#Nart is working my last nerve

[respectthepetty]

Club Friday Episode 3

I'm watching Club Friday The Series: Moments & Memories, so you don't have to.

It's based on a true story, it's only four episodes so we are already halfway done, all the characters are queer, and IT'S MESSY!

Last week, we left off with Rey proposing to Nart which was bonkers and EVERYTHING was blue because this is about to get depressing.

I've got my wine, and I'm ready for round three of Exes and Oh-Hell-No's.

Why is there an MC for their wedding vows?! Girl, shut up! Having a countdown for a kiss like you're announcing the coming of the New Year fells crusty. No, chick. NO!

Y'all are so stupid for inviting the exes. It's as if you wanted them to stop the wedding with their toxicity. Pun stood in the middle of that aisle FOREVER instead of sitting her ass down, and Pol is standing behind a tree, in white, just smiling away. Y'all welcomed the drama!

NART YOU WERE ALREADY FUCKING POL ON YOUR WEDDING DAY AT THE VENUE IN THE BATHROOM?! I didn't think I'd write this but Rey deserves better than all of these people and if everyone dies except her and her kid, then let it be!

The blues. I'm obsessed.

This boss, Jess, is gonna cause problems. I feel it! But Nart came for him directly. DAMN! If only he could be this direct with Pol instead of fucking him behind his wife's back!

NO, GOD, NO! I need more wine! This is not the way, lady. IT'S NOT THE WAY!

There is not one line that Pol has uttered that I have not loved. He sent Nart a picture of his thighs and Nart came running, so let's not play games here, Nart. Pol owns you, and you like it.

THIS FUCKING CUNT! I love him so much.

This dinner is more awkward than a 2015 and 2016 Thanksgiving meal in America combined. Those were some rough years for family gatherings in the United States, but this shit is worst.

"It's hard to be the middleman" - Then maybe you shouldn't have FUCKED YOUR TOXIC CHEATING EX ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, SIR!

As usual, Rey and Nart invited the drama in just like their wedding day, but unlike Rey who hasn't been in contact with Pun, Nart can't seem to end this even while he is looking at Rey like she will tell him not to go. Nart, make a decision for yourself! WEAK!

Rey where is your hand going?! You can't be crying and thinking about your husband with that slut while you do this. NOT UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, MAMI! NOOOOOOOO!

This show is going to break me in only four episodes. I will forever be changed in the worst way when this is all done. And next week is the last episode, so it will be a fucking disaster.

Jess is going to assault Rey because he is upset that she is the only woman to ever turn him down

Rey is going to smash a bottle over his head and threaten both him and Pol

Rey is going to crawl back to her toxic ex because the woman REFUSES to be single for more than a second

and Nart is going to die or at least he should because the body count has got to go up if Rey ends up with a kid

I AM SO EXCITED!

[kakakakashi]

Ivory or Cream?

Iruka Umino x Reader || NSFW

Warnings: porn without plot, Nart interrupting, basically just blowing everyone’s favorite sensei under his desk

Word count: 2067

A/N: I’m sorry. I love Iruka, but I’m no good at writing him. I tried. I’m going to hell. Blame this.

-

The day was finally over for Iruka, and you’d been patient all day. As soon as the school bell rang and the sea of preteens sprinted out of the building, you maneuvered inside. With the yellow daffodils behind your back, you strolled the familiar path to his now empty classroom. He sat at his desk in the front of the room, hunched over papers with a red pen tapping against his temple. The man was an absolute angel. He was sunshine incarnate, and you were so grateful that he was yours.

A quiet knock at the doorframe alerted him to your presence. He looked up with a smile igniting his features.

“Mind if I come in, Iruka-sensei?”

“Of course!” Iruka laughed at your little remark. The sound made you felt as though you were walking on air while you hopped down the stairs to meet him. The moment you arrived at the front of his desk, you whipped the small bouquet out from behind your back.

Iruka’s brows knit together in a micro-expression, prompting you to explain, “For the father of the groom.”

With a playful roll of his eyes, Iruka stood from behind his desk to meet you on the other side. While he reached out to take the flowers, his free arm wrapped around your waist to pull your body flush against his.

“Thank you, darling,” his voice practically dripping with devotion and adoration while his tender gaze held your own, “It was a bit of a rough day, and you’ve made it a hundred times better.”

“Oh no,” you were immediately concerned, ready to end whoever made him stressed, “what happened?”

“Nothing specific. Just a lot of little things.”

Iruka’s thumb stroked your back from where his palm was splayed to keep you close. You noticed the way his dark eyes flickered towards your mouth, so you took initiative. Cupping his cheek, you leaned in to meet Iruka’s soft lips with a kiss. You cherished the way he was so careful with you while simultaneously pouring all of his love for you into the embrace. It sparked goosebumps all across your skin.

It didn’t take much for heat to simmer between you two when Iruka’s hand started to wander south while your palm on his cheek wrapped around his neck, threading your fingers through the hair that had fallen from his ponytail throughout the day. Neither of you could help leaning further into the kiss, pressing against each other in a more desperate sense while your lips danced against each other. There was no way you could ever get enough of him. You always needed more. He sparked a fire deep inside you that you couldn’t help. Lips sliding against each other, your hand that was still on Iruka’s chest began to trail down while you pulled away from the dizzying kiss only to breathily suggest, “How about I help you relax?”

“That sounds divine,” Iruka panted, a slight pink tinting his cheeks, “but I can’t leave just yet. These papers won’t grade themselves, after all.” The disappointment in his voice was evident, so you came up with a compromise you knew he’d enjoy.

“I never said you have to go home.” You cocked a brow at him suggestively. Then, you leaned into him so your lips were right beside his ear. “Just sit back and relax.”

With a little nibble on his lobe, you pulled away from him a bit. He barely chased the lost proximity, but you were quick to take the flowers out of his hand and place them atop his desk, intertwining your fingers with his before leading him to where his empty chair sat.

“Y/N.” You could tell Iruka was barely holding on to his last shred of self-restraint when he seated himself in the swivel chair. “We can’t. Someone could see.”

“They won’t as long as you keep quiet, sensei.” The devilish smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth made Iruka aware that he was in for a hell of a ride, and he could feel his member twitch with excitement while you slowly kneeled to the floor and tucked yourself under his desk.

Slack jawed, he watched you grab hold of his chair by the arm rests and scoot it into position. In that moment, he thanked whatever gods were out there for bringing you to him.

“Go on, sensei. I thought you said those papers weren’t going to grade themselves.”

Your words sent heat straight to his growing bulge. He knew he had to listen, so he picked up his discarded red pen and tried his best to resume his work. However, the feeling of your palms ghosting up his thighs was making his head spin.

You enjoyed the fact that such a simple gesture could fluster Iruka so much. You could already see the tent forming in his pants from your perspective, and you couldn’t blame him. The whole ordeal was enough to make heat pool in your stomach too, especially with the risk of getting caught.

When your palm finally reached his stiffening cock, you rubbed the bulge through the fabric of his pants while a hiss escaped Iruka’s lips. You continued to alternate your pace and pressure until you knew he was desperate for more contact. It wasn’t hard to tell given the way he tried to keep his hips from bucking into your hand.

Your fingers found the button of his pants, and after popping it open, you drug the zipper down painfully slow while your eyes met his.

He looked so handsome like that, all flushed cheeks, ragged breath, blown pupils, and muffled grunts. You couldn’t wait until you could get him alone later that night, but for now, that could wait.

Next, you pulled down the elastic of his boxers just enough to let his dick spring free from its confines. Iruka’s shaft stood tall, not overly thick, but a bit longer than most, and you had to resist the urge to deep throat him right away. Instead, you licked your palm and wrapped your fingers around his length to begin stroking him slowly. You noted the way his throat bobbed with a swallow while you worked, slightly proud of the way Iruka was reacting.

Your tongue flicked past your lips to lick the pinkish head to collect the beading precum from the tip before you took the entire head past your puckered lips to suck ever so slightly. It was just enough to get his hips to search for more, but not enough to satisfy that need the slightest. Instead, your mouth retreated only for you to lean forward a bit more. Your now extended tongue was quick to find a prominent vein along the underside of his member, and you flattened it against him , running the pressure along the entire length, only switching to flick more precisely once you returned to his head.

You noticed that his grip on the red pen had tightened substantially while you teased him, and it made you inwardly smile.

After a few more kitten licks to the tip, you finally gave him some form of relief, wrapping your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks out, and taking him as deep as your throat as you possibly could. Your nose almost came into contact with his pubic bone with how deep he was, and you were trying your best to repress your gag reflex, but the action was short lived.

“Hey, Iruka-sensei!”

You immediately pulled off of him with a pop at the sound of Naruto’s voice.

You could hear the confusion and concern in his voice when he continued, “Are you alright? You look like you might pass out or something.”

You smirked to yourself in satisfaction at the mess you’d made of him while you continued staring at his throbbing cock. He wouldn’t be happy, but you couldn’t help yourself. You took him back into your mouth, although not as deep this time. Now, you began to bob your head.

“I’m al– Shi…” Iruka paused, trying to hold back his reactions. His voice was a little strained, and it just spurred you on further, twisting your tongue just the way he liked it while you worked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth with your hand. “Sorry, Naruto. Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a rough day. What’s up?”

Iruka was gripping his red pen with white knuckles while his free hand came to rest on his spread thigh, digging his nails into his pants to keep himself somewhat grounded. Seeing how worked up he was, plus the sensation of him swelling in your mouth almost made you feel a little bad for him. Almost. However, if you could get away with this in front of anyone, it would be Naruto. So, instead, you continued your assault, using your free hand to reach between your legs and under your pants.

“I just needed your help with something. Hinata and I have to pick a napkin color for the wedding, and apparently, we’re debating between ivory and cream. I can’t tell the difference to save my life, but I’m scared to pick the wrong thing. What if Hinata doesn’t like the one I pick?”

Your fingers began circling around your clit while Naruto spoke, and the action caused you to moan ever so softly around Iruka’s length in your mouth.

“Aaah–I think that…” Iruka tried to pass his moan off as a part of his sentence, but you knew he was struggling to even form a coherent thought at the moment. Especially because he peered under the desk to see why you did that only to find you touching yourself while pleasuring him like your life depended on it. “I think that Hinata would like whatever you pick.”

God, Iruka was about to go mad with how good your mouth felt around him with every drag against him, and now he knew you were touching yourself too. He could already feel his orgasm approaching, his dick twitching between your lips ever so slightly as the wave began to build in his stomach. His veins were flooding with pure ecstasy and adrenalin, clouding his brain with pleasure. Electricity ran through his nerves while he tried his best to keep from meeting your mouth with your strokes. He could feel that knot in his stomach tightening further and further the more you stroked him, drooling and gagging all over his cock like you were made for it.

God, he couldn’t even hear Naruto talking anymore. He was so close. He felt like his heart was about to burst while his toes curled beneath his desk, your mouth working faster and faster over him while you moaned barely soft enough for Naruto to miss.

And then, the knot snapped.

Everything washed over him while he spilled his release past your swollen lips. You aggressively worked him through his high while he gripped onto his pen and his thigh for dear life. His thick ropes of cum shot into your ready mouth, and he could have sworn he left his body. The groan that came from deep within him had to be covered by a cough, but Naruto seemed none the wiser.

Iruka only relaxed once the shockwaves of mind-numbing pleasure seemed to calm through his body, and you released him with a pop. He glanced down just in time to see you swallow the last bits of his load, licking your swollen lips of the residue while you continued working on yourself under the desk. Iruka could tell you were close because you were biting your lip harshly, but he returned his gaze to Naruto when he heard him ask, “What color do you think, Iruka-sensei? Cream or ivory?”

Iruka didn’t have to think twice when he glanced back down at you. Your hips were frantically bucking against your own hand in your pants, and he noticed your body begin to quake while you threw your head back. Your orgasm wasn’t anything special, but getting yourself off to the sight of Iruka had wound you up plenty. The high washed over you like a gentle wave of the ocean. Your walls clamping down on nothing while your eyes rolled back into your head. Goosebumps prickled your skin, and Iruka nearly got hard again at the sight.

“Cream!” He exclaimed almost too eagerly.  

[echeveriia-moved-accounts]

Get To Know Me

man i love oversharing so here’s another one of these 

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people

THE LAST: 1. Drink: coffee 2. Phone call: probably with one of my parents, but all that’s showing up in my call history is the endless calls from the red cross asking for my blood that i ignore 3. Text message: with @elliox​ 4. Song you listened to: scream - 2ne1 5. Time you cried: hmm i don’t really remember but it was probably about my cat

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: buddy i’m always depressed

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: green, blue, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes! i made friends with @some-good-meme​ this year and also got closer to @nart-snart​ and i’m love you guys 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes i love when that happens 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i can’t remember but maybe? 19. Met someone who changed you: not really 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, and i assume anyone i don’t recognize is someone from elementary school who i just forgot about 23. Do you have any pets: three cats and a bearded dragon 24. Do you want to change your name: idk i mean i don’t really like my name but i don’t know what i’d change it to 25. What did you do for your last birthday: not much, i went out to eat and got a chocolate turtle cake to celebrate 26. What time did you wake up: sometime after 11:00 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching psych 28. Name something you can’t wait for: going to college in august! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 5 minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i really wish i’d done more outside of school during high school, like i wish i’d joined a club or something and gotten a job. i feel like it’s gonna put me at a disadvantage eventually cause other people actually did stuff with their lives  31. What are you listening right now: madness - muse 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ...i actually don’t know haha 33. Something that gets on your nerves: the sounds of other people eating 34. Most visited website: probably this blue hellsite

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: i have a couple on my arms 36. Mark/s: i have freckles all over, but they’re a lot more faded now than when i was younger 37. Childhood dream: i didn’t really have one specific childhood dream idk 38. Haircolor: red 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope 41. What do you like about yourself: *visibly straining against my self loathing* i really like my drive to work hard and be successful cause as long as it’s there i know i won’t give up on myself 42. Piercings: i’ve got two earlobe piercings on each ear, and two cartilage piercings on my left ear (one of the cartilage piercings is closed, though, and so is one of the earlobe piercings on the same ear) 43. Bloodtype: o+ 44. Nickname: crusty (lmao) 45. Relationship status: single and a strange and confusing mixture of happy and lonely 46. Zodiac: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: star trek (especially the next generation, deep space nine, and enterprise)

49. Tattoos: i don’t have any but i want to get some 50. Right or left handed: right handed 51. Surgery: i had minor knee surgery when i was 14 in an attempt to correct my leg length discrepancy, but it didn’t really help that much 52. Hair dyed in different color: just the bottom, i had a gradient from my natural red to black 53. Sport: haha nope i’m no good at any sports 55. Vacation: ...is this asking about a favorite vacation?? the last couple summers my family and i traveled to a bunch of different national parks so that was really cool, i especially liked glacier national park and banff/lake louise 56. Pair of trainers: what the hell does this mean lmao

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: go to bed 61. Waiting for: my college’s counseling department to email me back so i can try to get some help haha 62. Want: the sweet release of death 63. Get married: possibly??? i have no idea 64. Career: i wanna be a doctor someday

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older?? idk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach i guess 71. Sensitive or loud: ehh kinda more on the sensitive side 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes                                                                                       76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope, i don’t wear them 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: no 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: my initial reaction is “lol no” but honestly i do believe in myself. i’m strong and i’m gonna succeed 85. Miracles: not magical ones but the random happenstance ones yes 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: sure if that’s what someone wants to do

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: jack 91. Eye color: grey 92. Favorite movie: spirited away

I tag: everyone i already tagged in the post, @nicheofnight, and anyone else who wants to do it