#Names changed for confidentiality obvs

[teaboot]

I love your post about being a security guard. Would you please tell us about some of the cool people you meet at work?

Ooooh I can do that!

One time on foot patrol I got called to talk to a guy who had his pet off-leash, right? And there's a pretty big road nearby, and some restaurants, so I head over to see if I can convince him to leash what I believe to be his dog before it runs into a diner or humps the wrong leg or gets clipped or whatever

But I get there. And I see the guy, he's exactly as described, but there's no dog nearby so I'm kinda confused

But then I see his parrot

And I'm trying to keep a straight face when I get there but I'm in uniform and he sees me and stops and the three of us (me, him, parrot) kind of just stare at each other

And I dont know what to say, I have not been trained for this, and I'm trying to figure out if this is even a problem or not, so I just tell the guy, "I'm gonna be real with you man, this is a new one for me".

And to his credit the dude was actually very kind and polite, introduced me to the bird and all. Little fella made some *frighteningly intelligent* eye contact with me the whole time, of course.

Anyways it turns out the bird was about sixteen years old and smarter than me, so I told them they were both above my pay grade and were good to go as long as they didn't go into any eating establishments, since technically it'd be a contamination risk.

VERY cool afternoon.

Also another time a very cheerful woman claimed she could read auras and told me mine was yellow, and I got to tell her that yellow was my favourite colour, which was cool!

And one night I was on mall duty and I found six teenagers all crammed into one of those 25-cent kiddie rides shaped like a school bus, which was hilarious, but I had to tell 'em "I am so sorry, this is the best thing I've seen all day, but I do need yall outta there, I love you all" (the ride things have weight limits and break down constantly, it's a pain in the ass.)

Aw shit, this other time I found two teen boys pushing each other in a shopping cart- and they were having such a great time, I felt so bad, it's exactly the kind of shit my brothers would do- and I think that one was like "sorry guys, liabilities, do it where I can't see you".

And this one probably shouldn't be funny but there was this guy with a bike, right? Belligerent, abusive towards staff, falling-down drunk, you know? And I was supposed to get him out of the building, but instead when I asked him to make his way out he jumped onto the bike and started riding around me in circles shouting "WHORE! WHORE! WHOOOOOOOORE!"

Same guy, the day that I first met him, he was peeing at a payphone- I asked him for his name and he straightened up, put his shoulders back, and said with all confidence, "My name is Donald Finkley and I take it up the butt!"

His name was not Donald Finkley. The real Donald Finkley was someone he just didn't like very much

[rosamariaa]

I've been thinking a lot about a remus/sirius Ministry of Magic office AU..

Often I see ppl talking about what would Sirius work with if there wasn't a war going on and he could just live his life in peace and one of my favorite headcanons is that he would be an 'Unspeakable'. Those are the ppl that work in the department of mysteries, that by itself is one of coolest things in the wizarding world, according to me. The department of mysteries is responsible for confidential studies of death, love, time etc (A lot of crazy things that honestly no one should have to mess with but obvs they do anyways...) It's high-level security place, no one besides the researchers are allowed in those chambers. No one even knows who are those researchers and what they do, actually.

Buut, its sirius we are talking about and the guy is a genius but also can be pretty reckless and, in this specific scenario, I think he would be a borderline "crazy scientist" so. He fucks up down the line. I don't know what he does, exactly, but it's something that put his and others researchers' lives at risk. Bc of that, he is sent to work in a waaay more mundane department: Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. It's a cool department!! Remember that first poa scene where harry turns aunt marge into a balloon etc? well those are the guys who they call to fix that. They even have a Obliviators division, responsible for changing Muggles' memory in case they are exposed to accidental magic. Those guys are full of themselves and annoying as hell, btw.

and I see Sirius being sent there, after The Accident. It's cool in theory, but most of the time it's puuuure paperwork and it bores sirius to no end.

well, guess who works there as well. Our guy, Remus j. lupin.

Remus isn't one to do field work so he mostly works in the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee division (god I love those long ass names). Basically he comes up with stuff to excuse magic happening in the muggle world etc. like when peter killed a bunch of muggles and the muggle paper said it was a "big gas explosion". Pure paperwork. Boring as hell.

Anyway, Sirius turns up there out of nowhere and he is the office sweetheart. It fucking boggles remus mind, like. Sirius always goes to the office parties and seems to be friends with everyone but no one knows anything about this guy. He just gets there, a almost 30 yo with a bunch of obscure work experience and no one knows what he did before that, who his family is, where he is from and how the hell does he knows the stuff that he knows.

Sirius is great at field work, he mostly works directly in the Obliviators division and remus is really great with the paperwork stuff sooo they get paired up a lot. At first, they are a bit annoyed by each other (my fav wolfstar flavor). It's funny because they actually agree with almost everything but they just approach things veeery differently and so they are bickering all the damn time. And Sirius is a Certified Little Shit™ and is constantly doing things that drives remus a bit crazy. Once they had a case of a water fountain exploding bc two wizards were fighting in a public park and instead of obliviating the muggles into believing it was only a piping problem or whatever, he went out of his way to turn it into a sort of elaborate flash mob that went viral on tiktok. Remus spent the night awake documenting everything. He wanted to strangle sirius that day.

between late nights working and lots of crazy field work (thanks to sirius) those two end up getting closer and closer. Remus still thinks Sirius is a bit insane, but now in a I-want-you-to-fuck-me-into-this-desk type way. Sirius, on the other hand, doesn't let go of his previous research. I think that back then he would, specifically, study and experiment a lot with Love, in special familial love (yep.) The thing about those confidential dept. of mysteries' experiments is that they can be pretty... unethical. And that's the break point of their story: Remus finding out about Sirius research and finally wondering at what lengths did sirius went to understand something as complicated as Love and what the fuck he did to get banished from the department back then, and worse: if he ever used remus in those experiments. and even more worse: The fact that remus doesn't stop loving him even if he did.

A last fun fact is that they, at one point, would have an inside joke about that "MIB: man in black" movie, they watched it together one late night and sirius kept referencing it when he went to obliviate muggles and remus thought it was the funniest silliest thing ever

[bullet-prooflove]

@annieradcliff honestly I have no idea what her plan is. I think it's just too much to get her head around right now so shes trying to create her own breathing space.

I kind of envision that they both aren't in the same sphere for a few days anyway due to shifts. He sort of notices that her texts are a little different, like shorter, or shes too busy for calls or their usual video chat. Hes pondering over that and then maybe he comes across her name on an oncology referral, completely by accident and hes like wtf and confronts Will who obvs cant tell him anything due to doc patient confidentiality. He takes the rest of the shift off to go home and talk to her, and it all just comes spilling out and hes like we will figure this shit out. Cue him changing his work schedule to attend appointments and such.

The Diagnosis - Jimmy Lanik x Reader (feat Will Halstead)

Tagging: @annieradcliff@cosmic-psychickitty@giuls-ver@crazy4chickennuggets

You weren’t talking. You were simply sitting there on the hospital bed staring at Will Halstead as he cleared his throat anxiously, awaiting some form of response to the news he had just given you. Your  eyes were wide and apprehensive, your eyebrows curved into frown as you took in the information trying to slot the pieces together. Your pink lips were set in a grim line as you attempted to gather your thoughts. Your expressions unreadable. Will couldn't tell what you were thinking and he had no idea of what the right words were to say to the wife of his colleague.

"You’re sure?" You asked him in a voice completely devoid of emotion.

Will crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded you sympathetically. He despised being the bearer of bad news, especially when it came to someone he actually cared about.

"I ran the blood work twice." Will confirmed gently.

Your hands raked through your hair, gripping it to ease the trembling that was jutting through your nerve endings.

"What's going to happen to me?" You asked Will. "Should I be preparing myself for..."

You couldn't bring yourself to say the words because the images were rife in your mind already. Will sank down into the stool beside the bed as you put your head in your hands. It was like a hole was opening up in the ground below you and you were falling so fast, you had no idea which way was up.

This was not happening, you told herself. This cannot be happening.

"We need to run more tests.” Will said softly, before reaching out and clasping your hand.

There was so much despair in your features, and he was determined to do everything he could to take care of you.

"We can't tell Jimmy about this." You murmured, shaking your head vehemently. "Not until we know for sure what's going on. He doesn't need anything else to worry about at the minute."

You were terrified, he could see it in your eyes as you withdrew from him and wrapped your arms around her torso. Will had never seen you look like this before; every ounce of colour had drained from your features.

"I won't let you go through this alone." Will promised you. "We'll just take a quick look, see what's going on and discuss a treatment plan."

That was hopeful at best. You could see that Will was trying his best to be positive but no matter what he said you knew the outlook was far from good.

Love Jimmy? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Hello :) Since requests are now open I though of asking about this. It's been on my mind for a while( but since you seem to be retconning this idea you don't have to answer it). How would the rfa react to the vabverse children? Also I love your writing :)

AAAA you can ask me about vabverse at any time! I’m always a slut for vabverse.

The retconning only applies the twins, I’m sorry if it wasn’t clear. Eunha and Taehyun, the other two that I’ve written about, are still very much there and I’m going to do more with them. There’s also a third child called Seojun who I’ve done nothing with except decide he exists, haha. Basically, I loved the idea of identical twin daughters with V’s blue hair, but it just wasn’t practical in terms of how the story developed later. Obviously, if Jumin’s wife gave birth to children that held a very strong resemblance to another man, it would cause a scandal. The only way it wouldn’t is if the twins held an incredibly sheltered life, which I thought was unfair to them, so I wrote them out. Taehyun holds more resemblance to Nari than V, with the exception of having blue eyes and very, very light brown hair. The only people privy to the fact that he actually has Kim for a last name are obv V, Jumin, MC and trusted personal staff. Taehyun and Eunha would, for the most part, stay away from the media with only limited info about them released and they would consider both Jumin and V as their dads, so it wouldn’t be obvious to people who aren’t in the know, if that makes sense. It’s one of those things that people suspect but the proof is carefully hidden. I also imagine that, with everything in mind about scandals and free lives, Taehyun was an accident and not in the least bit planned. I can’t imagine they actually would plan to have him, considering there was no way they could have known if he would inherit V’s features and lose out on the same freedoms as his older sister. That would breed resentment between them and they’d want to be a big happy family.

Anyway I’ll shut up now dgfdgd

Seven and Jaehee are the only ones who work it out, but they keep it to themselves. Seven, obv, has access to confidential information and is in charge of the RFA’s security, so he for sure will have access to both Eunha and Taehyun’s legal records. I’m wondering if he would be told from the moment Tae is actually born. I actually think that he would help keep the secret safe, forging Taehyun’s name on duplicated birth certificates, medical records and DNA tests if such things come to light. If the presses somehow find proof of Tae being born out of wedlock to a different guy, he’ll wipe their databases. He loves the kids and acts like a favourite uncle, often babysitting them and teaching them pranks, which neither Jumin nor V are particularly pleased about because they’re always the ones to suffer. He loves playing around with them and buying them treats because he never got to have a childhood and wants to live vicariously through them. 

Jaehee is no longer at C&R by the time Taehyun comes along, but she would pick up on the changes in V when it’s his bun in the oven. With Eunha, he would be a lot less concerned about the prospect of being a dad and be completely over the top about loving on Nari and getting excited. He’s scared to death about holding Eunha when she’s actually born, but during pregnancy he’s all up in there, photographing everything and painting on Nari’s belly. He gets incredibly anxious when it’s actually Taehyun, though, both because the baby was not planned and may cause a scandal but also because he’s convinced he will mess him up somehow. I also think Taehyun’s hair would be the same as V’s for the first couple of days after he’s born and, as Jaehee and Nari are friends and she would go and visit, she would see and hold him while his is darkening but still not quite brown. She likes Taehyun and Seojun the best, mostly because she was still Jumin’s assistant when Eunha was born and she had to deal with Jumin’s over the top parenting and over protectiveness, which he’s a lot more chill about with Tae, having learned his lessons.

Yoosung would be low key scared of Eunha even before she’s born. Understandable, since she is the heir to C&R and Jumin is so much more extra as a dad than he ever was with Elizabeth or even Nari. He’s always nervous to be alone with her and, on occasions he babysits, will call Zen or Seven in a panic if ever she begins to cry. Which is basically all the time. The hilarious thing about all of this is that he actually wanted a daughter in later years (as referenced in the Valentine’s day DLC), but quickly changes his mind. Tae is a different matter, since he’s a happy, chill baby and loves to be held, pretty much always laughing and smiling at whoever holds him.

“Wow, he’s not at all like Jumin”

Nari, Jumin and V: *sweating*

Zen would think both kids are adorable, but refuses to say so if Jumin is present. Out of the two he grows most attached to Eunha and calls her princess, though I think tbh he just loves kids in general. He’s the loudest person to complain whenever Jumin spams the chat with baby pictures or discusses Eunha’s CEO future while she’s still a toddler and is the least diplomatic about how much pressure and expectations she’s born into. Nari would be polite, but firm, whereas Zen is literally like WTF JUMIN WYD SHE CAN’T EVEN READ BUT YOURE ALREADY PLANNING HER OFFICE. He’s not the favourite uncle, but he is the cool one who feeds them fish shaped bread and plays video games with them. Eunha 100% watches all of his shows as a smol and thinks Zen is really all of the characters in real life.

[peterpcrkcr]

My Hero | Spider-Man Imagine

Spider-Man X Reader Words: 1,059

Uh, I’m rating it PG-13 bc on one small sentence that can make children be very uncomfortable. Tom’s spidey obv. Don't worry about background information, just live in the moment. 

 Your shadows coming together against the expanse of the exposed brick building behind you, lit by the search light of a helicopter as it flew by. Your hand was trembling from the cold and from the nerves of having someone as brave and courageous as Spider-Man in your arms. The sounds you heard were that of your own heartbeat mixing with cars honking far off in the distance and the trickle of rain tapping the fire escape you stood on. He could hear your breath shake, heartbeat rise as you reach a hand forward to pull the mask away from his lips. The web that he was holding on to hardly looked strong enough to hold a regular spider. 

 One arm was wrapped around his torso to bring him closer, the other brushed fingertips over his warm skin. Peter gasped at the sudden chill your hands brought to him. It sent shivers down his spine, something not even the freezing rain could do. He heard Karen say something into his ear, but he wasn't listening. All Peter could focus on was the shine of the water over your skin, and the way you were looking at him. Ever since you said hello to him he'd only thought about getting to kiss you. You were his every thought since that day. Every villain he defeated, every robber he caught, was one less menace on the streets to harm you. Feeling you hold him close, your body pressed to his, made nothing else in the world matter for just a moment. 

 "Can I..." you whispered as you moved your thumb over his bottom lip. The droplets of rain smoothed over the bright pink of his skin to make them shiny. You looked up at his masked eyes through your eyelashes, bit your bottom lip. "Can I kiss my hero?" 

 Peter swallowed the lump in his throat before very slowly nodding his head twice. You took a deep breath and then leaned forward to press a very sweet and very light kiss onto his lips. If he had wings he'd have flown away and into heaven just by the softness of your touch. His heart rate spiked and his skin grew hotter with the seconds that passed by. He pressed forward toward you only a little, his eyes were wide open to watch the way your features fixed around kissing him, Peter Parker, surprised that you looked more than okay with doing it. If only you knew, he thought.

 As you pulled away your eyelids came open very slowly, as if waking up from a wonderful dream. You started to blush against the cold of the air, fighting the shivers that ached to dance. Peter's lips were still parted just slightly, his blush unrelenting in its deep hue. You grinned a soft grin, laughed at how happy you were to be alive. Peter reached a gloved hand to the side of your neck just under your jaw and pulled you back in swiftly. He wanted to savor how it felt to be the one you were kissing, so he tilted his head and poured himself over your tongue. You exhaled shakily as you moved your head side to side enough to rub your tongue over his in a greedy way. You wanted to eat him up, unmask and kiss every inch of his face.

 Peter wanted to run his bare hands through your hair. Feel the softness and see the way you moved when he did. He wanted to feel your mouth over his whenever you had the chance, but you could never know the truth of who he was. No one is supposed to know his true identity because nobody could ever love just Peter. He'd gotten his hopes up before only to let himself down. You wouldn't be that to him. Peter let Spider-Man have this one, he'd let Spider-Man have a million more if it meant they were coming from you. 

 As he pulled away you pushed forward with a small peck, kissed him a couple more times gently so that he would know how much this meant to you, how much you wouldn't mind seeing him again. You put your fingertips just under the edge of the mask as it rest on his cheeks and calmly pushed it up further, but Peter pulled away. 

 "What?" You asked in a soft tone. He shook his head as he pulled his hand away from your face. "I don't get to know who you are? Who saved me?" 

 "It's for the best-" he looked away from you, but you pulled him back by his chin as though he were in trouble. 

 "How am I supposed to really thank you for what you've done for me?" Your voice was low, eyes gleaming. He blushed. 

 "The kiss was thanks enough." He said honestly and confidentially. You smiled and it melted his heart. Peter was a puddle in your hands yet it didn't change the fact that you could never know. 

 "That's all it takes for us to be even?" You ran your hand down his cheek and to his chest, his stomach and lower abdomen. He gasped and jolted back so forcefully the web snapped just above his head. Peter landed on the ground and looked up to you, mask still up over his mouth. You leaned forward against the railing and smiled down at him. "You planning on leaving right now, Spider-Man?" 

 "I think so." He said firmly. You nodded a couple times, licked your lips.

 "Well, I'll see you around." You said over the rain and the cars and your heartbeat. Peter pulled the mask down under his chin. He shot a web out to a pole jutting out of the building across the street where a flag would hang if it wasn't terrible outside. One last glance up to you almost made him change his mind about leaving. 

 "See you around, (y/n)." He said before jumping out of the alleyway.

"Wait!" You yelled, but he was gone. Annoyed and confused you made your way inside your warm bedroom and sat down on your bed. You pulled off your soaking wet jacket and kicked off your shoes. Peeled your socks off your feet and shrugged off your pants. You shook your head and sighed. "How did he know my name?"

[androgynosaurus]

For the OC ask - Kendrick!

yee thank you! for help with visualisation: they’re basically Pidge from Voltron but with green hair

Full Name: Kendrick ‘Kez’ TeNaraGender and Sexuality: AMAB nonbinary (uses the third-gender marker ‘tria’), likes girlsPronouns: they/them or any neutral/third-gender pronouns from other languages Ethnicity/Species: Human, Kollinese-Daichian mixed raceBirthplace and Birthdate: Kollin Ring Colony III, 19th February, age 20Guilty Pleasures: fanfictionPhobias: public speaking, things not being cleanWhat They Would Be Famous For: that kid who got accepted to the Academy two years early for being super heckin’ smart What They Would Get Arrested For: hacking into Academy/NPDF records to steal confidential files or just mess with the code so it no longer functions OC You Ship Them With: when they first meet Tungsten they have a hella schoolkid crush on her (same tbh) but after a few months of furious blushing, awkward moments and a botched confession they realise it was just a brief infatuation and they still love Tungsten very much but in a Bros 4 Life kinda wayOC Most Likely To Murder Them: why would anyone want to murder Kez they have never hurt anyone??? tbh it’d be Seskey for something completely inane like throwing out his three-day-old leftoversFavorite Movie/Book Genre: clunky old sci-fi, or at the other end of the spectrum, 20k+ coffeeshop AU fanfic for their fave TV showsLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Pointless Hetero Romances (give them that slow burn!!)Talents and/or Powers: high IQ, high-retention memory, speaks six languages plus sign language, can code/hack almost anythingWhy Someone Might Love Them: they’re super perceptive and observant so always know if somethings up with you and are generally a very comforting and supportive friendWhy Someone Might Hate Them: their enthusiasm to show people cool stuff they’ve learned/created can sometimes come across as ‘look at this I’m so much smarter than you!!’ How They Change: they discover that not everything about life can be found in a textbook and sometimes you have to learn stuff from Real Life, and they also find out that brute strength isn’t the only way to be good in a fightWhy You Love Them: Kez is possibly the most like me out of the Big Four and obvs I’m very protective of my NB baby 

Ask me about one of my OCs

Tungsten is now the only one left out of the Big Four (core cast) that hasn’t been done so I may as well do hers too and if people are interested I can expand the list to supporting cast, or just ask questions about the ones I’ve done so far if there are gaps you want filling in or are just curious!! the list isn’t the best so there are some big chunks missing