#NOW you guys are posting about him more????? hes literally so. hmmmmmm. what a man.

[dilfsuzanneyk]

if you guys keep posting about that israel hands im gonna have to actually watch ofmd

[pinkrose05]

Random thought: Silver Wolf's virtual companions seem to loosely correspond to the other Stellaron Hunters (+ a bonus)

Warning: Long post

For those not in the know, SW's weapon holds an A.I of her creation, which she calls Prometheus (hmmm). Prometheus comes with five modules -the chibis pointed out above- each of which has its own special name: Friend, Demon Lord, Whitecollar, Servant, and Preschool Classmate.

I'm unsure if they all look and act the same as they did upon creation, so the theory here is that she based or modified them using her colleagues as inspiration after joining the Hunters. Now, here are the parallels I think make the most sense:

1) Friend -> Kafka. Most of SW's appearances are on joint missions with Kafka specifically, and that -along with the banter they exchange all the time- leads me to assume she's the closest colleague to our tiny hacker. Friend is also the first and currently only companion that actually talks to us ingame and outside of the game (she shows up in one of SW's lines and in her Keeping Up With Star Rail video), and who was the first Hunter we encountered in the story?

Yeah.

2) Demon Lord -> Ren. According to SW's second character story, the companion is inspired by a poster she saw one time, and she based it off the idea of a veteran who lost the ability to speak. Ren isn't perpetually silent, of course, but he's a man of very few words, and is strongly associated with demon imagery as well (that one vidyadhara elegy, the kit icons, the clothing design, etc.). I also think Demon Lord is the chibi on the top left with the sword, right next to Friend, and what would you know- there's only one Hunter we know whose signature weapon is a sword!

(That and he's also seen a lot alongside Kafka. Neat.)

3) Whitecollar -> Sam. Admittedly there's pretty much nothing to go on in regards to Sam, and that makes him a weak link in this theory, so I hope for some future crumbs that can clarify things. All we know about him so far is that he's a more straightforward and efficient sort of guy who doesn't fool around on the job- if SW's express visit line is anything to go by. That makes for a veeeery threadbare argument that he'd make a good whitecollar with these qualities, but honestly they apply to any job, and Sam obviously doesn't sit around in an office all day...

4) Servant -> Elio. This is a pretty simple one: Elio is literally called Destiny's Slave. If that's not Servant, then who is? More crumbs are always welcome to give further proof or contradict this assumption, but for now it seems pretty reasonable to me.

Bonus:

5) Preschool Classmate -> Trailblazer. This one is the most interesting to me because, here's a fun fact: Preschool Classmate was actually deleted soon after its creation. This parallels the Trailblazer being left behind to join the Express and set the script in motion, in a way, and might explain SW leaving alongside Kafka without talking to them at all. But then this raises the question of why she personally visits them at the express, and why she became their gamer buddy.... hmmmmmm.....

Overall, I think this is a pretty nice design element, and while my theory has little substance to go on, I think it would be better if this wasn't a mere coincidence. If anyone has anything more to share on the topic, then by all means, go ahead! I love hearing about small tidbits and trivia and fuel for the found family agenda!

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Omg Reaper 2.0's misogyny? I'm intrigued LOL especially since I don't remember a lot of details about him. So if you'd be willing to spill the tea... 👀

Ok everyone buckle up, it’s tea spilling time 😌🍵

Meta: 2.0’s Misogyny and Views on Gender Roles/Sociology

⚠️ TW: child abuse, domestic abuse ⚠️

So the specific instance I think of is during the Reaper arc, when the kids are breaking in to save Irina. And they first come face to face with him, and have to engage in combat. He takes them down effortlessly, we all know.

But...there’s a moment in which he purposely hits Kayano especially hard with his knee, and believes he has broken her ribs. He callously remarks, “Females are so fragile.”

Let’s break this down:

A. Kayano is literally the smallest girl/student. She is very petite, and everyone knows this. It's obvious even when she's wearing their uniform.

B. He knocked down everyone so easily, but seemed to take a particular joy in brutalizing her. A petite girl.

C. Given that he's been watching the class, he must've known that she was actually stronger than she seemed. But again, I question this particular violence and the comment afterwards.

For a while, I thought maybe he had just said that to be cruel for no reason. To rile them up and be an asshole. I mean, it would be fitting, right?

No. I came to the eventual conclusion that this man is a misogynist, for sure. And there are indicators that Koro, his only role model, might bear some resentment towards women himself.

There's also proof in the way that he treated Irina, even when they were "allies." He seemed to really disrespect her and look at her like a joke, despite her accomplishments as an assassin. And whatever worth he did believe her to have, he only thought it came from her sexuality.

Like...why else was Irina dressed down to only lingerie in the arc? Because it was part of his plan, and he looked down on her and her profession.

Expanding the context a bit, it really also does prove how he looked down on women. He had Irina appear half-dressed, upset, and completely weak before she tricked everyone. The embodiment of female fragility, and how sexuality is tied into that. I hope this is making sense omg

Now, moving onto his past~

I really recommend you read this awesome meta by @akamayumura (sorry for the tag!!) They delved into his childhood and psychological state very well, in my opinion.

We can infer that 2.0 grew up in a terrible household, and that is an equal contribute to his behavior, as well as the possibility of him having an anti-social disorder. I mean, he was so happy to see his father get killed in front of him...

Not only that, but he literally romanticized the killer. In that moment, he didn't experience grief, but gained a rose-tinted view of death. He literally begged Koro to go with him and grow into someone like that.

Clearly, there was some psychological reason for this. But that isn't unordinary for abused children to feel, having such a disconnect. He didn't view it as his father being murdered, but rather: a person he hated finally leaving his life.

And then he gained loyalty for the person who was responsible -> The Reaper.

I cannot find it for the life of me, but there is apparently a moment in canon where 2.0 describes his father as "tyrannical."

And you know what?

Usually in a household with an abusive tyrannical father, there is a weak, complacent mother.

This is so interesting that we're on this topic now, because I just read a book detailed all about this. It's called "Men Who Hate Women, and the Women Who Love Them" by Susan Forward. Please read it omg, it's so good and informative on how misogyny is engrained in childhood, relationships, etc.

But yeah!

This exact dynamic is a formula for men who grow up to be misogynistic because their first example of a woman in their lives is their mother, who is the victim in an abusive dynamic.

Here are some pictures from the book to help explain.

^ 2.0’s hatred towards his father

^THIS.

Either 2.0 grew up having to provide emotional labor for his mother, or there was none at all between them. Overall though, there is a sense of resentment and abandonment given that the father was so dominating, and his mother was a victim too.

Men who lived in households like this, often grow up into believing that women are to be controlled, because this is the example they had to go by for so long.

On top of that, there's a layer of resentment and distrust towards women because his own mother didn't stand up for herself and protect him. Why would another woman do so?

But to sum it up:

2.0 believes women are weak, fragile, easily controlled, and cannot be trusted at all.

There's evidence in his attack on Kayano, and the way he treated Irina.

Ahem, also notice how he seemed to act more professional around Karasuma, and took him much more seriously. Like yeah, Karasuma is more serious, but why on Earth would one of the best assassins in the world regard a government agent over another top-notch assassin?

If Irina were a male assassin, I definitely think the treatment and attitude would be different honestly.

ALSO.

2.0 loves flowers, we know! But there's another reason why he possibly used a flower shop guy as his cover.

To easily manipulate women, the target customers of flowers.

Hmmmmmm.

Anyways, yeah, we can deduce that his misogyny was born from his childhood of having an abusive father and seeing his mother as a victim.

Not to mention, that he spent most of his life with Koro, who definitely didn't treat him to respect women lmao.

I actually feel like Koro has his own personal resentment towards women/femininity...but before I make a post about that, I'll have to do more research.

Anyways, we all knew 2.0 had dad issues, but there are a lot of mommy issues on top of that.

This isn't me trying to cancel him or anything btw! He's still one of my favorite characters, I love him. I just find this characteristic of his to be pretty interesting and worth diving into. (Although I will admit, that Kayano rib scene upsets me a bit.)

So yeah! Hope you enjoyed this meta! And I hope this tea is hot enough 🍵🍵🍵

[phoebehalliwell]

Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

[youcantclipmywings]

Soooo...

TW discussion about my parent’s being racist and classist as well as talking about sex but this is a good news post!!!!

This is kinda an exciting update to write  lol. In my last post, I mentioned the guy who works in my neighborhood’s gatehouse that my friend had claimed was flirting with me. Even though I had initially thought he was just being friendly or flirty because he found my friend attractive, I’m definitely starting to believe he’s completely flirting with me. EXCITING! 

So after that first interaction when my friend was there, we didn’t see each other again for almost 2 weeks because shelter in place. But I had therapy and then was coming home afterwards and I pulled into the gatehouse and he knew my name and was acting genuinely excited to see me. He asked me where I was coming from and I said therapy and he asked me if I wanted to be a therapist and I was like “umm that’s the current plan” and then he was like “well how was it” and I was like “it was good” and then he said “just good...?” and I was like “yeah... I don’t know how else to describe it” and he started laughing and then was like “why are you in therapy” and I said “just to vibe” and he started laughing again and he said “you’re a little crazy, aren’t you?” and I said “yeah definitely” and he was like “me too... I just got out of jail a couple months ago so that’s how crazy I am...” and I just laughed cuz how the fuck am I supposed to respond to that? And then he said “you should stop by more often” and I said “I might just do that” And then he handed me my pass and I drove off. And I called one of my friends and was like “ok he’s definitely flirting but jail??” and so there’s definitely some shit to reflect on in regards to my family (I’ll explain further down).

And then I saw him Easter at night and as I was leaving the neighborhood he leaned out the gatehouse window and waved excitedly and then when I came back we spoke briefly just saying “Happy Easter” because he was just about to get off. 

Then this past Thursday I needed to go to the store so I went to grab stuff and then I drove back and he was so hyped to see me but one of his bosses walked in right after I pulled up so we kept just looking at each other and laughing. And then his manager left as he was handing me my pass and he said “I’m sorry our time go interrupted” and I said “you know at some point, you’re gonna have to tell me your name” because he knows my first and last name and my address and he was like “damn really?” and then we both laughed and then he said “I’m gonna keep it a mystery until next time” and I was like “I’m not gonna be back until Wednesday though” because I’m staying at my dad’s for a bit (no I’m not at risk of infecting anyone because he doesn’t see anyone else and the only other person I see is my mom who also isn’t seeing anyone else) and he was like “then come back later today”. So I got home and was like “hmmmmmm how can I leave for a valid reason” and I guess I manifested that shit because my mom asked me to pick up dinner a couple hours later. 

So I went to pick up dinner then pulled up again and he was like “damn you came back!” really excitedly and I was like “fuck yeah” and he said “why are you out” and I said “to pick up dinner” and he was like “why didn’t you get me anything? All I have to eat is canned chili” and I was like “you should’ve told me earlier!” and we both laughed and then he told me his name and I said “nice to meet you my name is *Edith*” and he was like “oh trust me, I know” and then he said “so where are you going? back to school?” and I was like “I wish but not anytime soon. I’m going to stay at my dad’s.” and he was like “oh where does your dad live” and I said the neighborhood and if you said it quickly I guess it can kinda sound like a dirty combination of words so he was like “where???” and I repeated it, not realizing he misheard it and thinking he was making fun of me for living in a really affluent neighborhood and then he was like “where?????” and I repeated it again much slower and he said “ohhhhhhh” then said it correctly and I then I realized what he thought I had said and was like “omg get your mind out of the gutter” and he was like “now I have a headache after thinking about what I thought you just said so I’m gonna let you go” and I just shook my head and then as I started to drive past “you sexy .....” and I turned around and looked at him with a happy shocked face (prob blushing) and he was laughing with a very proud looking face. 

I think he might be one of the only (maybe the only) guy(s) I’ve ever had a crush on/liked. Like, I really like him. He’s sarcastic, funny, friendly, attractive, honest, etc. I am worried he’s a fuckboy who just wants to fuck and doesn’t actually want some sort of relationship. I know myself and know I can’t lose my virginity to a one night stand. I need someone who’s genuinely kind and patient and willing to guide me through my first (consensual) sexual experiences. He seems kind and caring but I’m worried he won’t be once we can actually spend time together. But what if I’ve actually found a good guy? Unsure but that’s mostly because I have trust issues tee hee

Also, he’s only ever seen me sitting in my car. What if he’s no longer attracted once he sees the fat on my stomach or the fact that I literally have no ass? Yeah, I do have big boobs but that isn’t that big of a deal anymore. Big asses are in and mine is nonexistent. He’s definitely skinner than me.

Anyways, another “issue” is his race/economic class/fact that he’s been in jail. My mom isn’t racist but shes certainly classist and extremely judgmental of those with a record, and my dad is racist, classist, and judgmental of those with a records. He’s definitely black and might be mixed with something else, which I know would make my dad lose his shit without him even knowing the other two “issues” for my parents. I know they won’t be happy that he’s a guard at the gatehouse for my neighborhood because it isn’t a “good” or “impressive” job and they’ll absolutely lose their shit about the fact that he has a record. I think it will be important for me to find out why he was in jail, but I also know that there’s a reason why black men are incarcerated at a significantly higher rate than any other race, even if the same crime is committed. Also, jail means it was a misdemeanor, which is highly likely to be less severe or worrisome. And in regards to his job, I don’t really give a shit. There’s nothing wrong with working as a guard, especially as a young man right after being released from jail (but again I’m not judging anyone who has the job even if they aren’t young and have a record because there’s a need for people to have these jobs and fuck capitalism and also fuck the idea that you’re only worthy of respect if you have a white collar job). I don’t need a man to provide for me EVER. I will be successful doing whatever I do and while I expect my partner to provide for themselves and not rely on me, I would never expect them to pay for me. 

Sorry for the long ass update but this is so exciting and I felt the need to share an actually positive update since they’ve been pretty negative recently!!!! So yay! Please send good vibes my way and if you have any advice in regards to my parents or my fears about his intentions please send them my way because they’re definitely there....

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays calling cipher part 2

(Last Time on Calling Cipher... )

Lily, screaming, and banging her hands on the table: LET RILEY SAY FUCK

(jump cut)

Lily, screaming: LET RILEY SAY FUCK OUT LOUD! NOT IN HER HEAD! WE ALL SAY FUCK INTERNALLY! AAAAA

Brid: Lily, I am begging you to calm down. This is a video game! 

Lily: *literally falls off her chair* 

Brid: Lily? Lily, are you okay? Lily?

------------

Brid: Hey guys, Ace Hang is back again with more Calling Cipher! I’m Bridget!

Lily: And I’m Lily!

Brid: When we last left off, we finished the prologue, met our protagonist, thirsted over her... 

Lily: Mostly that. 

Brid: She was so cute, though... 

Lily: We also met a few characters, thank god we’re not the only girl here, learned there was some kind of conspiracy going on, and now we’re playing detective because we’re dumb and foolish, and we’ve recruited our friends to help us. Because we are all dumb and foolish. 

Brid: So what exactly did we learn? 

Lily: Maybe they should have watched the first video in the series. 

Brid: ... Yeah. Anyway, we stole a file from a school computer and some short kid thinks we’re our long-distance boyfriend. 

Lily: Plus we ran into our ex, and also got teased over us accidentally thirsting over our calc professor. 

Brid: By everyone and their mom. And our mom too. Like damn, she’s thirsty.

Lily: Not fun. 

Brid: I think the fact that we’re making a second part makes us qualify as masochists. 

--------

Lily: Oh, hey. Chase. What’s up?

Brid: Rich people things. The economy. Republicans. Nyu hu hu hu hu. 

Lily: Never say that again. Anyway, we’re really diving right into the investigation, aren’t we? 

Brid: Yeah. Wrong route, girl. 

Lily: Nah. 

--------

Lily: She’s out here wondering if he has a swimmer bod.

Brid: I don’t actually know any swimmers, so... no wait, actually, Narin’s older brother does swim a lot, so...

Lily: But you’ve never seen him shirtless.

Brid: Yeah, no.

(five second asexual silence while music plays in the background)

Lily: Are all straight people like this?

Brid: Aw, he just winked. 

Lily: AW????

(some lines of text later, the protagonist just straight up says that the professor has a spider on his head, without making any side comments on how stupid that move was)

Brid: W O W. that was... a move. Not a power move. A move.

Lily: She doesn’t even regret that one. Holy shit.

Brid: If I said something that stupid I think I’d die of embarrassment. “Hey, Mr. Balls. There’s a spider on your head, that’s why I was staring at your piercing.”

Lily: I love how he fell for it, too! 

Brid: Fucking hell. He might actually have a personality that isn’t just “horny”. 

Lily: Oh my god, isn’t it funny that he joked about the spider and his name is Mr. Parker?

Brid: There is no way they’re going to pull a spiderman joke.

(the option to pull a spiderman joke)

Lily: OH MY GOD

Brid: THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN

Lily: AN ICON! A LEGEND!

Brid: LET ME MARRY HER

--------

Brid: So Riley wants to take over her parents’ network security company, while Chase wants to take over the pharm business, and... 

Lily: Guess so. And? 

Brid: Well, my parents do financial consulting, and they want me to take over. And you know how Nick’s parents are, like, huge stockholders in Kronus Technologies? 

Lily: ... Nick... who? 

Brid: Nick Kronus. I don’t think you’ve met him, but he stays at Mr. Perch’s place sometimes. He and Val... don’t exactly get along. 

Lily: Oh. So... rich prodigal son. 

Brid: Yeah. So.... actually, it’s kind of cool that both Riley and Chase want to take over their respective businesses. I mean, I don’t, and like... I’m hoping Mr. Perch will let me take on an internship or something. 

Lily: Dude, you know he’d do anything for you. He likes you more than he likes his own kid. 

Brid: I feel bad, honestly. 

(dialogue) 

Brid: “What are you up to, Chase Colton? What’s your deal?” Oh, man. He’s trying to look for information on Reynolds, isn’t he? 

Lily: Yeah... We did tell him, yeah? 

Brid: Of course. He was with us when we were looking over the computers. 

Lily: Wait, but familiar word-

(Matt walks in) 

Lily: GOD DAMN IT

Brid: I KNOW THIS IS YOUR ROUTE BUT FUCK YOU

Lily: WE ARE BUSY

Brid: YES YOU ARE INTERRUPTING SOMETHING

Lily: Oh, he knows who Chase is, too. 

Brid: Oh no. Also, I love how Chase is taller. That’s so funny. 

(dialogue) 

Brid: Oh yeah, I forgot that this was a community college. Yeah, why is Chase attending a community college? 

Lily: I love how Matt is just chipping into him. 

Brid: Man, Riley doesn’t even give a fuck. 

--------

Lily: Oh. “There are rumors of an undercover cop working the case”. That’s interesting. 

Brid: Wait. Wait. Could that be referring to Kai? 

Lily: ... Huh? 

Brid: Remember he was chatting with that guy that called him “shorty”? 

Lily: Oh, yeah. 

Brid: But first, lemme go grocery shopping! 

(The let me take a selfie song plays in the background with a bunch of grocery store vines displayed on screen for like 30 seconds) 

--------

Lily: Love this elevator music. 

Brid: (laughs out loud) She hit someone with a shopping cart! 

Lily: Fucking disaster bi! Lily: OH MY GOD IT’S THE FUCKIN. THE FUCKIN CALC GUY

Brid: SORRY WE FUCKING RAN YOU OVER WITH A SHOPPING CART DUDE

Lily: JE NE REGRETTE NEIN

Brid: I REGRETTE IT

Lily: “so anyway you just killed my foot”

Brid: “no i didn’t”

Lily: “fuck you i’ll sue”

Brid: “you’re poor”

Lily: “and now you’re roasting me”

Brid: “shut up and i’ll buy you coffee”

Lily: “and now you want to poison me”

Brid: “ha joke’s on you i’m a mess”

Lily: This fucking banter, dude. 

--------

Brid: She’s a PALADIN who rides a GIANT FLYING MANTA???

Lily: I LOVE her. 

Brid: I’d die for her. 

Lily: Damn, he sure knows a lot about network security. HMMMMMM

Brid: Oh would you calm down?

(more witty banter until he calls her cute)

Brid: “HE JUST CALLED ME CUTE!” Fool, I’m in love with her too! 

Lily: You’re out there, and she’s- OH SHIT! SHE JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A DODGEBALL!

Brid: Ouch!

Lily: Okay, but like, seriously? I’ve gotten hit in the face with dozens of balls and yeah. Ouch. 

(romantic scene) 

Brid: She is so cute. 

Lily: Wait. He has a ponytail? 

Brid: So? Sam has one. Anyway, she’s precious. 

Lily: SHE THOUGHT FUCK AGAIN-

-------

Brid: Great. We call our mom and get even more roasted. 

Lily: I. Hate this. But at the same time, I wish my mom were, like, cool. 

Brid: Okay, but like, yeah. I’d take being roasted over the bullshit I have to deal with every day. 

Lily: Anyway, I now know where she got that sass of hers. 

Brid: “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS??”

Lily: “I’m a romantic, honey! Also, like... make sure you get me some of that”

Brid: Oh, she’s asking about that program that deletes the original from the original IP. 

Lily: Right. I love how the mom’s just like- “no. don’t do this again, honey. you promised”

Brid: This fucking MC... she is so valid. 

-------

Lily: Oh hey. It’s Kai. 

Brid: Time to pull out my Val impression. 

Lily: Can’t wait! 

Brid: “How the hell should I know? Did you give all of the computers nicknames?” Pff. I love doing my Val impression for this guy. It’s so on point. 

Lily: What did Val say about your Val impression, anyway? 

Brid: He said that my voice was too high pitched to sound anything like his voice, but Arthur said the inflection was spot-on!

Lily: I definitely see that, yeah. 

Brid: I mean, he’s so Val, though... 

Lily: Don’t start assigning kins, now. 

Brid: I’m not looking to get murdered by one of my co-stars. Oh, hey, Chase is here. 

Lily: And looks like we’re actually going to learn something. 

-------

Brid: Dyphine! 

Lily: A drug they’re working on. Stolen two years ago... 

Brid: And Jennifer Reynolds stole it and deleted every other copy. 

Lily: Damn. 

Brid: And you could net a lot of cash for it. 

Lily: ... Wow. And he needs our help to track her down. 

Brid: Do you trust him? 

Lily: Do I trust anyone? 

Brid: Yeah, good point. I mean, it’s Big Pharma, but at the same time, he’s been earnest with us. 

Lily: Oh, but wait! We have the formula! 

Brid: Yes! Let’s solve this case. 

Lily: I swear to god, if we head back home and it’s deleted. Because that’s totally going to happen. 

-------

Lily: OH NO. We’ve been hacked. 

(text on screen pointing to brid with her eyes wide at the art)

Brid: Well, shit. Cinematic hacking time! 

Lily: And this music is epic! It’s like final boss shit! 

Brid: Go girl! Go counter hack them!

Lily: YEAH BABEY

Brid: “If I’m going down, you’re coming with me, motherfucker! Yeah baby!”

Lily: I can’t believe she’s spamming the connection with pussy pics. 

Brid: ... did you have to phrase it like that

Lily: Hey, they’re saying something. I’ll voice it. “Bitmap? Really?”

Brid: “SORRY NOT SORRY”

Lily: “You have something of mine...” Oh no, it’s Jennifer!

Brid: Oh my god. 

Lily: Wait, no...? “I’m the guy who’s about to break your last shield”...? 

Brid: What? 

Lily: Wow, this is intense. “Nice job with the flooding btw.” Damn. “Would have worked if I weren’t on Egon.” Where was that mentioned before?

Brid: Huh. 

Lily: “Cute pic, though. Later, kitten.”

Brid: ... Is it... the teacher? 

Lily: Let’s see... yarn... crap, I can’t see past the dialogue box. 

Brid: Mah girl’s fired up! What’s next, baby! 

Lily: ... 

Brid: ... 

Lily: THERE’S AN UNRELEASED PART 2??

----------

(post video)

Brid: So what are your theories regarding Calc Daddy?

Lily: ... did you have to call him that

Brid: *snort*

Lily: Okay, like in all seriousness... hold on, give me like, fifteen minutes to collect my thoughts, because I have a lot of theories and they need some time in the Brain Oven. 

(one jump cut later, Lily is holding up a sheet of paper, which Brid is trying to look at, but Lily isn’t letting her)

Lily: Okay, so my conclusion from what I saw so far is that there is a 90% chance that he is, at the very least, connected to Juh-Reynolds and he’s either Jennifer herself, or working with her. My reasons are thus. First, you saw in the prologue that he called Ry-Ry “his little thief” indicating that she stole something from him. And he traced it using an IP address. So unless ya boi Cipher somehow VPN’d and made us a puppet, that file was somehow “his”. But wouldn’t it belong to Jreynolds, since Dyphine was HER research?

Brid: A-jreynold-in.

Lily: Fuck you. Second, and this one’s more of a symbolism thing, you might recall that password for the file was “icarus”. You know who he is, right?

Brid: Yeah, the guy who sculpted wax wings, flew into the sky, and then they melted and he fell.

Lily: You know how his sprite has a necklace shaped like a wing when he’s not wearing clothes?

Brid: When he’s not wearing clothes?

Lily: When he’s not wearing his suit and tie. Oh my god, we’re not at third base yet!

Brid: *laughs* Okay, but like, actually... that is interesting, I never made that connection.

Lily: Third, you saw how hard he grilled Chase over the whole “why the fuck are you attending a community college” thing. We didn’t notice because he was literally doing exactly what we wanted to do, and giving us the answers without us even needing to ask.

Brid: Yeah, and Riley was like, “yeah, keep saying shit”. I don’t know if he thought we shared the same goal or something... or if it was just a coincidence. Or, no! He probably wanted to know what we needed to know for J. K. Reynolds.

Lily: And number 4 does fit in with all of these, plus it also gives a clue to his motive. He said some things that would sound normal, except, they might not... I forget the exact context, but something about buying something expensive came up, and Riley said something like “aren’t you a community college professor, why are you doing something expensive, you don’t get paid for shit” and I think it was about moving into the neighborhood, though I could be wrong. And like, even though Riley is attending a community college, her parents are like network security people, she’s rich. And he’s... not?

Brid: Okay?

Lily: Recall that Chase said that you could make a shit ton of money from selling that formula. If he’s not J-Money herself, I think he’s working with her for a cut of the profits. More than enough to buy a house.

Brid: Right, and whatever answer he was about to give, we never got to hear it because mah girl got hit in the face with a soccer ball. 

Lily: Also, this one might be weird, but remember when we were hacked and we were sent a kitten picture?

Brid: Yeah?

Lily: Wasn’t the kitten sitting on a really pink blanket?

Brid: Yeah, it was, I think. Why are you asking?

Lily: It was shown off, so I think it’s relatively significant. This might be a long shot, and it does have a few conditions, but recall that he said at some point that he was staying with a friend. And I think he does chat with Riley at some point about high level computer stuff. Assuming he was the hacker or knew the hacker, I think from that, and the fact that the blanket was pink, that we can infer that his friend is a woman. And who’s the only adult woman in this series? ... besides our dirty minded mom?

Brid: It’s Jennolds!

Lily: That was... actually really clever. And we know that she can’t exactly show her face with Chase around. So she might be sending someone to do her dirty work for her. *eyes light up* ... wait, who’s the professor he replaced? Because he said that he’d be subbing for someone, some female professor, and then he cancelled all of our tests-

Brid: ...

Lily: ...

(they both dive for the keyboard)

(Text pops up on black: It was “Professor Mendez”, not “Reynolds”. Well, shit.)

(More text: The wing necklace part was correct. The grilling Chase part was also correct. However, though the pieces about him not getting paid much as a community college professor was mentioned, there was nothing about how much it cost to move into the neighborhood. We might have been thinking of the cosplayer character. But we forgot the fact that he happened to know network security programs pretty well when we were talking about the manta ray mount.)

(More text: Also, we were wrong about the pink blanket. It was more of a grey-ish-purple, but there was also a ball of yarn and a folded blue striped something on the blanket. Wonder what it could be?... seriously Lily thought it was his tie, but the text box is a bitch)

(More text: Anyway our conclusions are the same. Unless these were a bunch of red herrings.)

[badcharacterization]

A Court of Mist and Fury

This book has appeared on so many “Best of 2016″ lists, and after reading it I wonder how many 2016 releases these people actually read... Strap yourselves in, kiddos, this is like 8 pages of rage in the original Word document. Unpopular opinions under the cut.

Note: I originally took these down as notes on my phone, I’ve edited for clarity and punctuation and stuff, but not everything is properly capitalized because this book has taken enough of my precious time already. I did something similar with ACOTAR, and will probably post that one later (it is on goodreads though). I should have cited page numbers but that would have taken forever so you’re just going to have to guess from context clues.

-time skip time skip

-the mating bond sounds super yucky

-is this foreshadowing, is Ianthe going to steal Feyre’s shitty man?

-look at them sweet gender roles

-“inherent female magic.” no thank you bro

-Feyre is straight up depressed…and it’s actually depicted well…whoa

-I’m already tired of male this and female that though. We gotta make sure that everyone knows that the Fae are “primal” and “animalistic”

-and everyone is super duper straight apparently?

-so basically Amarantha was faerie Hitler? Just in case you didn’t already think she was super evil. There’s still no explanation of why she was so twisted, and I don’t expect the author will ever give one.

-I smell some vaguely Middle Eastern cultural appropriation

-also Feyre hasn’t learned to read after months in the spring court?

-Amarantha banned holidays, like the White Witch. How original.

-Rhysand suddenly has Feyre’s best interests at heart. He must have an identical, nicer twin.

-I’m still not over him drugging her and forcing her into skimpy outfits. That will never be okay to me, no matter how nice to her he is

-let’s have some more foreshadowing about Ianthe. It’s a little not subtle and barely qualifies as foreshadowing

-I know Feyre is depressed but she is passive in an out-of-character way. She used to disobey Tamlin pretty much reflexively.

-what did Feyre think Tamlin did for income? Of course it’s egregious taxes on all his subjects

-it’s almost like the author realized that ACOTAR had problems at some point and is trying to correct them all. She apparently doesn’t really plan or outline any of her books

-it feels like Tamlin has even less self control in this book than the last one, though it was always pretty bad. The author/narrator acts like this is a significant change and a sign of how what happened has traumatized him but it…isn’t? He was always physically intimidating her and manipulating her.

-I appreciate the author acknowledging that Tamlin is an abusive overprotective jerk, but Rhysand has issues too and he hasn’t really apologized or made amends at this point

-I didn’t expect Tamlin to want a domestic wifey but I guess this is a fae thing or an “omg look how evil he is now” thing

-have some awkward writing

-it is kind of a relief when she leaves the Spring Court, mostly because nothing interesting seems to happen there and it’s all a lot of foreshadowing about Ianthe, and Feyre being surrounded by courtiers with no bearing on what happens

-the introduction of Azriel, Cassian, and Amren is kind of…fanfiction-y. There’s something about the dialogue and how you can tell them all apart in an instant that feels like it was once part of a fanfiction.

-if Velaris is so famous for art and has so many artists and its location is supposedly secret…then who’s buying the shit?

-also where are the farms

-if a girl notices a guy’s scent, it’s done.

-have some more pretty fae dudes, as if there weren’t enough already

-I don’t think the Illyrians were supposed to be POC but their portrayal as warlike, women-abusing brutes is still kinda not nuanced. The name also refers to a historical region and people in the real world so…that’s not great

-Also the mating bond seems to be purely sexual, judging by the case of Rhysand’s parents. It’s actually kind of horrifying, the idea of becoming magically bound to someone you’ve just met and may come to hate in time. Why is it so desirable? Does it usually work out fine? What happens when one partner is already married or spoken for?

-Also it’s creepy as per the usual

-Also obvious foreshadowing lol

-Also a great excuse not to properly develop a relationship

-Time to bash Feyre’s disabled father again

-Ellipses everywhere

-“You needed not to be alone.” How about you quit telling her what she needs mmmkay?

-This sentence made me gag a bit, so I’m sharing it: “the voice was at once the night and the dawn and the stars and the earth, and every inch of my body calmed at the primal dominance in it.”

-And she’s using her pet word, primal, again

-There are flushing toilets in what seemed to be a medieval shit-land…okay

-At least this relationship is being built up better, but I still can’t get over the forced drugged striptease shit

-Amren’s back story is cool

-“Deadly bit of flirtation” Feyre needs to stop being so melodramatic, he was just flirting

-The Weaver is exactly the kind of weird, creepy faerie I’ve wanted to see in this series.

-Barbecue is an odd choice of words

-Rhysand feels more like her tough life coach than a potential love interest right now.

-Why is Feyre acting like Ianthe approaching Rhysand for sex was some unforgivable assault, when he had the power to make it stop immediately? It’s not even comparable to Amarantha.

-And how could Ianthe theoretically force herself on Lucien when males seem to hold more power than females in the Spring Court? Are priestesses an exception? Are there rules about turning them down? Does she enjoy some kind of special status?

-Foreshadowing about Ianthe and Tamlin again

-It’s almost like…Ianthe was behaving like literally every male character in this goddamn series. “The ownership and arrogance in that gesture” hmmmmmm…that sounds familiar

-Double standard time: Sexually aggressive men are just alpha males, sexually aggressive women are eeeeeevil

-Feyre complains that being rich and a woman in the human world is restricting but it seemed like she had a lot of freedoms when she went back and her father had his fortune back. Also, when she was poor. Someone had to know she was sleeping with that Isaac guy. Nesta certainly did.

-Almost forgot about the female mercenary, too

-Also apparently there are queens who are in charge in the human lands, though it was only mentioned in this book?

-The whole  humans not having holidays thing is still dumb. They would have created new ones after disavowing fae ones. Whenever people abandon an ideology en masse, something usually crops up to fill the psychological void.

-time to reminisce about how shitty Feyre’s human life was

-It’s not like Feyre’s sisters were also kids when they lost their mother and their fortunes fell or anything

-Cassian and Nesta’s hate thing is a little exaggerated; the ship is almost too obvious. “Look, they’re acting like they hate each other” is a sloppy shortcut to “they have sexual tension and they’re going to end up in a relationship.” Because the author doesn’t want to spend too much time fleshing out any of the other relationships in this damn book

-If Amren ends up being a villain, too, I’m gonna lose my shit.

-Feyre’s human life sucked guys, remember? REMEMBER??? ISN’T SHE SO MUCH BETTER OFF IN DOUCHEY MISOGYNIST FAERIELAND???

-There’s an unnamed brown faerie…such diversity. Much wow

-The food is so good and spicy and shit it’s somehow curing her depression a bit…okay

-Feyre pays a lot of attention to Azriel. Begins to feel weird after the first couple of times

-“Yeah, Rhys, thanks for making me dance like a stripper, but the magical disembodied music was great”

-I almost like Cassian now. Almost

-Unless Ianthe is secretly super powerful I think Lucien doesn’t have to worry about her “preying” on him. Chill.

-So Rhysand and Feyre are basically texting…okay

-Rhysand is petty as shit about Tarquin: “I know we’re not in an actual relationship or anything…but I’m mad because you smiled at him.” All the men in this series need to chill

-Varian and Amren makes no sense. It just crops up out of the blue…and is…a thing

-The language around attraction is interesting and gendered. Men are “predatory” when they’re interested in a woman. He gets “lethal focus” on her. Which leaves me wondering…does he want to fuck her or eat her? I honestly can’t tell.

-What does “tattooed panes of his chest” even mean? His chest is a window?

-Have a very vague description of Rhysand’s room

-SJM always writes romances where the characters instantly click or feel attraction, and the only thing keeping them apart is stubbornness

-This part feels like a draft, it’s a summary of Feyre’s training and interactions with Mor, and I actually want to see what that’s like. Mor was supposed to be a less manipulative replacement for Ianthe, but we hardly get to see her interactions with Feyre

-The way Feyre is dressed, she’s basically being presented as Rhys’s partner and she doesn’t seem to mind? Unless Mor gets a crown, too, and the author just neglected to mention it

-So two of the queens are married to each other? Yay! Background token LGBT characters

-How do the mortal lands even work, politically? Two of the queens can be married to one another and not have to worry about producing heirs? Why so many queens? Do they rule together or each govern different kingdoms?

-Most of the queens get a sentence or two of description, but then SJM goes on and on about the beautiful one and treats her as the most important woman in the group

-Also all beautiful women hate each other at first sight y’all

-I thought she only picked Mor’s name because she thought it sounded cool but she’s actually (clumsily) referencing Irish mythology

-So humans and fae can interbreed, like in the Throne of Glass series

-“The Black Land” seems like the author gave up on names. It also resembles the name for Ancient Egypt, and the description of its history confirms that

-Also what is with all the evil faerie queens running around? How can someone be much worse than Ms. Tortures-Everyone, Amarantha?

-If the queens know of the Veritas but have never actually laid eyes on it, how would they know it shows the truth?

-Okay, let’s have entire pages all about the sex lives of Illyrians. Thanks, Sarah, I really needed to know that

-Of course sex stuff is more thought out than anything with the politics, magic system…or like anything else

-Okay, obviously Rhysand is someone she likes now, why is flirting with him still “lethal” and “dangerous”? Is she afraid of Tamlin’s reaction?

-…how would wings make for interesting sex positions? Maybe my imagination is just lacking but…why

-the description of the court of nightmares is super vague

-It feels like YA female protagonists always have to have a female friend or servant who’s more into clothes and makeup to dress them. It’s almost like a main character can’t actually be invested in girly things

-I think this scene is meant to show how much things have changed since Rhysand forced Feyre to dance like a stripper and drink drugged wine Under the Mountain, because now he asked her permission before including her in his schemes…but it rings hollow for me. This romance doesn’t work unless you ignore everything from book 1

-“That primal, male rage” you just gotta gender everything

-also really convenient that the author gets to attribute everything awful Rhysand has ever done to his “mask” or persona as a high lord

-Yeah let’s keep woobifying him and brining up how awful Amarantha was. It makes him look better…if you don’t think about it too hard

-The Starfall scene is kinda vague and doesn’t do much narratively, just like the solstice scene in book 1.

-LOOK LADIES RHYSAD IS A FEMINIST!!! DOESN’T THAT CANCEL OUT EVERYTHING BAD HE’S EVER DONE?!??!?!?

-So the Illyrian blood rite is basically faerie Hunger Games.

-So Rhysand is not only the most powerful high lord alive, but he’s also the most powerful of all time?

-Feyre’s description of him fingering her is ridiculous. “Every point in my body, my mind, my soul, narrowed to the feeling of his fingers…”

-Why does it seem like SJM has a thing for whipping? Also why are they whipping him? Torture for information? Just to show that they’re a bunch of irredeemably evil dicks?

-This isn’t a YA novel. It just isn’t.

-I sense some drama over the whole “you knew we were mates all along” thing

-Yep

-How is this the most important thing in a fae’s life though?

-Feyre has every right to be mad at him, and confused and shit. Jeesh.

-So the mating bond involves the female offering food to the male…gender roles galore

-If he felt the mating bond when she was human, does that mean that high fae can bond with humans, or that she was meant to change?

-So the faeries who tried to assault Feyre on Calanmai are called “Picts”…that’s an actual historical people, just like Illyrians. Kinda icky, even if no one really identifies with those names anymore

-Her descriptions of orgasms are always ridiculous

-“A slow, satisfied male smile” WE GET IT SARAH HE’S MALE JESUS CHRIST

-They sexed so hard they caused an avalanche? The fuck?

-What’s with all the roaring

-Another “male” smile. This is my least favorite phrase

-Post mating bond behavior is not cute. He wants to fight any “male” who looks at or comments on Feyre, including Cassian, who’s just a little shit

-“Feral” returns

-The mating bond makes them act like animals in heat and FEYRE CAN’T SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT ANOTHER MALE WITHOUT RHYS REACTING? HOW IS THIS DESIRABLE?

-And, sure, he’s fighting it, but this is still being presented as a model relationship?

-“Purr” has returned

-oh no the human queens are such awful bitches for not trusting the people who historically screwed humans over a bunch.

-The description of what happens and what Mor looks like when she holds the Veritas is kind of vague

-It’s understandable and logical for the queens to suspect manipulation, the only really bad thing about them is that they’re willing to abandon the humans on Prythian

-Lemme guess, Nesta and Cassian are mates, too? Isn’t it supposed to be super rare?

-So the beautiful young queen is nice after all. Beauty=goodness, kiddos

-How does Feyre know that the other queens betrayed them? The info could have been tortured out of them and they could be dumping the other bodies all over the city for all she knows? It seems like she’s leaping to conclusions [note: she ends up being right, of course]

-How can Feyre see Amren? Are they that close to each other? Cassian and Azriel are airborne but it sounds like city streets are between Feyre and Amren and buildings should be obstructing the view

-Sometimes SJM tries too hard to be a serious writer

-The fight is pretty cool, it just feels a little too effortless and efficient. It’s also frustrating that Feyre has had this vast power and hasn’t really used it much in combat until now

-her skill is made a little more believable by the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of precision, just raw power.

-Rhys is respecting her autonomy! Let’s just forget about book 1 completely

-So…the ring retrieval was a test to determine if she was strong enough to be his mate, too…not a douche move at all

-So convenient that all of the Hybern soldiers/underlings are sadistic creeps, it means the mains don’t have to regret killing them

-Jurian is described as tan, like many of the other characters in the book. But it just makes me think they’re meant to be white people with tans.

-The King of Hybern has no name and is also described as “blandly handsome” like a man in his 40s…wait I thought all fae are super beautiful and look young?

-So…literally all the faeries in Hybern’s court are dead-eyed and evil and there’s no art or furniture. That sounds fake…but okay.

-Just in case you didn’t understand that Tamlin isn’t just a bad person, now he’s super evil and possessive…oh wait he always was

-He actually has a point about Rhysand, how can you ever fully trust someone who could possibly mess with your mind?

-Also kind of messed up how two of the evil humans queens are like the only queer characters in the goddamn books so far

-why would the queens buy the idea that the king of Hybern is on their side? He wants to bring down the wall, unless he somehow hid that part from them

-it’s baaaaad for women to want power and eternal life. They can only have it if men give it to them

-Speaking of which, IANTHE IS EVIL GUYS! WHO SAW THIS COMING???

-So Hybern and Ianthe’s plan is to overthrow the high lords and let the priestesses rule. I know they’re supposed to be corrupt or whatever, even though there’s not any concrete evidence of this, but how is overthrowing the high lords a bad thing?

-While the twist with Nesta and Elain has interesting potential, Nesta and Cassian being mates is boring

-And super obvious

-Weird that Feyre suddenly thinks of her father, out of the blue, after weeks of not giving a fuck about him, when Elain is changed. Also prioritizing men’s feelings…again

-King of Hybern made a creepy comment about Mor and then forgot her, very cartoonish

-THIS SCENE IS DRAMATIC ENOUGH!!! Why add the Elain/Lucien mates reveal? Jeesh

-Gotta demonize that young ambitious queen for looking at fae men

-Sudden convenient powers

-And now a sudden chapter from Rhysand’s POV

-So Amren says mating bonds can’t be broken, but I’d be more interested in the story if it was in fact breakable and if Feyre and Rhysand would have to decide to live and love without it. This book treats it like the end-all-be-all though

-Awww Amren cares about Feyre after all

-Rhysand’s narrative voice sounds like Feyre’s, where I would expect him to sound very different

-GUYS RHYSAND MADE FEYRE HIS HIGH LADY DOESN’T THAT MAKE HIM THE BEST FEMSINIST EVER?!?!? WOMEN CAN STILL ONLY DERIVE POWER FROM MEN IN THIS UNIVERSE…BUT RHYSAND IS A SEXY FEMININST

-this is treated like a plot twist and I wish the scene had actually been shown…although that would only make this godforsaken book even longer.

-Aaaaand it’s totally confirmed after like two pages that the mating bond isn’t broken…just kill the drama and tension…just murder it

-Lucien is obviously suspicious of Feyre

Final thoughts

-Tamlin allying with Hybern comes off as stupid, not evil. Granted, he did not seem all that intelligent in ACOTAR, but you would expect someone who’s lived for centuries to be a bit savvier. He had to have heard of what Hybern was all about

-Women are constantly defined by their relationships with men. Like apparently the mating bond existed when Feyre was still human and Rhysand sent her visions of the night sky to comfort her and she painted it on her dresser drawer. It’s a minor thing but it just keeps coming up

-Feyre just kinda lacks agency in general. It’s supposed to be this cool, “she’s learning how to fight and defend herself” plot in the middle of the book, but Rhysand determines her goals, and his wants and needs drive the plot more than hers. It gets worse after the mating bond sets in.

-Also Ianthe is the only female character who does not have a devoted relationship with one man and she is demonized for keeping herself independent and sleeping around. Mor also isn’t in an established relationship, but it’s obvious that the author is hinting at her and Azriel being a potential couple.

-I would like to see Cassian cope with a disability, one that makes him worthless in the eyes of his culture…but I know that shit is getting cured ASAP, of course after milking it for a bit of melodrama and man feels. Like, there is no way he’ll actually have to go without his wings

-Ianthe’s betrayal of Feyre’s sisters lacks a real punch. Even when Feyre implicitly trusted her, she obviously didn’t like Ianthe much and her sinister intentions were heavily foreshadowed. If that relationship had actually been established as a strong friendship, the betrayal would seem like much more of a betrayal. Instead, it’s kind of like “Oh no, I knew there was a reason I didn’t like her all along.”

-This book seems to call into question the idea that the high fae are superior to and different from lesser faeries, especially if Illyrians can interbreed with high fae. This still doesn’t indicate where things like the Suriel and the Weaver fit in the hierarchy. It’s implied that both are more powerful than individual high fae, though it seems that the Suriel is pretty easily deceived and captured. The world building doesn’t make any sense if you question it too much

-The whole “lesser faeries deserve better” message that crops up once or twice, in between all the feels and sex, also rings hollow because pretty much all lesser fae so far have been demonized or portrayed in a negative light. The Picts, the Naga, the Attor and his dudes, etc.

-If Rhys is so awesome, why let the Court of Nightmares keep existing in its current state? Especially if he supposedly cares about Mor so much?

-In that scene where Feyre is watching her sisters get dunked into the cauldron, it all feels very detached. She’s watching Cassian and Lucien’s reactions, when I feel like she should be very narrowly focused on her sisters and what’s happening to them. The author doesn’t fully commit to the first person POV, because she wants to make it very, very super obvious to the audience that Cassian is Nesta’s mate and Lucien is Elain’s, but it makes the scene lack something emotionally. First person gives you the ability to make the narration emotional and immediate, but that comes at certain costs. One character can’t see or notice everything you want them to.

-Also she’s just always got to prioritize male feels over female suffering. OH LOOK SOMETHING HORRIBLE IS HAPPENING TO A WOMAN AND OH NO A MAN IS REALLY REALLY SAD AND ANGSTY ABOUT IT LET’S FOCUS ON HIM INSTEAD

-The author just seems to care more about men than women, in all honesty, and this is part of the reason I can’t just escape into this world or consider this book even a guilty pleasure. The Throne of Glass books were starting to get this way, too, especially because she keeps killing off the girls of color in that series.

-And basically any woman who’s greedy or doesn’t derive her power from a man is demonized. Especially if they’re sexually active or aggressive in their pursuit of the men they want. Rhysand’s behavior in ACOTAR was even worse than Ianthe’s, it’s such a double standard and it’s laughable that anyone would call these books feminist. There is nothing in Ianthe’s actions to imply that she is violating any of the men she’s pursued. She’s pushy, shady, and needs to learn when to back off, sure, but it’s not like she’s assaulting anyone. Especially when the men she’s gone after are obviously way more powerful than her (Lucien, too, is obviously the heir of the Autumn Court, even if he enjoys lower status in the Spring Court).

-I’m still not over the idea that getting rid of the High Lords would not be bad. Like, Rhysand and Feyre both agreed that the current social system is stultified and deeply unfair to “females” and “lesser faeries”? How is the idea itself so bad and repulsive to them? They react with disgust and shock when Hybern brings it up

-I feel like pretty much every character is more interesting than Rhysand, with the possible exception of Tamlin. This may be mostly because I feel that they have potential and that the author hasn’t written enough about any of them and hasn’t had the chance to ruin them or waste their potential (like Manon in Throne of Glass). She just tries way too hard to make Rhysand seem sympathetic and loveable after all of the questionable things he did in book 1. And it shows.

-Come to think of it, it’s super strange that the Night Court lands are so neatly divided into “sadistic shitty assholes” in the Court of Nightmares and “peaceful artsy people” in Velaris. Like, what nation has ever been like that? People aren’t either irredeemable dicks or good people, every place has a mix of people.

-Amren feels like the kind of character I would love with a different author, but is barely developed. Same with the rest of the inner circle: Azriel is too much of a cipher to really make me care, Cassian is kinda all over the place, and Mor is built up as this amazing female role model who’s been through so much and has great inner strength…but then the author barely pays attention to her. Basically, the author cares about her self insert and her perfect love interest, and everyone else is just set dressing.

-The King of Hybern is so boring, and is just like the King of Adarlan in Throne of Glass. The comparison is even more obvious because neither of them ever receives an actual name.

-There were some moments where ACOTAR was well written/compelling, however fleeting. There were also spots that showed some potential. There are more of those in this book, but as more of the world is revealed, it becomes clear that it’s all built on heteronormativity and a rigid view of gender and gender roles. The magic system is poorly developed, the politics and geography is poorly established, and the plot limps. Instead of tightening these things up, the author chooses to focus on romance and sex, pausing frequently to allow the main characters to have sexual tension, going on for pages about the sex lives of her winged fetish-boys, and demonizing anyone who stands in the protagonists’ way. This story isn’t really about the looming war, it’s about two people falling in love and having a bunch of sex. All of the other stuff is just stuff she needs to put down on the page so she can get back to describing male abs and sex scenes. That’s not to say that this is a bad thing, but I expect more plot, world building, and character development out of something that’s labeled as “fantasy” and about 600 pages long. And the romance just doesn’t work for me. Too much brooding and woobifying, the bond is just boring and too convenient.

-There were a few times I almost quit this book, but about midway through I started hearing about what a shitfest ACOWAR is and that motivated me to finish, because I love a good shitfest, if I’m in the right mood.