#Myth & Kat read WS

[longsightmyth]

So it begins.

[longsightmyth]

I'm doing my usual tweaking comments as I go. Words mean things? This looks like one of my second drafts?

Maybe it gets better?

When you read WS, can you please pay attention to editing? I found it to be abysmal, but maybe it's just me. There are so many little things that are off; as if chunks of text were deleted in between without any attempt to even things out. It is very jarring. I really want to know what others think about it.

ohhh you better believe i’m focusing on editing 😂 i mentioned to Myth that it reads like, at best, a third draft, and its prose (okay the writing overall) really needs fine-tuning. she seems to have gone the route of trying to be ~epique~ through fragments, awkward phrasing, and too many emphasized sentences that only result in everything being flat.

so yes, i’ll definitely be focusing on editing and i am definitely looking forward to it 😎

[longsightmyth]

SO. There’s this book that’s out now. It’s caused some controversy. I was excited when I first heard about it. @spaceshipkat  was wary.

Kat was probably right to be wary.

THAT BEING SAID. We’re gonna do a practice cooperative chapter-by-chapter for WS by ED, because Kat keeps getting asks about it and I want to read it, but like. With backup.

Kat has sent me some screenshots. I’m hoping it gets better.

Keep an eye out in the next couple of days for chapter 1 of our chapter-by-chapter reread of W/icke/d S/aint/s (tagged Myth & Kat read WS). I feel like there should be a codeword for this.

Please be patient while we figure out our format, it’s probably going to evolve.

[longsightmyth]

Myth & Kat Read WS, Chapter 1

(Kat’s post is here)

Myth’s First Impressions:

I am unwowed but my optimism is uncowed. Or something.

The first chapter doesn’t have to wow me, though. It just has to introduce me to the world and the characters.

Frankly I think the events of this chapter should have come later in the book, when we already had context and cared about the characters or at least understood that the main character cared about them. As someone who has written something that killed off a character early for supposed emotional impact… well. I wish I’d taken more time to develop Goldor before killing him off. I wish the author here had taken more time to ensure we knew K/osty/a better so we cared too.

Second Impressions (aka status updates the second time I read the chapter);

I’m unimpressed by the scripture. Step up your game, author. (I say as someone who likes to include this sort of thing in her writing and usually ends up removing it later, but I love it when it’s done well, like in Pellinor)

The author decided to explain what vespers were. Vespers are an actual thing irl.

‘She hadn’t anticipated losing her entire day to remedial labor, yet here she was.” Did you maybe mean menial labor?

Unlike Kat, I am amused by the pettiness of the potato inner monologue.

I am not, however, amused by the dialogue.

I wish we had seen the prank in action. I think it would have given some good insight into K/osty/a and the world at large.

Why are we using dull kitchen blades

Let the Sarah Janet prose begin I guess

Hey a semicolon! Pretty sure it should be a colon, but whatever

Why are we translating words used in the narrative directly to english terms

“When N/ady/a prayed, gods listened.” There I made it more dramatic for you and saved space. You’re welcome. (you don’t need to tell us that’s valuable or scary, that’s pretty clear)

This is so far very explain-y, but I think if we had a little more context and a little less exposition I would be enjoying myself.

The gods are not very godlike. Your mileage may vary.

Unclear if the T/ranavian/s actually know N/ady/a exists, let alone that she’s at the monastery. They could just be going for a tactical target in their holy war. In a book that explains so much else in exposition, this seems like a strange thing to omit.

“It’s over, T/ranavian/s! We have the high ground!” - all I can hear even the second time around.

I told Kat this when I was reading the chapter the first time and she agrees with me on part but not all of this: this really feels like it’s first person PoV that somehow got morphed into third person? Like, I feel like I’m reading first person, so every time I read about N/ady/a in third person it’s a shock.

Her hand isn’t frostbitten, it’s covered in magic ice. Words mean things.

Why would a character raised to believe in gods who also grew up conversing with them be shaken by their omnipresence? Maybe if we had more on the religion this would be explained.

Honestly I’d have been okay with the narrative telling me to feel things here if I knew more about K/osty/a.

Final Impressions:

I still think this should have been a second or third chapter after we spent some time at the monastery and met the people involved so it would have more of an emotional punch. The prose is… sloppy isn’t the right term. It feels unfinished, I guess? But it’s salvageable, and I think it could be much improved by removing 90% of the exposition to make room for character development that would show us how the world works and how these people interact with each other and their environment. THAT BEING SAID: depending on how the holy war aspect is handled, I could be all over this. Is it weird to say that I love a good fictional holy war?

BONUS:

Title is pretty cool at the outset and has the advantage of not being a ___ of ___ thingy. Jury is out on how relevant it will be, but I have hopes! (hiiiiiigh hopes/ musical interlude)

Kat Responds:

What’s hilarious is that I’ve seen so many reviews talk about how they love the scripture at the beginning of each chapter, since they seem to feel that it weaves more world-building into the book and also introduces us to the pantheon, but imo they really don’t serve their purpose. Maybe it’s just me, but I tend to skip over things that are right below the chapter header, which makes the purpose moot. And honestly, if you have to weave world-building in that way, the book itself needs some serious work.

I actually laughed at remedial vs menial.

The whole dull kitchen blades thing could’ve been interesting, if Father Alexei was supposed to be someone we dislike, since it’d show us if he trusted Nadya and Kostya or not (they’re not guarded, which implies he trusts them, but the dull blades thing doesn’t make any sense). Instead, we’re supposed to care for him, despite the opening paragraphs, and love his faith in allowing Nadya to fight (but that’s in chapter 2, where I rant a lot, so I’ll hold myself back here ahem).

I think the lack of explanation for why the Trana/vians are there and why they’re after Nadya is supposed to be some big secret from the reader, despite the fact it only serves to make us frustrated. You shouldn’t have to build up tension through withholding information, especially something that a person would normally think about.

I, too, love a holy war because they’re fascinating to read about, considering religion is such a huge driving force no matter where you are in the world (even if you aren’t religious yourself, chances are you are still aware of/impacted by it). I think what makes me wary is the way the gods are being introduced, or the lack thereof, because this entire chapter plonks us into the story without building anything up/making us understand and empathize with Nadya. I’m definitely still going forward with an open mind, but this first chapter doesn’t wow me at all. The foundation is there but little else.

[longsightmyth]

Yep! My notes were just to demonstrate that I was working on my part. Otherwise there would be more pictures of more pages!

Will you type up each page of notes from WS and post on tumblr? It’s difficult to read your handwriting (no insult intended, though! Just difficult to have to zoom in and scroll around)

that’s actually @longsightmyth’s writing 😂 (but my handwriting is chicken scratch, tbh, so i’d never subject anyone to reading it) so let me explain how we’re gonna do this: both of us are reading the book chapter by chapter and taking notes/picking out excerpts to share, which we’ll write up separately. then we’ll be comparing notes while we draft up our individual posts but reference each other’s/link to each other’s, especially if one of us has a thought the other didn’t or if we have the same reaction to something in the book. we’re trying out some new things before we dive into CCity next January when it releases, so this may/may not be what we decide to stick with as we go along, if it doesn’t work, or it might be great and thus be the way we stick with. :)

[longsightmyth]

Feel free to hit us up with suggestions! I won't say no to something that ToG shares some Suspiscious Similarities with for the sake of saving me some time on that front.

I understand your feelings about not wanting to review WS. I just want to say that I feel sorry that ED situation is the way it is. I have no words for this situation. Anyway, this was just a letter of support to tell you that I love your blog and your writing/publishing advice. It really sucks that there are authors like ED out there.

hey thanks, you, for all of the above

yeah it wasn’t an easy decision to hold off on reading WS on here for the time being, especially bc it was a lot of fun to read it with Myth and the book itself is chock-full of issues that need some dissecting, but the author just isn’t someone who would leave readers alone. i mean, her twitter feed is…startling, for lack of a better term. it’s amazing how her agent and editor, at the very least, don’t tell her to cool it. and i do still want to find another book to read in the meantime, so Myth and i can have more practice before CCity comes out to see what does and doesn’t work, but i’m not sure which one yet. 

[longsightmyth]

Count me in on the questions. A lot of times they bring up things I hadn't considered or can answer MY questions.

oh I am so excited to see you guys read ws! I finished it last week and was n o t super impressed by it, especially with everything that happened surrounding it

yesssss i’m really excited to read it! i started it without any intentions to live read it here, but after the first few pages i started noticing there as a lot to talk about, and it’d actually be a good learning method? since this book is being heralded as something groundbreaking, and since so many people are falling in love with it. so yeah it’s definitely gonna be fun 😎

and when we start posting, my inbox is always open for people to react or respond! (also, just a general request for anyone who happens across the posts: please do not send them ED’s way. she’s not why we’re talking about the book, and this isn’t an “anti ws” thing. it’s merely Myth and i reading the book and sharing updates here rather than on Pinterest)

[longsightmyth]

So it begins.

[longsightmyth]

Many fewer em-dashes and different punctuation though! It's just the fragments and a few scattered 'LOOK AT HOW DRAMATIC THIS IS' moments so far, to be fair.

So it begins.

[longsightmyth]

Many fewer em-dashes and different punctuation though! It's just the fragments and a few scattered 'LOOK AT HOW DRAMATIC THIS IS' moments so far, to be fair.

So it begins.

[longsightmyth]

Also I'd write more neatly and much larger if I expected y'all to read my handwriting, I promise!

Will you type up each page of notes from WS and post on tumblr? It’s difficult to read your handwriting (no insult intended, though! Just difficult to have to zoom in and scroll around)

that’s actually @longsightmyth’s writing 😂 (but my handwriting is chicken scratch, tbh, so i’d never subject anyone to reading it) so let me explain how we’re gonna do this: both of us are reading the book chapter by chapter and taking notes/picking out excerpts to share, which we’ll write up separately. then we’ll be comparing notes while we draft up our individual posts but reference each other’s/link to each other’s, especially if one of us has a thought the other didn’t or if we have the same reaction to something in the book. we’re trying out some new things before we dive into CCity next January when it releases, so this may/may not be what we decide to stick with as we go along, if it doesn’t work, or it might be great and thus be the way we stick with. :)