#NOTHING. JUST MAKINF THEM FEEL LIKE SHIT

[stupid-o-clock]

i still feel shitty around my friends. i ranted about this to my best friend earlier but i want to put this here so i'll basically copy paste my feelings.

i'm gonna call my friends P & V bc typing "friend"/"other friend" etc gets confusing after a while.

i was playing huniepop bc it's a fun game when u have nothing to do, but my P saw it in my discord status and immediately dmed the gc "BRO [me] IS PLAYING HUNIEPOP" and we started arguing about it bc she thinks these type of games are weird, idc lol. if u don't like them, don't play them, why get into my business? we have the most opposite opinions on so much shit like why even bother trying to start this

she complained about genshin nsfw popping up on her tl a while ago and told me to stop liking it, no? dont interact, click "not interested", block, even unfollow me idc not like we interact much anyway. gosh

she was so much better to have as a friend before we got close, i started having this feeling recently like once i get to know someone well it becomes weird. like damn, you know my trauma and ik yours? weirdo.. bye-bye! my gf, two best friends + two also pretty close friends are the only exceptions. but that's maybe because i got to know them before i started feeling like this?

tbh with these two it always feels like they've got something against me for no reason, that "no reason" also being im a dude. with all the shit they say n do it's a really toxic women>men type thing LOL and i can never say anything bc they'd team up on me!!

i don't think i'm ever included in those messages but thats bc im trans. if i was a cis dude theyd bully me into the ground, but i dont wanna be treated diff bc im a TRANS guy, im just a guy. the trans doesnt matter. treat me the same youd treat a cis one. and if you cant then we shouldnt be friends!

now this is about V and her boyfriend, theyve got a thing like he unfriends/blocks anyone she doesnt like going on. n one night he wanted her to unf all the dudes shes friends with, including me. personally idgaf but P got really pissed about it.

P said smth like "what did we say about not controlling women in relationships?" and like.. what? V is essentially controlling her boyfriend, so why can't he do the same? P just brushed it off tho bc V is an angel! and she could never do anything bad! her bf don't know that lol?

just like how i'm deffo not a love interest for her, everyone she makes him unfriend probably also isn't! maybe she got bad vibes or whatever that's ok! but god

also P used the r-slur when going off at V's boyfriend and that just rubbed me the wrong way. she's definitely "allowed" to use/reclaim it but it feels like an awful word, AND she was using it to insult someone which makes it even worse.

i feel like i can never disagree with P either bc she'll pull a "shut up ur a man" card. like- she's done that. she's done it as a joke but she'd deffo do it in a serious manner too-

also, i got into a fight- like- not a fight but i genuinely said smth really LOL i feel bad about it but P was shit talking me to xiya and then pulled up in my dms like Hey [me] i care aout you! You fucked up but it's ok u ust have to learn how to communicate

Like what is this? u can't tell me u care about me after spewing this shit into my girlfriends dms.

"i dont go out of my way to hurt people. he needs help lol" like bitch ik i need help. i did say the "joke" with intent to hurt V but it was in the MOMENT. yk how fucking frustrating it is explaining anger issues to someone who doesn't get it whatsofuckingever?

P has a load of her own issues that i dont ge tbut i at least TRY to understand her. also, first screenshot i wanetd to explain myself so V could see where im coming from?? LOL explaining ursef =/= makinf urself the victim.

i always overexplain shit, like my mistakes and why i think i made them. im also bad at explaining so i go on and on to try and make it make sense. i was literally blaming myself for hurting V and syaing sorry over and over again, how the hell was i making myself a victim?

[t4tklonoa]

(rant abt transphobia in the tags, be careful my guys...)

[torxnjilfanworld-blog]

Education system

This will be a long letter about my complain related to the actual shitty education system that runs in the major part of America, standing out some factors that i truly belive, are the reason of why we don’t see beneficial results foe the education in the continent.

First the school molds a fucking compatition enviroment since we’re children. Who never wanted to collect the biggest number of stars in kinder garden, receive compliments of proffesors? I bet the most of us were like this at that time but, what happened when a child ahived these thimgs? There were other kids who were burning of envy, trying to gain the confidence and love of their dear teacher, and also reaching to extremes of ruin the work of other or build conflictive situations, typical troublemakers. Beacuse of this we give the opportumity to that thought to grow even more in our mind, caused because of the bad perception that the school gave us of “compete with others” this just has cused envies, troubles and worst cases suicides and always reach the inexistent happiness trough that and a cost of others.

Factor 2, let’s talk about the shitty subjects :3, those knowledgements that we are obblied to see and “learn” everyday, the real problem here it’s that the most part of the people doesn’t like the most part of them, and it’s mot like all those subjects have something to do with what they want to work as one day, it’s like carrying a big amount of weight and you aren’t enjoying nothing at all. But yeah, you neeed to obtain good grades to be someone in work life in the onther hand, you won’t be no one… BULLSHIT THE GRADES ARE JUST BULLSHIT JUST SHITTY NUMBER THAT REDUCES YOUR VALUE TO STATS, sadly if they keep thursting that kind of thought, it’ll brcome something with we are going to live, but noo if you obtain a pwrfect average of 10 YOU’RE A FUCKING EINSTEIN BRAVO! Just bullshit.

Factor three: the teachers. We have two groups here i guess because we have those teachers that don’t give a shit when it comes of apply correctly the work that they suppose to do and don’t even care about the learning or improve the performance of the students, they just want their fucking money. Then there is those “Oh why don’t you are like x”-teachers, the ones who in each opportunity are saying how lovelies are a certain group of students or the most responsibles students into the class, makinf feel bad the other ones, and well these students are being hated we they don’t have the blame of anything. Then there is those one who always throw their anger to the students without reason just beacause she/he had a bad day, therefor the people will feel afraid or feeling unprotected into the school. So my question is, why do they even chose that work?

Facto 4 and last: the testing. You know right? Admission tests standardized tests etc ahh so unfair, this people likes to generalize the standars of evaluation, not even thibking of the different abbilities of the students, because we don’t have the same, there can be as students that are faster to understand the questions of the knowledgements that these tests evaluate, such as people that likes to be more analytic to solve problems and answer or there will those who will need special care, but you know, stupid tests. Not to mention the unfair period of time.of some of them, this reason it’s why there’s people who frustrate because they didn’t get into the school they wanted, i just consider that so sad and unfair because those students i bet they are capable of anyrhing, and just for a factor of time it’s just so unfair.

We must change WE MUST LOOK FOR ALTERNATIVES AND FEABLE OPTIONS BC IT’s FULLY CLEAR THAT THERE’S SOMETHING GOING WRONG, WE NEED TO STOP STAYING IN THE SAME AND CHANGE THE FORMULA, if we really want a growth of those stats in education level.