas?”

“We'll do it after I talk to Mommy.”

“Okay,” she sighed as she slowly trekked up the stairs.

When Matt heard Clark's door close, he turned to Violet. “What the fuck is your problem? Why are you being such a bitch?”

“Oh, I'm being a bitch? Would you prefer it if Shea was here?”

“So, despite being proposed to today and proposing to me today, you're still jealous, insecure and think that I want my ex? Nice.”

“I'd never be jealous of a dry, wannabe Alicia Keys, whore who wishes she had my baby but whores can't be so lucky. She-” Violet paused when Matt stepped towards her.

“I swear to God that I want to ring your fucking neck sometimes,” he snarled.

“Are you seriously talking to your fiancee like this over some bitch?!”

“She's not just some bitch.”

“Clearly! You let her call my child all kinds of terms of endearment. 'Sweetie’ and shit.” The woman downed the remainder of wine that was in her glass.

“You're an alcoholic,” Matt said with all kinds of judgement behind his tone.

“I'm not even drunk! And I don't even drink that much- just enough to be attracted to you.”

Without another word the man turned on his heel and entered the kitchen.

“Matthew, I was joking!” She pushed herself out of her seat and over to the man who ignored her as he grabbed plates from the cabinet. “Oh my God, are you seriously butt hurt over that?”

“It's probably true,” he grumbled.

“Cut the shit, Matthew. For one, you know good and goddamn well that I don't drink that much. And secondly, you know how hot I think you are.”

“Do you think I'm hot or do you feel like you got trapped because I knocked you up and you know it's hard for someone with kids to find love?”

“Let's get one thing straight, Matthew James Lent. You're hot, but I'm way hotter. Child or not, I could get any man that I wanted.”

“Even with your stretch marks?” When Violet gasped, he laughed. “Just kidding. I'm only saying that to get under your skin... literally.”

“Matthew, that's not funnyyyy. I opened up to you and now you're using it to make fun of meeee,” she whined.

“I'm not making fun of you. I think your ripples are cute.” He stole a kiss from her pouty lips. “Go get Clark so we can eat.”

Violet made her way to the bottom of the stairs. “Clark!”

“Yes, Mommy?”

“Dinner's ready!”

As if it was the actual Christmas morning, Clark sprinted down the stairs and jumped into her mother's arms. Violet carried the girl into the dining room prior to making her way back to the kitchen, but she paused when she heard Matt's voice.

“Yeah. Oh, yeah? What time? No, that's good because Clark's dentist appointment is at 2 so that should be fine. I'll be there.”

Violet rounded the corner. “Be where?” she demanded.

Matt jumped. “Jesus, woman! You scared me.”

“You should be scared. Who are you talking to?”

“Shea.”

She folded her arms. “Why are you talking to her?”

“Because I'm a grown ass man, that's why.”

“But she was rude to me! Me! Your fiancee!”

“You just love that new title don't you?”

“Yes! And I should love the entitlement that comes with it, but you're being a jerk!”

“I’m not being a jerk. You just want to dictate my life.”

“Duh! That's what wives do!”

Matt laughed. “Alright, Violet. What do you want me to do other than stop talking to Shea because that won't happen.” The woman scowled and turned on her heel but Matt rushed after her. “Babe, I'm trying to be open and honest with you.”

“Then tell me where you're going with her tomorrow.”

“To a doctor's appointment.”

Violet made a face. “Very domestic.”

“She's my one of my best friends and she wants me there. She's the Naomi to my Violet.”

The woman sighed. “Fine, Matthew. Can we just  eat now?”

“Yeah. Shea, I gotta go. Alright, bye.”

Violet swiftly set the table and before long, the small family was feasting on a meal that was meant for all of their guests.

“This caramel cake is really good, Matthew.”

“I know it is,” he said smugly.

He pulled the woman into a kiss.

Clark covered her eyes.

“Oh, get over here, you little dork,” Violet said as she grabbed her daughter. “You want some kisses?”

“Nooo,” the girl protested. “Kisses are icky!”

Violet kissed her daughter all over her face and hair.

Clark giggled as she attempted to fend off her mother's attack. “Heyyyy, you're driving me coconuts!”

Violet laughed and returned her to her seat.

Clark grabbed her basket of biscuits. “Try one.”

“What are these?”

“My death biscuits!”

“Why are you calling them that?”

“Because it's a catchy name!”

“But that makes people not want to eat them, baby.”

“Miss Shea would've eaten some,” Clark grumbled.

Violet frowned and snatched one of the rock-like biscuits out of the basket and shoved it into her mouth. She bit into it and shrieked. “Ow! God, I think I broke my fucking tooth!”

Clark frowned. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

Violet pushed herself out of her seat and rushed into the bathroom. “I swear to God, my goddamn teeth better be intact!”

Matt groaned internally because the woman had no idea how to fake eating their daughter's inedible concoctions like he did.

“Did I really make Mommy's teeth fall out?” Clark asked Matt with a frown.

“No,” he assured.

“Owwwwww,” Violet groaned from the bathroom.

“Maybe,” Matt reiterated. “But look on the bright side. Mommy would look good as a pirate.”

Clark giggled. “Arrr!”

Matt cackled before putting on a grimace. “I'll make ye walk the plank!”

The girl grabbed her belly as she laughed. “Oh, you're making my tummy happy.”

Violet returned to the dining room. “My fucking tooth is chipped.”

“Which one?” Matt asked.

The woman pulled back her lip and showed the man her damaged molar.

“Oh, that's not that bad. You still cute,” he assured, stealing a kiss in the process.

“Well, it's not going to stay that way. I'll take Clark to the dentist tomorrow and get it fixed then.”

“Ask them to fix your breath problem while they're at it,” Matt teased.

The woman self-consciously covered her mouth. “Does my breath stink?”

He nodded. “Like Goblin farts.”

“Goblin farts?!”

Clark laughed so hard that she snorted.

“You're such a jerk!” Violet groaned as she plopped a spoonful of potatoes on the man's head.

“Food fight!” their daughter shouted and before the woman could protest, macaroni, turkey legs and cake was being sent across the room in every direction possible.

“Have a death biscuit!” Clark shouted as she tossed one of the hard lumps that hit the wall at top speed, leaving an indentation in the plaster.

“Okay, that is where I draw the line!” Violet shouted. “Let's stop before the death biscuits really do kill someone.”

The girl pouted. “Sorry.”

Matt sighed at the abrupt end to their fun.

“Well, let's clean up,” Violet urged.

The father/daughter duo reluctantly began to pile their dishes.

“I meant us, sillies! Matthew, go get the hose!”

“Yayyyy!” Clark cheered as she rushed out of the backdoor. She was quickly greeted by Loki and Dr. Doom who began to lick the food off of her.

“What brought this on?” Matt asked. “I never thought I'd see the day that Violet Chachki encouraged messiness.”

“Violet Chachki would never encourage messiness, but Violet Lent wants to have fun with her family.”

Matt smiled and leaned in for a kiss but his lips were greeted by a handful of mashed potatoes.

“Hey!”

“Catch me if you can!” Violet said as she bolted out of the backyard.

Matt wiped his face and was swift on her heels prior to grabbing the water hose. He blasted the woman with the cold water.

“Ahhh! Clark, save me! Clark?” Violet looked around the yard but the girl was nowhere to be found. “Clark!”

The small child sprinted from behind the dog house with her Super Soaker in hand. “Eat water, evil doer!” she shouted as she shot at her father.

Violet sighed in relief. “Go, Clark, go!”

“I'll protect you, Mommy!” the girl declared as she continued to fire at her father and dodge any attacks he had with the hose.

“Rawr!” Matt growled.

“Die, monster, die!” Clark got out before abruptly stopping. “You guys should have a water wedding!”

“No way,” Violet protested.

“What about a comic book wedding?”

“Yes!” Matt agreed.

“No!”

“This is my wedding too because I asked you to marry Daddy,” Clark reminded. “If we both want comic book, you're going to lose.”

Violet scoffed. “I never lose. Especially if Daddy wants special time with me.”

Matt went to complain, but Clark intervened. “Don't fall for her kryptonite, Daddy!”

“Alright, that's enough playtime for you,” he said as he scooped the child into his arms.

“Don't become one of her minions!”

The girl was in dire need of a nap, so Violet wanted to put her future husband's family skills to the test. She leaned in to whisper in his ear. “If you can get her down in fifteen minutes, I'll swallow.”

Without another word, Matt sprinted into the house, dashed up the stairs, peeled the wet clothes off of his daughter, bathed her, put her in pajamas and popped her into bed.

“Daddy, you're like Flash!”

“I know. Now I need you to be like Flash and go to sleep faster than you've ever fallen asleep in your life.”

She frowned. “I’m not tireddd.”

“Clark, please. I have a lot riding on your nap.” Or a lot riding on me if you take the nap, he thought.

“What do I get if I go to sleep?”

“What do you want?”

“A koala bear!”

“Clark, you can not have a koala bear. They carry diseases.”

“So does Uncle Jake but I still love himmmm.”

“Hey, where'd you hear that?”

“Mommy.”

The man scoffed. “Of course. Well, she isn't wrong, but it's still not nice.”

“Please, Daddyyyy? I really want a koala!”

“If you take a nap right now, I'll discuss it with Mommy.”

“Okay!” Clark squeezed her eyes shut.

Matt kissed his daughter's head and tiptoed out of the room. He made his way down the hall and found Violet laying on her stomach across the bed, completely nude.

She looked like an oil painting and Matt couldn't control the tightening in his groin.

“Is the child asleep?” she asked.

“Yeah. Now it's your turn,” Matt growled seductively as he jumped on the bed. As Violet squealed, the man pushed her legs to her chest and quickly wrapped his mouth around her clit.

After making the woman climax twice just from his tongue and fingers, he thrusted his dick into her and made her come three more times before he neared his own climax. The man pulled out.

“Fuckkk,” he grunted as he held off his explosion while Violet reluctantly slid his cock into her mouth. She gave him a few firm sucks before he moaned and sent his hot cum into her mouth. “Open, open,” he urged as he grabbed her chin.

Violet obliged. She opened her mouth and swirled her tongue around to give the man a little show but swallowing his load.

“Fuck, babeee. That's beautiful.” He gave her a hard kiss as a thanks for fulfilling one of his fantasies.

“I want a new Birkin for that.”

“Done.”

---

Matt waited in the lobby of the fertility clinic next to his nervous ex-wife. When he saw that the woman was gnawing on what little fingernails she had left, he grabbed her hand.

“You'll be fine,” he assured.

“It's nerve wrackingggg.”

“I'll bet it is. I mean, how often does a stranger look at your genitals?”

“Sounds like my usual Tuesday night,” Shea joked.

Matt laughed and kissed the back of her hand. “You'll be fine.”

“Miss Couleé?” the nurse called.

“That's us,” she said as she stood. “I mean, me.”

“This way.”

The duo followed the woman to a sterile room and instructed Shea to replace her clothing with the paper robe she'd handed to her before the doctor could see her.

“What would your wife think of this fashion?” she asked as she modeled the generic piece of paper.

“She’d probably die, but I wouldn't get a dime because she's not my wife.”

Shea laughed. “Well, soon-to-be.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you happy?”

“I am. Like, she's just perfect. Temperamental and whiny, but the way her lip curls when she's yelling at me or the way she pouts when she admits that she's wrong or how she justs refuses to back down when she knows she's right...God, what a woman.”

“Awww, little Matty's so in love! I live.”

The man could feel his cheeks turn crimson so he gave a dismissive wave.

“Do you want more kids?”

“Yeah,” he said reluctantly. “But I don't think Violet wants anymore. At least not anytime soon.”

“Fair enough.”

“So how come you didn't ask your boyfriend to come to this?”

“Because he doesn't know that I'm trying to get pregnant. He's a singer so I'm trying to trap him, but just my luck, my fucking uterus is broken.” The expression on Matt's face made the woman cackle. “Kidding! He's on tour.”

Matt scoffed. “And he didn't take off for you?”

“He wanted to but I told him not to lose out on his money for this. This isn't the appointment that matters. However, if we do get pregnant, I want him to be at everything.”

“He better or I'll kick his ass.”

Shea smiled. “I'm glad you're here.”

“You better be, loser,” he teased.

The woman gave him a playful shove before she took her place on the paper covered cot and waited for the doctor to examine her.

“Knock, knock,” the fertility specialist said as he knocked on the door and entered the room. “Hello, Ms. Couleé?”

“Yeah, nice to meet you.”

“Mr. Couleé?”

“Oh, no. I'm just a friend,” Matt assured.

“Ooo, then the lady is single?”

Matt, clearly taken aback, made a face and responded before Shea could. “No, she's not single. Why do you think she's at a fertility clinic? She knows that she can't get pregnant because she's having sex with somebody she loves,” he fumed.

“Matty, calm down.”

“I'm calm, it was just fucking weird for him to ask that.”

“Well, I offer my sincerest apologies,” the doctor offered. “It's just my sense of humor to break the ice with my patients before I look at their genitals.”

“Aww, see Matt. He has great intentions.”

The man rolled his eyes and the doctor began his questioning. After that was over, he instructed Shea lie back and relax.

“Wow, you sure you aren't single?”

Shea laughed but Matt scowled.

“If you make over seven figures a year, I'm definitely single.”

“I'll be quiet now,” the doctor chuckled. “Well, everything down here looks like it's in good shape... really good shape.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Matt asked in disbelief. “Are we on Punk’d or What Would You Do or something because you're a goddamn joke. Make another inappropriate comment like that  and I swear I'll shove those forceps down your throat.”

“Matty, go wait in the lobby,” Shea demanded.

“And leave you alone with captain rapist? No, fucking way.”

“Whoa, Sir,” the doctor interjected. “I take that accusation very seriously.”

“As you should, you fucking pervert!”

“Matty! Go, now!”

The man crossed his arms over his chest. “I'm not going anywhere, but he has one more time to say something slick.”

The doctor nervously cleared his throat as he checked Shea's chart. “It says here that you put 'Yes’ for smoking and drinking and recreational drug use. What kind of drugs?”

“Oh, a little of everything. Besides cocaine. My sinuses are too bad to be snorting stuff.”

“Well, drinking and drug use can be a real problem when it comes to fertility.”

“Seriously? I see all of these goddamn crackheads getting pregnant like it's their part time job.”

The man shrugged. “It just depends on the person. And your body is…” he was clearly censoring himself as Matt glowered. “Your body is trying to tell you that it can't have a healthy baby under those conditions.”

“Damn. I have to give up my blunts.”

“Only for nine months,” he assured. “If that doesn't work, you can always look into...other options.”

The suggestion sounded too sexual for Matt's liking. He pushed himself out of his seat.

“But getting drug free is what you should start with,” the man stammered. “Try again with your partner. And if that doesn't work, you know where to find me.” The doctor rushed towards the exit but not before he flinched at Matt pretending to lunge at him.

Shea laughed so hard that she snorted.

“I'm glad you're amused by this. Now put your clothes on so we can leave.”

“Can we go eat ice cream?”

“Sure.”

---

“No more ice cream for youuuu,” Clark teased her mother.

“She eats more candy and junk than me! How do I have a cavity and she doesn't?”

The dentist shrugged.

“This is devastating.”

“It's just one cavity, Mommy. It's not the end of the universe.”

“Shut your trap, little miss perfect smile.”

Clark grinned. “You have a cavity and a chipped tooth. You should have a tooth fairy wedding so she can fix you all up.”

Violet gasped. “Who teaches you to be so shady?!”

“You.”

Violet sighed. “Fair enough. Fill 'er in, doc.”

---

By the time Violet made it home from running her errands, she found her fiance watching TV in bed. She kissed him.

“How was the dentist?”

“Ugh, don't even get me started on that. How was the doctor's appointment with your precious Shea?”

“It was alright, but I almost killed that goddamn doctor.”

“Why?”

“He was such a perv! While he was looking at her  down there he'd say shit like ‘oh, are you single? It looks really, really good down here’.”

“What the- why would a doctor be looking at her down there? STD?”

“She went to a fertility clinic.”

The woman paused. “Hold on, let me get this straight. You took your ex-wife to a fertility doctor...where her vagina was all out...do you have any idea how that looks?!”

“Well, duh I know how her vagina looks. We were married for like ten years.”

“Not her vagina, Matthew! The situation! That's like me going to the sperm bank with my ex and helping him finish for the cup!”

He scoffed. “That's totally not the same thing.”

“Well it is to me,” Violet sniffled. “You don't even care enough about my feelings to admit it!”

Matt groaned. “Babe, what do you want from me?!”

“All of you!”

“You have all of me! I proposed, didn't I?!”

“Well, I don't want anyone trying to take you away from me! I want to get married sooner rather than later!”

“Okay!”

“If I have things ready by next two weeks will you be ready?!”

“Yes!”

“Alrighty, then!”

“Okay! Can we stop yelling now?!”

The appeased woman nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, pumpkin.”

“Ah, ah, ahhhh,” Violet reprimanded as she wagged her finger. “Save it for your vows.”

---

1 week later

---

When Violet heard her doorbell ring she rushed to open it and squealed when she saw that her guest had arrived.

“David Tutera! Hello!” the woman greeted the world renowned wedding planner.

“Hi, gorgeous,” he replied as he kissed both of her cheeks.

“It's so nice to meet you, come on in.”

Violet led the man to the dining room table where she'd set out photos, swatches and magazine clippings of what she wanted for her big day.

“So what do we have here?” he asked as he sat down.

“My wedding plans! Okay, so I want the grandest, most expensive, most over the top, like, we need to shut down the city and call the mayor because it'll be that amazing. Literally the best wedding that you've ever done before, David!”

“Um, okay. I think I could manage that. And when is your wedding day?”

“Next week.”

The man's jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me?! When I do weddings, I at least take six months to prepare!”

“Well, clear your schedule, sweetheart. I needed my fiance to legally be mine since like yesterday, so figure it out. You need to do this wedding by next week.”

“Excuse me? Do you have any idea who I am and whose events I've planned?!”

“Well, duh. I called you for a reason, but this is an opportunity for you to step up your game.”

“Unbelievable,” the man said as he pushed himself out of his seat. “Good luck with this one. I'm not touching it.”

“Seriously?! Do not understand the severity of what you're saying to me?! I am the fashion director at Girly Magazine, my column could make or break your entire line of bridal gowns!”

David blew her a kiss. “I'll pass. Good luck, sweetheart.” As the wedding planner passed the stairs, he froze when he saw the man in the fitted Spiderman costume, that left little of his physique to the imagination, descending them.

Matt pulled off his mask and shook out his hair. “Hey,” he greeted. “You must be David. I'm Matt, the fiance.”

David gulped. “Nice to meet you.”

“Thank you so much for agreeing to come help Violet. She deserves it.”

“Yeah? Well, I'd be more than happy to help you.”

Violet squealed. “So you changed your mind?!”

Without taking his eyes off of Matt, the wedding planner nodded.

“Yayyyy!”

“Super Clark, awayyyy!” the girl shouted as she sprinted by in nothing but her cape, goggles and underwear.

---

Over the next week, David failed to get Matt more involved with the wedding planning so the scheduled appointments became fewer and farther between.

An agitated Violet quickly took matters into her own hands and fired the man in dramatic fashion. And to prove a point, she called the producers of the hit television show Bridezillas.

“Matthew, sit down so that we can do this goddamn interview!”

“I'm not good with camerasss. Why'd you call them?”

“So that people can see what a shitty planner David actually is! He literally wanted little to nothing to do with just me because I probably intimidated him too much and I want people to see that.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “He was nice enough to me.”

“Babeee,” she whined. “You were absent for the venue and the linen pickings, this is the least that you can do.”

“You seriously think I'd take off of work for table clothes?”

“Yes!”  

“Um, no. I'm still paying off that damn Birkin so taking off, especially for tablecloths, is not an option right now. Call me for important stuff like the cake tasting and the actual day of the wedding.”

“You're such a typical man!”

“Thank you.”

“Ugh!” the woman groaned before storming off and entering the nearest bathroom before slamming the door behind her.

The Bridezilla producers high-fived each other. “This is pure gold!”

Violet peeked out of the bathroom. “You filmed that?”

“Of course! You were brilliant.”

“That was not brilliant! I can't even get my fucking fiance to cooperate! All he cares about is his stupid work and me swallowing and I've had it up to here with him!”

The producers high-fived again.

---

A few days later Violet managed to get Matt out of work with a cake tasting while the Bridezilla cameras followed all the while.

The baker brought out several samples before the man and his daughter dove into the same slice.

“Damn, that's good.”

“Damn, that's good!” Clark repeated with a mischievous giggle.

“Hey,” Matt chastised. “Don't say that.”

“Hey,” she mocked. “Don't say that.”

“Oh, so we're a parrot today?”

“Oh, so we're a parrot today?”

“Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?” Matt spewed.

“Peter...pickles... pizza!” she said with a cackle.

Matt laughed and kissed her forehead. “So what's this flavor?” he asked the baker.

“That's the birthday flavor. It’s French vanilla with sprinkles added into the batter.”

“I love it. It's the one.”

“I love it. It's the one,” Clark repeated.

“Hold on, jerks,” Violet protested. “I have to taste more.” The woman sampled the chocolate cake and practically melted in her seat. “That's amazing. Out of everything I've tasted, that's the best. I want this one.”

Matt wrinkled his nose. “I don't like chocolate cake.”

“I don't like chocolate cake,” Clark reiterated despite it being a lie.

“Well, too bad. I want this.”

“Woman, this is not a dictatorship. We both have to agree.”

“Woman, this is not a dictatorship. We both have to agree.”

Violet scoffed. “Both of you need to just shut up and agree to have the chocolate.”

“Well, you can have both,” the baker reminded.

“No, this isn't even about the cake anymore,” Violet fumed. “It's about these two trying to gang up on me.”

“What are you even talking about?!”

“What are you even talking about?!”

“I want the chocolate cake but you guys are being extra!”

“We can get both flavors, Violet! What's the fucking problem with that?!”

“We can get both flavors, Violet! What's the freaking problem with that?!” Clark added, being careful to censor herself.

“This is the problem!” Violet shouted as she tossed a handful of cake at the man. “You're my problem! You're not fucking listening to me!”

Matt dusted the crumbs off of himself before grabbing the cake with the most frosting and planting in directly into the woman's face.

Clark hid behind her fingers and waited for her mother's reaction.

Violet cleared the icing from her face. “Okay, Matthew,” she said with a light chuckle. “I'm literally going to kick your ass.” To the baker's chagrin, a cake fight quickly ensued.

The Bridezilla cameras caught every moment and even caught a lens full of frosting when Clark began to target them.

“Okay, okay,” Matt relented. “You can have your chocolate.”

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” Violet said as she caught herself from slipping on the strawberry filling.

“Absolutely. The wedding cake will be chocolate but my groom's cake will be the birthday flavor.”

“Groom’s cake?”

“Yayyy! We have come to a settlementalize!” Clark cheered.

---

Naomi couldn't believe how emotional Violet was when she met her friend in the airport parking lot.

“I fucking missed you!”

“I missed you too! I get back from my honeymoon and find out that you're engaged and planning your damn wedding- on Bridezillas!”

“Yeah,” she sniffled.

Naomi wiped the woman's tears. “I'm back, babe. Let's do this thing.”

---

Violet slinked out of the bridal dressing room in the tightly fitted strapless gown.

Raven and Naomi gasped while Clark wrinkled her nose.

The woman stopped in front of the full length mirror and groaned. “Oh my God, you guys I'm so fat! This is a fucking size four and I had to suck it in to squeeze into the motherfucker.”

“Lazaro’s dresses run small though,” Raven reminded. “Fucking asshole.”

“At least it isn't David Tutera,” Naomi teased.

Violet rolled her eyes. “Oh, God. Did you finish that article on him?”

“I did. He's officially dead in the fashion world.”

“Good. But that still doesn't help this dresssss,” Violet whined.

“I hate it,” Clark admitted.

“Really, CC?” Naomi asked.

“Yes! It's too plain. Where is the princess dress that I picked out for you?”

Violet turned from side to side, examining her silhouette in the dress before groaning. “I'll try on your pick now, sweetheart.”

When the woman returned to the dressing room, she gave the dress that she intentionally hated a second look. The consultant pulled the large ball gown from its protective casing and Violet took in every detail from the full skirt with soft jewel appliques and a train so long that it gave Princess Diana a run for her money to the delicate beading on the bodice that offered a hint of sparkle but nothing too over the top.

“This is actually really beautiful.”

The woman climbed out of the fitted dress and the bridal consultant assisted her in pulling the ball gown over her hips and gliding the off-the- shoulder sleeves into place before she attempted to corset the woman up.

“Fuck, that's tight,” Violet groaned. “What size is this?”

“A six.”

“Six?! Oh my God, I'm obese.”

“You're not obese...just a little bloated.”

“Bloated?!” She exploded.

“I'm sorry, you-”

“No! Get the fuck away from me! Naomi!”

Her friend entered the room a few moments later. “Yes, honey?”

“This bitch just called me bloated. I want to get the fuck out of here!”

“Whoa, why would you say that?”

“I-” the consultant got out before Violet cut her off.

“Because she's an evil bitch! I'm never coming to this boutique again and I'll take my five million Girly Magazine subscribers with me!”

Violet stormed out of the dressing room and when Clark saw her mother, the small child's entire face lit up.

“Mommy, you look so beautiful!”

“You really think so, baby?”

“Yes!”

“You really are glowing, Vi,” Naomi assured.

“And your boobs look incredible,” Raven added.

The woman sniffled. “Thank you, guys. I feel fat, but beautiful nonetheless.”

“David Tutera, eat your heart out!” Raven shouted at the nearest Bridezilla camera. “I’m sorry to hear about the unfortunate blaze that reduced  your bridal warehouse to ashes.”

“Buy that one! Buy that one!” Clark urged.

“I'm not buying anything from here. I will call Vera Wang herself and get my own, custom made gown that fits me perfectly without a goddamn size tag on it.”

“That's like cheating,” Naomi admitted. “I love it.”

“Mommy, are you saying yes to this dress?!”

“Yes!”

“Wooooo!”

---

6 weeks later

---

“Even though it took us longer to get here than I wanted, I'm glad we made it,” Violet said as a toast to her bridesmaids. “Cheers, bitches!”

“Cheers, bitches!” Clark repeated as she held up her apple juice. On the average day, she would've gotten in trouble, but on her parents wedding day, any form of celebration was accepted.

Violet took a sip of her champagne, but the second that the alcohol touched her lips, the woman became queasy.

“Naomiiii,” she whined. “Please get my veil.”

“How come?”

“I think I'm going to be sick and I don't want to ruin it.”

“Oh, dear.” Naomi panicked but was swift in action to remove the cathedral length piece of lace art from the back of her friend's softly curled updo.

As soon as she was free, Violet gathered the bottom of her massive skirt and stuffed herself into the bathroom. Her maid of honor was right by her side, wrapping a sheet around her neck to protect the dress and her own fitted, blush pink gown from any splatter. Violet spewed into the toilet bowl until her stomach was empty.

“Oh God,” the woman groaned as she flushed.

“Better?”

Violet nodded. “I don't know what that was about.”

“Premarital nervousness?”

“Sounds about right,” she sighed.

“Okay, good. I was thinking oh, lord let's not have food poisoning today of all days.”

“I haven't even eaten anything. I had a salad last night and cranberry juice this morning because I didn't want to be bloated.”

“You aren't pregnant, are you?” Naomi joked but the expression on Violet's now pale face was eerily familiar. “Oh my God, Vi! Is this why you've been feeling moody and bloated?!”

“I'm not moody or bloated!” she retorted through a sniffle.

Naomi folded her arms.

Violet exhaled. “There's a Walgreens a block away from here.”

The woman and her maid of honor rushed out of the bathroom, then out of the bridal suite and down the corridor at top speed.

“We got a runaway bride, y'all!” Raven shouted.

---

“What do you think is taking so long?” Matt nervously asked Jake.

“It takes women a long time to do everything, especially weddings. Just be patient.”

The man took a deep breath and continued to wait for the love of his life.

---

Violet's full skirt was gathered in her hands while Naomi carried the caboose as they skittered down the New York street in four inch heels. The sight earned them honks from cabs, cheers from passersby and premium ratings from the Bridezilla cameras.

When they finally made it to the pharmacy, it was a Deja Vu moment as they each grabbed a handbasket. The women quickly cleared out the pregnancy test section before grabbing a case of plastic cups and a liter of orange juice.

“Are we really doing this here?” Naomi asked as they entered the pharmacy bathroom stall.

“Yes! It's clean enough. Besides, I don't need these people in my business,” she said as she closed the door, blocking off the cameras.

---

Word of Violet's disappearing act quickly spread throughout the church and her father couldn't have been more excited.

“I'm just upset that she literally ran. Why didn't she take the Lamborghini I rented for such great emergencies as this?”

---

“Okay, how are we going to do this?” Naomi asked.

“Get under there.”

“Under your skirt?!”

“Yes! Pleaseeee, Naomi. You know I can't see my vagina, let alone reach it in this dress.”

The woman exhaled. “You're so fucking lucky that I love you like the abusive sister I've never had.”

Violet grinned and lifted her skirt, allowing her friend to crouch down and close her eyes as she removed the bridal thong. “Just place the cup between my thighs, I can hold it up like that.”

Naomi obliged and exited Violet's crinoline as quickly as she could.

“Jesus, you act like it's a sushi bar down there.”

“Is your vagina vajazzled?”

“...Maybe.”

---

Matt nervously paced the altar while Mr. Chachki cheekily made his way down the aisle alone.

“Wh-Where’s Violet?” Matt asked.

“She took my advice. She's gone.”

“What do you mean gone?”

“She ran, son! She realized that this isn't what she wanted. The wedding's off.”

Sharp gasps and low murmurs filled the congregation.

“You're lying,” Matt hissed as he stormed down the aisle pass the man. The second that he rounded the corner, he bumped into his sobbing daughter.

“Daddy, Mommy's gone! She's going to miss the wedding!”

Matt felt his heart swell in his chest as he came to the realization that he was right all along. There was no way that a woman like that could love him.

“Hey, heyyy,” the man cooed as he picked his child up. He refused to let her see him emotional. “It's okay. We won't let these outfits go to waste. There's a Marvel convention going on today. Do you want to go?”

“No, I want Mommyyyy,” she cried.

“I know, but she's not here right now, boo. We can go see Batman in the meantime. Okay?”

“Okayyy.”

With Clark in hand, Matt stormed out of the church doors with no intentions of looking back.

---

“Positive... positive... positive!” Naomi cheered as she read pregnancy test after pregnancy test. “Vi, congratulations! Today is like a two-for-one special!”

Violet burst into tears and her friend pulled her into an embrace. “How could this happen?!”

---

8 weeks earlier

“Is it safe to go condom free in the shower?” Matt asked. “Sperm is less effective in water. I mean that's just science, right?”

---

“Oh, God, my life will be over!” Violet wailed.

“No it won'ttttt. Clark was a surprise baby and look how amazing she turned out.”

“I meant my sex life!”

“Oh... probably,” Naomi said as she answered her phone. “Hey, baby… What?! Why'd he leave?! Oh my God. And where'd they go? Okay, okay, we're on our way.” She hung up. “Matt took Clark and left the ceremony because he thought you were a runaway bride…which is kinda fair.”

“Where is heeee?”

“At the Comic Con thing.”

Violet scowled. “With Shea. Naomi, get your sneakers. We have unfinished business to take care of.”

---

“This is amazing!” Clark squealed. She excitedly patted her father's leg. “Daddy, look! It's Storm!”

“You wanna meet her?”

The girl hid behind the man's pants leg. “I don't knowwww.”

“Aww, don't be scared, boo.”

“Matthew!”

“Okay, now you can be scared.”

Violet stormed through the convention shoving superhero after superhero out of her way.

“Nice costume!” someone complimented.

“Get out of my way!” she snarled as she spotted the man and stormed over.

“Mommyyyy,” Clark cheered, rushing into the woman's full skirt as if it was a snow bank.

“What are you doing here?” Matt demanded.

“Where is she?!”

“Who?!”

“Shea! I know you're at this nerd fest with her!”

“No,” he emphasized. “I'm sure she's here somewhere, but I wouldn't know. I'm here with my daughter.”

“You’re so full of shit, Matthew!”

“Says the bitch who left me at the altar!” he exploded.

Clark quickly covered her ears.

“I didn't leave you! Rushing to Walgreens, I was in too much of a panic to tell anyone what was going on!”

“Walgreens?” he scoffed. “You can't come up with a better lie?”

“It's not a fucking lie! I'm being followed every fucking where by Bridezilla cameras if want proof, ask them, asshole!”

Matt exhaled. “Fine. So you want to explain why you left Clark and I at the church with no explanation?”

“I threw up after tasting champagne and it all went downhill from there.” She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

The man couldn't process the rollercoaster of emotions that he was feeling. “Oh my God! Babe, why didn't you tell me?!”

“I literally just found out at Walgreens,” she sniffled.

He pulled her into an embrace. “Baby, I'm so sorry for thinking the worst.”

“You really think I'd run? Pfft, if anyone ever runs, it'd be you because I love you way too much for that.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” the man promised. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

They shared a kiss and the crowd that had gathered to watch the melodrama play out began to cheer.

“Let’s get married. Right here, right now.”

“But we have everything all set up at the venue,” she reminded.

“I know, but I can't go another second without you

being my wife.”

“I'm an ordained minister,” the overweight Deadpool announced. “I could officiant it.”

“Yes!” Matt cheered.

“Matthewwww,” Violet gasped in disbelief. “You really want to get married in front of all of these strangers dressed as superheroes and villains?”

There was an overwhelming applause at the prospect.

“I'd marry you on a boat. I'd marry you with a goat. I'd marry in a dumpster. I'd-”

“Okay, okay,” she rushed out of sheer excitement. “Let's do it.”

As Deadpool dusted the corndog crumbs off of his costume, Matt removed Clark's hands from her ears. “It's okay, boo! We're getting married here!”

“Here?!”

“Yes!”

“But what about the cake?!”

“We can eat the cake afterwards.”

“Yayyy!”

A nearby convention manager handed Deadpool a microphone. “Okay, do you, um-” He held the mic up to the man.

“Matt.”

“Do you take-” He held the mic up to the woman.

“Violet.”

“Do you take Violet-”

“Wait, can you say our full names?” she asked. “It just sounds more classy that way.”

“Okay. Do you-” He held the mic up to the man.

“Matthew James Lent.”

“Take-” He held the mic up to the woman.

“Violet Christine Chachki to be your-”

The small child snatched the microphone. “My name is Clark Christine Lent!”

The crowd cheered making the girl let out a shy giggle. She returned the microphone back to Deadpool.

“Okay, do you take her to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love, cherish and to protect from T-Ray?”

Matt laughed and Violet made a confused face.

“Who's T-Ray?” she asked.

There were low gasps that spread through the crowd.

“He's Deadpool's enemy.”

“Oh...and he's Deadpool?”

“Yes, honey.”

“Ohhhh, okay. I thought he was the Iron Man or something.”

“No, Mommy!” Clark protested. “Just sshhhh and repeat the words. You're embarrassing me and driving everyone coconuts!”

Violet laughed. “Sorryyy.”

“I do,” Matt promised.

“And do you, Violet Christine Chachki, take Matthew to be your lawfully wedded husband. To love, to cherish and to learn as much as you can about Marvel before you crash our convention in a fancy dress ever again?”

Everyone laughed.

“I do.”

“By the holy powers vested in me by the amazing Dr. Killebrew, I now pronounce you hero and...hero in training. You may kiss your bride.”

Matt eagerly tried his hand at romance by dipping his new wife and passionately placing his lips against hers.

“Enough icky stuff!” Clark protested. “Let's go get some cake!”

---

After putting on a second ceremony for their friends and family, the couple happily sashayed into the reception.

Clark danced with her disgruntled grandfather while her parents enjoyed each other's company...a little too much.

Matt kissed along the woman's neck and grabbed her ass while they swayed along to the music.

“Matthewwww,” she giggled. “Be appropriateee.”

“I can't help myselffff. You're beautiful and you're pregnant. We're married and you're pregnant. I wanna make love to you and make more babies but I don't have to ‘cause you're pregnant!”

“Ssshhhhh! I don't want everyone to find out this way. How do you want to tell Clark?”

“I... don't...know,” he said in between kisses. “Can we leave early for our honeymoon?”

Violet laughed. “I can not with you. Um, okay. We'll set an appointment for the ultrasound and make sure that everything is okay before we tell Clark.”

“Tell me what?” The girl with two bare handfuls of cake asked.

Violet jumped. “Clark! What did I tell you about snooping around, listening to people's conversations?”

“Wellll, if it's to get tea on the Starbucks bitch that gave you a full fat latte then-” the woman plopped some of the cake into her daughter's mouth. “You're just a little sponge, aren't you?”

Clark nodded.

To distract the girl from hearing any more secrets, the newlyweds started dinner early. Violet wrinkled her nose at the steak that was placed in front of her.

“So now I know why you've been extra picky lately,” Matt said.

“It doesn't look as good as it did last week when we did the food tasting,” she groaned.

“What are you craving? I'll get you anything you want.”

She looked at him and smiled. “Dill pickles and crunchy peanut butter.”

“Okay, Mrs. Lent.” He kissed her bare shoulder before pushing himself out of his seat. The man rushed to the nearest grocery store, grabbed the desired items and placed them on the conveyor belt.

“Nice suit,” the brace faced, teenage checkout boy said.

“Thank you! It's my wedding day.”

“Oh, wow, congratulations.”

“Wait, there's more. I also just found out that my wife is pregnant!”

“Holy Toledo! You work fast, don't you?! Get over here!”

Matt accepted the hug from the stranger.

“You wanna be my daddy too?” he whispered into the man's ear forcing Matt to snatch away.

“If I wasn't in such a good mood, I'd punch you for that,” he chirped as he grabbed the peanut butter and pickles. “Have a good day, buddy!”

---

As Matt gnawed on his steak with one hand, his other hand managed to grope Violet's thigh while she happily ate her peanut butter dipped pickles.

“Alright, alright, how's everyone doing tonight?” Naomi said into the microphone. “I just want to take a moment to say a few words to my new brother. Matthew, we haven't come very far fashion wise, but I've seen a monumental change in you. You've stepped up to the plate and you're taking care of my sister. I really love how happy you make her, so let's continue to do that and I wish you guys so many years of love and happiness. I love you.”

“Thank you,” Matt replied while Violet blew kisses.

“My turn! My turn!” Clark squealed as she rushed to the stage. Naomi handed her the microphone. “I love my parents sooooo muchhh,” the girl said, speaking with her lips pressed directly against the mic. “And I love my dress and my dogsss, Dr. Doom and Mr. Loki. And I love Grandmas and Grandpaaaa and my aunts and unclesss and my cousins and my toysss and my comicsss and my-”

“Can we give someone else a turn, CC?” Naomi asked.

Clark frowned. “But I'm not finisheddd.”

Naomi defensively raised her hands.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little starrrrrrrr. How I wonder what you areeee?” the girl squeaked into the microphone. Everyone waited patiently for her to finish, and when she received a standing ovation, Clark just knew that they all loved her performance so much that they just had to hear it again.

---

Mr. Chachki clutched the mic tightly in his fist. “I've been a part of my country club for about twenty-six years now and I've taken advantage of the various club activities. Horseback riding, archery, how to assemble an AK 47 in less than twelve seconds. To summarize: I love my children. And if anyone upsets them...well, you can just ask Abraham what happens.”

Rose's husband raised his champagne glass. “I still have the scars.”

Matt gulped.

---

“Twinkle, twinkle little starrrrrrr.”

---

“Um, this is fucking- I mean, freaking amazing,” Jake declared. “I'm lit. This fuc- freaking wedding is lit. The bar is open. I smoked a dubey beforehand and it's just...yeah. Matty, I fuck-freaking love your ass- butt, bro. Violet, you smell really good all the time so that's a plus. Um, I actually had a damn...darn...wait, is Clark allowed to hear 'damn’?”

---

Abraham lifted his shirt. “Scar...scar... spot where the arrow head is still lodged.”

---

“Twinkle, twinkle little starrrrrrrr!”

---

“Because 'darn’ and ‘damn’ are practically the same thing. Any-fucking-way, um, I had surprise for you guys...but I left it at home.”

---

Matt cleared his throat before he spoke into the microphone. “I don't think you guys realize just how much of a mess I was before I met Violet.”

“I do,” Raven interjected to everyone's amusement.

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt chuckled. “My wife...damn, it feels good to say that and have it finally coordinate with the person I'm currently with.”

Violet laughed and disapprovingly waved her finger at the man.

“I love you. I don't think I can stress that enough. And I...I...I just really don't want an arrowhead to be lodged in my shoulder.”

Everyone laughed with the exception of the seriousness of Mr. Chachki.

“Violet Christine, I love you with all of my heart and I'm so happy that we're expanding our family.”

Violet palmed her face.

“Damn...that was supposed to be a surprise, wasn't it?”

With tightly pursed lips, Violet nodded.

The man let out a nervous laugh. “Well…surprise!”

Violet pushed herself out of her seat and stormed into the nearest bathroom, swiftly followed by Naomi then Raven.

“I can't believe that he did that!” she sobbed as settled onto the floor, using the multiple layers of her skirt as a cushion while Naomi handed her tissues.

“Pfft, really? It's Matthew,” Raven reminded. “Just because you married him, doesn't make him any smarter.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Go away, Matthew,” Raven ordered.

“It's not Matthew.”

Violet recognized the woman's voice and frowned. “Shea?”

“May I come in?”

The woman reluctantly nodded her head so Raven slowly opened the bathroom door to let the woman in. She wasn't surprised to see her dressed as Catwoman.

“Sorry that I couldn't get formal. I just left the Marvel convention.”

“Clearly,” Violet sniffled. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to talk…alone,” she said as she looked at the woman's glowering bodyguards.

Raven scoffed. “No way.”

“It's fine,” Violet sighed. “The sooner we talk, the sooner she can leave.”

It wasn't the attitude that Shea wanted, but she'd take what she could get. The woman's bridesmaids reluctantly left the room just to stand on the other side of the door to listen.

Shea’s leather squeaked as she sank to the floor next to the Violet. “So, I saw you guys at the convention and I didn't want to interrupt the moment. It was beautiful.”

“Thank you,” the woman sniffled.

“And congratulations on your pregnancy, girl! I haven't been so lucky, but I'm still trying.”

“Don't wear a condom in the shower,” she suggested.

“Um...thanks for the advice. But really, I just saw Jake's location on his Instagram post and I wanted to stop by to congratulate you. I was hoping that we could be friends.”

“Well, I don't hate, hate you.”

Shea smiled. “That's good enough for me. And I'm really sorry that Matty ruined your pregnancy announcement. He's a little slow sometimes but there's a way of controlling him that you have to master. The secret: his ears.”

“But that's the thing! He totally doesn't listen!”

“The secret isn't listening. It's his ears...literally. They're like hot wired to his dick and if he stroke them enough, he's putty in your hands.”

“Really?” Violet gasped as she processed the information.

“Yes! And if he's drunk, he'll jizz in his pants.”

“No way!”

“Yes, way!” Shea giggled. “This is my wedding gift to you. Use this secret to get him to behave.”

“That's fucking amazing. Thank you so much, Shea,” Violet said as she extended her arms and invited the woman into an embrace.

“Let me in!” Matt demanded on the other side of the door. “She's my wife!”

“And that doesn't give you a right treat her like shit,” Naomi retorted.

“I'm not treating her like shit! In my overexcited state, I just shared the good news at my wedding. Is that really so bad?”

“Let him in!” Violet shouted.

Seconds later, Matt entered the bathroom and was surprised to see Shea.

“What are you doing here…dressed as Catwoman?”

Shea pushed herself off of the floor. “Talked to Violet, just left comic convention.”

“So did we! I really wish that we would've ran into each other s-”

“Shhhh, Matty. That's not important right now.” Shea made her way towards the door. “Congratulations, guys,” she said quietly before exiting.  

Matt crouched to the floor in front of his wife and wiped her tears away.

“Thank God for waterproof mascara, right?”

The man frowned. “Baby, I'm sorry for spilling the beans. I just got way too caught up in the moment.”

Violet sighed. “It's okay. My biggest issue is getting people too excited too soon. I mean, I have no idea how far along I am- I don't like to count my eggs before they hatch.”

“That makes sense but this baby will be fine. I can already tell how strong he is.”

“He?” Violet challenged. “You remember what happened the last time you assumed that you were having boy? It took you like three days to flawlessly use the correct pronouns for Clark.”

“Yeah, yeah, but I'm sure that he's going to be an actual ‘he’ this time.”

The newlyweds laughed. “Only time will tell.”

“In the meantime, do you forgive me?”

Violet nodded and when they shared a kiss, she took the opportunity to grab the man's right ear.

“Wh-Whatcha doing?” he panted.

“Nothingggg,” Violet said mischievously as she began to massage the man's lobe. The woman was amazed that Shea was actually being truthful, let alone see Matt writhe under the simple touch.

“Baby, babyyy, what are- ughhhh.”

“I forgive you for being a big mouth, excited father, but I want another Birkin for the slip up and a pair of Manolos when my feet get too swollen for my regular shoes. Okay?” She gave his ear a firm squeeze.

“Fuck! Yes! Anything you want- it's yours.”

She smiled, released his ear and stole a kiss.

“Did Shea tell you about that?!”

“Yes. But I don't need it. You'd buy me nice things whether I manipulate you or not because you love meeee.”

Matt grabbed the woman and kissed her all over. “I do, I do, my snuggle wuggle bunny.”

As Violet giggled, Clark slowly pushed the bathroom door open. The wide eye girl moved like a baby Frankenstein and was so excited that she began hyperventilating as she approached her mother.

“What's wrong with you?” Violet asked.

“I'm...going...to be...a big...sister!”

“Awww, sweetheartttt! Well, if everything goes-”

Clark placed a sticky hand over her mother's lips to silence her. A year ago, the woman would've had a full on panic attack, but motherhood had desensitized her to child induced messes.

“Don't speak.” She turned to her father. “When will the baby be here?”

“I'm not sure yet. We have to go to the doctor, they can tell us.”

“Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?”

Violet mumbled against the girl's hand but Clark pinched her lips. “Sshhhhh! Ladies with babies can't talk!”

The woman did her best not to laugh.

“Daddy will be your transmitter. Okay?”

Violet nodded.

Clark turned to her father again. “Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?”

“I'm not sure yet. We have to go to the doctor, they can tell us,” he repeated.

“Ugh! Why don't you know anything?!”

“Because I'm not a doctor.”

Clark groaned. “Well I am. I'll tell you all about this baby.” She let go of her mother's lips. “Mommy, lay down.”

“I'm not putting my head on the floor, Clark.”

“Do you wanna know about this baby or not?!”

“I do bu-”

“Then you have to listen to the prosexual doctor! I watch more Doc McStuffins than you so I know what I'm doing!”

Violet went to correct the girl but the cackling Matt pleaded for his wife to let the her continue. He removed his suit jacket and placed it on the floor. “You are now protected from the floor. Lay down and listen to the prosexual doctor.”

The woman rolled her eyes and obliged.

“Daddy, I need your phone.”

The man handed the device over to the small child and watched as she turned on the flashlight. She shined it in Violet's face.

“Hmm..” the girl hummed. “This doesn't look good.”

“What is it, doctor?” Matt asked.

“I can't put my finger on it.. let's listen to the baby.” Clark crouched to the floor and placed her head against her mother's abdomen. “Holy Batman!” she shrieked as she sat up.

Violet jumped. “What's wrong?”

“That baby is yelling!”

The woman rolled her eyes. “Clark, babies don't-”

“What is it saying?” Matt eagerly asked.

Clark returned her ear to her Violet's stomach. “The baby says... it's dark in here and...it wants cake! Okay, little baby, I'll get you some cake!” Clark jumped to her feet and sprinted out of the bathroom.

“I think she has a gift,” the man said honestly.

Violet sat up. “I need to get out of here before that child tries to feed me cake in the bathroom.”

“Good idea.”

Matt quickly stood and helped his wife to her feet. “Are you ready for Paris?”

Violet nodded just as a grimace crossed her face before she rushed into the toilet stall to vomit. Clark burst into the bathroom with two platefuls of chocolate cake. “What'd I miss?”

The woman continued to retch.

“Paris is looking bleaker by the minute. Babe, do you think we should postpone the honeymoon?”

“Until when?” Violet demanded. “When I'm six months pregnant and huge?!”

“No, just until you feel better.”

“News flash, Matthew: pregnancy sucks! I felt like shit throughout the entire first one!” She turned to Clark. “No offense.”

The girl shrugged. “Eh.”

“Well, what do you want to do, babe?”

“Let's-”

“Let's go to Disney World!” Clark suggested.

“We just left Disney World three months ago, boo.”

“Excisely! Three months is a long time. We're due back anyyyy day now.”

“It isn't a half bad idea,” Violet said as she wiped her mouth. “You guys can ride the rides while I eat and wave at you.”

Matt laughed. “That's exactly what happened last time.”

“True but it was fun.”

“Then Disney World it.”

“Yayyyyy!” Clark shrieked. “This is the best day ever!”

“And what does the baby say?” Matt asked.

The girl rushed over to her mother and urged her to lean down.

“Hmm... it's still dark in there...and the baby still wants that cake and oh? What's that? Clark should have a pony?! Yes! You're right, baby, you're right! You'll be the best little brother or sister ever!”

“Get over here, you!” Matt said as he scooped his daughter into his arms. “Let's go get your things packed.”

The family exited the bathroom and as they left the venue, their wedding guests bid them farewell with the bubbles that they blew. Clark eagerly popped them while their getaway car pulled up.

Matt's jaw dropped. “Is that my Batmobile?!”

“Yeahhh,” Violet sighed. “As ugly as it is, I just couldn't let you sell it.”

“Ah, I love you!” Matt shouted as he squeezed her.

“Too tight, too tight,” she wheezed.

“Sorry! Babe, let's go!” The man pulled his wife and child along and they hopped into the specially made sports car.

*-*-*-*

Raven pulled her wife onto the dance floor and Naomi buried her face into the crock of her neck as they swayed. She got a good sniff of the other woman's hair.

“What's that smell? Is that...lighter fluid?”

“Nope.”

Naomi made the face. “Where is your purse?” The woman began to storm off.

“Babyyyy,” Raven groaned as she followed her. “The matches and lighter fluid are only for emergenciessss.”

*-*-*-*

“Ah!” Jake squealed as he sprinted away from Mr. Chachki's arrow. “I'm sorry!”

“Nobody curses and references drugs like that in front of my grandchildren!” the man shouted before releasing the weapon, sending it straight into the man's ass cheek.

*-*-*-*

Shea grabbed her purse and raised an eyebrow at the envelope that was sticking out of it. The woman checked the contents and was surprised to see two first class tickets to Paris. She grabbed the note and read the elegant script.

“‘I refuse to sit on an eight hour flight feeling like shit. Take your boo to Paris and get your ass knocked up!  ❤️  Violet’. Awww! I love that bitch. Now I have to throw away my shady crop top.”

*-*-*-*

“We're the Super Lents!” Clark shouted as her father sped down the road in his Batmobile. The cans tied to the bumper clattered against the asphalt drawing the attention of everyone who cared to read the 'Just Married’ sign attached to the back, the symbol of a new chapter in the young family’s life.