#My manager talks to me like i'm a toddler and it drives me nuts

[sailfish-serum]

I hope everyone who baby talks autistic people dies violently.

[redhoodfucker69]

weird thing happened on tiktok earlier. i came across a tiktok where one of those "autism moms" posted a video of her toddler daughter, hidden behind a kitchen island where we couldn't see her face, having a screaming meltdown.

she must have left her echo chamber of "autism mommies" because there were a fair amount of autistic adults telling her off. i need to make it clear: it is EXTREMELY common for autism moms to post their children having meltdowns to assure other autism moms that this is normal and "educate" people about the nature of autism.

i decided to chime in and specifically said "i am so glad i was not diagnosed as a child because of moms like you. you think she's gonna thank you in ten years for this?" seriously. i often think that maybe it's a good thing i was not diagnosed, and i was extremely to have been born when i was when the internet existed on a home computer and smartphones didn't come out until i was in middle/high school.

she actually replied to me and gave me a canned response about how her daughter, who looks like she's maybe three, idk, is grateful to be diagnosed and she's being raised to be her "best autistic self". i then reminded her that she's not responding to my initial post and she should not be posting her child's meltdowns online. she went silent for several hours, and by the time she got back to me, the audio was removed. she said she removed the audio and was sorry she upset me. i told her it wasn't about my feelings. i'm an adult. i can manage my own upsets. the point was about her child and how she will be humiliated in 10, 20 years because this is a big digital footprint and she isn't even using a nickname for her daughter, she's using her actual legal first name.

the mom actually replied with a real apology and said she's listening and learning.

i just liked the comment and disengaged, but it's kind of changed my perspective on autism moms. i think our culture has heavily normalized posting everything online to be judged by the masses. i myself am a victim of this, and when it gets to parenting, a lot of parents have blind spots. i figured she's now going to take baby steps to protect her children on the internet, bc she was actually receptive to learning.

personally, i do not believe that you should post your children on the internet in any shape or form. there's a parent i actually like on tiktok that only talks about their kids when they're doing their makeup or dying their hair. (drives me nuts that they use no gloves for vivid dyes, no brush, just rawdogging it with their hands, but hey, they're an adult, and if they want stained hands, that's their business). but i have never seen a single video or picture of their children.

but, ultimately, i genuinely think you should not post your children. for a couple of reasons. we learned with family youtubers and their comment sections that pedophiles actively search out child content and sometimes, when they feel particularly bold, engage with it beyond just watching. you never know if someone is jacking off to videos of your children. pedophiles are a minority on the internet, but they actively search out child focused content and get off to it. it's a little harder on tiktok if you stick to the fyp, not the following page, because it cycles through material you might find interesting. but, they can just stick to their following page.

another reason is about child autonomy. your digital footprint is incredibly fucking important in today's culture. you should have the choice to not have a digital footprint, or have it on your own terms, when you are old enough to manage. your parents should not be making that choice for you. they should be protecting you. ofc, i enjoy watching videos of gentle parenting, which is so incredibly important for people to start engaging in, but in the past six months, i have started making the active choice to not watch videos where you can see children's faces. there's ways of showing gentle parenting in a way that still protects you r child. you don't have to post your children. you can talk about issues your children had today, using nicknames, not their legal names, and how they walked through it with your help. you don't have to actively show them to do that.

but, in the case with this mom, i thought "okay. she took a pretty big step today to listen to autistic adults about protecting her child". she should have just deleted the video, but i'm not too pressed about it, because you can't actually see her daughter's face. so, i didn't press her on the issue. baby steps are important. people typically dig in their heels if you start outright attacking them, no matter what good points you make. and she was already under a lot of fire, so i figured whatever i said at that point would go in one ear and out the other.

i think, in general, we're getting better about raising our children. but, people still have the mindset that they're children. which is true, ofc, but i think we need to start coming at it from angle of "these are future adults, and we need to treat them the way we would treat them if they were adults, within reason". i fucking despise autism moms, but i don't fully think they need to be attacked and shamed for their choices, unless it's outright malicious abuse. they'll just double down. but we do need to figure out a better culture. a lot of these autism moms genuinely think they're acting in the best interests of their child, and yes, many of them are just raging ableists, but the majority just aren't putting enough thought to their decisions. they infantilize their children, but i think today was a little victory. she started to view her child as a future adult, not a helpless autistic child who will be completely unaware of everything around her. it's a little step. hopefully, this autism mom will speak to other autism moms, and they'll start realizing that posting their children's meltdowns on the internet, no matter the intent behind it, is not okay. prioritizing another autism mom's "reassurance" over your child's autonomy is not okay. it's just most autistic moms forget their child does have autonomy.

anyways. i just wanted to talk about that. it's not that i don't think autism moms don't deserve to be shamed. it's just that if they're humiliated en masse, odds are they will simply double down. and that doesn't actually help the autistic child they're raising. in general, if we come at people who are probably not acting maliciously, just stupidly, with compassion and sternness, they're going to realize just how fucking stupid they're being. so, i guess, the next time you see an autism mom acting a fool on the internet, recenter her attention on the child's well being. don't come for her personally. prioritize the child she's harming.

[unhingedwomandiaries]

Right, so my relationship with Google Calendar has gone full dumpster fire. I was banking on this digital agenda being the Andre Dawson of month-mapping - you know, a total pro at keeping my life in check - but now I'm reduced to test-driving calendar apps like some sad corporate guinea pig for "Consumer Crap Weekly" or whatever.

There's this app called Prosper that's not completely tragic, but it's making me feel like I'm one step away from becoming the most horrifying creature in existence: a micromanager. And let's be crystal clear - micromanagers are the human equivalent of an ingrown toenail crossed with a persistent ass-antler. They're the walking, talking embodiment of everything soul-destroying in corporate existence.

So why in the sweet name of Sebastian Bach would I want to become one of those control-freak gargoyles in my own bloody life? I'm not running a minimum-security prison bathroom schedule here. I just want to keep my weeks vaguely organized without feeling like I'm conducting a forensic audit of my entire existence down to the nanosecond.

Can Google not just redesign their calendar interface? Is that too much to ask? I'm not demanding the Lamborghini of digital planners - just something that doesn't look like a color-blind toddler went nuts with a highlighter collection. Something my technologically-challenged aunt could use without feeling like she's decoding the bloody Zapruder film just to pencil in her weekly bingo night.

Seriously. Evolve that UI. Make it user-friendly. Stop turning my life management into some kind of cryptic nightmare that requires an engineering degree and three years of therapy to navigate.

Absolute. Nightmare.

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Moon boys dating with a Reader is already mom

This request warmed my heart I don't know why but I loved it!

Marc Spector:

*He doesn't have a lot of problems socializing, except when it comes to children. When he meets your child, he gets a little nervous, doesn't mind if they're a toddler or a little older.

*You may think he's about to run away, you've experienced that thins before, but this time your senses are wrong.

*"I'm sorry about my... behavior, is just I'm not... I don't know how to engage with kids, I haven't had my own so..." (plus, the fact most of his childhood memories are stained with sadness, pain and -well, trauma)

*Rather goes to dates where you're in charge, and he observes in silence to learn about how to treat your little one. Sometimes he's so shy that you often listen the question of "Why does your friend doesn't talk, mom?"

*He's not the type of man who thinks gaining the girl means gaining the kid first, his autenthicity in that field makes you comfortable around him, specially since you've grown to be overprotective with both your child and you. World can be mean with single mothers.

*But Marc makes you feel independent and protected at the same time. He doesn't do or say things to rush your relationship, he tries really hard to show his soft side to your little one and, the first time he accepts to hold them or do a very small, quick task with them, you can see he treats them like they're made of porcelain, something precious he must handle carefully.

Jake Lockley:

*I've mentioned in previous headcanon he dreams of a family. You probably met in a random place and he began to court you, though you were a little worried about his reaction once he found out about your child.

*But instead of going nuts or run, he showed a lot of interest and even suggested to go together to a little date... before remembering he's not the "soft" kind and his main features are linked with violence and stuff.

*Not like that's going to stop him, anyways. He's so enthusiastic he manages to mix time with you and your little one. Like, you're in a park walk, talking and stuff, and he sees the ducks and swans and immediately drives you both to the lake to feed them, teaching your child how to do it.

*Sometimes he daydreams about a crazy scenario in which he rescues your kid (while doing his vigilante work) and, as a reward, you allow him to, you know, go deeper... in the relationship, I mean *cough*

*Probably his dream comes true if, for some reason, you have a problem with your child's father. Perhaps he's the kind of man who tends to dissapear for months and when shows up again, demands for a lot of privileges he doesn't deserve, and can be really annoying. Oh, but you're not alone this time, Jake's around, and you don't even need to mention him about this. He knows.

*Although Jake craves deep inside with a normal life, he knows himself very well. He'll step on to protect you and your little family with all his might until that donkeyhead vanishes forever... or ends up in a hospital, whatever it takes.

*"I didn't do this to gain your favor, (Y/N), I did this because I want you to be happy... conmigo o con otro"

Steven Grant:

*He probably met you at the Museum. You were there, staring at the objects, carrying with a little toddler who looks like you like two waterdrops. He's just as kind and polite as usual, but it becomes obvious, after some minutes in which even his boss nags him for "bugging visitors", you liked each other a lot.

*In this case, he thinks he's the one who has no chance with you. "She's a mom, it means she has... a life, you get it? Why would she spend her time with a weirdo like me?" (yeah, he's talking with Crowley again)

*So, when he receives a call from you, he cannot believe it. "A-are you sure you got the right number?" "Uh, yes? Aren't you Steven from the museum?" "Yes, yes, I am, I just... fine, fine, you wanna go to a -uh, child friendly place or something? For your little one, I mean"

*The first dates you let your child with a very good friend of yours, and when you finally ask Steven if he's okay with meeting your kid, he's glad to. And then his mind spits like eigh places where you can go together, the three of you.

*He doesn't try to get the "suddenly father-like attitude", he keeps his distance and is very respectful, but you can see he has a special talent to engage with kids.

*Yes, when your relationship becomes formal, he likes to give you small and cute gifts, and sometimes also brings something for you child, probably something he bought with his employee discount in the museum because "I think they'd like this little Anubis to guard their bedroom".

*Sometimes you wonder if Steven is as real as he seems. He's kind, funny, curious, treats you and your little one with love and respect, never tries to get into your life with nosy questions or nasty advices. But he's true, and he'll be like this until you want to finish your relationship. But honestly, you won't.