#NOBODU GETS YOU LIKE I DO BILLU BOY

[anniiecrsta]

♬ billy dunne hcs 𖾞 ⁺ 𓈒 ❝ tell me something good, tell me that you love me . ❞

:: billy likes his coffee with cream in it. like a lot of it, to the point where the top is completely white: he keeps a whole packet of those disgusting pre-made coffee creams in his cabinet like its a secret stash of gold. in theory it’s a cappuccino, but if anybody actually calls it that he will actually start freaking out and taking it as a very personal offense. :: he HATES having to use the tv controls, like the buttons straight on the machine instead of just using the remote and he’d just rather not watch the tv if he has to get up every five seconds just to change the channel— on that note, he’s a channel hopper. he can never finish a program in full unless it’s a documentary. :: even if he's not really a movie person, like i said literally only watching documentaries, his favorite movie is a star is born. he always end up crying but only cries in the scenes where he doesn't have to: they could be singing the sweetest song and he's already be sobbing just thinking about the ending. if he's in public, he doesn't even stare at the movie-- it embarasses him. :: billy doesn't wear deodorant. ever, and he never has: the last time he even touched a bar of deodorant was when he was 12 at his gym class in middle school, but as soon as that whole experience was over he never touched it again. he always smells like sweat, garage, cigarettes and pine leaves from his car perfume. of course he uses car perfume in his bus-- if it isn't as clean as can be, it makes him terribly stressed. or at least he'd like it to be clean: he never remebers too and leaves everything on the floor, so he just ends up wound up all day. :: his favorite brand of beer was the buckle dark ale (strong dark ale) when he wasn't sober. he always loved it because in just about 2 glasses of it he was always out like a light and thats a really useful quality if you're someone who's trying to drink the life out of his own body-- not that he actively wanted to die, but at the same time the thought of maybe dying alone on a wooden counter of some bar in the sunset strip, with nothing but a guitar to his name, didn't sound all that bad. ❝ in my mind, when she's not right beside me i go crazy . ❞ :: his favorite season was always autumn: he could still go out and about and do his usual runs, maybe even stopping by the beach with how hot LA is all year round, but at the same time it got dark quick and days lasted less and less everyday. it gave him a bit less time to have to spend with the pain that he felt all day long in his guts. at the same time, billy didn't like days being shorter because it meant even less time to spend with his baby, julia, which seemed to grow quicker everytime he saw her. it scared him. :: loneliness scares him. the thought of being out of control in his own life and being left behind, in not leaving any impact on this world, is what most people think scares him the most, based on how he acts. and he likes it exactly that way: the thought of anybody knowing that his biggest fear is becoming just like the man who ripped his own self worth from him-- his father-- terrifies him, consider he still lives waiting every day for his approval. he lives with the wish to prove that if he had stuck around he could've had a son to be proud of, even if that means lying through his teeth to show everyone that he is exactly who he's supposed to be. and who he's supposed to be, maybe, isn't always the better person. :: when he's alone in his bed, at night, sometimes he likes to close his eyes and think about what his life would be like if he took a completely different choice, even if the choice happened so many years ago that he doesn't even remeber the context in which he took it-- the butterfly effect brings him a sense of comfort, but at the same time he feels that constant, overwhelming dread of knowing everything he does will affect his life when he least expects it.