#NICK BLAINE USED A BABY VOICE

[glasskey]

Today I'm going to do something I don't usually do: Re post. I originally penned this in October of last year and it's as true now as it ever was.

The Boston Globe Episodes

Today I’m going to talk about The Boston Globe episode and how it paved the way for Nick, June and Holly’s journey. The Boston Globe episode is a powerful statement about the break down of truth in the face of dictatorships, and the threat of it in current political climates. In regards to the future of these characters, the episodes featuring the Boston Globe are extremely pivotal.

It’s telling that Nick and June spend the first 3 months of their babies life together at the now haunted and abandoned Boston Globe. Its the place where knowledge and truth once flowed and it’s where we truly begin to see how Holly is used as a vehicle to tell a larger tale. Here the printing presses are all painted in handmaids red, nooses hand from the rafters and bullet holes punctuate the walls like the final word in the resistance. It’s no coincidence that Holly undergoes her most formative months in this broken down home of free knowledge and information, as she will be fundamental to the restoration of democracy to her country.

It’s also the place where Nick and June begin to truly fall in love with one another. Nick and June have sex, at last unrestrained by the boundaries of the Waterford household, and there’s a lustful abandonment to it bred by years of captivity. We’re finally given a glimpse into their somewhat free life away from Gilead. Blaine’s always been somewhat of an enigma, stoic, dutiful and domesticated. But here in the semi free world we see the layers are almost instantly stripped away, he becomes immediately emotional and vulnerable….years of service have suffocated him.

These are their child’s most developmental months and it is the most formative moments of their relationship, where their feelings grow into a lasting bond. By the time she returns to the Waterfords, their child is well on its way to being fully formed, just as is her relationship with Nick. By the time their child is born, their bond will be forged and they will love each other entirely. It’s no coincidence that when Nick is married off to Eden, June almost miscarries.

June wanders around the secret location dressed in Blaine’s clothes, she’s in her first trimester, she’s wearing the t shirt she took off him the first night they were together and very possibly the night they conceived Holly. His clothes act like some kind of personal shield, it’s the best he can do in his absence. Later as she makes the Globe her home, she jogs between the small cities of presses to a shrine she has erected, an assortment of mementos and photographs from the surrounding desks. Just like the Handmaids letters, she intends to keep their stories alive, their voices heard.

Upstairs she gathers old editions and pieces together the story of the The Sons of Jacob and their rise to power. As Holly grows in her womb, rebellion grows in her heart and June returns to the Waterfords with a crystalized intent to destroy Gilead. Nick looks at the wall of clippings reconstructing his past and begins to truly understand, this is the moment when Blaine’s loyalties truly turned. He tries to convince her to go, he’s understandably worried about her future and the future of his unborn child….he should be, it’s a girl.

The two share a morning cup of coffee and there’s the facade of a normalcy as we get a glimpse of Nick and June as a couple in the real world. “If I wake you then you leave, how is that a win for me?” She asks him. Atwood’s text describes June as no longer wanting to leave Nick, June’s caught in a dream from which she no longer wishes to wake. The rare moment of domesticity in this moment is so brief, but overflowing with contentment. Just a flash and then it’s gone, like all the other precious moments of peace these two get.

[warwickroyals]

beginning - previous - next

Kamryn! She's back. She's not doing too good but she's back <3

Yeah, this post took a lot of effort, trying to match the tone of those tabloids was the worst, there are always so many grammatical errors T_T

[ALEX] I’m so sorry we couldn’t spend more time together, M.G.

[MARGAUX-GRACE] Um . . . that’s okay, I think.

[ALEX] You think?

[MARGAUX-GRACE] Yeah, because I’m the onliest child in the whole world.

[ALEX] The loneliest child in the world?

[MARGAUX-GRACE] No, the onliest, because I like being the only one by myself sometimes.

[ALEX]  . . . Oh.

[ALEX] You be good for Grandma, promise?

[MARGAUX-GRACE] I will. Bye.

[ALEX] all right, baby girl, give me a kiss.

[MARGAUX-GRACE] Ewww, noooo!

[ALEX] [LAUGHS] Okay, fine. Now, run off now, I need to talk to Mommy.

[KAMRYN] You told your mom not to take Margaux directly to the palace. Why?

[ALEX] Do we have to do this now? Standing in the rain?

[KAMRYN] When else are we supposed to do this? July? Why don’t you want her at CP?

[ALEX] Nick is going to be at the palace all morning, he’s leaving at

[KAMRYN] —Fuck you.

[ALEX] Kamryn.

[KAMRYN] You don’t get to do this shit to her, okay? He is the only man in your entire family that has a presence in her life. You are not going to deprive her of that because of whatever dumb-ass sibling feud you have with him.

[ALEX] You were just complaining about him last week, why are you always like this?

[KAMRYN] Why am I always like this? Like what, Alexander? Like someone who gives a damn about her child?

[ALEX] Don’t play this game with me; I love my daughter.

[KAMRYN] [SCOFFS] She sees you what? five months out of the year? You didn’t care enough to make time for her this week.

[ALEX] I’m effectively a single parent at twenty-four. The impact all this has had on my career, my reputation . . . my ambitions. You, on the other hand, are exactly the same in the worst way possible. Why her? Of all the people you could use to hurt me. Why her?

[RAIN HAMMERING THE CAR’S WINDSHIELD.]

[KAMRYN] You didn’t have time for Margaux, but you made time for Nadia—Does her fiancé know about this, by the way?

[ALEX] Keep your voice down there are cameras.  

[THUNDER RUMBLING IN THE DISTANCE.]

~

THE CROWN Military career deemed best path for “lost” Prince Alex

Broken ace Kamryn “struggling” amid break up with Prince Alex, believes royal’s duties THREATEN

Margaux-Grace’s “idyllic, green-grass” childhood

Kamryn blasted as ‘totally selfish and spoilt’ over tearful airport appearance, by ‘no BS’ correspondent Blainely Crook

[NEWS ANCHOR] His Majesty is reportedly impressed with the progress his grandson is making and firmly believes service is the best way to get him on the right life path after an early adulthood riddled with scandal.

~

[TATIANA] My dear, I know you and I have had our disagreements in the past, but I know you well enough to know when you’re in pain.

[TATIANA] If you tell me what’s wrong, I’ll do everything in my power to ease that pain.

[splitscreen]

[nickblaine]

I already know Nick is going to speak to his baby like Max speaks to Rhye 😆

UGH you're right 😔

[colorsicantsee]

I Don’t Know Anything But I Know I Miss You./Sebastian Solo Para

PARA: I Don’t Know Anything But I Know I Miss You

RATING: PG-13/R.

PAIRING: Sebastian Self Para. (And Seblaine is still very much the endgame.)

SEBASTIAN: @colorsicantsee

TIME: Flashback to two weeks after the breakup and a brief look into the years that follow from Seb’s point of view.

LOCATION: Dalton Academy, Westerville, Ohio, and Paris, France.

INFO: Sebastian tries to deal with the breakup. He’s not doing too well.

WARNINGS(PLEASE READ THIS): This para includes physical fighting, drug use, alcohol use, an almost overdose.

NOTES: Some canon events remain in place while others have been changed. Some things may even be out of order. You can consider this sort of canon divergent AU. A few changes are that Blaine’s parents are different from the show (His mother is Filipina), he didn’t cheat on Kurt or date Dave and Sebastian is younger than Blaine. Feel free to send a message if you have any questions!

Under Cut For Content.

Sebastian sat slumped in an expensive oak chair, his Dalton Academy blazer crumpled despite being at the dry cleaner’s over the weekend. He held an ice pack to the side of his neck and stared out the window behind his headmaster’s desk. Thomas Smythe was on speaker phone on the desk as Sabine sat perched and perfect next to him. David and his father were there, too. The topic at hand was the fight the two boys had just gotten into at the beginning of Warbler rehearsal. They should be lucky he even fucking showed up at all. He didn’t want to be there, or at school or at home. Seb wasn’t sure where he wanted to be, but he knew that he wanted to be numb and distracted. 

He couldn’t focus on any of the words anybody was saying, just kept his tired eyes on the grey clouds that were clumped and heavy in the sky.  The pain in his neck throbbed in and out just like the words did, he’d heard David apologize and his father reprimand him, heard Sabine clear her throat, his headmaster admonished his attitude but he didn’t respond to anything and couldn’t quite place the exact moment they had happened. Sebastian just wanted to leave, just wanted to hide in his bed until he could sneak out and go get drunk or high somewhere. 

The headmaster slammed his hand on his desk and demanded Sebastian explain himself. He let his eyes lazily drift from the window finally. He simply shrugged his shoulders and stood up, dropped the slushy ice pack on the ground with a satisfying splat and sauntered out of the room. Seb hoped that they would just expel him but of course they wouldn’t. He was sure his father was doing damage control already, sure he had promised a donation, sure he had brought up his athletic son’s many talents. 

Sebastian retrieved his things out of his locker and headed to the dorm room his parents agreed to let him stay in after the break up. Thomas told him he could only stay on campus during the week and that he needed to stay out of trouble. He hadn’t kept either promise and was curious if the fight with David was the last straw, wondered if Thomas would storm up there that evening and drag him out by his ear. Seb had to laugh, his father couldn’t even be bothered to come to the goddamn Headmaster’s office. 

He took the long way to the dorms so that he could smoke a few cigarettes and linger in the cold air. Sebastian’s mind wandered to the events of the afternoon. How had the fight even started? He had been flirting with the new guy. This kid had been hanging around his dorm with puppy eyes and an obvious crush so he figured why the hell not? Seb had been messing with the other boy’s collar in the hallway outside of rehearsal and the other boy had him pressed against the wall of an empty classroom doorway. This kid smiled all big and ate everything he had said up and was so obviously weak in the knees that Sebastian should have been a little ashamed at how easy this was. But his eyes were big and his smile was nice and he wasn’t quite Blaine but he’d work. 

Seb could hear the Warblers begin to warm up and he was late but didn’t care. He knew that this guy wanted to kiss him but suddenly the rehearsal room door flew open and harmony flooded the hallway followed by a few gasps and laughs.

“What the hell is your problem, Sebastian?”

David stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. David, Blaine’s best friend who had probably heard all about the break up and how he hadn’t returned any texts. Sebastian didn’t want him to go report to his best friend that he had scared him or the other guy off. He wanted everyone to know that he was over it all, even if he wasn’t...they didn’t need to know what went on inside of his fucked up head. 

Seb pushed himself off of the wall, the other kid stepped away with this guilty look on his face that reminded him of Blaine. 

“I’m trying to get laid, David. You should try it some time.”

“It’s been a whole two weeks since Blaine. That’s great. Classic Sebastian Smythe.” 

A little crowd of warblers had gathered in the door behind David, Seb refused to look at them but he heard a few snickers. His top lip twitched and he tried so hard to keep his cool demeanor but he just couldn’t. These guys had no fucking clue how he felt and he didn’t need David following him around campus like the goddamn  ghost of relationship past to make him feel guilty anytime he nodded at a cute guy. 

 Hunter had finally pushed his way through the crowded doorway but Sebastian was on top of David, his fists everywhere before he could say anything. He could feel Hunter’s hands on his shoulders, could hear his deep voice ‘Bas, stop! Dude, come on! Fuck, stop it!”

David got a hold of his neck and pushed him off into Hunter, who wrapped his arms around his best friend as he screamed and thrashed until Nick brought the headmaster and another teacher over. 

Sebastian sat huddled in his blazer on the bleachers as he smoked. He knew what he had to do, he had to leave. Seb couldn’t stand being in Ohio, around all of these people that knew him and knew Blaine. He’d wait a few days for his father to calm down and he’d call and tell them that he would finish the year at Dalton but after that he was moving to Paris and would finish high school there. Sebastian knew his mother would be on his side which meant Thomas would give in. He just needed to get through this fucking year. 

---------

Paris was a blur. Sebastian had spent more time drunk than sober and his last year of school was a huge disappointment to his parents. Well, everything he had done was a huge disappointment, he was sure. Seb knew he was too young to act so reckless but he couldn’t find it in himself to care anymore. Sabine cried on the phone to him and Hunter begged him to slow down and he woke up in strange apartments and hotels.

Hunter and his mother had rescued him so many times they had all lost count. Lost count of the cold fully clothed showers, the stomach pumps, the screaming matches, cigarette burns, and tears. 

It all came to head in his darkest moment, he could see his mother through his blurry eyes as Hunter paced behind her on his cell phone. Could feel the cold porcelain of a bathtub press into the back of his neck. He remembered racing through the streets in an ambulance as his vision cut in and out. The following month was spent in rehab and he promised his parents he’d clean up his act as much as possible. Thomas had told him he needed to go to college and Sebastian's impressive extracurriculars and personal essays saved his ass. Sometimes he wondered if his father had committed a crime to get him into a good school because he knew that in the back of his head he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything nice, not after years of acting like a petulant cry baby. Seb had his heart broken one time and couldn’t fucking let it go. He still chased the taste of whiskey colored eyes in random men and searched the city streets for a kind smile and eye crinkled laughter. 

Sebastian had become a manageable mess. He did his schoolwork and earned decent grades but still partied and drank and fucked around. He’d learned how to hide his scars instead of healing them and had become an expert pretender. Sure, Hunter knew he was still drinking and getting high and chain smoking but he  couldn’t fix it. He just went along with it because he was tired, Seb knew it. There was only one person in the world who would have understood all of the pretending but he didn’t think he’d ever have a second chance.

Sebastian knew that love tasted like cherry chapstick and that regret tasted like hot cocoa and snow. Loneliness looked like honey eyes and sounded like pop songs hummed under the breath. That missing someone ached in a way that was impossible to describe and that being numb didn’t ever fully take any of it away.

/fin

[andersoncharm]

Don’t Read The Last Page- October 24, 2020

MiniPara: - Don’t Read The Last Page

Rating: PG.

Pairing: Seblaine. 

Sebastian: smythesm

Blaine: andersoncharm

When: October 24, 2020-  Two days after Blaine’s 24th Birthday.

Location: Sebastian’s Apartment- Boston, MA

Notes: Sam visits Blaine for his birthday week and gets to know Seb a little. He gives Blaine some unexpected news that could change Blaine and Sebastian’s lives…

Warnings:  Mentions of death. Parental Death (Blaine’s Mom), Mentions of toxic past relationships. Mentions of brief past Klaine.

Extra Warnings: (This hasn’t been brought up for a bit but, this RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tipped a sip of his tea attempting to hide the smile that had overtaken his face as he watched his boyfriend and his best friend place the freshly carved pumpkins out on the balcony. The visual brought him a joy that he’d not felt in a long time and he wanted to hold onto the moment, freeze it in his brain and save it for a darker day. They’d done six squash and each one had a dreadful grin or the face of a pup, or little cat whiskers carved into the shades of orange and yellow. He, Seb and Sam had spent the crisp day doing various autumnal things that Blaine wanted to do in sort of a birthday weekend celebration and Blaine’s perpetually worried yet happy demeanor over the last few days, had somehow evolved to an even bigger degree of happiness that balanced somewhere between being thrilled to downright ecstatic. Sam being here had brought a little slice of his childhood into his new world and Blaine was over the moon with the feeling of having them both near. If only David and Nick could be here to make it all even better.

He fought the urge to light each of the pumpkins from his spot in Sebastian’s apartment, but refrained- Sam would be leaving soon to go back to Ohio with his family for a few days before leaving for Japan and Blaine could wait before he used his favorite bit of spooky magic. Sam had been in America for almost two weeks now and he’d been in Boston for four days, Blaine only wished he had more time here. He sat his cup down and went over and opened the balcony door as Seb and Sam turned to come back in, the purple and orange glow of the Halloween lights backing them as they stepped into the room.

“I know Sam’s got a long drive ahead of him so I’ve made a kettle of hot water for tea and a pot of coffee, the two of you can take your pick. And yes, Sam, there are about six different types of creamer to choose from.” He rolled his eyes at Sam’s grin and sat down to wait for them to come back. Sebastian came first and Blaine’s face once again threatened to crack open into another smile as his boyfriend snuggled into him, shivering from being outside. Blaine wrapped his arm around him and pulled him even closer before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s not that cold, baby.” He mumbled teasingly. Seb just grunted in response.

“God the two of you are so gross.” Sam mused with a smile as he came back into the room with the biggest coffee cup from the cupboard filled way too full and slightly sloshing over as he sat down at the end of the couch. “Gross, but like way better than the dude you dated in high school for those few months. Kurt? Did I tell you that I ran into him when I first got to Ohio? Still has major uh, god complex energy. God complex? Did I use that right? Yeah.”

Blaine’s stomach dropped a little at the mention of his brief, witch ex-boyfriend and he pulled Seb a little closer. Whether it was to keep himself calm or Seb safe he couldn't tell.

Sebastian’s POV:

Seb liked Sam well enough. He had brought him a plethora of Japanese candy and a Sailor Moon manga. Sebastian was touched by how thoughtful it all was even if the blonde man wrapped him in a giant bear hug that had lasted a little too long for his liking. Sam laughed at pretty much everything Sebastian said (“your voice is so monotone, dude! It’s hilarious!”) and was Blaine’s biggest cheerleader, had a giant grin and even bigger arms so what wasn’t to like? Ras liked him, too (probably because they had almost the exact same demeanor and ecstatic energy.) Sam fully embraced Blaine’s autumnal themed birthday weekend and didn’t make things seem third wheel-y. 

Sebastian nestled the last grinning jack o’ lantern on the bannister as Sam stood back and wiped his palms on his jeans. They had carefully carried all six of the pumpkins they had carved with Blaine out to the balcony to display. Blaine had made a show of making sure each pumpkin had a little white votive candle inside of it though Seb knew that he would just use his magic to make sure they shone bright and long all season. 

He nodded at Sam as if to signify that their work was done and they headed back into the warmth of the apartment. Sebastian immediately snuggled into his boyfriend’s warm arms, the scent of coffee and cinnamon candles instantly comforting. He wasn’t ready for the nights to grow colder and darker but he knew how much Blaine loved the colder months and so he welcomed the chilly air and tried not to grumble about missing his beloved sun too much. 

Seb peeled himself out of the other man’s strong arms, flipped Sam off and poured himself a cup of coffee with a little half and half. He clasped his mug and reveled in the feeling of the hot ceramic in his hands. Sebastian joined the other men in the living room and tried not to audibly sigh when he noticed Sam’s coffee (kind calling it that, it was mostly caramel creamer) slosh onto the arm of the couch. He knew Blaine would magic it but his Virgo tendencies were itchy with the want to spray the spot down with cleaner and scrub vigorously.  

His ears perked at the mention of Blaine’s ex. Sebastian felt the other man pull him a little closer and could feel the energy change around them. He sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat, “God complex, huh?” Sebastian took a drink of his coffee and watched Sam who seemed very chill as he sipped on his drink and gave Ras’s hair a ruffle. He could feel Blaine’s body tense to his side. “Humor us, Sam. What did he have to say?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s heart thudded in his chest as he waited for Sam to reply to them. This familiar icy feeling of dread that he’d grown accustomed to ignoring over the past couple of years slowly crept over his body even before Sam spoke what had been said into the atmosphere. He tried his hardest not to react, tired not to grip Seb’s arm too tightly as his stomach fell to the floor. Sam’s perky, nonchalance made Blaine feel crazy about his internal struggle, but one quick glance at Seb told him that he wasn’t alone in his struggle. All at once he was happy that Hunter and Tony had already left a couple of days ago after meeting Sam and weren’t here to hear this. Wouldn’t it be their obligation to the Order to do something about it? Kurt was a Witch. A Witch that now knew about Sebastian and Blaine’s very forbidden relationship… He was especially thankful that Freya was out in the moonlight so that she couldn’t tell him she told him so. No matter how much she cared for Seb and of course, Ras.

“Well, he was like standing there, looking like he stepped out of some magazine, you know how he was, remember? And then he just casually asks how you are. So I tell him how happy you are and how you’ve got this awesome boyfriend named Sebastian that treats you like an equal and not like, you know, a trophy wife like he did and this fucking dude just keeps smiling at me. His eyes got all big and crazy looking and man, ooh, he looked like that cat from Alice in Wonderland, you know? Anyway,  I’m glad you got outta that one as quick as you did.” Sam took a big swig of his too hot drink and winched but still managed to look so proud of himself for talking Seb and Blaine up. He really was a good best friend. But, all Blaine could feel was that shrinking dread. 

Blaine licked his lips, a permanent chill settling into his bones as he sat his tea cup onto the coffee table in front of them before leaning back against Seb. His body tensed and ready for a fight as if Kurt or the Order and Council would bust through the door at any second. “That’s so strange. We dated for like two or three months, I can’t see why he’d even care what I’m up to.” He forced a laugh and reached out for Seb’s hand, linking their fingers and squeezing tightly so as not to float away. “How long ago was this?”

Sam took another drink of his coffee and shrugged. “Like when I first got into Ohio.” He shook his head. “I saw him about three more times on my trip, he didn’t talk to me or anything, just seemed to be at a few places I went to, I wouldn’t worry about it, dude. Like you said, you totally shouldn't give a shit about what he thinks anyway.” His best friend stopped and looked up at the clock with a sigh. “Ugh, I guess I should go soon. I promise the next time I come though that I’ll stay longer than four days, alright?” Sam stood up and not so carefully went into the kitchen to discard his cup into the sink. He pulled Seb into a hug that looked like it hurt before standing up and pulling Blaine into an even stronger hug, crushing him against him. Blaine knew he was tense and that he was distracted and he hated that he wasn’t able to say a proper goodbye to his best friend, but his heart was thudding so fucking hard in his ribcage that he wanted to scream.

He was such an idiot. How could he have been so careless? How could he have forgotten that Sam’s family was from Ohio that sweet, oblivious Sam would have no clue that all the Facebook and Instagram and Twitter posts had been glamoured so that it looked like Blaine was still single to Witchfolk? The high from his Birthday weekend crashed down hard and he couldn’t even bring himself to speak after Sam had left. His body felt heavy as he made his way back into the bedroom to get dressed for bed. He ignored Ras’ pitiful look which made him feel worse. He was working on autopilot as he changed his clothes and he could feel Seb’s eyes on him, searching for answers that Blaine didn’t have. His hands were shaking as he ran them through his curls before finally looking up at Sebastian, lost.

“Fuck, Seb…”

Sebastian’s POV:

It was a good thing that Sebastian was in law school and had been trained not to wear his emotions on his sleeve and had a pretty perfect poker face because his stomach was tied in knots. He knew that he and Blaine needed to remain calm while Sam was around. Kurt was a witch. A witch knew about them and it wasn’t just any old witch, it was Blaine’s ex. Sure, they had only been together a few months but they way it had been explained to Sebastian, he was sure there was a grudge. He could feel his boyfriend’s rigid body and slight shake. “Fuck him.” The words were meant for Blaine’s feelings as well as a reply to Sam’s story.  

Sebastian awkwardly patted Sam on the back as he bunched him up into a hug. Blaine hugged his best friend and gave a half hearted goodbye and Ras gave him a few kisses and he was on his way out. Seb walked Sam to the door and wished him a safe trip. He watched Blaine silently head into the bedroom and sighed. 

“What does this mean, B? What do we do?” He pulled open the top drawer on his dresser to find the pack of cigarettes he had nestled in amongst his boxers. He felt too agitated to get into his sweats or get undressed for bed. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sleep at all. Sebastian sat on the bed next to the other man, his cigarette in between his lips. “Can I get a light?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine gave a half hearted smile and reached out his hand and with a surge of energy and a flick of his fingers Sebastian’s cigarette was lit. Seb rarely let Blaine use magic with him aside from sex and he knew this was an attempt to make him feel better. He watched as his boyfriend took a long drag, his eyes blurring from staring at the reddish orange glow of the magic lighted ash. He worried his bottom lip as his thoughts raced through his head. What would he do? He could go to Hunter and Tony, warn them that someone may know about him and Sebastian. Someone that could do something about it, that might dislike him just enough to turn him in. But, would Kurt? They’d only been together a few months and while they hadn’t had the best break up and Blaine had gotten angry about the way Kurt had controlled every aspect about their relationship right down to what Blaine wore sometimes, surely that didn’t mean he’d try to have him killed. Right?

He blinked remembering the disdain in Kurt’s eyes when he said he didn’t want to be his legacy, descendant prize. He remembered when Kurt had reminded Blaine that some witches never found their fate and that they should just settle for each other since Kurt understood what it was like to lose a parent. Blaine remembered how upset he’d been when Kurt threw his mother's death in his face and suddenly it was all too much for him at once. He shook his head and turned back to look at his boyfriend. 

“Nothing. We’re not going to do anything, okay?” He knew it sounded insane and saying it out loud scared the hell out of him, but what was he supposed to do? “If we tell Hunter or Tony or my dad it will only expedite everything and I want to hold onto us for as long as I fucking can.” His voice was sharp, like he needed to convince himself and Sebastian. “Kurt has known about us for two weeks, surely he would have gone to the Council or the  Order by now, right?” Or he’s just biding his time…  He shrugged that thought off, knowing it was going to haunt his thoughts for the rest of his life, leaned in closer to Sebastian. 

“Whatever has to happen is going to happen. All I know is that I’m not leaving and I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? My top priority is keeping you safe and I plan on sticking by that.” He reached for Sebastian’s free hand and brought the back of it up to his lips and pressed a kiss to it, his eyes falling closed as he breathed him in. The overwhelming feeling of how much he loved this man and how much dying for him and them would be worth it overtook him and he wanted to scream and cry about how unfair the world was but Sebastian needed him to be calm and he needed to be calm for himself or he’d panic and where would that leave him?

“It’s going to be okay.” He mumbled the words, his conviction whooshing out of him as he scooted so that he was as close to Sebastian as he could get, his head pressing into his chest as he tried to steady his breathing and convince himself of the words' truths. It had to be okay.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian took a long drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke up towards the ceiling. He stared at the ceiling fan for a few moments, the light making little blue dots swim in front of his eyes. Seb squeezed Blaine’s thigh and held the cigarette out towards him. “Hopefully this kid has grown up some.” He took a deep breath and his lungs wavered a bit from the smoke and the fear swimming low in his belly. Sebastian didn’t like the sound of any of the words Blaine was saying. It all sounded detrimental and uncertain and scary. “You’re my top priority, too, you know. I need you to be safe, too.” He bit his bottom lip and looked into the other man’s warm eyes. Blaine looked scared and sad and that made Seb’s stomach knot up and his anxiety spike. “We can get through this.” Sebastian didn’t want to turn his courthouse tricks on with Blaine but he wanted to calm the other man down and reassure him somehow. 

“Maybe we should lay in bed and watch a movie. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep and I don’t want to mindlessly stare at my phone all night. You can pick what we watch.” Sebastian stood up and grabbed the sweatpants he had set out for that night off of his pillow. “The water is probably still warm in the kettle. I’ll bring you some chamomile tea.” 

So, even though his body felt sick with anxiety and his throat felt dry and his hands wanted to shake, he forced his voice to stay even and his hands to calmly grip the maroon mug that he filled with hot water for Blaine. Sebastian turned off the lights and plugged in the heating pad for Blaine, snuggled into his side as they watched Tangled and West Side Story. He drifted off to sleep before anything bad happened to Tony and Maria and wished on any star that happened to be out that he and Blaine would be okay.

/fin.

[todaydreambelieversfic]

chapter 4

Heavenly!  That’s the way Blaine could describe the current scene.  Lounging out by the pool naked with his gorgeous boyfriend.  The soreness had faded from the waxings they had endured, and now they were relaxing after they showered and thoroughly cleaned themselves.  Blaine had to admit that the aftermath of the waxing was totally worth it if it meant that his boyfriend’s beautiful skin was even more smooth and sensitive than usual.  

He had been caressing him all morning.  He allowed his mind to take him back to this morning when he was using a loofah to cleanse his boyfriend’s back, but the sponge was quickly abandoned when Kurt slid his hands down Blaine’s wet, soapy back and firmly squeezed his ass.  Blaine immediately found Kurt’s lips with his own and then moved his own mouth down, down to Kurt’s luscious, fully erect dick, engulfing it while he looked at Kurt, his head falling back against the shower stall wall as he cried for Blaine to never stop what he was doing.  He even dared to allow his tongue to venture, first to Kurt’s ball sac and then further, further in between his boyfriend’s legs as his fingers slid in between his cheeks, teasing playfully as Kurt cried out in orgasmic bliss.  

“Well, damn.  I wanted to keep going,” Blaine boldly said with a wink.

“Thank you,” Kurt laughed playfully as he picked up the showerhead and sprayed the creamy mess from the shower walls.  “But the articles I read said you need to wait a little while after you irrigate because liquid could seep out, and it’s supposed to be really unsexy.  Besides, I like what you just did. A lot,” he said hoarsely like his voice was as wrecked as he was from what had just transpired.  

“I liked it too.  You’re perfect.  I love touching you,” Blaine said as he washed his face with his own loofah.  

“I love it too, but it’s kinda unfair,” Kurt pouted.  “Because someone is cleaning himself now before I could make him dirty, like he just did to me,” Kurt pulled the loofa from Blaine’s hands and kissed him dirtily before dropping to his knees and returning the favor.

And now, they were both lying on the lounge chairs, hair relaxed and unstyled so they could both pull and tug it as they made out under the sun when the urge struck them.  They had the whole weekend to explore and study one another and how to make each other fall apart.  The worst part about it was that Kurt was irresistible like this, and yet, he insisted that they stick to their timetable. 

They actually made a plan that the poolside was the perfect place for their explorations, as the water was right there and the whole area was surrounded by a fence and landscape that blocked any nosy neighbors from seeing what they were getting up to.  They had Katy Perry blasting from the sound system to drown out any noise from their neighbors or noise that they made.  Kurt was a screamer, although Kurt assured him that when he climaxed, all the dogs joined in with the howl that he made.  Blaine had argued that he was not that bad until Kurt recorded him and the resounding dogs in the background.  Kurt- one.  Blaine-zero.  Although, he realized that he got a hell of an orgasm out of it so they both kinda won.  

Kurt sighed happily as Blaine sat down behind him on the chair and started rubbing his bare back with sunscreen.  “You’re starting to pinken.”

“Yeah.  It’s not fair.  Some of us get a gorgeously tan and others turn into lobsters after being in the sun for two whole minutes.  We might need to rethink this.  I’d hate to get a sunburn on my ass,” Kurt chuckled.

“As would I.  Although, I promise to kiss it all better.  Besides, it couldn’t be as red as it was last night.”

Kurt sat up straight as Blaine massaged the cream into his upper back.  “I should cut you off for that.  Were you trying to torture me, or did you actually get joy from hearing me scream like that.  Your neighbors probably thought I was rehearsing to replace Linda Blair in the Exorcist.” “I normally take pleasure in making you scream, especially when you demand me not to stop and those pretty eyes of yours roll up.  I thought I’ve heard every expletive that existed after walking in on Jeff and Nick that time in our room, but you put them to shame.  My baby has a dirty,” he kissed Kurt on the neck, “dirty-” he kissed him behind the ear and then whispered, “mouth.”

“Which is exactly how you like it, as this next foray into exploration will prove.  I’d say it’s about to get A LOT dirtier,” Kurt teased, licking his lips as he swung around toward Blaine and pushed him back in the chair and straddled him, lowering his body on top of Blaine’s and kissing him messily as the music continued to play.  

“Don’t tease me, Kurt,” Blaine panted, as his hands tangled into Kurt’s already unruly hair as Kurt started grinding against him.  

“I don’t intend to tease at all,” Kurt purred, taking both of their lengths in his hand.  

“Oh hell yes,” Blaine cried out.  This night was going to be perfect, just the two of them, no distractions, no limitations, no regrets.  Just love and hot, hot sex.  

Cooper Anderson was excited.  It had been months since he had been back to Ohio, but now, he was finally free, and he had some amazing news to share. He knew that Blaine was going to be home this weekend.  His mom had told him earlier when they talked on the phone.  He knew Kurt would most likely be there as well, since his mom told him that they had practically been joined at the hip all summer.  

Kurt seemed like a great guy, at least from what he saw when he had visited Blaine back in the spring.  He had called him the most handsome man in America, and then he even listened to him and gave him advice when Blaine was angry at him.  They had even skyped a few times, the three of them, because Cooper wasn’t able to travel now with his current gig.  He had a new pilot that he had been cast for, and he needed advice.  He was supposed to play a gay life guard, and he needed to do some research.  The best way to do that was to talk to his two favorite gays and maybe even spend time in their pool, goofing around and practicing his life-saving skills.  

He let the door slam behind him as he dropped his bag on the living room floor (He could do that since his mom wasn’t home) and yelled out loud.  “Blainey?  Kurt?  You guys around here somewhere?”  He chuckled when he heard “Teenage Dream blaring from the pool house stereo system.  “He still loves his Katy.  He’ll crap his pants when he sees the autograph I got for him,” he said to no one as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured a glass of lemon berry tea.  Kurt was definitely here.  Blaine had told him that it was Kurt’s favorite beverage.  Actually, he knew more about Kurt than he did his own brother because Blaine never stopped talking about him.  He was quite jealous of Blaine, really.  To be so young and already be so in love with someone.  It was sweet.  

He sat his glass in the sink and slid the glass door open and closed it behind him.  He rounded the corner and was halfway to the pool’s gate when he heard something.  A scream.

Oh god!  Was one of them hurt? Was it a pool emergency?  He could practice his life-saving skills right now.  He yanked his shirt over his head and dropped it to the ground as he dashed  to the gate and quickly unlatched it, letting it slam closed behind him.  His eyes darted around quickly as he searched the water to see if one of the boys was in danger when he froze in place.  

“Oh god, yes.  Blaine!  Yes!  Just like that!” Kurt was lying on his stomach on a chaise lounge chair, his ass elevated up higher than the rest of his body and his brother was perched on his knees, which were resting on a lounge cushion and Blaine was on the ground behind him, although he really couldn’t see him because Kurt was blocking his view. A very naked Kurt, who hadn’t seemed to notice that he and Blaine were no longer alone.  

“Blaine, what the hell are you two  doi-?  Cooper froze in mid-sentence when Blaine’s head shot up right above Kurt’s ass.  Something slipped off his tongue as he started to speak.  

“Coop, what the hell?” Blaine yelled as Kurt practically fell off the lounge chair and scrambled to get something, anything to cover his naked body with.  He attempted to grab a cushion, which Blaine’s knee was still on, and jerked it harshly, causing Blaine to lose his balance and fall forward clumsily onto the lounge chair. 

Coop quickly threw a robe that had been sitting on a chair at his brother.  “Apparently, I'm not doing anything half as exciting as you too.  I’m not even going to ask about what I think I just saw.”

“You wouldn’t have saw anything if I knew you were coming.  What are you doing in Ohio?” Blaine questioned as he straightened himself, his hand perched on his side as he did when he was thoroughly annoyed.

“Dress first, then yell at me!” Cooper demanded, alerting Blaine to the fact that he was in fact, standing there in front of his brother still stark naked.  Kurt struggled to hold the cushion in place as he reached with his other hand for his robe that was lying on the other lounge chair.  

“Cooper, a little privacy please,” Kurt squealed as he attempted to put on the robe with one hand while he tried to conceal himself with the cushion.  His attempt was unsuccessful as the cushion slipped from his hand as he fought to get his arm in the sleeve, flashing Cooper, who for some reason, was still standing there like a voyeur.  

“COOP, GEEZ!  GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND LET US GET DECENT!”

“Uh, yeah.  Sure thing, Squirt.  Although Kurt seemed to think what you were doing felt more than decent, judging by his banshee screams,” Cooper replied cheekily as he turned around and exited the gate.  “You two get dressed and come to the living room.  We should chat.”

This was a nightmare.  Cooper wasn’t supposed to be here this weekend.  Noone was, except him and Kurt.  They had major plans, which were now ruined.  What was worse is that his brother thought that they should talk about what he just saw them doing. What was he planning?  Blackmail?  Blabbing to his parents?  He wouldn’t put it past his brother.  He sighed heavily as he tied the belt of his robe around his waist.  “Kurt, you ok?” he called out to his boyfriend who had fled to the poolhouse.  He cracked the door open and saw Kurt hunkered down on the couch, his knees up and his head resting on them.  His body was shaking.

“Hell no, I’m not ok.  Your brother just walked in on us when your tongue was in my ass,” he replied, his head hunched down between his knees.  “I’m never coming out of here.”

“Hey, I said that same thing when I had my thirteenth birthday party here.  It was a pool party, and I just came to terms that I was gay when I saw Gregory in his tight swim trunks.  One of the other guys hollered out, “Hey Woody, where’s Buzz.”  He pointed to my own swim trunks, which were embarrassingly tented.  I ran in here and slammed the door behind me, refusing to come out.  Cooper came in here and we sat on this very couch and just talked.  I came out to him that day.  I seriously thought that memory would be the worst one I’d ever have of this place.  If only that were true,” Blaine blushed, dropping his head down and chuckling lightly.  “Although, it could be worse.”

Kurt’s head shot up and he glared at his boyfriend.  “How in the hell could this be worse?”

“At least it was Coop and not my mom or dad.  Or worse.  It could’ve been your dad.”

“Ok, that would’ve been worse,” Kurt admitted, his cheeks still blood red.  “Do you think he’d tell anybody what he saw?”

“Cooper?  Not on purpose.  But will he probably blab it out in the most embarrassing place possible.  Yep,” Blaine replied, sighing.  He took Kurt’s hand in his own and stroked it lovingly.  “Come on.  Let’s go get this over with.”

“So, are either of  you going to explain what you were doing?” Cooper grinned as he sat down across from his brother on the loveseat.  

“Actually, no.  I don’t care to in the least,” Blaine replied.  “How about you, babe.”

Kurt shook his head.  “Nope.  Not now, not ever.”

“What are you doing home?” Blaine asked as his back rested against the sofa, his knees falling apart.   

  “Squirt, you’re in a robe and I can see your hose.  Care to put it back in the truck there?” Cooper laughed as Blaine looked down in horror and realized that he flashed his brother for a second time in a matter of minutes.  Kurt laughed and crossed his legs tightly to make sure that his boyfriend’s brother didn’t see more of him than he already had earlier.  

“What are you doing here?” Blaine questioned.

“I had good news and a break from my shooting schedule.  I haven’t seen you in a while, and mom said you’d be home," Cooper explained.

“Did it occur to you that I may not be alone?”

“Actually, mom told me that Kurt would be here.  That’s why I didn’t call.  I wanted to surprise you both since Kurt is a fan of mine.”

“Well, you certainly accomplished that goal,” Kurt muttered.  “I’ve never been more surprised in my life.”

“That goes for me too, you know.  I’m not even going to ask what I interrupted,” Cooper replied.

“You already did.  You didn’t get it out of me then, and you aren’t getting it out of me now.”

“Sounds like something Kurt said to you while he was on that lounge chair,” Cooper laughed, almost doubling over on the couch arm.  

Kurt’s cheeks flamed crimson as he buried his head into his boyfriend’s shoulder.  “Used to be a fan.  Now, I’m contemplating all the places in this huge house where I could hide your body,” he muttered under his breath.

“Hide my body?  Seems that thought would be more fitting for the both of you, seeing that I saw you both naked just a few minutes ago.”

“Are you ever going to drop it?” Blaine sighed.

“Don’t need to.  Kurt already did that back by the pool.” Cooper howled with laughter.  

“All the times that you tried to explain why your brother kinda got on your nerves.  I get it now.” Kurt said to his boyfriend. 

“You said you had good news?” Blaine interrupted, trying to change the subject.

“I’m going to be on television!  Like something bigger than a commercial this time,” Cooper gushed, his hands swinging wildly in excitement.  “I got cast in a new pilot. It’s gonna be my first tv show!”

“That’s great!”  Blaine jumped up and rushed over to his big brother and gave him a big hug.  “What’s the show?’

“Squirt, the hose is swinging free again.  God, go get dressed, and then I’ll tell you all about it.”

Both Kurt and Blaine retreated to Blaine’s room and got dressed in something that didn’t lead to a wardrobe malfunction and returned to the living room.  “So tell me about this show,” Blaine coaxed, as he sat back down on the couch. 

“It’s called Guards.  I play a lifeguard.  That’s why I ran out to the pool.  I heard a scream and I figured that one of you was in trouble.  I figured I could get some real-life practice in, and you know, save my brother’s life and all, since I had to go through training and all.  I never actually got to rescue an actual person, although that dummy was fairly lifelike.  She had a nice rack.”

“Coop, so when do you start shooting?” Blaine asked.

“Next week, which is why I wanted to talk to you this weekend before filming began.  I needed to ask you guys something, you know, for research purposes.”

“Research?”  Kurt cocked his head sideways.  “How is talking to us research?”

“Cause my character has to come out in the first episode.  He’s gay and I thought it’d be great to talk to you guys because you both had to do that, even though Blaine says that you didn’t really have to because everybody already knew.”

Kurt glared at Blaine, who scooted away from his boyfriend a little. “You weren’t supposed to blurt that out either, Coop.” Blaine sighed. 

“I wasn’t supposed to see Kurt’s bare ass today either, but things happen,” Cooper chuckled. “Anyway, I need both of your help.  My character, Kip, is like, really comfortable with his gayness around everybody except his parents.  In fact, he’s so comfortable with his sexuality that he’s kinda like a ho and he’s getting buck wild with another guy in the very first episode.  Obviously, I came to the right people to talk to,” Cooper laughed.

Kurt shook his head back and forth. “Oh my god.”

“Yep, Heard you say that earlier too,” Cooper teased.  “So, the coming out part won’t be so bad.  I remember when you came out to me, buddy, and I committed it to memory just in case I ever had to use it for a scene.  But I have to do something else that I’ve never really done before,” Cooper dropped his eyes down so that he was staring at the floor.  

“Which is?”

“Ihavetorimhim,” Coop muttered.

“What?  Kurt asked, glancing at Cooper and then his boyfriend in confusion.

“Rimming!  I HAVE TO pretend to rim him!”  Cooper practically yelled.  “And I’m not really sure what that even is, although I think you two came pretty close to showing me how it was done earlier.  

Blaine bit his lip to try to stifle a laugh, but it came out as half laugh half snort. “Wait, is this porn?”

“It’s not.  It’s all simulated.  They said they won’t show much aside from his naked ass and some thrusting, but my junk will be covered,” Cooper explained.  “Anyway, I figured that you two could help me, since you are obviously experts..”

“Actually, no.  We really aren’t, since you interrupted us, and it was the only time we ever tried, and most likely, the last,” Kurt snarked.

“Wait, the last?” Blaine squeaked.  “But you didn’t even get to do it to me y-” He stopped when he saw Kurt’s bitch glare as he gestured to Cooper, reminding him that his brother was still there.

“So wait, that was the first time?  What was it like?” Cooper inquired.

“It was quite amazing UNTIL we were interrupted by you.  Is that the reason you kept leering?” Kurt questioned.

Cooper nodded. 

“You know that straight couples do it too, right?  You didn’t have to come to us.” Blaine blurted, and then sighed.  

“Well, I did.  I asked a few buddies, but they all said they never tried it.  But one of them said that the gays love that stuff, and it seems like they were right,” Cooper teased, cocking an eyebrow.   

“Well, at least it’s just simulated. Are you just giving, or are you on the receiving end too?” Kurt asked.  Blaine slapped his shoulder, as if to ask why are you asking him this.

“Um, I think I’m just giving, for this episode anyway.  Why?”

“Well, you’re kind of a hairy guy, but many gay guys, especially gay guys prefer the hairless look.  Especially in that area,” Kurt said, grinning at Blaine slyly.

“Yeah, I noticed your ass was smooth.  Blaine glared at Cooper as if to say, what the hell, man.  “Don’t look at me like that.  It was right in my line of sight, and his skin is so freakin pale, that I’d notice if it had hair or not.  Are you just naturally that way?  My own screen partner said his agent said he should schedule a waxing session for his chest and his ass. Do you think that I should get it done too?”

“Definitely!  Blaine smiled wildly.  “The fans would love it.”

“But doesn’t it hurt? I’ve dated a couple of chicks that say it hurts like hell.  Cooper looked concerned.

“Nah.  It wasn’t that bad,” Blaine said, almost biting his lip to stifle a laugh from escaping.  “Was it Kurt?”

“Nope.  Not that bad at all.  Actually, you should bring a friend along to record it.  To show how manly you are.  Blaine could go, for support and all, at least for the chest part.”

“You’d do that buddy?” Cooper asked, perching his chin on his hand.

“Of course.  No problem.  What are brothers for?” Blaine grinned.  

[skyshipper]

Hello! So I’m new to THT fandom, because I recently watched it and only thing I’m seeing is a lot of hate on Nick. Well I don’t expect everyone to love him and that’s perfectly fine, but I guess it confuses me seeing so many excuses for Ser*na. Well I like her (she can make me crazy at times) I just don’t see how we can excuse her behavior, but Nick is the bad guy. Am i missing something? Anyways, since I’m new to the fandom can you recommend some pro June/Nick and Nick blogs?

Hello!  Welcome. ❤️

There is a lot of Nick hate out there for sure, which is frustrating. I think it comes from a view of feminism that says any focus on a man detracts from a woman’s story. Of course we want to see more women’s stories represented on screen, but those stories are made much stronger when they portray both intersectional feminism and the fact that not all men are bad.  The love and support of people around us helps to bring us up, be that friendships, maternal/paternal love or the love of a partner. The idea that romance diminishes our heroines is just a lot of ingrained misogyny telling you that love is silly or unimportant in a woman’s life.  Furthermore, women’s stories as a whole (especially on show that wants to represent feminism) are much stronger when they elevate ALL women’s voices, not just those of white women.

The arguments around complicity you see regarding Serena vs. Nick, I also find very frustrating. There are a lot of wonderful articles out there about how this show represents white feminism only that are valuable reading. I encourage you to look them up if you haven’t already. A lot of that white feminist viewpoint can be seen through how the show so desperately wants to push Serena as a victim despite the fact that she helped build Gilead and was instrumental in the overthrow of the US government. She continually makes choices to serve her own self interest while abusing and punishing those around her so I don’t feel sorry for her one bit. Nick, on the other hand, was a young man living in poverty and desperate for work. The show has sadly never bothered to address how class issues played a role in the rise of Gilead which is such an important part of Nick’s story. Part of the reason you see a lot of Nick hate comes from the fact that some viewers see him as guilty just by virtue of being male, but also because the audience has been left to infer a lot of things about him. As a low status male in this society I believe he was forced to do things to survive just like everyone else. This includes being forced to sleep with June in 1x05 so Serena could steal their baby and being forced to marry Eden in 2x05. 

Since the show has put Nick so much on the back burner this season, I will refer to Margaret’s own words in an interview regarding her novel which I think illustrates an important difference between Serena and Nick.  She refers to her novel as “a study of power, and how it operates and how it deforms or shapes the people who are living within that kind of regime.” When you look at the book and these characters in that context the differences between Nick and Serena are quite clear. Nick has continually used his limited power to help those around him. By becoming an Eye to help take down commanders and by working within Mayday and the Martha network to help June and Holly try to escape on multiple occasions.  Serena has continually used her power and privilege to help herself by raping, abusing and emotionally tormenting those within her household at every turn. To me the difference in their moral characters are quite clear.

As for some pro Nick/June and pro-Nick blogs, I’d check out @nickjunesource @teamnick @smoulderingocean @dcgal814 @zalrb @aperture @splitscreen @dystopiandramaqueen @benofie and @forthisone. And be sure to check the #nick x june and #nick blaine tags to find more Nick friendly people.  I assure you there are a lot of us out there! 

[longhornrachel]

My Man//Selfpara

Who: Rachel Berry 

Where: Rachel's Finals 

When: May 20th, 2020 

Notes: Rachel faces her fears and does a song dedicated to Finn 

Rachel had had a long day. Having all of her performance finals on one day had been an exciting thing mainly for the prospect of being done, but she had been on stage from 6 this morning, only having an hour to have lunch and get into costume and makeup for her scenes and monologues. Everything had gone perfectly though. She had danced each dance better than the last, she had done each scene and monologue with every intention and characteristic she had planned and even now as she waited to do her last song she was pleased. She had done her absolute best, even with the looming threat of Nationals, her throuple issue with Marley and Finn and the move from the dorm into the penthouse. She had summer to look forward to for once. A mini vacation with Blaine and Sam on the horizon, a gala that she was going to perform at, a real vacation with her first love Finn. Finn. Just thinking of Finn gave her butterflies in all the best ways. Yes, things with Finn and timing weren’t ideal. She couldn’t have ever imagined being involved with the boy who was having a baby with her absolute best friend, but at the same time…he made her so happy. She felt so protected, so loved, so cared for. And wasn’t that what a first love should be? She didn’t have much experience with it, she had never dated in high school, she had never understood the point. But Finn, Finn made her see all of those reasons. She had been scared at the beginning, scared of getting hurt, scared of getting in too deep, but she wasn’t anymore. And maybe this wouldn’t be forever, but maybe it would be and wasn’t that half the fun.

“Rachel Berry,” Douglass called, the underclassmen running the finals for the professors. She smiled as she stood, smoothing the black dress she had changed into. “Break a leg,” he said with a smile, squeezing her elbow before letting her go in again. She walked onto the stage, her heels clicking as she headed for centerstage.

“Welcome back Rachel,” Eloise, the head of her department said with a smile. “What have you prepared for your final song? It should be…yes…your ballad” she said as she shuffled her paperwork to find her notes on Rachel.

“Yes ma’am…I’ll be performing My Man, from Funny Girl” she said with a small nervous nod. Rachel had stayed far away from Funny Girl since the terrible audition at NYADA. She hadn’t watched it, sung it, or even thought of it. But when she had been given the assignment, this had been the first song that had popped into her head. And that had to be a sign.

“Ambitious pick…if anyone can take it on though its you,” Eloise said sitting back in her chair to listen. “Whenever you’re ready Rachel” Rachel nodded, taking a moment to calm her nerves before giving a nod to the piano player that she was ready. She focused, not on Eloise and the other students watching in the audience, but on Finn, on what he did for her, on how he had opened her heart.

“Oh my man I love him so

He'll never know

All my life is just despair

But I don't care

When he takes me in his arms

The world is bright, alright

  What's the difference if I say

I'll go away

When I know I'll come back

On my knees someday

For whatever my man is

I am his forever more”

  Tears had begun to form as she sang, as she let herself slip into the emotion of the song. Fanny and Nick didn’t end up together in the end, and maybe neither would she and Finn, but until that moment came, she was his, heart and soul.

“Oh my man I love him so

He'll never know

All my life is just despair

But I don't care

When he takes me in his arms

The world is bright, alright

  What's the difference if I say

I'll go away

When I know I'll come back

On my knees someday

For whatever my man is

I am his forever more”

Rachel finished the song strong, her arms outstretched as she threw her voice to the heavens, head thrown back as she finished her belt. It was silent in the auditorium for a moment, as if no one was exactly sure what they had just witnessed until she heard the smattering of applause from the students watching. She looked to Eloise who gave a nod, a smile on her face before she went back to Rachel’s notes. Rachel wiped her eyes and gave a small shaky smile before giving the smallest of curtsy’s as she went to grab her music from the pianist and then head to Eloise for her marks.

“Sit down Rachel,” Eloise said motioning to a chair a chair from her. “That was really fantastic, honestly this year has been fantastic for you. You’ve really grown not only as a performer, but this is a new confident woman I see before me. And I heard you finally took my advice and auditioned for a summer show”

“Yes…” Rachel said, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on her skirt. “I thought maybe you were right, maybe it was time to put myself out there…again.”

“Listen, I know UT wasn’t your dream school, I know you wanted NYADA and that losing that scared you…And I let you be scared and go through that, I didn’t force it even though I was well within my rights to do so. I wanted you to come to it on your own, and you have. I’m very proud of you Rachel, and I will be front row center opening night to cheer you on. That being said, I want you auditioning for every show here next semester. I want to build the shows around you and Brody. You’re the only seniors in the department next year on the acting tract and I want to show you off…that way when you hit it big, I can use you to get all that money they like to dangle in our faces.” She laughed and so did Rachel. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. They believed in her, someone else really honestly believed in her. Eloise grabbed her card and handed it to Rachel. “You got straight a’s kid, as usual…take the summer enjoy your time, and be ready to really work in the fall, it’s all about you.” Rachel thanked her, taking the card with her grades and comments before heading out of the building and to her car in shock. She sat in the front seat for a moment before crying, tears of joy at the thought. Things were finally coming up Rachel’s way, they could only go up from here.

[crazedlunatic]

Zach Can’t Win

“Ugh, go away.” Zach, who was laying in his bed, groaned.

“You have to cut your hair.” Kurt said.

Sarah, who was sitting on the end of Zach’s bed while he played with a two week old puppy, nodded eagerly when Zach wasn’t looking.

Because while she adored his curls… they were getting a little extra unruly.

“I don’t want to cut my hair.”

“Honey, you look homeless.”

Zach looked up, screwing his face up. “What?!”

“Yes. Apparently now there’s rumors that your father and I are divorcing and I’m shunning you because you look like him.” Kurt gave him a look. “Please, Zach. Please. I am so sick of social media.”

“Daddy, you never ask Nick to cut his hair.”

“Because Nick cuts his hair. His hair also doesn’t clog up the shower drains. You and Blaine have the same hair. If you kept yours shorter like he does—”

“Wait.” Sarah gasped. “Hair cut or hair cut?”

“Hair cut.”

“No!” Sarah shook her head. “You can’t make him do that. He should just get it so it doesn’t look as, uhm… homeless-y. But not short.”

“I don’t look homeless! Besides, any time my hair is short people think I’m Dad and they ask me for autographs and I’m sorry but I can’t do that.”

“Also, one time when his hair was shorter a guy came up and kissed him.” Sarah added. “I was there… I laughed hysterically and dropped my ice cream cone.”

Zach gagged and pushed himself into a sitting position.

“Just trim it once a month, okay? I cannot take you to the fashion show next week looking like that.” Kurt massaged his own forehead.

“Well I cannot take you to high school graduation in three weeks with an attitude like that.” Zach shrugged.

Kurt’s eyes widened. “You have to cut your hair!”

“I don’t have to cut my hair! Oh my God!”

“Honey, you do. You really do. You really want to be a parent with hair that big? What if the baby suffocates?”

Sarah bit her lip, trying very hard not to laugh—but she didn’t know if it was at Kurt or Zach’s facial expression.

“If the baby suffocates, we’ll just get pregnant again!” Zach threw his arms in the air.

“Hey, I’m ho—” Blaine walked in and trailed off, seeing their faces. “Oh no. Just let him do what he wants with his hair, Kurt. Haircuts are very stressful when you’ve got longer curls. It kind of hurts too.”

“If he didn’t have longer curls that wouldn’t be an issue.”

“I’m not Dad!” Zach stood. “Besides, it’s the only way people can tell us apart unless they’re close enough to see Dad’s eye wrinkles.”

“Hey, that was rude. I was defending you.” Blaine pouted.

Sarah came over, hugging Blaine. “He can be very mean sometimes.”

“I know.” Blaine sighed dramatically, like he was talking to a therapist. “I just try so hard to be supportive but it’s never enough.”

“Blaine.” Kurt sighed.

“The thing is the last time I cut my hair short, you were upset until it grew back out.” Zach said exasperatedly.

“It’s true, Kurt.” Blaine said.

“It is not.” Kurt snapped.

“No, you were.” Zach protested. “You frowned every morning when you saw me and at night you’d just pet my short hair.”

Sarah looked between Zach and Kurt, amused.

“You think you want me to cut it short but you don’t. It happens every time and has since I was three. Every four years we do this, I give up and cut it off to shut you up, and you mope… and then I get sexually assaulted by people who think I’m Dad… despite the fact that nobody ever sexually assaults Dad.” Zach huffed.

“It’s all a front. They actually know it’s you.” Sarah quipped.

“Just get the hair cut!” Kurt exclaimed.

“Fine.” Zach said, grabbing his wallet off the desk. “Fine. I’ll go do it right now.”

“Thank God.” Kurt let out a sigh of relief.

“I don’t want to hear another word ever because I’m 18 now and this is the last time that you’re winning this argument. I’m only doing this to prove you wrong by the way.”

“Prove me wrong? I want you to cut it.” Kurt looked confused.

“No!” Sarah whined. “Don’t do it.”

“Oh, it’s done.” Zach walked out.

“It’s just a freaking trim.” Kurt said, still confused.

“Uh, Kurt… he’s getting more than a trim.” Blaine said slowly. “You were talking about shorter hair.”

“Yeah. He is because you pissed him off and he’s proving his point.” Sarah pouted.

“He wouldn’t cut his hair short to prove a point.” Kurt said confidently.

Blaine gave Sarah a look and she nodded in understanding because they both knew it.

…

“Told you.” Zach pointed, seeing Kurt’s face literally drop when he entered the kitchen.

“We’re the twins…” Nick said slowly, holding his fork with broccoli near his mouth. “But… you and Dad look like the twins.”

“No!” Kurt frowned.

“I told you. You want it, you want me to look like him, but you can’t handle it.” Zach said. “So here. Enjoy the barely curly curls while you can because next time, we’re going full curl afro. I’m talking that red head Olympic guy from when  you were younger curly.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” Sarah, who was sitting next to Nick at the table, tried to reason. “You told me that looks stupid.”

“Zachy…” Kurt went over, touching his barely there curls.

“I expect reimbursement too because that was the last of my gas money.” Zach held out a hand.

“Think you’ll get reimbursement in Ithaca?” Blaine joked.

“Uh, I’ll have access to my money.” Zach said. “Or you could just, you know, give it to me now since I’m eighteen and moving in August anyway.”

“Yeah, no. Sorry.”

“Grampa has a fit every time you do something to make you look more like Dad.” Nick cut in.

“Daddy’s fault.” Zach shrugged.

Nick came over and touched his short curls too. He then said, “Hey, you’ve got a birthmark over your ear.”

“You do too, Nick.” Kurt sighed. “I can’t believe you did this, Zach.”

“Yeah well you left us for six months to go to Tokyo or wherever, soooo…” Zach shrugged—which killed Kurt even more because he looked exactly like Blaine.

Honestly, Blaine and Zach spoke so differently that when Zach had longer hair it was hard to see them as looking exactly alike. Even their mannerisms were completely different—at least they seemed that way.

When Zach’s hair was shorter though, it was like looking at a younger and more soft spoken teenage Blaine. Zach did laugh a lot more than Blaine had when he was younger—and Kurt was convinced it was because he and Blaine had been such good, supportive parents.

Which made him hate Blaine’s parents even more, but that wasn’t the point.

Zach’s curls were the point.

“Zach, just so you know, you are the one that will end up making me drink. I always thought it would be Nick but you’ve completely thrown us all off.” Kurt sighed.

“Hey, I am not that bad!” Nick protested. “I can’t help that your fans love me and think I’m hilarious.”

“No regrets, just love.” Zach grinned.

“God, don’t bring Katy into this.” Nick groaned. “If I have to hear her voice one more time, I’m stabbing my ear drums out.”

“One song he won’t sing is ‘I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It.’” Sophie chirped coming in. “I still can’t believe you kissed Rachel, Daddy.”

“But you’re supposed to always have my side.” Blaine pouted.

Sophie looked between Blaine and Zach before turning to Kurt. “You had to do it, didn’t you? Can’t you just leave his poor head alone?”

“Technically I was making a point about how he really loves my curls even though he argues for me to cut them. Every time I’ve cut them short, he’s done this.” Zach shrugged as Sarah came into the room behind Sophie.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” She yelped. “You told me you’d never cut it that short!”

“I was proving a point!”

“I’m having a baby with someone who cuts off his hair to prove a point?! But your curls are my favorite!” Sarah whined, touching his head.

“I can’t win with you people.” Zach threw his hands in the air. “Bye!”

[cc-still-going-strong]

Second Chance - Klaine fanfiction

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel

Summary:

Blaine and Kurt has been happily live in their marriage for 10 years. 5 years after married at 22, they decided to adopt a child, her name is Angela. She is the perfect addition for their family.

However, after Blaine successfully win the election and become a Congressman, he is buried in works, he can’t even go home with his loves, his head is full with politics things he has no more place for his family anymore. Stressful, angry Blaine pull it out on them, instead.

Until one day, Kurt tells him something he never ever has dream about, even in his worst nightmare.

Can he makes it? Would Kurt ever give him a second chance?

=====

Blaine Anderson was having a rough time.

For the last 5 months, he had spent most of his time in his office. The promise he made for his campaign is now biting his ass back. It isn’t that he lied about that, it’s just his opponent try to mess up all of it, and won’t stop bringing it up to make his image worse.

He barely stay at home more than 6 hours a day, include his sleeping time. He became an irritating person, who get mad at everything.

Whimsically, the one at the end of his fuss most of the time is the one he loves more than anything in his life – his Kurt. And we all know Kurt, he isn’t the one who keep silent when you throwing tantrum at him… Eventually, everything is a mess! They fought everytime he was at home, or gave each other cold shoulders around Angela. He knew it was him who started it, he knew what he did was wrong right after he left the house in a rage. But he couldn’t control it. He felt so weak everytime it happened, as if he losing himself and pushing Kurt away so hard it would end badly. However, he made the same mistake again and again…

===

Blaine sighed a really long breath before opening his apartment door at 5 AM.

Kurt made him promise to get back home before 11 last night. He clearly broke it, but he was so tired to even give a thought about it, he just went into to kitchen, tried to keep himself silent as possible.

Something in the trash can caught his eyes, a square box with pink ribbon, covered in spaghetti noodles, broccoli, beef and something looked like candles. He blinked a few times, he can hear something boiling in his head, but chose to give it a go instead.

He opened the fridge, took a beer bottle and knocked it all up, took some sandwich Kurt made him this morning but he forgot to take with to work. After finished it, he got in the bedroom and found Kurt was sleeping peacefully in their bed.

Didn’t want to bother his sleep, Blaine decided to take a bath and a change of clothes before going back to his office later. He will take a nap there instead.

===

40 minutes later, Blaine stepped out of the bathroom, to his surprise, Kurt wasn’t in bed.

Blaine guessed that he is in the kitchen, a bit earlier than normal and making him and Angela some breakfast. He thought that maybe the first one in the last month they have breakfast together.

The smell of fresh coffee lured him into the kitchen, he can’t help a little smile when he saw Kurt’s tall and thin body – is he a bit… too thin compare with his memory? – standing next to the counter.

“Morning” - Kurt called him when he caught him standing next to the door. His emotionless face rang the bell in Blaine’s head. If he had a good sleep last night, he may act really different than this…

“What’s with that attitude?” – The inner thought tried to bite his own tongue right away but it was late.

Kurt took a deep breath, fidgeted with the ring in his left hand. “I didn’t know do you want a breakfast or not, so I didn’t make you anything. What do you want?” – he asked quietly, averted his eyes.

“If you make it with that kind of face, then nothing, thank you very much.” – not even in Blaine’s wildest dream that one day he would talk like this with Kurt; but something in Kurt’s attitude made him feel unsafe, attacking… he had to fight back.

He saw Kurt hands squeezing tightly, his eyes shutting, he was biting his lips so hard Blaine can see it bleeding a little, which make his heart clenched.

Before he could say anything, Kurt looked back at him, this time their eyes.

“I want to divorce”.

Blaine’s eyes widened, his stomach flipped off, he wanted to throw up.

He knew his behaviors weren’t good for the last few months, but he told Kurt the reason, he was always so supportive and understanding, what change? Why even Kurt tried to screw his life?

“I know I messed up a lot recently, but it’s because of my works, you know they are giving me a hard time. You, over all the people in this world should understand that!” – he fought back, exhausted but in rage. He had had enough with all those stress they gave him.

Kurt sighed, he looked at his left hand for a minute or two, then he took the silver ring on it, off.

“I know, I also know that you felt more tired and angry when you were home with me…” – Kurt said sadly – “And I totally understand… But it’s so hard time after time, Blaine.”

“And I don’t know since when we loving each other had became hurtful like this… I want to be the one you can’t wait to get home with, not the one you want to avoid a fight everytime you went home. I want to smile and welcome you everyday, not trying to planning how to not strangle you when I met you…” – Kurt cried.

Blaine felt his soul was sucked out of his body, he could sense that Kurt is serious here. His phone suddenly rang up, cut off what he intend to say to calm Kurt down, the ringtone was set for his office, it’s mean it was emergency. He reluctantly accepted the call, his eyes still fixed on Kurt, until something from the phone pulled his out.

“What!? A demonstration? Why?” – he screamed at the phone.

After a minute or two, Blaine fuming taking his coat and ran out.

“Blaine, we haven’t done yet!” - Kurt stopped him.

He glared at Kurt, only seeing red, why can’t his husband just dropped this bullshit thing for a minute, and leave him alone? Oh right, he is.

“You know what, Kurt. We are. We are done! I'm not have any energy to pamper you now, Kurt. Do whatever you want. Send me your divorce form or anything you want”

With that, Blaine stormed out of the apartment. Kurt standing behind, astonished but surprisingly wasn’t hurt as he had imagined.

“Papa!”

Only when an angelic voice calls him, he realized his face is covered in tears, his eyes still lingering looked at the door Blaine was left from. Quickly swept off his tears, he turned around with a tight smile.

“Good morning, honey” – his smile became brighter when he looked at his baby girl, their girl – Angela. Just like her name, she looked like an angel, with a brown curl long hair, two brighten blue eyes, combined with a porcelain skin. She is the perfect combination of Kurt and Blaine, the day they saw her, they knew it immediately that she belonged to their family.

Their used to be perfect family…

Angela tilted her little head, watching Kurt warily, took in his red eyes. She dropped her head, sadly asked.

“Daddy was home?”

“Yeah, he was home when you slept, he has to go to work early today so he can’t have breakfast with you. He said sorry” – Kurt lied without batting his eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it” – she yawned as she answered.

“Do you want to take a day off? You stayed up really late last night though I told you to stop waiting Daddy.” – Kurt asked her nervously.

“It’s okay, I love school!” she reassured Kurt.

Kurt hugged his daughter tightly before lifted her up and sit her down on her own chair. It usually sat at the head of the counter, so that Blaine and Kurt could sit by her sides. But recently it changed with Blaine's so that she and Kurt could have easier chat when they had meals together.

The breakfast slowly passed by. Kurt’s dish as usual, still half full when they left.

===

Blaine pushed his lunch box away before focused in the document in his hand again. It had been three days since that fight, Blaine hadn’t gone home yet. He stayed at his office, asked his secretary to buy him few clothes to change. He didn’t want to face Kurt.

For the last three days, everytime he tried to sleep, he would dream about the moment Kurt asked him to get divorce. He couldn’t stand the face Kurt made then. It is the first time he had ever saw Kurt’s hopeless eyes looked straight at him like that.

He regretted what he said, he regretted that he chose to run away from Kurt that day, he regretted everyday he spent in this office instead went back and apologized.

But he couldn’t move. He scared to go back and see his husband disappointed face again.

His head whipped up when he heard a few knocks on the glass door. Sebastian!

“What are you doing here?” – He asked, confusedly.

“Working” – Sebastian shrugged. He is working with Nick – who is considered Kurt and Blaine’s best friend, in the same law firm, so they sometime still chat with him a little in Nick’s party.

“I can’t see I have any business with you right now, actually”

“Divorce form, ring any bell?” – Sebastian replied with the iconic smirk of him.

Blaine’s face turned white. He did expect it will come because he could see how serious Kurt is, but he still hoping opposite.

“He hires you?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t ask Nick and I’m the only other lawyer he knows. He wants this to be private, for you.” – Sebastian said in such a neutral face, but eyed Blaine warily.

“Put it there” – Blaine pretend to be calm, he couldn’t show any sign of miserably before this man. He knew this man real target.

“I can wait until you sign it, you know” – he said meaningfully.

“Not a chance, Smythe. Back off!” – Blaine glared at him, no more pretending.

“Well, for the last few years, this time is my biggest chance, isn’t it Anderson? Thank you for that, actually!”

“Few years? You really think 10 is just a few years?” – Blaine snorted.

“I told you this at your wedding, and I gonna say it again” – Sebastian downed his torso a little, looked Blaine in the eyes. “Never forget to watch your back.”

They glared at each other, there is no smile between them as they usually showed before Kurt or Nick. They knew they both love the same guy. That has never changed.

=======

The meet with Sebastian boiled his nerve, he tried his best to finish everything on time. But it’s still 11 when he done with it.

Exhaustedly went back to his home, surprisedly to see the door still opened.

He sneaked in to see Kurt and Angela sitting in the floor, Kurt never allowed them to sit like that. He didn’t have time to call them, because Angela sweet voice raised up before him, and it struck him, hard.

“You and Daddy want to divorce?” – she asked, emotionlessly.

He heard Kurt sobbed before answered. “Yeah, I’m sorry baby”.

“But what is divorce?”

“It’s mean we won’t live in the same house again, it will be me or him move out of here.” – Kurt explained, as he hugged her and put her in his lap.

“But it won’t effect you, honey, I swear. You can live with both of us. Just… separated. You will stay with me most of school day, and with your Daddy on the weekend if he has day-offs. If he isn’t, I will take you to the park, just like normal”.

He scrubbed her hair before continued – “And you will have two houses, with two bedrooms, you can decorate it two different styles as you always want; you will have double of your toys.”

She dipped her head, thinking carefully. “So… I will live with you, and when Daddy done working he will play with me?” - Kurt nodded.

“Isn’t it just the same as always? He will just has more works and then not play with me as he used to” – She sadly said. And that clenched Blaine’s heart. Since when his impression in her had changed into such a horrible man.

“He won’t, dear. He loves you so much, when he done with… this problem, he will run to you right away.” – Kurt reassured his lovely kid.

“But if nothing change, then why do you have to divorce?” – She asked.

Kurt looked deep into her eyes, he felt his tear is building up.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m a selfish father. That is… for me.” – he said as he squeezed her tightly.

Angela confused for a moment. Her eyebrows furrowed. But then, suddenly, she was beaming when she found out what it mean.

“I know! If you and Daddy aren’t live together, then you don’t have to stay up late to wait for him anymore! Just as your birthday three days ago!”

Blaine shocked… He forgot. He had no ideas that was Kurt’s birthday. And it’s broke his heart. It wasn’t just a birthday, it was a sign that Blaine had pushed his loves away. Before he could recover from the shock. He heard Angela continued.

“And you don’t have to throw away the food you cooked all afternoon. You always tell me not to left my food, but since Daddy didn’t come home and eat with you, you throw away your own food, too. It wasn’t good, Papa”

“Yes, dear. It wasn’t good. Papa will stop, sorry.” He really surprised that she knew about all of that. But he didn’t know, she comprehended more than that.

“And you won’t have to cry every night because of Daddy anymore” – She said with tear rolling down her cheeks.

“How do you know that?” – Kurt didn’t deny, he cried almost every night; cried or worked his ass off is the only ways he could help him sleep without Blaine recently.

“I heard you sobbing sometime, I don’t like it Papa, I don’t want to see you cry” – she throwed her arms around Kurt’s neck, hugged him closely.

“If divorce Daddy make you happy again, I don’t mind” – She said sadly. “I can tie my shoe now, I can color my own drawing, I will do my math homework alone, I will learn to sing along Disney movies by myself, I will stop waiting for him to come to my school plays and I won’t ask you constantly to bring him there. I won’t need to live with Daddy, I’m used to it already. I can take care of myself, Papa”

She said it slowly, didn’t realize Kurt’s was full with tears. And both of them didn’t know Blaine was crying his heart out outside the door.

“Do you hate him, angel?” – Kurt asked her after a few minutes. Blaine scared to hear her answer, but he knew he also wanted to know.

“No” – She answered determinedly. “I’ll always love Daddy, he is a wonderful dad, you always say that”

She paused a little, warily judging Kurt. “Do you, Papa? Do you hate him?”.

The silence was killing Blaine, he was more than terrified to hear his husband words.

“Never. I’d never hate him. I love him too much for that” – He smiled at her, and she grinned back, happily knew that Papa wasn’t hate Daddy, after all those crying nights or fights.

Blaine closed his eyes, absorbed what Kurt said. He was so lucky to have him in his life. And then he heard Kurt whispered something, barely caught it.

“That’s why it hurt so much”

After set Angela back to her bed, Kurt swept his tears away, slowly observed everything, to remember what did he do before Angela interrupted him because of her nightmare and then they did the talk.

He looked at the door. It still didn’t locked after he went out to throwing garbage and got back.

He stepped into the door, a silhouette caught his eyes. It’s Blaine.

“What are you doing out here? It’s cold, let go inside!” – Kurt silently screamed.

Blaine looked up at his beautiful husband, with a tearful face. Regret poured out of his eyes.

“Can I really go home, Kurt?” – He asked.

Kurt looked at him confused. “You heard that?” – Kurt realized through all the tears and sadness of his husband.

Blaine sat up on his knees. He hugged Kurt waist, his head buried in Kurt’s hip.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Kurt!” – he apologized.

“It wasn’t all your fault, Blaine. It was mine, too” – Kurt spoke above as he rubbed Blaine’s hair. “I know you have a lot of things put on your shoulders now, Blaine. I know I should help you share it. But…”

Kurt sobbed. “It’s hard, Blaine. I felt like everytime we met, we prepared to start another World War. I was starting to hope you won’t go home; I scared everytime I received your call, worried that I would fight with you again, and I did!”

“I don’t want us to be like that forever. I don’t want everything we have together, all turn into hatred! Let’s divorce, Blaine” – Kurt said.

“No, Kurt. I’m still love you. Please don’t end us.” – Blaine begging. “I was so, so, so stupid! I will never ever hurt you again, Kurt. Please, give me a second chance. A chance that you love me again.”

“Blaine…stop…”

“I swear, I will never be late again, I won’t forget any anniversaries again, I will kick myself if I ever hurt you like this again.” – Blaine was miserable. But he knew, if he let Kurt go away, he will be more miserable than this.

He will lose the love of his life… his family… his home… his Kurt…

The thought of losing Kurt kicked in, Blaine tighten his arms, refused to let go.

“Blaine…”

========

Three months later

“Angela! Are you waiting for your Papa?” – A girl around 7 years old, asked.

“No, Bella, today is Friday, so I’m waiting for my Daddy” – Angela answered her best friend.

Her name was called from behind, she turned her head, beaming to see his Daddy standing next to the school gate with a bag of her favorite muffins and another small paper bag.

She waved good bye with Bella before running into her father’s arms.

Blaine picked her up with one arm. “How is my princess?”.

She giggled before kissing his cheeks. “Wonderful! Today I learn to make paper flowers! And I got an A for Maths”.

“My angel is so smart, just as your Papa!” – Blaine beaming.

“Can we go visit Papa before we go home? I want to show him my A!” – Angela begged.

Blaine pretended to be thinking hard, amused watching his baby girl slowly pouted.

He used his index fingers to lift her mouth, made she laughed.

“Of course, darling!” – He said as he fastened her seatbelt.

They drove to Kurt’s theater, he just got a supporting role for a musical. He had to rehearsal everyday, with extra times on weekend; so that Blaine took charge of picking Angela every Friday.

Blaine suppress his laugh when Angela ran up to the stage and sneaked behind his Papa, and with a really surprise jump, she was hanging on his shoulder, laughing happily.

“Angela?!” – Kurt squeaked. “You scared me, honey!”

“Sorry, babe. I saw you guys are taking a break so I told her it was fine” – Blaine stepped up, gave Kurt the paper bag. It is coffee and a cupcake.

“Thanks, babe” – Kurt smiled and sighed happily when he took the coffee out immediately.

Angela held his fathers’ hands, gleefully; silently smiling at them when they talked.

“When will you be home, Papa?” – She asked when they had to leave.

“Soon, honey, around 8? What would you want for dessert? I will buy one when I get home.” – he ran his hand around her back.

“Cronuts! Daddy love cronuts!”

Both Blaine and Kurt looked at her, smiling merrily. She always thought about her fathers first.

“Okay honey, cronuts and strawberry tact, how about it?” – Kurt offered.

Angela nodded enthusiastically while waving goodbye Kurt’s crew.

Blaine sighed mirthfully at Angela ran around the living room, sang along with Ariel on the TV.

He can’t believe he almost lost all of this.

No, they didn’t divorce. But Blaine did sign the divorce form. He signed it as well as a list full of their properties and gave it to Kurt. As an insurance that Kurt can end this anytime he wants. Blaine knew he broke a lot of promises between them, he broke Kurt’s unconditional trust in him. He had to regain it a little bit everyday.

Everyday, after work, he would check his “Marital status” on his computer. To made sure Kurt didn’t send it in. For the first few days, he did it with terrified, scaring to lose his heaven. But later, it became an wonderful feeling, when he saw the simple sentence “Married to Kurt Hummel – Anderson”.

Yes, he’s married to Kurt Hummel-Anderson!

“Papa!” – Angela’s voice brought him back.

Kurt smiling when he stepped inside with a bag of dessert.

“I’m home, honey; babe!” – He said when looked at his daughter and husband.

“Welcome home, babe!” – Blaine smiling, loved the feel of those words slip out of his mouth.

And he wouldn’t change it for the world.

[glasskey]

The Boston Globe Episodes

Today I’m going to talk about The Boston Globe episode and how it paved the way for Nick, June and Holly’s journey. The Boston Globe episode is a powerful statement about the break down of truth in the face of dictatorships, and the threat of it in current political climates. In regards to the future of these characters, the episodes featuring the Boston Globe are extremely pivotal.

It’s telling that Nick and June spend the first 3 months of their babies life together at the now haunted and abandoned Boston Globe. Its the place where knowledge and truth once flowed and it’s where we truly begin to see how Holly is used as a vehicle to tell a larger tale. Here the printing presses are all painted in handmaids red, nooses hand from the rafters and bullet holes punctuate the walls like the final word in the resistance. It’s no coincidence that Holly undergoes her most formative months in this broken down home of free knowledge and information, as she will be fundamental to the restoration of democracy to her country.

It’s also the place where Nick and June begin to truly fall in love with one another. Nick and June have sex, at last unrestrained by the boundaries of the Waterford household, and there’s a lustful abandonment to it bred by years of captivity. We’re finally given a glimpse into their somewhat free life away from Gilead. Blaine’s always been somewhat of an enigma, stoic, dutiful and domesticated. But here in the semi free world we see the layers are almost instantly stripped away, he becomes immediately emotional and vulnerable….years of service have suffocated him.

These are their child’s most developmental months and it is the most formative moments of their relationship, where their feelings grow into a lasting bond. By the time she returns to the Waterfords, their child is well on its way to being fully formed, just as is her relationship with Nick. By the time their child is born, their bond will be forged and they will love each other entirely. It’s no coincidence that when Nick is married off to Eden, June almost miscarries.

June wanders around the secret location dressed in Blaine’s clothes, she’s in her first trimester, she’s wearing the t shirt she took off him the first night they were together and very possibly the night they conceived Holly. His clothes act like some kind of personal shield, it’s the best he can do in his absence. Later as she makes the Globe her home, she jogs between the small cities of presses to a shrine she has erected, an assortment of mementos and photographs from the surrounding desks. Just like the Handmaids letters, she intends to keep their stories alive, their voices heard.

Upstairs she gathers old editions and pieces together the story of the The Sons of Jacob and their rise to power. As Holly grows in her womb, rebellion grows in her heart and June returns to the Waterfords with a crystalized intent to destroy Gilead. Nick looks at the wall of clippings reconstructing his past and begins to truly understand, this is the moment when Blaine’s loyalties truly turned. He tries to convince her to go, he’s understandably worried about her future and the future of his unborn child….he should be, it’s a girl.

The two share a morning cup of coffee and there’s the facade of a normalcy as we get a glimpse of Nick and June as a couple in the real world. “If I wake you then you leave, how is that a win for me?” She asks him. Atwood’s text describes June as no longer wanting to leave Nick, June’s caught in a dream from which she no longer wishes to wake. The rare moment of domesticity in this moment is so brief, but overflowing with contentment. Just a flash and then it’s gone, like all the other precious moments of peace these two get.

[raisethemup]

I’m your man.

Words: 2k+ | Relationship: Nick Blaine/June/Offred | Rating: M (language/suggestive themes) |

The door slammed behind him.

Goddamn, she was the most fucking stubborn woman he had ever met. She was in the window watching him as he jogged down the steps, a frigid wind kicking up, snow tonight, 4 to 6 inches. He would need to shovel these damn steps tomorrow, but that was the least of his worries right now. Right now he desperately wanted a smoke and of course his pack was empty, crushing it in his hand and shoving it in his coat pocket he looked up to see exhaust fog swirling around the waiting car, the driver Ray rolled down the window asking “where to?” Trying not to glare at the guy assigned to him Nick bit down his frustration answering flatly that he wanted to walk and Ray should go home for the night. Turning away towards the only mini mart that he knew would be open he shoved his hands in his pockets. He shouldn’t have slammed out that way, it wasn’t going to help the situation to let his temper get the better of him.

Her crazy usually intrigued him, he loved watching her get all wound up and excited, it always seemed to him that her eyes got more blue, he found it fascinating, but then he found everything about her fascinating, always had since the minute he laid eyes on her. Her passion carried over into everything she did...everything, and he wouldn’t change that for the world but this seemed different. The last month or so she had been off the rails erratic, little things that he did would suddenly bother her and she would lash out. The mood swings were giving him whiplash, the upside was that the make up sex was fucking fantastic, although sex between them was always phenomenal, and frequent. He would look up to find her studying him and seconds later she was all over him, they were all over each other, it was thrilling. He had started to worry though that his dick was going to fall off trying to keep up with her, the door had barely closed behind her tonight before she had his pants open and his cock in her mouth, just to be clear that wasn’t a complaint, he had ended up with her straddling him, on the kitchen chair, scratches down his back, orgasms everywhere.

Then she cried.

He couldn’t get a handle on it, couldn’t figure out what was bothering her, what she needed, what he could do for her, get for her, give to her. He knew June, he watched June, it was one of the greatest joys of his life to watch her. She fascinated him physically and mentally. He was an analytical guy, kept his thoughts to himself unless she pulled them out of him. “Talk to me Nick,”  she would plead her blue, blue eyes dripping with empathy and love and want, and he couldn’t refuse her, then he would do his best to voice whatever had been rolling around in his head.  

This time though he had been the one to ask, her legs straddling him, sweat still cooling on his forehead, trailing his fingertips up and down the smooth skin on her back,  her head turned and tucked in on his shoulder, tears sliding down his chest. He was baffled, shifting her and tilting her face to meet his eyes.

“Talk to me June,” he urged, cradling her face with both hands and wiping away her tears with his thumbs, “June, baby, what’s wrong, tell me?”  

She had gone ballistic. Wrenching herself off of him and stumbling away locking the door behind her.

They had been married for a year and a half, a crazy 18 months. He had fought like hell and gotten her out of Gilead while he stayed back working nonstop to be able to finally bring Hannah home to June. Word of his successful spy game maneuvering against Gilead had spread and the struggling but true US government had quickly offered him a lucrative and high profile job, the position had allowed him opportunities and insider information instrumental for he and June to rescue Holly. So life as a married man had given him everything, two children, a beautiful wife that he loved with all of his heart, a job that allowed him rise to a position high enough to make a difference fighting the continuing clusterfuck evils of Gilead and the power to help put every sick motherfucker like Fred and Serena Waterford behind bars for life.

Feeling his phone buzz he stopped walking to pull it out of his pocket, over the screen saver photo of June, Holly and Hannah sitting on the sand on the beach, was a text from Mrs. Blaine, “I’m sorry. I love you. Come home.” He had never asked her to take his last name and he had never expected her, totally her decision and fuck he never got tired of seeing the words Mrs. Blaine, he didn’t care if it made him a pussy that his eyes teared up almost every time he looked at that photo of his family.

It wasn’t June’s job bothering her, she had gotten herself a position part-time working for the government writing and editing new laws and procedures, she was making a difference and she glowed with pride and excitement when she recounted her days to him.

Hannah was happy and healthy, sure she was entering the pre-teen years and could be a handful at times recently but that seemed to be a fairly normal life passage for both parent and child, and given what she had been through in her young life he and June had agreed many times that some attitude and push back was healthy.

Holly was thriving, fair and blue-eyed like June but with a head of dark curly hair like his, a happy easy going child, where Hannah was always a bundle of activity Holly could be content to sit on his or June’s lap and observe. He hoped he hadn’t woken either one of the girls when he had slammed the door on his way out.

Luke couldn’t be the problem, he was miles away apparently happy in a new relationship which June was thrilled about but, and while he agreed that Luke moving on was a damn good thing, he was more than a little freaked out that the new woman looked a bit like June to him. For Hannah’s sake he always tried to go with the flow when it came to Luke, but frankly, he would never understand the guy. Who the fuck leaves their woman in that fucking nightmare of a shitshow and makes no move whatsoever to help them, rescue them or get them out.  He realized it was asshole-ish of him to refer to June as his woman, but it was what it was, there would never be anyone else for him and God willing there would only ever be him for her.

That being said he should just get his ass home and get this situation resolved with her. Fuck the cigarettes, June would always know if he had been smoking because she smelled his clothes, he had more than once walked in on her smelling his coat or pillow or sweater. When he teased her about it she would try to turn it around by chiding him about his frequent I-really-need-to-quit comments. He really should quit, for her, for the girls, for him. If she asked him to quit he would in a heartbeat, God knows that June had been through enough in her life, he would give her anything and everything she wanted even if she didn’t voice that she needed it or wanted it. Their house was large, their lifestyle comfortable, did they need a big house, no but he was damn proud that this government salary allowed him to provide that for her, whatever school she wanted for Hannah, he wanted too and made it happen. June had been through enough, struggled and fought enough, he wanted life to be easy for her for her now and always.

-----------------------------------

Stepping quietly into their foyer he closed the door behind him, the few lights left on were dimmed casting a warm glow on the school books and toys cluttering their coffee table, stepping over the gym shoes and little pink dress up cowboy boots strewn haphazardly on the floor he headed into the girl's bedroom. Hannah’s dark head peeked out from under her duvet. He smirked at her.

“Hey Han, you know she’s gonna nail you for having that thing on after  bedtime.”

“Nickkkkk, I’ll turn it off, please don’t tell her, pleaseeeee?”

Nick raised his eyebrows at her enjoying the lighthearted pleading.

“No Nick not the eyebrow raise, nooo.”

He chuckled, leaning forward to pry the Ipad out of her hands and setting it on her nightstand.

“Nick?”

“Yeah Han?”

“Why is mom mad at you?”

“I don’t know but I’m going to find out, we’ll talk it through and everything will be good.”

“What if she doesn’t stop being mad? You won’t...leave will you?”

It fucking gutted him every time, the effect of Gilead had left on her.

“Hannah, look at me, I love your mom more than anything in this world, and you, and Holly. I will never leave her. No one will ever take me from her or her from me. And nobody will ever take you away from us, ever. You are safe. I will always keep you safe.”

He leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead where the small worry lines had smoothed out.

“Night Han, love you.”

“Night Nick, love you too.”

Crossing the room Nick eased himself down on the edge of Holly’s twin bed, she was a hot sleeper, always warm and kicking the blankets off, he straightened them out folding them down to her waist, her thumb was resting in her open mouth, both he and June had heard many times from many people that they shouldn’t allow this, that they should force her to quit. They just couldn’t bring themselves to do it and had agreed that eventually, she would give it up on her own, but he gently pulled her thumb out of her open mouth and stroked her dark curly hair back from her soft sweaty forehead. He breathed in her sweet little girl scent leaning over to kiss her, whispering, “Sweet dreams, Holly Go Lightly.“

-------------------

Walking into their bedroom he found June in bed turned on her side away from him surrounded by pillows, many pillows. It was a king size bed...with eight pillows, he never understood the need for all the pillows when you only needed one for each head and it was a pain in the ass to line them all up exactly the way June wanted, but all things considered, they were only pillows. Although right now those were pillows keeping his wife from him.

“June?”

No answer.

“Are you okay”

No answer.

So fucking stubborn, he knew she wasn’t asleep, toeing off his shoes and undressed down to only his black boxer briefs he crossed to the other side of the bed crouching down in front of her. Reaching out he pushed a lock of hair back off of her face, then rested his hand to stroke his thumb over her cheek, her eyelashes were wet.  She took a deep shuddery breath and opened her eyes, he kept his voice low and calm.

“June, what is it? Talk to me June?

Finally, her hand shifted out from under the duvet stopping over his heart, then her fingertips skimmed back and forth. She had confessed to him once that she liked to feel his heart beating, that it beat for her and hers for him. He watched her silently waiting to see if she would say anything. His heart ached as her eyes welled with tears and a few spilled over.

“I love you so much Nick,” she whispered sliding her hand up higher to stroke it over his late night dark stubble.

“June, what the fuck, you’re scaring me, are you sick? Is it Hannah, Holly, is something wrong, are they okay?” Although his voice was still low the words came out more urgently.

Nudging her over, he climbed onto their bed and positioned her sideways onto his lap, cradling her in his arms, his head resting on top of hers. He tightened his arms around her.

“Enough June, tell me now, I can take it. Whatever it is I’ll fix it and make it right.”

He heard her sucking in a breath and steeled himself for whatever she was about to say.

“I’m pregnant.”

His heart stopped, time stopped, the world stopped, his arms dropped away from her.

“Are you mad Nick?”

He heard her voice but his mind was racing through nine months, nine months of seeing, touching, feeling June every day, whenever he wanted, feeling June pregnant with his baby. Touching her silky hair and feeling it get thicker, being able to see her body change, getting rounder, lying in bed with her every night, his hand on her belly with their baby growing in her. Sliding inside of her warm, wet heat, and making love to her with their baby cocooned safely between them. Taking her to the doctor to hear the heartbeat, watching her breastfeed...

“Nick, talk to me, you are mad aren’t you? Nick?”

He blinked looking down into her eyes, the same blue eyes he saw in Hannah’s face, in Holly’s face.

“I’m sorry, I think that’s what’s been making me so emotionally crazy. I, I just, I must have forgotten to take a pill or didn’t take it at the right time or it was the antibiotics I took. I took a pregnancy test, during lunch today and I wanted to, to...

“June.”

I wanted to tell you right away but we’ve never talked about having more kids. I was afraid to tell you, I just...

“June, stop. Stop...”

“Nick, I”

He dropped his head resting it on her shoulder. Thank God, thank God, there was nothing wrong, everyone was okay, sucking in a breath he wrapped one hand around her neck and wiped her tears away with the other. Tipping her head up and resting his forehead on hers his lips close enough to breathe in her breath he murmured in a husky voice “June, I’m thrilled we made another baby. It doesn’t matter how it happened. You want five more kids, throw away the pills and we’ll have five more, you don’t want anymore after this that’s fine too. Whatever you want June, that’s what I want you to have.

She leaned away from him, scrambling around to straddle him, her hands sliding up to grab his biceps her blue eyes spilling over again with tears locked onto his.

“This time we’ll do it all together right, we won’t have to be separated, or hide it, no one will be able to take our baby away. or keep us apart?”

She leaned forward her entire body resting against him, nuzzling her face into his neck kissing and licking.

“That’s right June, you’re safe here, I’ll keep you safe.”

She was squirming around in his lap, her tongue sliding into his mouth and he felt himself getting hard, her hand sliding down his chest and into his boxers, he grabbed her hand stilling it.

“June?”

“Hmm?”

“Is this we’re having a baby sex or makeup sex?”

He released her hand and sucked in a breath as she slid it down the length of him.

“First it’s we’re having a baby sex, then we’ll have makeup sex.”

Her hand drew slowly back up and his head tipped back as his eyes closed.

“Fuck June, it’s been a long day and you’ve put me through an emotional roller coaster, I don’t know if I can...”

She knelt up resting her hands on his shoulders and slowly lowered herself down onto him.

“Try.”

[howlljenkins]

Where We Go From Here

Nick x June centric multi-chapter fic: June and Nick finally make their escape from Gilead with Hannah in tow but things don't go quite to plan. In the months that follow June is forced to confront the fact that she is no longer the same person she was pre-Gilead.

Chapter 1: Escape

Hannah and I huddle beneath a blanket tossed over us on the floor of the backseat of the SUV while Nick argues with the guard at the final checkpoint before the No Man’s land that separates Gilead territory from Canadian.

“I'm sorry, sir,” the stocky blond guard is saying. “But our orders were explicit: I’m not to let anyone through until the missing Handmaid is found.”

I peak out from under the corner of the blanket. I can see a sliver of Nick’s face between the edge of his seat and the car window. His expression is dark with rage, only part of which is an act.

“You think I don't know that?” Nick snarls. “The missing Handmaid is from my house.” He tells the guard the story we prepared on our way to the border. That I kidnapped Hannah from Commander Mackenzie’s house earlier that day. That I stole the vehicle a careless Guardian left idling in front of the house. That the same vehicle was found empty a few miles back and they are now moving under the assumption that Hannah and I are attempting to flee to Canada on foot. “If you let me through now we might still catch her,” Nick says. “Or would you rather be the guy who let a high ranking Commander’s Handmaid get away?”

Read on AO3

The guard pales, licks his lips. Sensing weakness, Nick presses further. “What's your name, Guardian? Waterford will want to know the name of the man responsible for losing him his Handmaid. As will Commander Mackenzie.”

I can see the wheels turning in the guard’s head. After what seems like an eternity but can’t be more than a few seconds he comes to a conclusion. “That won't be necessary, Guardian Blaine. Of course I’ll do whatever I can to aid the bitch’s capture.” He gives Nick a strained smile. “Give her a slap for me when you catch her, eh?”

Nick’s voice is cold. “The Handmaid’s punishment will be up to the Commanders and God. Now if you’re done delaying me I would appreciate if you opened the gate so I can get on with my assignment.”

The color flees the man’s face. “Of course. I didn't mean- I would never presume- Let me just open it for you.” He slams a button on the control panel in front of him and slowly, so slowly the gate begins to swing open.

I can hardly breathe. It’s happening. We’re getting out. Just a few more seconds. Just a few-

A staticky voice crackles through the guard’s radio.

Shoot on sight order issued for Guardian Nicholas Blaine. Medium height, dark hair, dark eyes. Blaine is believed to be abetting the escape of a missing Handmaid and a kidnapped child. I repeat: shoot on sight order issued for Nicholas Blaine-”

For a second the two men stare at each other. Then the guard grabs his gun from its holster as he snatches up the radio with his other hand and shrieks, “He’s here! Blaine is here! I have him-”

The rest of his words are lost as Nick slams his foot on the gas. The car lunges forward as the guard raises his weapon. Gun fire shatters the back window and Hannah shrieks as glass rains down on our heads. I clutch Hannah to my chest, covering her body with my mine.

Then we’re at the gate. The car crashes into it and the wire and metal structure crumples like aluminum foil beneath the Mercedes’ wheels as a second barrage of gunfire peppers the back of the vehicle.

There’s a popping sound and Nick swears as the car swerves violently, one of the back wheels blown out by a bullet. Part of the gate is stuck to the grill of the car, dragged along like Hector’s body behind Achilles’ chariot. Despite this, the car continues hurtling forward. I chance glancing behind us through the shattered window. The guard is standing outside the guard house, gun raised, still shooting but it’s too late, we’re out of his range, roaring across No Man’s land, out of Gilead, toward freedom.

I let out a strangled laugh. We did it. We’re out. We’re free.

“Mommy,” Hannah whimpers.

I look down. Wide-eyed, Hannah holds up a hand. Her small palm is covered in blood. The laughter turns to ash in my mouth.

“Nick!” I can barely form words through the terror racing through me. My hands fly across Hannah’s body searching for a bullet hole, a gash caused by exploding glass but I can’t find one and my panic grows. "Nick, she’s hurt!" Fuck. Fuck! "Banana, can you tell me where it hurts? Show mommy where it hurts, baby.”

Hannah shakes her head slowly and points at my abdomen.

I look down. The front of my dress is a deeper crimson than the rest. A sudden cold overtakes me as I watch the garish stain spread across my torso. Black dots appear at the corners of my eyes. The dots grow, racing across my vision like spilled ink. My fingers shake as I press them to my stomach. They come away red.

The blood isn’t Hannah’s; it’s mine.

“Oh,” I say.

The last thing I see before the darkness takes me is my daughter’s terrified face hovering over me.

Then all goes black.

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,785

172 days until I hit my thirties.

So. An assortment of 172 good memories from my twenties.

001. Addey hype mumbo jumbo singing along with Moana before she was really talking.

002. Being asked to say the big thank you at SOE graduation.

003. Isaac’s face when he peeked at Omar’s new shoes at the East Towne Starbucks.

004. Drinking Mike’s honey moonshine while we played Euchre in his starry cicada humming backyard.

005. Taking Mama on the water taxi rides when she visited me in Chicago.

006. Grandma Kathy calling me, “My pink haired granddaughter.”

007. Sneaking into camp with the Hines girls to write up collaboration glass bottle poems in the Prayer Chapel.

008. The slow and steady hike up to the Hollywood sign.

009. The night I kidnapped Mini Farm kittens to snuggle for a movie and accidentally left the gate open releasing the rest to the Wisconsin wild.

010. Sunday afternoon sipping Stella Artois in the perfect sunny front room of our Albany Park apartment.

011. Zoë giving me all her wallet cash so I could buy bare minimum groceries.

012. Taking turns reading The History of Love aloud in our Winter Staff Forest Springs apartment.

013. The Halloween/Hillside round of Murder in the Dark with All Stars only.

014. Acting a fool in the unfinished Lodge room filled from floor to ceiling with Tempur-Pedic mattresses.

015. Doug lounging in the giant crate of laundry bags in the laundry room.

016. GUBS INSIDE JOKES.

017. St. Patrick’s Day 2021, hahaha.

018.  Beyoncé: Lemonade in the empty downstairs apartment with Mary.

019. Accidentally getting kayak drunk from a backpack bottle of Ménage à Trois.

020. Daylight skinny dipping with Amber to inaugurate the new pool.

021. The perfect stray cat that came around the second half of 2018.

022. Renate being the first to cry with me post breakup. Bill supplying sparkling water to prevent dehydration.

023. Doing drag makeup in Bekah’s bathroom while her and Marissa giggled at each other in the tub.

024. Every kitchen island conversation I’ve ever had with Steve Hines.

025. The perfect colors the night we snuck up on the helicopter landing pad on that Dallas hotel.

026. FACILITATING THAT SAME WEEKEND’S GAME OF ASSASSIN, BEFORE IT GOT UGLY.

027. Becoming buddies with all four Williams brothers.

028. When Mercy told me I’m her favorite Williams brother.

029. Hahaha the Camp Clean Up I put Elliot on my crew for my own amusement and told him his only responsibility was to walk around with me the whole time.

030. The time Blaine and I were avoiding the long lunch line together and Nimanim was like, “Wait so this is like an actual friendship huh?”

031. Tanner enthusiastically reenacting Gandalf’s YOU SHALL NOT PASS as I came up the path.

032. Will realizing I’d Facebook stalked him without sending a friend request.

033. Magically finding Pop Rocks the morning of my perfect 22nd birthday.

034. My perfect 26th birthday weekend in Minneapolis with my dreamy local girl gang.

035. Tauri’s blossoms on the Sky Lodge trees in the spring.

036. Encountering and becoming completely enthralled by the Enneagram.

037. OLIVIA FUCKING GATWOOD APPRECIATING MY PINK HAIR.

038. Clementine von Radic writing that Greyhound always loses her luggage too.

039. My stretch of obsession with Hemingway’s love interests.

040. Becoming friends with Fat Boy Tucker pup.

041. Becoming friends with rescued best dog Star girl.

042. The night Doug was my ride from the airport and he pulled his truck over so we could take a good look at the gigantic moon.

043. That hilarious flirtatious moonlight wander of the horse trails with Omar and Edith and Caleb.

044. Jake Nelson giving me a surprise scoop of chocolate custard as a peace offering after his grumpy bedtime attitude.

045. THE DISCOVERY AND CAPTIVATION OF HADESTOWN.

046. Getting to have Alia in every day for a while there.

047. Les Mis at Overture Center because Ally bought our family tickets.

048. Pat Coakley telling me I don’t know how special I am.

049. Spit handshake with Janelle swearing we’ll never think any boys are cooler than we are.

050. Marissa picking me up without explanation to take us on a quiet sunset drive of her favorite county road.

051. Jayden imagination playing with Blue, Guy, and a motorcycle for a whole night then waking me up with them the next morning.

052. Genevieve asking to borrow my lavender romper for her rehearsal dinner.

053. Getting to be Cali’s sidekick the week leading up to her wedding extravaganza.

054. Houston YMCA hallway phone call from Justin’s dorm room asking me clarify which of the boys was Nick, Schmidt, and Winston.

055. The absolutely ludicrous old woman I got drunk with in the Amtrak dining car.

056. The absolute ludicrous glass skull light up cocktail I drank at Freehand’s hotel bar.

057. When Dan Hartke told me I’m a mother hen.

058. When the most beautiful Sora from Korea told me, “You always flowers.”

059. Hannah’s hand me down Steve Madden sandals.

060. Runaway trips with Amber Bamber to watch Shakespeare in the woods.

061. Storytelling with Jack Thomas.

062. Drunk bar darts after Corn Fest with Marissa’s gang.

063. Leaving the reception with Emmy to go curl up in Amber’s bed and giggle about how it was the last place she slept as a virgin.

064. The night Riana and Zoe and I took turns putting our heads out the car windows to howl like wolves.

065. Falling asleep on the couch with Zelina and Chelle beer buzzed watching Jersey Shore.

066. That perfect little basement Thai place a couple blocks from Emmy’s apartment dorm.

067. When Dan forced me to get out of his car and left because I’d annoyed him too hard on our library trip.

068. Vicki suggesting we go live together overseas.

069. Depop photoshoot with Taurilyn.

070. Mykenza bluntly declaring true things I couldn’t confirm or deny.

071. Norm announcing to the full room he was teaching that I was a rascal.

072. Zochella.

073. Noah Gundersen and Brett Dennen at The Majestic.

074. Every damn time we ate beautiful food at High Rock Cafe.

075. The nights I felt capable at TOCHI.

076. LENA DUNHAM’S GIRLS.

077. Jordan suddenly ballroom dancing Genevieve around the kitchen.

078. Staying up late crying to my mom about trying to take good care of the lesbian teenagers at Sky Lodge.

079. The night Caleb very suddenly showed up with a bowl of sangria then tried to leave a dozen times but we convinced him to stay.

080. Rachel swearing that the man in the Wrigleyville bookshop had love at first sighted me.

081. Making the list of how many musicals I’ve been affected by.

082. Discovering weirdo La Llamada then driving straight to Carlsons’s to immediately watch it again with them.

083. Writing heartfelt correspondence back and forth with Kat for a few years.

084. All the funky cards I’ve received from Amber.

085. Finding that PERFECT dress at Goodwill for Tauri’s Winter Ball.

086. An actual friendship with Paul Bierdeman.

087. COUNSELOR MEETINGS.

088. The night Emily Holverson and I stood outside the Lodge trading sincerity about Sky Lodge and the complications of ministry.

089. Blunt conversations with Josiah, hahaha.

090. The Lower Lakeview round of Murder in the Dark when I killed every single person playing before anyone could call, “Dead body!”

091. When I suddenly caught him listening to my singing in the tunnel.

092. Putting together outfits from Lolita’s wardrobe.

093. Driving into such an unexpectedly lush part of Missouri.

094. A nighttime surprise of Big Ben and The London Eye and Buckingham Palace and St James Park in the falling snow.

095. MY PERFECT ABODE IN ST. LOUIS, MO.

096. OUR PERFECT ABODE IN ALBUQUERQUE, NM.

097. Becoming one of Steve’s best friends.

098. The evening Elorine and I didn’t go with and REALLY talked.

099. THE UNDENIABLE INHERENT GOODNESS OF MERRY’S KIDS.

100. Farrell’s crying apology on the sidewalk outside of Maple.

101. Alex’s irregular sudden extreme compliments.

102. The females I’m close with over the internet due to mutual admiration.

103. Lars from Hinge, hahaha.

104. Sitting at the end of a long table with Janelle making a napkin list of our all time favorite manic pixie dream girls.

105. The handful of LotR marathons we’ve accomplished.

106. When Kat told me she understood the Harry Styles crush but that maybe he wasn’t right for me.

107. Reading so many Donald Miller books and getting others to read them too.

108. Kisses on the cheek from Esther.

109. Getting raspberries for Mike’s turtles as an apology for making death threats.

110. Tipsy dancing alone with my eyes closed for like a hundred songs at Sheryl’s Club on New Years 2021.

111. The flattering comparison to the wonderful Harley Duke.

112. Aw omg, our happy hammock stacks at Observatory Hill. 

113. Telling slumber party stories on stage for Women’s Retreat.

114. BEING THE MIME FOR LIFE GROUP’S FAVORITE.

115. Fatigued watching The Kissing Booth and laughing harder than ever.

116. Spastic goofing around with Ashley AND Brittany the day we moved Amber into her new home.

117. Sitting on my closet floor showing crying Riana baby videos of singing piano playing Janelle.

118. Giggle running through Piggly Wiggly parking lot at closing with Rene with like $400 of alcohol on Ally’s birthday.

119. Fireball shots ALL NIGHT with Jeremiah and his uncle on Christmas Eve.

120. Listening to the delicious details of Emmy’s Europe romance.

121. Zion giving me his Adidas crewneck as sentimental goodbye gift.

122. Arguing with Austin over our differing zombie apocalypse ideologies.

123. Drunk Discord/Among Us with Hunter and Bekah and Nick and Marissa.

124. How soft Kenny’s absurd speeches made my heart.

125. MINUTE LONG VOICE MEMOS STACKS WITH ROSIE. ♡♡

126. Listening to Lizzy McAlpine in an afternoon candlelight bath.

127. Listening through John Mayer’s The Search for Everything mowing the ball field.

128. Emotionally painting my old house in Birmingham.

129. Being really damn good at that Heads Up game with Omar.

130. Compiling worthwhile stuff for Foreman training.

131. GROWING MY PLANTS.

132. The stretch when Bryanna was usually wrapped in my blanket.

133. Talking about going to Colorado with Alex.

134. The notorious reputation of knowing everybody at CCCA.

135. GETTING ALL DRESSED UP FOR DINNER THEATER.

136. Calling Ally from a parking lot at Emmy’s bachelorette party because I was SO CONFIDENT I was a hot person that I had to talk to her about it.

137. Playing the stupidest laughingest game of The Floor Is Lava with Jackson when I came to visit them all in Dallas.

138. Feeling really really really at home in my apartment at Sky Lodge.

139. How Ryan Boon would struggle to talk through his laughter.

140. Belonging to myself at Fiddleheads Coffee in Cedarburg.

141. THE UNDENIABLE IMMEDIATE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN ME AND COURTNEY HART.

142. Big Falls County Park. Every time.

143. Kayaking down Blue River with Duke, Jeremiah and Addey, Hunter, and Hunter’s friend.

144. That perfect burger at Pier Burger in Santa Monica.

145. Riding The Brown Line down to The Loop and all the way back up.

146. Aw. Welp. Every lengthy truthful phone call with Sam.

147. The four seasons I was compiling four second videos.

148. Ashley’s and my perfect roommates stretch, featuring our perfect couch.

149. The night we forced so many to come to our Blackfish showing then sign our petition opposing Sea World. Hahaha. #emptythetanks

150. The night Ben and I sat in the corner giddy burning through TriBond cards.

151. The night I showed up at Doug’s and Lueck’s door losing my damn mind over The Dress.

152. Community Soccer at the local elementary school gym.

153. Frigid stranded in the Chequamegon National Forest with Mary and Caleb on our return drive from our nightmare trip to Duluth.

154. The final night of being “cats in a bag” sleeping in Janelle’s bottom bunk.

155. Filling up the broomball courts under a negative degrees meteor shower.

156. Getting another wonderful summertime of Delala.

157. The Sunday service the pastor wouldn’t quit snapping his fingers and a bunch of us were txting each other like, “OMFG NO AHHH HOW DO WE MAKE HIM STOP????”

158. Oomph. The perfect veggie omelette (no cheese) at Sparks.

159. Dad’s soft voicemail about his admiration for Adele.

160. Their neighbor lady Maddie’s outfit for the Christmas cantata and her disappointment with the unfamiliar song selection.

161. Raquel’s completely irresistible fun streak.

162. Listening to folklore with Jayden and the girlies first thing when I woke up every morning for a while there.

163. Going through Met Gala looks cuddled up with Omar.

164. The way it felt reading Anthropology of an American Girl.

165. The giant primary colors crochet blanket mom made for me.

166. Noah scooping me up in that hug in the Waterloo parsonage kitchen.

167. When Omar completely surprised me with what he can do to a piano.

168. Deciding I am a Pinot Grigio girl.

169. Omfg, the Nest Night we intensely debated our way through a Staff Wives wrestling bracket.

170. Dismantling multiple purity talks and dress codes like it’s my calling.

171. Laying on blankets in the middle of many fields in different places for the sake of being very very very very sunkissed.

172. Regularly running into Bill at Kwik Trip.

[jonathan-mcgregory]

Everything I do ( I do it for you)

Day 2: Klaine Valentine’s challenge 2018

Author: Porcelain and Leather

Rated: T

AO3

Blaine could feel Sebastian’s frustration as he entered their dorm room. He turned his chair around, watching his brother throw his backpack on the bed, grumbling. “What’s going on?“ Blaine sent him a wave of calm and smiled.

Sebastian sat on the bed and closed his eyes, letting the calm wash over him. “Have you met the new kid, yet?” He looked over, and raised a brow at him. Blaine knew that Sebastian had been seeing Kurt in everyone’s mind for a day and a half but neither of them had actually met him yet.

Blaine shook his head as he got up to pop a bowl of water in the microwave. “Not yet. I’m guessing you have?” He turned around and leaned against the desk. He knew his adopted brother, better than anyone. “But why are you so pissed? Did he insult you, somehow?”

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. Sometimes he wished Blaine could read minds. “No, He was fucking polite. Mr. Adams gave him the seat next to me, in biology, and he just walked up and said hi.” He rolled his eyes. “But fuck, did he smell good, and he’s as fucking gorgeous, as people thought he was.” He looked over at his brother, worryingly. “I could barely stop myself from attacking him, in front of the entire class.”

Blaine could feel the desperation and fear as Sebastian talked. Sebastian was never scared and it concerned him. He raised a brow as the microwave beeped. “Seriously? You are over 120 years old, and have never lost control.” He reached down and pulled a bag of blood, from the mini fridge, under the desk. He dropped it into the bowl of water and looked back over at Sebastian. “He can’t be that bad.”

Sebastian shook his head as he rubbed down his face. “That’s what I mean. He nearly ruined everything and all he did was say hi.” Sebastian groaned as his phone went off.  He pulled it out of his bag, to check his messages. “Oh great. Now he is auditioning for the warblers, this afternoon. Wes says that he saw him, performing with us.”

Blaine chuckled and tossed him the bag of blood. “Well, that means you don't kill him. Calm down.”

Sebastian glared at him as he drank the blood. “Yeah, well, it’ll be hard. We have to do some stupid project together. Why the fuck did we go back to high school again, and why at this preppy private school? I’m not even allowed to fuck anyone, here.”

Blaine shrugged. “It is the best way to hide and they don’t ask questions, here. Don’t you think about anything, other than your cock?”

Sebastian just continued to glare at him.

---------------------------------------

Blaine sat next to Wes as the other student started to arrive for rehearsal. He could feel the excitement feeling the room. It was one of the reasons he like this club so much. It was hard to feel any negative emotion with all the euphoria around him.

When Wes was sure everyone had arrived he stood up to talk to the group. “Hello, Warblers. Tonight we have an audition.” He picked up a piece of scrap paper and read off the name. “Mr. Kurt Hummel is going to sing “Lost in your eyes, by Debbie Gibson.”   

Blaine was a little shocked by the song choice. It was risky to say the least. He really hope Wes was right about this kid. Blaine stood up to speak as their fellow students mumbled to each other.. “Everyone will be polite and give him a fair chance. Remember. We are a team and a Family.” He looked over at Jeff and Nick. “Bring him in.”

Jeff grinned and jumped up, excitedly running out the door. Nick chuckled at his boyfriend’s excitement, and followed him. They returned with Kurt a few minutes later.

Blaine looked up as they entered the room. If his heart could still beat, it would be racing. He had never seen anyone, so beautiful. His hazel eyes seemed to embrace his soul. He could not look away when he started started singing. Kurt’s voice sounded like an angel, and Blaine was drawn into into every note. Their eyes connected as Kurt finished singing, and Blaine felt himself walking toward the man. “Welcome to the Warblers, Kurt.”

Kurt smiled at him and he felt his heart sore. “Thank you.” Kurt breathed out. Blaine bit his lip and closed his eyes as the musical voice floated through him.

Wes coughed and startled BLaine out of his trance. He looked over at his friend and smiled. Wes had a knowing look in his eyes. “Okay. Let’s move on. Welcome Kurt.”

Kurt blushed and smiled nervously at him, then went to take a seat, next to his friends. He did not know why Blaine looked at him with such passion but he felt like he did not want it to stop. He had never had anyone look at him, like that.

Wes smiled as he started the meeting. “Does anyone have any ideas for our setlist?” Blaine felt the excitement of the rehearsal wash over him. He was usually able to block most of the emotions out, but today he was a bit distracted. He looked over at Sebastian and motioned that he had to leave, before he snuck out of the choir room.

----------------------------------

Blaine was laying in bed listening to the radio, when Sebastian entered the room. He had his eyes closed and was completely lost in the music. Sebastian rolled his eyes as the images dancing around his his brother’s eyes. “What is wrong with you?”

Blaine looked over at the taller man a shook his head. “You were right. He is gorgeous. I have never seen anyone so beautiful, and those eyes.” He smiled and closed his eyes, remembering the moment he Kurt stepped into the choir room.

Sebastian scoffed. He never had use for romance, like his brother. He sat down, at the desk and growled. “You did not notice how temptingly sweet he smells?” He rolled the chair over and put his feet up on Blaine’s bed.

BLaine looked over and smiled at the other vampire. “He smelled heavenly.” He sat up and kicked Sebastian’s feet off the bed. “I just… I don’t know how to say it. I feel drawn to him.” He stood up and went to grab himself a bag of blood. He could not understand why Sebastian would want to hurt such a beautiful creature. He saw Sebastian glaring at him, but his brother’s sour look ruin this for him.

Sebastian shook his head. “I’m going to go to Italy for a few days.” He shrugged. “Maybe when I get back, Kurt’s appeal will fade, and things can get back to normal.”

Blaine shook his head. He hated that Sebastian would always run to Europe, whenever things got to difficult. He would always return, feeling worse about their situation. “It won’t help, Sebastian, but I’ll call the Volturi, and let them know you are coming. Maybe they can shine some light on why we are both attracted to him, like this.”

Sebastian smiled at him, softly, and began packing a bag. Blaine called the airport and asked them to have their plane ready, for Sebastian. With any luck, he would be back in a few days and would not feel so bitter. An hour later, Blaine was dropping Sebastian off, at their hanger. “Jane will meet you in Rome, and drive you to Voltura.” Sebastian nodded getting out of the car. “Thanks.” He slammed the door and ran into the hanger.

Blaine drove back to Dalton, with a lot on his mind. He never went to the cafeteria, if he could help it (The teenage hormones filling the room were alway too much for him.), but he would do anything, to see those beautiful eyes again.

------------------------------

Blaine walked into the cafeteria, and dinner was already in full swing. He found Kurt sitting, with Duval and Sterling. He walked over and sat across from him. “Good evening, Gentlemen.” He nodded toward Nick and Jeff. He had always liked the couple. There was always a feeling of love, surrounding the pair.

Jeff and Nick, looked up at him, with shock. He could understand their surprise. Even when he came into the hall, he and Sebastian always sat alone. Kurt looked at him and smiled. “Hello. Blaine, right?”

Blaine smiled at him and nodded. His voice was just as beautiful as he remembered and his smile was as bright as the sun. He felt himself wanting to do anything to keep that smile on his face. “Yes, I’m Blaine. I wanted to say that audition was inspiring. It was a risky song choice but it was flawless.”

He smiled as Kurt blushed. The color in his cheeks made him glow. “So, My roommate, Sebastian, needed to go home for a few days. Family business. I was wondering if you guys wanted to watch a movie.”

Kurt frowned looking over at him, looking worried. “I hope everything is alright. I really hope he not out to long. We were supposed to start our project tomorrow, but I guess family comes first.” He looked down at his food and Blaine could feel the loneliness pour out of him, as he talked about family.

He wanted to take the human into his arms and hold him until the sadness passed. “It’s fine. His sister is having a baby.” He smiled giving the excuse that they had given the Dean. “So about that movie.”

Jeff chuckled and bit his lip. He saw the way that Blaine was looking at Kurt, and he spoke before Nick could stop him. “Kurt would love to see a movie with you.” Nick glared at him a moment and Kurt just looked up in shock as Jeff continued to talk. “Unfortunately Nick and I… Ouch.” Blaine tried not to laugh, knowing that Nick had kicked his boyfriend, under the table. It did not deter Jeff for a moment. “Anyway… We are going to my parents for game night.”

Nick rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. “True but we can always have the movie tomorrow, if that is alright with you, Blaine.” He knew that Jeff meant well, but he did not want to leave Kurt alone with Blaine. He knew the rumors that Blaine and Sebastian were together, and he did not want his new friend hurt.

Kurt shook his head. He really did not want to spend the night, alone. He had his own roommate but the boy seemed to never be home. “It’s fine, I would love watch a movie with you.” He appreciated the chance to make a new friend, and Blaine was not bad to look at either. He looked at Nick and smiled. “I hope you and Jeff have fun at game night.”

BLaine watched the exchange hopefully. He frowned a bit when Nick tried to move the movie, to tomorrow. He could feel a bit of hostility coming from the student, and he did not want him to get the wrong idea. He decided to send a bit of reassurance toward Kurt’s friend. “The movie should not run too late and I’ll make sure Kurt gets back to his dorm, safely.”

He smiled as Nick nodded. “Alright. Have fun.” He and Jeff finished dinner and hugged Kurt, before heading out to go to Jeff’s home.

Blaine smiled when he was left with Kurt alone. “So how was your first day?”

Kurt pushed his tray away and looked into Blaine’s golden eyes. He could see the excitement dancing in the globes. “Um it was pretty interesting. Everyone is pretty nice here. Well, except one… You said your roommate is Sebastian?”

Blaine nodded and frowned at Kurt’s nervousness. The brunette looked down at the table feeling a little dejected. “Does he hate me or something? He seemed so cold, in biology and I could have sworn he growled at me.”

Blaine chuckled and shook his head. “I doubt anyone could hate you. No, Sebastian is not very good at meeting new people. It’s hard for him.”

Kurt nodded and looked up at him. “He won’t mind me being in your dorm?”

“Not at all. He’s gone for a few days anyway. He’ll never know.” Blaine grinned winking at him.

Kurt grinned a bit brighter. He couldn't help but blush abit when the other boy blinked at him. “I guess a movie could be fun the. What movie did you have in mind?”

“Um, why don’t you look through my collection and choose one? I am willing to watch anything.”

Kurt nodded. He was finished eating, anyway. “Okay. want to go now?”

----------------------------------------------------------

Blaine was a little nervous. He and Sebastian had never had a guest in their room, but Blaine relished in Kurt’s company. He led the other student into his room and pointed to his Dvd case. There were hundreds lining the wall, and Kurt’s eyes grew with excitement. “Wow.” He walked over and pulled the first one he touched, off the wall. “Let’s watch this one.” He shrugged, not really looking at the title.

Blaine took the case from him and smiled. “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Good choice. Make yourself comfortable.” He walked over to the Dvd player and put the movie in. It was attached to projector and Kurt giggled as he watch the video appear on the far wall. “That is pretty cool.” He chewed his lip and sat in an office chair. He had never actually seen this movie, but he had always loved Robin Hood.

Blaine sat on his bed, and pressed play on the remote. He enjoyed watching Kurt as he got lost in the movie. He heard Kurt humming to a song in the movie. BLaine recognized it immediately and began singing, with the movie.

Look into my eyes – you will see

What you mean to me.

Search your heart, search your soul

And when you find me there you’ll search no more.

Kurt gazed turn Blaine as he listened to him sing, forgetting about the movie. He had a deep soulful voice and Kurt could not help but join in,

Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for.

You can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for.

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, I do it for you.

Blaine smiled as their voices melded together. Singing had always been the thing that kept him sane with the sea emotions, that always surrounded him. It allowed him to feel grounded.

Look into your heart – you will find

There’s nothin’ there to hide.

Take me as I am, take my life.

I would give it all, I would sacrifice.

Kurt blushed and gulped at the lyrics. He was singing a love song with a guy he had just met, but it felt right. He barely noticed himself ,moving closer to Blaine.

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for

I can’t help it, there’s nothin’ I want more

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, I do it for you, oh, yeah.

Blaine smiled at him and slid a bit closer to the bed bed.

There’s no love like your love

And no other could give more love.

There’s nowhere unless you’re there

All the time, all the way, yeah.

They were just inches away from each other as they arrived at the final second the song.

Look into your heart, baby…

Oh, you can’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for.

I can’t help it, there’s nothin’ I want more.

Yeah, I would fight for you, I’d lie for you,

Walk the wire for you, yeah, I’d die for you.

You know it’s true:

Everything I do, oh, I do it for you.

Without thinking, Blaine reached up to cup Kurt’s cheek. Kurt flinched away and backed up, feeling the cold hand against his cheek. The moment had shattered in an instant. “I have to go.” Kurt grabbed his back and ran out of the room. Blaine could feel the panic and guilt coming off the young man. It was the guilt that confused him most.