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lunchador · 4 years ago

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so when do we get the long post about your feelings about dragon age inquisition!!! i dunno if u wanna wait until dlc or not! i am i n t e r e s t e d (also its ok if u dont feel up to it im just!!!! again, interested in ur opinions/feelings)

kajsldkjf PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY DA FEELINGS ALL THE TIME and Inquisition was twice as long as the others so might as well do a word vomit now and I can always do another after the dlc (which several people have assured me are worth playing )

Yeah so inquisition is long. I dislike open world games so a lot of the (super repetitive!!) side quests did grate on my nerves and that docks this game a few points but over all the LORE IS SO GOOD, and it tying in so many choices in from 1+2 is the greatest butterfly effect I ever experienced in video games. I thought telltale + Until dawn were fun for that but good LORD bioware has showed up all of those games and I am really stoked to try mass effect when its out later and play more bw games. I only played Anthem before this and that game seemed...idk, gutted against BW’s wishes.

ANYWAY

Yeah, I managed to go into the whole DA series knowing very, very little, despite how many artists I followed did fanart for it. Once I started playing, I added all the words I could think of to my blacklist but a lot of untagged stuff came through (fair, series is 10+ years old and inq is like what 4-5?). I allowed my friends to pressure me into playing an elf mage for the lore and to romance solas cuz they said he was as important to the story as alistair was. A lot of online followers said I should play how I wanted, which I def would recommend to anyone else, but honestly I can see where they came from and while he never would have been my first choice, I think he actually paired REALLY well with my Inq and how I was playing her. I put her as sensitive but trying to put her responsibility above herself, she was definitely the least funny of my 3 characters, but not incredibly serious. A bit reserved? Just more mature. She’s got faith but she didn’t think she was the chosen one but she’ll do her role the best of her ability. She makes hard decisions and then sobs her chest empty over them because how is one to ever feel like its the right one? I really like how the game lets you choose how you wanna approach the responsibility. Like i said, I wasn’t a reluctant chosen one, but she will do what she can. Versus my friend playing at the same time as me said he played as the second coming of jesus essentially lmfao Having so many characters come back for different roles was so GOOD!!! Like everyone told me Varric was in this one but were like ‘teehee you still cant romance him though’ but you how you play drastically changes your relationships with each person. Tons of characters I met I knew would be personal favorites but I ended up interacting way less because others were more fitting to my inquisitor. So i.e while I love Varric and would’ve smooched him a heartbeat with Hawke, I didn’t get that vibe with Clover. They were really good friends, he was a grounded friend with a sense of humor that was a good escape from everyone else and the ~inquisition~. At least, until the Beyond the Abyss quest. That obviously heavily fractured their friendship and hurt them both :( And i felt that for a long time, until the end. He looked tired. Poor guy is gonna be borderline dead in 4 at this point. But so many side characters you talk to coming back like Dagna and Samson??? Speaking of that quest, I got Stroud because, yeah...Alistair was dead for me and APPARENTLY IT COULD ALSO BE LOGHAIN??? If he stays a grey warden?? wish I did that so def would’ve preferred to save Hawke even if I think the wardens are more important as a concept but like.......i wanted to behead him, so....But yes even tiny details like..Varric wrote home to kirkwall to Carver for me because the rest of my family was dead and I never completed a full romance in 2 lkajslkdjf but the fact that changes based on your play through. BUT YEAH THE way this game weaves all your decisions in and how yeah, overall the story is the same but it makes it so personal to YOU and so different from everyone else ;w;

But I could see my Inq genuinely falling for Solas, and I see her best friends as Cassandra and Blackwall/Thom. Really close to Leliana and the Iron Bull as well. I just loved all their interactions. All the characters were so cool to get to know?? Like I thought I would’ve hated Cullen (hes a dick in O) and tbh I just got into the series as the VA was being a complete shit. But I liked him a lot!! I love the work buddies vibes between the Inq and the advisors. I thought I was going to love Sera!! And like, I did, but she hated my Inquisitor and their personalities clashed a lot. Shes the only one i didn’t get a cut scene for in the end :’) I loved coming back from story quests and having to take like 20 minutes to go around skyhold and make sure I talked to /everyone/ for their new dialogue. You genuinely feel connected to all these wonderful npcs ljkasljdf

I wanted to make Cassandra the new divine but I made leliana on accident and kinda dug it so I stuck with it. VARRIC IS THE NEW VISCOUNT??? h i l a r i o u s.

One of the things I loved the most in this game in particular, and while this is something in all of them it just really struck me in this one, was....everyone gave up so so much to devote themselves to the cause, y’know?? Like, it’s almost heartbreaking how much everyone loses and they’re still looking towards you with their belief and willingness to follow you to the end ;-;

The final fight almost felt, Idk, underwhelming? Dude dragons are way tougher than him asdkjhfkhjd. I even went up a difficulty in this game after feeling like I got the hang of the series. But at the same time, we just spend how many hours knocking down each and one of his advantages so fuck him lol.

But yeah there are so many things I wanted to do but I felt so worn out by mindless sidequests and story being level locked in comparison to the previous games. askdjhflkd

One of the things that blows my mind is so so many people were stoked i was playing DA and they couldn’t wait til I got to Inq, and so I find out most people I know only ever played Inquisition? TBH if I didn’t play O+2 I think I would’ve dropped inquisition and never finished it *shrug* all of the build up just means SO MUCH!!! Everyones argument seems to be the older games are ugly and yeah O has rough battle system but its easy to get over imo. Like, you need the chaos of 2 to get the real weight of the mage/templar stuff?? Theres so many characters and story and dialogue that go over your head without Origins?? Like yes inq can stand alone pretty well but, idk, I’m in love with this entire series and the world building and THE!! WAY!!! IT!!! ALL!!! CONNECTS!!!!!!!!!!!

I love how a quest can go differently by whos in your party, I love you can have more dialogue based on lore you’ve managed to pick up around, I love HOW COMPANIONS BICKERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! The lore of these games are so good. It’s like playing an epic line of novels. It’s so immersive and I don’t think I’ve played too many games to this level.

I didn’t like the skill trees to being a mage in this one, Idk why. It wasn’t nearly as fun for me as 2, but then again I really fucking liked being a force mage haha. I wanted to be a rogue to complete a diff class per game but everyone said mage brings a lot more interesting story/lore stuff so

but yeah I love having the full context now and seeing other peoples Wardens/Hawkes/Inquisitors and asking people how they played and how their options differed from mine and THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBLE DECISION TREES!!!!! No wonder the fans play over and over.

but yeah ultimately so much fucking happened?? I’m probably missing a lot of key points.

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doom-dreaming · 5 years ago

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Big Sigh: aka my thoughts on BL3

Okay. It's 4 in the morning and I have managed to fuck my sleep schedule completely sideways and I've been reading people's complaints and criticisms for about an hour now so here's what I have to say about Borderlands 3. This is gonna get long, buckle up.

Borderlands 3 has potential that was never fully realized and it seems half-finished and underdeveloped.

Now, you might want to take this with a grain of salt because I haven't actually played it for myself yet, but I've been watching streams of whatever I can get my grabby little hands on and here are my impressions.

I agree with the majority of you who say it was a disappointment. I feel like we were overly hyped. Maybe it was just active imaginations and excitement and love for the series, but when my friends and I can come up with at least three different storylines for the twins alone that are (in our opinions) better than what actually happened?? Something went wrong, narratively.

You all know I could talk for hours about all the different visual aspects of just Troy and how we got answers for virtually none of them - but I won't fixate entirely on him this time around.

In general, there's some kind of disconnect between what we were expecting and what we got. Characters seem one-dimensional or just "off" in some way, and granted, it has been seven canonical years since BL2 (so about five since the events of Tales, if I remember my timeline correctly) and people do change. Seven years is longer than you think, especially in an environment where literally anything could happen.

But in order for that change to be believable, it needs to be backed up by canon. I'm not saying we should have gotten a bunch of side quests that detail the years between then and now for every single character, but even just a few lines here or there as we go about our missions would have been better than leaving a gaping hole. Too much of a hole is not "let the audience fill in the blanks," it's just bad writing.

Rhys and Vaughn? As far as I know, they barely acknowledge each other. I know a lot of people are displeased with Vaughn's development and while I like the feral Vaughn, it's just a single aspect of his character. In Tales, we got to see him transform from a nerdy, gun-shy dude into someone who embraced the danger of Pandora and learned how to roll with the punches. I'm glad to see how confident he's become in BL3, but again, I feel like they distilled his character down into just one basic part.

I was actually pleased with Rhys, to be honest. I think his voice acting captured the essence of Troy Baker's, and I think he retained more character fidelity than some of the others.

Fiona, Sasha? We don't necessarily need to see them (though I would have loved that), but even overhearing a conversation from some NPCs regarding "those grifters Rhys used to run with?" "Oh yeah, I hear they're Vault hunting now" would have been fine. Just something to acknowledge that they're out in the world doing something.

I've heard big complaints about Aurelia and while I haven't played TPS and don't have too much of a grasp on her character, I can see the frustration. From what I've gathered, she doesn't seem the type to go full bloodthirsty, full money-hungry like she was made out to be. Again, seven years can change a person, but if you're going to make a change that seems out-of-character without context, then give us that context. Once more, it seems like a distillation of character to further a plot that, frankly, would have been better and more interesting if they hadn't done it.

I'm going to briefly touch on the whole Aurelia/Troy thing again (weird jealousy aside) because I've found out why it rubs me the wrong way. The twins don't operate like that. From all other negotiations we see, it's either cunning diplomacy or brute force. Aurelia didn't need to fuck Troy to get him to torture Monty Jakobs for the Vault Key. He would've done it anyway. This whole thing seemed like an attempt at an obligatory sex joke that, again, needed context to make us believe it could reasonably happen. But instead we got nothing, just a weird scene that seemed out of place for both characters involved. The only thing it contributed was foreshadowing that "the sister always wins."

And speaking of the twins, here's the meat of the problem: wasted potential.

Let's look at what we've got. Sirens. Twin sirens, one male. Already a game-changer. These guys are a living, breathing anomaly in the rules of this universe. Add in the beautiful religious aesthetic and the mystical Great Vault and we've got ourselves some amazing options.

But what did we get? We got a lackluster sibling relationship (although it did have some gems, I'll admit). We got a half-hearted betrayal that ended up amounting to nothing. And in the end? We got our ultimate villain on a quest for more power. Y a w n.

Why doesn't Tyreen listen to her father as he pleads with her? Why does she hate him so much? Where's our context?! It seems like a lack of communication more than anything. Typhon never once refers to Tyreen as a monster, which is how they saw it growing up. In fact, she seems to be the favorite. He calls her "starlight." He begs her to listen, that the Great Vault won't give her the power she wants. He's remorseful of how he raised them, resigned to what they've become, but up until the end he's trying to convince her to stop until it reaches the point where he knows he can't anymore.

What got the twins from point A to point B? I get it, shitty parental behavior leaves lasting trauma, especially when there's a layer of bad communication on top of it. But show us this, somehow. Please Gearbox, give us context. The vulnerable moments we got from the twins and Typhon left me wanting so much more of that, in particular. The talk about their childhood, the stargazing, Troy's admission about their mother, all of it was just a hint at something deeper that I feel like we never got to fully explore.

I feel that way about the whole game. Everything was the tip of an iceberg and we never got to see the rest underneath.

Imagine if Ty wanted to find the Great Vault because it would allow Troy to live a healthy, self-sufficient life. What a plot, huh? Supportive villain siblings? How dare I. What if they'd realized their mistake before it was too late. What if something woke up anyway? Something more ancient and more dangerous than ever. Let the Eridians have their time to shine. They've been a background force this whole series; pull the biggest twist and tell us that not all of their civilization was lost after all. For God's sakes, tell us more about sirens. We learned jack about shit for all their promises of "sirens will play a big part." Do the twins count as one? How do the powers pick the person?

This is getting incredibly long, so here are my closing thoughts. It doesn't feel finished. It feels like they released a half-finished ending to a series. The final events wrap up cleanly, hardly giving a new opening for a sequel, and yet there are still holes and loose ends galore in the story. I know that we still have DLC to get through, but given all of this, I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Give us more story, deeper story, deeper characters, and most importantly, context.

Anyway. You know where to find me if you want rewrites and fix-its.

#bl3 spoilers #in this essay i will-#ash rambles #ash rambles about her murder babes

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years ago

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– REBUILD III –

RUNAWAY RENEGADES

· COLLECTION 1 ·

“backstories”

———————————————————

- VOLUME ONE -

Dennis, Aaron, Damon, Sawblade

It was a normal (or was it?) day. The alarm on the boy's phone rang loudly, and he woke up.

Two hours late. It was a Monday.

Too tired to care, he fell back down to his bed and went on his phone. He opened Twitter and was shocked to spot the #1 trending hashtag:

#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty

He rejoiced, opening it to find millions of tweets without any context. After ignoring various fancams that made him lose hope in the current situation, he stumbled upon a thread explaining the current situation.

“#DojaCatIsOkAgainParty : A THREAD <3” The first tweet twote, accompanied with four pictures: One of Doja Cat herself, one of Nicki Minaj, another of whoever becomes the next US president, and Lana Del Rey. What the hell is going on?

“As we all know, Doja Cat, Beyoncé, and many other artists have somehow been cancelled by Lana Del Rey within a week in May of 2020,” Okay… “This is due to Lana's satanic powers.” Oh, okay. Yeah, this was the same account who said that Avril Lavigne has a clone. Who was part of the CIA. Sure, man, whatever.

“At 3:56 AM today, Doja Cat had kidnapped [insert 46th president here] and escorted him to a secondary location. Then, Nicki stabbed the shit outta him. This has caused the America fandom to go insane.” what. “Lana was behind this. As we all know, she and Jessie J had hacked into The Pentagon and made Beyonce Knowles president, for clout.” what.

He put down his phone, questioning what the hell Stan Twitter was on now. The boy approached his cat, Sawblade, who was sleeping on the floor. Sawblade yawned dramatically and circled the boy's legs. He picked her up and laid her onto his bed.

“kwjdkwjjrjrjrkjwkjwjrkj” The cat purred. His phone buzzed. It was a notification from PlayStation Messages. He opened it, eager to know if one of his friends finally wanted to play multiplayer with him.

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello PLAYSTATION user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

Oh, a scam. He took a screenshot of the text, and then immediately blocked and reported the user, NULL000000. Huh, odd username. Whatever, he's not gonna reply–

One DM from Twitter.

NULL AGENCIES ✓ – @NULLhiring

“#0.00 NULL$$ - Hello TWITTER user! We at NULL HQ politely invite you to join us in making the world a better place one job at a time. Kindly go to this location and sign up for one of our many job offers! No résumé needed, only experience, hard work, and an interview and a fitness test! We hope to see you soon!”

The same thing, huh? This NULL guy really wants his money, he guesses. First Nicki commits manslaughter and now he keeps getting the same scam messages? It's only been not even an hour today and yet so much has happened. What next, Enya comes out of hiding?

“BuzzFeed News: Famous singer Enya comes out of her big-ass castle to collaborate with Nyan Neko Sugar Girls creators for new Apple TV miniseries”

Damn, okay, this is a dream. The boy wrapped himself in a blanket, hugged his bolster and wriggled around, trying to sleep. He couldn't, so he went back on Twitter.

jimin is fr**kin DEAD (@bangtanctwice):

“dont s-word me but like why is l/*n//a out of prison again. i thought she had the electric chair already ://”

illumi killed silva <3 (@hxhoverwatcch)

“ITSSB ACK !!!!!!!!! HXH IS BAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAHAJAHAHAAAAA DJDJJDJDJSNDNFJDDJ”, followed by an edit of Hisoka Morow.

oikawa⁷ (@HAIKYUUUUS)

“man how the hell did furudate think a crossover w yu yu hakusho mp100 bnha kny gintama n hgtv could save haikyuu. it practically ended the moment they all ate that volcano w departure in the bg”

Kerry Washington ✓ (@kerrywashington)

“LITTLE FIRES 6 OUT NOW!!!! I'm gonna EXPLODE Earth in this one!!! I'm going back to the Early Cambrian stage!!!! Bye Pearl!!”

Internet Explorer Anitwt (@iloveboruto)

“Y’all Kurapika brought A SHOVEL to that fight with Uvogin!!! A Whole SHOVEL!!! 😂😂😂”

knas is canon !! (@moiiiraclones)

“guys i think bakugos a kurta..... think abt it.... red eyes... always stressed......”

vic (NOT SPOILER FREE!!!) (@myname_jeff)

“why is no one addressing the fact that jfk 2 is happening and like everyone involved has stans”

ray is ia rn (@cryptodorito)

“my dog just ate my dad ....... stan list !”

give moxxi another dlc (@TORGUEEEE)

“hey does anybody find it weird that gearbox just released borderlands 4 w no buildup At All. seems p fishy :(”

gerard's hand sanitizer (@raytowo)

“did mcr just do twelve concerts in three days. legends”

ceo of tanjirou (@hiskoamorron)

“pls stream jessie j now ;) or die <\3”

ceowo owof bakuwugowouwu (@bakubaby)

“yes, what i did was wrong. there are dogs everywhere starving and eating dog treats is not morally right. that said, (1/67)”

Okay, enough of that. No more. Please. Three hours have passed, and he's still very confused, if not even more confused than before. Is there some sort of event today that he missed? Why is every single tweet weird? Is all this real? Is he in a parallel universe? Is he dead?

The boy zoned out into the bedroom wall, thinking of all the possibilities of this happening. He was lost in his imagination, his train of thought splitting and exploding due to all the unusual occurrences. That was, until Sawblade voiced out her needs.

“YEEEEEEHEHEA” she yelled. She was starving, mainly because the last time she ate was like, a whole hour ago. Sad.

“Ye lah,” “Mew,” “Meow meow mew mew mew,” The boy meowed as he dragged himself to fill up his cat's bowl. “chyouooyoymeeeiielll,” he complimented, ruffling the cat's face.

The boy tripped over his Form 3 activity book as he was walking, a reminder that he should probably do his homework soon. He turned the doorknob and opened the door and he was shocked to find that his house…

Had been ripped in half.

He pushed his back against the wall and slowly inched along the wall towards the kitchen, staring down into the abyss below the house. The living room had a sofa missing, and the television looked like it was going to fall down any second. Furniture floated in the void below the floorboards, which was bent, with plumbing pipes exposed, as well as the metal rods holding the house together.

It reminded him of what Sanctuary looked like when it was floating in space in Borderlands 2. But instead of a city, it was a condominium unit. And instead of Lilith lifting it up, it was… unknown. If only he could gunzerk, or have siren powers, or be a ninja sniper assassin, or have a turret, or have a giant mech, or be super tall and have a buzz-axe. If only. But thank God there's no Mordecai. To hell with Mordecai. I hate Mordecai. He's the most straightest man. Ever. Claptrap is less straight than him. HANDSOME JACK is less straight than him. R O L A N D is CLEARLY less straight than him. Mordecai is the epitome of heterosexuality.

Thankfully, the boy reached the kitchen safely, but still very full of anxiety, and poured the cat food into a flat container, since Sawblade is so fluffy, her face can't fit in cat bowls. He emptied the water bowl, cleaned it, and filled it with filtered water, making sure it's slightly cooled. Sawblade likes it that way. As she cronched on the kibbles, he stared into the distance, wondering what his apocalypse name would be.

He grabbed a glass of water and a packet of muffins for his breakfast. As he ate it, he scrolled through his timeline as if it was the morning paper. Oh, Katy Perry gave birth to twelve kids. And Gowon killed X Æ A-Xii. With a machete. Ok. That's cool, I guess. Capitalism, y’know?

:DAMON @C0RR0Sl0N

“my house got sliced in half. im just chillin here w my cat sawblade. considering eating cat food. not influenced by any recent drama ok”

Send Tweet.

As the boy was eating, he noticed the front door to the house was missing. The entrance lead to what seemed like the side of the street. In a foreign place. The lamppost was unfamiliar, and so was the pavement design. It seemed rather American.

He peeked his head out, and lo and behold, he spotted a pet shop just a couple of feet away. The sudden shock of all this made him forget about his cat, an indoor cat, a curious one. Sawblade stepped slowly outside, and as she went into the boy's view, he stormed to catch her, panicking and swearing profusely.

Of course, this made her way more terrified, and she ran faster, and… into the ajar door of the pet shop. “SAWBLADE!!! DON'T!!” he yelled loudly as he stopped in front of the building. The boy paused, unsure whether to proceed or retreat.

“Russell Family Pet Store, since 1965” wrote a large sign on the front. It looked rustic, but well-kept. The blinds were drawn, so the boy couldn't see what was inside. The building occupied two lots, and seemed to be two storeys tall. A nice rooftop garden was situated on top of it, and there were painted-over remnants of many posters plastered onto the walls. The walls were now coated with light brown paint. This building was surely cared for by a variety of owners.

Although hesitant, the boy stepped into the store, his hands shaking. He could've probably pass out right then and there if he wasn't searching for Sawblade. He sneaked into the building quietly, determined to get his cat and run like hell right after. However, his ideal plan was quickly foiled after he stepped on a squeaky toy.

“Shit, who's there?” A deep voice asked. It seemed like it belonged to someone tall, depressed, and very angry about capitalism. The boy was stuttering, both from the panic of being caught, and also because he had to speak to a native English speaker. “Probably just the delivery guy,” A second voice assured. This voice seemed quite hard to guess, but it was surely a kind one. Very trustworthy. “Jed, is that you?” The kind voice added. Yeah, these two are totally friendly. Probably. Don't take any chances, though.

A figure approached the boy, and it towered above him. The 5'9" hulking beast stopped. “Oh, sorry, we're closed. It's Judgment Day,” the kind man said. Well, of course it's judgement day. Why wouldn't it be judgement day? “Wait, no, I'm an idiot. Martin Luther King Jr’s day.” The man corrected. “How the hell do those two even remotely sound like each other?” The first voice said, the owner sitting behind the counter, shadowed.

“M-My cat's here.” “Have y-you sa-see-sawn her?” The boy was actually very fluent in English, even more than Malay, but the panic he was experiencing kind of absolutely extirpated any knowledge of it from his brain. Really, dude? “Sawn”? What is this, Texas?

Fortunately the two were understanding. The man behind the slau– counter stood up suddenly. “Holy shit, do you speak Spanish? Habla español?!” He asked excitedly. “No, why would I–? I'm Malay, dumbass,” the boy retorted, then realising that he just insulted someone much older than he was and that was… kinda rude. “WAIT SORRY” he blurted out, sending him back into the panic that he was under when he entered the store.

“HUH?! No, I’M sorry, I just assumed you were South American just because you couldn't speak English!” The man yelled, apologizing loudly. Yeah, this dude's sure as hell white. “I CAN!!! WHERE'S MY CAT!!!” The boy shouted back, very confused at where his priorities should be right now. “Oh!” said the man in front of him.

“IS THIS HIM– SORRY, HER?!” The man asked, reaching towards the corner. “We, uh, found her just straight-up running into here. Which is really weird, since cats, like, don't do that,” he said, holding Sawblade. Senang cita. “YES!! THANK YOU!!” The boy yelled. Why is everyone yelling?

Sawblade looked comfy all snuggled up in the man's arms. “He… seems to like you,” The boy said jealously. Usually, he was the one Sawblade loved most. “I have ten cats, so,” The man replied casually. “…How? Even?” he questioned as he carefully took Sawblade from the stranger. “I just do?”

The boy still remained very confused. “Name's Aaron, by the way. Please don't call me Ay-Ay-ron. Just… please,” the kind man said. “Ok” the boy replied. “Mine's. Um. Uh.” “…” The boy thought whether to say his real, legal one, or the one he went with online, which he seemed to prefer way more than his real one. “THE NAME'S DENNIS RUSSELL. I SHARE MY INITIALS WITH A VIDEO GAME.” The white guy said, interrupting the boy's statement. “Oh. Good to know. Hi, Mr. Danganronpa,” The boy politely said. “Fuck yeah,” replied Dennis.

“And if you're wondering which one of us is part of the Russell family that's running this shop,” Dennis began, “Den, don't,” Aaron interrupted. “It's my family. But, my dad became a magician, and my dad's choosing to indulge in his gardening hobby here, so the job's passed down to me now,” Aaron said.

“G//ay Ass!” Dennis shouted. “Okay, fine, Dennis, since we got married last month, you're part of the Russell family, too, honey,” Aaron said. “Just don't–” “YEEEEEHAAWWEE PARDNER WELCOME TO YE OLDE RYUSSELL PEYT SHYOP–” Dennis yelled loudly enough to give the boy a heart attack. However, this was probably the tenth time this week he did this, so Aaron was just very tired. “Jesus.”

“Um, what is this place?” The boy was still very much confused on why there was a pet shop sitting in front of his house, which was ripped in half. “I just told you…” Dennis said disappointedly. “No, like, where am I? Why are you guys American? I'm assuming? I'm not?” The boy said. “Well, our pet shop's in Toledo; Toledo, Ohio,” Aaron stated, gesturing towards a pile of papers. “If you're lost, we have some maps, some phone books…” he continued, unaware of the current situation.

“No, I live in Selangor, so– Selangor, Malaysia, not Ohio, out of all places, God, no, and my house is right over there,” the boy argued, pointing outside. “Well, half of it,” The two pet shop workers stood at their places, trying to process what the hell this kid just said. “Like? There? Outside this gracious state that occupies the #2 spot for most arson cases in the US? That's Malaysia?” Dennis shot back, also unaware. The boy was a bit excited after hearing him mention the name of his country, but shook it off to further develop the conversation. “Yes. Somehow. Also, I really don't think this is Ohio. Too many buildings and I haven't seen any corn fields,”

“Didja know there's over 75,000 farms in this 14-million acre state? There are, ya just gonna know where to look :)” Dennis stated. “What the hell? That's way too many farms. How does… what…” The boy replied in shock, almost dropping Sawblade. “I'm sorry, what?” Aaron asked. “Yup! Lotta farms in the buckeye state!” Dennis replied excitedly.

“HALF?!” “Of it??” It seemed like Aaron was the only one there actually concerned about the task at hand. “Huh? Oh yeah. Not really that big of a deal, though, honestly; enough food here for thirteen weeks,” How the boy calculated that, and how accurate it is remains a mystery. “Anyway, how do state fairs work? Like, do corn dogs taste good? I've had deep-fried Oreos once, they tasted really good. Really love 'em,”

Aaron ignored the exchange by the two very excited individuals and opted to step out to see if the boy was right or not. In his head, he was honestly convinced he wasn't, but that was up for change. Hell, he didn't even look at his phone or the TV today, so maybe the kid's right, his house is snapped in half.

Oh, it is.

“Holy shit, Denny, come look,” he yelled, gesturing to his husband. “Okay! I hope the aliens aren't homophobic or anything! :)” Dennis replied, running eagerly to the door. “HOT DAMN!” Dennis shouted. Now the boy could see how they both looked like, especially Dennis.

Dennis was definitely over six feet tall, he had balding, spiky red hair, and his eyes were big and sunken, and had bags under them. Aaron, on the other hand, had only seemed tall because of his hair. Aaron was missing a tooth for some reason. His lower-left fang. That's weird. They were both sporting uniforms; an orange shirt covered by a green vest with the logo of the pet shop sewn near the… like the… the end of it but like in the front? Like the middle? But like the logo was on the side. Yeah

“I don't think aliens are homophobic. Have you played Borderlands? Lots of g/ay people, and they're all technically aliens. I think the aliens are g//ay,” the boy explained thoughtfully. “I have, at my friend's house this one time, but then I died and I had to, like, pay, so then I just left his house, man,” Aaron replied. “Yeah, that's fair, usually I just save and quit whenever I die,” the boy added.

“Wait, what's your name, again? This whole time, you're being referred to as ‘the boy,’” Dennis asked, breaking the fourth wall. “Shrek,” the boy replied. The two men nodded in solidarity. “Good name,” Aaron complimented. “It reminds me of my childhood, and good times, and Shrek-flavored Oreos,” he added.

Shrek paused for a bit, hesitant to tell them his preferred name, but saying it anyway because they both seem quite nice and understanding, also, his family's not there. “I'm kidding. Shrek is but only my middle name,” Shrek explained, “Please, call me…”

“Damon,”

Gender euphoria ran through his veins like that one time Thanos put on the infinity gauntlet and he was AAAAAGH, P O W E R,,, HNGGH, that but Yeah. “Cool! Hi, Damon!” Dennis said, watching Damon's eyes burn with joy. Oh, just saying, like in some more volumes, this little kid turns into a pyromaniac, so. Yeah. Watch out for that. This is Foreshadowing.

Aaron scanned the horizon, unknowing what the hell was happening. “Hey, guys, should we… go investigate or something?” Damon thought for a bit, but not too much because this thing going on seemed too random to properly scan and plan. “Um, I don't know,” he said wisely, “Did you guys hear about that thing with, like, Nicki Minaj and the president? Were you guys affected or whatever?”

“With who and what? Nick– NICKI?? THE PRESIDENT?? OF HERE?? WHATEVER THIS THING IS???” Dennis struggled to figure out what Damon was saying. “Yeah, she stabbed him or something. Doja Cat helped too :)” Damon explained, confusing the two even more. “Why?” Aaron tried. “I dunno. Drama?” “Heard Lana's involved too… but you didn't hear it from me, yeah?” Damon added.. “THE COW GIRL. HELPED NICKI. AND LANA. ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT. DAMON.”

- * Special Thanks * -

Snowball

Sandball

Gon Freecss

Killua Zoldyck

Leorio Paladinight

Kurapika Lastname

Hisoka Morow

(is that the correct spelling?)

Illumi Zoldyck

Kikyo Zoldyck (shes pretty, ok)

Kanamori Sayaka

Mizusaki Tsubame

Asakusa Midori

Pakunoda

Machi Komacine

Moira O'Deorain

Freddy Krueger

Sideshow Bob

Spy TF2, Pyro TF2, Scout TF2, Leia Organa, Han Solo, Yoda, Darth Vader, he's cool, Sheev Palpatine, Developers of the video game “Tiny Thief”, Mad Moxxi, Ellie Kurta (shes a spiderant. my theory), Handsome Jack (Not Really, Burn In Hell) (during the period of time between me writing this and me copying and pasting this, i have developed a crush on not only jack, but his doppelgangers too. help)

Angel :)), Claptrap, Dr. Zed, NOT Marcus Kincaid, Dr. Patricia Tannis, Roland, Lilith, Brick (ga/y rights), Zer0, Krieg, Tiny Tina, Tiny Tuna, Louise Bob's Burgers, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Lazy Susan, Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Durland, Officer Spectre :)), Yoda Again, 2003 Honda Civic, Ray Toro, Lynz Way, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Linda Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers Bob's Burgers, Sans Undertale, Komaeda, Sombra // Olivia Colomar, Actually All Of Talon Bc They're Hot Af, Except For That French Guy Max, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Spider-Man PS4, Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright, The Lil Psychic Girl, Uhhhh Mario Brothers

part 2 incoming.

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yumenosakiacademy · 6 years ago

Text

metr0con 2019 saturday diary

cosplayed/breakfast: same as the other 2 diaries. snack: a twin kitkat.

my eyes only, buckaroo. for future me.

can i b real w u i waited until 3 am to type this n a lot (esp from panels/early in the day) is HELLA fuzzy!!! sry! ;w; also it’s like. 4 am as im typing this n im not in the mood to write a diary! recalling everything is tiring, yknow? n i need to go to bed ghh... anyway!!

we left late bc i couldnt decide who to cosplay n i arrived late :(( anyway, it hadnt been 5 minutes there when i dropped my plastic purple heart ring i had from the dentist n i was so sad :( but i went to the bn-ha panel n i dont remember a lot of it sry. i remember iida wore a giant floppy sunhat that said Sunny Vibes on it tho n momo wore a black n white striped dress w sunflowers!

After this was cafe-stuck and it was fun! everyone kept calling jade a furry n i asked nepeta if she’d ever seen Nyan Neko Sugar G!rls to which she said no n someone asked her if she’d heard of/seen nek0para n she said she’d heard of it but it was “a bit.. too Extreme/Much for me.....” and someone asked the group (vriska, jade, john, dave, nepeta, tavros, aradia) why they were doing this and they said it was equius’ and john’s (i think?) prank that got way too out of hanf bc kanaya made the outfits for reals. someone asked vriska if she was a furyr cuz she had a spidersona and throughout the panel vriska and tavros kept talking abt how vriska took away his legs/him not having any. i asked the aradia n vriska if they’d work good together to make a good hall0ween themed cafe if this cafe were real n they were like “what’s hall0ween?” n the others told them it was a holiday that had candy n dead bodies n stuff! n someone asked abt who has the least human rights or just rights in general n john was like “jade u dont rights, ur an animal” n jade was like “trans rights”.

i decided to skip the d-dlc panel bc i didnt rly wanna write poetry cuz i do that at home n i dont rly care abt theories n discussing stuff like that so! i went walking around the dealers room n stuff. my crown actually came off at this time n i remember feeling like my crown had fallen off bc i thought i heard the mini whoosh it makes when it falls down but when i looked behind me, it wasnt there so i checked the aisles nearby n it wasnt there so i assumed someone had snatched it off my head but after a lot of walking, i found it half-underneath a con table w black tablecloth?? so i picked it up n went to the cosplay help desk and the guy safety-pinned it to my wig so i was all good to go!!

after that, i tried to look around to see if i could find any ens-tars cosplayers bc the meerup but i didnt see any so i was like oh well whatever im going to the LL panel anyway. so i went to the aki hana panel n i have videos of it! so im not rly gonna talk abt it. they played kings game there tho and “who’s most likely”! they said “who’d like an!mal crossing the best” n my immediate thought was rin so i raised my hand but the answer they had thought of was kotori, which actually makes much more sense haha. they said my answer was valid tho. i still got candy for answering! anyway the punk set ruby next to me ended up being the hifumi from yesterday that gave me the flower tin n they said it was nice to see me again n i said i wasnt able to go to the ES meetup bc i was only told when it was, not where it was, n they said that Eri/Eli (?) 9im guessing that was the host of the meetup) had to cancel it n i went oh. at the end of the panel i received a kotori pic! also a girl dressed up as a witch complimented my tsukasa outfit n i knelt down n said “thank you, princess” or smth i was like “i had a ring that i was gonna use to like. pretend to give to pretty girls but.. i lost it” n they seemed flattered but we parted ways!

after this was the aqours panel n the hanamaru did a dance n the you also did one but then they started playing the p0cky game n Headphones n i got kind of bored so i left n i heard “tsukasa!” n it was the jakurai from yesterday (that told me abt the meetup) dressed as mao in a yukata w their friend as oni ritsu n they looked so good! the jakumao apologized saying the meetup was cancelled. i think we talked for a sec then i went to go check out the rw-by q n a n it was a whole lot of roasting from the audience haha bc they did questions one at a time (ex: questions for yang, now questions for blake...) n i asked yang how she gets her hair so nice n she went “...nice?” w an unbelieving laugh/tone then they moved on n i was confused but oh well! they asked summer how she felt abt sloppy seconds bc taiyang n how taiyang’d feel abt a 3rd wife n nora got asked how many pancakes she could eat at a time n she was like “how much time do ya have?” n after the qna they started playing a weird game n it was rly boring so i left but the panel was almost over anyway.

after i left i ran into a ramuda n they recognized me as tsukasa n they’re into ES n they said they hadnt watched the anime yet n they were surprised to see valkyrie in it bc they thought they werent gonna b but they said they hope the anime doesnt butcher shhu bc they like shu n know a lot of ppl hate shu n stuff. we talked abt the ES cosplayers at the con for a bit n i told them abt the ritsu+mao cosplayers n we had anice time talking n they said they rly liked rabits n i was like oh dude me too!! “i havent met anyone who hates ryu-seitai. like, Good.” n they were like “how could you hate ryu-seitai, they all wanna b nice n make friends” n i was like “yea mayb except midori” there was more but yea! i also ran into the witch girl n her friend from earlier bc they went “tsukasa!!!” n her friend (cosplayin smth from hn-k) showed me they had/got a leo plush n i was like “OH MY GOD. HE’S FINALLY BEEN FOUND!! HOLD ON CAN WE HAV A PIC W IT” so we took a pic of the leo plush beside my “where is leo??” sign like!! hell yea! n i was like “leo needs to pay child support. he’s evading his taxes. tax fraud” or smth around this point i think. at some point, on the escalators, i noticed a juto n a samatoki but when they got off the scalator they were heading for the exit so i couldnt rly ask for their pic so i decided to try n find em later.

then i went to the bn-ha panel but it was full to the BRIM but i made the mistake of sliding into the middle of an empty row for a good seat but the prson sat in front of me had big poofy hair so i couldnt see like half of the characters n ppl filld all the seats to my left n right so i couldnt leave. i was rly bored n trapped so i went on my ipad for almost all of thepanel n read part of a chiana/zu fic n stuff until the girl w the big hair left then i focused a Little more on the panel but i was still bored so wehn i noticed the ppl to my right all leave except the one guy next to me, i left the panel. i was sad bc at the time of that panel, there was a DR murder mystery panel that i couldve tried to attend instead but i was trapped so i couldnt :((

after that i decided to wander around for a bit before idolfest but when i went in at 5 pm, i 4got just how small that room was n how few chairs it had, n there were ppl standing against the walls so i leaned my sign against the right of the double doors BUT I LOOKED AHEAD N THERE WAS!! A HYPM!C PERFORMANCE STARTING TO HAPPEN!! DIVISION RAP ANTHEM WAS STARTING UP N MTR WAS ON THE STAGE!! but there were tall ppl standing in front of me n i was crowded against the back so i raised my ipad way above my head n started recording n watched them thru my ipad util someone opened the right door n i had to scramble tog rab my sign n lean it against me somehow n it made my fildiming falter but!! god i was just so exciting bc i wasnt expecting A HYPM!C PERFOAMNCE!! they did so good too ;w; after that, it was a solo hanayo perfoamnce then 3 songs from a non-anime-specific idol group that did 3 voca songs (one of which was LUVVVORATORY!!) n another non-anime dol group that did kpop songs (they were rly pretty n good) n then a you solo then a you/hane duet! ALSO during the hypm!cperformance, te juto n sama n a gentaro were dancing in front of me n right after the perfoamcne, a BB group opened the door but realized they missed the hypm!c performance n left n i decided to try n find em later too.

after the last performance, there was still time, so a samus came over to me n asked to take a pic of my sign n they said they like ens-tars too n they said they cosplay tsukasa too n they ran a panel as him back in georgia n we talked abt best boys n i showed them all the keychains on my bag n when i pointed at mika n said 2nd best boy they went “:o me too!” n there was a lot more said but we went on talking for a while abt ens-tars n they showed me pics of the tori n arashi cosplayers that day they saw.

after that i just walked around for like 45 minutes until the samus saw me again n waved me over so i was talking w them n they were apparently drinking alcohol despite being 18 n their friend was 23 n we were just talking abt stuff n i noticed a trigger group on the escalator n we called out to them n i took their picture n samus was like “dude it’s so cool that ur into id0lish7 too” n then we kept talking n at one point the samus was like “tsukasa i luv u” n made a lil finger heart n i tried 2 make one but my hands were kinda full but i managed to make one! they also said earlier today, they saw a sasuke cosplayer getting arrested n they took a pic of it for their snapchat lmao n it was them in front of a cop car n they said the person said “dont touch me!!” to the cop. the friend w samus said the only idols he knows were the combie one n that saki was def best girl hands down like, its a fact n i was like “ur right. it not even a hot take, its the Facts.” anyway then i wnted to walka round a bit more so i did n at like. 7:10 i decided “why not go near the photosoot area n registration to see more cosplayers that r there bc ive just been walking repetitive loops around the dealers room entrance n the con floor so! there could b some new cosplayers there! n lo n behold i found a tenn n ryuu that i had seen briefly earlier! n took their pic! then less than a few ftaway, i tried to walk past some ppl but there was a bag in the way so i stepped over it (like, not on it, i mean. like, Over, to avoid it) but i noticed it was an MTC itabag n the person next to it had bunny ears n it!! was the juto n sama i was looking for! so i took their pic n was talking abt how cool it is to see more hypm!c cosplayers here this yr until some guy came up n started telling the samatoki they looked like kaworu n they mistook them for kaworu n they said they didnt kno who i was supposed to b but i looked nice (iirc?) so i left n near the prop check table, I SAW THE BB BOYS! so i ran up to them n asked for a picture n then i started talking abt the hypm!c thing n there being so many this yr when there were none last yr n the jiro was like “aa ur tsukasa” n we started talking abt ES a lil bit n the anime then i complimented their ritsu+mao plushies on their bag n left!

after that i just roamed the halls until 8 pm. then the v0ltron panel! keith n lance hd like, a roasting rivalry going on n keith was like “i keep getting bullied! i dont deserve this!” n i kept askiing questions. me, a green ranger, a dave, n the dave’s friend were mainly the ones asking questions lmao. anyway keithd b like “lance dont touch me oh ew” and i asked keith what his fav anime was since he said he was a weeb n he said blue ex0rcist n i asked keith if hed seen LL (bc LL cosplayers were dancing to the music outside the panel room n i heard it) n lance was like “oh yea, he knows all the dances. he does them in his room” n keith denied it n at one point, i was like “since keith n lance share one braincell, who has it the most” n they said keith. the bonding moment was also mentioned a lot and alluras death n how lance can get much more “game” than keith (like, ladies. sorry im tired they might hav used another term) and an amami in the audience told lance to fortnite dance with him aftr thelance fortnite danced n!! just. a lot happened. it was a very casual-ish panel imo. haha.

after that i 4got that the bn-ha panel was at 10 not 9 so i just decided to wander then hit up the dance floor for most of the duration n i spotted the juto n sama n a nurse ramuda that i remember the samus talking abt n also someone who looked like the arashi the samus showed me but in an ali!ce madeness returns dress o i asked the ramuda for a pic and then started dancing and the juto got into one of the dance circles n just started going hard as HELL n i was just dancing in the area they were near n out of the corner of my eye i’d see juto just absolutely KILLING IT w their dance moves bc they were dancing in front of their friends (occasionally w samatoki or posing w them) n i was just jamming out n during a slow song i pulled up a pic of chiaki on my ipad n started slowdancing w my ipad n the girl near me was like “that’s a Mood” n i think i heard the possibly-arashi n the others laugh a bit bc i was slow-dancing w “chiaki’ haha but god the dance floor was WILD! there was a guy w a saxophone at some point playing along w the music then a guy w a guitar! n we yelled lyrice to dont stop believing n stuff.

the the bn-ha panel! ...i was bored. most of the time i put tape on my leo sign and looked up wigs on ebay n stuff n sometimes i couldnt hear v well bc i sat near the back. they started up like, truth or dare but w a beach ball to decide who got to ask the dare or w/e? but i noticed a gentaro in the back of the room so i was like “ill just wait until the end of the panel then ask for their picture” then trivia started n they eventually asked what episode dabi appeared in n i was thinking “ep 7 of the most recent season” n some guy guessed that (he was the only one who fuessed) but the izuku n katsuki looked at their paper n i heard them mutter “episode 31″ so after somebody guessed ep 42 n the panelists said ‘”guess between 30-42--” i said ep 31 n went up n got a pack of aiw stickers but i shoulve taken the superhero shirt tbh. aftr that i decided to leave n asked the gentaro for a pic n they were one of the ryuus earlier they said n also a jakuarai from yesterday! they were like “oh! ur the tsukasa i keep seeing/running into!” n i was like “oh! hi!”

idk what convo this was in but someone was like “do u like how they did anzu?” n i was like “oh she’s so cute they rly said Fuck Anzu Haters” n they agreed.

#i shouldve added more but it's 5 am n i need to b awake at 8:10 am lmao goodnight #con diary

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