#My personal favourite is from a Nano a few years back

[anonarat]

Put in the tags your favourite bit of worldbuilding that you've created.

Go!

[tmarshconnors]

Look Back at the iPod Revolution

By TMC – October 23, 2024

Twenty-three years ago today, the world changed forever, though many of us didn’t realize it at the time. On October 23, 2001, Apple introduced the iPod, a device that promised to put “1,000 songs in your pocket.” And with that, our relationship with music, technology, and even culture itself took a massive leap forward.

Looking back, it's hard to imagine a world without the iPod. For millennials like myself, the iPod became a personal treasure chest of music, freeing us from the limitations of bulky CD players or cassette Walkmans. Before the iPod, managing a music collection was a clunky, physical affair—carrying around CDs or carefully making mixtapes. Then Apple changed the game.

The original iPod wasn’t the first MP3 player, but it was, without question, the most revolutionary. With its sleek design, intuitive scroll wheel, and the ability to store an entire music library on one small device, it redefined how we interacted with music. Suddenly, 1,000 songs, curated to your personal taste, were always at your fingertips.

A Moment of Technological History

The iPod’s launch was a watershed moment for Apple and marked the beginning of the company's ascent to becoming a tech powerhouse. Just a few years before, Apple was struggling, considered by many as a niche company with a relatively small audience. The iPod, however, wasn't just for techies or creatives—it was for everyone.

Steve Jobs famously pitched the iPod as "1,000 songs in your pocket" during the original presentation, and it was genius in its simplicity. The iPod wasn't just about storage capacity; it was about convenience, lifestyle, and bringing joy through music. Apple understood that people didn't just listen to music; they lived it. The ability to carry an entire personal soundtrack wherever you went wasn’t just innovative—it was liberating.

The Evolution of the iPod

The original iPod has since morphed through countless iterations—from the iPod Mini to the iPod Nano, iPod Shuffle, and the beloved iPod Touch, which blended the iPhone experience without the phone. But no matter the form, each version maintained the same core promise: music without compromise. Whether you were a casual listener or an audiophile, the iPod changed how we consumed music, transitioning us into the world of digital files and, eventually, streaming.

For someone like me, whose love for photography, history, and technology intersect, the iPod represents more than just a music player. It was a cultural artefact, an expression of personal taste, and a symbol of how technology could seamlessly blend into our everyday lives. It was part of the movement toward personalization and digital independence. You weren't just listening to what radio stations pushed at you; you were curating a soundtrack to your life, selecting what mattered most to you.

In today’s world of streaming services and smartphones, the iPod may feel quaint. Services like Apple Music, Spotify, and YouTube Music have made accessing an endless library of songs nearly instantaneous. But the spirit of the iPod lives on in every playlist we make, every mood-based album we throw on during a morning jog, and every carefully curated collection of favourite tracks we build in a streaming app. The device that once physically fit in our pocket now exists digitally in the cloud, but the idea—the freedom to access music anywhere, anytime—was born with the iPod.

It’s worth taking a moment today to remember just how groundbreaking the iPod was. The first iPod marked the beginning of an era where technology became more personal, more integrated into our everyday experiences. It wasn't just a gadget; it was part of who we were music lovers, explorers, and storytellers.

For me, that first iPod is a memory of discovering music in a whole new way—whether it was playing with friends while listening to the latest tunes or traveling with the perfect soundtrack in my ear. It made music not just portable but personal.

Today, as I sit here with my iPhone 16 Pro, which effortlessly streams millions of songs through Apple Music, I can't help but feel nostalgic for that original iPod. It was a symbol of where we were headed, a hint at the technological revolution we were on the cusp of.

The iPod was more than just “1,000 songs in your pocket.” It was a promise—that the future of technology could be both powerful and deeply personal. And in many ways, Apple fulfilled that promise, shaping the world we live in today.

So, here's to the iPod, the little white box that put the world of music in our hands and set the stage for the future of technology. Though it's no longer with us, its legacy is everywhere—in our pockets, our playlists, and the way we experience the sounds that shape our lives.

TMC

[randombtsprincessa]

Content Tag Game!

Tagged by my babies Dia and Maria ( @yoonia​ and @joyfulhopelox​) to answer these content queries and dish some dirt on me whoops!

Here we go!

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)? 

Well I for one thought that I would never write for Twilight again. I wrote Touch in the Worlds as a practice and just to get the feel of how writing and the posting worked online. I was very sure I wouldn’t visit the fandom again for obvious reasons, but yeah, I have recently gotten another idea for it for another character that many asked for in comments.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? 

I am writing for Kpop (BTS) and currently have two works for Harry Potter!

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog? 

I began writing in 4th grade. Silly me also tried to make a club out of it with a few friends but yeah lol, that tanked. I mostly tried to write Horror back then because I was a hardcore Goosebumps fan. Writing kind of took a back seat to my music and dancing before making a vicious comeback. 

I made this blog to follow SuperWhoLock and other shows. Before I refurbished it to accomodate my writings. Then in 2017, I purged it again at the same time as Tumblr underwent it’s own mess of thingy.

4. on which platforms do you post your stories? 

I post on FF.net, Wattpad, Tumblr, Ao3 and Inkitt.

5. what is your favourite genre to write? 

I love smangst with fluff. Of course, like any deprived emotionally person I do do fluff because where would we be in life without it. I love the tropes of E2L, Estranged Lovers coming together, balancing otherwise unbalanced dynamics etc. Also woman empowerment because hell yes.

6. are you a pantser or a planner? 

I’ a firm swinger between the two. Usually for writing projects, like NANO i have a plan but well, when I get an idea hit, I usually just write how I see it in my head (I’m a visual imaginator). Series require more planning than one-shots.  

7. one shot or multi-chapter? 

Depends on the stories I cook up. Many of them might be finished and reach the proper catharsis in one chapter but many others aren’t stories that can be wrapped up in one sitting.

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion? 

Don’t ask me. I have a problem with word counts. Ask my undergrad professors.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete? 

I still think my longest is Touch in the Worlds. Its four books and over 200k so. Yep, it’s done and over with.

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I. ADORE writing Autumn Leaves, mostly because my MC is lowkey brilliant. She’s a living embodiment of all the mistakes the HP characters made corrected. For BTS, I loved writing Aberrations. I’m going to have the same fun when I get to the ‘part’ in Achilles Heart. hehehe...otherwise in the future some works are *satan grins*

11. favourite request you’ve have written and why (if any?) 

I wasn’t sure if I was going to be writing a sequel for Bed Bereft. But people have asked and yep it’s coming (plotted already and I will enjoy it)

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories? 

I’ve been told I write women in relationships well. Honestly if I wanted a break down of what I as a writer have done nicely in my BTS fics it would be a question for people like @jimins-ass-eater, @stealth-liberal and @cuziloveyou7

13. current number of wips? 

Outrageous and increasing. I have a lot of chapters to upload lol.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing? 

Some fics I have noticed are purely for a particular mindset. I wrote Asylum in my down time and Ambrosia is going to be the same. I tend to aim to be realistic. I am 23 years old, I have seen a few things that deserve to be addressed and I do that in my fics. Oh, and if I am writing for Namjoon, you can expect my philosophical side to jump right out and ramble in that fic. 

15. a quote you like from a published story.

● Series:

There was nothing soothing about people watching.

Or maybe there was and it required some form of inner peace to find the charm in it.

You didn’t have that sort of inner peace; neither did you have the patience for it.

- Belladonna, Chapter 1

● One-shot:

All the stories that showed that Princesses would be rescued fell short at one crucial juncture.

No one told the story about the cursed princess who was ugly, who was a monster, who wasn’t the pale skinned beauty in a glass case or silk bed.

No, nobody came to save the ugly princess and over time you learned to see yourself just that.

This man – this Jimin, would be no exception.

“After all, what’s to love?” You muttered.

You vowed not to weep. Not for a man, not for the humanity that judged who was worthy of love.

- Blackthorn Creek

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

Jimin didn’t reply, carefully placing a donut on a small, pristine white plate. “I don’t think there’s anyone who just was born wrong. Everyone has reasons, everyone has stories. Things that happen to people to make them the way they are at present. It’s harsh to judge a person’s future for what the past did to them in the present.”

His eyes flickered up to glance out the window. At the edge of the park, right along the lines separating the background of the city from the forefront stood an old Honda. On it was perched a single girl.

“Like her.”

- Brownie Points

17. space for you to say something to your readers. 

I want to thank each and every single one of them. On tumblr and out of it. I know I miss out on a lot of interaction but I want you all to know that you always have an ear and shoulder available on my blog. I want you to know that these fics I write are for more than just your enjoyment. It’s for them to maybe find a part of them resonating inside of you and if I achieve that then that would be my biggest achievement. I love you all and your encouragement is literally the reason I and many other content creators are still here.

Tagging: @avveh @serooks @softyoongiionly @hobidreams @jungkxook @joonscypher @hobiwonder @bangtanhome @joheunsaram @kookdiaries @ressjeon @kithtaehyung-main @vyduan @rosietae @kookingtae and anyone else who wants to do this!

[finnicks]

december fic update

november turned out to be the personal month for me that i expected it to be, so december is all about gently getting back into my writing rhythm.

hey, so, i won nano with 70k! (i have no idea where 2k went for my nano stats, but my word count log says 70k for november!)

you came back as the underdog in progress — i am currently reworking part eleven. something i was trying to do with it simply wasn't working, so it needs tweaks and some rewrites to get to a good place. since it's the penultimate chapter, i want to make sure it begins to tie off the most important character and plot points for this story so that it's satisfying for anyone who doesn't want to continue reading anything in this universe. (why wouldn't you, though!? the sequel is introducing one of my favourite marvel characters—one of the best characters to ever exist!)

i have fault lines in my bones in progress — i unfucked this fic by changing a scene's location. \o/ i'm planning to get a few parts down before i start posting again. the schedule for this one won't be like it was before (i think i just posted at random!) and most likely will be loosely followed.

exchanges if you're subscribed to me, you'll be receiving a few notifications about exchange fic i've been writing! there are a few more exchanges left in december, and then that should chill out from january onward (no promises). i've written ships and characters and fandoms i've never written before—and in some cases, never would've thought to write! (some of these fandoms are ones i've loved for years and never had the guts to write for, so, i'm super excited and proud of my exchange catalogue.)

i've written a lot of fic i'm proud of, so i hope you check them out!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

How do you like NaNo so far?

Okay tea! It’s going okay! Honestly, it’s not going as well as I expected but also going... better than I expected (simultaneously lol)!

I’ve been tracking a LOT of things, so on my MyWriteClub, I track if I’ve written that day (I’ve written 12/19 days of the month so far), and I’ve also been tracking on NaNoWriMo’s website (I’ve written just over 4300 words this month). This is a pretty solid streak, and I’ve definitely been writing WAY more often than I usually do, and enjoying it WAY more because of where I’m at in the book.

Y’all, I gotta say it... I love Feeding Habits. I’ve got a huge, huge problem with writing a book, loving it, then feeling embarrassed by it after a few weeks of finishing it, and with Feeding Habits, I’ve been extra hard on it. It’s not that I feel embarrassed by it like I do Moth Work (this is a whole other issue), it’s just been two moods: grueling to write, or magnificent. Most of the time, it’s been grueling, and I have a really hard time not enjoying drafting because it’s my favourite thing about writing and so that affects my mental health, etc, etc. So when I, in this moment, am saying I love Feeding Habits, I just want myself to fully, 100% feel this way, because I know, with the last few books I’ve written, it doesn’t last (not to be pessimistic, but to be grateful for where I am).

NaNo is actually not all that different to me usually writing proces. I actually always think about writing every day, it’s just about 1/7 days a week I may actually do it, more if I’m in a good patch. I can’t give NaNo full credit for my productivity, however. I am in a really great place in Feeding Habits right now, and NaNo occurred right at the start of that, so it was really coincidence and timing that I’m currently doing okay in the book, and therefore, able to produce. I’ve mentioned that I just can’t write when I’m mentally unwell, and that not writing furthers that mental unwellness and so I’m really, really happy with how this month is going with writing right now. I don’t feel heavy, I feel I’ve written a lot of great (and very gay <3) stuff, and I’m so pleased.

I am only tracking NaNo progress for Feeding Habits specifically because I wanted to put more attention on it, and I definitely think it has been successful in that regard! I’ve been doing tons of other writing though, either for classes, or personal stuff (do not ask me how submitting a poem at 11:59pm on the day of the deadline went hahaha), so I feel like I’m... thriving??

Excerpts from Feeding Habits stuff I’ve been working on recently under the cut!

This is the boys’ first ever conversation in months and in the book:

A canoe-rental kiosk ruching the Hudson River. Harrison pays for a two-hour time slot with the last of his savings and lugs it to the shoreline by himself. It is nearly midnight, the sky clogged with fog and moonlight.

Lonan will not enter the water. Back near the kiosk, he fiddles with a beachstone, bathing in tungsten from the streetlamp above him. He gave no reason for his rejection, just picked stones as they walked along the boardwalk, through the parking lot, to the kiosk. As if he’d polish them, feed them through a rock tumbler as if he has patience for that, tend to them like infants, shape, polish, burnish, sell them for thirty dollars a piece and donate the money, as if has the mind to.

Harrison shifts the canoe perpendicular to the water and steps in. The boat cranks under his weight, its coldness seeping through his jeans.

Lonan stoops for more stones. His knees luminescing in white sand. His hair oilslick, cropped to his scalp like blunt grass. His fingers arrowing through sand, a raven filching seed. He unearths the stones with urgency, a paleontologist, a gravedigger.

“You’ll never make a sale on those,” Harrison shouts from the canoe. His voice splinters the night and puffs with the sand.

Lonan nearly drops his handful of stones. It takes him a moment to look up, and when he does, he searches the treeline first, the windows of a parked SUV, the gaps between a thicket of lifejackets before reaching Harrison, and he’s so deerlike, Harrison thinks, he’s so limp, so feeble, so susceptible. His hair jutting briefly from his scalp like an accordion, badly cut probably because Eliza likes it that way. His skin nearly lilac in places, a gauntness in his face, a hunger.

“My mother tells me you like her cooking,” he continues. “That you’re here for your sister. That you’re here alone.”

Lonan reaches for another stone.

“Eliza wants you to look like a deacon.” Harrison frills a hand toward his hair, snaps his fingers like scissors. “So holy. I could ordain you right now. Make you born-again. There’s so much water.”

“I don’t swim,” Lonan says. He reaches for another stone, then another so his palms turn into one.

“You don’t? You’re a land mammal. Rhinoceros. Hippopotamus. Is it the stones? You’re afraid they’ll sink you?”

CANOE SHENANIGANS (#BOYSINABOAT):

Harrison shuffles forward until their knees touch. He reaches. He makes contact. He touches his skin. He touches his ear. He touches cheek. He touches eyes, fingerprints his irises, wrings the tears from his eyelashes, pulls his face by the jaw, cradling his land mammal. He is crying. They should both cry. They are both crying. Their own lake puddling in Harrison’s palm. Theirs as Harrison dips his free hand into the water. Theirs as he hushes Lonan’s writhing. Theirs as he christens him, the water gorging his eyes, his nose, his mouth. Theirs as he promises it will be okay. Theirs as he says he will get to know this stranger. Theirs as they promise to both regrow. Theirs as Harrison jerks the canoe. Theirs as they capsize. Theirs as they reunite in fizzing tide, caught in the river, both animals trapped in amber.

Some context for this next excerpt: Lonan and Harrison get into shenanigans the night before, Harrison ~robs Lonan, abandons him, and yeets himself to the barn mentioned in chapter six where he falls asleep for the night. Here, he wakes up at dawn and is coming up with an excuse to explain why he’s there early to the homeowners. He decides, since they hired him to fix up their barn, he’ll just say he was trying to be a good worker:

Harrison fixes himself in the reflection of an overturned wheelbarrow, its silver belly clouded with rust. He exists the barn dry, well-rested, a richer, more fashionable man.

Before he even finishes ascending the veranda of the Harvey house, Sharleen opens the door. Her white hair is pearled into a bun. She wears a paisley patterned apron, chartreuse.

“Raspberry danishes,” Harrison says. “All I wanted was to bring you some fresh raspberry danishes, but all the bakeries were closed.”

Sharleen rolls up her sleeves. Her hands are caked with flour and fat.

“I considered tulips, but realized I’ve never asked for your favourite flower. Is it tulips? Hydrangeas? Chrysanthemums?”

Sharleen juts open the screen door and holds it open for him. He enters the foyer, and it smells like cinnamon, like sugar.

“I’ve heard marigolds are helpful for warding off squirrels,” he says, taking the hand she offers for his jacket. Sharleen doesn’t jump when he runs his finger across her wedding band and pecks her knuckles with his mouth. She doesn’t even speak. “Is that true?” as they usher toward the kitchen. “Pretty and purposeful. Sounds fake.”

Sharleen dusts her hands on her apron and jars open the kitchen door.

“Could be a double whammy. Or a scam. Or an old wives’ tale,” Harrison says as they walk into the kitchen, so occupied with the marigolds he does not notice when Sharleen returns to the stove to flip a pancake, so occupied, when he turns to the kitchen table, expecting only Harvey but seeing Lonan, all he says is, “Sounds too good to be true.”

The embarrassing aftermath of that lmfao :)

Harrison eats his pancakes on the porch. The Harveys’ dog joins him, a golden retriever named Leila. He cuts her a rift of cake and slots it into her mouth when she whines. One bite for him, another for Leila. Him, Leila, him, Leila. The good news is since he fixed their coffee machine, he now drinks drip.

It does not take long for Lonan to follow him outside. Harrison’s known this was inevitable and has dreaded the last five minutes because of it. He slits another triangle of pancake and feeds it to the dog.

It’s too cold to be out without a jacket. Wind nips Harrison’s ears and icicles his fingertips. Lonan’s shirt, the pale blue button-up he nabbed knowing he’d have cash, brays under the breeze, barely denser than a tissue.

So, after Harrison knocks them into the water (lol), this happens. My favourite description of Lonan: grass, and speck. (TW murder-y??):

“Pull me under,” Lonan said, spitting water, his voice grating under pressure. He trembled, his limbs his betrayal, tremoloing in the waves.

And Harrison did. Dousing him by the shoulders and holding him under so only he floated in the miniscule gap of air, Lonan a sunken, thrashing speck. It was thrilling, holding a body in his hands, determining its fate. And equally as thrilling to hold it as he lulled Lonan back up and over his shoulder where he deflated, gasping. At first Lonan coughed, once twice, heaving saltwater and saliva. But then a birdlike sound, compact but jittering, the wisp of a laugh, and Harrison couldn’t help but wonder if he was thrilled, too

“Do you feel accomplished, Harrison?” Lonan asked, his teeth prattling like an accordion. His hand trailed up the tail of his jacket, scrawling along the soaked leather. Lonan shifted, his body dead weight nearly drowned. And there was the sound again, chirping, “You’re not the first person who’s tried to kill me this year. Congratulations.”

So the tea is that Harrison robs Lonan by swapping shirts with him (tea tea tea), so here’s that scene where they re-swap and Harrison pesters Lonan about not marrying Eliza:

“Why won’t you marry her?” Harrison asks. “You could have children. A honeymoon.”

Lonan stuffs his free hand into his pocket. His breath fogs with every exhale, his nose pinkish with cold. Harrison doesn’t feel any of it, the breath, the cold, his hands. He doesn’t move to button up his flannel. He doesn’t want to move.

“You’re going back to her. You’re here to check on Reeve, and then you’re going back. To get married. To have children. To honeymoon forever.”

Lonan’s hair is awful. Spoking from his scalp like a raven’s wings, some sections ragged, uneven. Not a haircut, but punishment.

“You’re perfect,” Harrison says. He should being shivering, be freezing, but he feels nothing. “Why can’t you say you’re perfect?”

Lonan moves first. They could reabsorb. Go back to blue. But he only reaches for the flannel with his free hand and drapes it around Harrison’s shoulders. Arm by arm, slotting them through the sleeves. Button by button, securing it up his abdomen, his chest, right up to his throat. If Harrison looks closely, one of his eyes is rimmed with scarlet, like a vessel there popped, and a pool of lilac simmers, almost undetectable, across his temple.

“You could’ve married her,” Harrison says. His voice has dropped to a whisper. Lonan swings his jacket around his shoulders, securing his arms through each loop of leather, one, two. Zipping so his exposed skin may rewarm.

“I need to take you home,” Lonan says. Lonan with the broken eye. Lonan with the blackberry skin. Lonan with the teeth-shorn shirt. Lonan with the mowed hair. Lonan with the burned palms. Lonan with the wedding ring that was never really a wedding ring. Lonan who looks as if he’s always prepared to blink, just in case something comes out to get him.

(lonan’s dialogue IS SO SOFT gay PINING said WHOMST i did i am whomst)

god i want to share more but I need to save stuff for the writing update, here’s one MORE THEN I AM GONE:

Harrison sleeps in the car on his way back and doesn’t wake until the next day. In that time, Suzanna slots takeout boxes through the unrolled window, three full meals: sweet corn and tomato fusilli, beef stifado, meatless cassoulet. What she doesn’t know is they sit, untouched, under the passenger’s seat, not because Lonan is averted by her cooking, but because he’s saving them to share, just in case. She brings a vacuum sealed bag of extra comforters the first evening when flurries dot the windshield, Harrison is swathed in them all by the time the snow reaches half an inch. One lined with Sherpa closest to his skin when he stirs, the bulbs of fabric like cottage cheese. In the time he’s in the car he dreams. Of driving into the ocean. Of haircuts. Marriage.

OK BYE

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #409

“when everything is wrong, we move along”

Are you a good kisser? I mean there's no way for me to actually know, but I guess history suggests I'm not bad. What question do you hate being asked the most? "What does your tattoo mean?" I'm so self-conscious of my "strange" interests that I can't stand that question and I get SO awkward. I know, I know, "Then why did you even get it?" Reason being it makes me happy and I don't want my fears to win anyway. What do you think the hardest part of surviving is? Just that very thing: surviving. Getting through rough patches with your sanity and good health intact. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Do you honestly hate anyone? Sometimes I think I still hate the girl Jason dated after me. It's entirely unjustified, and even knowing they're not together anymore (at least, to my knowledge), thinking of her just... makes me angry and jealous and just generally uncomfortable. I also sincerely hate someone who violated my best friend. What song did you hear last? I'm listening to a slowed down mash-up of "Circus" by Britney Spears and "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga. It's actually p dope man. Have you ever walked in on your friends having sex? YIKES no. Where do you find you take most of your naps? I nap in my bed. Do you like sleeping just wearing your underwear and a top? No. I had to do that once and I was SO uncomfortable. Are you named after a parent or grandparent? No. Who was the last person to ask you out? Girt. Do you have nice legs? No. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Do you have a nice butt? That's an even bigger "no." I have like, no ass lmao. What do you have a massive attraction towards? Some short Korean dude that is the literal avatar of "chaotic good" lmao. Have you ever made a sex tape? NOOOOOOO and I never will. How do you feel about your weight right now? I am immensely unhappy and just seriously depressed by it. Have your parents ever told you that you’re a disappointment? Oh my god, no. I would die. I feel like they think that, but they've never said or acted so. Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? They give me a feeling of peace, and I find them humbling as a tiny, mortal being that's only here for a flicker in time. They remind me to try and make use of that spark. What song’s your current favorite? I've really been digging "SAVIOR" by SWARM as of recently. Do you miss any of your exes? Yes. Did you ever take pottery class in high school? They didn't offer a course for specifically pottery; it was just included in Art. I made one or two things. Have you ever felt yourself fainting? A few times. Who’s the last boy to make you cry? Guess. His memory, anyway. Did he know that he made you cry? I honestly wonder what he'd think if he knew all these years later, I still have times where I cry over him. When’s the last time you felt like a total asshole? I don't really know. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Would you ever own a rat? I've owned quite a lot. I LOVE rats, and a part of me wants another pair, but I'm just not a great owner of pets that require so much cleaning. Would you or do you ever spank your kids? NO. I will ALWAYS say this regarding this subject: you do not teach your children through fear, nor do you instill in them, deliberately or not, that it is okay to hit people when they upset you. Have you ever considered being a cop? Nope. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive? Not long. Fish husbandry is more complicated than people make you think, so your ordinary fishbowl situation isn't going to work long. Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? My mother has. Dad has never said anything regarding this subject, thank god. That would be uncomfortable as shit. Have you ever spent over $100.00 on an article of clothing? What was it? Fuck no. Honestly, have you ever mooned or flashed somebody? No. Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? Actually, yes. I pulled the first all-nighter in eons a few days back. What was on the last sandwich you had? Ham, cheese, and mustard. Do you own a trenchcoat? Bitch I wish. Name the hardiest piece of technology you own? Christ, my iPod that I've had since middle school. Seriously, a 4th gen. iPod Nano is still running, and I use it HEAVILY. I have no fucking clue how it's still alive. Tell me the last thing you searched on the internet? A definition just to make sure I was using it correctly. Are you currently in a smoking environment? Nooooo. Ma would never allow someone to smoke in here, and I honestly wouldn't either. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? No. How about a hungover friend? No. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? You gross me out. (: Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? No. Have you ever gone in a sauna? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I would hate that SO much. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? ALWAYS wanted? Probably a ferret. I don't actually want one now, but the idea is still nice to imagine. They're such characters. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Ugggghhhh, Deadman Wonderland. It ended on SUCH a cliffhanger. I mean the manga continued, so I could've chosen to read that, but I don't read manga. Have you ever seen your parents drunk and what was your reaction? I saw my dad drunk all the time when I was younger because he was an alcoholic for as long as he lived with us. I knew he was either going to be hilarious or volatile and withdrawn. 50/50 chance. I've seen my mom drunk a couple times, and it was always surprising to me because she drinks very rarely. She's a very social and silly drunk, and it's a rare occasion where she seems happy. What’s your biggest body worry when you wear a bikini? Hunny, you would NOT see me in a bikini. Even if no one else was around, I wouldn't put one on. If you had the chance to redo high school knowing what you know now, how would you redo it? I think I probably wouldn't have dated Jason. Do you or anyone you know have an account on deviantART? I have for many, many years, and have friends that do, too. Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? HANDS. Who was the first person you made out with, and where was it? Jason, in his bed. When was the last time someone said you were attractive? WOW, who the fuck even knows. Have you ever had to pretend you were sober, even though you were wasted? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever smoked at school? No. Have you ever thrown up from working out? No. Do you think machines will take over the world? I think it's a possibility. Technology keeps advancing faster and faster that I wouldn't be all that surprised if we design them to such an advanced state that they have some sort of sentience. Is the way you typically behave congruent with your ethnic background? What the ACTUAL fuck is this question. Literally fuck off. Have you ever lived in a brand new house? No. Has the last person you kissed met your father? Yes. What’s your favourite breed of dog? I have a strong bias for beagles. As far as visual appeal of breeds goes, I REALLY couldn't tell ya. There are so many beautiful dogs. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I'm pretty obsessed with the past. Do you swear in front of your parents? Dad, freely. Around Mom, I try not to say "fuck" or "goddamn" because she really doesn't like those. I still say some words, though. It's just pure habit. What’s something that’s bothering you? I've just been having envy problems lately, and it's not an emotion I'm used to or enjoy whatsoever. Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to date? Yeah. Did any particular thing brighten up your day today? Not really. Do you know who your latest ex is dating? Nobody. What are your plans for the weekend? My sister Katie and her husband are coming to visit, and we're probably driving up to a lake that Ash and her little family stay at all the time so Katie can meet the kids. But with that storm coming through, it's questionable if we'll actually go, because it's an hour drive. When were you last in a car? Earlier today to go to the TMS office. I officially start my tapering sessions, so I won't be going every day now. Have you cried today at all? No. Have you ever gone out in public in your pajamas? That is noooot rare, honestly. Depends on where I'm going. Have you ever had bronchitis? Nope. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? Twice, I wanna say? What do you want right this second? To actually have motivation to draw a picture I have planned. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now would you accept? No. If I weren't so opposed to smoking because of the lung damage I honestly would, though. I'm curious how it would affect my anxiety. Can you control your dreams if you realize you are dreaming? No. When was the last time you cried really hard? I'm really not sure. Do you think you can last for an hour without talking? Very, very easily. I probably do that on a daily basis. Do you know anyone else with your name? Yes, but spelled differently.

[messofadream-er]

Hey guys! So I’m new to tumblr and thought it would be cool to tell you all my Swiftie story so far...

So, much like Abigail and Taylor. My best friend Eden, and I, met in school. We were inseparable from day 1. One fateful day, I asked Eden what she was listening to on her IPod Nano (Yes I am that old) and she replied ‘oh, it’s Taylor swift’

‘Who’s Taylor swift?’ I asked.

Little did I know that this would change my life forever. The first song I ever heard from Taylor, was Teardrops on my guitar. I fell in love with her lyrics, her way of painting a picture with words that you could easily envision, and I truly fell down the rabbit hole. I quickly discovered Mean, and then her second album Fearless which became the soundtrack to any situation in my life.

My friendship with Eden blossomed also, for we shared what could only be described as true magic. After finding Taylor, it was easy to ignore the bullying that came with being an outcast in school, that so many, unfortunately- can relate to. Instead of paying attention to cruel rumours, twisted whispers or shouted insults across the classroom, we choose instead to listen to Taylor. The outside, to this day, remains one of my absolute favourites.

Flash forward some years and we’re going into 2011. It’s a new year, we’re about to go up to secondary school (The beginning of high school) and I get a call from my dad.

‘Did you say it was, Taylor Swift, you liked?’

Turns out, a friend who worked in the 02 Arena London, had asked my dad if he wanted spare tickets for the Speak Now tour. Of course, we both jumped at such an amazing opportunity.

Going to the tour turned us from causal fans, into full blown swifties, going to school with 13 sharpied on our hands, singing her songs on the school bus and not caring what anyone else had to say. For we had each other, and Taylor.

When RED came out, we rushed to HMV to get our copies. We played every song on repeat while dancing around our rooms. Our parents looked on, almost befuddled as to why, and how, we loved what they perceived as, a complete stranger.

But Taylor was never a stranger, and every Swiftie will agree. Hearing her songs, feeling those lyrics and applying them to all kinds of things we all go through, well that makes Taylor our friend, a big sister, someone older and wiser, that we all look up to.

After months and months of saving up, the time came for the RED tour to be announced, and tickets to go on sale. To say that we were crazy, would be an understatement. We each took the day off school to sit at the computer, refreshing and refreshing until BAM! they were live. We managed to snatch up 4 tickets, because we were only 14 then and we needed our parents with us.

We were ecstatic. I cried for about a week. We both couldn’t believe we’d got them. The Speak Now tour, although absolutely phenomenal, had happened very quick, almost in a blur. But this time. We could prepare, we could, get Red-y!

So thus began operation ‘Road to Red’. A 6 month mission, with every detail planned to perfection, to bring our A game to the RED tour. We wanted to stand out to Taylor and show her just how much we adore her.

We decided to make a sign that spelled out ‘Love’ because the RED album was romantic and it fit the era completely. At the time, Taylor had 4 albums out. Her self-titled Debut, Fearless, Speak Now and RED. So we assigned an album to each letter of the word, we picked them out in a hat. I got Speak Now and Debut, Eden got Fearless and RED.

We cut out the shape of each letter (with help from my amazing dad) we attached tinsel & fairly lights round the outside and wrote lyrics on every letter, adding our favourite photos for each album also. It took around 3 months to finish each letter.

We then moved onto costumes. What would we wear? We brainstormed for hours and finally agreed on a very elaborate, Taylor-esque outfit. We choose American flag leggings, White tutus (similar to the one she wore while performing Treacherous) glitzy red cowboy boots, home made ‘are you ready’ T-shirts, paired with baseball jackets with ‘13’ ironed on. We also wore red cowboy hats, ‘13’ necklaces, light up belts that spelled ‘RED’, and light up gloves, with each outfit finished with carefully home made Taylor swift badges.

We then worked on our gift basket to Taylor, consisting off a Scottish Fold calendar, London teddy bear, Cat pyjamas, A cat plush wearing a ‘Meredith loves Taylor’ tee, our letters to Taylor and lots of British Tea and candy. (all wrapped up with glittery paper, light up roses and a big bow)

We were truly ready for the best night of our lives. (After convincing both our mums to wear the outfits and carry a letter)

I don’t have many words to describe how I felt as we walked through the 02 being asked for pictures with other fans, or how I felt when Taylor’s guitarist Paul spotted us and waved. Or when we were on the RED tour fan cam not once, not twice, but three times!

Enchanted. That’s the word. For those 2 and a half hours, I was absolutely wonderstruck with Taylor’s talent, the love from all the other swifties and the privilege of just being there.

Unfortunately, a few months after the tour my father passed away from depression. He was my rock, my cheerleader, and Eden and I never would have been able to make the signs and do everything else, without him.

It’s not been easy. It’s been very, very hard. There’s been a lot of changes that come with losing a parent, and a lot of healing that is still in progress but the one thing that has always been my constant, my escape, my way of surviving, is Taylor and her music.

I’ve been lucky enough to go to the 1989 and Reputation tour since. I’ve sang, danced, laughed and cried at each one. I’ve waited up all night for a new song, I’ve decoded every secret message in the album booklets and I’ve now been a Swiftie, for 10 years. (Which is crazy, I still feel 14)

If you are reading this Taylor, I want you to know that I will be forever thankful that I randomly asked my friend what was blaring from her iPod back in 2009, and that you came into my life in a whirlwind of magic. To this day, I turn to you and your beautiful, poignant words to make sense of any emotion I am feeling. When my mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2018, I sang the best day to her, and she now loves you just as much as I do.

Thank you Taylor. I hope one day I’ll be able to say this to you in person. I know so many people whose lives you’ve touched, and I know I’m just one of many, many, stars in your sky. But I hope you know,

I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you 💫

Love from Grace. ❤️

If you want to follow mine and Eden’s ‘Road to RED’ and see how we made each sign, how we planned everything and footage from the concert please see below!

[hcielh]

2021 First Quarter Sunscreen Round Up

NOTE: all non-Asian sunscreens mentioned are the versions sold in the EU/UK. if a brand sells a product with the same name in the US/Canada, the ingredients will be different! ALSO, the links are for your convenience/reference, I don’t make anything from them.

What's the most important step in your skincare routine? It'd be difficult to narrow this down to just one step, but it'd be easy to make an argument for it being sunscreen. Although I'm staunchly against 'sunscreen shaming' I tell everyone the same thing: there's no point using anti-aging or anti-oxidant products if you're not topping it off with a solid sunscreen. Many of the heavy hitting anti-acne ingredients (retinoids, AHAs) make your skin more sensitive to the sun as well, so if you use either of those it's even more important.

To make sure I get proper protection, I use 2 finger lengths of sunscreen for my face, and the same again for my neck + ears. I also reapply throughout the day (every two hours isn't realistic, but I generally do it at least twice). This means I get through SPF quickly; a 50ml tube lasts me ~2.5 weeks. With that out of the way, here’s the list in no particular order!

Skinnies Conquer SPF50+ PA++++

Filters: Uvinal A Plus, Bemotrizional, Octocrylene, Zinc oxide

✔️ No white cast*

✔️ No skin irritation

✔️ No eye irritation

Contains a fragrant EO (manuka oil)

(*although I sincerely doubt this would leave a white cast on anyone, it should be noted that I have pale-ass skin and zinc oxide is known for leaving a cast, which means it could be problematic for darker tones and it's just subtle enough that I didn't notice. proceed with caution)

Skinnies is a little controversial, because of their 'a little goes a long way' claim. I suggest watching this video from Lab Muffin Beauty Science (if you haven't already) to learn more about that. I experimented with using both a pea sized amount as suggested by the brand, and a normal amount for safety's sake.

It has a balm-like texture that you have to heat up in your hands to make spreadable, and because of its waterless formula it doesn't 'dry down' at all- so if you feel greasy putting it on at first, you'll pretty much stay greasy. I found it manageable, and if you want to trust the pea sized amount it works well at being moisturising without being too much. It may have clogged my pores, although that was definitely made worse by wearing a mask

For some reason, I really like skinnies, and if I'm wearing my normal 2 finger amount I feel very much protected because it's very water resistant - a double cleanse is entirely necessary with this one. I'm gonna wear this some more in the summer, and come back to it then

Verdict: TBD

Garnier Ambre Solaire sensitive face fluid SPF50 UVA★★★ 

Filters: Octisalate, Uvinal T 150, Tinosorb S, Avobenzone, Mexoryl XL, Mexoryl SX

✔️ No white cast

✔️ No skin irritation

✔️ No eye irritation

Unscented

I wanted to try this one because it was all over my instagram feed for a while, but it does NOT live up to the hype. Firstly, 40ml is tiny, and 3 stars for UVA isn't enough for me personally. I'd forgive this if it had a wonderful texture, but it felt strangely harsh on my skin (almost gritty... although there's nothing gritty in it), and left me looking dull, as if I didn't have a million layers of toner and serums on. But, still, props for being an affordable, white-cast free sunscreen that didn't sting my eyes.

Verdict: would not repurchase

Garnier Ambre Solaire Anti Age Super UV SPF50 UVA ★ ★ ★ ★  ★

Filters: Octocrylene, Avobenzone, Uvinal T 150, Mexoryl SX, Mexoryl XL

✔️ No white cast

❌ Minor skin irritation

❌ Stings my eyes

Unscented

I got this at the same time as the other Garnier one, kinda Just Because. This one is nicer to apply and it doesn't have that 'gritty' feeling to it. However, it irritates my skin (a tiny bit), stings my eyes after a while, and... it pills. a lot. My partner kept pointing out my neck, saying it looked like I had blobs of dead skin rolling around... not a choice look, honestly (and knowing the protection has been made patchy is even worse)

Verdict: would not repurchase

Ultrasun Extreme SPF50+ PA++++

Filters: tTnosorb M (nano), Titanium dioxide (nano), Octisalate, Tinosorb S, Uvinal A Plus, Uvinal T 150

❌ White cast ✔️ No skin irritation ❌ Eye irritation Fragrance free (but smells of sunscreen)

Sooooooooo, when it comes to cosmetic elegance, I expect less from 'extreme' sunscreens. If I'm at the beach, or running, or doing something else where getting burnt is a serious concern, I can manage a white cast or a sticky texture. But both of those, on top of stinging my eyes, and (I think) clogging my pores... nah. I don't want to say this is a bad sunscreen, I just don't think something like this is necessary in today's age. I did not feel comfortable applying the right amount of this. In a world where there are SPF50 products that won't hurt me, why settle for one that does? That's where I'm at with this

Verdict: would not repurchase

Avène Solaire Anti-Aging SPF50+

Filters: Iscotrizinol, Avobenzone, Tinosorb M, Tinosorb S

❌ Slight white cast (would be worse on dark skin)

✔️ No skin irritation

✔️ No eye irritation

Unscented

You know, when a sunscreen is just terrible, I can deal with that. It's to be expected. But when a sunscreen is this close to being flawless, the one or two minor things holding it back just sting even more. This is a wonderful sunscreen for sensitive skin, with a natural/skin-like finish that is neither drying nor greasy, is water resistant (!), and fantastic for acne - it's been my go-to for wearing under a mask for long periods. The filters used are also incredible, with the single exception of Tinosorb M, which is the cause of its fatal flaw...

It has a white cast. It isn't the worst I’ve seen, in fact on my pale skin tone it's almost unnoticeable. But it is there (of course it’d be worse on darker skin tones) and it's the only thing keeping this off of my 'favourite ever sunscreens' list, which is such. a. shame.

Verdict: may repurchase, begrudgingly

Evy Daily Defense Face Mousse SPF50+ PA++++

Filters: Octocrylene, Avobenzone, Uvinal A Plus, Tinosorb S

✔️ No white cast

✔️ No skin irritation

❌ Slight eye irritation (just be careful putting it on)

Unscented

I've been walking past Evy sunscreens for ages. something about the packaging made me assume it would be one of those nasty, sticky/pasty things. Evy, I'm so sorry! this applies like a dream, has a satin finish (i.e. neither dead- nor sweaty-looking), can be used in place of moisturiser, didn't break me out, and didn't irritate my skin. It's also sweat/water resistant. If it gets right in my eyes it stings, but it's easy enough to just avoid sticking my fingers in my eyeballs. If you're asking 'what's the catch?' well, if you're in Europe: there isn't one.

If you're in the US/Canada: it's hard af to get your hands on

If you're anywhere else: search to see if you can get it. Right now. Please!

Verdict: will repurchase, recommend to everyone, never shut up about, cry if it ever gets discontinued

Neogen Dermalogy Probiotics Sun Cream SPF50 PA++++

Filters: Octocrylene, Octinoxate, Octisalate, Avobenzone, Tinosorb S

✔️ No white cast

✔️ No skin irritation

❌ Irritated eyes

Strong, sweet fragrance

This is a decent, basic sunscreen. On the heavier/moisturising side, so only suitable for winter on my oilier skin. Made with probiotic ingredients (because what isn't nowadays), but nothing particularly stand-out (I'd rec probiotics in an earlier step such as an essence). Has a strong, sweet fragrance, which might be a pro if you hate 'sunscreen smell' or a con if you have sensitive skin. If you find this for cheap and want something for daily/mostly indoor use, this is totally worth a try- especially if you have dry skin. But for oily skin or the summer, I’d definitely say there are better ones out there.

For those who are concerned about Korean sunscreen ratings: this was NOT one which failed independent SPF testing. The ones that were, as far as I know, were all formulated by the same 2 companies. From my understanding, Neogen's products are formulated in-house, so there's no reason to avoid this one on that basis. In fact, I’d consider it a relatively trustworthy one

Verdict: would repurchase, on sale in the winter

No.7 Protect & Perfect Intense advanced SPF50+

Filters: Octocrylene, Avobenzone, Tinosorb M, Tinosorb S, Octisalate, Iscotrizinol

❌ Slight white cast (could be worse on darker skin tones)

✔️ No skin irritation

✔️ No eye irritation

Fragranced

There are a few things I like about this: it’s sold as part of a skincare line, rather than a whole like of suncare (i.e. Boots’ soltan), and it’s clearly intended for daily use. It even tells you that the 50ml pack contains 20 applications, to give users a better understanding of how much to apply (though I got through it in fewer because I also used it on my neck and hands). The texture isn’t bad—especially by western standards—it doesn’t pill, and it hasn’t irritated my eyes at all. It’s a little tacky to the touch, and leaves a slight cast that could be problematic for darker skin, but on my pale skin it disappears pretty quickly and just makes my skin look ‘glowy’ according to my partner. It’s on the shiny side, but not too much. Overall, a very ‘okay’ product that I’m not gonna run back to, but would be fine with using again

Verdict: would repurchase 

From the sunscreens I’ve tried so far this year, my favourites are the Evy Daily Defense Face Mousse and the No7 Protect & Perfect Intense Advanced Facial Sun Protection (even if it does have an unnecessarily long name). Weirdly, this list only has the one Korean sunscreen on it, when normally that’s what I use the most of! I think I’ve been influenced a little too much by what I’ve seen on IG, but going forward I’ll be sticking more to Asian sunscreens again

[jeranasblog]

Let your guard down

Notes: Welcome to my first Tumblr post ever. I’ve only used it for messaging before but decided to share one of my works. It’s basically 25k words of fluff and smut. Enjoy <3

A huge thanks to @twokinkybeans who encouraged me to share my work here.

Click here to read it on Ao3

Summary: Tony had long ago accepted that he had no soul mate. When a moment of weakness forced him to search for his perfect match, he found Peter Parker, a young man from Queens. Tony is horrified that the universe paired him with a boy, not even old enough to drink. Resisting could be so easy for Tony, if only Peter wasn’t so tempting. Now it was up to Peter to convince him that he deserved some happiness.

Chapter 1

 Tony Stark was a busy man. It wasn’t unusual for him to work more than twelve hours a day, his best friend Rhodey even jokingly claimed that he lived in the lab. Although it was meant as a joke, Tony needs to admit there is some truth behind it. More than once he has spent his nights on a sofa next to his workspace, going so far that he bought a sleeping couch at the end of his most elaborated project. But Tony is happy this way, at least he tried to convince himself.

 He had always been a workaholic, but after his divorce from Pepper six months ago, it had become only worse. The marriage between the two of them hadn’t worked out and the only thing Tony regrets is that he didn’t see it from the beginning. They were too different.

 Tony loved to work and travel, looking for a spontaneous partner who could keep up with him. Sometimes he would decide to fly to Europe the next day or to start a new project which takes hours of his sleep. He wanted a partner who wasn’t insecure in the relationship, who didn’t blame himself when Tony left the bed in the middle of the night only to work on another project.

 Pepper, however, was looking for a father for her children. She needed a man who was responsible and supportive. Someone willing to start a family in the next few years, and therefor Tony wasn’t the right one. Maybe, it would have worked out if they had met a few years later, but for now Tony wasn’t ready to give up his independency.

 Both had decided that they would remain friends. Although it didn’t work out, they had had a lot of fun together, and Tony was happy to call her a friend.

 He was still feeling bad about the divorce. The problem wasn’t losing Pepper, it was more about being alone. Tony had enjoyed spending time with someone, telling another person everything about his day or the progress he had made in the lab. Pepper wasn’t so much into engineering, but she was a good listener.

 Of course, Tony could start dating again. He loved meeting new people, taking them to expensive restaurants and learning about their lives. But Tony’s money made it complicated. He had met his fair share of gold-diggers only interested in his wealth or reputation. There had been a couple of young women trying to use his fame to start a model career. He had even dated a young man once who was only interested in Tony paying off his depts caused by his gambling problems.

 Sometimes Tony enjoyed such company, even though he knew they only go out with him because he was famous. It amused him to see their attempts to extract money from him. He had never paid more than the food of the evening, but they kept trying. Nevertheless, he wasn’t interested in a fling right now. He wanted to keep someone by his side and spoil him without being asked for.

 Tony sighed. Being alone sucked, but at least there was no more Pepper complaining about his hours of work in the lab. So he took the chance and locked himself in there, knowing he could work for hours without being interrupted.

  He was currently working on a new improvement for his Iron Man suit. Last time he had been on an Avengers mission, a drone had destroyed the chip that connected F.R.I.D.A.Y. to his suit and he had been unable to communicate with his AI. Although the suit had still been working, Tony preferred to rely on her when his life was at stake. Therefor he tried to connect Friday to every particle of his nano technology. It would take a lot of time, but he thought he could make it work.

 Tony turned on ACDC on a volume that would scare off any neighbours if he had any. After his divorce with Pepper, he had left their house in Malibu while he had kept the company and Stark Tower. Pepper could have insisted on a fair share of Stark Industries, but she understood that it was important for him. He still owned most of the company, while keeping her as the CEO. To be honest, she always did a better job than him.

 Tony had decided to move into the Stark Tower. It was empty anyway, except of a few Avengers who come and go as they please. He had enlarged the lab and had brought all the suits so he could work on them. He felt much more at home in the tower than he did in the Malibu house anyway.

 Five hours later Tony was still working in the lab. He hadn’t eaten all day, something Pepper had complained about very often. Sometimes she had ordered food for him so that he wouldn’t starve, but now with her gone there was no one but F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take care of him.

 That’s when he felt it for the first time. It started with a metallic taste on the back of his tongue. He was confused but kept working. When dizziness set in, Tony blamed the lack of food and ordered Thai from his favourite restaurant. Half an hour and a meal later, the nausea started and he could no longer work. He took a break and dropped onto a chair. When his vision began to fade he knew something was very, very wrong.

 Before he lost consciousness, he managed to get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to call Rhodey. After that everything went dark.

 ~*~

  When he opened his eyes again, everything was bright. He blinked and tried unsuccessfully to shut out the sun light that was burning in his eyes. It took a few seconds to get used to it, but then he began to see.

 He was in a hospital room. Everything was white and sterile and on his left side there was a huge window front. He lay in a bed that was set up in the middle of the room. It was untypically large and comfortable for a hospital bed, so he concluded that he was in a private and expensive room.

 The room was sparsely furnished with a TV, a closet and two chairs. He wasn’t alone in the room, Pepper and Rhodey sat by his side. Pepper sighed in relief when she saw that he was awake.

 “Where am I?” Tony’s voice sounded raspy, like he hadn’t used it in days.

 “Tony, I’m glad you’re awake. You’re in a hospital.” Rhodey explained and Tony had to suppress a snort. Of course, he could see that for himself. He wanted to know which hospital he was in, but there were more important questions.

 “What happened?” He didn’t really remember much. He’d tried to call Rhodey, and a second later everything went dark.

 “Oh Tony.” Pepper’s voice was shivering, and he could see she had been crying. “We don’t really know what happened. Rhodey and I were working when F.R.I.D.A.Y. called. You weren’t answering, so Rhodey asked her what was going on. She told us you were lying on the floor. Rhodey called 911 right away and then called me after. They took you to the hospital in a helicopter and here we are. Don't you remember anything?"

 Tony tried but shook his head after a few seconds. “I remember getting dizzy and then passing out, but I don’t know why.”

 Rhodey looked at him worried. “Maybe the doctors know more? We should've called them anyway, as soon as you woke up.”

 Tony nodded uncomfortably under his best friend’s gaze. He liked having attention, he didn't want to be the object of worry. Rhodey pressed a red button to call the doctor.

  A moment later, a middle-old man dressed in a white coat entered the room. He held a clipboard in his hand and approached them.

 “Mr. Stark, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

 “I’m okay, I guess.” Tony answered. “My head and my chest hurt, but I guess that’s normal, right?” He looked at the doctor who wasn’t answering his questions.

 Instead, he turned to Rhodey and Pepper. “I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I need to speak with Mr. Stark about his medical condition, but you're welcome to come back tomorrow.”

 Pepper and Rhodey nodded and said goodbye to Tony. Then they left the room, leaving him alone with the doctor.”

  “Well, doc. What’s up? Am I gonna be alright?” Tony was joking to cheer himself up.

 The doctor looked at him seriously. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Stark, but I think we have a problem.”

 “A problem?” Tony looked at him confused.

“I’m afraid your collapse wasn’t caused by your bad eating habits.”

 “It wasn’t?” Tony knew he sounded stupid at that moment, but he didn’t care. A bad feeling spread through his chest.

 The doctor took a deep breath. “Have you looked at your arc reactor lately?”

 Tony shook his head and slowly lowered his eyes. The blue glowing tech in the middle of his chest was familiar to him, but as soon as he became aware, he noticed the change. When he first built the arc reactor, it had emitted strong blue light. Now it glowed only weakly.

 “I never noticed it.” He really didn’t. Even though he passed a mirror every day, he never paid attention to the tech in his chest. He hated this part of his body because it reminded him of his time in Afghanistan. A time he wanted to forget.

 “Do you know what’s happening, doc?” He looked at the man, unsure how he should feel.

 “We've run some blood tests. Your body seems to reject the arc technology. If you keep wearing it, you’ll poison yourself.” The doctor sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

 Tony’s blood ran cold. He knew what it meant. “But if I don’t wear it, the metal in my chest will slowly kill me.”

 “I am really sorry, Mr. Stark. If you continue wearing the arc reactor, the plutonium will poison your blood. You need to give your body time to break down the toxin. We can cut down the amount of plutonium to stop the poisoning process, but then the magnet won’t be strong enough. The metal will start to move towards your heart again.”

 Tony swallowed, he understood. “How much time if we reduce the amount?” He sounded cold and composed, even though fear was raging inside his body.

 The doctor couldn’t look him in the eye. “A month, maybe two.”

 Tony winced and went pale. He had expected the poisoning to be severe, but one month was a very short time. He took a deep breath. “What about a surgery to remove the metal from my heart?”

 The doctor’s face was filled with pity and the billionaire couldn’t even look at him. “There is an option, but the survival rate is about five percent.”  

 His emotions threatened to surface, but he fought them off with everything he had. He didn’t want to cry in front of the man.

 Fuck, he wasn’t ready to die. He was Tony Stark, he could have anything he wanted. He had more money than he could ever spend in his whole life, his friendships with Rhodey was better than ever and he was close to coming to good terms with Pepper again. His life had been better lately, but typically for Tony it couldn’t stay like that. Something had to come up to ruin everything.

 The doctor tore him away from his ugly thoughts. “There might be a way. Have you ever heard about soulbonds?”

  Of course, Tony had heard about soul bonds before, well everybody had. He was living in a world where the universe paired each individual with a counterpart, a soul mate. Almost every adult has a name written in black ink somewhere on their body, marking them for their soulmate. It appears as soon as your partner turned twenty-one.

 They say that such a relationship is a perfect one, that soulmates are meant to be together. There is a whole bunch of crappy romance novels out there about people finding the right one and living happily ever after. They say you know you are destined for each other as soon as your mate touches your mark.

 Tony didn’t believe in that shit. He couldn’t deny the lower divorce rate of soul bonds, but there were very few people out there who actually meet their soulmates. Your other half could be living in another country and it is possible to never meet them in your whole life. If the universe really intended a soulmate to be the only one, it would at least make sure you meet your other half.

 On top of that, there are many happy people in other relationships. Your soulmate may be a perfect match, but there are other good matches out there, other possibilities of happiness.

 Over the years Tony had received many letters from people claiming to be his soulmate. He had paid no attention to them; they were fake anyway. Because Tony Stark didn’t have a soulmate.

  When he was younger, he had hoped that one day a name would appear on his body, showing him his other half. Close to his twenty-first birthday he had spent days in front of the mirror hoping his body would reveal the name of his soulmate. But it never did.

 When he turned thirty, the first doubts came. Still no sign had appeared on his body, his soulmate had to be at least nine years younger than him. Now, just over ten years later, Tony was convinced there was no other half for him. There were a bunch of people who didn’t have a soulmate, or the mate had died before his twenty-first birthday.

 Knowing that he was not sharing a bond with anyone, his hope faded.

  “I don’t have a soulmate.” Tony said dryly. “There is no tattoo on my body. There never was.”

 The doctor remained silent as his fingers tapped against his clipboard. After several minutes he started to talk again. “It might be possible that your soulmate died, but it is also possible that he is not yet twenty-one.”

 Tony looked at him in disbelief as anger seethed in his chest. It was the first moment he was unable to conceal his emotions. “Excuse me, I’m over forty. How could my soulmate be younger than twenty-one?”

 The man tried to calm him down. “There have been cases where-“

 Tony interrupted him. “I don’t care about that. I won’t molest someone not even old enough to drink.”

 “So you prefer to die?”

 Suddenly all the anger disappeared. What remained was a feeling of emptiness. It took him a couple of minutes to think about his situation.

 “You see, Mr. Stark. Having a soulmate beside you will increase the chances of survival. The human heart is weak. It’s no problem to remove the metal in your chest, but your heart may be too weak to withstand the strain Having your soul mate by your side would give your body strength to endure the surgery.”

 Tony suppressed a snort. That sounded more like a shitty romcom or advice from a horoscope, but he didn’t want to die. He pulled himself together and looked the doctor in the eye. “All right, I'll give it a shot. Just tell me what I have to do to find out if I have a soul mate.”

 The doctor smiled, appreciating his decision to fight. “There is a possibility to find out the name of your potential match without him being twenty-one.”

 Tony raised his eyebrows.

 “It’s all about magic.”

 Tony groaned, he hated magic. He’s sick of all the sparkling magic shit. He is a man of science, always trying to solve a problem using knowledge that people can understand. But he had learned firsthand from Doctor Strange that sometimes it takes more to survive. He swallowed his stubbornness and looked at the doctor again. “All right, I need another sample of your blood. I know a magician who can help you with that, but it won’t be cheap.”

 Tony shrugged; money wasn’t important. “How long will it take?”

 The doctor smiled. “For you? One days.”

 After he took a sample of Tony’s blood, the doctor left his room. Suddenly Tony started to feel alone. He tried to hold on to the hope that there might be a soulmate for him out there. Still, as soon as he closed his eyes, he began to cry. He wasn't ready to die yet. He decided he wanted to fight.

  ~*~

 When Pepper first heard about the possibility that he might die, she started to cry. She was sitting on a chair next to his hospital bed when he told her what the doctor had said.

 “But there's a five percent chance, isn't there?” She asked between ugly sobs. “And maybe you do have a soulmate.”

 Tony who had been crying all night, felt drained. There were no tears left for him, but he still felt the full fear. He sighed. “Yes, Pep. But five percent is very low.”

 “But your soulmate-“ She tried to protest, but Tony cut her short.

 “I’m forty-two years old. What are the odds I have a soulmate who isn’t even allowed to drink?” It hurt, but he needed her to focus on the situation. There was no more room for hope, he had to decide what to do.

 “Pepper, I need you to promise me one thing.” He looked at her forcefully.

 She replied immediately. “Anything.”

 “Take care of the company in case I die, okay?”

 She started crying harder and shook her head. “You’re not gonna die.” She didn’t sound sure.

 Tony sighed. “It’s possible I’ll survive, but I have to make sure SI is in safe hands in case I don’t make it.”

 “Let’s wait for the stupid magician.” He decided. “If he doesn’t give a name, I’ll sign the company over to you.”

 Pepper accepted, even though she was still trying to convince herself he would be fine.

  She was still there, when his doctor entered the room followed by a tall, skinny man who was covered in black tattoos. Tony assumed he was the magician, what a cliché. He hated the man instantly.

 “Hello, Mr. Stark.” His doctor greeted him. “I'd like you to meet Mr. Lewis. He’s the magician I told you about.”

 Tony hid his distaste for anyone involved in magic and nodded at the man.

 “If you want the result to remain private, I have to ask your friend to leave now.” The doctor pointed at Pepper, but Tony shook his head.

 “It’s fine. She can stay if she wants to. I’d tell her anyway.” His trust made Pepper smile.

 “All right, Mr. Lewis. You can start now. Mr. Stark, I’m recording your vitals during the test.”

 The magician who had been quiet, turned to Tony after the request.

 “Good afternoon, Mr. Stark.” His voice was soft and friendly. “Let me tell you briefly what I intend to do. Your doctor gave me a sample of your blood yesterday. I will perform a small ritual to reveal the name of your soulmate. It won’t hurt much.”

 The billionaire tried to be hopeful, though he doubted he had a match. With a deep breath he dispelled the bad thoughts. “Is it a common to test for a match with magic?” Tony was proud of himself, there was no sign of sarcasm in his voice.

 “Of course not, Mr. Stark.” His doctor replied. “It’s only allowed when someone is facing death. On top of that, not everyone can to afford it.”

 Tony sighed. “Can we get it over with?”

 The tattooed man nodded and asked Tony to give him his wrist. Then he drew a symbol on the inside of his arm. He was disgusted to discover that the colour was a mixture consisting of his own blood.

 The feeling that flowed through him was strange. It was like a hundred tiny pinpricks on his skin. He shivered, not really hurt but uncomfortable. Slowly a part of his right forearm turned black, revealing a name written in intricate writing: Peter Parker.

  Tony was shocked and stared incredulously at his forearm. He had never expected to really have a soulmate. Fuck, he was bound to a child who wasn’t even allowed to drink. All those years, he had wished a name would appear on his body. Now, when he was forty-two years old, he found out that he actually had a soul mate long after he had accepted that he didn't have a partner. He waited for it to turn out to be a joke, but when he looked up he saw three bewildered faces.

 The doctor was the first to get a grip and he smiled at Tony. "Wonderful news, Mr Stark. Your chances of survival have increased dramatically in the last few minutes. Congratulations."

 Tony still couldn’t believe it and looked to Pepper for help. She understood right away. “Gentleman, would you be so kind as to leave us alone for a moment?” It was her business voice.

 Tony breathed a sigh of relief when the two man had left the room. “I really have a match.” He allowed himself a first glimmer of hope. “What am I going to do now?”

 Pepper grinned at him widely. “Tony, that’s great news. Be happy first.”

 He smiled carefully. Although he didn’t really want a soulmate who could be his son, he was relieved to know he had a better chance of survival.

 He pondered for a second before turning to Pepper. “Did I have anything with me when they brought me here? Anything that might have access to F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

 “I brought your watch. Would that work?”

 Tony smiled relieved and nodded while Pepper rummaged through her purse. After a couple of seconds, she took out his gold watch.

 “F.R.I.D.A.Y. look for a boy called Peter Parker. Limit the matches to possible soulmates.” Tony demanded. “Leave out everyone above the age of twenty-one and if there are more than one hits left, look for the one most likely to be my match.”

 “There is one Peter Parker who matches your description, Sir.” The familiar voice of his KI answered.

 “Great, give me information on him. Age, family, friends, profession.”

 Tony prayed that the boy was at least eighteen years old. It would be a scandal anyway, he could not hide his tattoo forever, but he did not want to be accused of child abuse.

 “Peter Parker is twenty years old.” Tony felt the tension of the last days taken away from him. When he looked at Pepper, she showed signs of relief in equal measure. At least his match was an adult. “He lives with his aunt in New York, Queens. His parents died when he was younger. Peter is currently pursuing a PhD in biochemical engineering at NYU.”

 Tony looked impressed. However bad the soulshit is, his soulmate and he seemed to share the same interest. That was something he could work with.

 “Anything else I should know about him?”

 It was a short pause before F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. “Peter Parker is going to start an internship at Stark Industries next Monday.”

 Tony suppressed the urge to hit his head against the wall. Fuck, he was the boss of his soulmate.

  ~*~

   Peter Parker wore Anthony Stark’s name for everyone visible on his left wrist since his birth. Normally nobody was interested in a soulmark tattoo, it was a common occurrence that people have the black ink on body parts that everyone can see. Peter on the other hand tried to hide his mark as well as possible.

 The first time he had been bullied because of the tattoo was even before he had been in primary school. Not only was it unusual for a small child to have a soul mark on him (his partner had been over 21 when he still needed diapers), but the name on his wrist was Anthony Stark, billionaire and tech genius. Everyone thought Peter’s family had tattooed it there to marry him off wealthy.

 It wasn’t uncommon for parents to fake soul marks. There had been a couple of celebrity scandals where fans younger than twenty-one claimed to be the soulmate of the famous person. It turned out to be a lie when the celebrities touched the soulmarks without feeling a spark and they discovered it was just a normal tattoo. That leads to rich and famous people being more careful about soul propositions, usually waiting until their match turned twenty-one.

 Peter knew it, so he didn’t even try to contact the billionaire, he wouldn’t believe him anyway. Instead, he ignored all the stupid comments of his peers and got accustomed to wear a watch every day to cover his left wrist. The only three people who knew the truth about his tattoo were his aunt May and his best friends Ned and MJ.

 Although Peter had never met Tony Stark before, he already knew they had something in common. The love of science. While the billionaire was a successful owner of the tech company Stark Industries, Peter was studied biochemical engineering at NYU. He was almost finished, which is why he applied for a Stark Industries internship. Peter had hesitated in the beginning, afraid to work for his soulmate, but in the end it was what he really wanted. He would never meet Tony Stark anyway. Well, maybe after his twenty-first birthday.

  “Peter.” His aunt interrupted him from his thoughts. “You’ll never guess what I just got.” Peter who was sitting in the middle of his bed shrugged when she shouted from the kitchen. He hadn’t even noticed that she had come home from work.

 “What happened?” He asked as he sat down at the kitchen table with her.

 With a broad grin May, took out a letter. It was plain white, but in the upper left corner was the logo of Stark Industries.

 “Gimme.” Peter ordered and saw that she hadn’t opened it yet.

 May laughed and pushed the letter closer to him. Peter had no patience, so he tore it open.

 “Read out loud.” His aunt commanded.

 He cleared his throat playfully. “Dear Mr. Parker, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

 May only started to groan. “Peter, stop the Harry Potter references. You’re such a nerd.”

 “All right, all right.” Peter giggled before he got serious again. “Dear Mr. Parker, Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted for an Internship at Stark Industries starting Monday, the…” Peter looked at the words twice. “May, it starts in five days.”

 “Well, that’s great I guess.” She starred at him questioningly. “Monday’s not gonna be a problem for you, is it?”

 Peter thought for a second but then shook his head. “No, the semester is almost over. Won’t be a problem for me.”

 May stood up, walked around the table, and gave him a big hug. “Peter, I’m so proud of you.”

 He felt happiness bubbling in his chest. He was proud of himself, too. Knowing that one day Tony Stark will find out that he was his soulmate he wanted to achieve his goals before the billionaire did. He couldn’t stand people accusing him of being successful solely because the universe had matched him with Tony Stark. He wanted to show everyone, including the billionaire, what he was capable off.

 Maybe an internship at Stark Industries was not a symbol of independence from his soul mate, but Tony could not know anything about him yet. The tattoo of his name will be revealed on his twenty-first birthday, which was three months away. No, Peter had been accepted because of his abilities and qualifications. It was a satisfying thought.

  "Let's celebrate." May made a spontaneous decision, even though it was Thursday night and she had to work early the next morning. "How do you feel about pizza? You can call Ned and MJ and ask them over. How does a Harry Potter marathon sound?"

 Peter looked at her with big eyes. "But, May, you have to work tomorrow."

 She laughed and waved his hand off. "Don't worry about me. I'll leave you alone after the second movie so I can get some sleep."

 It didn’t take him twenty minutes to prepare for his friends’ arrival. The pizza was ordered, the couch was transformed into a blanket fort and the stack of his Harry Potter DVD’s was draped in front of the TV. The movie night could come.

Chapter 2

 When Monday came around, Tony was restless. He had been discharged from the hospital last Friday and had spent the whole weekend in the lab. Although his chances of survival were increased because of Peter Parker, there was still the risk that the surgery could go wrong. Therefor he had prepared everything necessary in case he died.

 First of all, he had instructed Pepper to destroy all his Iron Man suits in case he didn’t make it. He didn’t want the government to use them as weapons. Then he had documented his projects for Stark Industries in such a way that his company's engineers could continue his work even if he couldn't do it himself. On Sunday night he had called his lawyer to amend the will he had written a few years ago.

 During the weekend he had kept himself busy, but on Monday morning nervousness returned. He needed to talk to Peter Parker and put his future in the hands of a stranger. Death or trust. He didn't want either one.

  His mood was terrible when he started his working day. His employees avoided him; Pepper had probably warned them beforehand. He’s obnoxious when he’s having a bad day and she knew it. He carried an extra-large espresso while he went looking for her.

 Tony felt guilty and that was his biggest problem. He was never very good at dealing with guilt. He still blamed himself for selling his father’s weapons all those years and he thought he was responsible for everyone he couldn’t save during an Iron Man mission. On top of that, the divorce from Pepper was on him. Of course, they hadn’t worked out together, and there are always two people in a relationship, but it was his unwillingness to change that had led to an end. At least Pepper had tried to cope with him.

 And now, he was looking for his soulmate, who was practically a minor, just to save his own life. Tony didn’t want to involve more people in his mess and definitely not in Peter-college-student-Parker who wasn’t even allowed to drink. There was no other choice, but he swore to himself that he would keep his hands of the boy until he was twenty-one. He was convinced that it couldn’t be so hard to keep it in his pants.

  Trying to keep himself together, Tony knocked on Pepper’s office door. It used to be his office before he made her CEO.

 “Hi, Peps.” He greeted her with a fake smile on his face. “How’s the plan for today?”

 Pepper sat behind her metal desk and looked up from a pile of documents as he opened the door. “Tony, good to see you. You’re not even late. Everything ok?”

 “Never better.” Tony lied and sprawled himself on a chair opposite her. He took a big sip of his extra-large espresso and enjoyed the triple shot caffeine. Closing his eyes to savour the taste Tony put his legs up on her desk. She looked at him reproachfully but didn’t say a word.

 “Are you even allowed to drink that much caffeine? Not that it worsens your… condition.” She sounded truly worried.

 Tony snorted. It was an unspoken order not to mention his health and mostly Pepper and Rhodey complied with his request. Seemed that he couldn’t always be so lucky.

 “Peps, dear.” Even Pepper understood that his cheerily voice was fake. “I’m dying of plutonium poisoning, not caffeine.”

 She slapped her hand on her desk and the sudden sound made him jump. “You are not going to die.”

 Tony raised his hands defensively to calm her down. “Ok, ok. Just kidding. I’m not gonna die.”

 She looked at him, anger written on her face. “This is not a subject for jokes.” A few seconds later she started crying, rage completely forgotten. “I’m sorry, Tony. I didn’t want to lose my temper. I’m just worried, all right?”

 Tony got up, walked around the table and took her in his arms. She clung to him as if he would vanish in the next few seconds. “I care for you, Peps. And I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, all right?”

 She nodded, took a deep breath and composed herself. “Tony, Peter will be arriving any moment for his internship. I will head him off and bring him to one of the conference rooms. You can just wait for him there.”

 The mention of the boy soured his mood a bit, but he knew he couldn’t avoid Peter. “All right. Thanks for your help, I appreciate it.”

 Pepper smiled encouragingly before she left him alone with his thoughts.

  Waiting for Peter Parker turned out to be one of the most uncomfortable situations of his life. If there was one thing Tony was afraid of, it was his thoughts, and when he was alone in the room, he had plenty of time to give in to them. He started to go crazy until a knock tore him from his thoughts.

 “Come in.”

 The door opened to reveal a vision of a boy stumbling into the room. Tony had seen many beautiful people in his life. He had dated a whole line of up-and-coming models. You'd think he'd seen everything, but nothing could have prepared him for Peter Parker.

 The photo of Peter on his driver's license that Tony had seen because of F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t do him justice. The boy was gorgeous. Milky white skin, high cheekbones and plump lips people would murder for. His brown hair was curly, and his brown eyes looked as if he was a reincarnation of Bambi himself. Tony was enchanted.

 The boy was wearing fitting dress pants and a white shirt, suitably dressed for an internship. Tony unconsciously licked his lips. The shirt emphasized Peter’s slim waist and broad shoulders and the pants did nothing to hide his muscular tights. To the billionaire, he looked like a boy straight out of his wet dreams. Shit, so much for keeping out the inappropriate thoughts until his soul mate turns twenty-one. Just great.

 “Good morning, I’m Tony Stark. Pleased to meet you.” Tony couldn’t smother the flirtatious undertone. He moved a few steps closer to the boy and hold out his hand.

 Peter stared at him somewhat confused and did not move for an uncomfortable period of time. His innocent eyes were huge, taking in Tony’s appearance. Luckily, the billionaire wore one of his best tailored suits. He couldn’t stop the warm feeling spreading inside him when the boy looked him over.

 After a few heartbeats Peter realized that he was supposed to shake the outstretched hand and he started to blush. Tony grinned smugly; the boy was wonderful.

 “I’m sorry M-Mister Stark, Sir. My name is Peter Parker.” His voice was trembling, and he squeezed Tony’s hand slightly.

 Nobody could have prepared the billionaire for this innocent touch. As soon as his fingers brushed against Peters, he felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine and his hand started to tingle. On top of that, he noticed a faint spark of arousal that startled him a little. How could a simple touch cause such feelings in him? Tony could tell by Peter’s hazy eyes that the boy felt the same.

 Tony quickly pulled back his hand, taking a deep breath to get a grip on himself. He remembered the boy’s age and the upcoming surgery. It was no time for him to lust after Peter.

 “Mr. Parker, nice to meet you. Mrs. Potts picked you up in the lobby?”

 Peter nodded, still with a confused look on his face.

 “And did she tell you why I wanted to talk to you?” Tony prayed she had already told the boy part of it, but according to Peter’s questioning face, she hadn’t.

 “No, Sir.” The boy replied overwhelmed.

 Tony took off his suit coat leaving Peter with mixed feelings of confusion and arousal. He saw Peter’s gaze linger on his chest where his shirt was stretched across his muscles. The marvellous starring made it difficult for Tony to focus on the conversation.

 Tony fixed his gaze on Peter while he was rolling up his sleeves, revealing his tattoo to the younger man. He could see how shocked Peter was as his eyes moved across his exposed forearm.

 “How is this possible.” Peter asked confused. “I’m not twenty-one yet. You shouldn’t be able to see it.”

 The boy came closer, slightly tracking his name with his fingers. Tony shuddered and clenched his hands into fists. Every touch of his soulmate set of a wave of arousal running straight to his neglected cock. The billionaire felt it stir in his pants and he bit his tongue to regain his control.

 The boy seemed to share his feelings, Tony could see his dilated pupils, drowning his brown eyes in black. He pulled his arm back abruptly. When Peter realized what he’d done, he blushed a deep red and stumbled an apology.

 Tony tried to distract himself from the sexual tension by focusing on explaining his tattoo. “Have you ever heard about magicians revealing soul marks?”

 The boy watched him expectantly. “Yes, it’s possible, but really expensive.”

 Tony nodded affirmative. “Well, there was an incident that forced me to look for a potential soulmate.”

 “An incident?”

 Tony cleared his throat. He didn’t want to tell the boy everything about his dizzy spell, but he had no choice. He leaned against conference desk and crossed his arms as a barrier between the boy and himself.

 “A few days ago, I passed out in my lab. Turned out I have a few problems with my arch reactor.” He unconsciously touched the middle of his chest. “Well, there’s no other way but surgery to remove the metal from my body that’s wandering towards my heart. Unfortunately, the chances of survival are slim unless I have a soulmate who’ll keep me company during the surgery.”

 Peter was at a loss for words. He was gaping at Tony like a fish and if Tony wasn’t so afraid of rejection, he would have called it cute. “Does that mean you could die?”

 Tony shrugged. “Possible, but unlikely when you stick by my side.” The billionaire sighed, swallowing his pride. “Peter, I’m really sorry to ask this of you, but there is no other choice.”

 Peters eyes widen before his face turned determined. He threw himself into Tony’s arm, clinging to him like an octopus. None of them noticed that a hug between them might be weird, considering they haven’t even met before today. “Of course, I’ll help you. I've waited all my life for this. Your tattoo was on my skin since birth.”

 Tony flinched at the words, reminded how young the boy was, but soon his emotions were taken over by relief. He relaxed in the embrace and began unconsciously stroking the boy's back. With Peter's help, his survival would be very likely.

 Tony rested his chin on Peter’s head, the gesture way too familiar for two people who had just met, but none of them cared. Tony felt as if gravity was pulling him towards Peter. He buried his nose in Peter’s curly hair, enjoying the sweet smell of the younger man. It made him dizzy with want.

 The boy pulled back a few inches from the hug and tried not to look at Tony. “I’m sorry, Mister Stark. I shouldn’t hug you like this. I just can’t control myself around you.” Shame was written all over his face.

 Though Tony knew he should leave it at that, he grabbed the boy’s chin forcing Pete to look into his eyes. “Shh, Pete. I guess, you feel it too. No need to run from me, my sweet boy.”

 Peters eyelid fluttered due to the pet name and a small moan escaped his pink lips. Tony couldn’t resist glaring at them. They looked pink and luscious and Tony lifted a hand caressing the lower lip with his thumps. They felt wet, probably from Peter licking his lips because of his nervousness. His cock twitched from the delicious sight.

 Slowly he pressed his fingertip into the wet heat, causing the boy to whimper his name. “Mr. Stark, please.” The boy didn’t even know what he was pleading for.

 Tony growled and lost his patience. He buried his other hand into the boy’s curls, tugging him closer until the smaller body touched his. Then he forced Peter’s head back and pressed his lips against the younger ones.

 He couldn’t stop the deep moan at the contact, swallowed by the boy’s mouth. Tony hadn’t believed in the soul shit before, making fun of all the shitty romance novels and the descriptions of the loss of control. But here he was, kissing a barely legal boy, unable to think about anything else than the wet hot mouth. His body was no longer listening to his command.

 Tony intensified the kiss greedily, sucking and nipping on Peter’s plumb lips until the boy moaned. When the boy’s lips parted, Tony sneaked a tongue inside. He explored Peter’s mouth inch by inch, caressing the boy’s tongue and encouraging him to kiss back.

 Peter wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, leaning into the older man for support. He started to move his lips, kissing the billionaire back. Tony enjoyed all the small noises the boy made. He whimpered when Tony moved his lips and moan when their tongues touched. Peter was a vision straight out of Tony’s wet dreams, a responsive little minx.

 Tony wanted to bend the boy over the conference table, rip of his pants and burry himself in that tight little ass. He imagined how wrecked the boy would look, how he would take Tony’s cock and suck him in, clenching when he reached his climax. He had never felt so out of control, barely able to stop himself from fucking the boy in a room that wasn’t even locked.

 Tony pulled back from the kiss, lips wandering lower to suck bruises on the boy’s neck. He felt a possessive urge building up inside him, wanting to see more of his marks on the boy’s body additionally to his tattoo. Peter moaned as he sucked and offered his throat to him. It was tempting to lose himself inside the boy, getting Peter to call him daddy when he split him open with his cock.

  At first Tony didn’t notice when Peter started to move. He was too busy marking his skin to pay attention to the rest of the boy’s body. But when something hard was pressed against his legs, he saw Peter rubbing himself all over him. The boy was marvellous trapped in his arousal, his shyness long forgotten. The boy only listened to his instincts and soothed the pain in his middle by seeking friction from him.

 Tony pressed his leg against Peter’s clothed dick, giving him more room to satisfy his needs. He felt his own cock hardening in his jeans. Peter’s head had fallen back, his throat bared to invite Tony to leave more marks. He couldn’t resist.

 As the boy’s breath quickened up, he knew Peter was getting close. Although he enjoyed their little encounter, he was way too old to come from a little bit of friction. As alluring as Peter was, year of experience helped him to hold himself together.

 Peter, however, didn’t seem to heave much stamina. Tony needed to admit that he liked that his baby boy could come from rubbing against his leg. His effect on the boy was flattering. Peter’s movements became more and more uncoordinated as he came closer to the end and Tony grabbed his hips to prevent the boy from falling.

 After a long stroke, Peter cried out, his whole body tensed. He shook uncontrollably, slumping against Tony’s body with a content smile on his face. Tony watched the boy falling apart under his hands, looking perfect while he came. His cheeks were red, eyes blissfully closed, and his mouth formed a perfect o. He wanted to keep him in his bed forever.

 When the boy had clamed down, the billionaire kissed him on his forehead and helped him to sit down on a chair. His own erection hurt, but he ignored it. Peter grimaced when he felt how sticky his pants were.

 There was silence between them, only disturbed by Peter’s fast breathing. As the boy came down from his height, Tony’s remorse returned. Fuck, not only had he made out like a teenager at work, he had even taken advantage of his barely legal soulmate. Pepper would kill him.

 He felt the guilt returning, consuming him as it always did. The familar panic rose in him, leaving him with a sudden urge to leave. What had he done to Peter, to the sweet innocent boy? Only the fact that he hadn’t come or bend the boy over made it a little bit better. At least he hadn’t crossed the last line.

 He could not look Peter in the eye during his next words. “Mister Parker, I’m deeply sorry for my behaviour.” He saw the boy flinched out of the corner of his eye.

 “I’m really sorry, but I have to go. Work.” His voice sounded cheerful although he felt like crying. The excuse was horrible. “I’ll contact you about the surgery.”

 And then Tony left the room, still struggling with a hard one, and leaving a hurt boy behind. He really was a monster.

  ~*~

  His day had actually started quiet well before everything went south. May had woken him with a large cup of coffee, nothing better to start the day with. He had woken up early so there was plenty of time left to get ready unhurriedly.

 The subway had been on time, and twenty minutes early Peter had entered the Stark tower. The letter told him to report to the reception when he arrived. The secretary had called someone, leaving Peter to wait on a comfortable couch in the lobby.

 Ten minutes later, a beautiful blonde woman had approached him, and he had recognized her as Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries and Tony Stark’s ex-wife. He had unconsciously straightened his back. Surely, she wasn’t here to pick him up, that would be highly uncommon for someone in a position like hers, but she had walked over to him and had hold out her hand. She had told him something about a meeting that had left him deeply confused and had ordered him to follow her.

 Peter had been completely overwhelmed, following her like a biddy until they had reached a double wing door. Then she had knocked and left him alone, standing in an unknown building without a clue about what was going on.

 When an oddly familiar voice had told him to enter, he had stumbled into the room, greeted by the sight of Tony Stark, billionaire, sexgod and his soulmate. He had gaped like a fish, unable to form words and overwhelmed with attraction for the man.

 Before he knew it, he was confronted with Mr. Stark’s potential death and his own mind breaking arousal. His personal highlight of embarrassment had been him rubbing himself all over the billionaire until he had come in his own pants, leaving them sticky with his release. And then Mister Stark had left him alone in the room, probably disgusted by his slutty behaviour.

  Here he was now, sitting in an empty conference room with ruined pants and no clue how to get back to the lobby. He couldn’t stop the tears spilling from his eyes and he sniffled slightly. How could a day start so well and end so horrible?

 He wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his chin on them feeling like a small child. The only thing he wanted right now was going back to his bed, but he was trapped here on the first day of his internship.

  A knock on the door ripped him out of his thoughts. He looked up just in time to see Mrs. Potts opening the door.

 “Tony, Mr. Parker?” She asked, entering the room and her gaze fell on the lonely boy crouched on the chair.

 She sighed and closed her eyes at the sight of him, taking a deep breath before her face was filled with pity. “Mr. Parker, can I call you Peter?”

 He could only nod.

 “Let me guess, the conversation with Tony wasn’t that good.” She handled the situation as if it wasn’t the first of it’s kind. “He was an idiot, right?”

 Peter looked at her with wide eyes, but he relaxed a bit. “Well, yeah.” His voice was hoarse from crying.

 “Don’t take everything the man tells you serious, Peter. Tony has a good heart, but he makes terrible decision. Did he explain you the situation with your soulmarks?”

 Peter starred at her in surprise. He didn’t expect her to know about the shared tattoos but being the CEO of his company and his ex-wife, she was probably informed about what was going on.

 “I’m glad he has a soulmate, even though you’re much younger than he is. Aside from the surgery, he deserves to be happy. But I could hit his head seeing him fucking it up again.” She looked him straight in the eye. "Peter, Tony is a complicated man, he's consumed with guilt. He doesn't like that you're so young, but it's not about you, it's about your age. You understand that?"

 He raised his head and smiled at her, relieved that Tony’s doubts weren’t about his behaviour. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “I understand Mrs. Potts. Don’t worry, I’ll help with the surgery. I also understand that I’m very young compared to him which is one reason why I’ve never reached out with my tattoo. I’m willing to keep up with him, but I’m also a human being. I don’t want to deal with rejection. Apart from the surgery, he can contact me when he feels ready.”

 She smiled at him after his words. “Peter, you seem like a good young man with a lot of patience. Maybe you’re exactly what he needs. You can go home today if you want. Your internship can start tomorrow. And besides, call me Pepper.”

 “Thank you, Pepper. I’d really like to go back home.”

 She smiled and walked him back to the lobby. She even called a cab so he didn’t have to take the subway.

  ~*~

 After a shower to clean the mess in his pants, Peter was restless and didn’t know what to do. He flipped onto his bed trying to get work done for his PhD, but he couldn’t focus on the equations. His mind seemed to wander back to the events of the day. Although he knew now that Mr. Stark’s behaviour was caused by his own guilt, he was still a little embarrassed by his own behaviour.

 He had jumped the man as soon as possible, couldn’t resist the temptation. The feelings had been intense, way stronger than anything he had felt when experimenting with a couple of college boys. Mr. Stark hadn’t even touched him under his clothes, and he had already messed up his boxers. He blushed at the memory and felt the familiar feeling of arousal rising, but he gripped the base of his cock, willing the erection down. Although his body didn’t seem to listen to him, he was still hurt from the man’s rejection and didn’t want to give in to the pleasant feelings.

 Instead, he picked up his phone and called MJ and Ned via video chat. He could at least get rid of all the anger by talking about it with his best friends.

  They both picked up after the second ringing.

 “Hey Pete, what’s up?” Ned answered first, laying on his bed just like Peter. His phone was on his desk, showing Ned’s bed and his wall, which was full of the familiar Iron Man posters. Today, it made Peter cringe.

 “Shouldn’t you be at your internship?” MJ was sitting at her favourite coffeeshop, phone probably leaning against an empty cup. She had her headphones plugged in.

 “Well, Pepper Potts send me home.” Peter answered casually.

 There was a second of silence before his best friends started talking at the same time. “She did what?” MJ shouted, while Ned responded dreamily. “You met Pepper Potts, like the real Pepper Potts?”

 “OMG, Ned. I can’t believe it.” MJ sounded angry and in the background of her video, Peter saw a costumer in the coffee shop turning his head towards her. MJ didn’t care about the angry looks. “She is his soulmate’s ex-wife. Don’t worship her.”

 “But she’s hot.” Ned answered defensively which made MJ groan.

 “Ned, she is like a hundred years older than you.” Now all the heads in the coffee shop were turned to MJ.

 “She can still be hot, though.” Ned whined. “Besides. Tony Stark is older than her and you don’t complain about the age difference between Peter and him, either.”

 MJ took a deep breath, clearly calming herself. “First of all, Ned, he is Peter’s soulmate. That’s something else. And second, Peter is at least not fantasizing about him.”

 “About that.” Peter interrupted their bickering. “I might have made out with him today.”

 Ned gasped loudly while MJ slammed her head on the table.

 “You can't just drop something like that casually.” MJ complained. “I need details, like now.”

 Peter needed a second, not sure how to explain the mess of today. “Pepper Potts picked me up in the lobby today and walked me to a conference room. Mr. Stark was waiting for me. He had my tattoo on his forearm.”

 His best friends looked at him confused. “How is that possible.” Ned asked. “You’re not twenty-one yet.”

 Peter swallowed. “Have you ever heard about magicians revealing soulmarks?”

 He looked at his friends expectantly, but both shook their head. The concept wasn’t very common. “Under certain circumstances a magician is legally permitted to reveal a tattoo earlier.”

 “Which circumstances?” She seemed to have a hunch about the situation, looking at Peter as if she wouldn’t like the answer.

 “Death.” Peter answered shortly. “He needs a surgery to remove the metal from his chest. Something about his arc tech not functioning properly anymore. And without a soulmate who strengthen his condition, he might die.”

 His friends were unusual silent after he revealed everything and looked at him concerned. “But he’l make it with your help, won’t he?” Ned asked.

 Peter shrugged. “I think so, but we haven’t talked about it much.”

 “Busy with something else?” MJ scoffed, smiling at him filthy.

 Peter blushed violently and hid his face in his pillow. Why are his friends so embarrassing? “I wasn’t like that.” He explained himself before he really thought about the situation. “Well, okay. I was, but that's not why we didn't talk to each other.” It sounded like a lame excuse.

 “Of course, Pete.” MJ talked to him like a child, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Tell me, how far did you go?”

 “I might have creamed my pants.” Peter admitted quietly.

 MJ were laughing so hard that tears were streaming from her eyes. Peter heard someone asking her to be a little bit quieter, but she ignored the man, too captured in mocking Peter. Ned, on the other hand, looked slightly nauseous.

 “Pete, please.” He groaned. “Don’t tell me about this.”

 “Stop being such a prude.” MJ bickered. “You’re no better with Pepper Potts.”

 “I didn’t bang her, though.” Ned looked outraged, but Peter knew it was just for show. He was used to that kind of behaviour from his friends.

 “Only because you couldn’t.” MJ was joking. Even though Ned tried to keep up the façade, after a few seconds he stated smiling too.

 “You still didn’t tell us why you didn’t talk with him.” Ned asked curiously.

  Peters mood sank. His friends were good at cheering him up and he clearly needed advice from them on how to handle the situation, but Mr. Stark’s actions had hurt him. His friends could tell something was wrong because they were quiet once.

 “He might have left immediately after I’ve rubbed myself all over him.” Peter confessed quietly.

 “He did what?” MJ fumed.

 “After I…, well you know… Let’s say when I was done, he apologized and left. Some lame excuse about work. He didn’t explain anything, didn’t tell me how to contact him, he didn’t even look at me. He just left me sitting alone in an empty conference room. He hadn't even come yet.”

 In the end, his voice became more and more quiet. He could no longer look at his phone, busy drawing patterns with his fingers on his bed to keep his emotions in check. He fought against the tears which threatened to fall.

 “Pete, I’m sorry.” MJ said softly. “Do you know why he left?”

 Peter sniffed. “I talked to Pepper afterwards. She said Tony felt guilty about me being so young. He wouldn’t have contacted me if his life wasn’t on the line.” He took a short break to get his thoughts in order. “It’s just…, I don’t care that much about the soulstuff myself. I don’t want him to marry me or change his whole life. It was just… so intense. All I want is to get to know him and not being tolerated to save his life.”

 “I understand you. It sucks.” Ned had never been very good in cheering up. Still, Peter smiled a little.

 MJ seemed to be thinking about something, tapping her fingers on the coffee table and choosing her words carefully. “Peter, I’ll only tell you this once, before I continue insulting Tony Stark. It’s obvious his life hadn’t been easy and someone must force the man to be happy. Wait for the surgery to be over, wait until he's no longer afraid for his life. And then fight.”

 Peter looked at her confused. “You think so?”

 She sighed, took a big sip of her coffee and started to explain again. “Let him first think you're angry with him, prove to him you don't worship him like the rest of the world. After that, show him what he’s missing. And when you have him trapped in his feelings, force him to talk. Explain your feelings but let him explain his too. Just don’t give up your one perfect match only because he’s an ass.”

 Peter was silent. MJ was rarely so serious and her words had reached him. Was Tony Stark worth it? Of course, the man was intelligent and handsome, but was it enough? Was he willing to find out if it would be enough?

 “I’m not sure I want to fight.” Peter confessed. He wasn’t sure if he and Mr. Stark were a perfect match, they were living in different worlds.

 Unusually, it was Ned who finished the discussion. “I guess it’s on you to find that out.”

  ~*~

  A few hours later, when Peter tried to fall asleep, he decided that it would be worth it. It might go wrong, but he would always regret not having tried. His uncle's death had taught him one thing: Never miss an opportunity.

Chapter 3

 A week later, Peter was sitting in a private jet on his way to Switzerland. He had never left the country before, and it was the first time he had ever travelled by plane. His uncle Ben had died a few years ago and even before that, they hadn’t had enough money for vacation. He’d always thought his first flight would go to Mexico after he got his PhD and saved some money. He would have bought a cheap economy seat and would have probably been seated next to a family with children crying the whole time.

 What he hadn’t expected was him flying with Tony Stark’s private jet to a hospital in Switzerland before his twenty-first birthday. Pepper had told him that the best surgeons in the world were working in Europe and that they would therefore have to leave the country. She accompanied him during the flight, while Tony had already left a few days earlier. He had to be prepared for the surgery.

 Peter hadn’t seen Mr. Stark since the incident in the conference room, and he really tried not to get upset about it. The billionaire was avoiding him, but it was the wrong time to call him out on it. Peter promised himself to keep his emotion in check until after surgery.

 Pepper, on the other hand, had spent a lot of time with him. She had called him into her office almost everyday after the internship to talk about Tony. She had explained his actions once again, told Peter everything about the upcoming surgery and tried to get to know him better. She had asked him about his intentions with Mr. Stark, and he had told her all about his decision to fight.

 “I’m glad to hear that, Peter.” She had said smiling. “He deserves to be happy, although he’ll do anything to sabotage himself. Not many people in his life have tried to fight for him. Prepare yourself for a draining battle.”

 He had just nodded and promised to be as patient as possible.

  “What are you thinking about?” Pepper Potts, object of his thoughts interrupted him from those.

 He blinked and looked at her. “Just thinking about all the luxury.” He lied. “I’m not used to it; it makes me feel uncomfortable.” It's true he wasn't very fond of the display of money, but he was more concerned about the situation with Mr Stark.

 Yes, Tony had been a dick, but he was still Peter’s soulmate. Additionally, he was also a superhero who had saved a million lives, not only as Iron Man, but also with his clean energy. It was Peter's duty to save him and he was afraid that his presence would not be enough. There was still a small chance that he would die.

 Pepper had no clue what he was really thinking about. “Peter, you need to get used to the luxury. If he ever opens up to you, he'll spoil you terribly. Tony's way of showing his love is money and gifts.”

 Peter just shrugged at the thought. Having grown up without much money, he was uncomfortable with expensive gifts. “But to start everything with a flight to Europe, my first flight by the way, where I know nothing more about Tony than that he is in mortal danger is a bit much, don't you think?”

 Pepper only laughed. “With Tony Stark everything will be much. Sometimes you won’t know whether to punch him or hug him.”

 Peter grinned too and banished the bad thoughts from his mind. Maybe he should just enjoy the luxury and be optimistic.

  They arrived late in the afternoon, and a limousine picked him and Pepper up. They drove to an expensive-looking hotel, five stars of course. The lobby was designed in a marble look, with black curtains next to the windows. The stuff was dressed in shiny suits and even the guests wore fancy clothes. Peter felt uncomfortable in his plaid shirt and his worn out converse. He certainly stood out.

 Pepper smiled encouragingly at him and led him to the reception. A minute later he was holding a black card in his hands, probably the key to his room. She walked ahead and led him to the other end of the lobby towards the elevators.  

 “Guten Tag, darf ich Ihnen ihr Gepäck abnehmen?“ A pageboy approached them halfway and said something in German. Peter didn’t understand a word.

 “I am sorry, Sir. May I take your bags?” The man repeated and Peter gave him his suitcase with a grateful smile. He thanked him and Pepper tipped the pageboy. He’d never been to a hotel where he didn’t have to carry his own luggage. To be fair, he had never been in a hotel before, except for a school trip a few years ago.

 After the elevator door closed behind them, Pepper picked up a conversation. “Peter, the surgery is tomorrow morning. Happy will pick you up at seven am to drive you to the hospital.” Peter confirmed with a nod that he understood. “Do you want to eat dinner together?”

 He thought about it but shook his head after a few seconds. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Potts, but I’d like to go to bed early. Can I order something up to my room?” He was tired from the long flight, and the only thing he wanted to do before he went to bed was call MJ and Ned and tell them everything.

 “Of course.” Pepper replied. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiled at him the last time before she left the elevator on her floor.

 When Peter entered his room, a big and fancy one of course, he couldn’t really appreciate it. Even though the bathroom looked like the cover of an interior design magazine, and the television was twenty times bigger than the one May had at home, the only thing he was interested in at the moment was the bed. He managed a quick call to MJ, Ned and May, but he fell asleep before he could call the room service.

  ~*~

 Peter felt anxious when he entered the hospital the next morning. It didn’t look like any hospitals he’d ever been to before. Everything looked more expensive, but also more comfortable. Instead of the typical white walls, the halls were painted in a warm beige and plants made it look livelier. The smell, however, was the same.

 He didn't even have time to look around properly until a man in a white coat approached him.

  “Good morning, Mr. Parker. I’m Mr. Stark’s personal doctor. If you would be so kind as to follow me.”

 Peter didn't have time to answer anything or he wouldn't have been able to keep up with the doctor. As they left the lobby and turned into a less crowded corridor, the man slowed down.

 He smiled warmly at Peter. “I apologize for the hectic greeting. Mr. Stark asked me to keep his condition under wraps. I didn't want to risk having other patients listen to us.”

 It made sense, of course. Even though Peter wasn’t very interested in business, he knew what a life-threatening illness of Mr. Stark could do to SI’s stock prices. On top of that, the billionaire probably didn’t want to deal with the media.

 “It’s all right.” He assured the doctor. “Can you tell me what I can do today?”

 The man turned right at the end of the corridor and instructed Peter to follow him through a door. They entered an office and the doctor offered him a seat. In the middle of the room there was a big wooden desk and when the doctor took a seat behind it, Peter felt as if he was back in school talking to the principal about his absence in class. He had skipped school a few times after Ben had died.

 “Peter, I need to tell you something about Mr. Stark’s condition. Are you familiar with arc technology?” Peter nodded, he had heard a lot about it during his studies, though he had never had enough money for plutonium to build one himself. “Tony has metal splitter in his chest that are wandering to his heart. The arc reactor works like an electromagnet, holding the metal in place. Unfortunately, the plutonium is poisoning his blood and we have to remove the arc reactor.”

 Peter was shocked. He knew Mr. Stark’s life depended on the tech in his chest, but he hadn’t known anything about plutonium poisoning his blood. He knew from his studies how dangerous the substance can be. Additionally, switching off the electromagnet would kill the man too. “But then the metal will wander to his heart again.” He concluded, fear in his voice.

 “That is correct, which is why we must perform the operation. We want to finally remove the metal. We're going to cut open his chest under an electromagnet and remove the shards. But the operation will be exhausting for his body. And that's where you come in. A side effect of soulbonds is the power one soulmate can give to another. You can imagine that not only Tony's soul, but your soul bound him to life.” The doctor remained calm when he explained the problem to Peter and he was grateful for the professionalism. Peter had to stay focused, he needed to understand what he could do for Mr. Stark and he was on the verge of losing it.

 Even though Peter wasn’t very fond of magic, the doctor’s explanations made sense, well, at least a little bit. He hated not understanding things and magic was definitely part of that. But binding Mr. Stark to live, well, that was something he was truly grateful for. Everyone knew what the billionaire had been through in Afghanistan and what he sacrificed for being Iron Man, Peter just wanted to give something back.

 "If a person's life can be bound to two souls, why can soulmates die when the other is still alive".

 It took the doctor a second to answer. "First of all, if someone is really dead, no soul-bound being in the world can bring him back or stop death. You can only give the body a little bit of strength to endure strain longer. If someone is stabbed or a disease kills him, a soul mate cannot do anything. And if soulmates have never met before, even their presence cannot save the other. There must be a connection between the two".

 Peter felt himself getting cold. Shit, there needs to be a bond? But Tony and he didn’t have a bond! He felt the fear rising in him. “You need to stop the surgery.” Peter pleaded. “We didn’t initiate a bond.”

 The doctor laughed, reached out and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. “Peter, can you show me your tattoo?” Peter was confused for a second, what did his tattoo had to do with this? But he still nodded and exposed his wrist to the man’s touch. “Do you notice any differences?”

 Peter stared intently at his tattoo. It was familiar to him, a part of him that he had worn since birth. But once he paid attention, he noticed that the lines of the name were thicker than before.

 “It’s thicker, isn’t it?” The doctor asked. “A bond is formed when soulmates touch each other. It can be a sexual touch, or a friendly one. t's the intention of the couple that counts. If they truly want each other, a bond is formed. It doesn’t matter if the feeling is sexual or loving.”

 Peter blushed. He remembered how much he had wanted Mr. Stark, his fingers on his body, his lips everywhere. His thoughts stopped for a second. If the bond was formed successfully, Mr. Stark must have wanted him too.

 “Can a soulbond c-create…” He stammered shamefully. “Can a soulbond cause a-arousal?”

 The doctor knowingly laughed and winked at him. “It can increase the pleasure, but it cannot create feeling that weren’t there before.”

 Peter swallowed, relieved that Mr. Stark seemed to find him arousing, but also ashamed by his own behaviour. The had blamed the bond for his shamelessness, but apparently it was on him.

 He tried to change the topic. “What happens after a bond is formed?”

 The doctor looked at him forcefully. “Peter don’t be afraid. I know how Mr. Star is. If one of you decides to stay away from the other, it won’t be painful. There are other people out there, other good matches. It's just never gonna be as perfect as the soul bond.”

 Peter took a deep breath. He wanted to fight for Mr. Stark, wanted to fight for the privilege of keeping him happy. But if the billionaire truly didn’t want him, he could stay away.

 The doctor took one look on his watch and stood up. “I’m sorry, Peter. I have to cut the conversation short. It’s time. If you would be so kind as to follow me?”

 Peter's nervousness came back with a vengeance. Now it was time to fight for Tony Stark's life.

  ~*~

  The second time Tony woke up in a hospital, he was not alone again. This time only Pepper was sitting next to his bed and it wasn’t bright but dark outside. The felt a dull arch in his chest and tried to touch it gently. A heavy bandage was wrapped around his torso, making it difficult to breath. He assumed he was on heavy painkillers because he didn’t feel as if he had been cut open just before.

 Tony didn’t remember much about the day. The doctors had knocked him out in the morning and after that everything was black except for a faint memory of a beautiful boy. Had he dreamed about Peter?

 “Tony, you’re awake.” Pepper shone at him. “I’m so happy everything’s fine. You’re going to be okay, no need to give me Stark Industries.”

 He sighed in relieve. He’ll be okay, he’ll live, and the first time in years he didn’t have to worry about the metal in his body. The only unsolved problem was Peter.

 “Have I been awake before?” He asked curiously and Pepper nodded. “I remember Peter sitting next to me and holding my hand. Was it a dream?”

 Pepper looked pitifully at him and took his hand. “Oh Tony, yes, he was here when you first woke up. Guess you don't remember much since you were still recovering from the anaesthetic."

 He swallowed heavily. Hopefully, he didn’t say anything he’ll regret now. “Did I… did I say anything to him?”

 “No, Tony, you didn’t. You didn’t talk at all. Yet Peter is out there, waiting for you to wake up. Give him a chance and let him talk to you. Let him see you’re fine.” She pulled the chair closer to his bed and looked at him vividly. “You’ll like the boy. He is not only handsome but intelligent. You have so much in common. Don’t let yourself be unhappy again.”

 Tony couldn’t look at her. How could he give the boy a chance? There are a million better man out there, better matches for Peter. He didn’t want to tie the boy to an old man like him. “Pepper, he isn’t ever allowed to drink.”

 “Then wait for him.” Her voice got frustrated. “He’ll be twenty-one in three months.”

 He closed his eyes, guilt and desire battling inside him. He wanted to get to know the boy, but he didn’t want to load all his problems on someone else’s shoulders.

 “He is so young Pepper.” His last doubts were coming to the surface.

 “Peter is young but clever, Tony.” Pepper replied fiercely. “He is a gentle soul who wouldn’t even take your money. He wanted to pay for his own hotel, a small one near the hospital.” She laughed bitterly. “Tony, he wanted nothing in return for saving your life. Yes, you’ve made mistakes in the past, but it’s time to let go. Just try to be happy for once, okay? Peter is perfect for you.”

 Tony pondered, knowing he would be gone on the boy if he decided to let him in. Peter was so innocent but beautiful. He wanted to challenge the young man, see if he could keep up with him in the lab. He wanted to hold him, protect him from life. And he wanted to bend him over his work desk and fuck him until he screamed Tony’s name.

 You know what, fuck it. Fuck anyone who’d think Peter is too young, fuck the media and the moralists. He wanted to be happy, he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He promised himself to protect the boy and to spoil him rotten. He would keep him in his arms and buy him everything he would ever want. He will listen to the soulshit for once, maybe Peter really was the right one for him.

 “Okay, let him in.” His voice was hoarse but determined.

 Pepper smiled brightly and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I’m so happy, Tony. You won’t regret it.”

 Then she left the room to call the boy and leave them alone.

   Peter looked insecure, almost scared, when he entered the room. He was even more beautiful than Tony remembered. Although he looked tired as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before, Tony had never seen someone more beautiful, more tempting.

 Peter stopped in the middle on the room, unsure if he could sit down of if the billionaire would throw him out soon. Tony winced at the sight, he had really fucked up.

 “Peter, you can sit down if you want.” Tony soothed the boy and pointed to the chair next to his bed. Peter smiled carefully and took the seat. He was closer to Tony than the billionaire would have liked, it was just so difficult to concentrate while he was near the boy. He smelled the faint vanilla note of Peter’s scent and the only thing preventing him from getting aroused again was the slight pain in his chest.

 “Mr Stark, how are you?” The boy asked cheerfully. Tony could see that the boy was happy about him being awake and well.

 “I’m fine. My chest still hurts a little, but I’m sure it’ll heal.”

 The boy smiled at him so brightly that Tony felt as if he was looking at the sun. Being happy, Peter looked like a vision. Tony didn’t have much brightness in his life, and he was determined to hold on tight.

 “Peter.” Tony looked intensely at the boy and took his hand, making sure he was listening. “I am truly sorry for our first encounter. I didn’t mean to throw myself at you. You are so young, it’s better if we keep our distance for a while.”

 The moment he saw Peter’s hurt face, he knew he’d chosen the wrong words. The boy pulled back his hand, attempting to get up and leave the room. “It’s alright, Mr. Stark.” The boy tried to get a grip on himself, but Tony could see the first tears falling. “I get it, I’m just happy you’re fine.”

 Peter’s sadness broke Tony’s heart and he grabbed his arm before he could walk away. “Wait, Pete.” He pleaded. “I’ve said it all wrong. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you or get in your pants, but I want to get to know you better. Let’s just try to keep our pants on.”

 Peter starred at him with a mixture of relief and frustration on his face. “You mean as friends?”

 Tony laughed bitterly. “God Peter, no. Even if I tried, I couldn’t stop myself. You're so alluring, every second I see you, I want to fuck you senseless.” The boy blushed under his blatant words. “I just want to get to know you better first, is that all right? I want to wait for your birthday.”

 The hesitation on Peter’s face vanished and his beautiful smile returned. Tony felt his tension subside when the boy stopped crying. He became too attached to the boy far too soon. He would already do anything for the boy, how would he act after he’d got to know the boy better? Tony pushed aside his fear, it would only lead to him running away, but this time he wanted to do it right.

 “Tony, can I kiss you?” The billionaire shrugged after the unexpected question. He knew he shouldn’t do it, he knew how hard it would be to resist the temptation once he touched Peter’s lips, but he was a weak man. So he nodded, allowing the boy to get close.

 The attraction was the same when their lips touched the second time. Tony felt the boy shaking, arching into the kiss. The angle was awkward, Peter bent over him, carefully so as not to touch his chest. Tony was uncomfortable, his neck stretched to reach the boy’s lips.

 He growled in frustration, wanting to feel the boys weight pressing against him during the kiss. He wanted to touch the boy everywhere, but his stupid bandage was in the way. Peter climbed over him, settled on his lap and kept his hands away from Tony’s chest. He supported his weight with his arms and pressed another kiss on his lips.

 Tony opened his mouth, allowing the boy’s tongue to enter him for a second before taking control and pushing it back. One hand got tangled up in the boy’s soft curls, the other slipped under his t-shirt. He caressed the soft skin of Peter’s back, drawing patterns on his skin. He boy shivered under his touch and started to squirm. His ass was pressed against Tony’s clothed cock and he got hard under Peter’s movement.

 The boy was a vision, losing control from a simple kiss alone. His cheeks were rosy, the blush spreading across his neck. Tony wanted to undress him to know how far down the blush went. He wanted to pinch his nipples, kissing them, biting them, while the boy was riding his cock.

 “Fuck, sweet boy. So good for me.” Peter was so responsive to his touch, he moaned when Tony stroked the waistband of his jeans, slipping a finger under it. He couldn’t reach his ass properly, but Peter arched his back as if Tony had already pressed a finger in his tight little hole.

 Tony felt that he was losing control. He knew he was going too far. Not only were they in a hospital, and Pepper was waiting outside his room, he had also promised to keep his hands to himself until the boy turned twenty-one. But he was too far gone to stop now.

 Tony brought his hands to the front of the boy’s jeans while his tongue was thrusting in the boy’s mouth. He imagined what it would feel like to have Peter spread out under him, licking into his tight little heat and luring every sound out of the boy’s pretty pink mouth. He imagined how Peter would moan and cry, how he would beg him to feed him his cock.

 When he pressed his palm against Peter’s clothed cock, the boy bucked into his touch. Even though Tony would normally appreciate the responsiveness, the boy’s groin pressed against his chest for a short time and a sharp pain ran through his whole body.

 Tony groaned, but not out of arousal this time. It took Peter a second to realize Tony’s pain, but then he backed off immediately. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark.” He apologized while he climbed back into his chair.

 Tony smiled painfully. “It’s all right, sweet boy. I guess it’s better this way or we would have gone too far. I didn’t mean to touch you before your birthday, I just couldn’t stop myself.” He realised once again that he had no control over his urges when he touched the boy. He closed his eyes, willing his erection away which was leaking in the sweatpants he was wearing.

 It was difficult to regain control, and according to his heavy breathing, Peter felt the same way. The boy’s lips were swollen, and his hair dishevelled, he looked just so fuckable right now that he wanted the boy back on his lap. He concentrated on the dull pain in his chest to get a grip on himself.

 “Seems the only thing we can do is jump on each other.” Tony joked and Peter blushed with embarrassment. “You know what boy, when we get back home, I’m gonna take you out. Won’t be possible to strip you when we’re eating in a restaurant, right?”

 Tony knew his decision was right when the boy’s face lit up after the suggestion of a date. “I would like that Mr. Stark.” He answered and smiled so brightly at the billionaire that all those unwanted feelings came back. Tony groaned and fought his arousal once again. Will this go on forever now? He would die of frustration while he was close to the boy.

 “Tell me about yourself.” Tony tried to distract himself from his leaking cock.

 Peter looked at him thoughtfully. “What do you want to know?”

 Anything, Tony thought. Anything to distract me from the urge to fuck you senseless in a hospital room. “Tell me about your studies. You’re getting your PhD right?”

 Peter’s face lit up with the question. “Yes, I’m currently working on a project of prosthetic arms. My supervising professor knows some soldiers who lost their arms in the war. A couple of them have simple metal ones, but I’m working on better arms that can be controlled by their minds.”

 Tony was enchanted. The boy talked with a passion that made the billionaire thrilled. He gesticulated wildly while his eyes were sparkling with excitement. Tony wanted to know more about the project.

 “How far have you progressed?” He asked interested, forgetting the pain and his burning arousal for the first time.

 Peter shifted on his chair, tugging his legs under him to sit comfortably. Then he took out his old phone, opened an app and gave it to Tony. The billionaire scrolled through the app, seeing everything Peter had already done. He saw blueprints of arm prothesis, equations calculating the right amount of the component parts and a thousand measurement values. He saw Peter’s progress on the screen, his own mind racing with ideas to improve the project.

 At the end of Peter’s notations was a black question mark. “What’s this about?” Tony ask, pointing at the end of the document.

 Peter shrugged. “Well, I’d like to start the testing phase with a few people, but there’s still one problem left I couldn’t fix.”

 Tony was interested. “Which problem?”

 Peter took his old phone back, and Tony planned to buy him a new one, a better one. Probably he’ll give him a Stark phone. The boy showed him a video.

 Tony could see a man in a lab, probably at NYU, wearing an arm prothesis while sleeping in a bed. The setting of the room indicated that it was a test experiment Peter had conducted. In the upper left corner, the vitals of the man were on display. As time continued, Tony could see that the pulse was changing. The man was probably in REM sleep. Suddenly, his arm prothesis started to twitch, moving in a ridiculous way while the man was still sleeping. After a few seconds, someone entered the lab, waking the man up and the movements of the prothesis stopped.

 “What happened?” Tony asked curiously. He already had a presumption, but he wanted Peter to confirm it.

 “The prothesis is controlled by the subject’s thoughts and intentions, thus driven by electric impulses of the brain. During dreaming, electrical impulses are emitted that set the human body in motion. When dreams trigger strong emotions such as fear or excitement, the prosthesis reacts with unpredictable movements.”

 “Like when you lash out in a dream and then it happens in reality?” Tony asked him. “But doesn't that also happen with the normal body?”

 Peter smiled at the question, visibly enjoying talking about his project. “Kind of.” He answered. “But the reactions are stronger. When someone feels distressed in their sleep, they usually just toss and turn in bed. The simple feeling of a normal nightmare is enough for the prosthesis to react like soldiers with PTSD. You can imagine what a person who feels anxious would do at night.”

 Tony swallowed. He knew first hand how it was like to live with PTSD, how draining nightmares could be. He also knew what could happen when mind-controlled tech reacts to the dreams. He had similar problems with his Iron Man Suits once.

 “Peter, do you mind if we look at your prosthesis in my lab when we get back home?” Peter looked at him buzzled. Tony wanted a chance to get to know the boy better anyway and combining it with his favourite pastime sounded great. “I once had a similar problem with my Iron Man suits, maybe we can work on a solution together.”

 Peter beamed at him and tried to jump at him for joy. Tony liked the impulsive character of his soul mate, he always preferred partners who show their feelings. In bed and out of bed. He wanted to make the boy happy all the time, showering him with gifts and seeing the smile every day.

 Sadly, Peter held back before he could touch the billionaire. After losing control through the kiss earlier, it would be wise to keep their distance until his chest had healed. To top it off, the boy was still not twenty-one.

 “Peter, lets limit the time spent together to lab work until your birthday, all right?” Tony suggested. “We can talk, we can work, and on your birthday, I’ll take you out. I’ve promised you I’d take you on a date afterwards.”

 The boy didn’t look happy, but nodded anyway. “Fine.” He replied. “But don’t push me away afterwards.”

 “I won’t.” Tony promised. He won’t be able to keep his hands of the boy much longer anyway. “Let’s call it a day.” The billionaire suggested. “I’m tired from the surgery and your flight will leave tomorrow morning. I need to stay a few days longer to make sure everything is healing. I’ll be back at work next Monday. Can I pick you up Monday at five in the intern lab?”

 “Of course, Mr. Stark.” Peter replied happily. “Guess I’ll see you Monday.”

 He hugged Tony carefully before he left the room. Even one hour later, Tony imagined he could still feel the boy’s weight in his arms and the faint smell of vanilla in the air. Monday couldn’t come fast enough.

  Chapter 4

 After his first two weeks, Peter had almost settled into a routine at Stark Industries. In the morning he always went to the kitchen on the second floor first, brewing himself a cup of coffee. He needed his daily dose of caffeine to start the day, and although he preferred the perfectly brewed cappuccino from the bakery across the street, making his own was much cheaper. He brought his own mug and took it with him to his working space.

 Then that he went to the intern lab, a large room with a dozen workbenches. He shared the room with eleven other interns, all university or PhD students like himself. They got paid for their work, which is why they were included in SI projects. Everyone had to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep the company’s secrets safe.

 Peter and one other intern named Flash worked on a new Stark phone, assisting a couple of engineers to improve the older model. They were still having problems with the camera, it wasn’t as good as Tony Stark expected it to be and SI was known to bringing out only the best products.

 Peter hadn’t seen Pepper all week. She was relieved the matter with Tony and him was settled and that the billionaire was getting better after the surgery, but she had spent a lot of time worrying about him and now she had to get work done. Peter thought it was a pity. He was amazingly fond of her, even though she was Tony’s ex-wife. He felt her friendly love for his soulmate, and he was happy Tony had such an amazing woman in his life.

 All in all, his internship was the dream he’d hoped for, except for one thing: his lab-partner Flash. Flash was older than him, twenty-five by now, and he hadn’t finished his studies yet. Although that wasn’t a big deal, Flash was envious of him already doing his PhD, and every day he showed Peter how little he thought about him.

 It had started with a few comments. Parker, what is a kid like you doing in a grown-up world. Parker, how many dicks did you suck to get this internship? Parker, how many did you pay to get your PhD? But it just kept getting worse and worse.

 One day, Flash had destroyed a laptop, claiming it was Peter’s fault. He told their supervisor Peter had thrown it on the floor only to frame him. Peter denied it, but Flash had been working for SI for two years now and they all trusted him.

 Peter tried to ignore Flash, he didn’t answer, didn’t report anything, because his supervisor wouldn’t believe him anyway. But it only got worse. Flash had stolen his phone while he was going to the toilet, it was a mistake not to take it with him. He had read a pop-up message from MJ, telling him her hot new neighbour is exactly his type. As soon as Flash knew he was gay, he started calling him Penis-Parker, slapping his butt as he walked by and accusing Peter to try to gay him up too.

 It was a nightmare, but Peter didn’t say anything, too afraid that no one would belief him. On Monday, when Tony came back to work, things escalated.

  He had been late for work because a subway train had had an accident, blocking the station where he was waiting. Without a coffee, he entered the lab after his supervisor had glared angrily at him. Flash snickered, clearly enjoying his distress.

 The lab was empty except for Flash and him, all the other inters were either on vacation or attending a congress where a new SI product was to be launched today. But Flash and he had to stay in the lab because the new Stark phone would be launched soon, and the camera still wasn’t perfect.

 “Why are you late, Parker?” Flash sneered. “Busy dropping your pants for all the gay men on the streets?”

 Peter took a deep breath and tried to ignore him. Flash wasn’t worth the trouble, he wasn’t even worth the anger Peter was feeling, but the words hurt anyway. Yes, he was gay, so what? They were living in the twenty first century, nobody should care about sexual orientation anymore.

 His silence seemed to make Flash even angrier. “Penis Parker, I’m talking to you. Are not only a faggot but deaf, too?”

 Peter could feel anger bubbling up inside him, threatening to surface, but he fought it off. He was better than that, he wouldn’t start an argument about any of this. It would only come back to him, his supervisor wouldn’t belief him anyway.

 “You’re so pathetic, Parker.” Flash snarled and grabbed his forearm tight. Peter flinched; Flash had never touched him before. He could handle mean comments and insults about his sexuality, but he couldn’t stand violence. But Flash was bigger than him, stronger than him, and although he tried, Peter couldn’t get his arm free.

 “Please, let me go.” He begged, struggling against the grip on his forearm, but Flash only cackled.

 “Look at you, Penis Parker. One touch and you almost cry. I thought you like being touched by men, don’t you? Never had a real man touching you before?”

 Peters anger turned to fear. He’d been convinced Flash wouldn’t do anything serious to him, that he’d only let out his anger through words, but right now he wasn’t sure anymore. He struggled harder against the grip, afraid what the other man would do to him.

 When he heard the fabric tear, he was unaware of the seriousness of the situation for a few seconds. Flash stopped insulting him and that should have been the first warning sign. Still, it took him a little longer to understand why Flash was quiet.

 His wrist was turned upwards, the tattoo clearly visible. Normally, Peter wore a watch to cover it, but he had forgotten it in the morning, thinking the tight sleeves of his shirt would stop anyone from noticing. They had, though, but his shirt had ripped while he had been struggling against Flash’s grip. And now what he wanted to avoid at all costs had happened. Someone else had seen his mark.

 “Omg, you are really pathetic, Parker.” Flash said stunned. His scornful voice had turned to hideous. “How can you be so dumb to tattoo Tony Starks name on your arm.”

 Peter was finally able to pull his wrist back and hid the tattoo against his chest. His eyes prickled and he fought the tears with everything he had. He wouldn’t cry in front of Flash; he couldn’t stand the satisfaction that would be visible on the other’s face afterwards.

 “You are disgusting Peter Parker, do you really thing you can turn the Tony Stark gay with your little tricks?” Flash came even closer, grabbing his hips so tightly that he couldn’t escape. “Someone like him would never even look at you, faggot. I’m gonna show you what happens to arrogant kids like you, Parker. Guess you only got accepted for the internship because you had sucked a million dicks, hoping that one day Tony Stark would fuck your mouth. I tell you something Peter, that will never happen.”

  “Enough.” An icy voice interrupted them, and Flash jumped back startled. In the doorway of the lab stood Tony Stark, and Peter sighed with relief.

 “What do you think you’re doing there?” The billionaire asked Flash, rage all over his face. Peter could see that he was clenching his hands into fists, so his ankles turned white.

 “Mr. Stark, good thing you’re here.” Flash smiled at the man in awe. “I just had to teach the faggot here a lesson, he had your name tattooed on his wrist. He thought he could turn you gay by pretending to be your soulmate.” Flash’s loud laughter echoed across the room.

 Tony’s control snapped. He burst into the room, grabbed Flash by the throat and slammed him into the nearest wall. Peter could see that Tony was wearing a part of his Iron Man suit so there was no way for Flash break free. Tony’s face was full of hatred when he looked at the intern, Peter had never seen him like that before.

 “I’m gonna say this once, and only once.” The billionaire threatened. “No one has the right to attack anyone, even if they’re lying, even if they have tattooed my name over all of their body. Do you understand that?”

 Flash looked at him in fear, paralyzed and unable to answer because Tony clasped his throat tightly.

 The billionaire loosened his grip, he didn’t mean to kill him, only threatening him a bit.

 “Did I make myself clear?” He repeated, slowly this time.

 Flash couldn’t nod fast enough, and Tony let him go. He slumped to the ground, touching his neck, and looking like a little kid scolded by a father.

 “Although it’s none of your business, I want to show you something.” Tony grinned evil and rolled up his sleeve to reveal his soulmark, Peter’s name. Flash looked at it paralyzed.

 “If you ever bully my soulmate again, if you so much as look at him wrong or, god bless, touch him, I will kill you. And don’t you doubt I wouldn’t even go to jail for that. I have enough money so everyone will belief you attacked me first. Peter is mine.” Tony growled.

 Peter swallowed. Although the threat was directed at Flash, he could feel the billionaire’s anger anyway. He was so dominant, protecting Peter in a way no one had ever done before, and a warm feeling spread in his chest. That was everything he had ever wanted, someone to loved him, to take care of him and protect him if necessary.  

 Flash didn’t talk anymore, he sat on the floor, looking miserable and frightened, but Tony showed no pity. “Leave now.” He ordered. “Leave, and don’t think you could ever come back here again. Your resignation will be sent to you by mail.”

 Flash didn’t look up when he left the room and avoided Peter’s gaze. He looked like a kicked puppy, but Peter didn’t feel pity either. He could deal with comments, with harassment, he was used to it by now, but he couldn’t accept any form of violence. When Flash was gone, Tony turned to him.

 “Are you all right, Peter?” He asked, reached out and pulled him into an embrace. Peter hid his face in Tony’s thousand-dollar shirt, felling safe for the first time that day. Tony smelled good, save, like home and he let himself be held. When his tension dropped, he started to cry. Tony soothed him, kept him in his arms and stroked his back. He was waiting patiently until everything was out.

 After some time had passed, Peter’s sobbing slowed down, until he was breathing heavily, protected by Tony’s arms. “Shh, Pete. You’re safe, my sweet little boy. Come with me to my lab. I don’t want you to work with the other interns anymore.”

  Peter nodded and let himself be led into Tony’s workspace. He didn’t remember how they got there, he didn’t even notice that they weren’t seen by anyone else. The only thing he felt was Tony's grip around his hips and his voice telling him that everything would be okay.

 When they entered the lab, Tony sat down onto his couch, pulling Peter in his lap. Neither could let go of the other. Instead, Peter clung to Tony like an octopus, his face back into Tony's collar.

 After a minute of silence, Tony picked up a discussion. “Peter, I want you to work with me in my lab. Not only because you’re my soulmate, but also because you’re the most intelligent person I know. I don’t want you wasting your time on a phone, I want you to work on your project.”

 Peter looked up, smiling for the first time. “Really?”

 Tony smiled back. “Really. You are brilliant, Peter, and on top of that I want to keep you close to me.”

 Peter grinned, pressing his lips to Tony’s once more. The familiar heat, mixed with arousal, bubbled in his chest and he smiled in the kiss. Everything with Tony felt so perfect.

 After a couple of minutes, the billionaire pulled back. His lips were swollen, and he looked at Peter with hunger in his eyes. Peter wanted to go further. He wanted to thank Tony by blowing him, getting down on his knees in front of the billionaire and putting his cock into his mouth. He wanted to be bent over the couch, he wanted his daddy to fuck him until he screamed.

 Peter froze for a second. Had he called Tony Daddy in his mind? Fuck, what was wrong with him? He was glad, he didn’t say it out loud. What would his soulmate think of him? He didn’t see Tony as a father, he didn’t want to be parented by him, but he wanted to be protected like a boy. It was hard for him to admit to himself that the thought of the billionaire as his provider, his protector, turned him on even more.

 “Everything all right, boy?” Tony asked, sensing his discomfort.

 Peter smiled and answered cocky. “Everything is fine. I just thought about blowing you right now.”

 Tony groaned and gently pushed him off his lap. “Peter, please. Don’t try my patience. How can you tempt me when you were crying just a few minutes ago?"

 Peter laughed loudly, licked his lips and enjoyed the effect he had on his soulmate. “I don’t know. I constantly think about you fucking me.”

 Tony’s moans were flattering. He was so happy to be allowed to work in the billionaire’s lab and he was making plans. He wanted to work on his project, but he also wanted to work on the billionaire. Let’s see if Mr. Stark could wait for his birthday or if he would go crazy with arousal. Peter smiled to himself. For the time being he would let it go, sit on the couch next to Tony and stay away from his lap, but he would make the billionaire's next few weeks difficult.

 They both needed time to calm down, getting a grip of their arousal. Peter kept cuddling Tony and pressed himself against his side, but the smell of his soulmate made it difficult to think about anything else than getting fucked. Nevertheless, he held himself back.

 “Why were you in the lab?” Peter asked after a long time of silence and turned his head to look at the billionaire’s face. “You even had a piece of your Iron Man Suit with you.”

 Tony smiled at him and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I felt your distress.” He confessed. “It didn't feel like the feeling was coming from me. It was in the back of my head and I knew it belonged to you.”

 Peter looked at him stunned. “Do you think it’s because of the bond?”

 The billionaire chuckled and pressed him closer to his side. “Maybe. If we have time, we could look into it more closely. Do some research.”

 Peter beamed at the thought of recherche, of knowledge, and it was the moment he realised that maybe the thing between them wasn't just a chemical reaction or a mission for him to make Tony happy. Maybe they really were a perfect match.

  ~*~

  When Tony was allowed to leave the hospital, he felt nothing but relieved. He had been going crazy in there, never any good with patience and he felt restless when he was separated from his lab for too long. Pepper and Peter had left days ago. Pepper had a company to run and Peter continued his internship. Tony had kept him away enough lately, but he missed his boy. He didn’t know if it was because of the bond, but he suspected it might be caused by the kid’s awesomeness, too. Everything he had already seen of the boy was perfect. Shit, if he wasn’t careful, he would become a sap.

 Lab work with Peter turned out to be great. Tony had known he was clever, after all he had seen the blueprints of Peter’s project but watching the boy work was something else. Tony could see Peter had never worked with good equipment before. He’d always feel bad, when an idea didn’t work out and material was wasted, even tough failure was a part of engineering. But after some time had passed, Peter got used to the unlimited amount of resources and it was inspiring to work with the boy.

 The only thing worrying Tony was the pull towards Peter that he felt. Working with him, seeing his intelligence every day, was slowly killing Tony. He was almost constantly turned on, watching the boy’s fingers when he worked. He imagined how it would feel when the boy wrapped them around his cock and Tony couldn’t suppress a shiver. He watched Peter’s ass, saw the muscles flex when he walked and the only thing stopping him from bending the boy over was his stubbornness. On top of that, Peter was almost constantly chewing on something, a pen or a screwdriver, and it was tempting as hell to see the pink lips stretching around something.

 Tony didn’t know if Peter was doing it on purpose, but he couldn’t imagine that such an innocent boy could even try to seduce him. He blamed himself instead, believing that his sick mind was making things up. Only four weeks after they started working together, Tony snapped.

  When he entered the lab this morning, Peter was already there, bending over a workbench to screw a metal piece to the fifth prototype of his prothesis. Immediately, the billionaire’s gaze was glued to the firm little ass, watching it flex in the boy’s jeans. He didn’t announce his arrival to get more time to admire the view. As Peter shifted his weight from one leg to another, Tony could see his cheeks wiggle and he closed his eyes, imagining how they would bounce when he slapped them, when he would split the boy open with his cock.

 Tony would love to strap Peter down to the desk, keeping him there for hours. He would enter him over and over, filling him with his load until it leaked out of him. He would claim his boy so thoroughly that everyone could see who Peter belonged to. Tony knew his thoughts were wrong, that Peter couldn’t possibly want the things he did, but his mind keep wandering even though he tried to fight it.

 “Mister Stark, you’re here. Why didn’t you say something?” Peter ripped him out of his thoughts, looking at him with his innocent Bambi-eyes.

 Tony cleared his throat before answering. “I’m just watching you work. It’s interesting how far you’ve come with your project.” His voice was rough, and even in his own ears it sounded like an excuse, but Peter just smiled.

 “Great, Mr Stark. Would you mind lending me a hand?” Oh, Tony would love to. He would help undress the boy, stuff him full of his fingers and wrap the other hand around Peters cock. But that’s not what the boy was talking about, Tony remembered. He was talking about the prosthetic.

 “Sure.” He replied, struggling to keep his voice neutral.

 “Perfect.” Peter beamed. “Can you walk around the desk and keep the prothesis still? I want to open it and see why it couldn’t react as fast as I want it to.”

 Tony only nodded, disappointed that he couldn't watch his ass any longer, but he could at least see Peter’s face properly now. He held the prosthesis in place and gave the boy enough room to work.

 What he didn’t expect was the boy’s facial expression while he was concentrated. Peter’s mouth fell open and his tongue darted out. He licked his lips, focused on his project. Tony couldn’t tear his gaze from the boy’s lips. They were wet, glistening with salvia and Tony wanted them stretched around his cock. He could see that they were swollen, Peter had probably bitten them, too focused on his project.

 Tony’s thoughts weren’t nice. He didn’t just want to push in, he wanted to choke Peter on it, seeing the boy cry from his cock when he split open his throat. Tony knew his cock wasn’t small, many of his past lover struggled with it, but he’d never wanted to wreck someone so thoroughly as he wanted to wreck Peter.

 When Peter’s mouth opened a bit wider, Tony was done. He let go of the prothesis and jumped back a step as if he had been burned. Peter looked at him confused.

 “Mister Stark, is something wrong?” He asked innocently.

 Tony shock his head, struggling to find the right words. “No, no. Everything is fine Peter. I’m just craving coffee. I want to go to the coffee shop across the street. Shall I get you a coffee too?”

 “Yes, please.” Peter smiled. “I love their cappuccino, it’s amazing.”

 You’re amazing, Tony thought, already halfway out the door. He had to put space between them. It was only a little over a month away from Peter's birthday, and he’ll manage it. The attraction between them was almost unbearable, he had never felt anything like this before, but he couldn’t sleep with Peter until he was twenty-one. His fantasies were so filthy, so wrong that he couldn’t act them out with a kid.

  Twenty minutes later, Tony came back with two coffees in his hand. He felt calmer. For a second, he had thought about relieving himself in the bathroom, but he had quickly dismissed the idea. He was no longer a teenager, so he wouldn’t act like one.

 Peter dumped his work when Tony offered him the cappuccino. “Omg, thank you, Mister Stark. The taste is amazing.“ He moaned during his first sip and Tony closed his eyes, feeling aroused. Again. What the fuck was wrong with him.

 A little bit of foam was still on Peter’s bottom lip and the boy licked it up seductively. Tony’s eyes were on the boy’s lips once again. It had taken the billionaire twenty minutes to calm down, only to be back on the edge of his control after a few seconds. Great, just great.

 Things only got worse. Peter arched his back as he was bend over the workbench once again, his legs were spread to stand securely. He was occasionally sipping his coffee, moaning each time and declaring his love to the coffee shop across the street. When Peter whimpered after his last sip of coffee, Tony snapped.

 He pressed his groin against the boy’s ass, moaning in his ear. His left arm hold Peter securely on the table, making it impossible for Peter to move. “Stop that, sweet boy.” Tony pleaded desperately, knowing he would regret his next words. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me when you offer yourself like that. You’re acting like a slut for me.”

 He had never expected the reaction of Peter to his words. The boy cried out, arching his back even further and rubbing his ass against Tony’s groin. “Please, daddy. Please let me be your slut. I’ve worked so hard to break your patience.”

 The minute the boy called him Daddy, Tony was lost. He growled like an animal, all doubts vanished from his thoughts as if they’d never been there. He gripped Peter’s wrist, holding them firmly behind the boy’s back. His cock was pulsing in his jeans, uncomfortably so, and he thrusted against Peter’s backside. It wasn’t enough.

 “You wanted it, sweet boy? Acting like a slut for me, presenting your lips and your ass, trying to seduce me?” His voice was deep, he didn’t even recognize himself anymore.

 “Yes, please, daddy.” Peter cried. Tony had never seen anyone so beautiful. The boy belonged here, beneath him, crying for his daddy to ravish him. “I’ve tried so hard, Daddy. I bend over every time you looked at me, I bit my lips raw for you. Just please, do something. I need it.”

 Tony growled. His boy was everything he had ever wanted, his soulmate, perfect for him in bed and out of it. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Tony used his free hand to undo his belt and pulled out his cock. He moaned in relief when he was out of his prison.

 “I want you to pull your jeans and boxer down. Don’t take them off completely. Just enough so I can see your milky ass. Can you do that for me, Pete?” Tony could have done it himself, but he wanted the boy to decide whether he was ready or not. “You won’t come today, my sweet boy. I can’t reward you for your slutty behaviour. I won’t fuck you and I won’t even let you blow me until your birthday. I will stroke myself until I’ll come on you pretty cheeks, rub it into your skin to show you that you are mine.” He growled, squeezing Peter’s ass once. “If you want to leave now or want to wait for your birthday, that’s fine, but if you want to stay, it's on my terms.”

 Peter didn’t even have to think. “Please, come all over me, Daddy.” He begged, already tugging down his pants. He revealed the most gorgeous little ass Tony had ever seen. It was milky white, plum and round, inviting him to slap the skin to watch it wiggle. Tony couldn’t resist, he spread the cheeks to get a good look at the tight little pucker between. He wouldn’t touch today, but a look wouldn’t hurt.

 He groaned when he saw the pink muscle. Peter was gorgeous down there, smooth, hairless skin and so responsive. The boy cried out as the billionaire revealed his entrance to the air, and the urge to touch was stronger than ever. But Tony hold back, just one more month.

 Instead, he gripped his cock and started stroking it. He knew he wouldn’t last long; he was already too riled up from the boy’s seduction. His gaze was focused on Peter while he pleasured himself. He enjoyed all the little noises Peter made and watched the ass wiggle when the boy twitched.

 His orgasm came fast, sweeping over him like a train. He trembled, fighting to keep the control of his body. It was white hot pleasure, as intense as he had never experienced before.

 Tony saw his seed splashing on Peter’s backside, covering him and marking him up. He felt pride when the boy surrendered himself to his grip and he felt satisfaction that was deeper than just sexual. He rubbed his release into the boy’s skin, before helping the boy up from the desk. Tony massaged the boy's stiff wrists to stimulate blood circulation and tucked Peter’s pants up, without cleaning his mess. He wanted the boy to feel him a little longer.

 After that, he hugged the boy close, sitting down on the sleeping couch in his lab. He draped Peter on his lap, his arms wrapped around his boy to keep him close. The boy was still hard, but he relaxed into the embrace with a content smile on his face.

 Tony soothed him, unwilling to let the boy go. They sat in contented silence for a few minutes until Tony raised his voice.

 “Pete, I think we need to talk about a few things. Don’t worry, nothing bad.” The boy nodded, still uncertainty in his eyes.

 “Peter, I really like you.” Tony confessed and Peter beamed at his as if it was Christmas.

 “I like you, too Mr. Stark.”

 A warm feeling spread through Tony’s chest. Although he already suspected the boy was developing feelings for him, it was different hearing it from him.

 “Peter, I’m not a good man. In a relationship and in bed.” Tony sighed. “I take too much control and I find it hard to be considerate. I mean, everyone knows, my divorce with Pepper was all over the media.” He swallowed, afraid to lose the boy with his demands in bed or with his carelessness.”

 “Tony.” Peter spoke up for the first time. His voice was steady and calm, all shyness gone. “You are a good man. You look out for others, risk your life for strangers and care about all your friends. What makes you think that's not enough? I really like you. In time, I'll probably love you too.”

 The words were like fire in Tony’s veins, but for once not due to arousal. Even though he tried to be tough, to be fine on his own, it was beautiful to hear that such a perfect young man could think so well of him. He glowed with affection for the boy and it was the first time he believed, given time, he could love Peter too. How could he not? The boy was perfection.

 Still, a little disbelief remains. Tony lowered his head and could no longer look Peter in the eye. “The thing with Pepper, I really tried. I cut back the hours in the lab, tried to be on point for all the social events, I even started to care more about the company. Still, it wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.”

 Peter put a finger under his chin and gently lifted his head. “And what did she say about why she left?”

 Tony shrugged. “That it didn’t work out between us?”

 “Exactly.” Peter smiled warmly at him. “That it didn’t work out between you, not because of you. She wasn’t the right one and that’s fine. You don’t have to cut back the hours in the lab if that’s what you love. Of course, relationships are about compromises, but not about losing yourself. If you have to change for things to work, you’ll be miserable. Tony, Pepper loves you as a friend, I’ve seen that much these past few weeks. You two didn’t work out. But maybe we will. Give us a chance.” Peter started to feel desperate.

 Tony was still not completely convinced. “Pete, how is it right that lust for you as much as I do? You’re more than twenty-years younger than me. I can’t be good for you. The things I wanna do to you, that cannot be normal.”

 Peter smiled at him and brushed through his hair. “Tony, if you think it's wrong for you to feel this way, then my feeling would be wrong too. I love it when you take control and I want to submit to you. Even that means I can't come.” Peter grimaced looking at his neglected dick. “I want this, you want this. That’s all that should matter.”

 Tony looked into the boy's eyes, searching for anything to tell him it was a lie, but Peter’s face was full of honesty. “You really want this?” He asked, sounding more like a child than a grown-up dominant man.

 “I want this.” Peter confirmed. “But only if you try to open up to me. I want you to tell me about your doubts, to give me the chance to help with your guilt. You’re not the only one that has to accept his desires. I almost died of embarrassment when I called you Daddy earlier.”

 Tony swallowed and pressed the boy closer to his chest. “I love it when you call me that, Peter. Don’t be ashamed.” He whispered in his boy’s ear.

 “Then try not to feel guilty about your urges too, Tony.” Peter replied, settling against his chest. “I want you, all of you, maybe the soulshit isn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe we really are a perfect match.”

 Tony buried his face in Peter’s neck. Maybe, Peter was right. There was no other explanation why Peter was so perfect for him otherwise. He wanted to keep the boy and not to fuck it up like he had a million times before.

 “I’ll try, Peter.” He promised, leaning back so he could look the boy in the eye again. “I’ll try, but it won’t always work. There will be times when it will be hard for you to like me.”

 “I just want you to try.” Peter reassured him. “Even when it will be hard.”

 And then Peter kissed him, not a heated kiss, but a sweet one. And Tony let go, gave himself to Peter, knowing if there was anyone he could trust, it was his boy.

Chapter 5

Five weeks later

  Tony Stark was leaning against the passenger door of his new black Tesla. He had parked on the side of a ragged street in Queens, his car obviously not fitting in. The apartment building he was waiting in front of was grey and dirty, but it looked slightly better than the other houses he was surrounded by. Although it was already getting dark, the street was still busy. Children were running around, adults were carrying groceries home and a group of young people were chatting in a corner.

 Everyone was looking at him, of course they were. He stood out with his flashy car and the fancy suit, carrying a bouquet of 21 roses in his arms. More than half the people probably recognized him, wondering why the fuck Tony Stark, billionaire and genius, was standing in a ragged street in Queens on a Friday evening. He didn’t care, used to that kind of attention.

 Tony was waiting for Peter outside his house. He wanted to pick up the boy and take him to a restaurant because today was Peter’s birthday. Finally. Tony couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to show the boy off to the world, everyone had to know that Peter was his, and his alone. In the past, he’d tried to keep his flings to himself as long as possible. He hated the media and their interest in his lovelife, but with Peter, his soulmate, it was different. He intended to tell everyone that the beautiful boy belonged to him, he would shout it from the rooftop if necessary, and taking Peter out in public would be the first step.

 On top of that, Tony’s control was almost broken. He couldn’t resist anymore; he didn’t want to wait any longer. All his guilt had slowly disappeared over the lasts weeks and it was getting harder and harder every day to keep his hands off his boy. And he didn’t want to hold back anymore, he planned to devour the boy, to show him everything he could do to his body. Resisting had only been more difficult after he’d known that the boy wanted him as much.

 Before his thoughts went too far, Tony concentrated on the plans he had made for the evening and the flowers in his hands. They were beautiful red roses and he had paid a small fortune for them, but he didn’t care. Peter deserved everything and Tony was wealthy enough to provide for his boy.

 When Peter stepped out of the door, Tony smiled at him. The boy looked amazing, even more than usual. He was dressed in a plain shirt and dress pants with a soft grey coat on top. Tony was speechless. The clothes fitted perfectly, and he smiled smugly after seeing the boy in the grey coat that Tony had bought him a week ago. Peter looked like his and that made the primitive part of his brain pleased.

 “Happy birthday, my boy.” Tony greeted him with a hug, burying his head in the boy’s curls and inhaling Peter’s sweet smell. The bouquet of flowers was forgotten in his hand. He had never been so happy in his life, being surrounded by his soulmate and seeing Peter’s beautiful smile almost every day.

 “Hey, Mister Stark.” Peter said mischievously, knowing exactly what he was doing to Tony with these words. The billionaire groaned. He had asked the boy weeks ago to call him Tony, and mostly he did, but Peter had discovered the effect of calling him Mr. Stark after a long day in the lab. To summarize, it had been another unsatisfactory evening.

 Tony enjoyed the hug, savouring Peters smell and the warmth of his body, but the boy tensed up after a few seconds. “You’re all right?” The billionaire asked concerned, overwhelmed by the urge to protect his soulmate.

 Peter blushed, eyes lowered on the ground and the primitive part of Tony’s brain cooed because of his innocence. “They’re all watching.”

 Across the street a group of people were staring at them with open mouths. Tony chuckled. “You have to get used to this. You’ll soon officially be my soulmate, people will be staring all the time.”

 Peter paled, looking at him with huge innocent eyes and Tony purred. His boy was the sweetest. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I will protect you.” He couldn’t smoother his smug smile, protecting Peter satisfied something dark inside him. God, he felt like an animal. “I bought you some roses, do you want to put them in a vase before we go?”

 Peter smiled at him and nodded. While he was quickly running upstairs, Tony opened the door of his car, waiting for his boy to return. The billionaire had planned the whole day and he was a bit nervous, everything had to be perfect.

 “Thanks for the flowers, Tony.” Peter said as he got into the car, and Tony didn't know whether he was happy or not to be called by his first name again. Since he was still planning to take his boy to a restaurant, it was probably for the best.

  The drive didn’t take long, Tony made sure Peter didn’t have to spend his birthday in a car, and they arrived in front of an Italian Restaurant in the middle of New York. It wasn’t the fanciest one because Tony knew Peter wouldn’t be comfortable, but he insisted to spoil his boy on his special day, so it would be way above Peter’s budget. Tony parked the car, opened the door for Peter und lead him into the restaurant.

 All heads turned as they entered. Some people looked at them with disgust, probably because of the age-gab, others were jealous, and Tony enjoyed the attention of the other guests. He wanted everyone to know that Peter was his.

 “Mister Stark, I would like to show you your table.” A waiter approached them before they had a chance to ask for themselves. Tony smiled, helping Peter out of his coat and gave a servant both of their jackets. He couldn’t stop himself from placing his hand on Peter’s lower back, and he felt the boy shivering under the touch.

 They were led to a table next to the window with a beautiful view of the central park. Tony could see that Peter was smiling and seeing his boy happy helped him to settle. He would make sure Peter got everything he could ever wish for.

 “Do you like it?” He asked the boy, unable to completely supress the nervousness from his voice.

 “It’s amazing.” Peter beamed at him. “I love Italian. How did you know?”

 “Intuition.” Tony lied. The truth is, he had asked Pepper, bugged her for a whole week until she caved and promised to subtly ask Peter what his favourite food was. Tony still owed her a bottle of wine for the troubles, especially since Peter had apparently not noticed the interrogation.

 “I’m so happy, it’s my birthday at last.” Peter whined. “I swear, I nearly died of blue balls.”

 It was the first time Tony blushed. Fuck, how could his boy say something like this in a restaurant? Peter had been so shy and innocent when they met and now, he was starting to express his own desires. Even though he was still pliant and sweet when Tony showed a little dominance.

 “Don’t say things like this.” Tony groaned. “Or I'm not gonna hold back and fuck you right here on this table.”

 Peter just grinned smugly. “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

 Before Tony had a chance to devour his boy or be embarrassed further, the waiter interrupted their flirt. “Would you like something to drink yet?” He asked and offered them the menus. Tony ordered a white wine and Peter a coke.

 When the waiter left their table, Peter looked at him overwhelmed. “The menu is in Italian.” He complained. “I don’t understand anything.”

 Tony took his hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Don’t worry, sweet boy. Do you want me to translate or should I order for you?” He pleaded silently that the boy would let him order, trust him to pick something he liked.

 “You can order.” The boy answered, blushing again and Tony suppressed a growl. The boy was literally his dream.

 Tony chose Spaghetti with chanterelle for himself and Pizza with shrimp for his boy. Of course, he had asked Pepper to find out what Peter liked, to make a good impression in case Peter allowed him to order. And according to Peter’s face when the food arrived, Tony picked well and he was rewarded with a bright smile.

 The conversation during the meal was comfortable between them, had spent enough time together in the laboratory to get to know the other. They had already skipped the awkwardness that usually goes along with dating.

 Tony took the opportunity to watch his boy thoroughly, his gestures when he talked about his project and his sparkling eyes when he told him all about the last family day with May. While Peter was chatting about his last conversation with Pepper, Tony felt a sudden urge to hold the boy close. Pepper was very important to him, and when he heard his soul mate talk so nicely about his ex-wife, happiness gushed in his chest. Instead of being jealous, Peter not only accepted Pepper into Tony's life, but also tried to make friends with her.

 Feelings Tony had never felt before, grew inside him. “I love you, Peter.” Tony blurted out, interrupting Peter mid-sentence.

 Peter gaped at him like a fish, completely silent. Doubts arose in Tony, accompanied by a sudden urge to leave the situation, but he fought to sit still. He wouldn’t run away, not now, not when the boy in front of him was so perfect. Tony’s hands started to sweat, and he lowered his gaze, unable to look Peter the eye anymore. His whole life was either running away from uncomfortable feelings or trying to change for his partner. But with Peter everything was different, with Peter he allowed himself to be vulnerable, even if he gave power to someone else who would be capable to destroy him.

 “Omg, Tony.” Peter cried out, his voice trembling and Tony raised his head, afraid he’d said something wrong. On Peter’s face was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on the other man, reminding Tony of an angle. Not that he had ever seen an angle before, but that’s how he imagined them to look. Peter took his hand across the table, squeezing it lightly and beamed at him. “I love you, too.”

 Tony felt a smile spreading across his face. He was happier than he'd ever been in his life. This beautiful stunning boy loved him too and belonged to him. He grabbed the boy’s neck, pulling him closer across the desk to press a sweet kiss on his lips. Peter melted under his touch, leaning his forehead against Tony’s and panting even minutes after they separated.

 Tony cleared his throat, still overwhelmed by his own feelings. He had been so caught up in the kiss, in Peter, that he hadn’t noticed that other guests were taking pictures of them. It would be all over the media the next day anyway, but Tony didn’t care. Peter was an adult, and it was his own decision who he wanted to date.

 “I have a present for you.” Tony declared. “Do you want to open it now or later at home?”

 “I don’t want to wait.” Peter’s eyes sparkled and he grinned smugly. “But I don’t want to open it here either. Let’s leave.” The boy licked his lips seductively and Tony let out a groan. One gesture from Peter and he started to lose his control again. Maybe it was time he took what he craved.

 “Check, please.” He waved at the waiter, his eyes not once leaving Peter’s lips.

  ~*~

  In retrospect, Tony couldn’t remember how they left the restaurant. The only thing he recalled was his tongue in Peter’s mouth and how the little ass wiggled when he grabbed him firmly. He hoped that no reporters were lingering in front of the restaurant or he would be able to see a detailed picture of him ravaging Peter in every gossip rag tomorrow.

 It was one of the hardest things Tony had ever done when he released his boy from his grip to get in the car. He would much rather hold him close, keeping him in his arms forever, but unless they wanted to be arrested for public indecency, they had to drive home now. Tony was almost at the point of no return and if he didn’t get a grip on himself right now, it would be too late.

 During the drive, Peter couldn’t sit still. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony watched him shifting on his seat, spreading his legs as wide as possible and when his boy pressed his palm against the bulge in his trousers, Tony growled. “Stop that, boy. Or you won’t come today at all.”

 Peter winced; eyes fluttering shut and lips slightly open, inviting the billionaire to slip his cock right in. Tony’s finger clasped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white and he forced his eyes back on the road. Fortunately, Peter listed to him and removed his hand from his crotch.

  It felt like hours until Tony opened the door to his apartment, although it probably took about ten minutes. He had been waiting for his boy for months and now, so close to his goal, he was about to lose himself.

 As soon as the door slammed shut, Tony pressed Peter against it, hands tucking at his hair to bare the boy’s throat. Peter moaned from the sharp pain, surrendering to him and Tony felt his cock harden from the trusting gesture. He pressed his lips on the boy’s jaw, sucking and marking him up, watching the skin bruise under his assault. Peter melted in the touch and tilted his head even further, giving Tony access to his delicate throat. Having Peter at his mercy, the primal part of his brain preened, knowing the boy was his, and his alone.

 Tony had had many lovers before. Some a little more dominant, some submissive, but never before had anyone given himself so completely in his hands, trusting him with his pleasure and he noticed what he had been missing all these years. Nobody was as close to being perfect as Peter.

 A sudden urge to kiss the boy, to hold him close, overcame him and he pressed his lips tenderly on Peter’s. “I love you.” Tony whispered in his mouth, enjoying the boy’s taste on his tongue. His feelings were so overwhelming that it took him a second to deal with them. “Mine.” He said softly, nibbling at Peter’s lower lip, demanding entrance to his mouth.

 Peter moaned again, opening his lips slightly so that Tony could slip his tongue in. He explored every inch of the boy’s mouth, trying to memorize the taste of him, unwilling to ever let go of Peter’s lips. But the boy had other plans. He pressed his body against Tony’s, rubbing his clothed cock against his leg and whimpered like he would die if Tony stopped. Tony had always loved it when his partners showed him their pleasure and Peter was a needy little thing, moaning and panting exactly how Tony liked it.

 “Mr. Stark, please.” Peter begged, sparking off a fire in Tony’s body with his words. “I need you, I need your cock. Please, let me suck it. Please.” Peter’s voice was trembling, his eyes huge and filled with tears. Never before had anyone begged so sweetly for his cock and Tony couldn’t refuse him.

 He lifted the boy into his arms, carrying him to the sofa in his living room. He sat down, dropping his boy gently between his legs. Peter shifted until he kneeled comfortably, his pink lips close to the billionaire’s clothed cock. He tried to press his face against Tony’s thigh, but Tony stopped him with a firm grip in his hair. Peter cried out in frustration.

 “Behave yourself, boy.” Tony growled, his fingers pressing against the boy’s neck. “I want you to earn Daddy’s cock. I want you crawling in front of me, while you beg me to fuck your mouth. How does that sound, baby boy?”

 Tony felt the boy shivering under his touch, lost in his arousal and he watched Peter, pleased with himself. His boy was a vision, sitting between his legs and waiting for his cock, his lips slightly parted and his tongue darting out. Peter relaxed in front of him, pliant and waiting for the next order. Tony could sit like this for hours, watching Peter on his knees in front of him, begging for his cock.

 Tony’s control snapped after a few seconds and he unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock. Peter’s gaze was fixed on him, watching as Tony stroked himself to full hardness. The boy’s eyes sparkled at the sight and Tony felt his ego burst at the covetous look on Peter’s face. He knew his cock was bigger than average, but when he saw that the boy liked his treat, it clearly inflated his ego.

 “I want you to tab twice against my knees if it’s too much, you understand me, sweet boy?” Tony said forcefully, making sure the boy had understood him as he nodded.  

  “May I, please Mr. Stark?” Peter begged and Tony smirked at the desperation in the boy’s voice. He gestured him to come closer and took his own cock in his right hand, smearing his precome all over Peter’s face.

 “Look at you, so desperate for me. You can’t wait for my cock filling your mouth, can you, boy?”

 Peter whimpered and opened his mouth wider, trying to coax the billionaire to fed him his cock. But Tony took his time, touching his cheeks and his lips with the tip of his cock without giving Peter what he wanted. Peter’s lips looked gorgeous coated with his precome.

 Only when Peter was almost crying with desire did Tony show mercy and pressed the tip of his cock into Peter’s mouth. Tony was ready to burst. The warm wet heat made him go crazy and he closed his eyes, fighting against the urge to thrust deeply. Peter tentatively licked across his slit, tasting the salty precome and Tony felt himself twitching in Peter’s mouth, his tip bumped against Peter’s throat.

 He had always loved getting head from his partner, he loved the rush of control when he buried his hands in his partner’s hair, owning his mouth and controlling his breathing. But Peter was something else. He was so beautiful on his knees in front of Tony like he belonged there, like he was made for sucking Tony’s cock. It had never felt as intense as it did today and his whole body was tingling with the rush of power.

 Greedily, Peter tried to get more of the man into his mouth, but Tony stopped him effectively by grabbing his hair. “We have time, Peter.” He scolded the boy. “Take it slowly.” Patience would make everything so much better.

 Peter whined, but Tony stood firm, pulling his cock out of Peter’s mouth. “Behave boy, or you’ll get nothing.”

 Peter stopped struggling immediately and became pliant once again. He craved to get the billionaire back inside and Tony could see Peter’s hard cock was straining inside his jeans, but the boy kept quiet, waiting for anything the man was willing to give him.

 Tony only lasted a minute until he pressed back in, giving the boy more of his cock this time. Peter moaned; the vibrations around him felt like heaven and Tony groaned loudly. Gone was the slow rhythm. He started to thrust into the boy’s mouth, feeding him more and more every time he dived back in. Peter was taking him like a champ, sucking him, pleasing him, doing everything he demanded of the boy.

 Peter had started to rub his cock against Tony’s leg and the billionaire could see the look in the boy’s eyes, could see how far gone he was. He was deeply trapped in his submission for him and Tony promised himself to take care of the boy, to show him pleasure he had never experienced before. If he commanded Peter to come in his pants now, Peter would probably, spilling over Tony’s legs like a dog in heat.

 “You are made for this, made to be my little cock slut. I just need to feed you my cock and you are ready to burst, rubbing all over me like a bitch in heat.”

 Peter groaned and Tony used the opportunity to press deeper. The boy’s throat convulsed around his heavy flesh and he started to gag, but Tony showed no mercy. He fucked Peters throat however he wanted, only drawing back when the boy needed to breath. He loved the tight heat surrounding his tip, loved that Peter didn’t complain but took him like he was made for it. Nothing had ever felt better than Peter’s throat convulsing around his tip and he lost himself in the moment with his boy.  

  When Tony sensed he was getting close, he pulled back, resting his tip on the boy’s tongue. He didn’t want to come too soon, he wanted to bend the boy over later, burying himself in that plump little ass. Peter whined at the loss, begging with his innocent eyes for his cock once more, but he didn’t move. Tony was proud of him.

 “I want to take you to the bedroom and fuck you.” Tony growled, gripping the base of his cock to stop himself from spilling. “Is that okay with you?” He watched his boy closely, making sure he didn't do anything Peter didn't want to do.

 “Please, Mr. Stark.” Peter was already begging, shifting on his knees, unable to get any friction on his neglected cock.

 Tony closed his eyes and pulled himself together so as not to lose his patience. “I want you to go to the bedroom now. Undress yourself and get comfortable on the bed. I’ll be right there.”

 “Yes, Daddy.” Peter replied, sending a jolt of arousal through Tony’s body. The billionaire composed himself, needing a second to get the feelings under control. He was almost relieved when the boy left him alone, afraid he would come too soon if he didn’t get a second to calm down. He no longer young, and it would end too quickly if he followed right away.

  Still, he couldn't stand it for five minutes until he went into the bedroom, getting lube and a condom from the bathroom first. The view that greeted him was breath-taking. Peter had taken off all his clothes and folded them neatly beside the bed. He was lying on his stomach, shoulders pressed into the bed while his ass was lifted into the air. The boy had spread his legs like he was presenting for Tony, his milky white cheeks on display.

 “Baby, you’re beautiful.” Tony gasped in wonder, carefully stroking his fingers across the white globes. He couldn’t resist spreading Peter’s cheeks with his hands, revealing the tight pink hole in between. Peter whimpered.

 He had been dreaming about that ass ever since he had spilled over Peter’s back. He’d imagined what it would feel like to thrust into the tight little pucker, glistening with lube and puffy from Tony fingering it open. He had fought the urge for month, always holding back and now that he was allowed to touch, it felt like his dream would come true. He gently tabbed his middle finger against the pucker, testing how the skin would feel.

 Peter cried under the touch, squirming on the bed and trying to press his ass closer to Tony.

 “Shh, sweet boy.” Tony cooed, gently caressing Peter’s back. “We have time. Don’t try to suck my finger down your greedy little hole without lube, okay?” Peter answered with a whine, sounding like a kicked puppy and Tony couldn’t stop himself from thinking how cute his boy was.

 “Daddy, please. I can’t wait any longer. Give me a finger, now.”

 Tony slapped his ass a response, watching the flesh wiggle afterwards. He loved his boy’s eagerness, but he couldn’t let such demanding behaviour slide. “Patience, boy.” He growled. “Patience or you will get nothing.”

 Tony loved how Peter reacted to the threat, how pliant and good he became, how he fought against himself to be his best for Tony but holding back was as straining for the billionaire as it was for his boy. So, he flipped the cap of the lube open and poured a huge amount directly onto Peter’s lower back, letting it dribble down in Peter’s crack. Peter flinched from the cold and a sadistic part of Tony enjoyed it immensely.

 “I’m gonna spread you open.” Tony promised. “Make you ready and gaping for my cock. I’ll fuck you with my fingers until you’re begging for more.”

 “Please, please. I’ll do anything.” The begging went straight to Tony’s cock, his baby was marvellous when he was losing his mind.

 Tony coated his fingers in the clear fluid, one hand wrapped around his own cock without moving it, the other one moving lower to Peter’s entrance. His right index finger tipped against Peter’s hole teasingly, and Tony watched with smug satisfaction how it twitched. The boy’s breath quickened and strained muscles showed how difficult it was for Peter not to move.

 “Shh, you’re doing fine, my boy. So beautiful, so perfect. Relax, open up for me, Pete. Let me in.” Tony started to mumble, helping his boy to relax under his words, while his finger still played with the tight pink pucker. He had never seen anything more beautiful than Peter in at the moment, lying there so trustingly and obediently, moaning occasionally under Tony’s hands. He didn’t want to wait any longer.

 Much less carefully than he had originally planned, Tony thrusted his finger in, forcing the wet heat to open up. Both moaned simultaneously. Peter was warm and soft inside, wet from the huge amount of lube, and Tony couldn’t wait to split him open on his cock. But he could seriously hurt Peter if he went too fast, so he was content to add another finger.

 Peter’s discipline broke when Tony spread both fingers to prepare him for the billionaire’s cock. “Daddy, p-please more. I can take more. Please, I want it to burn a l-little.” He moved his hips back, impaling himself on Tony’s fingers. He was a responsive little thing, already moaning like he was fucked thoroughly.

 And who was Tony do deny his beautiful boy such a lovely request? He lubed up a third finger, pressing it in the tight little hole next to the other two. It was too fast, the stretch must burn like hell, but Peter took it like a champ, rocking his hips back and forth, already moaning for another one.

 Tony starred at him in wonder, his own cock painfully hard in his grip, barely holding back. “Almost there, baby. Just a few more seconds.”

 Tony withdraw his finger, making Peter whine about the loss, opened a condom and pulled it over his leaking cock. He reached for the lube bottle again, purring more on his length and dropped it open onto the sheets. He didn’t care about the mess he was making, too focused on the vision in front of him.

 “Can you turn around for me, boy?” Tony requested, helping Peter to get into the desired position. His boy way laying on his back and Tony could see the cute blush on his face, his eyes sparkling with lust.

 He gripped Peter’s legs, forcing them wide open to make room for himself. He lined his cock, the tip pressed against the stretched hole, but not quiet bracing it. Peter was lost in his pleasure, squirming on the bed, his neglected cock pulsing and leaking onto his stomach.

 “Please, Mr. Stark. I can’t wait anymore.” Tony wasn’t sure if he could ever get enough from his boy’s begging, loving how lost and open Peter was in bed. He didn’t play his arousal, he was truly losing himself in Tony’s arms. Savouring the closeness to his soulmate, Tony pressed in.

  It was like coming home and Tony let out a loud moan. The boy’s hole slowly opened up for him, letting his cock in inch by inch. Peter was tight, tighter than anyone Tony had ever fucked before and he gripped him so good he was almost afraid of shooting early. He couldn’t compare it to anything he had ever felt, his whole body was tingling, buzzing from the pleasure and his mind shut down. He no longer thought about work, about his lab or his problems, the only thing on his mind was Peter, nothing matters but giving Peter the same pleasure he was feeling.

 When Tony had bottomed out, he paused for a second, giving Peter time to adjust to his girth. He loved holding Peter down, choking him on his cock, but he didn’t want to hurt him seriously. His boy, on the other hand, didn’t care about the pain that much. He bucked backwards, impaling himself further on Tony’s cock, moaning like a slut for him.

 “Fuck, sweet boy. You need it bad, don’t you?” Tony teased, catching the boy’s hips to stop him from moving. “Such a slut for Daddy’s cock.”

 Peter cried out, arms wrapping around Tony’s neck and his hole twitching around the thick girth. Tony could see the frustration in Peter’s eyes, tears running down his cheeks. Out of pity, perhaps because he couldn't wait any longer either, the billionaire started to move, his hips pistoling his length in Peter’s body.

 “Look at you, boy.” Tony gasped. “You’re usually so shy, but once you get dicked down properly, you’re whimpering like a slut. Is that all you need to relax? A fat hard cock in your ass, filling you up?”

 “Yes, Daddy.” Peter cried, shame long forgotten. “B-but only yours, Daddy. Need only your cock.”

 Tony snarled possessively, his cock twitching at the possibility of owning this lovely boy.

  They did not have time to take things slowly, they had done slow in the last months. Tony forced himself into Peter’s body again and again, watching the pink pucker where they were joint, and he knew he couldn’t last much longer. He shifted slightly, aiming for Peter’s prostate and a loud cry confirmed he had found it.

 “So good for me, baby boy.” Tony was panting. “You look so beautiful spread around my cock. You were made for me, made to be my little slut, weren’t you?”

 “Yes, Daddy. Yes, please. Made for you, only for you.” Peter was really a sweet little thing.

 Peter’s untouched cock was angry red, bouncing between them and Tony loved the desperate picture. He didn’t touch it, gripping his boy’s hips tighter instead, thrusting into Peter’s hole like his life depended on it.

 The boy was about to lose himself, his moans getting louder and louder, his hips twitching on the sheets with such force that Tony was unable to hold them still. Tony’s pleasure kept rising and he knew he would come soon, so he fumbled between their bodies to touch Peters cock.

 “Daddy, T-Tony, I’m coming.” Peter screamed. “Please, I’m so close.”

 “Then come for me.” Tony said, adoration in his voice. “Come for me, now.”

 As soon as he touched the tip of Peter’s cock, his boy was coming. He convulsed, his hole squeezing around Tony while his back lifted off the bed. The boy’s eyes rolled back in his head and Tony watched in awe as Peter was consumed by his orgasm. He was so beautiful, Tony felt warmth spreading in his chest.

 He was close, too, keeping up the thrusts to search for his own orgasm. He continued fucking Peter, watching his boy riding the height of his pleasure, never slowing down. Peter’s face was twisted from overstimulation, but Tony showed no mercy.

 He felt himself getting close, the familiar tingle starting in his spine and he picked up his pace. White hot pleasure rushed through his body, amplified by Peter’s still twitching hole. Tony came, his hips stuttering while he buried himself as deep in the boy as possible. It was overwhelming, waves and waves of pleasure were crashing down on him, and his cock was spilling inside of the condom. He came longer than he ever did before, needing minutes to catch his breath.

  When Tony felt like moving again, he pulled out carefully, earning a wince from his boy. He stripped off the condom, fastened it with a knot and dropped it on the floor. Then, he picked up some handkerchiefs from the bedside table, cleaning Peter sporadically, before pulling him into his arms.

 “I love you.” Tony mumbled, pressing a kiss on Peter’s forehead and listening to their fast beating hearts.

 “I love you too.” His boy shifted, until Tony was laying on his back, Peter’s head resting on his chest.

 “Tony, it was… wow.” Peter said, making the billionaire smile, and wondering how he had ever earned such luck.

 “Yes, it was.” Tony replied, stroking Peter’s bare back as he lost himself in the moment.

 Being close to Peter was all he could ever want. He wanted to fuck his boy, spend time with his boy and cuddle him to death. He wanted him as a partner more than he had ever wanted Pepper. Peter was perfect for him, and with the boy b his side, Tony knew he could face everything.

 On the bedside drawer was Peters present, still wrapped up. Tony had booked a trip through Europe, planning to show Peter more than just the hospital in Switzerland, but he couldn't bring himself to get up so quickly to give Peter his present.

 His eyes drifted shut, satisfied with the good sex and Tony knew he had never been happier in his life. It didn't matter what he would read about them in the media the next day, he could bear anything if only his soul mate was by his side.

[fand0mfancies]

Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

 Fandom Questions

 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

 2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

 3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

 4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

 5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

 6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

 Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

 I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

 7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

 Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

 Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

 8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

 9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

 10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

  Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

 11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

 12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

 13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

 15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

 16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

 17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

 18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

 19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

  Author Questions

 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

 Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

 22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

 23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

 24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

 25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

 26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

 27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

 30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

 33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

 34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

 35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

 36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

 37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

 38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

 39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

  Fanfiction Questions

 41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

 Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

 42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

 FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

 Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

 theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

 JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

 missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

 Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

 43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

 44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

 45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

 46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

 47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

 48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

 49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

 50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

 51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

[rrattlesnake-archive]

Nichijou: A Reflection

It’s December 29, 2019, and I’m packing up my things on a trip to a resort in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. One of the things I brought along was my iPad 4. It had looked pretty worn out after years of on-and-off use, but still functional. Normally, I would’ve used it to play random apps and games; the iPad was my little boredom buster when things got stagnant. But I had outgrown the magic rectangle. I had handed over my gamer card, as none of the apps I loved provided any real entertainment value after years of use. At this point, I only used it to watch TV shows. I had some good selections, like The Eric Andre Show, Xavier: Renegade Angel, Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell, and Portlandia, but I thought it would be nice for a new addition. I remember someone telling me long about about something called “Nichijou”, and out of nowhere that memory came back. I had only heard of it, but now it was time to actually watch it. I purchased the show and fell asleep.

I’m on the plane and thought it would be a good idea to start 2020 by starting the first episode of Nichijou, and it was a great idea in hindsight: to kick off an entire decade with a highly praised anime. On New Year’s Eve I was at an outdoor performance, and it was spectacular. Fire breathing, drumming, everything. I checked my phone, and I had only 15 minutes to make it back to my hotel room and initiate the plan. I ran as fast as I could go, but for some reason I could not remember how to get back to my room, something we joked about for the whole trip ever since we got lost on the first day. I returned with only two minutes to go. I opened time.is and prepared myself for the big moment. The fireworks went off a few seconds before the countdown ended, but at the stroke of midnight, I was successful. The opening logos... Kadokawa... Funimation... and then...

“What’s wrong, Yuuko?”

“I don’t have any motivation to do anything.”

“What do you mean? We’re high school students. The new semester just begun! If you just start doing things, the motivation will come to you naturally!”

Those first lines were the start of an incredible journey through the lives of three high school girls, a robot and her creator, and a whole bunch of other personalities. And dare I say, I loved every single minute of it.

Yuuko and Mio are near-polar opposites. The former always forgets her homework, but the latter will always try to make sure she does alright, despite her seemingly turning on Yuuko at some points. While this got a bit intense, it still made for great comedy. In one of my favourite moments of the series, Yuuko’s helping Mio out with her manga, but she encounters mishap after mishap, like spilling ink all over a page, and then trying to get a characters’ face exactly right. She keeps trying until they run out of manuscript paper. Then later in the episode, Mio chastises Yuuko for thinking she would get more, believing that she made excuse after excuse after excuse, and honestly it looked like Mio was about to kill her. But in a perfectly executed moment, it’s revealed Yuuko got the manuscript after all. You’d think Mio would chastise her further but... all she can say is something Yuuko said previously...

While those two are great and all, it’s Mai Minakami that steals the show. She is the ultimate silent killer, stealthily finding ways to mess up the other two’s day, but it’s usually Yuuko who’s more reactive to her japes. Highlights include standing on her own desk, hitting Yuuko with a book, and using the “Incantation of Resurrection” to win a stair game, which backfires on her. Who knew such a quiet mind could pull off pranks like these?

The Shinonome Lab is a classic example of someone who knows too much for their age. Hakase is just a little kid, but she was able to build Nano... somehow. I’m not going to question it. They’re also a source of great comedy, with all of Nano’s “features”. and eventually a storyline of her trying to fit in with the others at school. It goes from funny to heartwarming over the course of the series.

Of course I couldn’t talk about Nichijou without mentioning the high-quality animation. I mean, it’s Kyoto Animation, so every frame is done with the utmost care and attention. How the animators managed to pack in so much detail is beyond me, but they did a tremendous job with it all.

The other bits such as “Helvetica Standard” and “Word-Time” keep the surreal humour coming, and that’s what I like in my comedy. The weirdness coupled with the mundanities of life can lead to well-executed humour, and Nichijou did not disappoint. The jokes and gags genuinely made me laugh no matter how intense the reactions were, and even something as simple as a lens falling out of someone’s glasses provoked chuckles. This show reinvigorated my passion for weird comedy, and as a result, I can proudly say that Nichijou saved my life. In times like these, we need something to lighten the mood, and Nichijou kept me from descending into the depths of depression. It fit the bill for all my preferences of humour to a t, and it never disappointed me if a joke fell flat, because it would grow on me over time. I can easily say Nichijou is one of the best anime comedies out there, nay, the best comedy anime, the best anime, period. I cannot thank whoever said the show’s name to me years ago, because if that word had dissolved in my mind, my life would be more ordinary than theirs. But perhaps it is a series of miracles after all...

I originally planned to watch one episode a day, so that the last episode would be on January 26. However, college and coronavirus delayed those plans, but I refused to give up in watching the whole thing. Yesterday, May 25, I had decided enough is enough. I was going to watch the last five episodes in one sitting. As I listened to the final ending song I felt a sense of accomplishment in knowing I had completed a full series... it almost had me tearing up but I was strong enough to hold it all back. Of course, I could always go back to the beginning and start again, which I will do. But until then, I had a masterpiece of comedy in my hands, and I was ready to get inspired by it.

As for the iPad 4, I did a factory reset so another member of the family could use it for themselves, exactly 7 years to the day after I first got it. I now use an iPad 7, and I couldn’t be happier with the upgrade.

[momentofmemory]

fictober - day eighteen

Prompt #18: “Secrets? I love secrets.”

Fandom: Netflix Marvel (Daredevil)

Rating: PG

Characters: Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson, Karen Page, Peter Parker (mentioned)

Words: 1220

Author’s Note: a direct continuation of day 16′s prompt, and essentially a teaser for my nano this year (maybe). probably enough fun to enjoy by itself if you want to, though.

>>Ice Cream, Donuts, & Danger

Daredevil crawls through his apartment window at six am, and Matt Murdock crawls out the door at nine.

He can’t remember the last time he stayed out on patrol this late; at least not since the Fisk fiasco. It’s one of the many ways he’s trying to balance protecting his city with maintaining his friendships—something which, he’s slowly learning, are both things he needs. Last night’s impromptu superhero team-up had superseded that balance.

Then again, he thinks, remembering how Spider-Man’s heart had sped up at the idea of future interactions, maybe it had been about making friends, after all.

Either way, Matt’s going to be late getting into the office so he stops by Foggy’s favourite donut shop and orders a baker’s dozen to take with him as a peace offering. Foggy will be all over them and Karen will pretend to not be interested, but will grab one the second she realizes she can use it to annoy Foggy—hopefully that will be enough to distract them.

All in all, it’s nearly ten by the time Matt pushes the door to their makeshift office open, and the smell of fresh-baked breads and deli meats from Theo’s shop fills his nose.

“Matt! Oh, yes, thank god you’re here.”

Foggy’s voice crashes into Matt, and even though he picked out the even rhythm of their heartbeats two blocks ago, he tenses and listens for any sign of danger.

Danger is the furthest thing from his friend’s mind, however, as Foggy says, “True or false: we have no idea what went on behind the scenes of the new line of Avengers-themed ice cream, and therefore we should mind our own business and not start amassing precedent for it. Also, are those donuts?”

Matt relaxes and deposits the box on the counter, which Foggy promptly pounces on. “They are, and morning, Karen.”

“Morning Matt, but listen, even the Avengers don’t know where the Hulk is so there’s no way Ben & Jerry’s does.”

Foggy pulls a donut out of the box—a powdered one, Matt thinks, given the amount of sugar particles that suddenly flood the area. “The Sokovia Accords gave the government the right to send the Avengers wherever they want; it’s reasonable to believe their authority extends to signing off on brand deals.”

“Dr. Banner’s been missing since before those were introduced,” Matt offers.

“Exactly” Karen walks over to join them, slightly burnt cup of coffee in hand. “So they weren’t able to get permission to use his likeness, which makes it a gross misuse of the right of publicity and they should be sued out of their minds for exploitation.”

Foggy sighs. “We’re defense lawyers, Karen, not prosecutors. We’ve been over this. And besides that, section fifty-one of the New York Rights Law only covers name, portrait, picture, or voice, and any decent corporate lawyer could argue Hulk isn’t really Banner’s real name. Hell, some people might even argue they’re not even the same person!”

Karen’s nails tap on the counter, too ragged sounding to’ve been cut—she’s been biting them again. “When did the Hulk first show up?”

“What? Why does that—”

“Ten years ago,” Matt interrupts. “Which would make him a child if they’re two separate people, and therefore unable to give consent regardless of whether they contacted him. As the closest next-of-kin, Dr. Banner would make all legal decisions on his behalf.”

“On second thought, I take it back.” Matt feels the air ripple as Foggy points at him. “Go back to doing whatever it was that made you late.”

Matt’s mouth twitches in amusement. “Actually, the legality of super heroes might be the perfect segue into that.”

“That being one is the most illegal it’s ever been and you’ve decided you’re going to stop? Oh thank god.”

“Foggy.” Skin against fabric, unsteady footfalls as Karen shoves him playfully away. Matt smirks.

“Thank you, Karen.” Matt folds his cane as Foggy sputters. “Now, the real question of the hour. How good are you two at keeping secrets?”

“Secrets? I love secrets.”

“You hate secrets, Foggy.”

“Not if I’m the one that knows them!” He pauses. “And don’t have to, you know, keep them. From people. That I care about. Wait, is that going to be an issue here?”

“Only if you super care about Spider-Man.”

Foggy nearly drops his second donut. “Wait, you let me argue over ice cream for that long when you’ve finally met someone cool? Or like, at least more put together than Jessica?”

“The ice cream discussion was clearly a very important matter related to our business. But you might want to hold off on celebrating my new friend, Foggy—I’m pretty sure he’s not even over sixteen.”

“He’s what?” Foggy actually does drop his donut this time, and Matt winces as some of the powder gets on his jacket.

“Older than the Hulk, at least,” Matt says.

“Oh god.” Foggy puts his head in his hands. “I have a mug with a sixteen-year-old’s likeness on it. Karen’s right, we gotta prosecute this.”

Karen’s sweater swishes as she holds up a hand. “Before we decide on career paths, I thought Spider-Man stuck to Queens—what were you doing all the way out there?”

“He does, but he was in Hell’s Kitchen last night. Apparently he tracked a weapons deal from Queens to here.”

“Not bad for a kid.” Karen swipes up the donut Foggy dropped, much to his consternation.

“There was one… slightly concerning aspect.”

Karen pauses mid-chew. “Define slightly.”

“And concerning while you’re at it,” Foggy says. “Because if it’s more concerning than a sixteen-year-old going full vigilante I already know the slightly part’s wrong.”

“I didn’t say I was happy about that either, to be clear.” Matt plays with the edge of his cane. “But I’m more concerned with who he might have gotten mixed up with.”

The easy camaraderie vanishes.

Karen clears her throat. “…Fisk?”

“No.” Both of his friends sigh in relief, until he adds: “The Hand.”

A few crumbs from Karen’s donut fall to the floor when her hand tenses instinctively, and Foggy sucks in a breath.

“Shit.” Karen walks away to stand by the window.

“Just so we’re on the same page,” Foggy says, gripping the counter so tight the wood groans under his fingers, “this is just a weird new super villain dressed like a bunch of phalanges, and not the organization that almost killed you. Twice.”

“The latter.” Matt winces. “Don’t worry, I’m going to try to keep the kid out of it.”

“No offense, Matt, but we’re honestly more worried about you keeping yourself out of it.”

“Foggy,” Karen interrupts, then cuts herself off. Her voice is still facing the window when she finally speaks again. “I still have some contacts at the Bulletin, Matt. I’ll see what I can come up with on my end.”

Her heel scrapes on the floor as she turns towards them. “We all know you’re going to be working your end, and I’m not going to try to stop you. But this time we’re going to do it together—all of it. None of this trust in the last hour bullshit.”

Matt nods, and slowly, Foggy does to.

“Good.” Matt hears the smile come back, however hesitantly, into her voice. “And let’s see if we can’t get that memo to the Spider kid, too.”

[five-wow]

Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by the wonderful @novemberhush. Thank you, omg, because I love rambling about writing and this is the best kind of opportunity to do so, handed on a silver platter, ahh. 😊

-

Author Name: Square / Squares / SquaresAreNotCircles

Fandoms You Write For: I’m a fandom hopper! In the past year or so it’s been Hawaii Five-0 (a truly ridiculous amount), Shadowhunters, Venom, Harry Potter, due South and Stargate Atlantis. Other fandoms I’ve written at least one fic for are Twilight, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Glee, BBC Merlin, BBC Atlantis, Teen Wolf, In The Flesh, Star Wars, Supernatural, the MCU and High School Musical. And uh, Alexander the Great/Voltaire fic (which would be... history fandom? RPF?) and one (1) Judas/Jesus Biblefic. If we’re getting really technical, also a tiny little bit of One Direction fic.

It should be noted that all of this is about fic that ended up getting posted somewhere on the interwebs - there are multiple Star Trek (TOS/AOS and DS9) fics lingering in my drafts (!! one day I will finish one of them), as well as some How To Train Your Dragon, The Good Place and Deadpool stuff, and definitely more I’ve forgotten.

Where You Post: Since I made the switch to writing in English everything has landed on ao3, but I used to write mostly in Dutch, so there’s still close to a million words, I think, under my name on quizlet.nl (not to be confused with quizlet.com, which is a very different website).

Most Popular One-Shot: That depends on how you’re measuring popularity! Going by kudos, it’s Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth), a Magnus/Alec Shadowhunters fic. It’s the truth is a really old fic about Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood from Harry Potter that has the most hits out of all my works, and That time Steve kissed every single Avenger (and also Bucky), an MCU Steve/Bucky fic, has the greatest number of comment threads.

Also, since this is an h50 blog: for my fic in this fandom Wanted: partner (in crime) has the most kudos and hits; You had me at meow has the most comments.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I’m working on one for h50 (going slowly, so slowly), but I don’t have any posted to ao3. I used to write a lot of multi-chaptered work in my quizlet.nl days, and I think my most popular fic there was probably the second fic I ever wrote, when I was fourteen or fifteen, which was a next-gen Harry Potter fic with shifting and overlapping POVs from the three Potter kids. It was kind of, well, not great, but it’s probably what really cemented my writing habit, it’s still my longest fic ever (over a 100k!) and I got my first fandom friends out of it, including one I’m still in contact with to this day, even though neither of us writes much if anything for Harry Potter anymore.

Favourite Story You Wrote: Ohhh, that’s such an impossible question, especially because I’ve been churning out one-shots like I might actually be getting paid for it, so there’s so much to choose from, which is a thing I have difficulty doing at the best of times, holy shit. Uh, I once wrote a 70k Remus/Sirius (Harry Potter) modern college-ish AU in Dutch that I still like; weirdly, I think that Biblefic holds up (also Dutch), and the HSM fic is fun to reread once in a while because of the fourth wall break, as is That escalated quickly, a Percy/Oliver fic. Ooh, and the fic about Shuri and Stucky and a goat!

For h50, it’s even harder to choose, because my preferences change pretty much weekly (a combination of newer fic being shinier, looking back at fic from even just a few months ago and finding things I would have done differently now, and comments influencing the way I personally look at my own fic), but right now, I’d say I still really like the fic where Steve adopts some guinea pigs, the one with the slightly tipsy team bonding by talking about mutual crushes and this 9.11 coda fix fluff getting together thing.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: That Biblefic, haha, because it’s a very complicated topic and my aim was definitely not to offend. People were really sweet about it, though! Mostly, they were kind of shocked it wasn’t crack, but that’s fair, because so was I.

Also pretty much anything I post in a new fandom, really, and low key just... anything at all. I’m always a little scared I tagged something super badly or accidentally copy-pasted the wrong text or unknowingly wrote something super offensive or whatever, despite my double- and triplechecking of the posting form. (I’m also still kind of scared people on ao3 will randomly decide they hate my fic and my writing and me personally (ao3 is really big and very anonymous and coming from the small town that was quizlet.nl even in its heyday, that’s scary), but that fear has abated as I’ve posted more, just because the data is showing pretty conclusively that thought is as irrational as it sounds. Everyone is always so nice, gosh.)

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Mostly, I steal lines from random songs. I have a small pile of song lyrics to use as potential titles, because going on a seperate hunt for every new fic would take most of my waking hours. Sometimes, I’ll use a pun (like You had me at meow or Retail Therapy) or something else that I think sounds good, especially if the fic is mostly comedy and/or has a specific premise that would do well in a title (like Five times the Governor of Hawaii suspects his taskforce leaders are violating fraternization policies (and one time they tell him they are)).

Do You Outline: I’m mostly writing fic of (sometimes much) less than 5k at the moment, so not really. I do sometimes write tiny bits of a bunch of scenes and then fill in the rest around that, which is a kind of outline, in a way. For longer works, I usually make a one page bullet point list of things that need to happen and work from there, because I can’t do really extensive outlining or I’ll just get caught up in the details and lose all of the oversight a tool like that is supposed to give you, as well as most of my enthusiasm for the project.

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: Of the ones posted? On ao3, all of them, because unfinished posted one-shot works would require some strange bending of those concepts. On quizlet.nl, I do have some abandoned works, but I think 80% is finished.

In-Progress: SO MUCH. Seriously, just, so much, oh god. I’d really like to write another Stargate Atlantis fic (and I have 30% of one done), and something more for due South, too, and maybe a small Percy/Oliver thing again some time because they were my very first OTP and I kind of miss them, but mostly I have, like, 100+ half written things for h50. I really wish that number was an exaggeration. There’s no way they’ll all get finished, but maybe... a third? Mayhaps?

That One Truly Long H50 Fic that I was already talking about way back in October last year is also eternally “in progress”. The thing is that it has about 25k now, after a year, and I think it needs... at least four times that. Probably. So either I’ll have to stick with this fandom and my slow progress for another three years to have a shot at getting it finished, or I’ll need to find a way to up the speed a little. Maybe I could try working on it for NaNo this November? That would be pretty awesome, but honestly, part of why it’s moving this slowly is because NaNo-style fast and messy writing for this scares me a little, because I might end up writing a lot, decide it’s not what I wanted for it, and become too intimidated to ever edit and/or rewrite the entire thing. But idk, I probably just need to get over my own fears, because I really do want to write Longer Fic again. Short stuff is fun and feels really productive and that’s great, but I miss the actual slow burn and build-up that only 50k+ words can give you.

Coming Soon: Hopefully a lot? For h50, that is. I have no idea what’s getting posted next, because I’m never entirely sure what’s going to be finished next and something really random might come jumping in, but at the moment I’m trying to direct most of my energies at a slightly longer fic I’ve been working on for months (not The Long Fic, a different one), a fic labeled “9.01 memory loss fic”, another one temporarly entitled “Perfect Kauai beach house vacation”, and maybe an ace!Steve fic I’ve been working on, if I ever manage to uh, actually finish that, instead of rewriting three sentences during every round of editing and never actually adding anything to fill in the gaps it still has. There will also be more season 10 codas, in all likelihood.

Do You Accept Prompts: I’ve never done that before in the traditional way, but I’m thinking about it! I’d love to try (and it would be a breath of fresh air, in some ways!), but the main thing holding me back is that I have way too much on my plate with just my own ideas to work off of, and I don’t want to disappoint people. Maybe if I do drabble-ish prompt fills? It’s definitely been on my mind.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m excited for a lot of stuff, but honestly, the top spot right now probably goes to the ace!Steve fic. I’m not even sure it’s that good, necessarily, but it’s, idk, really cathartic, I suppose. Seriously self-indulgent in strange but very good ways. I really like writing it. (Second spot goes to the beach vacation fic, because I haven’t actually written that much for it, but it’s been my go-to easy happy place for the last few weeks.)

-

I’m tagging @love2hulksmash @thekristen999 @stephmcx @girlonastring @flowerfan2 and @pterawaters, which is six people because I can’t count, but I’m about to make it seven because I’m also tagging you, the person reading this (hi there!). Say I tagged you and tag me so I can read it! I know that kind of thing can feel awkward, but it won’t be, because I’m cheering you on. Go for it, if you want to do it. :D

[shutupandwriteclub]

Interview with Becky from Shakespeare House💛

1. How old were you when you started writing?

I was still in school, it must have been when I was thirteen or fourteen. I used to love writing in English literature - when we were asked to do a short story, I was always the one who finished first with three pages worth. Everyone else seemed to write half a page.

2. What was the first story you wrote and what was the title?

It was called 'Ancient Wars', I wrote it when I was sixteen but I scrapped it. It was a fantasy romance full of battles, magic and of course a romance between a king and a magical warrior. I didn't think it was any good but now that I'm more mature I may look through and revive it.

3. What would you say is your main genre you write?

I have to write about romance even if there's a second genre i write about. It's a part of life and I can't imagine writing a novel without some form of romance in it. 

4. What do you think is the best story you have written?

To be honest, the story I'm writing now ('The Darker Side Of Me') is the best in my opinion. I seem to have a lot more passion about this one than anything I've written so far.

5. Out of all the characters you have written about, who do you think is your favourite?

I think I have two favourite characters, the first being my main character's dad from 'The Darker Side Of Me' because he is incredibly lovable despite his exterior, he is a doting dad and a romantic husband. What's not to like? But I also find Skye interesting and enjoyable to write about because his background is horrendous and when you find this out, you understand him so much more.

6. What is your advice to younger writers and to those who have just started?

Just write what's in your heart, keep your imagination kicking and don't think negative thoughts about your creation. I did that with my first story and ended up scrapping it like i said before. Having thinking about it now, it is a good idea so that's why I'm thinking about rewriting it.

7. Where do you see your writing in 5 years time?

Hopefully, I'll have a couple of completed novels and I'll be working on some prequels/ sequels. And maybe I could have published some? 

8. What book are you currently writing?

I've got a few on the go - 'The Darker Side Of Me', a fantasy romance which only has a draft and a prologue to called 'Pixie Dust'. I'm also working on a collection of romantic short stories called 'Now And Forever' which was inspired by my lovely leader Chelsea who gives team Shakespeare 'nano fiction' in SUAW club.

9. Have you ever thought about publishing your work either self publishing or traditional?

I have and I would love to share my imagination with anyone who is willing to read. I just don't know how to go about it, I must ask around or research it myself.

10. Have you ever experienced writers block and how do you cope with it?

Oh yes! The dreaded writer's block! I tend to o away from my current work and come back to it after about a week or so with a fresh head. I often work on other projects in the meantime.

11. How do you feel your work has improved since you first started writing?

I've had lots of advice especially in SUAW and I think I've improved a lot on my tenses because I've always struggled with that. And also i have definitely improved writing blurbs.

12. What is the most important thing to remember when starting a new book?

Definitely, do a rough plan/ outline what the novel is all about. That way you can always look back on your plan for reference.

13. What would you say makes your current book unique?

What makes my current novel unique is the fact that most of the situations that happen in it has been taken from my own personal life experiences.

14. Where can your readers follow you on social media?

Facebook is the only social media I currently use, unless wattpad is classed as one.

15. What do you do in your spare time?

I'm a gamer so you can catch me on my ps4 or laptop most days. Either that or with my head stuck in a book or I'm working on my book(s). I often chill with mates or go the pub to play pool and have a drink. I also like to go to gigs/ festivals.

You can read Becky’s book Darker Side Of Me, on Wattpad.

[ijustreallylovedaredevil]

12, 15, 17, 27, 33, 39, 40

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

I’m going to go with Matt, because his experience of the world is so unique and yet something I can still identify with. (Hello autistic coded character!) Also he’s an idiot who I love.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

They’re usually minor OCs, and I will use a random name generator, or pick the name of a friend, or just a name I like. There’s rarely more behind it than that.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“Good enoughfor me,” Matt decides. “If my wedding jacket can’t make my husband to be thirstover me, what’s the point in getting married.”

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Most of the time I have a few key points laid out, and fill the rest in as I go. A few times I will plan a story out with a lot more detail (like the road trip story I did with the Avengers, and the one time I did NaNo). It would absolutely be helpful if I did this more often, especially so when I forgot about stories halfway through and then went back a year later I could remember what I was planning.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

*slaps roof of fic* this bad boy can fit so much emotion in it

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

Literally never first person. I mostly write in third person, but there’s a special place in my heart for writing in second person. 

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Some people do. Other people I just tell them I write stories.

[scope-dogg]

Expelled from Paradise: Final Thoughts

When the first SRW T PV rolled in, this was the one entry that puzzled me a bit - while all the other long overdue returnees and new entrants were all well known to me one way or another, this is one I’d barely heard of - I’d seen one review video on youtube years before that delivered a verdict of “it’s okay”, and I barely even remembered that. However, interviews with SRW T’s production staff revealed that this one was actually pretty heavily requested in Japan. I couldn’t really get my head around that, this being a 100% 3D-CG anime movie starring a main character in a ridiculous outfit that had her entire ass hanging out and made her look like an xbox gijinka to boot. However, now that I’ve actually seen it I think I understand now - this is a 2014 movie by Gen Urubuchi, a guy who’s had a fairly chequered history with a couple of duds like the recent disappointing netflix godzilla trilogy and the lukewarmly-received mecha anime Aldnoah Zero, but has also knocked it out of the park with other works like Fate Zero and most notably Puella Magi Madoka Magika. I think this one should count amongst his successes, as it elevates itself above its apparent flaws and delivers a story that’s thrilling and interesting in equal measure.

The plot setup is that in the future, a catastrophe known as the Nano Hazard has left the Earth in ruins. To escape the desolation of the ruined Earth, most of humanity now lives on in the form of digitised consciousnesses called Personalities, hosted in a giant server called Deva in orbit above Earth. There, people are free to live in virtual luxury, while the few humans who decided to remain on the surface eke out whatever living they can in the ruins of the old world. However, a hacker known as Frontier Setter has begun breaching Deva’s security to deliver messages about an alleged space travel plan to Deva’s confused citizens. While nobody knows his true identity, Deva’s Central Security council won’t tolerate Frontier Setter’s intrusion, fearing that his true intentions are malign, and in response send their agent Angela Balzac to Earth in a cloned physical body in order to identify and neutralise the threat. There, she rendezvouses with Dingo, a gun for hire who knows the lay of the land on Earth, and sets out on a mission to track down the threat to Deva’s safety.

It’s quite an interesting premise right out of the gate - the concept of digitised personalities isn’t exactly new to sci-fi but I think it was captured in a fairly novel way here. Seeing as it’s a short movie at around an hour and three quarters, it’s difficult to talk about the plot without spoiling it too much, but I thought it was pretty well paced and had its fair share of interesting ideas. My initial impression before watching was that it was a fanservice movie meant for the lowest common denominator, but it had some surprisingly intelligent things to say, even waxing philosophic at points. I’m not saying that it’s a deep galaxy brain story either, but it’s definitely not dumb schlock. Of course, however, the whole reason it’s in SRW T is because of its action and it doesn’t disappoint with that either - while mecha aren’t super prominent until the last half hour or so, that last half-hour is a thrilling rollercoaster ride featuring some really impressively realised mecha combat. In short, whether you like your sci-fi stories loud and exciting or a little more slow-paced and pensive, you’ll probably find something you like in here.

I thought the movie’s characters were pretty good too. While Angela’s outfit is a lot to get past, I thought she was a well-realised protagonist with an equally well-realised character arc, mostly centred around her struggling to come to grips with life in a physical body on Earth having existed purely as data up until that point. A lot of that comes across her interactions with Dingo, who I thought was a really great character - he’s a cocksure and clever rogue who’s out to make a quick buck first and foremost, which is a personality that clashes with Angela’s more by-the-books, results-driven approach in entertaining ways. The real stand-out, however, turned out to be Frontier Setter, for reasons that would be spoilery to go into.

As far as presentation goes, it’d be very understandable for you to see that this is 100% 3D, for both human characters and mecha, and assume instantly that this would look like shit. 99% of the time you’d be absolutely right. However, not this time - clearly this movie’s budget was enough for the 3D CG work to actually look good - and not just passable either, I mean really good. There are times it looks rough, most notably in the movie’s opening scene. However, the rest of the time you can barely even tell that it’s been done solely with computers. It’s backed up by solid visual design - while I do have to once again point out that Angela’s outfit is a glaring exception to the rule (seriously, the lead character designer deserves a slap for it) it’s otherwise superb. Whether it’s the cyberspace inside Deva, or the strangely beautiful desolation of Earth, the environments are really well realised. The real star of the show is the mecha combat however, with the high-tech New Arhan exosuit leading the way. The battles at the end of the movie look fantastic, with superbly choreographed action scenes featuring some of the genre’s trademark flourishes and just a highly mobile, high-intensity, carnage-filled approach in general. It turns the movie’s final act into a huge thrill ride. When Demo D reviewed this movie on youtube, he said that he “felt the hype.” I concur completely.

Overall, I’d strongly encourage anybody who hasn’t seen it to check it out - while there are aspects to it that would be red flags elsewhere, I’d still urge everybody to give it a chance. Perhaps the fact that it was just a short movie with snazzy visuals has me slightly hoodwinked, but out of everything I’ve watched so far for the first time in preparation for SRW T, this is probably my favourite, beating out Rayearth by a whisker - something I really wasn’t anticipating.

As for SRW T, I do think that they’ll have to use some creative license to make it work in the larger plot - I think certain events will have to go down very differently, and they’ll also probably have to push the story past the point where it ends in the movie. However, I’m still looking forward to its contribution to the story - I think the presence of some of its plot aspects will make the world of SRW T a lot more interesting, plus I think there’s room for them to intermesh with a variety of the other stories that’ll be around, from Gun X Sword to Votoms, or even Might Gaine and Gaogaigar. I definitely think from a gameplay perspective the inclusion was warranted, as the New Arhan is going to have a variety of strong and exciting attacks it’ll be able to pull off.

And with that out of the way, there’s only one series left to watch (well, two if you count the OVA) and that’s Aura Battler Dunbine. I’ve heard mixed things about it and don’t really know what to expect, but I’ll be finding out next.